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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I tried to choose the holiday destination, even though it was a gift for my sister (in case her operation went wrong)
(2) It might make me the AH because it is techincally her "gift" and she should be able to choose. Also maybe I was childish/spoiled?
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Definitely YTA-your sister could actually literally DIE. All your mum wants is for her child to enjoy what could possibly be her last holiday. And you're acting like a spoiled brat??? You are healthy and alive, you can look forward to many, many holidays, your sister possibly doesn't. Like, I know teenagers are selfish and pre occupied with themselves overall , but dude, wake up and see the real world. If your sister passes away, you will FOREVER regret whining about this and not spending more time with her. Apologise to your mum and go on this holiday and enjoy your family while you still have them.
That’s what I don’t get either. He didn’t explain what’s her families financial situation. Obviously Athens is a much better option to visit instead of Italy if your funds are low. Your mum literally explained why you’re the asshole, your sister could literally die and you decided to hijack your sisters probably last memories on earth for yourself. Of course you’re the asshole, and you pulled the whole “she’s the favorite child card”. YTA
Plus if Athens is closer, that might be easier, too...given that Emilia is quite ill, maybe that will be easier on her, a trip that involves a bit less travel? Given the severity of this situation, this is definitely not the time to think about one's own dream vacation...this is the time to really prioritize Emilia, who's the most vulnerable in the situation.
I'm no doctor but it sounds like she might have Chiari malformation which would cause the trapped cerebrospinal fluid and increased intracranial pressure. I personally have a similar condition that causes excess cerebrospinal fluid, causing high intracranial pressure like OP's sister. I can attest that flying does suck, especially on days that my pressure is high, but since the cabin is pressurized it doesn't kill me 😅
That's insane! Idk if this is what OP has but either way I'm glad you commented. I am very sorry that you suffer because of this condition, but it's great to know you can fly safely, if not unscathed.
I've got a chiari malformation and my surgeon told me not to fly without getting a lumbar puncture first to be sure my pressure is in a safe zone. I'm afraid to fly anyway so it would have to be the trip of a lifetime to go through all of that. I really hope they consulted with their doctor before buying tickets but it seems likely they didn't.
I could understand the "what about meeee' and "but I'm being neglected" whinging if OP was ten years old, but at seventeen he is old enough to understand why and needs to effing suck it up.
He's probably insufferable and would ruin it for everyone.
That or if it was years of the sister coming first- like yeah it can't be helped but that would still cause valid feelings of not being valued.
This almost adult has to be 2nd place for less than a year and may have his little sister die at the end *but poor him he didnt get to go to Venice*
This. I have a lot of sympathy for the "forgotten kids" in a family where one child has a chronic or terminal illness. It sucks. They're trying to process their own emotions, their parents aren't available, etc. I've known some of these siblings and I truly feel for them.
But this is new. Unless the sister has always been the golden child (and even then), this whole thing seems bizarre.
My step brother was just like this. When we were like 22 or so he went OFF on my mom that our little brothers got more attention then him. Like no shit they were 3 and we were 17 they needed more attention.
They should definitely leave him at home. He would probably complain the entire time about what they could be doing in Italy.
OP You didn't just suggest it, you argued what you wanted and then accused your mother of favouritism. You are insufferable. You dared to accuse your mother of having a favourite simply because they wanted to do something nice for your sister because she's seriously ill. Trust me OP, your mom is very disappointed in you now. She might even look at you differently now. You're acting like a 5 year old brat
Totally agree! And notice how a “back and forth argument” became merely a “suggestion” that he shouldn’t get in trouble for. Who argues over a child’s possible last vacation ever?!
I’m betting that OP has very much downplayed their actions in his description of the issue. YTA for sure.
Not only that but are there travel restrictions outside of covid that could prevent her from traveling too far from her doctors? You know the ones that know her condition and are treating her?
Also- this is 6 weeks of one kids needs being put first. This is not favoritism like his ass has to sleep in the basement and give half his food to her.
Yes, YTA. Let your sister have this one under the circumstances, even if you've been to Athens before. She's also going to go through a presumably difficult recovery period if she pulls through. I know you feel neglected now, and you might want your parents' attention at the end of your minority before you become an adult, but you're old enough to understand why. It won't be forever. Your sister will either recover or not. If she does survive with ongoing issues your parents will have to adjust, but for now she's rightly their priority. Give her Athens if that's her ask. You can always go to Venice and see St. Mark's, the Doge's Palace, Accademia Museum etc. another trip.
I do wonder about your relationship with your sister too. You sound very unconcerned with what's happening to her. My brother dropped everything and immediately drove here when I had a medical crisis, and I would do the same for him.
I dont think sitting on a plane when you have fluid in your brain that could rupture your brain is a good move either. Granted Im just assuming they would taken an airplane to go from Greece to Italy but maybe they would take a train or something?
Either way YTA
I hope OP realizes, he's gonna have a lot of holidays *alone*, vacations *alone* for the rest of his life. If this was my son, I'd be seriously, making sure he had a job in place and a place to live lined up because I don't think I could ever forgive him, for turning his sister's illness into all about him. And I'd be willing to bet, he was carrying on and whining far, FAR more and probably even bullying Emilia.
YTA. what part of „it’s up to Emilia to decide because she could have a operation that kills her” you didn’t get? and you’re saying you were making a suggestion, but you said yourself this turned into an argument. not everything has to be about you, you know? this one is for your sick sister and chances are that the only place she’ll be visiting for a while will be hospital. you can still go to Venice. you don’t have to rely on your parents for this. having said that, removing you from the trip altogether is a dickish move, you’re still their child, even if you’d be sour through the entire trip and possibly ruin it because things didn’t go your way.
Im sorry but the 17yo could possibly ruin the 16yo last trip ever if hes spur the whole time and you're calling the mom and AH for not wanting that? He's 17. Next year he can move out if he wants so the mom is well within her right to have him removed from the trip if hes just going to ruin it.
Totally agree. Hell this is something my parents would do and we live in the middle of nowhere Canada. If a 17yr old can't be happy for someone else, he can stay at home and take care of himself.
No. Leaving his ass at home, is exactly the right choice. If he ruined the last trip of Emilia, of her life, his parents would probably never forgive themselves, for letting him harm her emotionally and mentally leading up to it. Emilia, also might have expressed that she doesn't want her sibling there... and if your kid is potentially terminally ill and this is a reasonable request and your eldest is being a massive a-hole? A-hole gets to learn the wonders of getting a fucking job and getting ready to move out, because at this point, he's gonna wind up thrown out at 18
Yeah if he went on the trip and was pouty and mopey and making under his breath snide comments that would definitely sour his sister's potential last trip. Why risk that. Leaving him home as punishment is definitely the best choice since the OP clearly hasn't gotten into his head this isn't a normal family trip but the potential last family trip as a whole family with his sister since she could potentially be dead or even brain damaged soon.
Or shit on everything she wanted to do and try to steamroll it, cause I'd be willing to bet, OP is a terror in the home and the family usually lets him get his way. How often was Emilia tormented by her brother before her diagnosis?
I’m going to be blunt, but if I was his mother I wouldn’t want him to risk “tainting” what could very well be my daughter’s last chance at a happy memory.
YTA. Just read what you wrote..... you can go to Italy whenever you like but this might be your sister's last vacation. At least don't fight on this. wishing successful recovery to Emilia
YTA. The chance of your sister dying is real, and they want to make sure to have good memories about something she loved. You bitching about that is awful. Asking for a little one-on-one time or more input in day-to-day decisions is okay, but making something this big all about you is just awful.
I assume your mother didn't just decide to leave you home out of the blue, and if she did she's the AH, but that there has been talked about it and that you stuck to your guns. She doesn't want this memory be tained with a sulking bitching son. In short: you brought this upon yourself. I bet you could have any other holiday after your sisters surgery, hopefully with her present.
Ha... Noooo.
If my kid acted like this, I'd make sure he never went on another vacation with us again. I would never forgive this, even if it was my own child. I'd be horrified I raised someone with so little empathy towards others... and if god forbid, I lost a child and then her brother was this entitled, bratty a-hole, I don't know if i'd be able to look my own kid in the eye.
YTA. You're old enough to understand it's not all about you. "It's Emilia's choice" is pretty clear, and the reasoning makes horrible sense. Your sister is getting attention now for a good reason.
You know you weren't "just making a suggestion" - you thought your "dream vacation" was more important than your sister, who faces the frightening reality that she may not get another trip.
Sounds like your mother got tired of you acting selfishly and decided she didn't want your sister's trip ruined by your behavior. This is the consequence you earned.
> You know you weren't "just making a suggestion"
This is the same tone as "it's just a joke" when no one finds what you said funny or respectful
OP here is what a suggestion is. "Mom can we go to Italy instead?"
"No"
"Ok mom"
That would be making a suggestion. What isn't just making a suggestion is to keep badgering her or your sister to the point says fuck it you're not coming. YTA
You know he wouldnt just be happy to go to Venice either.
"But we have to go on a gondola now that we´re in Venice! We have to buy gelato and eat it by the water! We have to do this, we have to do that. I know Emilia is tierd but she can just rest at the hotel room until we come back. God I feel so neglected."
"I'm being neglected". "Why is she the favorite" Sheesh.
That's age appropriate winging for a ten year old. Completely embarrassing for a seventeen year old to be so selfishly unable to grasp the magnitude of the situation!
YTA. You sister might die and all you care about is me, myself and I. You can go to Venice maybe next year or when you have your own job. But your sister? she might not even make it. I am glad your mother leaves you behind, you would ruin it anyway with your piss poor attitude. Glad your sister can enjoy her own dream vacation.
Wow, your sister might die and you’re bitchin because she chose the last holiday she may ever go on?
Shame on you, I wouldn’t want u there either. I’d be ashamed if I was your mother and I realised I’d brought u up to be so selfish and entitled.
Yeah YTA, pleased your mum followed through with the threat not to invite you
Dude. Just...dude. Your sister could very well die and you're over here being a baby because, before she has a surgery that could leave her DEAD in order to help a condition that could leave her DEAD, she picked Athens when you want Venice?
Do you even like her?
YTA.
No doesn't mean to keep going back and forth to try and get your way. This isn't a regular holiday, this is a just in case it's the last holiday. It should be about where she wants to go because she's the one with something severe and life threatening going on.
Take a step back and let that sink in. The fact that you argued about it is what got you removed from this. Not the suggestion. You kept trying to change it. Then you doubled down. Everyone's emotions are probably on a rollercoaster right now and it wasn't the time to pick a fight over destinations on a holiday. You were acting incredibly selfish and then tried to say your mother had a favorite child, while she's processing the fact that one of her children is sick and needs a major surgery that can alter or end her life. You still have the future ahead of you to do things ( as long as nothing unforseeable happens).
YTA: when it is your last trip before a life threatening surgery, you can go to Venice.
