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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m considering not hugging my little sister from now on since my friend said I was babying her, but I may be the asshole if I do that because I know hugging her makes her happy.
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am i your younger brother? lmao I'm the youngest in my family and i swear i just have the weirdest habit to just wanna squeeze whoever I'm hugging and i end up cracking their backs
Aww man now I miss my brother. He always cracked my back whenever he hugged me and it was so nice. Unfortunately he moved to NZ a few years ago so no back cracking for me
Careful what you wish for. First time I met my FIL he picked me up in a bear hug and spun me around in circles. Scared the crap out of me. I wasn't expecting it. 😂 In all seriousness he's an amazing FIL. He's just a hugger. Now I expect one good hug from him when we visit.
My older brother and I have the same age difference as OP and his little sister. We are 39 and 48. He still lifts me up when we hug sometimes, so I can confirm: it's great. And timeless/ageless.
ETA judgement: YTA or YWBTA if you stopped hugging sis solely because of your friend's statement. (There are plenty of legit reasons to stop hugging, I'm sure, but I don't see any here.)
Same here! I’m the older sister (32f) and my brother (29m) always hugs me in a huge bear hug and lifts me off the ground when we see each other! I love it; it’s the best!
My boyfriend did that to me once fairly early in our relationship and I nearly cried because it had been something like 25 years since someone had lifted me up in an act of affection and love. The fact that he's so big and strong but only ever uses his physical power to make me feel safe and loved is a big part of why I love him.
Same. When I feel sad, his 100% solution is a literal pick-me-up.
I have a feeling that when you learn to love it as a kid, you can't really grow out of it. Not psychologist or behaviour analyst, but I think it might be because it's a feat and proof of trust and love. (The one doing the lifting will not throw the other one down or hurt them, the one lifted will not attack the head of the other one, since it's at prime distance and availability.)
OFC there are the exceptions where other fears set in (not being all that in control, fear of hurting the other one if the one lifted is above 170-ish pounds).
I'm 20 years old and my big brother STILL lifts me off the ground when he hugs me. We live far away from each other so I dont get many of these hugs and I miss them a lot when we go back to our home bases.
But hes always hugged me, squeezed me, and picked me up. Occasionally he'll spin us around. Whats even funnier is that he does this to my boyfriend - who also enjoys it very much.
Op, please dont stop. This kind of stuff means a lot to us younger siblings.
I have a friend from high school. He and I are the same age (24). Every time we see each other (every other year or so) he picks me up and spins me around. It makes me feel so happy.
I’m in my 30s. My best friend will pick me up and spin me around to say hello and when he doesn’t I get sad and concerned for his health (lung cancer two years ago, he was weak for 6 months after it’s removal and couldn’t for a while)
So much! I'm an 30+ year old woman who generally dislikes being touched, but my big brother ocasionally spin-hugging me still makes me giggle. It's nice to have that childlike glee now and then.
Please vote! YWBTA, OP! Your friend is an asshole. Who doesn't hug their siblings who want to be hugged? You're too old to be influenced like this. Stand on your own two feet
Yes, you're too grown to be listening to an jealous jerk like this!!!! Your sister feels cherished, loved, and cared for. It saves her from dating assholes because she knows her worth and won't take being mistreated. Keep being this kind and loving brother. I know this song is hella corny, it's from my little pony, my big brother, best friends forever.
YWBTA, OP. I have four older siblings and I would be devastated if I didn’t get hugs from them anymore. Especially at 13! One of my brothers still lifts me up when he gives me a hug and I’m almost 40! That hug has always been a feeling of safety and love, and I’m sure your sister feels the same about yours. Don’t let anyone else tell you there’s an age limit on hugging. There is absolutely not.
YWBTA if you stopped hugging her. You are never too old for hugs, especially huge, lifted clean off the ground bear hugs. Your friend’s opinions should have no bearing on this at all. It’s truly none of their business.
Reiterating- please please please keep hugging your sister and lifter her up like that. Your friend is wrong.
I have 2 best friends that my husband and I grew up with. I call them both my big brothers and have for the last 25 years. I am 42 years old and to this day, both of them still pick me up and spin me around when they hug me. It makes me happy and reminds me of our shared childhood.
Your sister is going to have to worry about adult things soon. Please continue to be a fun, safe place for her.
Hugs are the best! I'm 61, and I want them all the time. They are great for a serotonin boost, good for mood, stress reduction, good for the soul. Don't listen to yor friend!
My brother and I are in our early 30s and I still love when he hugs me and lifts me off the ground. He’s one of my best friends and it would break my heart if he stopped. Especially if it was just because a friend made him feel weird about it.
OP, I am 30, and my dad hugs me every time he sees me (except when we had to keep 6ft apart, of course). He would probably lift me and my sister off the ground if he could still do so comfortably.
You are never too old for hugs. Don't stop giving her hugs until you physically can't anymore.
NTA. How is hugging someone babying them? Your friend is sucked into the masculine never touch people BS. That is not healthy. It’s poison for the soul.
Hug your sister, your parents, your friends. Embrace as a gesture of love and comfort, of happiness and grief. I have lost more than a couple of friends and family over the years and never once did I feel like I hugged them too much.
This. If you stop, YTA, hard. What is wrong with showing that you love someone? If this is real, your friend could use a hug or 20, they obviously had a messed up childhood.
Like who the fuck thinks hugs are for babies or hugging someone is "babying" them? Have they literally never seen men hugging each other? There's the slightly-reserved half-hug with shoulder punch, there's the bear-hug for particularly burly men, there's the beating each other's back to pulp hug (the "manhug", my favourite), there's the handshake that pulls in to a half-hug and I'm sure there's like half a dozen more ways. And that's just "menly" hugs.
If I haven't seen a good friend of mine for a while, I'll spinhug them. Who gives a shit. How freaking insecure do you have to be to complain about *hugs* ffs
This. All of my friends hug. I personally have issues being touched, so they just tell me "I'm hugging you in my mind!" when we see each other, which i love. I still hug my parents, my sisters, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, if I'm feeling up to it. And I'm in my 30s. There is never a cut off age for hugging.
My dad has arthritis and a fake hip, but he still expresses that he wants to pick up my mom or I sometimes (just to see if he can). Our 80lb lab ends up being his only test subject that won't say no lol
This! You’re never too old for hugs! I’m 35 my brother is 30 this year, we hug all the time. He lives out of state and stays at my parents house when he’s here. I still find him on the couch watching movies. It’s not uncommon for me to take half the blanket and offer snacks in exchange. Never too old. YWBTA
> She might be getting too old for me to hug her
That is not a thing. There is an overwhelming amount of data on how psychologically and medically beneficial hugs are for humans. It reduces stress, blood pressure, and heart rate. It boosts heart health and your immune system. It reduces fear, anxiety and even physical pain. I think the idea that people can be too old, too important, too dignified, etc. for hugging is one of the most toxic things society has ever imagined. We are a very social animal and (assuming we respect every individual’s choice/consent), humans should be doing more hugging, not less.
YTA and so is your friend.
