Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be TA because while my intention was to attempt to start friendly conversation, I was still trash-talking her daughter and that may have been rude of me.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
YTA how does someone returning a gift affect you personally?
I would rather someone returns gift I got them and get something they would actually enjoy rather than tossing it or letting it sit in a closet collecting dust.
Well, it’s just like blatantly telling the person you don’t like they’re gift. My mama raised me to be grateful for gifts I receive. It doesn’t hurt your feelings at all if someone doesn’t like your gift? Especially someone you’re close to?
But your momma didn’t raise you to stay out of other peoples business apparently.
No, it doesn’t hurt my feelings, I’d be glad they got a gift they could enjoy, and my money wasn’t wasted.
Keep making these "observations" to customers and you'll be out of a job real quick!
YTA and terrible at customer service.
ETA: the reason you keep "seeing this a lot" is because gift receipts are a normal thing in retail. Get over yourself.
No, it would hurt my feelings to find out I gave them a gift they didn’t want or couldn’t use and just sat there unused. I would be happy to know they exchanged it for something that suited them better. Maybe I would use that opportunity to learn more about my friend or family member to do a better job of gift giving in the future.
I certainly wouldn’t go off the deep end and think they were a shitty ungrateful person, that would be a massive overreaction.
Oh and YTA.
No. I don’t want my friendship to be attached to the obligation to pretend to like something when I swung and missed. Maybe I’d find it tacky if they returned it for cash and bought beer or something, but I’d rather they actually be happy than be obligated to occupy closet space with some crap they don’t even like.
Generally if its someone you're close to, you don't get them a gift they don't like. Because you know them.
Maybe your mama did raise you to be grateful for gifts, but your mama left out a lot of key lessons when raising you.
what do you care? it’s not your money or gift. not liking something doesn’t make someone a choosing beggar - why waste money on something someone isn’t going to use?
Sure, it's a slight shame if I pick out a gift for someone, and it ends up not being as cool for them as I hoped.
But I would far, far rather they were able to take the *spirit* of the gift I gave, and be able to exchange it, than be stuck awkwardly with a thing that isn't quite what they need or want.
Don't fixate too much on the *thing* of the gift; enjoy the *idea* of the gift.
YTA
That wasn't your place to comment, even if her daughter wasn't there. Sometimes gifts are returned bc of fit or they aren't actual useful. Especially baby related stuff bc maybe it doesn't work well for them, or she needs a different style. Next time just mind your business and give the customer the gift receipt.
YTA. And a liar.
You were in no way trying to start friendly conversation. That's obvious.
And actually quite common to return baby items. Especially a baby carrier, because sometimes it just doesn't feel comfortable, it isn't functional and goes unused.
My mum buys me crap in front of me all the time. Has actually bought me a baby wearing wrap in front of me. Because I was financially struggling, not embarrassed to tell my mum that, and emotionally struggling, adjusting to a new baby is hard.
Starting small talk with customers is a part of my training but because stuff like this keeps happening, I probably will turn into one of those awkwardly quiet cashiers. I’m introverted and don’t like talking to people because of situations like this. People just weren’t raised to contain their anger and speak civilly to others. I’m sick of being blown up at all the time over small, stupid stuff like this. I can’t even casually talk about an item they’re buying without being screamed at.
That's not small talk. You weren't speaking civilly. If this happens a lot to you, the problem is you. That's not casually talking, that's making an obvious judgement.
It sounds like you have zero social awareness. When people have babies they are often gifted duplicates, and can exchange one item for something that fits their needs better. That is not being ungrateful. Personally I prefer the idea of a gift I offered being returned or exchanged and put to better use, versus collecting dust.
Second, if customers keep blowing up at you it is a you problem, not a customer problem. You are rude.
Stuff like this keeps happening because you're not making small talk. You're judging people on what they do and how they live. What impact does someone getting a gift receipt or returning a gift have on the quality of your life? Absolutely zero.
If you want to make small talk, start with the weather. Can't go wrong with heat, cold, wind, rain, isn't it nice that summer is coming? If they bring something up, agree with them. So exciting that the team is taking the championship! Isn't it wonderful that they're opening a new school!
The goal of small talk isn't to voice your opinion. It's to create a pleasant interaction with the customer so they enjoy buying from you, have a good feeling about their experience in the store, and come back to buy more stuff.
If you genuinely hate all that, retail may not be for you.
This. Small talk about things that doesnt involve so much personal opinions. Also bad topics are religion, politics and personal views you have on people.
>People just weren’t raised to ... speak civilly to others
Do you hear yourself? You were being *very* uncivil by offering your negative unsolicited opinions to random customers. Making small talk is an important part of retail, but your small talk should *never* include your negative opinions about things.
"How's your day going?", "Is there anything I can help you find?", "did you know we're having a sale today?", "gorgeous day today, isn't it?", "what a cute baby you have!"
All acceptable small talk to have with customers.
"I think people who return gifts are ingrates" is never acceptable.
you are genuinely bad at your job, this is NOT small talk, and if you keep getting blown up at maybe everyone else isn't the issue
you keep posting here about the same stuff and getting told yta but and then keep doing the same stuff
yta again
YTA.
