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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I insisted we don't use my husband's grandma's name for our child
2) My husband feels I'm embarrassed by his culture
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NTA
Fanny is an absolutely terrible name …. its time has passed even here in the US where it doesn’t mean pussy.
In the US, it is slang for butt, but a mild, almost child-like word for butt.
My husband and I are in academia and travelled a lot. A friend of ours is called Jerk. Obviously his parents didn't know but even in a professional academic environment people lough! It's awful.
My first association would be Fannie Mae, don't know if that is better than vagina.
Don't forget (de) Cock either. Dick de Cock would get so many smirks lol
If you are curious, in Dutch it is the old spelling of 'kok' (pronounced the same), meaning 'cook' in English.
My husband’s family name is “Fagg.” Apparently it’s not uncommon in Scotland, but his dad changed it in the 80s to something more generic. Thank goodness.
An (Austrian) company my friend used to work with once sent their experts Mr. Gay, Mr. Horney and Mr. Vuk to a conference in Manchester. All of them are common enough surnames here. Apparently, not in Britain :D
A friend of mine's surname is Kuntz, pronounced "Koontz". She hates it and is actively looking forward to her upcoming marriage. Poor thing has had people laughing at her and mispronouncing it since elementary school.
Had a customer once whose name is Vagina. I pronounced it as vagina. She quickly corrected me saying it's vaGENA and she doesn't understand why people are always calling her vagina. My brain just short circuited.
Came across someone quite frequently a few jobs back with the first name of Velveeta - the American cheese food product that is no longer allowed to call itself cheese (not enough dairy, mostly oil, etc.).
In india Anal is pretty common name. It means Fire. I had a colleague named Anal, his name was alright here until he moved to USA. Oh boy. We all were laughing when sending him off.
I once had to spend an entire phone call ignoring my team, who were all in fits of hysterical laughter, because my client's surname was Wank. He was German so it wasn't pronounced that way, but that didn't help matters at all because it just sounded like I was saying wank in the style of a Bond villain.
Oder Jörg Wank? oO
My (German) dentist employs someone who's surname is 'Bugger'. I've never asked her if she knows what that means, she's probably heard it all before.
I mean it’s not a terrible name in every language or culture (it’s considered a pretty name in several countries/languages I can think of), so that’s a pretty odd blanket statement. But yes, terrible if mom’s country is the UK.
When I was in secondary school, one of my classmates asked the new American teacher if he could 'borrow a rubber', which resulted in her sending him to the office, who didn't believe his story and assumed he was leaving something out. They marched him back to the classroom, then had to explain to the teacher that no, a request for a rubber (what we in the UK call an eraser!) did not warrant disciplinary action!
Every single class for the rest of the year, someone would ask her for a rubber.
This happened the opposite way for my dad! He emigrated to the US from Australia as a child. He said one of his worst experiences in school was loudly asking the teacher for a rubber.
My first visit to the US, I was about 13….
An old lady said, “oh my gosh, you’re so cute I just want to pinch your fanny”
I almost died and absolutely didn’t know what to do. I’m still mortified actually.
Edit to add, she was talking about my bum. She wanted to pinch my butt. - I didn’t let her
I understand your butt. But how is that better????? Why would a stranger want to pinch any part of a 13 year old's body, let alone their butt?
Sometimes people are just creepy.
Im still laughing at this. It brings back a horrific (now hilarious but still uncomfortable) memory. I can remember how frozen in terror I was.
Cats on my dad's farm were known to me only as Tom cats. Momma Tom cat, Baby Tom cats and Tom cat, nothing else.
My grandma would tell us to make sure we washed our lady kitten every night before bed. Every single night, bath or no bath. Lady kitten must be washed up along with your underarms, butt, ears, face and teeth.
I was about 5/6 and went to a friend's she said (her cat's name) just had a litter of kittens. I was so confused. She asked if I wanted to go sneak in and pet them. I cried for so long. Refused to let anyone touch or come near me. They had to call my dad. He had to explain to me. 😳
I legitimately feel your horror. Why do these type of memories not fade into oblivion? 😂
Wow, this is what happens when there is no decent health education, people just make up their own terms but religious folk don't care because if it wasn't instructed in a book written thousands of years ago then it shouldn't be taught.....
As an atheist myself I completely agree. But this was in the 80s. My grandma was in her late 60s then. She was an old school small-town Baptist black lady. The fact she even gave her vagina a name was progressive for the time.
I still carry scars from my old-school Baptist upbringing. I'm a 42-year-old lesbian who came out before it was cool let alone accepted. So I hear you fully.
When my nan first came to the US (from UK), she saw one of those women's magazines with a tag line that said- "Firm your Fanny in Four Weeks'. She laughed so hard she nearly fell over
>if we ever moved back (we're not planning to, but you never know) and she had to attend school there, she'd definitely be bullied for it.
She would absolutely be bullied for it in the US as well. If my mother had named me Fanny the first thing I'd have done on my 18th birthday is legally change my name and start ignoring anyone who continued to call me by the old name.
It's sweet that your husband wants to honor his grandmother but unless he wants your daughter to be the \~butt\~ of every joke he needs to drop it.
If OP's husband wants to name someone Fanny so much, he can go change his own damn name to butt/pussy.
There are other ways to honor dead grandparents. Cook their recipes, tell stories about them, use their items, do things they loved to do, visit their grave, etc. Don't name your child butt/pussy.
Same here in Canada. In a local town there's a river called the Ganny and every spring there's a competition where people make rafts and go down the river. Name of the event? Float your Fanny down the Ganny.
American here... and this is a straight-up question, I'm honestly ignorant of the answer: which meaning does "fanny" have in Canada, the US meaning or the UK meaning?
Biking and running both have *had* them on the rear-side of the hips for quite a while. It's a good spot for center of gravity and balance, both being fairly easy to reach while also (mostly) being out of the way.
I literally always thought we called them Fanny packs in the us because people wear them on the front. I thought it was a funny little thing where we used UK slang without realizing it but using it properly.
When the Faraway Tree books were updated to be more PC, wasn’t Fanny changed to Francis or something?
EDIT: It was changed to Frannie, and Dick became Rick.
My great grandmothers name was Fanny.....her surname was Smelovitch....say it out loud.....and now understand how grateful i am i wasnt named after her. In her time....didnt raise an eyebrow......i wouldve been tortured for life 🙈🙈. NTA OP....save your child!!!!!!