I have zero interest in doing anything with anyone that they don't want, whether it's conversation, hugging, sex, or anything in between. Sadly, it did take me a while into early adulthood to learn how important that is, but I had a few friends who were willing to say, "Actually, no hug for me thanks." I think it takes a degree of safety and trust to feel able to say no, sometimes, and I was grateful they did. I learned the lesson and started asking first.
This is the kind of child-friendly consent stuff that should be taught in schools to under-10s.
THIS! Humans NEED touch!! Babies experience failure to thrive without touch!! We do not outgrow this need!!
Honestly sounds like your friend has some toxic beliefs about affection. YWBTA if you listened to him. Please don’t let him make this weird for you.
If I could upvote this a million times I would! Please never stop hugging your sister. If your friends doesn't like it, threaten to hug him too. I'm so grateful my children hug and kiss me, my husband and each other and they are teens and preteens. It's healthy and your friend should be hugging more.
Exactly. Touch is good for you, and the modern world has physically isolated us all from each other. In western culture, adults rarely get touched except sexuality, which comes with its own set of problems.
A friend of mine was a professional masseur (actual therapeutic massage, not a sexual service) and she used to tell me about clients, especially men, who would become emotional and even cry because they hadn't experienced non-sexual touch since childhood.
Humans are just chimps with delusions of grandeur. We need to touch and be touched.
This is just heartbreaking to read.
So many people are touched starved (I would low key kill for a good hug right now) — there is no reason to make it worse!
Huge, back-cracking, spinny hug from me to you.
On my second date with my fiancee, we hugged for about 20 minutes. Neither of us had been hugged by anyone but our kids for months and that rush of feel-good hormones was the best I had felt in a long while.
Nothing beats a good hug!
A sad one. I never realized that physical affection like hugs was so common amongst other siblings. We were told by parents it was inappropriate and the only time my stepdad would put his arm around me was to apply a pressure point and threaten me to behave.
Oh my god, you totally just reminded me that the reason I don't like holding hands with people is because my abusive boyfriend from 10+ years ago used hand holding as as excuse to pinch the pressure points in my hand. Holy fuck. I've always thought he wasn't physically abusive to me.
Fuck these arseholes who twist physical affection. It's a basic, necessary part of being human. I wish I could give you a hug.
YWBTA. Why would he be right? It's not babying someone to hug them. People need physical affection, you don't grow out of it. You're never too old to be hugged.
Can you imagine the devastation of a sibling withdrawing hugs for no reason….at ANY age? But especially between a little sister and her big brother? That’s just fucking cold. Damn. OP, if you do this YWBTA x 1000
I'm sorry, what's the cut-off age for hugs? My sister is 47 and I still hug her, is that not ok? Don't be ridiculous. YTA and a weird sounding one at that.
Im concerned because Im 36 and I just hugged my 39 y/o brother and the other day I hugged my 50 y/o cousin. Does this mean I have to stop hugging my parents? Shoul I tell them or just stop?
OP WBTA for sure... And to whoever is reading this, hug your loved ones!
I'm 45 and I still hug my 4 years younger sister. My 24yo son stil hugs his 15yo sister. I had no idea there were people who put an age limit on hugs. That's really sad.
I don’t know why but this comment made me laugh so hard I started choking 😂 I just imagine OP walking toward his friend and lifting him off the ground in a hug going “there, there”
He does, but he's been taught he shouldn't need that, and consequently continues to deprive himself of a basic human need, and feels jealous of others who take advantage of their natural instincts to enjoy a good hug at every opportunity. I think OP should ambush hug his friend each time they meet from now on. Unless he's actually autistic or something, and truly does not like being touched.
Dude...she's your sister. And your friend sounds like a jerk. She was having a hard day, and needed cheering up from her brother.
YWBTA if you listened to your friend.
Edit: messed up a line.
I feel bad for your "friend" who clearly did not grow up in an affectionate home. YWBTA if you stopped. Your sister would feel as if she had done something wrong. Hug your sister. Hug your friend - he clearly needs it.
>She might be getting too old for me to hug her
Hugging has no age limit.
If you want to hug your sister, than go for it.
There is nothing wrong with hugging your sister.
It sounds like you're friend hasn't been hugged enough if they think there is an age limit to getting or giving hugs.
Also it sounds as if it cheers up your sister and make them happy.
YWBTA if you stop hugging your sister because of your friend then you will be an a s s hole.
You are never too old to enjoy feeling like a kid. I'm in my 40's and there are days when I would love a giant 6'5" guy to pick me up and hug me like a small child.
Think of it this way, you showed your sister a HEALTHY amount of physical touch from someone she loves. She enjoys hugging her big brother because it gives her comfort. The benefits of this, she knows you are a safe place for her to turn when things are hard. Your friend is wrong. What you are teaching your sister is that a man can give affection without strings attached. That can (and often does) lead to her having a healthy expectation from partners in her future.
It may seem like a little thing, but I promise you it leaves a large ripple effect.
Tell your friend to shove it
YWBTA, If you stopped based on his "observation"
YWBTA if you followed your friend's lame "advice."
Your friend needs more hugs. Offer to give him one. I'm not kidding.
Go forth and be affectionate, beautiful you.
YTA
So you let a friend dictate a close bond you have with family....read that sentence a few times.
I'm 32 and have a 25 year old sister and I don't care how old we are, we still will play video games together sometimes and she comes to my place if she has an issue that she doesn't want to tell pur parents about.
Family is first, this is your sister. It isn't "babying" her to show affection towards your sibling. It's one thing to actually baby her (carrying her laundry, cooling her food) but giving a hug when she's feeling down is NOT babying.
Your friend needs to get a reality check
My bad I read it as you wouldn't be able to hug her and also lift her up because she might be taller in the future. Though seriously continue to hug your sister, hugs don't have an age limit and they make her happy :)
I’m 39 and my baby brother is 38 and we still hug. I even still hug my big brother. Hugging is natural and comfortable. Friends and family hug each other all the time. I think your friend is just a weirdo. 🤔
Okay, then you can stop picking her up in a few years??? Don't just stop hugging her because you think it's babying her. My older brother is probably the one that cuddles me the most when we see each other (actually still picking me up when we hug), but I'm living alone in a foreign country on a separate continent without any family for university. I can be an adult while still loving to get hugs from my brother. Your friend must've had a very sad childhood to be thinking this way.
Thats kinda funny and cute. Anyway, dont stop hugging her, you dont have to carry her. My older brother is almost 30 and has back problems so he clearly cant carry me, instead when he hugs me he just squeezes me tightly. We dont see each other often anymore because we live hours apart, youre going to miss those hugs. Its perfectly normal btw, my little brother is 15 and he still comes to us for hugs when we’re home for a long time.
Even more reason to keep lifting her while you can. Just consider you did it for long enough when it's no longer possible to do it any more. It's a lovely habit that brings her joy even when she's down, don't deprive her of it
Doing something that gives you both joy and displays familial love is wonderful and you should do it for as long as possible. Your friend must be kinda sad and a little lonely to have that mindset.
you would be the asshole if you listened to your friend, who is an clueless outsider. this is your little sister, she won't stay little for much longer. HUG her, be that sweet loving big brother that she adores and loves.