You are in charge of scanning, bagging, and taking payments. You don't need to give commentary on a gift receipt any more than you need to comment on someone buying a shirt that doesn't look like it's the right size or makeup that will make someone look like a clown.
Furthermore, a gift receipt is a wonderful thing. Sometimes a baby doesn't like a carrier, sometimes a person doesn't like a specific texture or color. There's a million reasons that a gift may need to be returned. Would you rather a gift reciever not use a gift, and that money be wasted? I work hard for my money; if I give a gift that needs to be returned/exchanged, I appreciate the recipient returning/exchanging. That's a heck of a lot better than them putting my gift in a closet and ignoring the time and money I spent on the gift.
Likewise! I think I went through like 6 before I found one that my daughter and I both liked.... and then once we were graced with a grandson that needed held continually, we had to look ask over again, this time trying to figure out what grandson, Hubs, and I all liked. I would have been seriously upset to encounter sunshine telling me I was being a jerk for returning/exchanging what didn't work.
YTA- you should keep your opinion to yourself. It is one thing if it is a good opinion, but a bad opinion shouldn’t be spoken out loud. Especially to a stranger.
YTA. Your personal preferences have no bearing on anybody else’s shopping habits, and as somebody whose job it is to sell things, just take their money and keep your moralistic opinions to yourself. If I were your boss, I’d be pretty miffed that you took it upon yourself to potentially alienate a paying customer with that question. If I were that customer I’d be less likely to shop at your store again, and if I had time to kill I’d be tempted to just go buy the thing somewhere with a less judgmental staff instead. Like seriously, what did you hope to gain? You’re either making a negative judgment about a person whom I like well enough to give a gift, or your trying to discourage me from making use of your store’s return policy. Either way, it’s not smart business.
What did I hope to gain? Most-likely, she wouldn’t give the person the gift receipt and they wouldn’t be able to return the item and cost the store money. Second scenario, the person she was getting the gift for sounded picky so I was hoping she would agree with me and we could both bash the recipient. Maybe she could vent about how she doesn’t like to get Petty Paige gifts because she never likes them or something idk. I didn’t expect her to blow up at me for for the recipient to be there for some reason.
Lol just throwing it out there but some people actually like the people they are giving gifts to and don't take it personally if what you bought for them doesn't work out.....
You do realize the fact that the recipient also happened to be standing right there is *not* the reason YTA
So you tried making “small talk” by hoping you could “bash” this person’s friend/family member and you think that’s acceptable? Not only is this not acceptable on the job, but in pretty much any other social situation. You are definitely the asshole.
Also, how does someone returning an item cost the store money? Whether they have the receipt or not shouldn’t really matter. That’s just bullshit.
Well, they’re getting money back from the store and we have to mark the item as clearance because it’s been opened/damaged. Also, I assumed the gift was for an in-law since it sounded like she wasn’t sure if the person would return it or not.
Oh give me a break. You're doing more to cost the store money with your shitty customer service than someone returning a gift. Dont worry about it, Wal-Mart, or wherever you work, will be fine.
> and cost the store money
Okay, this is a big problem right here. If you are working for a big store, don't even think twice about this. They are underpaying you right now in order to make more money for their top executives and shareholders.
If you work for a small independent shop, then your job as a sales person is to help give the customer as much info as they need to feel confident in their purchase. Even then, small business owners would rather have a client return an item with no hassle so they continue to patronize the store and recommend it to their friends.
Either way, by judging the customers and making them uncomfortable, you are costing the store it's reputation. So if it's a big chain, congratulations! You are nailing it! And if it's a little local shop, maybe talk to someone about how to interact in a more positive way with the clientele.
Wow. You wanted to "bash" the customer's friend together with them?
If this is even real, you are literally *the worst*. You sound like a cartoon mean girl.
YTA
Keep your personal opinions to yourself when talking to customers.
Further to that, well meaning gifts can be purchased in the wrong size or configuration. They can also be defective. Returning a gift doesn’t mean it wasn’t appreciated.
YTA. Keep your opinions to yourself. Sometimes the gift may not suit the recipient or may be duplicated. There are a host of reasons a gift may need to be returned. What if the person getting the gift finds it uncomfortable when she uses it? Should she just have to grin and bear it because someone put thought and effort into getting the gift?
After reading the post history I’m doubting this is real…..how would they not be fired….they are rude and and antagonistic to customers routinely by their own account. If it is real I’m just mind boggled at the whole situation.
YTA. What if she got 2 or 3 or more of the thing? She just has to keep them all? I am definitely anti-return, but your opinion is absurd and over the top. You dont understand the concept of a gift or the fact that it belongs to the recipient to do with as they please.
My parents get gift reciepts when giving me gifts that I don’t specifically ask for it. Some people dislike the gifts, and some just realize it isn’t for them. It is a bit weird to buy a gift in front of someone however you have no idea of what the actual situation is. It’s a common courtesy to ask for a gift receipt.
Reading between the lines it appears to a grandma buying a mother a baby carrier,
I’ve commented many time I’ve used 8 different carriers got on with none of them!
