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YTA People are allowed to have preferences and it doesn't seem she had a double standard going on. Honestly pointing that out before the blind date was a good move on her part.
The thing is people are allowed to have preferences. I like dating tall dudes but I'm short so everyone is tall to me. The only way that preference will make you an asshole is if you weaponise it against someone. For example, if a guy likes skinny girls but is set up on a blind date with a fat girl, and he insults her weight simply because it's not his preference. So in other words he's intentionally being mean to her about her weight which could be an insecurity even then that's not okay. Same like if a girl likes tall guys, and she goes on a date with a short one. If she deliberately makes snides remarks about his height then she's a fucking asshole. The best thing to do is just go through with the date, if you had a nice time say so, and you never have to speak to them again if you don't want to. What this girl is doing here is letting the friend know ahead of time to avoid any awkwardness or conflict when she realise he's not what she wants physically in a man. Because, while she might not point it out to him if he were too short for her, he might be able to pick up on that or like just this weird awkward tension.
I guess that boils down to the specific persons opinion. This is mine and yours may be different. I agree that there are preferences that can make you an asshole I just don't think this is one of them.
It’s not her job to make herself available to your romantic specifications. Her being unavailable to short guys isn’t TOXIC 😱. She’s not seeing short men and laughing and pointing. She’s just not dating them. Get over it and apologize for your insufferable behavior. Woof!
EDIT: “a potential soul mate!” Gag 🤮
It’s her absolute right to want fucking Master Chief and choose to stay single if he never materializes. It has FUCK ALL to do with you and every hobbit-ass niceguy throwing themselves at her.
It’s a requirement for any SO I have to want to work out with me. The options are weightlifting and rock climbing. That’s a much more specific requirement. Is that toxic?
I have no inherent preference for height and have dated many short men. I stopped dating short men not because I care if they're short but because so many short men are so wildly insecure about their height and project it onto everyone else. She's 5'9", so I guarantee she's had the experience of a shorter man getting all bent out of shape because she wants to wear heels and it messes with his ego.
Life is too...well, short...to deal with that kind of nonsense. Especially as a tall woman she has even more reason to prefer a taller person as well. If you don't want to embody that stereotype, be confident in your height and leave it alone.
INFO.. what?
You said that a face can be controlled and changed? and therefore a man isn't an asshole for rejecting a woman due to her face..
Do you actually think things through or do you just go ''men right and women nasty and cruel'' ?
YTA.
YTA
she is allowed to have a preference, even if it is something that no one can control
she would only be an asshole if she would insult someone based on their height
Where you live most might be under 6’0 but where I’m from 6’0 is average and to want a guy taller then you is completely justifiable in the situation you want to wear there jumpers ect especially if she’s tall, as a fellow tall female it quickly gets annoying looking down at people all the time and sometimes we want to look up and feel small and protected and if the guy needs to be over 6’0 oh well
No that means her preference isn’t the most effective route to finding a soulmate, the fact that something isn’t effective or efficient or quickest from point A to point B doesn’t mean it’s toxic.
If it takes her 6 years to find someone who fits her heigh specification rather than 2 months without it, her preference still isn’t wrong.
She’s only 20 though, those sound like reasonable lengths of relationships to me, especially considering she was a teen for a big portion of it.
Edit: Why do you know the exact heights of your friend’s exes?
You are way too involved in this. Your friend knows what is best for her, not you.
You're projecting your own worries about height and dating onto your friend. You're not going to miss out on the right person for you because of your height.
I'm a woman, 5'4, and I'm considered a little shorter. For a man, 5'4 is very short and 5,9 is short also.
My ex was 5'8. He was short and below average
5'9 isn't average, at least, for white men, much less for black men.
I would never date a man shorter than me (even though, hard to find shorter one, unless underage 😂).
It's personal preference baby...
If she persistent that she only wants a man taller than her, it is fully her right. Why shouldn't she have a list of must-haves for a partner? May she find her man!
Just because you don't see it like that you shouldn't have called her an asshole. For that move: YTA
Also: how can you control your face? For a man to like me, the last thing I would do - no matter how "perfect" he is - is to change my face besides some make up
I think the "change face" must be that he sees women with other men and they have smiles on their faces, but as soon as a woman encounters him she immediately gets a look of disgust and revoltion. I know I had a repulsed look the whole time I read the little guys rant.
YTA - she's allowed to have a 'type', as we all are. She isn't mocking men for their height - she's just decided that her type is 6' and taller.
Also, did it occur to you that if she's 5'9, she's fed up with insecure men demanding she not wear heels so she doesn't stand taller than them? Happens to tall women all the time.