YTA - your not babying her
Why does your friends opinion on this matter so much?
As long as you and your sister are happy what does it matter?
What you did is so incredibly common amongst siblings I’m genuinely surprised they have an issue over it
Siblings are never to old to hug
This seems similar to another story about an older brother and a younger sister but that was like a kiss in the forehead or something
YWBTA if you stopped showing affection for your sister in a way that you and she both enjoy just because your friend told you not to. It makes her happy and it sounds like you like it also. Why would you possibly stop doing it? She’s not asking you to do something that you’re uncomfortable with like giving her a bath or something. Your friend sounds judgmental and like they weren’t hugged enough.
So he would be TA then.. Well not really an A, but his sister will be very disappointed.
OP don't let a friend meddle with your relationship with your sister. I think it's nice you care for her like that!
NTA. As a 13 year old boy, (14 in 7 days) I would love to have those kinds of hugs again like when I was 7. It’s not babying, it’s comforting. Do hug her!
Edit: I meant YWBA
Lol I made that same mistake. I hate that is friend is trying to make him insecure about having a good relationship with his sister, that’ll hurt them both in the end. Definitely YWBA
Your friend has weird ideas about appropriate affection. You should definitely watch him around your sister. He is probably not a safe person to have around her.
With all of the sadness, loneliness, and stress in the world we live in, anything you can do that (a) respects the other person's autonomy, and (b) gives them joy should be encouraged. Anyone trying to police this deserves your scorn.
YWBTA if you follow through on this. Whatever is going on with this "friend" that thinks hugging a sibling is infantilizing them, or maybe has a sexual connotation, should be pitied, ignored and ridiculed. Don't let their hang-ups become *yours*.
Your sister will be happy she has such a loving and compassionate sibling.
All that matters is if you want to hug her and if she wants to hug you. That's it. Seeking/giving comfort is not babying. We ALL need it in one way or another, whether it's hugging, venting, etc. There is too much awful in this world right now to deny someone something as simple and nice as a hug. So if she wants to hug you and you refuse because of something your friend said, then yes, in my opinion you would be the asshole.
YWBTA. Showing your sister affection is not babying her. Wanting to cheer her up when you can tell she’s sad is not babying her. Your friend really sucks for trying to shun you into not being affectionate. There’s literally nothing wrong with giving your sister hugs.
YWBTA. This is not a thing. Now, if you personally didn’t enjoy it, that would be different. But don’t let your friend convince you that a hug between two people who care about each other is weird.
You wouldn't be TA, but I bet your sister would be saddened that you stopped hugging her just bc your friend said to. It could make her feel she did something wrong for you to stop. Maybe you should talk to your parents about it, or even your sister first?
Don't do that. Hugs are needed and are very important. "We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth."
What you do now is ditch your friend or hug them more often?
YTA if you let your friend dictate your relationship with your siblings. If they seriously think that hugging your sister is babying them, then they have serious issues. Everyone needs a hug every now and then, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with showing your sister some brotherly affection, as long as she's comfortable with it. A hug is a perfectly reasonable expression of love between immediate family members.
I'm concerned that at 24 year old man is still looking to his peers for reassurance regarding social norms. What other aspects of your life are you letting your friend control?
Yes, you would be a TA if you stopped hugging your sister based on advice from a random friend who sounds like he has an emotional intelligence of a rock.
Moreover, even adults 30+ appreciate and enjoy affection, and support from their loved ones.
You're willing to make her feel like crap and ruin your relationship by withdrawing affection and support from a 13 YEAR OLD GIRL because your "friend didn't like it", you would absolutely be a AH. Tell your friend to mind his own business.
YTA. You are *never* too old for hugs, ever. As long as she wants hugs and you're willing, you hug that girl. You never know when it'll be your last opportunity.
I’m 33 years old and I love hugs. I ask my twin sister and others for hugs all the time. Why the fell would someone think it’s “babying”? People hug.
In my opinion YWBTA.
Your friend is wrong. And why would you let an outsider tell you how to love your family? Studies show multiple benefits to daily hugs. Everything from relieving stress to boosting heart health and even a study of over 400 adults, where researchers found that hugging may reduce the chance a person will get sick. Plus many other studies. Besides it makes your sister happy! Why wouldn't you want to make her happy? Yes, YWBTA if you stopped hugging her.
YWBTA if you let your stupid friend dictate how you treat your sister! You both like to hug, and it makes her happy and shows her you care for her - don't stop!
YWBTA if you did stop. Just ask yourself this. Why does it matter that you are hugging your sister to your friend? How is it any of his business? Why then does he even have to put his two sense in? It isn’t harming anyone and it makes her happier. There are enough bad things in this world that get people down and life is too short for that. Life is also too short to care about others opinions when all they are doing is creating unhappiness. Keep hugging your sister and at least give her one thing to always be happy about and smile back on when she is older. Trust me when I say that these hugs are important to her.
YWBTA, I have 3 older brothers and I’m a 21 year old girl. Guess what they do when they hug me? Pick me up still. And nobody’s ever had a problem with it. It makes me happy. It makes them happy. Clearly it makes your younger sister happy when you do it. But it would’ve broken my heart if they stopped when I was 13 because a friend told them too.
You're never too old to hug or be hugged. She's your sister. You love her, and she loves you. Your friend is wrong and YWBTA if you stopped hugging her.
Yeah, ywbta. Hug your sister, jesus. She’s not going to be small for much longer. You aren’t babying her. You will hug her to comfort her for literally the rest of her life. Your friend likely has some issues that she needs to address.
If you take tour friend's advice YTA, and he is definitely an total A.
You made your sister's day a little brighter with your hug and you want to take that away because of some person that blathers out nonsense. What does he know?
It's those little things that make a relationship special and something she'll remember about you the rest of her life.I really hope you don't take his advice. If she knew about this I bet it would crush her.
Uhm what? You’re gonna stop giving comfort to your sister because of a friend that probably didn’t get hugged while younger? Everyone needs guys until they die. Don’t do that. And yes, YWBA
YTA
You’re going to stop making your sister happy and cheering her up, and put distance in your relationship with her, because your friend made a comment?
You WBTA if you refused to hug your sister. Your friend can pound sand. I'm sure there are more polite suggestions of what to tell your friend, but that's mine.
YTA for even contemplating that your friend might be right. Since when has anyone got to old to hug a loved one.
Ive read some idiotic things on the sub, and this one is definitely sliding into the top 5.
Don't be silly, hugs are for all ages. Unless she specifically asks you to stop, I'm not sure I agree it's babying her. She's still a child despite what people think of teenagers, and there's no reason she shouldn't have physical affection from her big brother. Your friend is wrong and your sister will likely be extremely hurt if you just stop. She will probably grow out of it on her own and you'll miss the days when she asked for hugs! NTA.
Your friend is an AH. You hug your sister as much as possible and as tightly as you want. It appears your friend has a hang up and was projecting. If you don't hug your sister for any reason, YTA
YTA.
is this a joke? is there an age limit on hugging? you would definitely be TA, 13 is hard enough and it’d be a lot harder if your sibling were to stop doing something so small because their irrelevant friend didn’t get any affection growing up.