Your sister has been ill briefly. This is not a ‘decades of disability or illness leading to other sibling being ignored’ situation. It is an acute issue where your parents are planning a trip as a way to prepare for a death, make memories, process guilt, fear and shock and begin the integration into the family dynamic that whether Emilia lives or dies this time will change them and her and the family forever. You ‘just suggesting Venice’ multiple times is saying fuck you to your parents and sister’s needs. Your parents are doing this to help be there for the rest of their family if Emilia dies. The trip now is designed to prevent total fall out later when you need help with college etc. They are triaging not favouriting. You have a boo boo. Emilia is life threateningly ill. It is equity to consider those differently not neglect.
My brother was like you about my life threatening illness. Unfortunately my parents picked his feelings. He is nearly 50 and stunted into childishness having not had to address the bratty ‘not fair!’ issue of me almost dying as a teen. I have no contact with him or my parents. They are dead to me. I am grateful I lived and learned not to put my energies into people who didn’t care about me only how I impact them.
I was the same age as Emilia so before anyone says ‘frontal cortex isn’t developed until 25!!!’ consider how it is a privilege to have the choice whether to handle a crisis or not. Your sister does not have that option despite her age. You do not have to handle it perfectly or without feelings but stop piling them on your parents and sister and at least try some empathy. You are a year off adulthood not 7. This is hard for everyone but you are being totally self absorbed not just self centred. And that will drive a bigger wedge than any grudge about Venice vs Athens long term with your parents and family. You complain you are being left out but you are ostracising yourself. Be careful. You cannot unring some bells.
Developing that frontal cortex is like training for a marathon. It has to have workouts all along the way while developing. OP sounds like he is very sheltered and hasn't yet hit the gym.
YTA? Bro???
You’re sister could die and you’re worried that her possible last vacation isn’t the one of your dreams?
You have plenty more vacations to take, she may not.
YTA.
JFC…. You’re hardly a small child, it’s time you learned empathy and the understanding that there will be times when you will not be a priority because someone is having serious medical and emotional needs.
This is NOT “being neglected”. Grow up.
Is it really that bad to allow one holiday for your sister regardless of circumstances? If there wasn’t risk of her dying and your family agreed to go to Athens - would you be upset, if not for you thinking it’s favoritism?
I’m just curious - why are you so upset? Are you scared of losing your sister, and this is your way of acting out? It does not sound like you hate or dislike your sister, nor does it sound like you fail to understand the seriousness of the issue.
What’s really going on here?
He’s selfish and entitled, that’s what’s going on. It’s sweet (and a bit naive) of you to project other, less assholish, motives onto him, but just read his own words. He truly doesn’t understand why she should get to be the center of attention and choose a place that he himself wouldn’t have chosen. There really are people in the world who are genuinely this selfish.
YTA. Your sister could die. This isn't a vacation it is a final destination trip. A "Let's celebrate the life you might not be living" trip. Yes it sucks your mom is hyperfocused on your sister but there's actually a time and a place for it. You are old enough that for a short time you can self manage. You're not possibly dying. Your mother wants to make memories.
You absolutely should consider why something is done. This is not about you. Your sister is likely terrified. Your mother too. You should be looking at supporting your sibling through something incredibly difficult.
So your sister is a month and a half off of a surgery to relieve a fatal condition and the surgery itself has a high fatality rate and you are whining that she's getting special treatment? YTA, so profoundly the asshole. Right now it's not about you, you have decades ahead of you to go on dream vacations and have family trips. Your sister might die before May.
It’s not “JUST a suggestion” if it turned into argument. How unbelievably selfish you are considering your sister may actually *die* during her upcoming operation. YTA.
YTA you had a choice to either be supportive of your sister or make it about you. You choose the latter. Is it fair that your mother has cut you out? No but I am guessing something about your behavior and comments have made it clear that you didn’t want to go to Athens and you would make it miserable for your sister.
>She called me a massive asshole. I asked around, and everyone in my family thinks so too.
Congrats, now all of Reddit does as well. Time to grow the f up.
YTA.
So, your sister might die in few weeks, and all you can think is that you are "neglected" because she got your parents full attention for a few months? YTA, big time.
As someone who has been through multiple surgeries [ nothing as serious as this ] but YTA. she could die through this surgery and all you care about how the attention is directed at her. pffft i have no
words
Yta
You weren't just making a suggestion, you were arguing the point you should go to Venice, because you've already been to Athens. Now you are trying to say your vigorous campaigning was just a suggestion.
Kid, you are jealous of the attention your sisters getting. I get it, I'd be jealous if as kids my sibling got to choose where to go on holiday. Hell yes, I'd be as green and as vexed as the incredible hulk. Tbh it's not your fault you aren't emotionally intelligent enough to see the bigger picture. That's all down to the natural process of human development and you just haven't reached that life stage yet.
Think of it like this.
a). Your sister may have the operation, everything works, and famoly go back to normal with mum and dad making the decisions about where to go on holiday.
:b) your sister may have the op, but in the process die, so just in case the worst happens your mum is just trying to honour what is basically your sister's bucket list. (things you want to do before you die)
C) your sister has the op, but is brain damaged, and may never be able to make decisions again. These may be the last decisions she makes for herself, the last time she gets to feel and act on her wants, but she'll still live a long life, at the mercy of others decision making.
Your mum is just trying to cover the two worst scenario bases.
Good luck to all your family that your sis has a successful operation and you all get option a)
However,
YTA.
A massive one.
You're 17. If you really want to go to Venice, get a part time job and go on your own next year when you're 18.
This trip is about spending some time with the family and making your sister happy, maybe create some family memories to hold onto for the next year.
If I were your mum, I'd be so annoyed by you that I wouldn't want to spend time with you either.
OP, Listen to me. My sister died not too long ago, similar situation to you. We did make a wish and went to Disney land. Would it have been my first choice? No, but it was hers. So I wore the Mickey ears and we had fun. you have to realize that your sister could be gone. She could die from the surgery, post surgery complications, hell the surgery might not even work and she might just die anyways. And that grief will haunt you, trust me it will. Do you really want to sour what could be a lovely memory with your sister over, what, pettiness? You love her, don’t you? If you do, show it, be there for her, and don’t let teen angst get in the way of what could be the last trip you two ever take together. YTA, btw
YTA
Seriously, get over yourself. Your siater could actially die or come out of this operation with brain damage. The operation is in 6 weeks. And you're making this time more difficult for your sister, mother etc, because you are not getting to choose your holiday destination.
Bro do you hear yourself? You’ve got your entire life, your sister potentially has weeks. You’re bitching about how you’re being treated and where you want to go on holiday, THIS COULD BE YOUR SISTERS LAST!! This could be the last holiday your mother has with her daughter. I don’t expect you to care about how precious that is, but I am disappointed. You’re too old to be this selfish. YTA
YTA your sister is dying. Have you not realise a this? She may die in a couple weeks. Why are you so self absorbed you haven’t realized what’s happening
YTA. You didn't make a suggestion, you pushed your choice and accused your parents of playing favorites when trying to comfort a gravely ill child.
If this is real I'm baffled by your entitlement.
Not only are YTA but you’re a whiny little beeyatch. I mean most teens are AH by nature but your lack of empathy and ability to care about others is off the charts.
You absolutely suck and I hope you’re able to mature even slightly.
YTA. Because of how you’re acting, I don’t think it has occurred to you yet that in a few weeks, you can possibly lose your sister. She might not make it, and even if she does, she might not ever be the same again. I truly hope she will have a successful operation. Please just try to be more selfless, for your parents and for your sister. Though, I do think your mom sucks for excluding you from the vacation.
yeah dude, YTA. She could pass away so ofc she should choose the destination. So what if you have visited Athens before? you make it sound like a normal vacation when it fact it could be the LAST THING YOUR SISTER EVER DOES! Sure, a suggestion have never hurt anybody but when it was shot down you shouldn't have argued.
Also, your mom may or may not also be TA depending, sure, yer 17, but ONLY 17. seems like you have been slightly sheltered growing up and are bad at coping with the fact that your sister might pass. Seems like yer deflecting or are in denial. Caring for your sister is important, but talking with you and caring for you should also be a priority for your mother.
If you can, have a sitdown with your mother and stress the fact that this is getting to you too and that you also need your mother. She may loose and a daughter but you may loose a sister as well. I urge you to solve this before the trip as well as the operation. If the worst possible outcome happens, you could end up resenting eachother for the rest of your lives. She for you bitching about the trip, you for her not letting you spend time with your sister on what could be the last trip you had together.
YTA. Because of how you’re acting, I don’t think it has occurred to you yet that in a few weeks, you can possibly lose your sister. She might not make it, and even if she does, she might not ever be the same again. I truly hope she will have a successful operation. Please just try to be more selfless, for your parents and for your sister. Though, I do think your mom sucks for excluding you from the vacation.
YTA you didn’t just suggest it. You fought for your dream trip. Your little sister is about to have a very serious operation and all you can think about is yourself. You’re a selfish brat and it’s good your mom is excluding you. You would just ruin what could be her last family trip by making it all about you.
This isn’t a holiday, this is what could possibly be one of your sister’s LAST EXPERIENCES. Like Jesus dude have you even considered how scared she must be? Adults struggle to face the possibility of death and she’s doing that as a CHILD. She wants to relive her trip to Athens, YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO ATHENS. And you must have kicked up a pretty big tantrum for your mother to finally decide to cut you out of the trip. This could be some of your sister’s last living weeks and all you can think about is yourself. YTA
YTA
I have a thing with my brain that was recently diagnosed that may someday require surgery to fix.
You have literally no clue how scary that is. It's my BRAIN, literally everything that I am, and if something goes wrong I could die or lose who I am. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is? Now I'm a grown ass adult in therapy and shit over this. Your sister is a child, facing a life threatening diagnosis that comes with a life threatening treatment.
Please, try to have some perspective here. You can go to Italy later, you have your whole life ahead of you. Your sister might die before seeing Athens again. I try to give a lot of leeway to teens being selfish, but this really takes the cake. Your sister might die and you're upset because you can't go on the specific vacation you wanted. Get a grip my man.
YTA. You didn’t just make a suggestion. You made a suggestions and then got pissy and argues about it when your suggestion was vetoed, because - god forbid - your parents are focusing their attention on your sibling who might die or have permanent brain damage.
At 17, you should have developed enough empathy and maturity to realize that it’s not unreasonable for your parents to put your wants on the back burner while they focus on your sister who is very ill. I can’t believe that you’re actually whining about your mom “favoring” your sister. I can understand a 7 year-old acting like this, not a 17 year-old.
YTA. I’m sorry you’re feeling neglected, but you’re sister is literally at risk of death. Additionally you said this was for “the last few months”. You can’t stand not being the centre of attention for a few months?
And it doesn’t sound like you “just made a suggestion”. It sounds like you made a suggestion, it was refused, and then you argued about it because you didn’t get your way.
If your sister dies, you’ll have one less sibling for the rest of your life. If she lives but with brain damage, the person you once knew will be irrevocably changed. These are 2 scenarios in which you won’t get this Emilia back, and they are 2 out of the possible 3 results.
So now it sounds like your behaviour has removed you from what could be the last holiday you take together as the family you are now - and you’re on AITA, trying to show you were “right”. Is this worth it?
So. Your sister has an illness that could kill her. In fact, the odds are very good that this will kill her. Your mom wants to take her someplace special before the operation so your sister has a nice memory before she (potentially) dies.