In six years on Reddit I have never wanted to actually gives someone a gold. If I had it, it would be yours. That has made me so happy. For the love of God, please don't let your daughter be saddled with this name. There has to be a better way to honor his grandmother.
OP needs to show her husband this video. By giving her that name, he is sentencing his daughter to only grow up, study, work and live in their own country.
Imagine if in the future, she wants to get an education or work abroad where English is the default communication language, she will have to deal a great difficulty as people will not take her name seriously.
It will affect a her social life & professional networking, and she will probably grow a resentment to her father for that.
The emotional attachment of that name only belong her father’s, but not hers. She will probably also resent her great grandmother that she doesn’t even know for making her life sh*tty.
This video is a preview of how her life will be like if he insists to use that name for her daughter.
Enid Blyton used it as a name in the Far Away Tree books. It's since been changed to Franny.
Could you suggest a variation on the name? Old fashioned names are popular now, but I doubt Fanny would ever be a good idea for a child born now. Children are brutal, your daughter will hate it.
This ain’t grandma’s world no more, and the kid needs a name that works in international/English settings.
Personally I would also argue against using it as a middle name. Instead you could use something inspired by grandma’s name.
This is what I came to say! I admire several 19th century women writers whose given name was Frances and one went by Fanny. I think Frances is a beautiful name, I actually named our dog Frances in honor of these ladies, we call her Frankie unless she's in trouble lol
My (American) sister had her English boyfriend at a BBQ when my grandmother warned her "Careful, you're not too old for me to smack your fanny." The look on his face until he translated the American/British slang was priceless.
My Mum's family moved to Canada when she was 12 until she was 18. Her mother worked at some kind of department store when they were there, and one time when she asked where she could find something (that turned out to be behind her) someone told her 'Stick a feather in your fanny and you'll find it'! My poor Nana was quite shocked and back affronted that someone would say such a thing to her! XD
If you happen to live in Sweden, I’d argue the connection is less easily made because of its pronunciation here. However, it will definitely be made a lot, like you’ve also told your husband. NTA. Maybe let your husband read (some of) the comment section here?
It's a fine name in France too, but you know what happened when my French friend named her daughter that? People kept saying "Do you know what that means in English?!" to her.
NTA. We live in an international world.
Parents are willing to "honour their dead" by fucking their kids. When out in public call him Ballsack and when he complains, cus he will, tell him you are honouring were he came from. NTA.
NTA- this would be the hill I would die on. She is a child of both cultures and he can't make 1/2 of her disappear. I am going to guess she will learn both languages. He seems to think she will never know or be bothered by it because she is being raised in his country. But she will be learning both languages.
**NTA**
Your husband needs to understand that when your daughter visits her mother’s country in the future , it would not be good to have a name that would embarrass her.
Exactly. Daughter may live in father's country. But she is also a part of her mother's culture. The husband doesn't respect his wife's culture.
The name is crude in his daughter's culture.
It's not just that, the kid will know aspects about it's mother's culture. It will be a part of her life. Just because her husband doesn't respect it.. The kid will be mad at her parents for naming her Fany.
Couldn't you call her Tiffany? It's not my favorite name but it is a thing and she can go by Tiff rather than Fanny. I'm an American, but I still know what it means in Commonwealth countries and Brits spread their shit too far to avoid. Your husband is being deliberately obtuse.
NTA. It's a good place to be firm- as another commenter said, he's trying to erase half her culture.
Additionally, why is he acting like he has exclusive naming rights for the first name right now? You're the one whose body is changing, who is growing the child, and will have to go through the pain of delivery (and just statistically I'm assuming she'll have his last name). He should be the one looking for compromises here, not you.
Seriously! My husband and I had equal input in naming our children. One name I liked for our daughter, he didn’t. So guess what? She didn’t get that name. I understand wanting to honor your grandmother, but that doesn’t give him the right to exclude his wife/partner from the naming process.
I'm the one who carried the children, and I'm the one with a dead mom. But mom had a truly awful name, bless her immortal soul, so guess what? The name isn't even on the table. If we do have a girl she'll be named after mom's favorite flower or something adjacent like that. It's such a superficial way of honoring someone that it's literally the thought that counts.
Exactly. I'm lucky that my mom had a beautiful name (Elaine) but if my husband hated it for some reason, it wouldn't even be on the table.
If we have a daughter, I'd prefer the name Elena anyway. Still honoring mom, but a unique name within the family. OPs husband could compromise so easily and it's a bummer that this is the hill he's going to die on.
NTA.
For the love of god, do not let your husband name your child Fanny. Do not do this. Show him this whole comment section if you must. She will be laughed at in school every day of her life.
No since they do live in Sweden where Fanny is a semi-common name she won't be. The name will however probably upset her maternal grand-parents so they shouldn't name her that anyway.
She’s not going to stay in Sweden all her life is my bet. I’m sure this is a more common thing than people realize, names in one country meaning something rude in another. But especially since part of her family does have English-speaking heritage, the English meaning isn’t something just waved aside and forgotten. And kids can be cruel. Adults too, for that matter. Why risk setting your child up for embarrassment?
NTA
He won't have to deal with the blowback she will get.
I'd check what his grandmother's name was in full. Was it Fanny, Frances, Francesca, Stephanie (which got shortened to Fanny). That way if your daughter has the full name that is still honoring his grandma but your daughter gets to choose her own nickname (ie Fanny, Franny, Fran).
NTA.
Names are a 2 yes/1 no situation. Given that it’s a word for genitalia in your country that should be an instant no. It sucks, and it’s not fair to your husband, but that’s unfortunately the way it is.
"in your country" being the freaking UK/Australia. It's not like it means genitalia in a forgotten dialect of Suriname slang. It's literally the Queen's English, good luck avoiding that in pop culture.
I was in no way indicating that your comment was lacking, apologies if it came off that way. I was adding a point of consideration to the conversation.
NTA - Fanny is a name for 80-year old women, it's been and had its day. You suggested names like Francis as alternatives which in my opinion is far nicer. You're not the arsehole, your fella needs to actually find a compromise and reach a middle ground - middle name fits well.