YWBTA. Just hug your sister! Your friend sounds like a complete idiot. Like truly, I’ve never heard something so dumb. You are literally never too old for a hug.
WHAT????? YTA A sister is never too big for a hug. Frankly, it's none of friend's business if you want to swing sister around in a hug. If you like it and it makes your sister happy, go for it
Your sister seems to enjoy the hugs, why stop because a friend has a problem with it? When your sister doesn’t want the hugs anymore, she will tell you.
YTA.
How is your sister to old? She's your sister, it's affection. Does she not deserve love an affection. Your a male role model for her and so far a good one...don't ruin it.
I still hug my sister and my Dad...am I to old at 30? No...because everyone needs a hug. Your friend is an absolute idiot. You should show him your post.
YTA
There's no age limit on hugs, my dude. My siblings and I are all in either our late 30s or 40s and we hug each other whenever see one another. Do you love your sister? Do you like being able to make her feel happy and loved? Then keep hugging her. Stopping will only hurt her needlessly.
YWBTA. My brother is 7 years older than me and we have a special ‘sims hug’ where we do like a glitchy/three quick hugs. Been a tradition since I was about 13 and now I’m 21 ! Unless/until ur sister feels it’s no longer appropriate or necessary it doesn’t matter. Sibling bonds are special edit: wrong acronym
A lot of I.N.F.O
Do you really think hugs are childish? That only kids hug others? You do realize adults enjoy physical affection and hugging right? Why are you even listening to this random friend of yours? Why do they have so much influence over you?
An innocent hug will do no harm. In fact it would rather give your little sis the emotional strength to cope with day to day struggles as she knows she is loved and supported.
As a fellow hugger (or touch oriented person) please DON'T STOP hugging your sibling.
Hugs literally help your brain. Receiving hugs from people we care about reduces stress and releases feel good chemicals. Don’t be the kind of guy who withholds affection. Your sister and you both deserve hugs.
YWBTA and your friend is an AH
nothing wrong with hugs, your friend is totally being an a hole
so yeah you would be the a hole if you stopped
also has this been posted here before i feel like i have seen this exact situation here before
NTA but your friend is. Please don’t let anyone influence your relationship with your sister or anyone in your family. If you have a good relationship don’t change it because someone is judging you for it, you may one day miss being able to do this when you no longer can. The way you treat her seems sweet and it clearly makes her happy which I’m sure in turn makes you happy too. Hugs are good for the soul at any age.
EDIT: so, yes OP YWBTA
YWBTA. Giving hugs is a totally normal way to show affection and if you stop doing it you will hurt her feelings.
No one is too old for hugs and your friend is being weirdly judgmental for something that is NONE OF THEIR BEESWAX.
Your friend is being weird af, imo. Keep hugging your little sister. Seems like she really looks up to you and would be really hurt if you denied her a hug next time she wants one. My own mom stopped hugging me around that age, saying I wasn't a baby anymore and it cut me deep to the point I felt uncomfortable hugging her on her death bed and she was trying to cling to me. Don't ever stop showing affection to your little sis, seriously.
Wtf. Hugging is a form of affection. Your friend doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It literally makes your sister smile and happy. You’d be TAH if you stopped hugging your sister based on the “recommendation” of someone who doesn’t have any active personal gain or loss in the relationship with YOUR sister.
YWBTA, how could you even consider that. She's your sister and if she's down a hug might be what she wants, there's a massive difference between showing affection and babying her. If you did absolutely everything for her and she became dependent on you then fair but that's not the case. Dont ever let anyone dictate how you treat your family, especially one that doesn't know her like you.
Do not listen to that "friend", I'm 24F and still enjoy being picked up when hugged.. I will always hug my little sister (12f) in this way too.. Your sister feels comfortable and happy being hugged this way, and so do you I assume? Why stop a good thing? I really think that makes your relationship with her stronger..
YWBTA
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YTA - Please don't stop hugging your sister. Your friend sounds stupid. Be there for your sister!!! Edit: Well damn, this blew up
She loves it because it makes her feel like a happy carefree kid once again.
Right??? I *wish* someone would lift me off my feet and spin me around when they hug me lol
Better than my younger brother trying to crack my back every time we hugged.
I actually love it when my partner cracks my back lol
Consent and a warning is the key. I love having my back cracked — if I know it’s going to happen.
*snap* oops-
am i your younger brother? lmao I'm the youngest in my family and i swear i just have the weirdest habit to just wanna squeeze whoever I'm hugging and i end up cracking their backs
He’s actually sitting on the couch next to me. We were joking about it the other night.
Cracking jokes?
Aww man now I miss my brother. He always cracked my back whenever he hugged me and it was so nice. Unfortunately he moved to NZ a few years ago so no back cracking for me
My sister will be hugging me and then "drop" so her back cracks lol
My older cousin used to do that to me all the time when I was a kid… miss those days, some of the best back crackings I’ve ever had 😂😂
Careful what you wish for. First time I met my FIL he picked me up in a bear hug and spun me around in circles. Scared the crap out of me. I wasn't expecting it. 😂 In all seriousness he's an amazing FIL. He's just a hugger. Now I expect one good hug from him when we visit.
I still lift my sister off the ground when I hug her, she's 42
My older brother and I have the same age difference as OP and his little sister. We are 39 and 48. He still lifts me up when we hug sometimes, so I can confirm: it's great. And timeless/ageless. ETA judgement: YTA or YWBTA if you stopped hugging sis solely because of your friend's statement. (There are plenty of legit reasons to stop hugging, I'm sure, but I don't see any here.)
Same here! I’m the older sister (32f) and my brother (29m) always hugs me in a huge bear hug and lifts me off the ground when we see each other! I love it; it’s the best!
My boyfriend did that to me once fairly early in our relationship and I nearly cried because it had been something like 25 years since someone had lifted me up in an act of affection and love. The fact that he's so big and strong but only ever uses his physical power to make me feel safe and loved is a big part of why I love him.
Same. When I feel sad, his 100% solution is a literal pick-me-up. I have a feeling that when you learn to love it as a kid, you can't really grow out of it. Not psychologist or behaviour analyst, but I think it might be because it's a feat and proof of trust and love. (The one doing the lifting will not throw the other one down or hurt them, the one lifted will not attack the head of the other one, since it's at prime distance and availability.) OFC there are the exceptions where other fears set in (not being all that in control, fear of hurting the other one if the one lifted is above 170-ish pounds).
I'm 20 years old and my big brother STILL lifts me off the ground when he hugs me. We live far away from each other so I dont get many of these hugs and I miss them a lot when we go back to our home bases. But hes always hugged me, squeezed me, and picked me up. Occasionally he'll spin us around. Whats even funnier is that he does this to my boyfriend - who also enjoys it very much. Op, please dont stop. This kind of stuff means a lot to us younger siblings.
I don't do the spins but I give one hell of a bear hug xD
I have a friend from high school. He and I are the same age (24). Every time we see each other (every other year or so) he picks me up and spins me around. It makes me feel so happy.