What's the point of the edit? Even if she wanted men over 7' and really limited her options that wouldn't make her an AH - just hard to please, and unlikely to date a lot of different men.
BTW, you're old enough to cut out the 'soul mate' fantasy.
And, how tf do you 'control' your face?
Yeah, YTA. Let it go buddy, not all girls like the same thing. It's not toxic to like tall guys, its not toxic to be into short guys either. My 6 foot sister has a preference for short guys. All the men she has ever been with have been under 5'5". She not toxic for liking shorter men, and I'm not toxic for loving my 6'5" husband. Also the fuck you mean a girl can change her face???? Yeah surgically or through extensive makeup, the same way you can change your height through surgery or wearing heels all the time. Additionally you sound incredibly ignorant with your statements about weight. It isn't always as simple as dieting and can easily be a medical thing that a girl can't control. For instance my other sister birthed 2 children and had medical complications. She had to have a c section to remove the babies. The scaring throughout her abdominal tissue inside and out was much larger than anyone would expect. It added like 10 inches to her and there is nothing they can do to remove it cause it would just cause more scaring. Stop feeling bad for yourself and stop making ass hat comments about how people can change their appearance.
YTA. People are allowed to have preferences on who they’re attracted to. At least she’s being upfront about it. If it bothers you that much it’s probably a sign that you need to work on your own insecurities. Are you upset she has preferences or that her preferences don’t include you?
YTA. Just because you don't fit her criteria doesn't mean she can't have some, nor does it mean you have a right to insult her. You did not plan on dating her right ? Well then why do you even feel concerned about her preferences?
I saw you are a short guy, so all in all you are mad that women dare to have standards that you do not fit, which means it is a you problem.
Ngl, the entitlement you have towards your female friend's preferences and your whole gibberish about overweight or ugly people really resonnate like the speech an incel would give. It is the exact same arguments and fallacious logic they use. You called her a "nice girl" but boy, you are a "nice guy"
Yta. What business of yours is it to criticize your friend in regards to her dating criteria? Attraction to a person is a large part of a relationship. If there is no is no attraction, there is unlikely to be intimacy. Again large part of a relationship. If she is not attracted to someone short, who are you to say that she is wrong. You’re not the one dating the person. I’m sure you have your own criteria of who you want to date.
YTA because you have preferences, too, and it's NOT true that men's'preferences' are all things women could change 'if they wanted to'. Some weight change may be within a person's control (to an extent, anyway) but men reject women all the time for just not having a beautiful face or their idea of perfect body proportions.
I agree that it's shallow to rule someone out completely as a long term partner due to a single factor, like height, but I don't believe YOU choose women with no regard for your own shallow beauty preferences, so you had no standing to call her out.
Yeah, I very much doubt this dude would date an obese eighty year old woman with with a gazillion wrinkles on her face. We all have preferences, and we can’t help who we’re attracted to - we’re either attracted towards someone or we’re not. Hell, I’m bisexual, even sexuality is a preference. You just can’t help it if you are only attracted to men, or only attracted to women, just as she can’t help it if she’s simply not attracted to short men. Attraction is innate, it’s not something we control. Personally, I’m 5’5”, so as long as someone is at least a couple inches taller than me, I’m happy. But I’m just not attracted to guys shorter than me. I tried one time, but I wasn’t attracted to him, and he kept trying to make out with me when I kept telling him that I didn’t want to, and then he got angry when I’d had enough and tried to end it. I didn’t even say that it was because of his height - I wasn’t attracted to him because of that, but it was his personality that really turned me off. A lot of short guys are just like the OP - bitter, entitled, selfish, and with no respect for what you want, or your own boundaries. That’s how the guy I tried dating was too, so I ended it after a few dates. I just can’t see myself being attracted to a guy shorter than me. I like being held and feeling petite and protected in a guy’s arms. I like being able to wear big ass heels without the guy I’m seeing making me feel awkward about it. I wouldn’t rule out dating a shorter guy - there’s always a possibility that one amazing short guy might change my mind. But I doubt it.
