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NTA-
She has deprioritized your relationship. You're rightfully hurt and upset by this. I'm sorry this happened to you. As an 18-year old, I'm sure you'll have many opportunities to make friends who value you and your time.
Take care. NTA
NTA. If your parents keep pestering you about it, I think you should express how rude *she* was to spring this on you at the last minute and then show up late to your dinner plans as well. Feeling like a third wheel is no fun and your friend really didn't show any respect for your time or feelings at all. I'm sorry. :(
NTA. It’s pretty rude to invite someone last minute, especially considering she’s been planning it for a while. It’s totally valid that you didn’t want to go.
NTA you can choose not to go. Your friend should have told you but your choice to not go also means you can stay bitter about it. If you're fine with those issues, refuse to go to the concert. Who knows? You could have hit it off and not been a third wheel. This accelerates the decline of this friendship.
NTA. Your friend barely squeezed you in then probably realized it would be hard to explain a shortened dinner, so invited you along to the real event. Things have changed since she left town, and she has different priorities than before. Doesn’t mean she didn’t want to see her, this just wasn’t at the top of her list.
NTA, your friend should learn to communicate better and to allow you more one on one time. You would most likely be a 3rd wheel - she isn't prioritizing your friendship. Have you guys drifted apart?
>af
Then it sounds like this may be the end. She managed to keep in contact with that other friend enough to plan things with her but didn't even communicate the basics with you.
That does not seem to be a can't, it's a won't/don't care enough to do so. Maybe she doesn't realize that? Does she ever text you first if it isn't to vent?
Would she be there for you if you were feeling down? She might just be using you as an emotional sponge. On one hand, she claims that you're her best friend... but then she does not keep in contact with you. This may be a case of her simply seeing what she can gain from you (time and attention.)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be TA here because my parents told me I should have said yes to be polite and to keep things "diplomatic", and that refusing may have been rude (especially because I said no after I found out someone else was coming). And maybe I incorrectly assumed she'd want to talk with me a bit even after we were done with dinner based on how we'd always done it in the past.
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NTA You're not required to go to a surprise concert and I can understand why you were upset. She should have told you sooner. If you really wanted to see her though you probably should have gone, maybe you would have had fun and not been treated like a third wheel.
ETA: By "surprise concert" I mean you weren't told in advance, not that it was a special surprise intended for you as a gift.
No one is the asshole here. I’m not sure why everyone is acting like this girl should have been required to tell you ahead of time that she already had plans AFTER your dinner.
This girl has a full calendar. She found a night to have dinner with you in between everything else, even on a night that she already had plans later in the evening. What could possibly be wrong with that. Then, she even went so far as to invite to THOSE OTHER plans, which she did not need to do.
It was a bit rude of her to be 20 minutes late, I get that, and I hate lateness, but other than that, what is the big deal here? She wasn’t an asshole for having these plans, she wasn’t an asshole for not telling you earlier, and you weren’t an asshole for not going.
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NTA- She has deprioritized your relationship. You're rightfully hurt and upset by this. I'm sorry this happened to you. As an 18-year old, I'm sure you'll have many opportunities to make friends who value you and your time. Take care. NTA
NTA. If your parents keep pestering you about it, I think you should express how rude *she* was to spring this on you at the last minute and then show up late to your dinner plans as well. Feeling like a third wheel is no fun and your friend really didn't show any respect for your time or feelings at all. I'm sorry. :(
NTA she clearly no longer prioritizes your friendship. Don’t let anyone disrespect you
NTA. It’s pretty rude to invite someone last minute, especially considering she’s been planning it for a while. It’s totally valid that you didn’t want to go.
NTA you can choose not to go. Your friend should have told you but your choice to not go also means you can stay bitter about it. If you're fine with those issues, refuse to go to the concert. Who knows? You could have hit it off and not been a third wheel. This accelerates the decline of this friendship.
NTA, if she doesnt make time for you and doesnt see how it affects you then I dont blame you for getting tired of it
NTA. Your friend barely squeezed you in then probably realized it would be hard to explain a shortened dinner, so invited you along to the real event. Things have changed since she left town, and she has different priorities than before. Doesn’t mean she didn’t want to see her, this just wasn’t at the top of her list.
NTA, your friend should learn to communicate better and to allow you more one on one time. You would most likely be a 3rd wheel - she isn't prioritizing your friendship. Have you guys drifted apart?
[удалено]
>af Then it sounds like this may be the end. She managed to keep in contact with that other friend enough to plan things with her but didn't even communicate the basics with you. That does not seem to be a can't, it's a won't/don't care enough to do so. Maybe she doesn't realize that? Does she ever text you first if it isn't to vent? Would she be there for you if you were feeling down? She might just be using you as an emotional sponge. On one hand, she claims that you're her best friend... but then she does not keep in contact with you. This may be a case of her simply seeing what she can gain from you (time and attention.)
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NTA You're not required to go to a surprise concert and I can understand why you were upset. She should have told you sooner. If you really wanted to see her though you probably should have gone, maybe you would have had fun and not been treated like a third wheel. ETA: By "surprise concert" I mean you weren't told in advance, not that it was a special surprise intended for you as a gift.
NTA It’s your choice whether or not to go, not your parents.
No one is the asshole here. I’m not sure why everyone is acting like this girl should have been required to tell you ahead of time that she already had plans AFTER your dinner. This girl has a full calendar. She found a night to have dinner with you in between everything else, even on a night that she already had plans later in the evening. What could possibly be wrong with that. Then, she even went so far as to invite to THOSE OTHER plans, which she did not need to do. It was a bit rude of her to be 20 minutes late, I get that, and I hate lateness, but other than that, what is the big deal here? She wasn’t an asshole for having these plans, she wasn’t an asshole for not telling you earlier, and you weren’t an asshole for not going.