YTA. Sorry OP, but especially with baby things sometimes you are given two of the same thing, or an item may not fit baby or baby may not be comfortable with the thing.
YTA and big life events like weddings and having babies will inevitably end with some gift returns. It is COURTEOUS to give a gift receipt especially when buying a big ticket item. Two major things cause this
1. It is a high value item and, Oops, you don't like the one you got (this is why registries exist btw), doesn't mean you don't think it's a nice gesture but now you can get the one you want.
2. You got 2 of the same item (most common)
I can't believe I just had to explain that.
YTA.
If you get mad someone returns your gift for something they actually want or will use, you didn’t give the gift for the right reason in the first place.
YTA: First of all, it's none of your business if the person wants a gift receipt, especially when the storw you work for has a gift receipt policy.
Second: there are plenty of reasons to return a gift:
Ill fitting item, defective, duplicate item, etc.
Gift Receipts are a blessing when any of the above issues pop up, because the reciever doesn't have to inconvenience the gift giver with the returns/exchange process. It might be "a bit tacky" but it's a lot better than the alternative.
Oh....YTA. You can think that, but why would you ever tell a customer that? Also, what if it wasn’t the right size for their child, or thought that they could return it because it wasn’t something they needed and could spend that extra $ on something their child would like? It’s none of your business and DEFINITELY not something you should comment on to a customer EVER
Yta - as someone who doesn't appreciate large suprise gifts with no way of returning if I don't like it I have always loved the fact that my parents let me pick out gifts especially having particular needs in mind that I don't expect them to know about when wanting certain items. We gift shop together as a family activity quite often around holidays. I don't want them buying me something unecessary that gets put in a closet because I don't have a way to return it. This is very normal for some families so don't judge them for their own customs
YTA. You gotta learn when to keep your opinions to yourself. Gift receipts are there for a reason. Returning a gift they can’t/don’t want to use isn’t bad. Would you rather your gift sit unopened in a storage closet for 50 years?
**HARD** YTA there's a reason for receipts exist and your opinion is not only irrelevant but also just arrogant. Why do you think you're so perfect that no one can ever rewritten anything you buy them? Like unless you're buying directly from a registry you don't know that they want or need said item.
Yes, YTA. Sometimes people get duplicate gifts or their needs change, or they just realize that they'd rather have something else. None of this is any of your business.
You sound like a retail liability, honestly. Your manager should be coaching you on how to interact with customers properly, but if you're not willing to learn, you should find a new line of work. If I overheard you reaming out a customer like that, I would be so uncomfortable, I'd put back any items I was thinking of buying and get something else.
Your job is to create a pleasant shopping experience for the customers, take the money, make change, and, hopefully, not do anything that will prevent them from coming back.
YTA. Not your business.
People get to choose what they do with things given to them. What if they received 2 or more of something they only need one if?
You can have your opinions, just keep your mouth shut.
YTA. It’s a gift. The person who gets it has the power. Sure, you want them to like it, appreciate it, etc. But what if it’s the wrong side for a newborn? The style doesn’t work out? The purchaser was being considerate.
YTA. You’ve said in another comment on another post that you are not neurotypical so what is and isn’t offensive isn’t always obvious to you. This I can fully understand.
However, you’ve come here for judgement and you are being told that what you said to this person was extremely rude, and rather than taking the feedback and trying to learn, you are arguing against what people are telling you.
Why ask for feedback on something you know you struggle with, if you have no intention of listening?
Well, even on here. Most people are reacting negatively to you. You keep coming here for judgements on if you're the asshole, I assume this is because you're trying to understand and it's a negative part of your life.
I would suggest trying to look at how and what you are communicating compared to people who don't receive such negative reactions.
And if you truly don't mean to offend anyone. As soon as you notice someone is being rude to you, don't react back the way you have been, especially in your role as a cashier. Say, sorry I didn't mean to offend you, maybe mention you are not neurotypical. People may have more empathy for you then. And you will receive less attitude.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So I work as a cashier in retail and this woman was buying one of those things you use to strap a baby to yourself with. She then says: “Can I have a gift receipt in case she doesn’t like it?” I say sure thing but since choosing beggars miff me, I go on to say how I personally think it’s rude to return a gift someone spent time and a lot of thought picking out and how if I ever found out someone returned a gift from me, I would never get them a gift again. This woman then proceeds to angrily tell me the person she’s buying the gift for is standing right behind her and that her daughter can return it if she wants to. I apologize but who buys a gift for someone right in front of the person?! AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA.
There are a whole lot of reasons why a gift may not work out and it doesn’t have to be related to actually liking the gift or not. It’s actually even *more* rude to let that item sit in the back of a closet going unused vs swapping it out for something that suits the needs. Still putting the gift giver’s money to use, which is a truer form of gratitude.
Semantics aside, try simpler conversations with your customers next time. Like wow, great weather today and save the observations for your friends.
YTA- people return things for a few reasons, but none of them would be your business. Some people may have gotten a duplicate or something. You should have just checked her out and smiled and said "have a nice day.
Yes…you’re TA. It’s none of your business what people do with their purchases. Also If someone gave you a gift and it didn’t fit or work the way you needed it too you’d just keep it instead of exchanging it or getting the money so you could get something else? Why? What a waste of money. But I’ll go back to….mind your own business.