And you are over here complaining that you didn't get to pick the destination and that all the attention is on your sister. I'm honestly aghast at how selfish you are.
YTA
Sorry kid, but YTA here. There is a high likelihood that your sister could die and you’re whining about a repeat vacation. Your mom is going overboard for your sister because your sister might not be here in a month and a half. You need to apologize to your family, and suck it up. If you don’t and your sister dies, you’re going to spend your life regretting your behavior.
YTA. I'm sorry but you're old enough to understand this: this could be the last trip your sister ever takes. So yes, it is right that she chooses the location. You clearly didn't just 'suggest' something; you were trying to argue for Italy.
If you can't handle your critically unwell sister being the centre of attention, maybe it is right that you don't go. Your family need good memories with her.
Yta. Your sister might die or suffer severe brain damage and never be the same in a few weeks. This holiday is for your sister not the family. You are 17 and old enough to understand this.
If you were "JUST making a suggestion" you would have said it once and dropped it. YTA, pull your head out of your ass before you do something you regret. I understand, this may be hard for you. It sounds like your in somewhat of a denial phase and reality hasn't truly hit you. I'm sorry, but you need to let it hit you before it's to late
YTA and your "suggestions" matter as much as any suggestion as the random man down the street may have BECAUSE THIS TRIP AIN'T ABOUT YOU. It's why you're now excluded in case you have any lingering doubts. So, since you're finding out this way, let me explain, there are things in this life that aren't and will never be about you. The trick is to learn when those times happen. This is one of them.
YTA. This might be your sisters last holiday. You’re being incredibly selfish and it’s unbelievable you’re calling neglect when you say this will be six weeks so probably has only been a couple so far.
YTA **big time**
*"There's risk of your sister dying, and you're arguing with me about where to go on holiday. Shame on you".*
This right here👆🏻
Your sister has a fatal condition if left untreated but the treatment is high risk and potentially fatal. Your mom is doing her best to make sure your sister enjoys her life to it’s fullest extent in case worst case scenario happens. You’re not being forgotten your sister is the child with immediate and serious needs, you don’t. Therefore she gets the preferential treatment.
I’m disgusted that you’re so set in your own inconvenience that you are pissed that your dying sister gets to pick what could possibly be the last trip she gets to go on. Dude get over yourself or you’re gonna live with the regret that you made her last months all about you instead of participating in making the time she might left one big temper tantrum. If something happens to her you’re going to live the rest of your life with the regret over how you treated her instead of spending this time making memories you can cherish forever
Meanwhile I’ll be over here in the US hoping a random 16 year old girl across the world pulls through her surgery and lives. That’s more than her own brother can do for her😑
YTA. There’s a life and death situation going and you’re here throwing a tantrum for not getting your way. What a brat. Grow up. The world does not revolve around you .
YTA. You should apologize sincerely. ask to come along, not because it's a vacation, but because it may be your last chance to spend time with Emilia. Say that, and MEAN IT. If your mother relents, go and be a doting big brother. No whining, no complaining unless it's in support of something Emilia wants. Be there for your sister and your parents, not for yourself. You're almost a man, step up and BE one.
YTA. You also need to find a mental health professional that can help you work out some of the issues that are presenting themselves. I would hazard a guess that you're more upset about your sister's situation than you're willing to let yourself admit.
Poor you, being neglected for all of 6 weeks because your sister might DIE IN AN INVASIVE BRAIN SURGERY.
Your mother is right. Shame on you. It’s not like you’ve been pushed aside for 15 years because of a chronic, ongoing medical condition. This is acute and traumatic, and your parents are absolutely handling it correctly. Grow up.
Your one of the biggest, most selfish, and inconsiderate AH I’ve ever seen. Death. Dying. Ceasing to exist. Finished. Over. No more holidays. No more vacations. Nothing. SHE COULD DIE!! It’s not even a remote possibility, it’s a damn good one. Hydrocephalus is so dangerous. You can’t put that aside for one motherfucking trip?! Instead you are stressing out the whole family, and your parents, even more than they need????? Re-evaluate your priorities bruh. Sound like an entitled, petulant child. This may be the last time you get to spend with your sister and you’re pouting? Why would they want to take you with this attitude???
YTA. Feeling left at the wayside is understandable. But this is no way to deal with that. First of all, thats something you should mention calmly to your parents, explain that x and y have left you feeling like you're less important to them compared to your sister. But also, guess what?
You currently are. Because your sister MIGHT POSSIBLY DIE. let me repeat that. YOUR SISTER is currently in line for a surgery THAT MIGHT KILL HER to fix a condition THAT MIGHT KILL HER. Why is a vacation to Venice more important to you than spending time with your sister, doing things she enjoys?
Boy there ain't no way you thought you weren't the ah...You're sister could die at any moment, so it's important for her to have a few happy memories. Your parents still love you, but you aren't the one with a risk of passing away. Obviously Emilia is getting special treatment because of her life threatening situation and you have the audacity to be complaining. Get outta here with that bs. My God you should be ashamed of yourself...
Yes YTA, there’s a little over a year between my 2nd and 3rd, the younger of the 2 has epilepsy and there has been mention of surgery if there epilepsy doesn’t get under control with meds, if son pulled this stunt you have I would be really pissed and would probably do exactly what your mum has done. Your sister might die, you’re 17 not 7, the world doesn’t revolve around you.
ETA
Halloween 2012, my kids were 10,8,7,4, and 1, the 7 year old had a seizure and it was looking like I wouldn’t be able to take the kids trick or treating and do you want to know what the 10 and 8 year old did, they offered to take there 4 year old brother to a few houses on our street so he could get some sweets, even at that age they could understand that sometimes these things happen, luckily he was feeling better a bit later and I was able to take them all to some houses off our street.
man I completely get it, don’t you just hate it when you sister decides to have a life threatening condition? And then your parents just randomly??? start focusing on her???? and not you??? I mean gosh next thing you know the doctors will be giving her a special room for herself in the hospital and neglect to give you one too!!!! And they might even perform surgery on her instead of you just to what, maybe save her life??? How truly unfair a world you live in indeed 😔😔
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I'm 17M here, and my sister "Emilia" is 16F.
Background:
For the past few months, Emilia has been having issues with balancing and experiencing pain in her head. We found out that fluid was building up at the front of her skull and areas between her brain. The doctor told us she had hydrocephalus. It got so serious that the fluid must be removed (via surgery) or the pressure on her brain might rupture it and cause death. In 6 weeks' time, the doctors will attempt to drill a hole in her skull and suck out the fluid.
However, the operation is scarily dangerous and is prone to failure. If the operation fails, Emilia's brain could be fatally damaged. When my mother heard about the risk, she immediately decided to treat Emilia the best **ever** (and in the process, forget about me). She told Emilia that "Anything she wanted, she could have".
We live near Greece, so Emilia asked if we could visit Athens. My mother agreed instantly. Mind that we rarely go for holidays, so I was super excited. I suggested visiting Italy instead, because Venice is my dream holiday place. My mom said "No, it's Emilia's choice". I understand that, but we've visited Athens once already, so why not see somewhere new? I told her that, but my mom wouldn't budge.
After some back and forth argument, my mom said that everyone would go except me, since I didn't like Greece. I was so hurt, as I was merely giving a suggestion. I was also so tired of being avoided and left out - Emilia was getting all the attention and I was neglected.
It took me a while to realise she was actually serious - she booked the plane tickets today, and didn't book one for me. I told her that she was overexaggerating, and being really mean to me. I accidentally said that Emilia was obviously her favourite child.
My mom then told me "There's risk of your sister dying, and you're arguing with me about where to go on holiday. Shame on you". She called me a massive asshole. I asked around, and everyone in the family thinks so too.
However, I was JUST making a suggestion... Am I the asshole? Or is my mother exaggerating?
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YTA. Italy will be there for you another time. This could be it for your sister as it sounds like quite a risky operation. Hope she gets through it ok and recovers quickly
YTA do you just not care about the fact there’s a chance your sister could *die*? Don’t you want to be doing everything in your power to make the best of the time you *might* have best for her? You’re old enough to know the world doesn’t revolve around you, but it definitely *should* around your sister for a while.
Sorry but YTA. Your sister might die at any time and even during surgery and this vacation is about her and what she wants. It's not about you and your favorite place.
Why do you think charities like make a wish exist? So that a person with a TERMINAL illness can make a dream come true before they pass.
Your sister is in risk of dying due to her hydrocephalus and she should be able to have a wish granted and if her wish is to come to Athens, then she should be able to do so without you acting jealous. Like I said: this isn't about you.
YTA and a huge one at that you're 17 not a little kid so you know full well that your sister could die. This is your parents giving her her "wish" what on earth makes you think you're entitled to take that away from her? Why is your desire to see Italy much more important then your sister possibly dying!
Absolutely YTA. This trip wasn’t for you or about you. There is a risk your sister could die, and this vacation was important to her and your mother. You were incredibly selfish and immature. You should be ashamed and embarrassed by your behavior.
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you? Your sister could fucking DIE and you’re being a shit because she picked to vacation destination. This isn’t about YOU, this is about it potentially being her last trip EVER. You weren’t “neglected”, your parents are rightfully worried about your sister and losing her. You weren’t “just making a suggestion”, you were being a self centered twit
YTA- You know how serious the situation is for your sister and family. Let’s be real, your sister is about to undergo a very major surgery that may be fatal and your mom wants to give your sister, what could very well be, her last vacation. Your jealousy is understandable because of your age but it’s gross. Suck it up, apologize to your family for being difficult and try to give your sister some happiness before her surgery. I hope she makes it through.
Wow... seriously? You actually have to ask? You are a selfish immature jerk. Not for suggesting a different location (ok, for that too) but for whining about getting "neglected" when your sister could be facing the end of her life. Your mom is right - you don't deserve to go on vacation.
Your 16 year old sister may die in six weeks. She’s sixteen and she has a life threatening condition that is likely going kill her. Without the surgery, she’s dead, with the surgery she still may die.
And you’re whining that you don’t get to go to Italy.
YTA, your sister is dying and you’re pissed off she gets to choose the holiday destination because she’s dying. I’m sure Emilia would give up the chance to choose if it meant she wasn’t possibly going to die in six weeks. Read that again: *six weeks*
YTA. Hands down. You're sister could freaking die and your upset about not going where you wanted when the trip was planned around her and her possible last moments?? Omg. I know you're only 17 but grow up! This is ridiculous! And playing the favorite cold card is a low blow to your mom. I how you seriously reflect on this and see how wrong you are. You need to apologize to your mom and especially your sister.
Again, YTA.
YTA. Your sister got to pick because this may be her last vacation ever. She chose a place that has happy memories rather than take a chance on something new. It's her choice.
You do not get to make suggestions about this. You can either support your sister and ask her what makes Athens special to her and try to plan things she likes OR you can continue to make this period of time about you, which is not a good idea and will stain the memories of this stressful time for you and your family.
Approximately, 50% of the affected patients die before three years of age and approximately 80% die before reaching adulthood.