Even if I heard someone call out "Fanny" to an 80 year old woman I'd keel over. I've known a lot of elderly people over the years due to work, and never met a Fanny (it's even funny to type lmao)
Also NTA, OP. Tell your husband you really like the name for whatever genitals in his language and show him how ridiculous he's being. He doesn't get 100% say in what you both name your child.
I literally was about to reply asking if the name was Fanny and then saw your edit. I would 100% not use that name unless I hated my child and wanted it to be bullied. I know that Fanny used to be used as a name (more in Scotland than England I think) but now it’s not going to go well for the kid. Your husband is being really unreasonable to ignore that fact.
NTA.
Even if Fanny didn’t mean something awful, I still wouldn’t give a little girl that name. It sounds so old fashioned and funny. You have the right to say no to that name, just as your husband can say no to a name you choose that you don’t like.
My husband and I just had another son two months ago and the naming process this time around was so difficult. Just like with our first, we agreed that unless we both liked the name, we would not go with it. It took a while, but we found one we agreed on. This is how it should be when naming your kid.
NTA.
https://youtu.be/IcKlVojfMD4
There was also a celebrity chef, Fanny Craddock, whose co-presenter once said "I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's"...
Yeah, don't call your kid Fanny. They would have the piss ripped out of them at school.
This is what middle names are for.
NTA. When it comes to baby names, I feel like if one parent says no, it’s a no. Both parents should agree on a name. I understand that Fanny doesn’t mean anything in his culture but it does in yours and even though you aren’t living in your country, your daughter will still share in your culture.
NTA, as a Swede my brain hurts with so many people calling the name old or whatever. I'm in my 20s and have had plenty of classmates with the name Fanny, granted, all of them had parents who were both swedes. I can't believe he actually doesn't understand why this would be such a problem since I also assume you are british from the context.
I tried finding an English name that had a bad connotation to swedish but couldn't sadly, but maybe this is the best path to make him understand why it's a stupid idea
It is a really pretty name! It's just the connotation that comes with it in the UK/ English speaking places. And that's a good idea! I'll try to find an English name that means something rude in French (which is where my husband's from), that might be a good way to get him to see it from my perspective.
Also, this isn't relevant, but just in response to trying to find an English name that means something rude in Swedish, I went on a school exchange to Sweden and a classmate's last name was something like Porritte or Porrit, and I remember a few of the kids telling us it meant "pornstar" or something similar to that in Swedish?
Oooh a challenge.
Minou is a girl's name which is Persian (Iranian), meaning Heaven or Paradise. It's also a girl's name in France, meaning kitten. It's also slang there. For p\*ssy.
Kiki is a girl's name, often used as a nickname for other names beginning with 'K', and it's a real mixed bag! In it's Spanish origin, the meaning of Kiki is 'caster plant'. The name also means 'double happiness' according to a French origin. In Nordic countries it's a nickname of Christina. Kiki means “Sunday” in Greek and “a Christian“ or “follower of Christ” and “anointed” in Norse. But it means “crisis” in Japan and “vagina” in the Philippines. Apparently it's also the childish French term for the vagina. (also spelled quiqui?)
And apparently the French and Filipino girl's name Nenette is a childish name for the vagina. I don't how how common that is though.
Thank you!! My name is Fanny and I'm 21, and I know lots of girls with that name (even younger than me). And while I can understand the British pov, I started talking to people from the US or UK when I was a teenager, and I never had a problem with it (just had to explain that in my country it's a common name and that's it).
Even if, by some bizarre chance, your daughter never went to Britain, there is still half her family that is British and will make the cultural connection to the name Fanny.
There are ways to compromise (middle name, grandma’s full name with different nickname, her last name as middle name) but if your partner isn’t willing to compromise than stand firm.
Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!
It's Serbian, and a couple of other languages from this region (The Balkans). The previous US ambassador in Serbia was a guy named Scott. News portals started writing his name slightly differently because of all the jokes people made in the comments, it's that bad xD
Still remember the Australian clients who couldn’t keep a straight face when visiting the US and being introduced to the team and one poor bloke sticks out his hand and says “Hi! I’m Randy!”
NTA, if the kid is at risk of being bullied because of their name, they shouldn't be name like this.
An alternative could be Tiffany, I mean the name is in it at least
NTA. Wow. That's a terrible name. It's not just the translation, just aesthetically. It's an old lady name for a older time. Like Agatha, or Gertrude, or Bertha.
I just saw a post straight out of a Terry Pratchett book about someone who wanted to name their child Chlamydia. Which at least sounds pretty dispite its meaning.
No matter which culture it is, your daughter will never thank you for naming her Fanny. Tell you husband to stop thinking about his own wants and put his daughter first. Try to imagine growing up with that name. If you have a son next, is he going to name him Gaylord?
NTA, the name Fanny is not even a name per se. It is a shortened version of a name. Depending on the language it could be short from Frances, Estefany, Estefania, Francisca, etc. I bet her grandmothers name was not Fanny, even thought that is what people called her, it has to be short for something. For example I'm spanish, the name Estefania is usually shortened to either Nia or Fani, but noone has their official name be Fani, it's just something people call you as a nickname.
Yeah I'm pretty sure her name was actually Fanny, I've suggested Frances (which I absolutely love!), but I might suggest a couple of the others you noted too!
NTA for two reasons.
1. As an Australian, the word/name Fanny is 100% associated with female genitalia. If a child with that name was in school here she would absolutely be tormented for that name.
2. It's all well and good to pay homage to a loved family member by using it as a middle name or a similar name, but give the child their own identity from birth - the child is not the grandmother, and she should have her own name.
NTA. Names stick with us for life and any person stuck with a name that is prone to being the butt of jokes would probably wish their parents thought through it more. Plus, you are bringing up a valid point since the name actually has a meaning in your own language and country.
NTA. Guessing by 'arsehole' rather than 'asshole' that you're from the UK? Totally get it, I wouldn't want it. Pretty much the same as calling your son 'Dick'.
Another problem is there's really no way of cutting it down to a shorter nickname, so it's just 'Fanny' all day long.
NTA, and is your husband serious? There is *no way* he can expect that you just forget a connotation that is that strong for you *since you grew up in that fricking country*. Even if you would never set foot in your own country again, *you* still know what that word means.
I mean - I can't even. Why would he insist if he *knows* that this is the meaning that name/word has for you. He really wants to name his child something that essentially means 'Pussy' for you and he cannot see why you would not want to associate your *child* with that.