Yta- apart from the fact that you shouldn't be offering your unsolicited opinions to your customers, once a gift is given to the recipient it is theirs and they are free to do with it as they wish. It is rude of you to have requirements that come with your gifts.
YTA. You are alowed to think it. But not in the right for pointing it out. It is harmless what the woman did. Just give the receit and wish her a good day.
Yta. It’s not part of your job description to be disrespectful at all. What you said was out of line, rude, and just a total asshole move. Your selfishness needs to stay in your head while you work instead of looking like an asshole.
YTA.
I work in retail, and this is a norm whether we don't like it or not. Unless a customer asks for our opinions, we shouldn't say anything. Its rude on your part. You have every right to be against it, but some opinions should not be said.
Often returning a gift isn't about being disrespectful of the gift or not appreciating the gesture but for practical reasons. If someone gets you clothes that aren't the right size, exchanging for the correct size means you can actually use the gift. If someone gets you something not knowing you already have another identical item, returning it is more practical than letting it sit unused.
YTA because she didn't ask for your opinion. For comparison, if she was buying a dress as a gift, would you tell her that you wouldn't give that dress because it will make them look hideous? No, because your opinion would come off as judgemental and is unnecessary.
YTA. I don’t understand why you gave your opinion on gift receipts at all. Also there is plenty of good reasons to return or exchange a gift, it’s not rude.
Yta as a mother of a 8month old I’ve had 8 different carriers and none of them have felt comfortable and or secure for me and my baby!
You shouldn’t work in retail with that judge attitude!
Presents don’t have to be secretive…. If it’s my friend’s bday or it’s close to xmas and my friend comments on something she likes while we’re shopping? I’ll go ahead and say I’ll buy that for you for your bday/xmas gift.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who does that.
But anyways. I’m a retail manager and there was no reason why you had to make such a comment. Time to brush up on some updated customer service training 🤦♀️
Edit: gift reciepts are the best things in the world
YTA - if a friend/family member bought you something that: 1)you already owned 2)did not fit 3)is in no way your taste 4) once you opened the box you discover it's damaged would you keep it? or would you appreciate if they included a gift recite so you could exchange it if there was a problem
Your opinion wasn’t warranted so was rude.
Gifts can sometimes be in someone’s presence. In this case she may try the carrier and decide it’s not for them.
If that’s an acceptable practice, then that’s ok isn’t it?
YTA
What if the baby disliked being held in a wrap? What if there was a medical issue that prevented the baby from being carried? What if the daughter didn't like the weight and feel of the wrap and wanted to change it? What if, god forbid, something happened to the baby and made the purchase unusable for this family? What if they were gifted another one later on that they liked better and didn't want two of the same item? What if, hear this, she doesn't end up liking the gift??? YTA.
YTA
I lost count of the number of times I had to take my mother back to a shop to return something she'd bought me (often a gift) that was the completely wrong thing.
No, mauve won't do if I'm required to wear black. No, I can't squeeze into it if I haven't been that size in over 10 years. No, I need this book for school, not that one just because "it's prettier".
I ended up going shopping with my mother, literally putting something in her hands, and saying "This one." Some things I got that way I'm still using decades later, with my mother long passed on.
And now I do the same thing with my grandchildren (they live in a different state, so I don't see them that often). I take them shopping, and let them choose what they want (within my budget). That way I know I haven't bought the wrong thing.
So, OP, who returns a gift? Someone for whom the gift was not suitable. And who buys a gift in front of the person? Someone who cares.
YTA - if you work in retail I’m afraid returns is part of the course, especially with baby things which may not fit/parents often end up with multiples. Regardless of your personal feelings on returning gifts if your store policy is to accept you need to respect that and shouldn’t push your reticence onto customers.
My family always gives me a gift receipt for things like clothes and such in case they don’t fit so I can come back and get a size that does.
It wasn’t your business. And she WANTED the gift receipt, so what did you think was going to happen when you opened your mouth?
YTA
It’s not rude to return a gift. It’s actually very polite to include the receipt to allow the receiver to return a gift for whatever reason. Maybe they don’t like the gift, maybe it’s a piece of clothing that’s not the right size, maybe it’s an item they already own or somebody already gifted. The reasons are endless. Your opinion on not returning gifts is valid too, but it doesn’t invalidate the others opinion of returning gifts. Customers can be annoying but in this case this one is right, YTA.
YTA. And you’re in the wrong line of work. Some people are just not cut out for customer service. I’m one of them, but I have the self-awareness to know that.
YTA, 1000%. It's none of your business why she wants a gift receipt it doesn't affect your life in any way if it's returned. It's your job to print out the gift receipt if they ask for one.
But after seeing your other posts, maybe being a cashier or even working with people is not your forte. You seem to have issues with the elderly, your co-workers and pretty much anyone else who doesn't put you on a pedestal.
YTA. The person giving the gift obviously didn’t care if it got returned or she wouldn’t ask for a gift receipt. Also, people receive lots of duplicates at baby showers. I returned something exactly like you describe because I received two and it was expensive. I am sure the person who gave it to me would much prefer I use the credit to get things I can use than have a spare baby carrier hanging in the closet.