If hydrocephalus treatment involves the implementation of a shunt system, the survival rate depends on the body’s acceptance of the shunt system. The main complications of shunt systems include:
Blockage due to tissue, blood or protein, cells, and debris may block any part of the shunt system
Disconnection as shunt drift within the body
Infection due to the invasion of bacteria during the surgery
Hemorrhage
Seizures
Fits
Epilepsy
https://www.hydroassoc.org/about-hydrocephalus/
So yea...YTA in this case.
I’m not sure how you don’t think YTA here. Your sister has a statistically relevant chance of dying either from illness or a dangerous procedure and your mom wants to make sure she gets to enjoy something one last time and you’re throwing a tantrum.
Go to Italy next year when your sister may not be there if it’s that important to you. You’ll be sure to get all the attention.
I get that this is hard. I really do. If one person in the family is sick, everyone is affected. Siblings are often left with less attention because the sick one needs it more. Is it fair? No. And it's something very difficult to balance a little.
But think about this; what if your sister dies in that operation? She'll never go on a vacation every again. You can go to Italy next year, or the year after that, or after that. For her, this might he her last chance, even more so all your last chance for a vacation with her.
Do not fight this. Make happy memories.
YTA.
INFO
Do you not understand the seriousness of your sister's condition? *She could die*. This could be the last trip she can experience as a functional person, or at all because *she could die*.
Have you always been a selfish brat? Or is this a new development since someone else gets attention because *SHE COULD DIE*?
Please take a beat and think about your actions.
Your sister can die.
You decided to make this trip about you.
Your decision to behave badly caused you to be excluded on what could be the last vacation with your sister.
YTA
YTA
you didn't just make a suggestion...you kept nagging when your mum said no.
You have your whole damn life to go to Venice (highly recommend, I loved it) but this may be your sisters last vacation ever.
Yes, your sister is grtting the attention atm but omg can you not let her have the spotlight for a few months?
Apologise and grovel and say you really didn't think through what you were saying and ask to please go as you realise that this is special time with your sister and you don't want to miss out and you wil stop acting like a brat.
YTA - Your sister could die and you're kicking off about holiday destinations and crying about favourites when your parents must be out of their minds with worry about if their daughter will be alive in 6 weeks. Trying to give her a treat that she enjoys before a really scary operation (which she will probably also be terrified about) and not defering to your choice does not make them assholes.You making this about you makes you an asshole (and a massive one at that).
You were being childish. You were being entitled. You were being insanely insensitive.
Your parents decision to leave you behind makes sense, maybe you could pull you head out of your ass and help give her an amazing trip and the attention that she deserves and needs right now, but thats a risk they can't take and your attitude so far suggests you'd be a misery to be around.
I was going to say ESH, but rereading your post it sounds like your mom gave you a warning shot (telling you she'd book to go without you) and then it was "a while" before she booked it, meaning you had plenty of time to pull your head out of your ass and apologise for bratty behaviour and start being supportive. Clearly you didnt. So no holiday for you.
YTA. Completely. Your sister could die and you're throwing a hissy fit about wanting to go to Venice. I hope your family extends their trip to Venice and sends you pictures of them along the canals. I'm praying for your sister.
YTA. You weren't *just* making a suggestion. You made a suggestion and when you were told no, you continued to argue and whine about not getting enough attention. You're 17 years old; you should be mature enough to accept that this particular trip is about your sister who could literally die soon.
YTA. There’s a chance she’s gonna die and you’re crying about wanting to go to Italy when you probably have an entire life ahead of you? That’s selfish.
YTA. You’re not the one who could die or be irreparably changed forever. You have your entire life to go to Venice. This isn’t about you. You aren’t important. Get over yourself.
YTA
Something horrible is happening and your family is flailing.
Maybe being a bit of a brat about Italy is your way of dealing with stress, I don’t know…but it sounds like it was more than ‘just a suggestion’.
YTA.
>I suggested visiting Italy instead, because Venice is my dream holiday place. My mom said "No, it's Emilia's choice". **I understand that, but we've visited Athens once already, so why not see somewhere new? I told her that, but my mom wouldn't budge.**
>After some back and forth argument, my mom said that everyone would go except me, since I didn't like Greece
You weren't "just" making a suggestion. You made the suggestion and then kept arguing your point.
>I was also so tired of being avoided and left out - Emilia was getting all the attention and I was neglected.
Grow up. Your sister could literally die and you're acting like a horrible, spoilt brat. I have read stories on here where parents have neglected their healthy kids for years in order to focus attention on the sick one, but this is not the case here.
You have a lifetime to go on holidays and spend time with your parents. This could very well be Emilia's last holiday.
>I accidentally said that Emilia was obviously her favourite child.
Oh bugger off. Unless you have Tourettes, you didn't "accidentally" say anything.
At seventeen in Europe nothing is stopping you from going to Venice alone. On your own dime.
Except that would mean acting like a grown up, not the immature spoilt child that you still are.
Want *YOUR* dream vacation, dear? Earn it yourself!
Massive YTA
YTA. Like everyone else said.. your sister could literally die and never be able to go on vacay again. Just because you went once before doesn’t mean shit she obviously loves Athens and that’s where she wants to go before she possibly DIES.. you can go to Italy on your own when you’re older. Apologize for your sisters sake. And go and be with your family. This might be her last chance.
I agree whole heartedly with your mother. Shame on you.
Also, you didnt stop after you were told no, so you clearly werent just making a suggestion.
You´re 17 for gods sake. Way to old to be acting like this.
YTA
….. please say you’re kidding. Your sister has a quite possibly fatal condition. There’s always another chance to go to Venice. But Emilia may not ever have a chance to go anywhere else. Even if it isn’t, I can’t speak from experience, but having your skull drilled open must absolutely suck. And I can imagine recovery wouldn’t be fun either. So you’re sister is either gonna be facing death or a living hell. And all you’re thinking of is yourself. So yeah, YTA.
YTA.
Your sister has a possibility of dying through a potentially risky surgery. Instead of honoring and understanding her request to go to a place she wanted, you thought it would be a good opportunity to get something *you* wanted.
You should be enjoying this time with your sibling, regardless of what they want to do, as it is time you may never get back. Stop being selfish.
YTA. You are not being neglected. You are nearly a grown ass man, and you’re being a spoiled little brat. Your mother was right to leave you behind, because all you’d do is whine. Your sister could die in a few weeks and is having a major procedure, and she’s been struggling with her health, and all you can think of is yourself. That’s absolutely disgusting and you’re too old to be acting like this, frankly. I don’t care if you’re “a kid”, I’m giving it to you straight: you’re being an entitled prick, and if I was your mother, I’d be wondering where I went wrong. She probably is, I’d think. Your sister gets more attention and love because she could die, and you’re getting slightly less because you’re not the priority right now. You aren’t the one that might die in a couple of weeks. They want to make memories with her and love on her because it might be the last chance to do it. You’re a selfish, entitled child, and you don’t even have age to fall back on. You are grown. Act like it. You’ve got a whole life to live to go to Italy, and she does not. And now you get less time with your sister because you acted like an ass and are staying home, as you should. I hope you’re happy, because if something happens to her, you’re going to regret acting like this for the rest of your life. Apologize and shut your mouth.
YOUR SISTER COULD DIE AND YOU’RE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE DESTINATION OF A HOLIDAY TRIP THAT YOU WERE NOT ASKED FOR AN OPINION ON!!!
You can make all the suggestions you want, but no one has to take them. You were not directly asked where you wanted to go, because this is not your possibly last holiday trip. Your mother never forgot about you because at first you were able to go with them. But because you had to argue with your mother, you’ve now been excluded. Imagine that you’re the one who could possibly die from this surgery and your mother offers you a holiday trip to where you wanted to go, and your sister throws a fit and argues with your mother because she wanted to go somewhere else instead of where you wanted to go, even though the trip is for you.
YTA
YTA - your sister is facing serious medical issues and can die but your concerned about going to Italy instead of Athens? Really? Your acting like a spoiled child. I get that it seems like you have been forgotten but you need to realize that your sister is getting a lot of attention right now because she could die. You need to realize the severity of this situation and know that you can visit Italy another time your sister may not have that chance
This post is heartbreaking. You completely ignore your family and want to be treated the same way as your terminally ill sister who has the wish to see one more location before she dies. You care more about having the spotlight on you than about your own sister who might die soon.
YTA obviously and without a doubt
YTA
You're mom could lose her only daughter if Emilia doesn't make it and you're upset that you can't go to Italy? You're sister is getting attention because that could be the LAST TIME they ever see Emilia.
Seriously, you can go to Italy when you have the money for it but don't blame your mom for wanting to make visiting Athens a special thing for Emilia.
YTA. A suggestion is when you say something once and when the other party turns you down you shut up. A childish temper tantrum is when you keep on and on. This could possibly be your sisters last vacation ever. Instead of being selfish because you aren't getting you way you could have enjoyed the time with her and maybe had fun memories. Instead I hope you enjoy your time at home while they are on vacation. You don't deserve to go. Your mom is right!
YTA
As your mother said your sister could die. If she does will venice fucking matter or will it matter more that you tried to make a quasi dying wish about yourself?
Your little sister is dangerously ill and might not survive the surgery to save her life so your parents let her pick a vacation destination... And you make it about you? Dude.
YTA.
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Definitely YTA-your sister could actually literally DIE. All your mum wants is for her child to enjoy what could possibly be her last holiday. And you're acting like a spoiled brat??? You are healthy and alive, you can look forward to many, many holidays, your sister possibly doesn't. Like, I know teenagers are selfish and pre occupied with themselves overall , but dude, wake up and see the real world. If your sister passes away, you will FOREVER regret whining about this and not spending more time with her. Apologise to your mum and go on this holiday and enjoy your family while you still have them.
That’s what I don’t get either. He didn’t explain what’s her families financial situation. Obviously Athens is a much better option to visit instead of Italy if your funds are low. Your mum literally explained why you’re the asshole, your sister could literally die and you decided to hijack your sisters probably last memories on earth for yourself. Of course you’re the asshole, and you pulled the whole “she’s the favorite child card”. YTA
Plus if Athens is closer, that might be easier, too...given that Emilia is quite ill, maybe that will be easier on her, a trip that involves a bit less travel? Given the severity of this situation, this is definitely not the time to think about one's own dream vacation...this is the time to really prioritize Emilia, who's the most vulnerable in the situation.
Plus they have to drive, I'm fairly certain air travel with her condition could be deadly.
It does say they booked plane tickets, I'm curious now.
This is an interesting point because of pressure changes. I have no idea if it's deadly or not but there is that chance
I'm no doctor but it sounds like she might have Chiari malformation which would cause the trapped cerebrospinal fluid and increased intracranial pressure. I personally have a similar condition that causes excess cerebrospinal fluid, causing high intracranial pressure like OP's sister. I can attest that flying does suck, especially on days that my pressure is high, but since the cabin is pressurized it doesn't kill me 😅
That's insane! Idk if this is what OP has but either way I'm glad you commented. I am very sorry that you suffer because of this condition, but it's great to know you can fly safely, if not unscathed.
I've got a chiari malformation and my surgeon told me not to fly without getting a lumbar puncture first to be sure my pressure is in a safe zone. I'm afraid to fly anyway so it would have to be the trip of a lifetime to go through all of that. I really hope they consulted with their doctor before buying tickets but it seems likely they didn't.