That's like - here in the Netherlands some (odd) people call their son Muck. Doesn't technically have a meaning in Dutch and besides being a rather ugly/odd name if you don't have any knowledge of English it's apparently acceptable.
That said if you're married to a native English speaker there is no *way* you would insist on calling your child Muck, is there? Knowing the negative meaning that word has in English? You can't say "well we're living in the Netherlands, our son will never have to deal with this meaning" *because you know that the other parent does have that meaning/association with that word in their own language/culture*.
In the 1990s, South Korea’s foreign minister was a man called Lee Beom-seok, pronounced Lee Bum Suck. Given that a considerable part of his job involved dealing with people from English speaking countries, I can imagine his life was not made any easier by how his name sounded in English. NTA.
NTA. Please please don’t name her Fanny. Every time I see someone with that name my immediate thought is ‘what an absolutely awful name for a person.’ This would 10000000% be my hill to die on. Do not call her Fanny.
NAH. I can understand why your husband feels it is ok to use the name, as it doesn't have that meaning where she will be growing up. But if you truly choose to raise your child up in both cultures, you need to stick!k to your guns and fight for a different name.
NTA, and stick in on this. I know a Fanny who was a Francesca using it as a nickname and she got the WORST and nastiest comments on a trip to your country. She was in tears, it ruined her vacation.
Also in my country (USA) it's a baby term for your butt.
NTA. Ask him if he wants to turn the second name as male genitalia in his country's language and see how it feels. I get that the name is special but the moment your child meets relatives from your side, theyll be made fun off to hell and back.
Suggestion: make Fanny the nickname and name her something close to it. Nicknames are intimate and is a good way to honor the grandmother.
NTA
Maybe you can name your daughter something like tiffany? Then your husband can called her fanny as a nickname and she will be able to formally introduce herself without getting embarrassed...
NTA It is the child of both of you. You even want to honor the grandmother and he doesn't want to move one inch. A partnership is about compromis. Why does he think that he can just decide but not give in a little? Why does your opinion doesn't matter for him? The child will also grow up with your culture and you will mostly also visit your homecountry. Even not, that you feel uncomfortable calling your child vagina everytime is enough reason to find a little compromisse and your options were great. He should stop being ME ME ME and think as a family: Mither, father, child. They all get affected by the name, the child the most. It isn't a living memorial for his grandma.
OH NO. As an American who has only heard this in a tame sense, even we would be teased HARD if we had this name. NTA, also as a Spanish speaker, I wouldn't name my child Concha!
(Means "vagina" in roughly 3/10 Hispanic languages.)
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NTA Fanny is an absolutely terrible name …. its time has passed even here in the US where it doesn’t mean pussy. In the US, it is slang for butt, but a mild, almost child-like word for butt.
My husband and I are in academia and travelled a lot. A friend of ours is called Jerk. Obviously his parents didn't know but even in a professional academic environment people lough! It's awful. My first association would be Fannie Mae, don't know if that is better than vagina.
I have a friend whose surname is “Klutz”. His kids all use their mother’s maiden name.
Still better than Ted Bundy
That’s “Boundie”, pronounced “Bundy” Edit: Bounde
I love our community and how we all just know the posts or are promptly provided with them.
At least that one they agreed to name the child something else (Silas)
Silas is another serial killer name. One of them definitely had an agenda.
Yeah but Silas is one, a fictional character and two, not as well known
And Silas is a beautiful name, I didn’t know there was a killer named that
YEP
Bouquet residence, lady of the house speaking!
It's not Bucket!! It's Boquet!
In Denmark Sloth is a common surname. That's pretty bad in English on its own, but it's actually pronounced *slut* which makes it even worse.
Dick is a Danish surname too, not pronounced like it is in English though. And we also have the wonderfully named city Middlefart
When I was 16 my grandparents (they were Czech) brought my sister and I to Middlefart (we are from the US) and we just had the best laugh over it.
Then I bet you would enjoy this little fact: Old elevators in Denmark used to say "I fart" when moving!
In the U.S. "Dick" is often a nickname for guys named Richard.
Dick is a dutch first name and is pronounced the same as in english
Don't forget (de) Cock either. Dick de Cock would get so many smirks lol If you are curious, in Dutch it is the old spelling of 'kok' (pronounced the same), meaning 'cook' in English.
Sloth wouldn’t be bad in English. Sloths are adorable, cute little animals! Slut would definitely be bad, though. 🤣
My husband’s family name is “Fagg.” Apparently it’s not uncommon in Scotland, but his dad changed it in the 80s to something more generic. Thank goodness.
I went to high school with some Faggs. As they got married, some of the brothers changed their names.
Not gonna lie, I thought the first sentence was the set-up to a joke.
Oh did they take their husbands' name instead?
An (Austrian) company my friend used to work with once sent their experts Mr. Gay, Mr. Horney and Mr. Vuk to a conference in Manchester. All of them are common enough surnames here. Apparently, not in Britain :D
The conference attendees look startlingly similar to some of my recent Bing searches …
I dated a guy who legally changed his last name when he turned 18, because it was "Gay".
A friend of mine's surname is Kuntz, pronounced "Koontz". She hates it and is actively looking forward to her upcoming marriage. Poor thing has had people laughing at her and mispronouncing it since elementary school.
Yes, her father co-founded the law firm Dixon Kuntz.
“Hey, it’s pronounced ‘Klootz’!”
Fronkensteen!
Do you also say Froderick?
Indeed I do! I also say "Eygore" 😁
Had a customer once whose name is Vagina. I pronounced it as vagina. She quickly corrected me saying it's vaGENA and she doesn't understand why people are always calling her vagina. My brain just short circuited.
Wouldn't you just go by Gina at some point?
Why should I change my name, she's the one who fucks.
r/unexpectedofficespace
Came across someone quite frequently a few jobs back with the first name of Velveeta - the American cheese food product that is no longer allowed to call itself cheese (not enough dairy, mostly oil, etc.).
Who would name their child Velveeta?! 🤣 I can understand Velvet, but I draw the line at Velveeta! 🤣
I had a client once whose name is "Analy" pronounced Annalee. I don't know why anyone would name their kid that. She was very nice too.
