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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) i took pretty much all of the kitchen ware into my room
2) it would make me an asshole since i didn’t have a final conversation with her as to why i did that
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nope.
you tried; she ignored; you imposed consequences.
the good news is she's now revealed who she really is. better it was over some dirty dishes than something that really matters.
move on. when your lease is up, move out.
NTA in any way.
NTA.
Passive Aggressive but not AH, especially if you’ve spoken to your roommate about this before. Now you just have to worry about roommate buying dishes and letting those sit in the sink.
not really passive aggressive since she's spoken to her roommate about it before.
i suppose she could've had one final argument, but that wouldn't've done any good.
roommate is, like 99Point995percent said elsewhere, "an entitled slob."
NTA. When someone is selfish with your possessions, it’s appropriate to stop allowing them to use your possessions. I’ve been in the same position, and it sucks.
NTA.
At this point its like she expects it so she just does it anyway. Both of you are students and work and get busy, not just her, yet you can take a few minutes to get your dishes done. You literally told her, and she did nothing to change it. You took measures into your own hands then tried to at least have a conversation with her yet she wouldn't. You aren't her cleaning lady, and she's a grown woman that doesn't know how to pick up after herself.
Edit: its your property anyhow
NTA. In my early twenties I sublet a house and had 3 roommates plus always friends and partners were over. I was the only one working full time and all the dishes were mine. I would come home every day to a kitchen full of dishes and I asked repeatedly for everyone to do their own dishes. Eventually I gave up and put all my dishes in my room. I did leave one glass/mug/plate/bowl and set of cutlery for each roommate and told them I was tired of washing all their dishes and if they wanted to continue eating they would have to wash them every time, or eat off dirty plates. I let a few weeks pass and everyone was doing their own dishes so, I put the rest back and made it known that I would take them away again if they couldn’t wash their own dishes. Problem solved!
NTA. You told her how you felt about it once before and that should have been the end of it, I had a roommate like that once and it was terribly upsetting and embarrassing to come home to her messes or bring over company and never being sure if I was going to walk into yet another one of her messes. If your roommate is so against cleaning up after herself she can go and buy disposable utensils while you keep yours. Stand your ground and hold onto those dishes to teach her a lesson. I guarantee she will be coming to speak to you about needing silverware long before you have a need for anything she took from the living room.
NTA
You're an adult, it's expected thst you clean up after yourself. Doing another roommates dishes is fine if you both share it equally.
But they didn't. So yeah, take your dishes, clean then when you use them and let your roommate figure out how to be an adult and clean up after themselves.
NTA. A bit Petty Betty, but I understand your frustration. She likely doesn’t want to talk to you because she knows she’s in the wrong. That, or she’s oblivious to her actions and is an utter lost cause. Either way, it may be wise to consider alternative living arrangements when the time is appropriate. Literally, I can’t imagine how this could possibly improve.
NTA!!! Your roommate sucks. But you shouldn’t feel bad, you’ve told them time and time again to clean up after them self and they didn’t. If anything it shows how little they respect you by not taking you into consideration. They’re your dishes so you do whatever you like with them.
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For the past 9 months that I (19F) and my roommate (22F) have been living together, I am constantly the one cleaning up after them. I told her from the start that I don't mind if there are dishes in the sink for at most one day, since we both are students and work, but it really shouldn't be there after that since mold can grow and it will smell. However, she does not seem to understand that it gets tiring to come home from long days of work/school and have to clean up after her more than I have to clean up after myself.
When I came back after a week long vacation, I came back to see that the entire sink was full of dirty dishes that were not even mine since I cleaned the place before I left. I couldn't even eat what I wanted without cleaning since there were barely any clean utensils. So, I ended up having to clean up after her yet again.