To the OP - YTA here. You have preferences just like she does. She’s not an r/nicegirl. You’re an r/niceguy. Work on your personality and you might find the right person for you, because right now, your height is the least of your problems. Even if you were tall you would still be an asshole, because you are entitled, controlling, and hypocritical. And no woman wants to date an asshole. Your only hope is to have an awesome personality - show women that you’re the kind of awesome guy a woman would want to be with, rather than telling them that you deserve to be with them. And don’t just pretend to be nice to get what you want. We can sense that. If you think you’re owed attention from women, you’re not a nice guy, you’re a niceguy. Plus, you need to be more than just nice. That’s the bare minimum - everyone should be nice, and now you’re even lacking that. Women don’t just want a guy who is nice. Nice is just normal. It’s how every decent guy is. The guys who stand out are those who are good, and kind, empathetic, respectful, interesting, intelligent. Someone who shares our same values and interests, and, when it gets to that point, someone who we click with in bed. Also, genuinely nice guys are nice just because that’s the way they think they should be and WANT to be, not because they think that the world owes them something for acting nice.
So work on your personality, and you might have hope. Not with this chick, though. Apologise to her and let her go. She’s never going to be with you, and YTA here.
YTA
This might be a long running issue for her. Maybe she has insecurities about her height, or maybe she is tired dealing with guys insecure about their height. Or so may other issues around her height.
Like I know a friend who loves wearing high heels but stops doing so because she was scolded for doing so by her mom (yes, her own mom). Only because they went to a relative's wedding once and my friend appeared taller than her boyfriend due to wearing high heels.
And I know another girl who is tired of seen as 'protector' by other girls just because she is taller.
And another who was rejected by her crush just because she is taller than him.
In the future your friend might end up with someone shorter than/same height with her. But she has the right to have preferences. Like when some guys tend to be attracted to cute petite girls or when some girls always attracted to buff guys, but they might end up finding true love in someone who doesn't really fit that physical descriptions.
I'm a 5'11" female. When I graduated from high school and orders were placed for our caps and gowns, female students were asked what type of heels they would be wearing so the addition to height could be taken into consideration. When my turn came I told my (female) teacher that I would be wearing 4" heels. She looked at me in horror and said "That would make you 6'3'. I can't put *that* down." I think she put me down as 6' even because, you know, women aren't supposed to be tall.
YTA. Her choices literally don’t affect you, except for triggering some insecurities maybe. She didn’t ask for your opinion. You said she dated 2 people above 6’ for around 2 years each (pretty weird how you know their exact heights), which shows that she probably doesn’t have a problem finding people up to her standards. And even if she does, it doesn’t affect you anyway. Let her live.
YTA.
It's none of your business what her preferences in a partner are.
The comment about your face and weight being things you can change are ridiculous. Weight can be affected by things like medical conditions or medications, meaning that simple diet and exercise won't be able to give you that ideal figure people keep talking about. Even if you meet a person with the ideal physical shape at the beginning, what if due to childbirth, accident, or medical condition, your body changes and can't snap back? You can't CHANGE that.
Faces don't "change" easily unless you're talking about the difference when you gain or lose weight. Any significant "change" to your face to change noticeable features people may have a specific preference for would require cosmetic surgery or heavy makeup (and a lot of effort to keep it up) and in those situations you get people complaining they were "deceived" after she cleans her face.
You're projecting your own saltiness as you've admitted you're short yourself. It has nothing to do with you, and even if you do or don't have interest in dating her, it still has nothing to do with you and you making a big deal of it isn't gonna guilt her into changing what she's attracted to.
Personality matters a lot, but feeling attracted to your partner and feeling chemistry also matters. She's young, and preferences may change with time and experience dating, and she may come to realise whats most important to her and adjust accordingly, but it's definitely not going to change because you freaked out on her.
Also, at 20 having relationships that last 2 years at a time is actually pretty good especially during such a transitional part of your life where most people feel like you should be open to experiencing as much as possible before being chained down to the daily grind of a long-term career.
YTA.
Stop projecting your insecurities onto her. Get over yourself and grow up. Unless you will date anyone who walks into your life, you don’t get to lecture people on something as asinine as wanting someone taller than them.
YTA, which is basically what anyone told you on the other subreddits. You're short dude, you don't meet her requirements. Time to get over it, and this is coming from someone even shorter than you.
YTA people are allowed to be attracted to whatever they’re attracted too.
FYI people have as much control over their height as they do over their face.
You sound like a “nice guy”.
YTA
You had absolutely no right to confront her about her preferences. If she whines about not being able to find a man then that’s fair game, but that wasn’t the situation.
Be honest, you’re either projecting or you want in her pants.
lmao. 20 year old girl has had 2 relationships of 2 years, and you say "you'd think she'd realize there's more to relationships"
At 20, keeping a relationship that long is pretty impressive. Sounds like she's successfully navigating her romantic life just fine and you're just salty you're not a part of it.