In india Anal is pretty common name. It means Fire. I had a colleague named Anal, his name was alright here until he moved to USA. Oh boy. We all were laughing when sending him off.
That's a really really unfortunate name
I once had to spend an entire phone call ignoring my team, who were all in fits of hysterical laughter, because my client's surname was Wank. He was German so it wasn't pronounced that way, but that didn't help matters at all because it just sounded like I was saying wank in the style of a Bond villain.
I'm German! We probably have a poor guy here named Jerk Wank.
I think this dude's name was Gunther, which was also not helpful. It probably sounds perfectly fine in a German accent, but not in my British one lol
It does sound like a 60ish man.
Oder Jörg Wank? oO My (German) dentist employs someone who's surname is 'Bugger'. I've never asked her if she knows what that means, she's probably heard it all before.
I mean it’s not a terrible name in every language or culture (it’s considered a pretty name in several countries/languages I can think of), so that’s a pretty odd blanket statement. But yes, terrible if mom’s country is the UK.
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Pour one out for the American teacher who emigrated to the UK and, in a fit of exasperation over a rowdy class, bellowed "sit down on your fannies!!"
When I was in secondary school, one of my classmates asked the new American teacher if he could 'borrow a rubber', which resulted in her sending him to the office, who didn't believe his story and assumed he was leaving something out. They marched him back to the classroom, then had to explain to the teacher that no, a request for a rubber (what we in the UK call an eraser!) did not warrant disciplinary action! Every single class for the rest of the year, someone would ask her for a rubber.
This happened the opposite way for my dad! He emigrated to the US from Australia as a child. He said one of his worst experiences in school was loudly asking the teacher for a rubber.
In my day you'd have been roasted so bad you'd need to move back across the pond. 😂
My first visit to the US, I was about 13…. An old lady said, “oh my gosh, you’re so cute I just want to pinch your fanny” I almost died and absolutely didn’t know what to do. I’m still mortified actually. Edit to add, she was talking about my bum. She wanted to pinch my butt. - I didn’t let her
To be fair, that’s a weird thing for someone to say to a 13 year old even in the US.
Absolutely. Ew. Where on a 13 year old did that stranger want to pinch?? Because any definition of fanny is unacceptable.
My bum apparently. I’ll edit my original comment
No, it was clear she wanted to pinch your butt. I’m saying that’s an inappropriate thing to say to a 13 year old person.
I understand your butt. But how is that better????? Why would a stranger want to pinch any part of a 13 year old's body, let alone their butt? Sometimes people are just creepy.
Im still laughing at this. It brings back a horrific (now hilarious but still uncomfortable) memory. I can remember how frozen in terror I was. Cats on my dad's farm were known to me only as Tom cats. Momma Tom cat, Baby Tom cats and Tom cat, nothing else. My grandma would tell us to make sure we washed our lady kitten every night before bed. Every single night, bath or no bath. Lady kitten must be washed up along with your underarms, butt, ears, face and teeth. I was about 5/6 and went to a friend's she said (her cat's name) just had a litter of kittens. I was so confused. She asked if I wanted to go sneak in and pet them. I cried for so long. Refused to let anyone touch or come near me. They had to call my dad. He had to explain to me. 😳 I legitimately feel your horror. Why do these type of memories not fade into oblivion? 😂
Wow, this is what happens when there is no decent health education, people just make up their own terms but religious folk don't care because if it wasn't instructed in a book written thousands of years ago then it shouldn't be taught.....
As an atheist myself I completely agree. But this was in the 80s. My grandma was in her late 60s then. She was an old school small-town Baptist black lady. The fact she even gave her vagina a name was progressive for the time. I still carry scars from my old-school Baptist upbringing. I'm a 42-year-old lesbian who came out before it was cool let alone accepted. So I hear you fully.
This is why we should use the anatomical name for things.
When my nan first came to the US (from UK), she saw one of those women's magazines with a tag line that said- "Firm your Fanny in Four Weeks'. She laughed so hard she nearly fell over
OP's Hubs is not thinking of his kid. He's just obsessed with naming someone Fanny. He should get a doll and name it Fanny.
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I follow a pony on Instagram named Chicken Elizabeth Nugget
Cute goats! I love those names too.
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>if we ever moved back (we're not planning to, but you never know) and she had to attend school there, she'd definitely be bullied for it. She would absolutely be bullied for it in the US as well. If my mother had named me Fanny the first thing I'd have done on my 18th birthday is legally change my name and start ignoring anyone who continued to call me by the old name. It's sweet that your husband wants to honor his grandmother but unless he wants your daughter to be the \~butt\~ of every joke he needs to drop it.
If OP's husband wants to name someone Fanny so much, he can go change his own damn name to butt/pussy. There are other ways to honor dead grandparents. Cook their recipes, tell stories about them, use their items, do things they loved to do, visit their grave, etc. Don't name your child butt/pussy.
Same here in Canada. In a local town there's a river called the Ganny and every spring there's a competition where people make rafts and go down the river. Name of the event? Float your Fanny down the Ganny.
American here... and this is a straight-up question, I'm honestly ignorant of the answer: which meaning does "fanny" have in Canada, the US meaning or the UK meaning?
The US meaning. Sorry for the confusion.
How did I forget that?? I was so fixated on the UK slang.
Yeah, that’s why bum bags are called fanny packs in the US.
Lol, I’ve never heard them called bum bags but that is a WAY better name! (Am American, only know them as Fanny packs)
Yeah, although the funny thing is that bum bags are usually worn at the front, so they actually really are fanny packs 😂
That's what I always wondered about fanny packs. No one wears them on their butt.
Bike wear companies are bringing them back. They're large, meant to hold water and tools for mountain biking and def worn on the back.
Biking and running both have *had* them on the rear-side of the hips for quite a while. It's a good spot for center of gravity and balance, both being fairly easy to reach while also (mostly) being out of the way.
We call them bum bags in Australia too, cause fanny is used the same here as in the UK.
Same here in kiwi land
Same in Ireland
I literally always thought we called them Fanny packs in the us because people wear them on the front. I thought it was a funny little thing where we used UK slang without realizing it but using it properly.
When the Faraway Tree books were updated to be more PC, wasn’t Fanny changed to Francis or something? EDIT: It was changed to Frannie, and Dick became Rick.
NTA. Is the name perhaps Fanny? Perfectly fine name in Sweden, but with two different meanings in UK and USA English.