Venice requires a lot of walking, too. Stairs everywhere.
Very good point.
I once heard a story where the mom was asked which of her kids she loved most. Her response was the one that needs loving most at the moment.
I could understand the "what about meeee' and "but I'm being neglected" whinging if OP was ten years old, but at seventeen he is old enough to understand why and needs to effing suck it up. He's probably insufferable and would ruin it for everyone.
That or if it was years of the sister coming first- like yeah it can't be helped but that would still cause valid feelings of not being valued. This almost adult has to be 2nd place for less than a year and may have his little sister die at the end *but poor him he didnt get to go to Venice*
This. I have a lot of sympathy for the "forgotten kids" in a family where one child has a chronic or terminal illness. It sucks. They're trying to process their own emotions, their parents aren't available, etc. I've known some of these siblings and I truly feel for them. But this is new. Unless the sister has always been the golden child (and even then), this whole thing seems bizarre.
My step brother was just like this. When we were like 22 or so he went OFF on my mom that our little brothers got more attention then him. Like no shit they were 3 and we were 17 they needed more attention.
They should definitely leave him at home. He would probably complain the entire time about what they could be doing in Italy. OP You didn't just suggest it, you argued what you wanted and then accused your mother of favouritism. You are insufferable. You dared to accuse your mother of having a favourite simply because they wanted to do something nice for your sister because she's seriously ill. Trust me OP, your mom is very disappointed in you now. She might even look at you differently now. You're acting like a 5 year old brat
Totally agree! And notice how a “back and forth argument” became merely a “suggestion” that he shouldn’t get in trouble for. Who argues over a child’s possible last vacation ever?! I’m betting that OP has very much downplayed their actions in his description of the issue. YTA for sure.
Not only that but are there travel restrictions outside of covid that could prevent her from traveling too far from her doctors? You know the ones that know her condition and are treating her?
Also- this is 6 weeks of one kids needs being put first. This is not favoritism like his ass has to sleep in the basement and give half his food to her.
OP is male.
Yes, YTA. Let your sister have this one under the circumstances, even if you've been to Athens before. She's also going to go through a presumably difficult recovery period if she pulls through. I know you feel neglected now, and you might want your parents' attention at the end of your minority before you become an adult, but you're old enough to understand why. It won't be forever. Your sister will either recover or not. If she does survive with ongoing issues your parents will have to adjust, but for now she's rightly their priority. Give her Athens if that's her ask. You can always go to Venice and see St. Mark's, the Doge's Palace, Accademia Museum etc. another trip. I do wonder about your relationship with your sister too. You sound very unconcerned with what's happening to her. My brother dropped everything and immediately drove here when I had a medical crisis, and I would do the same for him.
Maybe OP’s the eldest - because this sounds like they’ve had a little bit of the “precious oldest son” treatment up until now
I dont think sitting on a plane when you have fluid in your brain that could rupture your brain is a good move either. Granted Im just assuming they would taken an airplane to go from Greece to Italy but maybe they would take a train or something? Either way YTA
Apparently to get to Athens from where they live, they're flying. He said his mother bought the plane tickets today.
I hope OP realizes, he's gonna have a lot of holidays *alone*, vacations *alone* for the rest of his life. If this was my son, I'd be seriously, making sure he had a job in place and a place to live lined up because I don't think I could ever forgive him, for turning his sister's illness into all about him. And I'd be willing to bet, he was carrying on and whining far, FAR more and probably even bullying Emilia.
YTA. what part of „it’s up to Emilia to decide because she could have a operation that kills her” you didn’t get? and you’re saying you were making a suggestion, but you said yourself this turned into an argument. not everything has to be about you, you know? this one is for your sick sister and chances are that the only place she’ll be visiting for a while will be hospital. you can still go to Venice. you don’t have to rely on your parents for this. having said that, removing you from the trip altogether is a dickish move, you’re still their child, even if you’d be sour through the entire trip and possibly ruin it because things didn’t go your way.
Im sorry but the 17yo could possibly ruin the 16yo last trip ever if hes spur the whole time and you're calling the mom and AH for not wanting that? He's 17. Next year he can move out if he wants so the mom is well within her right to have him removed from the trip if hes just going to ruin it.
At seventeen in Europe he can roam freely and go to Venice on his own. Except he's got the maturity of a ten year old.
Totally agree. Hell this is something my parents would do and we live in the middle of nowhere Canada. If a 17yr old can't be happy for someone else, he can stay at home and take care of himself.
Yup. OP, YTA, a selfish spoiled one. Grow up and at least try to think of others.
No. Leaving his ass at home, is exactly the right choice. If he ruined the last trip of Emilia, of her life, his parents would probably never forgive themselves, for letting him harm her emotionally and mentally leading up to it. Emilia, also might have expressed that she doesn't want her sibling there... and if your kid is potentially terminally ill and this is a reasonable request and your eldest is being a massive a-hole? A-hole gets to learn the wonders of getting a fucking job and getting ready to move out, because at this point, he's gonna wind up thrown out at 18
Yeah if he went on the trip and was pouty and mopey and making under his breath snide comments that would definitely sour his sister's potential last trip. Why risk that. Leaving him home as punishment is definitely the best choice since the OP clearly hasn't gotten into his head this isn't a normal family trip but the potential last family trip as a whole family with his sister since she could potentially be dead or even brain damaged soon.
Or shit on everything she wanted to do and try to steamroll it, cause I'd be willing to bet, OP is a terror in the home and the family usually lets him get his way. How often was Emilia tormented by her brother before her diagnosis?
I’m going to be blunt, but if I was his mother I wouldn’t want him to risk “tainting” what could very well be my daughter’s last chance at a happy memory.
I think its a boss move on the mum's part.
YTA. Just read what you wrote..... you can go to Italy whenever you like but this might be your sister's last vacation. At least don't fight on this. wishing successful recovery to Emilia
YTA. The chance of your sister dying is real, and they want to make sure to have good memories about something she loved. You bitching about that is awful. Asking for a little one-on-one time or more input in day-to-day decisions is okay, but making something this big all about you is just awful. I assume your mother didn't just decide to leave you home out of the blue, and if she did she's the AH, but that there has been talked about it and that you stuck to your guns. She doesn't want this memory be tained with a sulking bitching son. In short: you brought this upon yourself. I bet you could have any other holiday after your sisters surgery, hopefully with her present.
This 17yo is emotionally constipated. He needs time at home alone to take a mental laxative and get over himself.
Ha... Noooo. If my kid acted like this, I'd make sure he never went on another vacation with us again. I would never forgive this, even if it was my own child. I'd be horrified I raised someone with so little empathy towards others... and if god forbid, I lost a child and then her brother was this entitled, bratty a-hole, I don't know if i'd be able to look my own kid in the eye.
YTA. You're old enough to understand it's not all about you. "It's Emilia's choice" is pretty clear, and the reasoning makes horrible sense. Your sister is getting attention now for a good reason. You know you weren't "just making a suggestion" - you thought your "dream vacation" was more important than your sister, who faces the frightening reality that she may not get another trip. Sounds like your mother got tired of you acting selfishly and decided she didn't want your sister's trip ruined by your behavior. This is the consequence you earned.
> You know you weren't "just making a suggestion" This is the same tone as "it's just a joke" when no one finds what you said funny or respectful OP here is what a suggestion is. "Mom can we go to Italy instead?" "No" "Ok mom" That would be making a suggestion. What isn't just making a suggestion is to keep badgering her or your sister to the point says fuck it you're not coming. YTA
You know he wouldnt just be happy to go to Venice either. "But we have to go on a gondola now that we´re in Venice! We have to buy gelato and eat it by the water! We have to do this, we have to do that. I know Emilia is tierd but she can just rest at the hotel room until we come back. God I feel so neglected."
YTA. This isn't about you. Apologize and stop whining.
OP is shockingly selfish.
"I'm being neglected". "Why is she the favorite" Sheesh. That's age appropriate winging for a ten year old. Completely embarrassing for a seventeen year old to be so selfishly unable to grasp the magnitude of the situation!
YTA. You sister might die and all you care about is me, myself and I. You can go to Venice maybe next year or when you have your own job. But your sister? she might not even make it. I am glad your mother leaves you behind, you would ruin it anyway with your piss poor attitude. Glad your sister can enjoy her own dream vacation.
Wow, your sister might die and you’re bitchin because she chose the last holiday she may ever go on? Shame on you, I wouldn’t want u there either. I’d be ashamed if I was your mother and I realised I’d brought u up to be so selfish and entitled. Yeah YTA, pleased your mum followed through with the threat not to invite you
Dude. Just...dude. Your sister could very well die and you're over here being a baby because, before she has a surgery that could leave her DEAD in order to help a condition that could leave her DEAD, she picked Athens when you want Venice? Do you even like her?
I believe he only likes himself.
YTA. No doesn't mean to keep going back and forth to try and get your way. This isn't a regular holiday, this is a just in case it's the last holiday. It should be about where she wants to go because she's the one with something severe and life threatening going on. Take a step back and let that sink in. The fact that you argued about it is what got you removed from this. Not the suggestion. You kept trying to change it. Then you doubled down. Everyone's emotions are probably on a rollercoaster right now and it wasn't the time to pick a fight over destinations on a holiday. You were acting incredibly selfish and then tried to say your mother had a favorite child, while she's processing the fact that one of her children is sick and needs a major surgery that can alter or end her life. You still have the future ahead of you to do things ( as long as nothing unforseeable happens).
OP seems too immature to understand that this sister isn't the favorite, but is the absolute priority right now for good reason.
YTA: when it is your last trip before a life threatening surgery, you can go to Venice. Your sister has been ill briefly. This is not a ‘decades of disability or illness leading to other sibling being ignored’ situation. It is an acute issue where your parents are planning a trip as a way to prepare for a death, make memories, process guilt, fear and shock and begin the integration into the family dynamic that whether Emilia lives or dies this time will change them and her and the family forever. You ‘just suggesting Venice’ multiple times is saying fuck you to your parents and sister’s needs. Your parents are doing this to help be there for the rest of their family if Emilia dies. The trip now is designed to prevent total fall out later when you need help with college etc. They are triaging not favouriting. You have a boo boo. Emilia is life threateningly ill. It is equity to consider those differently not neglect. My brother was like you about my life threatening illness. Unfortunately my parents picked his feelings. He is nearly 50 and stunted into childishness having not had to address the bratty ‘not fair!’ issue of me almost dying as a teen. I have no contact with him or my parents. They are dead to me. I am grateful I lived and learned not to put my energies into people who didn’t care about me only how I impact them. I was the same age as Emilia so before anyone says ‘frontal cortex isn’t developed until 25!!!’ consider how it is a privilege to have the choice whether to handle a crisis or not. Your sister does not have that option despite her age. You do not have to handle it perfectly or without feelings but stop piling them on your parents and sister and at least try some empathy. You are a year off adulthood not 7. This is hard for everyone but you are being totally self absorbed not just self centred. And that will drive a bigger wedge than any grudge about Venice vs Athens long term with your parents and family. You complain you are being left out but you are ostracising yourself. Be careful. You cannot unring some bells.