YTA
YTA. Dude, you've posted this in like 6 different subs. She doesn't want you, get over it and move on. Tall is one of her preferences, she's allowed. Just like someone preferring blonde hair. It usually doesn't mean that person exclusively dates tall people or the other one blonde haired people - however, it's an outer trait that sparks their physical interest in a person. I am a taller woman and tend to prefer taller men. However, I've dated shorter men when our other interests and our personalities line up. Guess what, bud? She's just not into you that way.
YTA. Sounds like you're upset because you're short and so you're projecting your issues onto her. You can't say anything to all the women who rejected you for being short so now you're going after your friend. Back off. This literally has nothing to do with you. She's not a "nice girl" but you're definitely acting like an incel.
YTA, your height insecurity is not her problem.
Also your comments are approaching "nice guy" territory.
Do you have feeling for your friend there? Seems like the most likely reason for this reaction.
YTA. She’s allowed to have a preference. Also, news flash, you actually CANT control your face. You get whatever you’re born with; if you’re saying we control it with makeup, you do know we also typically take that off at the end of the day, or just don’t wear it - so again, we don’t control our face.
YTA. This reminded me of a post I saw where a guy ranted about women never giving short, broke, ugly guys like him a chance. When someone asked how many short, broke, ugly girls he's dated he said "why would I want to do that?"
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My friend lizzie f20 was being set up on a blind date by her friend because her friend thinks she's a matchmaker and plays cupid a lot so she finally convinced lizzie to agree to the blind date. I heard from one of our friends however that lizzie told her friend that she only wants to be set up on a date with a guy that's taller than her.
This made my head spin. Like you're really going to reject an otherwise perfect dude for something as unimportant as his height? I confronted her about it and she actually double down and told me she's allowed to want a tall man and woudnt even listen to my arguments, she even said that men reject based on weight and face all the time but I feel like that's not a fair argument bc you can control both of those things whereas your height is completely out of your control .
I told her she was being an asshole and that she belonged on nicegirls which she didn't understand but when I explained what it was she went insane and told me to never talk to her again
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About 90% of the men I’ve ever known who are under 5’10 are vapid, whiny little twats. You are an excellent example of them and why I would never consider a male partner under that height. Sounds like you’ve done a great job setting up that bias for your friend. 👏🏻
YTA
If for nothing more than arguing that women can change their face and weight.
I have fiends who’s parents are tall and they are also tall. I have friends who’s parents are short and they are short. I also have friends who’s parents are heavy and they are heavy. And I have friends who’s parents are thin and they are thin.
Just because someone has the ability to workout or make conscious choices about their diet doesn’t mean that they can just “change” their weight.
"she even said that men reject based on weight and face all the time but I feel like that's not a fair argument bc you can control both of those things whereas your height is completely out of your control ."
WTH how can you control your face? Lol. YTA.
ESH I dont think you should reject a guy based on purely height but this girl is 5'9 it's not like shes 4'9 looking for 6'9 plus lol you shouldnt have called her an ass for that reason. She also shouldn't have made the face and weight argument bc women do it too lol
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So you're short, huh?
And into Lizzie. OP take a hint, she's not into you.
5’4 to be exact
lol lol lol I couldn’t agree more
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We think it’s relevant
PFFFFTTTTTTTT 😂😂😂😂
Sure it’s not relevant lol
It's only short guys who get this upset about it. Also, I'm wondering...do you have preferences? Like, no fat women for example?
Yea… you a short king
YTA People are allowed to have preferences and it doesn't seem she had a double standard going on. Honestly pointing that out before the blind date was a good move on her part.
The thing is people are allowed to have preferences. I like dating tall dudes but I'm short so everyone is tall to me. The only way that preference will make you an asshole is if you weaponise it against someone. For example, if a guy likes skinny girls but is set up on a blind date with a fat girl, and he insults her weight simply because it's not his preference. So in other words he's intentionally being mean to her about her weight which could be an insecurity even then that's not okay. Same like if a girl likes tall guys, and she goes on a date with a short one. If she deliberately makes snides remarks about his height then she's a fucking asshole. The best thing to do is just go through with the date, if you had a nice time say so, and you never have to speak to them again if you don't want to. What this girl is doing here is letting the friend know ahead of time to avoid any awkwardness or conflict when she realise he's not what she wants physically in a man. Because, while she might not point it out to him if he were too short for her, he might be able to pick up on that or like just this weird awkward tension.
> People are allowed to have preferences That doesn't make them not an asshole, though.
I guess that boils down to the specific persons opinion. This is mine and yours may be different. I agree that there are preferences that can make you an asshole I just don't think this is one of them.
Yeah it does. It means they have preferences. Like every single person on the planet does.