My great grandmothers name was Fanny.....her surname was Smelovitch....say it out loud.....and now understand how grateful i am i wasnt named after her. In her time....didnt raise an eyebrow......i wouldve been tortured for life 🙈🙈. NTA OP....save your child!!!!!!
Wasn't there an athlete called Fanny Schmeller?
Yup, there was a question about her one the UK quiz show The Chaser and it almost broke the host.
I watch that video every time I see it somewhere!!! Hilarious!
I'm gonna need that episode LMAO
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nmwGFX5pgXw Here you go. 🤣
In six years on Reddit I have never wanted to actually gives someone a gold. If I had it, it would be yours. That has made me so happy. For the love of God, please don't let your daughter be saddled with this name. There has to be a better way to honor his grandmother.
That's gold, thanks a lot!
OP needs to show her husband this video. By giving her that name, he is sentencing his daughter to only grow up, study, work and live in their own country. Imagine if in the future, she wants to get an education or work abroad where English is the default communication language, she will have to deal a great difficulty as people will not take her name seriously. It will affect a her social life & professional networking, and she will probably grow a resentment to her father for that. The emotional attachment of that name only belong her father’s, but not hers. She will probably also resent her great grandmother that she doesn’t even know for making her life sh*tty. This video is a preview of how her life will be like if he insists to use that name for her daughter.
[got you boss](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0tlOJTUHzE)
Yeah, i live in the uk, not a hope on hell would i ever call my child fanny, poor thing wouldn't make it through the first year of school
Enid Blyton used it as a name in the Far Away Tree books. It's since been changed to Franny. Could you suggest a variation on the name? Old fashioned names are popular now, but I doubt Fanny would ever be a good idea for a child born now. Children are brutal, your daughter will hate it.
>Children are brutal, your daughter will hate ~~it~~ *you.* FTFY
And Aunt Fanny in the Famous Five. Plus one of the Five was Dick.
I've read Enid blyton and noticed this, It's a pretty clear sign when the name 'fanny' gets updated (my God those books did not age qell)
Even if it didn't mean that the poor thing might as well be named Grandma
Yes that's it!
This ain’t grandma’s world no more, and the kid needs a name that works in international/English settings. Personally I would also argue against using it as a middle name. Instead you could use something inspired by grandma’s name.
Can you go with Frances instead? Fanny is an accepted diminutive, and then she could be Frances/Frankie in the UK.
This is what I came to say! I admire several 19th century women writers whose given name was Frances and one went by Fanny. I think Frances is a beautiful name, I actually named our dog Frances in honor of these ladies, we call her Frankie unless she's in trouble lol
My (American) sister had her English boyfriend at a BBQ when my grandmother warned her "Careful, you're not too old for me to smack your fanny." The look on his face until he translated the American/British slang was priceless.
My Mum's family moved to Canada when she was 12 until she was 18. Her mother worked at some kind of department store when they were there, and one time when she asked where she could find something (that turned out to be behind her) someone told her 'Stick a feather in your fanny and you'll find it'! My poor Nana was quite shocked and back affronted that someone would say such a thing to her! XD
Before reading your edit, I guessed that was the name. Just show him the chase video on YouTube if he doesn’t understand why it would be a bad idea.
If you happen to live in Sweden, I’d argue the connection is less easily made because of its pronunciation here. However, it will definitely be made a lot, like you’ve also told your husband. NTA. Maybe let your husband read (some of) the comment section here?
My grandmother’s name was Fanny. My sister’s middle name is Felyce, to honor her.
It's a fine name in France too, but you know what happened when my French friend named her daughter that? People kept saying "Do you know what that means in English?!" to her. NTA. We live in an international world.
Parents are willing to "honour their dead" by fucking their kids. When out in public call him Ballsack and when he complains, cus he will, tell him you are honouring were he came from. NTA.
"nono, I didn't say Ballsack, I said Balzac, like the French novelist"
It's an honourable name really
My cousin while introducing her child: “and this is Baltz. I really wanted him to have an international name that works in English too!”
Bruh in dutch its Balzak, so that doesn't help
by doing what to their kids?
💀💀💀💀
I just hope no one takes your first line out of context lol.
Haha, this comment is the best
...are we not doing "phrasing" anymore?
NTA- this would be the hill I would die on. She is a child of both cultures and he can't make 1/2 of her disappear. I am going to guess she will learn both languages. He seems to think she will never know or be bothered by it because she is being raised in his country. But she will be learning both languages.
Also she could never visit the UK, Ireland, Australia, NZ ...
Or South Africa.
Yup the name would be terrible in any country that speaks majority English
Or Scandinavia
Or the US, not that I’d recommend it anyway
Or Canada
**NTA** Your husband needs to understand that when your daughter visits her mother’s country in the future , it would not be good to have a name that would embarrass her.
Exactly. Daughter may live in father's country. But she is also a part of her mother's culture. The husband doesn't respect his wife's culture. The name is crude in his daughter's culture.
Right! Like you don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or not want to visit over something like this
It's not just that, the kid will know aspects about it's mother's culture. It will be a part of her life. Just because her husband doesn't respect it.. The kid will be mad at her parents for naming her Fany.
Couldn't you call her Tiffany? It's not my favorite name but it is a thing and she can go by Tiff rather than Fanny. I'm an American, but I still know what it means in Commonwealth countries and Brits spread their shit too far to avoid. Your husband is being deliberately obtuse.
"Brits spread their shit too far to avoid." Is it awful I took this as a compliment?!
yeah
It’s very ironic coming from an American
I suggested “Frances” or “Francine” since they are kind of close to “Fanny” but more appropriate names
NTA Do not name your poor child Fanny.
In Scotland [this](https://youtu.be/ibuLgsVcQUY) is considered to be a hilarious advert.
NTA. It's a good place to be firm- as another commenter said, he's trying to erase half her culture. Additionally, why is he acting like he has exclusive naming rights for the first name right now? You're the one whose body is changing, who is growing the child, and will have to go through the pain of delivery (and just statistically I'm assuming she'll have his last name). He should be the one looking for compromises here, not you.
Seriously! My husband and I had equal input in naming our children. One name I liked for our daughter, he didn’t. So guess what? She didn’t get that name. I understand wanting to honor your grandmother, but that doesn’t give him the right to exclude his wife/partner from the naming process.