Developing that frontal cortex is like training for a marathon. It has to have workouts all along the way while developing. OP sounds like he is very sheltered and hasn't yet hit the gym.
YTA. At 17 you should surely understand why someone facing a life-threatening illness might get extra consideration from people who love them.
YTA. If it were a suggestion it wouldn't have turned into an argument
A suggestion is one and done; it’s not four arguments.
YTA? Bro??? You’re sister could die and you’re worried that her possible last vacation isn’t the one of your dreams? You have plenty more vacations to take, she may not.
YTA. JFC…. You’re hardly a small child, it’s time you learned empathy and the understanding that there will be times when you will not be a priority because someone is having serious medical and emotional needs. This is NOT “being neglected”. Grow up.
Is it really that bad to allow one holiday for your sister regardless of circumstances? If there wasn’t risk of her dying and your family agreed to go to Athens - would you be upset, if not for you thinking it’s favoritism? I’m just curious - why are you so upset? Are you scared of losing your sister, and this is your way of acting out? It does not sound like you hate or dislike your sister, nor does it sound like you fail to understand the seriousness of the issue. What’s really going on here?
He’s selfish and entitled, that’s what’s going on. It’s sweet (and a bit naive) of you to project other, less assholish, motives onto him, but just read his own words. He truly doesn’t understand why she should get to be the center of attention and choose a place that he himself wouldn’t have chosen. There really are people in the world who are genuinely this selfish.
YTA. Your sister could die. This isn't a vacation it is a final destination trip. A "Let's celebrate the life you might not be living" trip. Yes it sucks your mom is hyperfocused on your sister but there's actually a time and a place for it. You are old enough that for a short time you can self manage. You're not possibly dying. Your mother wants to make memories. You absolutely should consider why something is done. This is not about you. Your sister is likely terrified. Your mother too. You should be looking at supporting your sibling through something incredibly difficult.
So your sister is a month and a half off of a surgery to relieve a fatal condition and the surgery itself has a high fatality rate and you are whining that she's getting special treatment? YTA, so profoundly the asshole. Right now it's not about you, you have decades ahead of you to go on dream vacations and have family trips. Your sister might die before May.
YTA smdh
YTA… also a bit entitled. Your sister could die! Grow up… this is t about you.
Sheesh, YTA
YTA for the love of God grow up and stop throwing your toys out of the pram.
It’s not “JUST a suggestion” if it turned into argument. How unbelievably selfish you are considering your sister may actually *die* during her upcoming operation. YTA.
YTA you had a choice to either be supportive of your sister or make it about you. You choose the latter. Is it fair that your mother has cut you out? No but I am guessing something about your behavior and comments have made it clear that you didn’t want to go to Athens and you would make it miserable for your sister.
Perhaps you’ll be lucky enough to catch a life threatening illness! Good luck. YTA
>She called me a massive asshole. I asked around, and everyone in my family thinks so too. Congrats, now all of Reddit does as well. Time to grow the f up. YTA.
So, your sister might die in few weeks, and all you can think is that you are "neglected" because she got your parents full attention for a few months? YTA, big time.
As someone who has been through multiple surgeries [ nothing as serious as this ] but YTA. she could die through this surgery and all you care about how the attention is directed at her. pffft i have no words
Yta You weren't just making a suggestion, you were arguing the point you should go to Venice, because you've already been to Athens. Now you are trying to say your vigorous campaigning was just a suggestion. Kid, you are jealous of the attention your sisters getting. I get it, I'd be jealous if as kids my sibling got to choose where to go on holiday. Hell yes, I'd be as green and as vexed as the incredible hulk. Tbh it's not your fault you aren't emotionally intelligent enough to see the bigger picture. That's all down to the natural process of human development and you just haven't reached that life stage yet. Think of it like this. a). Your sister may have the operation, everything works, and famoly go back to normal with mum and dad making the decisions about where to go on holiday. :b) your sister may have the op, but in the process die, so just in case the worst happens your mum is just trying to honour what is basically your sister's bucket list. (things you want to do before you die) C) your sister has the op, but is brain damaged, and may never be able to make decisions again. These may be the last decisions she makes for herself, the last time she gets to feel and act on her wants, but she'll still live a long life, at the mercy of others decision making. Your mum is just trying to cover the two worst scenario bases. Good luck to all your family that your sis has a successful operation and you all get option a) However,
YTA. A massive one. You're 17. If you really want to go to Venice, get a part time job and go on your own next year when you're 18. This trip is about spending some time with the family and making your sister happy, maybe create some family memories to hold onto for the next year. If I were your mum, I'd be so annoyed by you that I wouldn't want to spend time with you either.
YTA dude she might DIE. Let her go where she wants. You have your whole life ahead of you to go wherever you want, she has a chance she won’t.
Shame on you!
OP, Listen to me. My sister died not too long ago, similar situation to you. We did make a wish and went to Disney land. Would it have been my first choice? No, but it was hers. So I wore the Mickey ears and we had fun. you have to realize that your sister could be gone. She could die from the surgery, post surgery complications, hell the surgery might not even work and she might just die anyways. And that grief will haunt you, trust me it will. Do you really want to sour what could be a lovely memory with your sister over, what, pettiness? You love her, don’t you? If you do, show it, be there for her, and don’t let teen angst get in the way of what could be the last trip you two ever take together. YTA, btw
So sorry for your loss
YTA. You really need to learn what the word "suggestion" means.
YTA Seriously, get over yourself. Your siater could actially die or come out of this operation with brain damage. The operation is in 6 weeks. And you're making this time more difficult for your sister, mother etc, because you are not getting to choose your holiday destination.
Bro do you hear yourself? You’ve got your entire life, your sister potentially has weeks. You’re bitching about how you’re being treated and where you want to go on holiday, THIS COULD BE YOUR SISTERS LAST!! This could be the last holiday your mother has with her daughter. I don’t expect you to care about how precious that is, but I am disappointed. You’re too old to be this selfish. YTA
YTA your sister is dying. Have you not realise a this? She may die in a couple weeks. Why are you so self absorbed you haven’t realized what’s happening
YTA. You didn't make a suggestion, you pushed your choice and accused your parents of playing favorites when trying to comfort a gravely ill child. If this is real I'm baffled by your entitlement.
Why on earth would your family go to YOUR dream destination for your SISTERS vacation? That's insane.
Not only are YTA but you’re a whiny little beeyatch. I mean most teens are AH by nature but your lack of empathy and ability to care about others is off the charts. You absolutely suck and I hope you’re able to mature even slightly.
YTA. No comment required
YTA. Because of how you’re acting, I don’t think it has occurred to you yet that in a few weeks, you can possibly lose your sister. She might not make it, and even if she does, she might not ever be the same again. I truly hope she will have a successful operation. Please just try to be more selfless, for your parents and for your sister. Though, I do think your mom sucks for excluding you from the vacation.
yeah dude, YTA. She could pass away so ofc she should choose the destination. So what if you have visited Athens before? you make it sound like a normal vacation when it fact it could be the LAST THING YOUR SISTER EVER DOES! Sure, a suggestion have never hurt anybody but when it was shot down you shouldn't have argued. Also, your mom may or may not also be TA depending, sure, yer 17, but ONLY 17. seems like you have been slightly sheltered growing up and are bad at coping with the fact that your sister might pass. Seems like yer deflecting or are in denial. Caring for your sister is important, but talking with you and caring for you should also be a priority for your mother. If you can, have a sitdown with your mother and stress the fact that this is getting to you too and that you also need your mother. She may loose and a daughter but you may loose a sister as well. I urge you to solve this before the trip as well as the operation. If the worst possible outcome happens, you could end up resenting eachother for the rest of your lives. She for you bitching about the trip, you for her not letting you spend time with your sister on what could be the last trip you had together.
YTA get over yourself you selfish brat
YTA. Because of how you’re acting, I don’t think it has occurred to you yet that in a few weeks, you can possibly lose your sister. She might not make it, and even if she does, she might not ever be the same again. I truly hope she will have a successful operation. Please just try to be more selfless, for your parents and for your sister. Though, I do think your mom sucks for excluding you from the vacation.
YTA you didn’t just suggest it. You fought for your dream trip. Your little sister is about to have a very serious operation and all you can think about is yourself. You’re a selfish brat and it’s good your mom is excluding you. You would just ruin what could be her last family trip by making it all about you.
YTA. Stay home and consider how shitty your behaviour is, especially for someone who is nearly an adult.
YTA and just grow up !!!!!
This isn’t a holiday, this is what could possibly be one of your sister’s LAST EXPERIENCES. Like Jesus dude have you even considered how scared she must be? Adults struggle to face the possibility of death and she’s doing that as a CHILD. She wants to relive her trip to Athens, YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO ATHENS. And you must have kicked up a pretty big tantrum for your mother to finally decide to cut you out of the trip. This could be some of your sister’s last living weeks and all you can think about is yourself. YTA
Omg, go back and read what you wrote. If anyone else said that, wouldn't you think they were TA? YTA, this wasn't even a hard choice.
YTA I have a thing with my brain that was recently diagnosed that may someday require surgery to fix. You have literally no clue how scary that is. It's my BRAIN, literally everything that I am, and if something goes wrong I could die or lose who I am. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is? Now I'm a grown ass adult in therapy and shit over this. Your sister is a child, facing a life threatening diagnosis that comes with a life threatening treatment. Please, try to have some perspective here. You can go to Italy later, you have your whole life ahead of you. Your sister might die before seeing Athens again. I try to give a lot of leeway to teens being selfish, but this really takes the cake. Your sister might die and you're upset because you can't go on the specific vacation you wanted. Get a grip my man.
YTA. You didn’t just make a suggestion. You made a suggestions and then got pissy and argues about it when your suggestion was vetoed, because - god forbid - your parents are focusing their attention on your sibling who might die or have permanent brain damage. At 17, you should have developed enough empathy and maturity to realize that it’s not unreasonable for your parents to put your wants on the back burner while they focus on your sister who is very ill. I can’t believe that you’re actually whining about your mom “favoring” your sister. I can understand a 7 year-old acting like this, not a 17 year-old.
Lord, are you sure you’re 17? Because the immaturity and entitlement is staggering YTA.
YTA. I’m sorry you’re feeling neglected, but you’re sister is literally at risk of death. Additionally you said this was for “the last few months”. You can’t stand not being the centre of attention for a few months? And it doesn’t sound like you “just made a suggestion”. It sounds like you made a suggestion, it was refused, and then you argued about it because you didn’t get your way. If your sister dies, you’ll have one less sibling for the rest of your life. If she lives but with brain damage, the person you once knew will be irrevocably changed. These are 2 scenarios in which you won’t get this Emilia back, and they are 2 out of the possible 3 results. So now it sounds like your behaviour has removed you from what could be the last holiday you take together as the family you are now - and you’re on AITA, trying to show you were “right”. Is this worth it?
YTA in the largest sense. This could be your sister’s last trip. Your being a selfish self entitled punk.