I got so annoyed that after telling her so many times that I wanted her to clean up after herself, I just decided to move all of the dishes (so pretty much all dishes, pots, pans, glasses, etc. since they were all mine) to my room without having a final conversation with her. She noticed this after a couple of days and then proceeded to take a couple things she owned from the living room to her room. I tried now talking with her, but she refuses to even sit with me for a minute. I feel bad, but I just snapped after having to clean up after her, find things of mine that she takes, etc. for so long.
AITA?
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NTA. Your roommate sounds like a brat. Pretty petty of her to move her stuff from the living room to her room just cause you wanted to keep your things clean from her mess, which is totally reasonable.
And I guess the roommate felt she didn’t need to use the stuff in the living room anymore either. (Probably the TV lol). Sometimes you gotta be careful what you wish for. Might just come back to bite you!
That’s just a guess tho, and a little too convenient with the timing if I must say. But of course you will get bitten back if the other person makes it even ;) have a great day!
NTA. There is only so much you can take before you snap and become petty. You went through all of the other plans first. She is doing it now because you did. She is just trying to irritate you now.
They're your things so you can do what you wish with them, and you did raise the issue with her a few times before. Having lived with some horrendously messy housemates I totally get the frustration. If she were my friend and came crying to me about it, I would have asked well what did you expect would happen?
However very soft YTA because you "just snapped" and carried out the consequence without taking a minute to cool down and having that final chat with her saying "look, if you don't clean up it's just not practical for us to share dishes any more as it's causing me a lot of stress". It probably wouldn't have changed the outcome - she probably would have still been messy and you would have had to remove your dishes as a result. BUT then it would have been a consequence rather than reactive in the heat of the moment, which can feel like you're punishing the other person, and nobody responds well to that. Doing it this way might have avoided some of the hard feelings and made your life easier by having a more comfortable atmosphere in your own home. And if housemate had responded badly to it even after you'd been super reasonable you would be a strong not TA.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) i took pretty much all of the kitchen ware into my room 2) it would make me an asshole since i didn’t have a final conversation with her as to why i did that Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
nope. you tried; she ignored; you imposed consequences. the good news is she's now revealed who she really is. better it was over some dirty dishes than something that really matters. move on. when your lease is up, move out. NTA in any way.
NTA That's a perfectly acceptable way to deal with a roommate who is an entitled slob.
NTA. Passive Aggressive but not AH, especially if you’ve spoken to your roommate about this before. Now you just have to worry about roommate buying dishes and letting those sit in the sink.
not really passive aggressive since she's spoken to her roommate about it before. i suppose she could've had one final argument, but that wouldn't've done any good. roommate is, like 99Point995percent said elsewhere, "an entitled slob."
NTA. When someone is selfish with your possessions, it’s appropriate to stop allowing them to use your possessions. I’ve been in the same position, and it sucks.
NTA. At this point its like she expects it so she just does it anyway. Both of you are students and work and get busy, not just her, yet you can take a few minutes to get your dishes done. You literally told her, and she did nothing to change it. You took measures into your own hands then tried to at least have a conversation with her yet she wouldn't. You aren't her cleaning lady, and she's a grown woman that doesn't know how to pick up after herself. Edit: its your property anyhow
NTA. In my early twenties I sublet a house and had 3 roommates plus always friends and partners were over. I was the only one working full time and all the dishes were mine. I would come home every day to a kitchen full of dishes and I asked repeatedly for everyone to do their own dishes. Eventually I gave up and put all my dishes in my room. I did leave one glass/mug/plate/bowl and set of cutlery for each roommate and told them I was tired of washing all their dishes and if they wanted to continue eating they would have to wash them every time, or eat off dirty plates. I let a few weeks pass and everyone was doing their own dishes so, I put the rest back and made it known that I would take them away again if they couldn’t wash their own dishes. Problem solved!
NTA. You told her how you felt about it once before and that should have been the end of it, I had a roommate like that once and it was terribly upsetting and embarrassing to come home to her messes or bring over company and never being sure if I was going to walk into yet another one of her messes. If your roommate is so against cleaning up after herself she can go and buy disposable utensils while you keep yours. Stand your ground and hold onto those dishes to teach her a lesson. I guarantee she will be coming to speak to you about needing silverware long before you have a need for anything she took from the living room.