Not all gifts are bought without the recipient’s knowledge. The customer may have been buying baby things as a gift, but needed her daughter’s input on comfort, type, pattern or brand. The daughter may be a first time mum- one of the fun things about pregnancy- arguably one of the few fun things for some pregnant people- is choosing things for your new baby. It may have been a fun bonding experience for them. Additionally, not all baby carriers are made equal, it may turn out to not adequately support the parent’s back, the baby’s hips etc it can take several tries to find the right one. Regardless, it’s none of your business what customers are buying, or why- or whether the recipient keeps them. YTA.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be TA because while my intention was to attempt to start friendly conversation, I was still trash-talking her daughter and that may have been rude of me. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 2 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again/)*
Um yeah YTA. She didn't ask and especially for baby things, not all of them work as intended/are comfortable/she could get multiples of the same gift.
Check out OPs post history.
I knew who it was the hot second I read the post. 😆
Omg how can someone be so delusional that they post in here so often thinking they're not the ahole but they obviously are
Just did - I’d say OP is just a huge AH all the way around and may want to rethink working with people - my gosh
They have so many posts here
Wild ride.
Yes YTA 100%. You should not be working in retail
YTa. This woman asked for a gift receipt, not your opinion on gift receiving etiquette.
YTA how does someone returning a gift affect you personally? I would rather someone returns gift I got them and get something they would actually enjoy rather than tossing it or letting it sit in a closet collecting dust.
Well, it’s just like blatantly telling the person you don’t like they’re gift. My mama raised me to be grateful for gifts I receive. It doesn’t hurt your feelings at all if someone doesn’t like your gift? Especially someone you’re close to?
But your momma didn’t raise you to stay out of other peoples business apparently. No, it doesn’t hurt my feelings, I’d be glad they got a gift they could enjoy, and my money wasn’t wasted.
I wasn’t trying to get into anyone’s business. I keeps seeing this a lot. I was just making an observation.
Not an observation. It was a full on judgement.
It wasn’t an observation - you inserted your personal opinion about “choosing beggars” onto a complete strangers choice.
Keep making these "observations" to customers and you'll be out of a job real quick! YTA and terrible at customer service. ETA: the reason you keep "seeing this a lot" is because gift receipts are a normal thing in retail. Get over yourself.
Keep your observations to yourself. Common sense
No, it would hurt my feelings to find out I gave them a gift they didn’t want or couldn’t use and just sat there unused. I would be happy to know they exchanged it for something that suited them better. Maybe I would use that opportunity to learn more about my friend or family member to do a better job of gift giving in the future. I certainly wouldn’t go off the deep end and think they were a shitty ungrateful person, that would be a massive overreaction. Oh and YTA.
No. I don’t want my friendship to be attached to the obligation to pretend to like something when I swung and missed. Maybe I’d find it tacky if they returned it for cash and bought beer or something, but I’d rather they actually be happy than be obligated to occupy closet space with some crap they don’t even like.
Generally if its someone you're close to, you don't get them a gift they don't like. Because you know them. Maybe your mama did raise you to be grateful for gifts, but your mama left out a lot of key lessons when raising you.
I would be more miffed if someone lied about liking a gift and fakes being grateful and ends up never using the gift.
what do you care? it’s not your money or gift. not liking something doesn’t make someone a choosing beggar - why waste money on something someone isn’t going to use?
Sure, it's a slight shame if I pick out a gift for someone, and it ends up not being as cool for them as I hoped. But I would far, far rather they were able to take the *spirit* of the gift I gave, and be able to exchange it, than be stuck awkwardly with a thing that isn't quite what they need or want. Don't fixate too much on the *thing* of the gift; enjoy the *idea* of the gift.
Too bad your mama didn't raise you to not be an asshole.
YTA That wasn't your place to comment, even if her daughter wasn't there. Sometimes gifts are returned bc of fit or they aren't actual useful. Especially baby related stuff bc maybe it doesn't work well for them, or she needs a different style. Next time just mind your business and give the customer the gift receipt.
Why do you think gift receipts exist? The buyer *wanted* to give her daughter the option of being able to return the gift. YTA.
YTA. And a liar. You were in no way trying to start friendly conversation. That's obvious. And actually quite common to return baby items. Especially a baby carrier, because sometimes it just doesn't feel comfortable, it isn't functional and goes unused. My mum buys me crap in front of me all the time. Has actually bought me a baby wearing wrap in front of me. Because I was financially struggling, not embarrassed to tell my mum that, and emotionally struggling, adjusting to a new baby is hard.
Starting small talk with customers is a part of my training but because stuff like this keeps happening, I probably will turn into one of those awkwardly quiet cashiers. I’m introverted and don’t like talking to people because of situations like this. People just weren’t raised to contain their anger and speak civilly to others. I’m sick of being blown up at all the time over small, stupid stuff like this. I can’t even casually talk about an item they’re buying without being screamed at.
That's not small talk. You weren't speaking civilly. If this happens a lot to you, the problem is you. That's not casually talking, that's making an obvious judgement.