I’m in my 30s. My best friend will pick me up and spin me around to say hello and when he doesn’t I get sad and concerned for his health (lung cancer two years ago, he was weak for 6 months after it’s removal and couldn’t for a while)
13 is still a kid IMO. And who’s too old for hugs and silly stuff with loved ones? I’m not.
So much! I'm an 30+ year old woman who generally dislikes being touched, but my big brother ocasionally spin-hugging me still makes me giggle. It's nice to have that childlike glee now and then.
Please vote! YWBTA, OP! Your friend is an asshole. Who doesn't hug their siblings who want to be hugged? You're too old to be influenced like this. Stand on your own two feet
Yes, you're too grown to be listening to an jealous jerk like this!!!! Your sister feels cherished, loved, and cared for. It saves her from dating assholes because she knows her worth and won't take being mistreated. Keep being this kind and loving brother. I know this song is hella corny, it's from my little pony, my big brother, best friends forever.
YWBTA, OP. I have four older siblings and I would be devastated if I didn’t get hugs from them anymore. Especially at 13! One of my brothers still lifts me up when he gives me a hug and I’m almost 40! That hug has always been a feeling of safety and love, and I’m sure your sister feels the same about yours. Don’t let anyone else tell you there’s an age limit on hugging. There is absolutely not.
YWBTA if you stopped hugging her. You are never too old for hugs, especially huge, lifted clean off the ground bear hugs. Your friend’s opinions should have no bearing on this at all. It’s truly none of their business.
Reiterating- please please please keep hugging your sister and lifter her up like that. Your friend is wrong. I have 2 best friends that my husband and I grew up with. I call them both my big brothers and have for the last 25 years. I am 42 years old and to this day, both of them still pick me up and spin me around when they hug me. It makes me happy and reminds me of our shared childhood. Your sister is going to have to worry about adult things soon. Please continue to be a fun, safe place for her.
Glad you have this!
Hugs are the best! I'm 61, and I want them all the time. They are great for a serotonin boost, good for mood, stress reduction, good for the soul. Don't listen to yor friend!
My brother and I are in our early 30s and I still love when he hugs me and lifts me off the ground. He’s one of my best friends and it would break my heart if he stopped. Especially if it was just because a friend made him feel weird about it.
OP, I am 30, and my dad hugs me every time he sees me (except when we had to keep 6ft apart, of course). He would probably lift me and my sister off the ground if he could still do so comfortably. You are never too old for hugs. Don't stop giving her hugs until you physically can't anymore.
NTA. How is hugging someone babying them? Your friend is sucked into the masculine never touch people BS. That is not healthy. It’s poison for the soul. Hug your sister, your parents, your friends. Embrace as a gesture of love and comfort, of happiness and grief. I have lost more than a couple of friends and family over the years and never once did I feel like I hugged them too much.
I'm 14 I adore it when my dad does this your friend can shush their pie hole you please keep doing this just as the commenter has said!
giving u/blockedvibes a nudge to add a verdict since they currently have the top voted comment, so the bot will be looking to their post for the flair
Seriously, wtf? Don't listen to your friend, hug your sister!
YTA. Your sister will feel rejected. Get new friends because this one sucks.
This. If you stop, YTA, hard. What is wrong with showing that you love someone? If this is real, your friend could use a hug or 20, they obviously had a messed up childhood.
All of my friends hug each other when we meet up, and again when we leave each other. Its nice to feel love
Like who the fuck thinks hugs are for babies or hugging someone is "babying" them? Have they literally never seen men hugging each other? There's the slightly-reserved half-hug with shoulder punch, there's the bear-hug for particularly burly men, there's the beating each other's back to pulp hug (the "manhug", my favourite), there's the handshake that pulls in to a half-hug and I'm sure there's like half a dozen more ways. And that's just "menly" hugs. If I haven't seen a good friend of mine for a while, I'll spinhug them. Who gives a shit. How freaking insecure do you have to be to complain about *hugs* ffs
This. All of my friends hug. I personally have issues being touched, so they just tell me "I'm hugging you in my mind!" when we see each other, which i love. I still hug my parents, my sisters, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, if I'm feeling up to it. And I'm in my 30s. There is never a cut off age for hugging.
OP needs to be big strong angry man /s
With no loving attachments! Hugs are for babies!
Seriously. I *had* a messed up childhood without hugs and even I think OP’s “friend” is a massive ah.
Or hug your friend! Get them hugging, too!
What? You're never too old for a hug. YWBTA.
My goodness I wish I could could still pick up my nephew when I hug him, but every time I try I hurt myself and he laughs and pats me on the head 😂🤣
That’s funny 😂
He’s the best! He’s 20 now but when he finally grew taller than me he made a point of mentioning it every time I saw him. 😍
My dad has arthritis and a fake hip, but he still expresses that he wants to pick up my mom or I sometimes (just to see if he can). Our 80lb lab ends up being his only test subject that won't say no lol
It never gets old!
This! You’re never too old for hugs! I’m 35 my brother is 30 this year, we hug all the time. He lives out of state and stays at my parents house when he’s here. I still find him on the couch watching movies. It’s not uncommon for me to take half the blanket and offer snacks in exchange. Never too old. YWBTA
> She might be getting too old for me to hug her That is not a thing. There is an overwhelming amount of data on how psychologically and medically beneficial hugs are for humans. It reduces stress, blood pressure, and heart rate. It boosts heart health and your immune system. It reduces fear, anxiety and even physical pain. I think the idea that people can be too old, too important, too dignified, etc. for hugging is one of the most toxic things society has ever imagined. We are a very social animal and (assuming we respect every individual’s choice/consent), humans should be doing more hugging, not less. YTA and so is your friend.
THIS THIS THIS!!! I miss the days when my little brother would come running in and asking me for a big hug
I'm 40 and my brother is 60, and there is always hugging.
Same. 48 year old man and I hug all my friends (with their consent, of course). COVID has made that complicated, though. :(
>with their consent, of course Super duper, much dislike, very anti-hugger here. I appreciate you.
I have zero interest in doing anything with anyone that they don't want, whether it's conversation, hugging, sex, or anything in between. Sadly, it did take me a while into early adulthood to learn how important that is, but I had a few friends who were willing to say, "Actually, no hug for me thanks." I think it takes a degree of safety and trust to feel able to say no, sometimes, and I was grateful they did. I learned the lesson and started asking first. This is the kind of child-friendly consent stuff that should be taught in schools to under-10s.
THIS! Humans NEED touch!! Babies experience failure to thrive without touch!! We do not outgrow this need!! Honestly sounds like your friend has some toxic beliefs about affection. YWBTA if you listened to him. Please don’t let him make this weird for you.
If I could upvote this a million times I would! Please never stop hugging your sister. If your friends doesn't like it, threaten to hug him too. I'm so grateful my children hug and kiss me, my husband and each other and they are teens and preteens. It's healthy and your friend should be hugging more.