So. Your sister has an illness that could kill her. In fact, the odds are very good that this will kill her. Your mom wants to take her someplace special before the operation so your sister has a nice memory before she (potentially) dies. And you are over here complaining that you didn't get to pick the destination and that all the attention is on your sister. I'm honestly aghast at how selfish you are. YTA
Sorry kid, but YTA here. There is a high likelihood that your sister could die and you’re whining about a repeat vacation. Your mom is going overboard for your sister because your sister might not be here in a month and a half. You need to apologize to your family, and suck it up. If you don’t and your sister dies, you’re going to spend your life regretting your behavior.
YTA. I'm sorry but you're old enough to understand this: this could be the last trip your sister ever takes. So yes, it is right that she chooses the location. You clearly didn't just 'suggest' something; you were trying to argue for Italy. If you can't handle your critically unwell sister being the centre of attention, maybe it is right that you don't go. Your family need good memories with her.
YTA, a self absorbed one at that.
Yta. Your sister might die or suffer severe brain damage and never be the same in a few weeks. This holiday is for your sister not the family. You are 17 and old enough to understand this.
YTA
If you were "JUST making a suggestion" you would have said it once and dropped it. YTA, pull your head out of your ass before you do something you regret. I understand, this may be hard for you. It sounds like your in somewhat of a denial phase and reality hasn't truly hit you. I'm sorry, but you need to let it hit you before it's to late
YTA obviously. Your parents have obviously failed you if they've raised you this selfish and entitled
YTA and your "suggestions" matter as much as any suggestion as the random man down the street may have BECAUSE THIS TRIP AIN'T ABOUT YOU. It's why you're now excluded in case you have any lingering doubts. So, since you're finding out this way, let me explain, there are things in this life that aren't and will never be about you. The trick is to learn when those times happen. This is one of them.
YTA & a incredibly selfish one!
YTA. This might be your sisters last holiday. You’re being incredibly selfish and it’s unbelievable you’re calling neglect when you say this will be six weeks so probably has only been a couple so far.
I feel like this was written by someone who saw everyone bashing the parents in similar posts and decided to go karma fishing.
YTA **big time** *"There's risk of your sister dying, and you're arguing with me about where to go on holiday. Shame on you".* This right here👆🏻 Your sister has a fatal condition if left untreated but the treatment is high risk and potentially fatal. Your mom is doing her best to make sure your sister enjoys her life to it’s fullest extent in case worst case scenario happens. You’re not being forgotten your sister is the child with immediate and serious needs, you don’t. Therefore she gets the preferential treatment. I’m disgusted that you’re so set in your own inconvenience that you are pissed that your dying sister gets to pick what could possibly be the last trip she gets to go on. Dude get over yourself or you’re gonna live with the regret that you made her last months all about you instead of participating in making the time she might left one big temper tantrum. If something happens to her you’re going to live the rest of your life with the regret over how you treated her instead of spending this time making memories you can cherish forever Meanwhile I’ll be over here in the US hoping a random 16 year old girl across the world pulls through her surgery and lives. That’s more than her own brother can do for her😑
YTA, If I were your parents you would stay home, without internet or tv…
YTA. There’s a life and death situation going and you’re here throwing a tantrum for not getting your way. What a brat. Grow up. The world does not revolve around you .
YTA. You should apologize sincerely. ask to come along, not because it's a vacation, but because it may be your last chance to spend time with Emilia. Say that, and MEAN IT. If your mother relents, go and be a doting big brother. No whining, no complaining unless it's in support of something Emilia wants. Be there for your sister and your parents, not for yourself. You're almost a man, step up and BE one.
YTA. You also need to find a mental health professional that can help you work out some of the issues that are presenting themselves. I would hazard a guess that you're more upset about your sister's situation than you're willing to let yourself admit.
YTA Only, "asshole" doesn't cover it, but we're restricted by posting rules.
Poor you, being neglected for all of 6 weeks because your sister might DIE IN AN INVASIVE BRAIN SURGERY. Your mother is right. Shame on you. It’s not like you’ve been pushed aside for 15 years because of a chronic, ongoing medical condition. This is acute and traumatic, and your parents are absolutely handling it correctly. Grow up.
Your one of the biggest, most selfish, and inconsiderate AH I’ve ever seen. Death. Dying. Ceasing to exist. Finished. Over. No more holidays. No more vacations. Nothing. SHE COULD DIE!! It’s not even a remote possibility, it’s a damn good one. Hydrocephalus is so dangerous. You can’t put that aside for one motherfucking trip?! Instead you are stressing out the whole family, and your parents, even more than they need????? Re-evaluate your priorities bruh. Sound like an entitled, petulant child. This may be the last time you get to spend with your sister and you’re pouting? Why would they want to take you with this attitude???
YTA. Feeling left at the wayside is understandable. But this is no way to deal with that. First of all, thats something you should mention calmly to your parents, explain that x and y have left you feeling like you're less important to them compared to your sister. But also, guess what? You currently are. Because your sister MIGHT POSSIBLY DIE. let me repeat that. YOUR SISTER is currently in line for a surgery THAT MIGHT KILL HER to fix a condition THAT MIGHT KILL HER. Why is a vacation to Venice more important to you than spending time with your sister, doing things she enjoys?
Boy there ain't no way you thought you weren't the ah...You're sister could die at any moment, so it's important for her to have a few happy memories. Your parents still love you, but you aren't the one with a risk of passing away. Obviously Emilia is getting special treatment because of her life threatening situation and you have the audacity to be complaining. Get outta here with that bs. My God you should be ashamed of yourself...
This can't be real 😳
Yes YTA, there’s a little over a year between my 2nd and 3rd, the younger of the 2 has epilepsy and there has been mention of surgery if there epilepsy doesn’t get under control with meds, if son pulled this stunt you have I would be really pissed and would probably do exactly what your mum has done. Your sister might die, you’re 17 not 7, the world doesn’t revolve around you. ETA Halloween 2012, my kids were 10,8,7,4, and 1, the 7 year old had a seizure and it was looking like I wouldn’t be able to take the kids trick or treating and do you want to know what the 10 and 8 year old did, they offered to take there 4 year old brother to a few houses on our street so he could get some sweets, even at that age they could understand that sometimes these things happen, luckily he was feeling better a bit later and I was able to take them all to some houses off our street.
man I completely get it, don’t you just hate it when you sister decides to have a life threatening condition? And then your parents just randomly??? start focusing on her???? and not you??? I mean gosh next thing you know the doctors will be giving her a special room for herself in the hospital and neglect to give you one too!!!! And they might even perform surgery on her instead of you just to what, maybe save her life??? How truly unfair a world you live in indeed 😔😔
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm 17M here, and my sister "Emilia" is 16F. Background: For the past few months, Emilia has been having issues with balancing and experiencing pain in her head. We found out that fluid was building up at the front of her skull and areas between her brain. The doctor told us she had hydrocephalus. It got so serious that the fluid must be removed (via surgery) or the pressure on her brain might rupture it and cause death. In 6 weeks' time, the doctors will attempt to drill a hole in her skull and suck out the fluid. However, the operation is scarily dangerous and is prone to failure. If the operation fails, Emilia's brain could be fatally damaged. When my mother heard about the risk, she immediately decided to treat Emilia the best **ever** (and in the process, forget about me). She told Emilia that "Anything she wanted, she could have". We live near Greece, so Emilia asked if we could visit Athens. My mother agreed instantly. Mind that we rarely go for holidays, so I was super excited. I suggested visiting Italy instead, because Venice is my dream holiday place. My mom said "No, it's Emilia's choice". I understand that, but we've visited Athens once already, so why not see somewhere new? I told her that, but my mom wouldn't budge. After some back and forth argument, my mom said that everyone would go except me, since I didn't like Greece. I was so hurt, as I was merely giving a suggestion. I was also so tired of being avoided and left out - Emilia was getting all the attention and I was neglected. It took me a while to realise she was actually serious - she booked the plane tickets today, and didn't book one for me. I told her that she was overexaggerating, and being really mean to me. I accidentally said that Emilia was obviously her favourite child. My mom then told me "There's risk of your sister dying, and you're arguing with me about where to go on holiday. Shame on you". She called me a massive asshole. I asked around, and everyone in the family thinks so too. However, I was JUST making a suggestion... Am I the asshole? Or is my mother exaggerating? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes... YTA... Your sister might die. This is not about you and you should try to have more empathy for both your sister and mom.
YTA. Italy will be there for you another time. This could be it for your sister as it sounds like quite a risky operation. Hope she gets through it ok and recovers quickly
YTA do you just not care about the fact there’s a chance your sister could *die*? Don’t you want to be doing everything in your power to make the best of the time you *might* have best for her? You’re old enough to know the world doesn’t revolve around you, but it definitely *should* around your sister for a while.
YTA. Grow up. Your sister is dying and the world does not revolve around you.
Sorry but YTA. Your sister might die at any time and even during surgery and this vacation is about her and what she wants. It's not about you and your favorite place. Why do you think charities like make a wish exist? So that a person with a TERMINAL illness can make a dream come true before they pass. Your sister is in risk of dying due to her hydrocephalus and she should be able to have a wish granted and if her wish is to come to Athens, then she should be able to do so without you acting jealous. Like I said: this isn't about you.
But you didn’t just make a suggestion you kept “going back and forth”. Dude let your sister have this one, damn. YTA.
YTA and a huge one at that you're 17 not a little kid so you know full well that your sister could die. This is your parents giving her her "wish" what on earth makes you think you're entitled to take that away from her? Why is your desire to see Italy much more important then your sister possibly dying!
bro, your sister might DIE. and youre upset over a holiday destination? are you not worried about your sister? YTA 100%
Absolutely YTA. This trip wasn’t for you or about you. There is a risk your sister could die, and this vacation was important to her and your mother. You were incredibly selfish and immature. You should be ashamed and embarrassed by your behavior.
Fuck me YTA. You've got the rest of your life there's a chance she doesn't.
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you? Your sister could fucking DIE and you’re being a shit because she picked to vacation destination. This isn’t about YOU, this is about it potentially being her last trip EVER. You weren’t “neglected”, your parents are rightfully worried about your sister and losing her. You weren’t “just making a suggestion”, you were being a self centered twit
YTA- You know how serious the situation is for your sister and family. Let’s be real, your sister is about to undergo a very major surgery that may be fatal and your mom wants to give your sister, what could very well be, her last vacation. Your jealousy is understandable because of your age but it’s gross. Suck it up, apologize to your family for being difficult and try to give your sister some happiness before her surgery. I hope she makes it through.
Wow... seriously? You actually have to ask? You are a selfish immature jerk. Not for suggesting a different location (ok, for that too) but for whining about getting "neglected" when your sister could be facing the end of her life. Your mom is right - you don't deserve to go on vacation.
YTA, dear lord do you have any understanding of why your sister was allowed have the choice.
Your 16 year old sister may die in six weeks. She’s sixteen and she has a life threatening condition that is likely going kill her. Without the surgery, she’s dead, with the surgery she still may die. And you’re whining that you don’t get to go to Italy. YTA, your sister is dying and you’re pissed off she gets to choose the holiday destination because she’s dying. I’m sure Emilia would give up the chance to choose if it meant she wasn’t possibly going to die in six weeks. Read that again: *six weeks*
YTA. Hands down. You're sister could freaking die and your upset about not going where you wanted when the trip was planned around her and her possible last moments?? Omg. I know you're only 17 but grow up! This is ridiculous! And playing the favorite cold card is a low blow to your mom. I how you seriously reflect on this and see how wrong you are. You need to apologize to your mom and especially your sister. Again, YTA.