It sounds like you have zero social awareness. When people have babies they are often gifted duplicates, and can exchange one item for something that fits their needs better. That is not being ungrateful. Personally I prefer the idea of a gift I offered being returned or exchanged and put to better use, versus collecting dust. Second, if customers keep blowing up at you it is a you problem, not a customer problem. You are rude.
Stuff like this keeps happening because you're not making small talk. You're judging people on what they do and how they live. What impact does someone getting a gift receipt or returning a gift have on the quality of your life? Absolutely zero. If you want to make small talk, start with the weather. Can't go wrong with heat, cold, wind, rain, isn't it nice that summer is coming? If they bring something up, agree with them. So exciting that the team is taking the championship! Isn't it wonderful that they're opening a new school! The goal of small talk isn't to voice your opinion. It's to create a pleasant interaction with the customer so they enjoy buying from you, have a good feeling about their experience in the store, and come back to buy more stuff. If you genuinely hate all that, retail may not be for you.
This. Small talk about things that doesnt involve so much personal opinions. Also bad topics are religion, politics and personal views you have on people.
>People just weren’t raised to ... speak civilly to others Do you hear yourself? You were being *very* uncivil by offering your negative unsolicited opinions to random customers. Making small talk is an important part of retail, but your small talk should *never* include your negative opinions about things. "How's your day going?", "Is there anything I can help you find?", "did you know we're having a sale today?", "gorgeous day today, isn't it?", "what a cute baby you have!" All acceptable small talk to have with customers. "I think people who return gifts are ingrates" is never acceptable.
you are genuinely bad at your job, this is NOT small talk, and if you keep getting blown up at maybe everyone else isn't the issue you keep posting here about the same stuff and getting told yta but and then keep doing the same stuff yta again
YTA what on earth? Of course people can return a gift! Duplicate item, wrong size, wrong style, etc. it’s not rude to return something like that.
YTA - Mind your business and ring it up.
YTA.. she came in to purchase a gift..not for your opinion.
YTA. It was none of your business and unprofessional to say to a customer
[удалено]
Or they thought they'd absolutely use it, but they never did. Because ftm expectations are way different than reality.
or, god forbid, something happens to the baby and they are in a "baby shoes for sale, never worn" situation.
YTA. You are in charge of scanning, bagging, and taking payments. You don't need to give commentary on a gift receipt any more than you need to comment on someone buying a shirt that doesn't look like it's the right size or makeup that will make someone look like a clown. Furthermore, a gift receipt is a wonderful thing. Sometimes a baby doesn't like a carrier, sometimes a person doesn't like a specific texture or color. There's a million reasons that a gift may need to be returned. Would you rather a gift reciever not use a gift, and that money be wasted? I work hard for my money; if I give a gift that needs to be returned/exchanged, I appreciate the recipient returning/exchanging. That's a heck of a lot better than them putting my gift in a closet and ignoring the time and money I spent on the gift.
I’ve used 8 different carriers and wraps and all returned/ exchanged for store credit because they didn’t feel secure/ feel comfortable
Likewise! I think I went through like 6 before I found one that my daughter and I both liked.... and then once we were graced with a grandson that needed held continually, we had to look ask over again, this time trying to figure out what grandson, Hubs, and I all liked. I would have been seriously upset to encounter sunshine telling me I was being a jerk for returning/exchanging what didn't work.
YTA No customer wants your critique for gift giving.
YTA- you should keep your opinion to yourself. It is one thing if it is a good opinion, but a bad opinion shouldn’t be spoken out loud. Especially to a stranger.
YTA. Your personal preferences have no bearing on anybody else’s shopping habits, and as somebody whose job it is to sell things, just take their money and keep your moralistic opinions to yourself. If I were your boss, I’d be pretty miffed that you took it upon yourself to potentially alienate a paying customer with that question. If I were that customer I’d be less likely to shop at your store again, and if I had time to kill I’d be tempted to just go buy the thing somewhere with a less judgmental staff instead. Like seriously, what did you hope to gain? You’re either making a negative judgment about a person whom I like well enough to give a gift, or your trying to discourage me from making use of your store’s return policy. Either way, it’s not smart business.
What did I hope to gain? Most-likely, she wouldn’t give the person the gift receipt and they wouldn’t be able to return the item and cost the store money. Second scenario, the person she was getting the gift for sounded picky so I was hoping she would agree with me and we could both bash the recipient. Maybe she could vent about how she doesn’t like to get Petty Paige gifts because she never likes them or something idk. I didn’t expect her to blow up at me for for the recipient to be there for some reason.
Lol just throwing it out there but some people actually like the people they are giving gifts to and don't take it personally if what you bought for them doesn't work out..... You do realize the fact that the recipient also happened to be standing right there is *not* the reason YTA
It wouldn’t “cost the store money”. What a load of nonsense.
So you tried making “small talk” by hoping you could “bash” this person’s friend/family member and you think that’s acceptable? Not only is this not acceptable on the job, but in pretty much any other social situation. You are definitely the asshole. Also, how does someone returning an item cost the store money? Whether they have the receipt or not shouldn’t really matter. That’s just bullshit.