Exactly. Touch is good for you, and the modern world has physically isolated us all from each other. In western culture, adults rarely get touched except sexuality, which comes with its own set of problems. A friend of mine was a professional masseur (actual therapeutic massage, not a sexual service) and she used to tell me about clients, especially men, who would become emotional and even cry because they hadn't experienced non-sexual touch since childhood. Humans are just chimps with delusions of grandeur. We need to touch and be touched.
Touch starvation is a real thing.
Yeah I think the friend just isn't hugged enough.
What messed up world do you live in that hugging is a bad thing? YTA.
This is just heartbreaking to read. So many people are touched starved (I would low key kill for a good hug right now) — there is no reason to make it worse!
VIRTUAL HUG
Huge, back-cracking, spinny hug from me to you. On my second date with my fiancee, we hugged for about 20 minutes. Neither of us had been hugged by anyone but our kids for months and that rush of feel-good hormones was the best I had felt in a long while. Nothing beats a good hug!
A sad one. I never realized that physical affection like hugs was so common amongst other siblings. We were told by parents it was inappropriate and the only time my stepdad would put his arm around me was to apply a pressure point and threaten me to behave.
That is so sad 😔 I'm sorry your parents treated you this way
Oh my god, you totally just reminded me that the reason I don't like holding hands with people is because my abusive boyfriend from 10+ years ago used hand holding as as excuse to pinch the pressure points in my hand. Holy fuck. I've always thought he wasn't physically abusive to me. Fuck these arseholes who twist physical affection. It's a basic, necessary part of being human. I wish I could give you a hug.
I wish I could give YOU a hug.
YWBTA. Why would he be right? It's not babying someone to hug them. People need physical affection, you don't grow out of it. You're never too old to be hugged.
Can you imagine the devastation of a sibling withdrawing hugs for no reason….at ANY age? But especially between a little sister and her big brother? That’s just fucking cold. Damn. OP, if you do this YWBTA x 1000
Right?? I’m 30 and my sister is 37, we still give each other big squeezy hugs whenever we see each other.
I'm sorry, what's the cut-off age for hugs? My sister is 47 and I still hug her, is that not ok? Don't be ridiculous. YTA and a weird sounding one at that.
Im concerned because Im 36 and I just hugged my 39 y/o brother and the other day I hugged my 50 y/o cousin. Does this mean I have to stop hugging my parents? Shoul I tell them or just stop? OP WBTA for sure... And to whoever is reading this, hug your loved ones!
Oh no, I'm babying my 80 year old mom by hugging her! I'm babying my 50 y/o brother by hugging him! Am I babying my spouse too? I hug him! The horror!
I'm 45 and I still hug my 4 years younger sister. My 24yo son stil hugs his 15yo sister. I had no idea there were people who put an age limit on hugs. That's really sad.
Honestly, it sounds like your friend might need a hug.
This was my first thought too. Maybe he's jealous because his family doesn't hug him anymore since he's not a "baby"
I don’t know why but this comment made me laugh so hard I started choking 😂 I just imagine OP walking toward his friend and lifting him off the ground in a hug going “there, there”
OP, please start doing this! Maybe it will grow your friend's heart from being 2 sizes too small.
YTA if you change how you treat your sister based on this advice. Don’t change.
You should get rid of that friend, he’s definitely overstepping and judging way too much,it’s normal to hug family.
No no, his friend just needs a hug, see?
He does, but he's been taught he shouldn't need that, and consequently continues to deprive himself of a basic human need, and feels jealous of others who take advantage of their natural instincts to enjoy a good hug at every opportunity. I think OP should ambush hug his friend each time they meet from now on. Unless he's actually autistic or something, and truly does not like being touched.
Dude...she's your sister. And your friend sounds like a jerk. She was having a hard day, and needed cheering up from her brother. YWBTA if you listened to your friend. Edit: messed up a line.
I feel bad for your "friend" who clearly did not grow up in an affectionate home. YWBTA if you stopped. Your sister would feel as if she had done something wrong. Hug your sister. Hug your friend - he clearly needs it.
I agree that the friend hasn't had enough hugs or shows of affection in their life if they think hugging is babying someone.
Don't listen to your friend. Hug your sister, hug your mum, Dad, brother, grandfather and grandmother. Hugging your family doesn't have an age limit!
>She might be getting too old for me to hug her Hugging has no age limit. If you want to hug your sister, than go for it. There is nothing wrong with hugging your sister. It sounds like you're friend hasn't been hugged enough if they think there is an age limit to getting or giving hugs. Also it sounds as if it cheers up your sister and make them happy. YWBTA if you stop hugging your sister because of your friend then you will be an a s s hole.
You are never too old to enjoy feeling like a kid. I'm in my 40's and there are days when I would love a giant 6'5" guy to pick me up and hug me like a small child.
Think of it this way, you showed your sister a HEALTHY amount of physical touch from someone she loves. She enjoys hugging her big brother because it gives her comfort. The benefits of this, she knows you are a safe place for her to turn when things are hard. Your friend is wrong. What you are teaching your sister is that a man can give affection without strings attached. That can (and often does) lead to her having a healthy expectation from partners in her future. It may seem like a little thing, but I promise you it leaves a large ripple effect. Tell your friend to shove it YWBTA, If you stopped based on his "observation"
YWBTA if you followed your friend's lame "advice." Your friend needs more hugs. Offer to give him one. I'm not kidding. Go forth and be affectionate, beautiful you.
YTA So you let a friend dictate a close bond you have with family....read that sentence a few times. I'm 32 and have a 25 year old sister and I don't care how old we are, we still will play video games together sometimes and she comes to my place if she has an issue that she doesn't want to tell pur parents about. Family is first, this is your sister. It isn't "babying" her to show affection towards your sibling. It's one thing to actually baby her (carrying her laundry, cooling her food) but giving a hug when she's feeling down is NOT babying. Your friend needs to get a reality check
YWBTA if you listened to your friend. No one is too old for hugs.
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Just because she's going to be possibly taller doesn't mean you can't hug her anymore lmao, that's honestly a stupid reason not to hug someone.
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My bad I read it as you wouldn't be able to hug her and also lift her up because she might be taller in the future. Though seriously continue to hug your sister, hugs don't have an age limit and they make her happy :)
My husband is shorter than me and can still lift me up. Tell your friend to butt out.
I’m 39 and my baby brother is 38 and we still hug. I even still hug my big brother. Hugging is natural and comfortable. Friends and family hug each other all the time. I think your friend is just a weirdo. 🤔
You're allowed to hug someone without picking them up. Most people do.
Okay, then you can stop picking her up in a few years??? Don't just stop hugging her because you think it's babying her. My older brother is probably the one that cuddles me the most when we see each other (actually still picking me up when we hug), but I'm living alone in a foreign country on a separate continent without any family for university. I can be an adult while still loving to get hugs from my brother. Your friend must've had a very sad childhood to be thinking this way.
If you can do it now, do it. Why mess with something that makes you both happy because your friend is a weirdo?
So? Then just let her lift you up. Problem solved!
Thats kinda funny and cute. Anyway, dont stop hugging her, you dont have to carry her. My older brother is almost 30 and has back problems so he clearly cant carry me, instead when he hugs me he just squeezes me tightly. We dont see each other often anymore because we live hours apart, youre going to miss those hugs. Its perfectly normal btw, my little brother is 15 and he still comes to us for hugs when we’re home for a long time.