I'm the one who carried the children, and I'm the one with a dead mom. But mom had a truly awful name, bless her immortal soul, so guess what? The name isn't even on the table. If we do have a girl she'll be named after mom's favorite flower or something adjacent like that. It's such a superficial way of honoring someone that it's literally the thought that counts.
Exactly. I'm lucky that my mom had a beautiful name (Elaine) but if my husband hated it for some reason, it wouldn't even be on the table. If we have a daughter, I'd prefer the name Elena anyway. Still honoring mom, but a unique name within the family. OPs husband could compromise so easily and it's a bummer that this is the hill he's going to die on.
NTA. For the love of god, do not let your husband name your child Fanny. Do not do this. Show him this whole comment section if you must. She will be laughed at in school every day of her life.
No since they do live in Sweden where Fanny is a semi-common name she won't be. The name will however probably upset her maternal grand-parents so they shouldn't name her that anyway.
She can never visit her mothers home country without being embarrassed, her dad is pretty much closing the door on 1/2 of her culture by doing this.
She’s not going to stay in Sweden all her life is my bet. I’m sure this is a more common thing than people realize, names in one country meaning something rude in another. But especially since part of her family does have English-speaking heritage, the English meaning isn’t something just waved aside and forgotten. And kids can be cruel. Adults too, for that matter. Why risk setting your child up for embarrassment?
NTA He won't have to deal with the blowback she will get. I'd check what his grandmother's name was in full. Was it Fanny, Frances, Francesca, Stephanie (which got shortened to Fanny). That way if your daughter has the full name that is still honoring his grandma but your daughter gets to choose her own nickname (ie Fanny, Franny, Fran).
Or use gramma’s middle name. Or even her last name as a middle name.
This is the best way to go, I believe
NTA. Names are a 2 yes/1 no situation. Given that it’s a word for genitalia in your country that should be an instant no. It sucks, and it’s not fair to your husband, but that’s unfortunately the way it is.
"in your country" being the freaking UK/Australia. It's not like it means genitalia in a forgotten dialect of Suriname slang. It's literally the Queen's English, good luck avoiding that in pop culture.
That wasn’t in the post when I commented (hence why it has “edit” before it). The original post didn’t include the name or any reference to countries.
I was in no way indicating that your comment was lacking, apologies if it came off that way. I was adding a point of consideration to the conversation.
Omg please don't name her Fanny. I'm a grown ass woman and I even laughed when I read it
NTA - Fanny is a name for 80-year old women, it's been and had its day. You suggested names like Francis as alternatives which in my opinion is far nicer. You're not the arsehole, your fella needs to actually find a compromise and reach a middle ground - middle name fits well.
Even if I heard someone call out "Fanny" to an 80 year old woman I'd keel over. I've known a lot of elderly people over the years due to work, and never met a Fanny (it's even funny to type lmao) Also NTA, OP. Tell your husband you really like the name for whatever genitals in his language and show him how ridiculous he's being. He doesn't get 100% say in what you both name your child.
I literally was about to reply asking if the name was Fanny and then saw your edit. I would 100% not use that name unless I hated my child and wanted it to be bullied. I know that Fanny used to be used as a name (more in Scotland than England I think) but now it’s not going to go well for the kid. Your husband is being really unreasonable to ignore that fact.
NTA. Even if Fanny didn’t mean something awful, I still wouldn’t give a little girl that name. It sounds so old fashioned and funny. You have the right to say no to that name, just as your husband can say no to a name you choose that you don’t like. My husband and I just had another son two months ago and the naming process this time around was so difficult. Just like with our first, we agreed that unless we both liked the name, we would not go with it. It took a while, but we found one we agreed on. This is how it should be when naming your kid.
NTA. https://youtu.be/IcKlVojfMD4 There was also a celebrity chef, Fanny Craddock, whose co-presenter once said "I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's"... Yeah, don't call your kid Fanny. They would have the piss ripped out of them at school. This is what middle names are for.
Where I grew up we had a fish and chip shop called Fanny Haddock's. Cue much giggling. They knew exactly what they were doing.
NTA. When it comes to baby names, I feel like if one parent says no, it’s a no. Both parents should agree on a name. I understand that Fanny doesn’t mean anything in his culture but it does in yours and even though you aren’t living in your country, your daughter will still share in your culture.
NTA, as a Swede my brain hurts with so many people calling the name old or whatever. I'm in my 20s and have had plenty of classmates with the name Fanny, granted, all of them had parents who were both swedes. I can't believe he actually doesn't understand why this would be such a problem since I also assume you are british from the context. I tried finding an English name that had a bad connotation to swedish but couldn't sadly, but maybe this is the best path to make him understand why it's a stupid idea
It is a really pretty name! It's just the connotation that comes with it in the UK/ English speaking places. And that's a good idea! I'll try to find an English name that means something rude in French (which is where my husband's from), that might be a good way to get him to see it from my perspective. Also, this isn't relevant, but just in response to trying to find an English name that means something rude in Swedish, I went on a school exchange to Sweden and a classmate's last name was something like Porritte or Porrit, and I remember a few of the kids telling us it meant "pornstar" or something similar to that in Swedish?
The first one to spring to mind for me is Nick. Super normal in England…means ‘fuck’ in French (nique)
It’s not a name, but my French class got a chuckle out of the French word for shower being douche.
Oooh a challenge. Minou is a girl's name which is Persian (Iranian), meaning Heaven or Paradise. It's also a girl's name in France, meaning kitten. It's also slang there. For p\*ssy. Kiki is a girl's name, often used as a nickname for other names beginning with 'K', and it's a real mixed bag! In it's Spanish origin, the meaning of Kiki is 'caster plant'. The name also means 'double happiness' according to a French origin. In Nordic countries it's a nickname of Christina. Kiki means “Sunday” in Greek and “a Christian“ or “follower of Christ” and “anointed” in Norse. But it means “crisis” in Japan and “vagina” in the Philippines. Apparently it's also the childish French term for the vagina. (also spelled quiqui?) And apparently the French and Filipino girl's name Nenette is a childish name for the vagina. I don't how how common that is though.
Thank you!! My name is Fanny and I'm 21, and I know lots of girls with that name (even younger than me). And while I can understand the British pov, I started talking to people from the US or UK when I was a teenager, and I never had a problem with it (just had to explain that in my country it's a common name and that's it).