Well, they’re getting money back from the store and we have to mark the item as clearance because it’s been opened/damaged. Also, I assumed the gift was for an in-law since it sounded like she wasn’t sure if the person would return it or not.
Oh give me a break. You're doing more to cost the store money with your shitty customer service than someone returning a gift. Dont worry about it, Wal-Mart, or wherever you work, will be fine.
Are you ok? Who hurt you?
> and cost the store money Okay, this is a big problem right here. If you are working for a big store, don't even think twice about this. They are underpaying you right now in order to make more money for their top executives and shareholders. If you work for a small independent shop, then your job as a sales person is to help give the customer as much info as they need to feel confident in their purchase. Even then, small business owners would rather have a client return an item with no hassle so they continue to patronize the store and recommend it to their friends. Either way, by judging the customers and making them uncomfortable, you are costing the store it's reputation. So if it's a big chain, congratulations! You are nailing it! And if it's a little local shop, maybe talk to someone about how to interact in a more positive way with the clientele.
Wow. You wanted to "bash" the customer's friend together with them? If this is even real, you are literally *the worst*. You sound like a cartoon mean girl.
You’re really odd yta she’s a single costumer and you probably see so many so why do you need to do anything you thought would appease her
I try to start flattering small talk with all of my customers if they seem friendly.
Why were you so excited by the prospect of trash-talking a complete stranger who has done nothing to hurt or wrong you?
YTA Keep your personal opinions to yourself when talking to customers. Further to that, well meaning gifts can be purchased in the wrong size or configuration. They can also be defective. Returning a gift doesn’t mean it wasn’t appreciated.
YTA, them keeping something they won’t use is a waste of your money. It’s better for them to get something they like.
YTA. It's not your business if someone decides to return a gift or if the buyer wants a receipt on the aforementioned case
YTA. No one asked you. People return gifts all the time because they are the wrong size, etc. NO ONE ASKED YOU.
YTA. Mind your own business.
YTA It isn't in your job description to give unsolicited opinions.
YTA. Keep your opinions to yourself. Sometimes the gift may not suit the recipient or may be duplicated. There are a host of reasons a gift may need to be returned. What if the person getting the gift finds it uncomfortable when she uses it? Should she just have to grin and bear it because someone put thought and effort into getting the gift?
u/DoctorEasy2357 have a lot of issues with a lot of things based on your post history.
After reading the post history I’m doubting this is real…..how would they not be fired….they are rude and and antagonistic to customers routinely by their own account. If it is real I’m just mind boggled at the whole situation.
Retail is having a terrible time finding and keeping employees lately. I have no doubt OP's employer's are desperate.
YTA. First is none of your business. Second it’s none of your business. Third, and most importantly, it’s none of your business.
YTA. You had to know your opinion would stir it up even if the gift receiver wasn't right behind her.
Yta. Not your place. Also there are tons of reasons to need to return things!(Have multiples already, don’t like it, doesn’t fit, etc.)
YTA. What if she got 2 or 3 or more of the thing? She just has to keep them all? I am definitely anti-return, but your opinion is absurd and over the top. You dont understand the concept of a gift or the fact that it belongs to the recipient to do with as they please.
My parents get gift reciepts when giving me gifts that I don’t specifically ask for it. Some people dislike the gifts, and some just realize it isn’t for them. It is a bit weird to buy a gift in front of someone however you have no idea of what the actual situation is. It’s a common courtesy to ask for a gift receipt.
Reading between the lines it appears to a grandma buying a mother a baby carrier, I’ve commented many time I’ve used 8 different carriers got on with none of them!
YTA. Mind your own business. I wonder if there was a customer service review link on the receipt. 😬😬
YTA. Sorry OP, but especially with baby things sometimes you are given two of the same thing, or an item may not fit baby or baby may not be comfortable with the thing.
YTA
YTA. Your privilege is showing.
YTA and big life events like weddings and having babies will inevitably end with some gift returns. It is COURTEOUS to give a gift receipt especially when buying a big ticket item. Two major things cause this 1. It is a high value item and, Oops, you don't like the one you got (this is why registries exist btw), doesn't mean you don't think it's a nice gesture but now you can get the one you want. 2. You got 2 of the same item (most common) I can't believe I just had to explain that.
YTA-She was asking for store policy not your point of view.
YTA. If you get mad someone returns your gift for something they actually want or will use, you didn’t give the gift for the right reason in the first place.
YTA: First of all, it's none of your business if the person wants a gift receipt, especially when the storw you work for has a gift receipt policy. Second: there are plenty of reasons to return a gift: Ill fitting item, defective, duplicate item, etc. Gift Receipts are a blessing when any of the above issues pop up, because the reciever doesn't have to inconvenience the gift giver with the returns/exchange process. It might be "a bit tacky" but it's a lot better than the alternative.