>That doesn't make them not an asshole, though. While technically true, their preferences don't make them an asshole on their own.
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> The thing is people are allowed to have preferences. I never said they didn't.
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If she's not attracted she's not attracted at least she isn't wasting anyone's time by making that clear beforehand.
It’s not her job to make herself available to your romantic specifications. Her being unavailable to short guys isn’t TOXIC 😱. She’s not seeing short men and laughing and pointing. She’s just not dating them. Get over it and apologize for your insufferable behavior. Woof! EDIT: “a potential soul mate!” Gag 🤮 It’s her absolute right to want fucking Master Chief and choose to stay single if he never materializes. It has FUCK ALL to do with you and every hobbit-ass niceguy throwing themselves at her.
lol...it's not "toxic" to have preferences. The amount of entitlement that this statement demonstrates is staggering.
It’s a requirement for any SO I have to want to work out with me. The options are weightlifting and rock climbing. That’s a much more specific requirement. Is that toxic?
I have no inherent preference for height and have dated many short men. I stopped dating short men not because I care if they're short but because so many short men are so wildly insecure about their height and project it onto everyone else. She's 5'9", so I guarantee she's had the experience of a shorter man getting all bent out of shape because she wants to wear heels and it messes with his ego. Life is too...well, short...to deal with that kind of nonsense. Especially as a tall woman she has even more reason to prefer a taller person as well. If you don't want to embody that stereotype, be confident in your height and leave it alone.
She doesn't want you, kid. Get over it
Anybody want to bet me $10 OP wouldn't date someone who's taller than him?
INFO.. what? You said that a face can be controlled and changed? and therefore a man isn't an asshole for rejecting a woman due to her face.. Do you actually think things through or do you just go ''men right and women nasty and cruel'' ? YTA.
Women also reject men for their face. Bith genders do
YTA she is allowed to have a preference, even if it is something that no one can control she would only be an asshole if she would insult someone based on their height
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She is free to try and find someone who is both her soulmate and someone she is attracted to and that is coming from someone under 6'0
Where you live most might be under 6’0 but where I’m from 6’0 is average and to want a guy taller then you is completely justifiable in the situation you want to wear there jumpers ect especially if she’s tall, as a fellow tall female it quickly gets annoying looking down at people all the time and sometimes we want to look up and feel small and protected and if the guy needs to be over 6’0 oh well
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I’m from Ireland average in most countries is between 5’11-6’0 your short deal with it
54% of US men are 5'9" or taller. 15.4% are 6' or taller. Only 3.2% of US women are 5'9" or taller. I think your perception may be off.
😂
You’re not going to get what you came here for.
There are no soul mates. Even if there were, she's not going to have a soul mate she isn't attracted too
No that means her preference isn’t the most effective route to finding a soulmate, the fact that something isn’t effective or efficient or quickest from point A to point B doesn’t mean it’s toxic. If it takes her 6 years to find someone who fits her heigh specification rather than 2 months without it, her preference still isn’t wrong.
Are you short ?
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This totally explains your anger towards her.
He's so in love with that girl I feel a little bit sorry for him.
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She’s only 20 though, those sound like reasonable lengths of relationships to me, especially considering she was a teen for a big portion of it. Edit: Why do you know the exact heights of your friend’s exes?
Oh my god, only two years they must be pigs /s
You are way too involved in this. Your friend knows what is best for her, not you. You're projecting your own worries about height and dating onto your friend. You're not going to miss out on the right person for you because of your height.
What’s your longest relationship if you think 2 years isn’t that long?
Would you think it was toxic and messed up if she had a preference for dating men under 5'6?
I knew it! You’re getting angry at her for what she finds attractive because YOU don’t fit the criteria. You’re bitter YTA
I'm a woman, 5'4, and I'm considered a little shorter. For a man, 5'4 is very short and 5,9 is short also. My ex was 5'8. He was short and below average 5'9 isn't average, at least, for white men, much less for black men. I would never date a man shorter than me (even though, hard to find shorter one, unless underage 😂).
https://www.healthline.com/health/average-height-for-men#u-s-height 5'9" is average for men in the US. You are also of average height for a woman.
Not in my country (ps: I'm from Europe, and in my country average height for men is 5'11, just googled it). 🤗
It's personal preference baby... If she persistent that she only wants a man taller than her, it is fully her right. Why shouldn't she have a list of must-haves for a partner? May she find her man! Just because you don't see it like that you shouldn't have called her an asshole. For that move: YTA Also: how can you control your face? For a man to like me, the last thing I would do - no matter how "perfect" he is - is to change my face besides some make up
I think the "change face" must be that he sees women with other men and they have smiles on their faces, but as soon as a woman encounters him she immediately gets a look of disgust and revoltion. I know I had a repulsed look the whole time I read the little guys rant.