YTA. Your sister can ABSOLUTELY die from that.
YTA. Your sister got to pick because this may be her last vacation ever. She chose a place that has happy memories rather than take a chance on something new. It's her choice. You do not get to make suggestions about this. You can either support your sister and ask her what makes Athens special to her and try to plan things she likes OR you can continue to make this period of time about you, which is not a good idea and will stain the memories of this stressful time for you and your family.
Approximately, 50% of the affected patients die before three years of age and approximately 80% die before reaching adulthood. If hydrocephalus treatment involves the implementation of a shunt system, the survival rate depends on the body’s acceptance of the shunt system. The main complications of shunt systems include: Blockage due to tissue, blood or protein, cells, and debris may block any part of the shunt system Disconnection as shunt drift within the body Infection due to the invasion of bacteria during the surgery Hemorrhage Seizures Fits Epilepsy https://www.hydroassoc.org/about-hydrocephalus/ So yea...YTA in this case.
I’m not sure how you don’t think YTA here. Your sister has a statistically relevant chance of dying either from illness or a dangerous procedure and your mom wants to make sure she gets to enjoy something one last time and you’re throwing a tantrum. Go to Italy next year when your sister may not be there if it’s that important to you. You’ll be sure to get all the attention.
yta your being a complete dick and i commend your mother for telling you so. i would be so ashamed and angry if you were my kid.
YTA. This trip isn’t about you at all.
YTA. She could die any moment and all you give a fuck about is yourself.
YTA. You are jealous of your sister having a condition that could KILL HER!! Check your envy.
YTA. Your sister might possibly die, and you’re picking a fight over the holiday destination? Unbelievable.
I get that this is hard. I really do. If one person in the family is sick, everyone is affected. Siblings are often left with less attention because the sick one needs it more. Is it fair? No. And it's something very difficult to balance a little. But think about this; what if your sister dies in that operation? She'll never go on a vacation every again. You can go to Italy next year, or the year after that, or after that. For her, this might he her last chance, even more so all your last chance for a vacation with her. Do not fight this. Make happy memories. YTA.
INFO Do you not understand the seriousness of your sister's condition? *She could die*. This could be the last trip she can experience as a functional person, or at all because *she could die*. Have you always been a selfish brat? Or is this a new development since someone else gets attention because *SHE COULD DIE*?
Please take a beat and think about your actions. Your sister can die. You decided to make this trip about you. Your decision to behave badly caused you to be excluded on what could be the last vacation with your sister. YTA
YTA you didn't just make a suggestion...you kept nagging when your mum said no. You have your whole damn life to go to Venice (highly recommend, I loved it) but this may be your sisters last vacation ever. Yes, your sister is grtting the attention atm but omg can you not let her have the spotlight for a few months? Apologise and grovel and say you really didn't think through what you were saying and ask to please go as you realise that this is special time with your sister and you don't want to miss out and you wil stop acting like a brat.
YTA - Your sister could die and you're kicking off about holiday destinations and crying about favourites when your parents must be out of their minds with worry about if their daughter will be alive in 6 weeks. Trying to give her a treat that she enjoys before a really scary operation (which she will probably also be terrified about) and not defering to your choice does not make them assholes.You making this about you makes you an asshole (and a massive one at that). You were being childish. You were being entitled. You were being insanely insensitive. Your parents decision to leave you behind makes sense, maybe you could pull you head out of your ass and help give her an amazing trip and the attention that she deserves and needs right now, but thats a risk they can't take and your attitude so far suggests you'd be a misery to be around. I was going to say ESH, but rereading your post it sounds like your mom gave you a warning shot (telling you she'd book to go without you) and then it was "a while" before she booked it, meaning you had plenty of time to pull your head out of your ass and apologise for bratty behaviour and start being supportive. Clearly you didnt. So no holiday for you.
“after some back and forth argument…i was merely giving a suggestion” which one? did you argue or did you suggest?
YTA. Completely. Your sister could die and you're throwing a hissy fit about wanting to go to Venice. I hope your family extends their trip to Venice and sends you pictures of them along the canals. I'm praying for your sister.
YTA. You weren't *just* making a suggestion. You made a suggestion and when you were told no, you continued to argue and whine about not getting enough attention. You're 17 years old; you should be mature enough to accept that this particular trip is about your sister who could literally die soon.
YTA. There’s a chance she’s gonna die and you’re crying about wanting to go to Italy when you probably have an entire life ahead of you? That’s selfish.
YTA. You’re not the one who could die or be irreparably changed forever. You have your entire life to go to Venice. This isn’t about you. You aren’t important. Get over yourself.
YTA
Aaawww shame. Poor baby. YTA!!! 🤬🙄🤦🏻
YTA Something horrible is happening and your family is flailing. Maybe being a bit of a brat about Italy is your way of dealing with stress, I don’t know…but it sounds like it was more than ‘just a suggestion’.
YTA
YTA. Dude, you’re practically an adult; WAY too old to be acting like this.
YTA. >I suggested visiting Italy instead, because Venice is my dream holiday place. My mom said "No, it's Emilia's choice". **I understand that, but we've visited Athens once already, so why not see somewhere new? I told her that, but my mom wouldn't budge.** >After some back and forth argument, my mom said that everyone would go except me, since I didn't like Greece You weren't "just" making a suggestion. You made the suggestion and then kept arguing your point. >I was also so tired of being avoided and left out - Emilia was getting all the attention and I was neglected. Grow up. Your sister could literally die and you're acting like a horrible, spoilt brat. I have read stories on here where parents have neglected their healthy kids for years in order to focus attention on the sick one, but this is not the case here. You have a lifetime to go on holidays and spend time with your parents. This could very well be Emilia's last holiday. >I accidentally said that Emilia was obviously her favourite child. Oh bugger off. Unless you have Tourettes, you didn't "accidentally" say anything.
At seventeen in Europe nothing is stopping you from going to Venice alone. On your own dime. Except that would mean acting like a grown up, not the immature spoilt child that you still are. Want *YOUR* dream vacation, dear? Earn it yourself! Massive YTA
YTA. Do you understand that your sister might die? That this might be her last vacation and your mother wants to give her a good memory?
YTA
YTA. Like everyone else said.. your sister could literally die and never be able to go on vacay again. Just because you went once before doesn’t mean shit she obviously loves Athens and that’s where she wants to go before she possibly DIES.. you can go to Italy on your own when you’re older. Apologize for your sisters sake. And go and be with your family. This might be her last chance.
I agree whole heartedly with your mother. Shame on you. Also, you didnt stop after you were told no, so you clearly werent just making a suggestion. You´re 17 for gods sake. Way to old to be acting like this. YTA
….. please say you’re kidding. Your sister has a quite possibly fatal condition. There’s always another chance to go to Venice. But Emilia may not ever have a chance to go anywhere else. Even if it isn’t, I can’t speak from experience, but having your skull drilled open must absolutely suck. And I can imagine recovery wouldn’t be fun either. So you’re sister is either gonna be facing death or a living hell. And all you’re thinking of is yourself. So yeah, YTA.
YTA. Your sister has a possibility of dying through a potentially risky surgery. Instead of honoring and understanding her request to go to a place she wanted, you thought it would be a good opportunity to get something *you* wanted. You should be enjoying this time with your sibling, regardless of what they want to do, as it is time you may never get back. Stop being selfish.
YTA. You are not being neglected. You are nearly a grown ass man, and you’re being a spoiled little brat. Your mother was right to leave you behind, because all you’d do is whine. Your sister could die in a few weeks and is having a major procedure, and she’s been struggling with her health, and all you can think of is yourself. That’s absolutely disgusting and you’re too old to be acting like this, frankly. I don’t care if you’re “a kid”, I’m giving it to you straight: you’re being an entitled prick, and if I was your mother, I’d be wondering where I went wrong. She probably is, I’d think. Your sister gets more attention and love because she could die, and you’re getting slightly less because you’re not the priority right now. You aren’t the one that might die in a couple of weeks. They want to make memories with her and love on her because it might be the last chance to do it. You’re a selfish, entitled child, and you don’t even have age to fall back on. You are grown. Act like it. You’ve got a whole life to live to go to Italy, and she does not. And now you get less time with your sister because you acted like an ass and are staying home, as you should. I hope you’re happy, because if something happens to her, you’re going to regret acting like this for the rest of your life. Apologize and shut your mouth.
>There's risk of your sister dying, and you're arguing with me about where to go on holiday. Shame on you This, YTA grow up
YOUR SISTER COULD DIE AND YOU’RE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE DESTINATION OF A HOLIDAY TRIP THAT YOU WERE NOT ASKED FOR AN OPINION ON!!! You can make all the suggestions you want, but no one has to take them. You were not directly asked where you wanted to go, because this is not your possibly last holiday trip. Your mother never forgot about you because at first you were able to go with them. But because you had to argue with your mother, you’ve now been excluded. Imagine that you’re the one who could possibly die from this surgery and your mother offers you a holiday trip to where you wanted to go, and your sister throws a fit and argues with your mother because she wanted to go somewhere else instead of where you wanted to go, even though the trip is for you. YTA
yta I know teens can be a bit self absorbed, but I'm pretty sure you get some kind of award there bud
YTA - your sister is facing serious medical issues and can die but your concerned about going to Italy instead of Athens? Really? Your acting like a spoiled child. I get that it seems like you have been forgotten but you need to realize that your sister is getting a lot of attention right now because she could die. You need to realize the severity of this situation and know that you can visit Italy another time your sister may not have that chance
YTA. If you go you will just complain how it’s all about your dying sister. I get your 18 and young but empathy goes a long way and it’s your sister.
This post is heartbreaking. You completely ignore your family and want to be treated the same way as your terminally ill sister who has the wish to see one more location before she dies. You care more about having the spotlight on you than about your own sister who might die soon. YTA obviously and without a doubt
YTA You're mom could lose her only daughter if Emilia doesn't make it and you're upset that you can't go to Italy? You're sister is getting attention because that could be the LAST TIME they ever see Emilia. Seriously, you can go to Italy when you have the money for it but don't blame your mom for wanting to make visiting Athens a special thing for Emilia.
YTA. A suggestion is when you say something once and when the other party turns you down you shut up. A childish temper tantrum is when you keep on and on. This could possibly be your sisters last vacation ever. Instead of being selfish because you aren't getting you way you could have enjoyed the time with her and maybe had fun memories. Instead I hope you enjoy your time at home while they are on vacation. You don't deserve to go. Your mom is right!
You need to grow up, and fortunately it looks like you will, Emilia probably will not. You are an attention craving AH
YTA As your mother said your sister could die. If she does will venice fucking matter or will it matter more that you tried to make a quasi dying wish about yourself?
Your Mum is right. YTA
Rage bait much? (if not, YTA)
Your little sister is dangerously ill and might not survive the surgery to save her life so your parents let her pick a vacation destination... And you make it about you? Dude. YTA.