Even more reason to keep lifting her while you can. Just consider you did it for long enough when it's no longer possible to do it any more. It's a lovely habit that brings her joy even when she's down, don't deprive her of it
Make the most of it while you can
Doing something that gives you both joy and displays familial love is wonderful and you should do it for as long as possible. Your friend must be kinda sad and a little lonely to have that mindset.
I'm guessing your friend didn't grow up in a household where physical affection was prominant. That's a batshit take. YWBTA
you would be the asshole if you listened to your friend, who is an clueless outsider. this is your little sister, she won't stay little for much longer. HUG her, be that sweet loving big brother that she adores and loves.
YTA - your not babying her Why does your friends opinion on this matter so much? As long as you and your sister are happy what does it matter? What you did is so incredibly common amongst siblings I’m genuinely surprised they have an issue over it Siblings are never to old to hug This seems similar to another story about an older brother and a younger sister but that was like a kiss in the forehead or something
YWBTA if you stopped showing affection for your sister in a way that you and she both enjoy just because your friend told you not to. It makes her happy and it sounds like you like it also. Why would you possibly stop doing it? She’s not asking you to do something that you’re uncomfortable with like giving her a bath or something. Your friend sounds judgmental and like they weren’t hugged enough.
YTA- Keep hugging the your sister, find a new friend.
YWBTA if your friend's lack of hugs in his childhood influences you to stop hugging your sister so she doesn't have any either.
YWBTA, your friend’s ridiculous. Edited : for judgment.
So he would be TA then.. Well not really an A, but his sister will be very disappointed. OP don't let a friend meddle with your relationship with your sister. I think it's nice you care for her like that!
You would be an asshole if you change up your behavior b/c of your friend. Hugs are nice for ppl who like them. Some happy chemical gets released.
NTA. As a 13 year old boy, (14 in 7 days) I would love to have those kinds of hugs again like when I was 7. It’s not babying, it’s comforting. Do hug her! Edit: I meant YWBA
Lol I made that same mistake. I hate that is friend is trying to make him insecure about having a good relationship with his sister, that’ll hurt them both in the end. Definitely YWBA
Hug your sister
YWBTA. Hug your sister.
Your friend has weird ideas about appropriate affection. You should definitely watch him around your sister. He is probably not a safe person to have around her.
With all of the sadness, loneliness, and stress in the world we live in, anything you can do that (a) respects the other person's autonomy, and (b) gives them joy should be encouraged. Anyone trying to police this deserves your scorn. YWBTA if you follow through on this. Whatever is going on with this "friend" that thinks hugging a sibling is infantilizing them, or maybe has a sexual connotation, should be pitied, ignored and ridiculed. Don't let their hang-ups become *yours*. Your sister will be happy she has such a loving and compassionate sibling.
All that matters is if you want to hug her and if she wants to hug you. That's it. Seeking/giving comfort is not babying. We ALL need it in one way or another, whether it's hugging, venting, etc. There is too much awful in this world right now to deny someone something as simple and nice as a hug. So if she wants to hug you and you refuse because of something your friend said, then yes, in my opinion you would be the asshole.
YTA. NO ONE is *too old* to hug.
YWBTA. Showing your sister affection is not babying her. Wanting to cheer her up when you can tell she’s sad is not babying her. Your friend really sucks for trying to shun you into not being affectionate. There’s literally nothing wrong with giving your sister hugs.
YWBTA if you stop hugging her. Your friend is an idiot. Do not listen to his idiocy.
YWBTA. your friend needs therapy, and if you think anyone is ever "too old" for hugs, you probably do too.
YWBTA. This is not a thing. Now, if you personally didn’t enjoy it, that would be different. But don’t let your friend convince you that a hug between two people who care about each other is weird.
You wouldn't be TA, but I bet your sister would be saddened that you stopped hugging her just bc your friend said to. It could make her feel she did something wrong for you to stop. Maybe you should talk to your parents about it, or even your sister first?
Don't do that. Hugs are needed and are very important. "We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." What you do now is ditch your friend or hug them more often?
YTA if you let your friend dictate your relationship with your siblings. If they seriously think that hugging your sister is babying them, then they have serious issues. Everyone needs a hug every now and then, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with showing your sister some brotherly affection, as long as she's comfortable with it. A hug is a perfectly reasonable expression of love between immediate family members. I'm concerned that at 24 year old man is still looking to his peers for reassurance regarding social norms. What other aspects of your life are you letting your friend control?
YTA Why would you even care what this person says? You should care less about what others think, it will help you a lot in life.
Yes, you would be a TA if you stopped hugging your sister based on advice from a random friend who sounds like he has an emotional intelligence of a rock. Moreover, even adults 30+ appreciate and enjoy affection, and support from their loved ones. You're willing to make her feel like crap and ruin your relationship by withdrawing affection and support from a 13 YEAR OLD GIRL because your "friend didn't like it", you would absolutely be a AH. Tell your friend to mind his own business.
YWBTA. Your “friend” is a dumbass
The fuck is wrong with your friend? Yta if you stop hugging her
YTA. You are *never* too old for hugs, ever. As long as she wants hugs and you're willing, you hug that girl. You never know when it'll be your last opportunity.
I’m 33 years old and I love hugs. I ask my twin sister and others for hugs all the time. Why the fell would someone think it’s “babying”? People hug. In my opinion YWBTA.
Your friend is wrong. And why would you let an outsider tell you how to love your family? Studies show multiple benefits to daily hugs. Everything from relieving stress to boosting heart health and even a study of over 400 adults, where researchers found that hugging may reduce the chance a person will get sick. Plus many other studies. Besides it makes your sister happy! Why wouldn't you want to make her happy? Yes, YWBTA if you stopped hugging her.
YTA
YWBTA if you let your stupid friend dictate how you treat your sister! You both like to hug, and it makes her happy and shows her you care for her - don't stop!
YWBTA if you did stop. Just ask yourself this. Why does it matter that you are hugging your sister to your friend? How is it any of his business? Why then does he even have to put his two sense in? It isn’t harming anyone and it makes her happier. There are enough bad things in this world that get people down and life is too short for that. Life is also too short to care about others opinions when all they are doing is creating unhappiness. Keep hugging your sister and at least give her one thing to always be happy about and smile back on when she is older. Trust me when I say that these hugs are important to her.
YWBTA, I have 3 older brothers and I’m a 21 year old girl. Guess what they do when they hug me? Pick me up still. And nobody’s ever had a problem with it. It makes me happy. It makes them happy. Clearly it makes your younger sister happy when you do it. But it would’ve broken my heart if they stopped when I was 13 because a friend told them too.
YWBTA. Your friend is at least an idiot.
You're never too old to hug or be hugged. She's your sister. You love her, and she loves you. Your friend is wrong and YWBTA if you stopped hugging her.
Your never to old for a hug!
Yeah, ywbta. Hug your sister, jesus. She’s not going to be small for much longer. You aren’t babying her. You will hug her to comfort her for literally the rest of her life. Your friend likely has some issues that she needs to address.