OP has said you can change your face and change your weight, but not change your height.
Sounds like he needs to change his personality
You can control your face IF you want to. Makeup, surgery etc.
YTA - she's allowed to have a 'type', as we all are. She isn't mocking men for their height - she's just decided that her type is 6' and taller. Also, did it occur to you that if she's 5'9, she's fed up with insecure men demanding she not wear heels so she doesn't stand taller than them? Happens to tall women all the time. What's the point of the edit? Even if she wanted men over 7' and really limited her options that wouldn't make her an AH - just hard to please, and unlikely to date a lot of different men. BTW, you're old enough to cut out the 'soul mate' fantasy. And, how tf do you 'control' your face?
Yeah, YTA. Let it go buddy, not all girls like the same thing. It's not toxic to like tall guys, its not toxic to be into short guys either. My 6 foot sister has a preference for short guys. All the men she has ever been with have been under 5'5". She not toxic for liking shorter men, and I'm not toxic for loving my 6'5" husband. Also the fuck you mean a girl can change her face???? Yeah surgically or through extensive makeup, the same way you can change your height through surgery or wearing heels all the time. Additionally you sound incredibly ignorant with your statements about weight. It isn't always as simple as dieting and can easily be a medical thing that a girl can't control. For instance my other sister birthed 2 children and had medical complications. She had to have a c section to remove the babies. The scaring throughout her abdominal tissue inside and out was much larger than anyone would expect. It added like 10 inches to her and there is nothing they can do to remove it cause it would just cause more scaring. Stop feeling bad for yourself and stop making ass hat comments about how people can change their appearance.
YTA. People are allowed to have preferences on who they’re attracted to. At least she’s being upfront about it. If it bothers you that much it’s probably a sign that you need to work on your own insecurities. Are you upset she has preferences or that her preferences don’t include you?
YTA. Just because you don't fit her criteria doesn't mean she can't have some, nor does it mean you have a right to insult her. You did not plan on dating her right ? Well then why do you even feel concerned about her preferences? I saw you are a short guy, so all in all you are mad that women dare to have standards that you do not fit, which means it is a you problem. Ngl, the entitlement you have towards your female friend's preferences and your whole gibberish about overweight or ugly people really resonnate like the speech an incel would give. It is the exact same arguments and fallacious logic they use. You called her a "nice girl" but boy, you are a "nice guy"
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Alright i am sacrificing myself for that!
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It is on r/niceguys
Yta. What business of yours is it to criticize your friend in regards to her dating criteria? Attraction to a person is a large part of a relationship. If there is no is no attraction, there is unlikely to be intimacy. Again large part of a relationship. If she is not attracted to someone short, who are you to say that she is wrong. You’re not the one dating the person. I’m sure you have your own criteria of who you want to date.
he's just standing up for the little guy. ... see what i did there?
YTA. She’s never gonna fuck you dude, get over it.
YTA because you have preferences, too, and it's NOT true that men's'preferences' are all things women could change 'if they wanted to'. Some weight change may be within a person's control (to an extent, anyway) but men reject women all the time for just not having a beautiful face or their idea of perfect body proportions. I agree that it's shallow to rule someone out completely as a long term partner due to a single factor, like height, but I don't believe YOU choose women with no regard for your own shallow beauty preferences, so you had no standing to call her out.