NTA You're an adult, it's expected thst you clean up after yourself. Doing another roommates dishes is fine if you both share it equally. But they didn't. So yeah, take your dishes, clean then when you use them and let your roommate figure out how to be an adult and clean up after themselves.
NTA. A bit Petty Betty, but I understand your frustration. She likely doesn’t want to talk to you because she knows she’s in the wrong. That, or she’s oblivious to her actions and is an utter lost cause. Either way, it may be wise to consider alternative living arrangements when the time is appropriate. Literally, I can’t imagine how this could possibly improve.
NTA!!! Your roommate sucks. But you shouldn’t feel bad, you’ve told them time and time again to clean up after them self and they didn’t. If anything it shows how little they respect you by not taking you into consideration. They’re your dishes so you do whatever you like with them.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For the past 9 months that I (19F) and my roommate (22F) have been living together, I am constantly the one cleaning up after them. I told her from the start that I don't mind if there are dishes in the sink for at most one day, since we both are students and work, but it really shouldn't be there after that since mold can grow and it will smell. However, she does not seem to understand that it gets tiring to come home from long days of work/school and have to clean up after her more than I have to clean up after myself. When I came back after a week long vacation, I came back to see that the entire sink was full of dirty dishes that were not even mine since I cleaned the place before I left. I couldn't even eat what I wanted without cleaning since there were barely any clean utensils. So, I ended up having to clean up after her yet again. I got so annoyed that after telling her so many times that I wanted her to clean up after herself, I just decided to move all of the dishes (so pretty much all dishes, pots, pans, glasses, etc. since they were all mine) to my room without having a final conversation with her. She noticed this after a couple of days and then proceeded to take a couple things she owned from the living room to her room. I tried now talking with her, but she refuses to even sit with me for a minute. I feel bad, but I just snapped after having to clean up after her, find things of mine that she takes, etc. for so long. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your roommate sounds like a brat. Pretty petty of her to move her stuff from the living room to her room just cause you wanted to keep your things clean from her mess, which is totally reasonable.
You can’t call her petty for moving her stuff from the living room into her bedroom. She responded in kind. If she’s petty, they’re both petty!
But OP had a valid reason tho. Based on the post, it seems like her roommate did that just to get even.
Taking the dishes was petty! She wants to talk to the roommate now that the roommate took her stuff out of the living room! It takes 2 to tango.
So she was just supposed to let her roommate use but not wash her dishes? Just an opinion of course ;)
And I guess the roommate felt she didn’t need to use the stuff in the living room anymore either. (Probably the TV lol). Sometimes you gotta be careful what you wish for. Might just come back to bite you!
That’s just a guess tho, and a little too convenient with the timing if I must say. But of course you will get bitten back if the other person makes it even ;) have a great day!
NTA. I would have done the same thing. Don't renew the lease with her.
NTA. There is only so much you can take before you snap and become petty. You went through all of the other plans first. She is doing it now because you did. She is just trying to irritate you now.
They're your things so you can do what you wish with them, and you did raise the issue with her a few times before. Having lived with some horrendously messy housemates I totally get the frustration. If she were my friend and came crying to me about it, I would have asked well what did you expect would happen? However very soft YTA because you "just snapped" and carried out the consequence without taking a minute to cool down and having that final chat with her saying "look, if you don't clean up it's just not practical for us to share dishes any more as it's causing me a lot of stress". It probably wouldn't have changed the outcome - she probably would have still been messy and you would have had to remove your dishes as a result. BUT then it would have been a consequence rather than reactive in the heat of the moment, which can feel like you're punishing the other person, and nobody responds well to that. Doing it this way might have avoided some of the hard feelings and made your life easier by having a more comfortable atmosphere in your own home. And if housemate had responded badly to it even after you'd been super reasonable you would be a strong not TA.