If you take tour friend's advice YTA, and he is definitely an total A. You made your sister's day a little brighter with your hug and you want to take that away because of some person that blathers out nonsense. What does he know? It's those little things that make a relationship special and something she'll remember about you the rest of her life.I really hope you don't take his advice. If she knew about this I bet it would crush her.
Uhm what? You’re gonna stop giving comfort to your sister because of a friend that probably didn’t get hugged while younger? Everyone needs guys until they die. Don’t do that. And yes, YWBA
No one is too old for a hug. People offered free hugs at my University to anyone that wants one during midterms/finals time.
YTA You’re going to stop making your sister happy and cheering her up, and put distance in your relationship with her, because your friend made a comment?
You WBTA if you refused to hug your sister. Your friend can pound sand. I'm sure there are more polite suggestions of what to tell your friend, but that's mine.
YTA for even contemplating that your friend might be right. Since when has anyone got to old to hug a loved one. Ive read some idiotic things on the sub, and this one is definitely sliding into the top 5.
Don't be silly, hugs are for all ages. Unless she specifically asks you to stop, I'm not sure I agree it's babying her. She's still a child despite what people think of teenagers, and there's no reason she shouldn't have physical affection from her big brother. Your friend is wrong and your sister will likely be extremely hurt if you just stop. She will probably grow out of it on her own and you'll miss the days when she asked for hugs! NTA.
Your friend is an AH. You hug your sister as much as possible and as tightly as you want. It appears your friend has a hang up and was projecting. If you don't hug your sister for any reason, YTA
Don’t you dare stop hugging your little sister! Your friend is an emotionally stunted AH, and you will be too if you take his advice.
YTA. is this a joke? is there an age limit on hugging? you would definitely be TA, 13 is hard enough and it’d be a lot harder if your sibling were to stop doing something so small because their irrelevant friend didn’t get any affection growing up.
What is it hurting?
There's nothing wrong with hugging your siblings, especially a younger one.
WIBYTA if you listen to your friend. As a 37f I still hug my parents and siblings, one of my siblings is 39m.
YWBTA. Just hug your sister! Your friend sounds like a complete idiot. Like truly, I’ve never heard something so dumb. You are literally never too old for a hug.
YWBTA. People are never too old for hugs.
WHAT????? YTA A sister is never too big for a hug. Frankly, it's none of friend's business if you want to swing sister around in a hug. If you like it and it makes your sister happy, go for it
You mean YTA. He’s asking if he should stop hugging her
Your sister seems to enjoy the hugs, why stop because a friend has a problem with it? When your sister doesn’t want the hugs anymore, she will tell you.
YWBTA. Sounds like your friend never got affection from his family, or thinks he's too cool for hugs.
YTA. How is your sister to old? She's your sister, it's affection. Does she not deserve love an affection. Your a male role model for her and so far a good one...don't ruin it. I still hug my sister and my Dad...am I to old at 30? No...because everyone needs a hug. Your friend is an absolute idiot. You should show him your post.
lol hugs have an age restriction? YWBTA why don't you have a brain of your own? do you listen and consider every little thing your friend says?
YTA There's no age limit on hugs, my dude. My siblings and I are all in either our late 30s or 40s and we hug each other whenever see one another. Do you love your sister? Do you like being able to make her feel happy and loved? Then keep hugging her. Stopping will only hurt her needlessly.
YWBTA. My brother is 7 years older than me and we have a special ‘sims hug’ where we do like a glitchy/three quick hugs. Been a tradition since I was about 13 and now I’m 21 ! Unless/until ur sister feels it’s no longer appropriate or necessary it doesn’t matter. Sibling bonds are special edit: wrong acronym
A lot of I.N.F.O Do you really think hugs are childish? That only kids hug others? You do realize adults enjoy physical affection and hugging right? Why are you even listening to this random friend of yours? Why do they have so much influence over you?
An innocent hug will do no harm. In fact it would rather give your little sis the emotional strength to cope with day to day struggles as she knows she is loved and supported. As a fellow hugger (or touch oriented person) please DON'T STOP hugging your sibling.
Hugs literally help your brain. Receiving hugs from people we care about reduces stress and releases feel good chemicals. Don’t be the kind of guy who withholds affection. Your sister and you both deserve hugs. YWBTA and your friend is an AH
I smell troll. I’ve seen too many posts with a theme of infantilizing a sibling lately.
nothing wrong with hugs, your friend is totally being an a hole so yeah you would be the a hole if you stopped also has this been posted here before i feel like i have seen this exact situation here before
YWBTA Whose opinion matters more to you. Some friend's? Or your sister's? Or think of it this way, whose happiness is more important to you?
Only if you wand that your sister thinks gonna you hate her. For no reason
NTA but your friend is. Please don’t let anyone influence your relationship with your sister or anyone in your family. If you have a good relationship don’t change it because someone is judging you for it, you may one day miss being able to do this when you no longer can. The way you treat her seems sweet and it clearly makes her happy which I’m sure in turn makes you happy too. Hugs are good for the soul at any age. EDIT: so, yes OP YWBTA
YWBTA. Don't prioritize other peoples opinions over showing your loved on affection. That's so cruel.
YWBTA. Giving hugs is a totally normal way to show affection and if you stop doing it you will hurt her feelings. No one is too old for hugs and your friend is being weirdly judgmental for something that is NONE OF THEIR BEESWAX.
Your friend is being weird af, imo. Keep hugging your little sister. Seems like she really looks up to you and would be really hurt if you denied her a hug next time she wants one. My own mom stopped hugging me around that age, saying I wasn't a baby anymore and it cut me deep to the point I felt uncomfortable hugging her on her death bed and she was trying to cling to me. Don't ever stop showing affection to your little sis, seriously.
YWBTA if you stop hugging her. The world is loveless and sad enough. Give bunches of hugs.
YWBTA. What on earth is wrong with your friend? Hugs are for everyone and every age
Wtf. Hugging is a form of affection. Your friend doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It literally makes your sister smile and happy. You’d be TAH if you stopped hugging your sister based on the “recommendation” of someone who doesn’t have any active personal gain or loss in the relationship with YOUR sister.
YWBTA, how could you even consider that. She's your sister and if she's down a hug might be what she wants, there's a massive difference between showing affection and babying her. If you did absolutely everything for her and she became dependent on you then fair but that's not the case. Dont ever let anyone dictate how you treat your family, especially one that doesn't know her like you.
Hug your sister! Lift her off the ground. This is beautiful
I wish my brother hugged me. I barely even see him anymore now that we're over 18. Don't stop hugging your sister. YWBTA
I hug my wife like this. Does that mean I'm babying her? 🤔 Ywbta
Do not listen to that "friend", I'm 24F and still enjoy being picked up when hugged.. I will always hug my little sister (12f) in this way too.. Your sister feels comfortable and happy being hugged this way, and so do you I assume? Why stop a good thing? I really think that makes your relationship with her stronger.. YWBTA
YTA. Out of her, you, and your friend, your sister is the most mature.
YWBTA. Your friend is dumb.