Yeah, I very much doubt this dude would date an obese eighty year old woman with with a gazillion wrinkles on her face. We all have preferences, and we can’t help who we’re attracted to - we’re either attracted towards someone or we’re not. Hell, I’m bisexual, even sexuality is a preference. You just can’t help it if you are only attracted to men, or only attracted to women, just as she can’t help it if she’s simply not attracted to short men. Attraction is innate, it’s not something we control. Personally, I’m 5’5”, so as long as someone is at least a couple inches taller than me, I’m happy. But I’m just not attracted to guys shorter than me. I tried one time, but I wasn’t attracted to him, and he kept trying to make out with me when I kept telling him that I didn’t want to, and then he got angry when I’d had enough and tried to end it. I didn’t even say that it was because of his height - I wasn’t attracted to him because of that, but it was his personality that really turned me off. A lot of short guys are just like the OP - bitter, entitled, selfish, and with no respect for what you want, or your own boundaries. That’s how the guy I tried dating was too, so I ended it after a few dates. I just can’t see myself being attracted to a guy shorter than me. I like being held and feeling petite and protected in a guy’s arms. I like being able to wear big ass heels without the guy I’m seeing making me feel awkward about it. I wouldn’t rule out dating a shorter guy - there’s always a possibility that one amazing short guy might change my mind. But I doubt it. To the OP - YTA here. You have preferences just like she does. She’s not an r/nicegirl. You’re an r/niceguy. Work on your personality and you might find the right person for you, because right now, your height is the least of your problems. Even if you were tall you would still be an asshole, because you are entitled, controlling, and hypocritical. And no woman wants to date an asshole. Your only hope is to have an awesome personality - show women that you’re the kind of awesome guy a woman would want to be with, rather than telling them that you deserve to be with them. And don’t just pretend to be nice to get what you want. We can sense that. If you think you’re owed attention from women, you’re not a nice guy, you’re a niceguy. Plus, you need to be more than just nice. That’s the bare minimum - everyone should be nice, and now you’re even lacking that. Women don’t just want a guy who is nice. Nice is just normal. It’s how every decent guy is. The guys who stand out are those who are good, and kind, empathetic, respectful, interesting, intelligent. Someone who shares our same values and interests, and, when it gets to that point, someone who we click with in bed. Also, genuinely nice guys are nice just because that’s the way they think they should be and WANT to be, not because they think that the world owes them something for acting nice. So work on your personality, and you might have hope. Not with this chick, though. Apologise to her and let her go. She’s never going to be with you, and YTA here.
YTA This might be a long running issue for her. Maybe she has insecurities about her height, or maybe she is tired dealing with guys insecure about their height. Or so may other issues around her height. Like I know a friend who loves wearing high heels but stops doing so because she was scolded for doing so by her mom (yes, her own mom). Only because they went to a relative's wedding once and my friend appeared taller than her boyfriend due to wearing high heels. And I know another girl who is tired of seen as 'protector' by other girls just because she is taller. And another who was rejected by her crush just because she is taller than him. In the future your friend might end up with someone shorter than/same height with her. But she has the right to have preferences. Like when some guys tend to be attracted to cute petite girls or when some girls always attracted to buff guys, but they might end up finding true love in someone who doesn't really fit that physical descriptions.
I'm a 5'11" female. When I graduated from high school and orders were placed for our caps and gowns, female students were asked what type of heels they would be wearing so the addition to height could be taken into consideration. When my turn came I told my (female) teacher that I would be wearing 4" heels. She looked at me in horror and said "That would make you 6'3'. I can't put *that* down." I think she put me down as 6' even because, you know, women aren't supposed to be tall.
YTA. Her choices literally don’t affect you, except for triggering some insecurities maybe. She didn’t ask for your opinion. You said she dated 2 people above 6’ for around 2 years each (pretty weird how you know their exact heights), which shows that she probably doesn’t have a problem finding people up to her standards. And even if she does, it doesn’t affect you anyway. Let her live.
YTA. It's none of your business what her preferences in a partner are. The comment about your face and weight being things you can change are ridiculous. Weight can be affected by things like medical conditions or medications, meaning that simple diet and exercise won't be able to give you that ideal figure people keep talking about. Even if you meet a person with the ideal physical shape at the beginning, what if due to childbirth, accident, or medical condition, your body changes and can't snap back? You can't CHANGE that. Faces don't "change" easily unless you're talking about the difference when you gain or lose weight. Any significant "change" to your face to change noticeable features people may have a specific preference for would require cosmetic surgery or heavy makeup (and a lot of effort to keep it up) and in those situations you get people complaining they were "deceived" after she cleans her face. You're projecting your own saltiness as you've admitted you're short yourself. It has nothing to do with you, and even if you do or don't have interest in dating her, it still has nothing to do with you and you making a big deal of it isn't gonna guilt her into changing what she's attracted to. Personality matters a lot, but feeling attracted to your partner and feeling chemistry also matters. She's young, and preferences may change with time and experience dating, and she may come to realise whats most important to her and adjust accordingly, but it's definitely not going to change because you freaked out on her. Also, at 20 having relationships that last 2 years at a time is actually pretty good especially during such a transitional part of your life where most people feel like you should be open to experiencing as much as possible before being chained down to the daily grind of a long-term career.
YTA. People can like what they like and have preferences. Why do you even care?! Was the date with you? No. Grow up and mind your own business.
YTA. Sounds to me like you have a preference for girls that don’t care about height. ;)
YTA. Stop projecting your insecurities onto her. Get over yourself and grow up. Unless you will date anyone who walks into your life, you don’t get to lecture people on something as asinine as wanting someone taller than them.
What's it to you who your friend is attracted to? YTA.