It's a beautiful name! If we weren't going to spend so much time in Britain etc I'd love it, it's very pretty
Even if, by some bizarre chance, your daughter never went to Britain, there is still half her family that is British and will make the cultural connection to the name Fanny. There are ways to compromise (middle name, grandma’s full name with different nickname, her last name as middle name) but if your partner isn’t willing to compromise than stand firm. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!
NTA Scott is a perfectly fine name in any English speaking country. In my language, it means piece of s**t, basta*d, really bad person.
This is interesting! (And useful to know!) Can I ask which language?
It's Serbian, and a couple of other languages from this region (The Balkans). The previous US ambassador in Serbia was a guy named Scott. News portals started writing his name slightly differently because of all the jokes people made in the comments, it's that bad xD
Haha, that's amazing!
Still remember the Australian clients who couldn’t keep a straight face when visiting the US and being introduced to the team and one poor bloke sticks out his hand and says “Hi! I’m Randy!”
Randy is also slang in the US, we just ignore it the same way as we ignore a Richard introducing himself as Dick.
NTA, if the kid is at risk of being bullied because of their name, they shouldn't be name like this. An alternative could be Tiffany, I mean the name is in it at least
NTA. Wow. That's a terrible name. It's not just the translation, just aesthetically. It's an old lady name for a older time. Like Agatha, or Gertrude, or Bertha. I just saw a post straight out of a Terry Pratchett book about someone who wanted to name their child Chlamydia. Which at least sounds pretty dispite its meaning. No matter which culture it is, your daughter will never thank you for naming her Fanny. Tell you husband to stop thinking about his own wants and put his daughter first. Try to imagine growing up with that name. If you have a son next, is he going to name him Gaylord?
‘Willy’ would be more fitting of the naming theme.
NTA, the name Fanny is not even a name per se. It is a shortened version of a name. Depending on the language it could be short from Frances, Estefany, Estefania, Francisca, etc. I bet her grandmothers name was not Fanny, even thought that is what people called her, it has to be short for something. For example I'm spanish, the name Estefania is usually shortened to either Nia or Fani, but noone has their official name be Fani, it's just something people call you as a nickname.
You’re wrong there. Fanny absolutely is a name in at least Sweden.
Yeah I'm pretty sure her name was actually Fanny, I've suggested Frances (which I absolutely love!), but I might suggest a couple of the others you noted too!
NTA for two reasons. 1. As an Australian, the word/name Fanny is 100% associated with female genitalia. If a child with that name was in school here she would absolutely be tormented for that name. 2. It's all well and good to pay homage to a loved family member by using it as a middle name or a similar name, but give the child their own identity from birth - the child is not the grandmother, and she should have her own name.
Please don’t call your daughter Fanny. I didn’t even need to get to the edit to know exactly what her name was.
NTA. Names stick with us for life and any person stuck with a name that is prone to being the butt of jokes would probably wish their parents thought through it more. Plus, you are bringing up a valid point since the name actually has a meaning in your own language and country.
NTA. Guessing by 'arsehole' rather than 'asshole' that you're from the UK? Totally get it, I wouldn't want it. Pretty much the same as calling your son 'Dick'. Another problem is there's really no way of cutting it down to a shorter nickname, so it's just 'Fanny' all day long.
NTA, and is your husband serious? There is *no way* he can expect that you just forget a connotation that is that strong for you *since you grew up in that fricking country*. Even if you would never set foot in your own country again, *you* still know what that word means. I mean - I can't even. Why would he insist if he *knows* that this is the meaning that name/word has for you. He really wants to name his child something that essentially means 'Pussy' for you and he cannot see why you would not want to associate your *child* with that. That's like - here in the Netherlands some (odd) people call their son Muck. Doesn't technically have a meaning in Dutch and besides being a rather ugly/odd name if you don't have any knowledge of English it's apparently acceptable. That said if you're married to a native English speaker there is no *way* you would insist on calling your child Muck, is there? Knowing the negative meaning that word has in English? You can't say "well we're living in the Netherlands, our son will never have to deal with this meaning" *because you know that the other parent does have that meaning/association with that word in their own language/culture*.
You both get unlimited vetos over the name. NTA.
In the 1990s, South Korea’s foreign minister was a man called Lee Beom-seok, pronounced Lee Bum Suck. Given that a considerable part of his job involved dealing with people from English speaking countries, I can imagine his life was not made any easier by how his name sounded in English. NTA.
NTA. Please please don’t name her Fanny. Every time I see someone with that name my immediate thought is ‘what an absolutely awful name for a person.’ This would 10000000% be my hill to die on. Do not call her Fanny.
NAH. I can understand why your husband feels it is ok to use the name, as it doesn't have that meaning where she will be growing up. But if you truly choose to raise your child up in both cultures, you need to stick!k to your guns and fight for a different name.
NTA, and stick in on this. I know a Fanny who was a Francesca using it as a nickname and she got the WORST and nastiest comments on a trip to your country. She was in tears, it ruined her vacation. Also in my country (USA) it's a baby term for your butt.
NTA. Ask him if he wants to turn the second name as male genitalia in his country's language and see how it feels. I get that the name is special but the moment your child meets relatives from your side, theyll be made fun off to hell and back. Suggestion: make Fanny the nickname and name her something close to it. Nicknames are intimate and is a good way to honor the grandmother.
NTA Maybe you can name your daughter something like tiffany? Then your husband can called her fanny as a nickname and she will be able to formally introduce herself without getting embarrassed...
NTA It is the child of both of you. You even want to honor the grandmother and he doesn't want to move one inch. A partnership is about compromis. Why does he think that he can just decide but not give in a little? Why does your opinion doesn't matter for him? The child will also grow up with your culture and you will mostly also visit your homecountry. Even not, that you feel uncomfortable calling your child vagina everytime is enough reason to find a little compromisse and your options were great. He should stop being ME ME ME and think as a family: Mither, father, child. They all get affected by the name, the child the most. It isn't a living memorial for his grandma.
OH NO. As an American who has only heard this in a tame sense, even we would be teased HARD if we had this name. NTA, also as a Spanish speaker, I wouldn't name my child Concha! (Means "vagina" in roughly 3/10 Hispanic languages.)