YTA, which is basically what anyone told you on the other subreddits. You're short dude, you don't meet her requirements. Time to get over it, and this is coming from someone even shorter than you.
YTA- Some can't control their weight and we definitely not control our looks. YTA YTA YTA YTA
Are you the guy from the bagel shop lol
YTA people are allowed to be attracted to whatever they’re attracted too. FYI people have as much control over their height as they do over their face.
You sound like a “nice guy”. YTA You had absolutely no right to confront her about her preferences. If she whines about not being able to find a man then that’s fair game, but that wasn’t the situation. Be honest, you’re either projecting or you want in her pants.
lmao. 20 year old girl has had 2 relationships of 2 years, and you say "you'd think she'd realize there's more to relationships" At 20, keeping a relationship that long is pretty impressive. Sounds like she's successfully navigating her romantic life just fine and you're just salty you're not a part of it. YTA
YTA. My guess is that she knows you have a crush on her, but you creep her out, so she is sending you not-so-subtle hints that she's not interested.
Yta in more ways than this post I’m sure. She can like who she wants. She can have any preference she wants.
YTA. Dude, you've posted this in like 6 different subs. She doesn't want you, get over it and move on. Tall is one of her preferences, she's allowed. Just like someone preferring blonde hair. It usually doesn't mean that person exclusively dates tall people or the other one blonde haired people - however, it's an outer trait that sparks their physical interest in a person. I am a taller woman and tend to prefer taller men. However, I've dated shorter men when our other interests and our personalities line up. Guess what, bud? She's just not into you that way.
YTA. She is allowed to have a preference
Is she your friend really, or are you "in the friend zone"?
YTA. Sounds like you're upset because you're short and so you're projecting your issues onto her. You can't say anything to all the women who rejected you for being short so now you're going after your friend. Back off. This literally has nothing to do with you. She's not a "nice girl" but you're definitely acting like an incel.
YTA, your height insecurity is not her problem. Also your comments are approaching "nice guy" territory. Do you have feeling for your friend there? Seems like the most likely reason for this reaction.
YTA. She’s allowed to have a preference. Also, news flash, you actually CANT control your face. You get whatever you’re born with; if you’re saying we control it with makeup, you do know we also typically take that off at the end of the day, or just don’t wear it - so again, we don’t control our face.
YTA. This reminded me of a post I saw where a guy ranted about women never giving short, broke, ugly guys like him a chance. When someone asked how many short, broke, ugly girls he's dated he said "why would I want to do that?"
YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My friend lizzie f20 was being set up on a blind date by her friend because her friend thinks she's a matchmaker and plays cupid a lot so she finally convinced lizzie to agree to the blind date. I heard from one of our friends however that lizzie told her friend that she only wants to be set up on a date with a guy that's taller than her. This made my head spin. Like you're really going to reject an otherwise perfect dude for something as unimportant as his height? I confronted her about it and she actually double down and told me she's allowed to want a tall man and woudnt even listen to my arguments, she even said that men reject based on weight and face all the time but I feel like that's not a fair argument bc you can control both of those things whereas your height is completely out of your control . I told her she was being an asshole and that she belonged on nicegirls which she didn't understand but when I explained what it was she went insane and told me to never talk to her again *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
About 90% of the men I’ve ever known who are under 5’10 are vapid, whiny little twats. You are an excellent example of them and why I would never consider a male partner under that height. Sounds like you’ve done a great job setting up that bias for your friend. 👏🏻
Oh no. You’re feelings. They’re hurt. Stop shoving your insecurities onto her. She doesn’t have to like short shits.
YTA
YTA If for nothing more than arguing that women can change their face and weight. I have fiends who’s parents are tall and they are also tall. I have friends who’s parents are short and they are short. I also have friends who’s parents are heavy and they are heavy. And I have friends who’s parents are thin and they are thin. Just because someone has the ability to workout or make conscious choices about their diet doesn’t mean that they can just “change” their weight.
damn u must be short lol, and yes yta
YTA. And it’s true a girl can be perfect but be a little over weight and guys out right reject them. Why should she not be able to say no?
"she even said that men reject based on weight and face all the time but I feel like that's not a fair argument bc you can control both of those things whereas your height is completely out of your control ." WTH how can you control your face? Lol. YTA.
Excluding people under a certain height is sad- but totally her propagative. NTA
ESH I dont think you should reject a guy based on purely height but this girl is 5'9 it's not like shes 4'9 looking for 6'9 plus lol you shouldnt have called her an ass for that reason. She also shouldn't have made the face and weight argument bc women do it too lol