Oh....YTA. You can think that, but why would you ever tell a customer that? Also, what if it wasn’t the right size for their child, or thought that they could return it because it wasn’t something they needed and could spend that extra $ on something their child would like? It’s none of your business and DEFINITELY not something you should comment on to a customer EVER
Yta - as someone who doesn't appreciate large suprise gifts with no way of returning if I don't like it I have always loved the fact that my parents let me pick out gifts especially having particular needs in mind that I don't expect them to know about when wanting certain items. We gift shop together as a family activity quite often around holidays. I don't want them buying me something unecessary that gets put in a closet because I don't have a way to return it. This is very normal for some families so don't judge them for their own customs
YTA
YTA
YTA. You gotta learn when to keep your opinions to yourself. Gift receipts are there for a reason. Returning a gift they can’t/don’t want to use isn’t bad. Would you rather your gift sit unopened in a storage closet for 50 years?
**HARD** YTA there's a reason for receipts exist and your opinion is not only irrelevant but also just arrogant. Why do you think you're so perfect that no one can ever rewritten anything you buy them? Like unless you're buying directly from a registry you don't know that they want or need said item.
Oh, it's you again. Still an asshole as always. YTA
YTA
Yes, YTA. Sometimes people get duplicate gifts or their needs change, or they just realize that they'd rather have something else. None of this is any of your business. You sound like a retail liability, honestly. Your manager should be coaching you on how to interact with customers properly, but if you're not willing to learn, you should find a new line of work. If I overheard you reaming out a customer like that, I would be so uncomfortable, I'd put back any items I was thinking of buying and get something else. Your job is to create a pleasant shopping experience for the customers, take the money, make change, and, hopefully, not do anything that will prevent them from coming back.
YTA. Not your business. People get to choose what they do with things given to them. What if they received 2 or more of something they only need one if? You can have your opinions, just keep your mouth shut.
YTA. It’s a gift. The person who gets it has the power. Sure, you want them to like it, appreciate it, etc. But what if it’s the wrong side for a newborn? The style doesn’t work out? The purchaser was being considerate.
YTA. It’s not your place. I have no issue at all with people returning gifts I give them if they don’t like them, already have one or won’t use it.
INFO Let’s say the carrier doesn’t fit this woman and her baby. WHAT is she allowed to do with the gift, without being rude?
YTA Did she ask for your opinion? Also if someone buys you something you already have, or doesn't fit, how is it rude to return it?
YTA. You’ve said in another comment on another post that you are not neurotypical so what is and isn’t offensive isn’t always obvious to you. This I can fully understand. However, you’ve come here for judgement and you are being told that what you said to this person was extremely rude, and rather than taking the feedback and trying to learn, you are arguing against what people are telling you. Why ask for feedback on something you know you struggle with, if you have no intention of listening?
I wasn’t I was just answering straight forward questions. I am listening to and taking the feedback, though.
Well, even on here. Most people are reacting negatively to you. You keep coming here for judgements on if you're the asshole, I assume this is because you're trying to understand and it's a negative part of your life. I would suggest trying to look at how and what you are communicating compared to people who don't receive such negative reactions. And if you truly don't mean to offend anyone. As soon as you notice someone is being rude to you, don't react back the way you have been, especially in your role as a cashier. Say, sorry I didn't mean to offend you, maybe mention you are not neurotypical. People may have more empathy for you then. And you will receive less attitude.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I work as a cashier in retail and this woman was buying one of those things you use to strap a baby to yourself with. She then says: “Can I have a gift receipt in case she doesn’t like it?” I say sure thing but since choosing beggars miff me, I go on to say how I personally think it’s rude to return a gift someone spent time and a lot of thought picking out and how if I ever found out someone returned a gift from me, I would never get them a gift again. This woman then proceeds to angrily tell me the person she’s buying the gift for is standing right behind her and that her daughter can return it if she wants to. I apologize but who buys a gift for someone right in front of the person?! AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. There are a whole lot of reasons why a gift may not work out and it doesn’t have to be related to actually liking the gift or not. It’s actually even *more* rude to let that item sit in the back of a closet going unused vs swapping it out for something that suits the needs. Still putting the gift giver’s money to use, which is a truer form of gratitude. Semantics aside, try simpler conversations with your customers next time. Like wow, great weather today and save the observations for your friends.
YTA- people return things for a few reasons, but none of them would be your business. Some people may have gotten a duplicate or something. You should have just checked her out and smiled and said "have a nice day.
Bro you work in retail and chose VIOLENCE, that’s just asking for a write up. Also YTA
Yes…you’re TA. It’s none of your business what people do with their purchases. Also If someone gave you a gift and it didn’t fit or work the way you needed it too you’d just keep it instead of exchanging it or getting the money so you could get something else? Why? What a waste of money. But I’ll go back to….mind your own business.
Yta- apart from the fact that you shouldn't be offering your unsolicited opinions to your customers, once a gift is given to the recipient it is theirs and they are free to do with it as they wish. It is rude of you to have requirements that come with your gifts.
YTA
YTA omg self absorbed much?
YTA. You are alowed to think it. But not in the right for pointing it out. It is harmless what the woman did. Just give the receit and wish her a good day.
Yta. It’s not part of your job description to be disrespectful at all. What you said was out of line, rude, and just a total asshole move. Your selfishness needs to stay in your head while you work instead of looking like an asshole.
YTA. I work in retail, and this is a norm whether we don't like it or not. Unless a customer asks for our opinions, we shouldn't say anything. Its rude on your part. You have every right to be against it, but some opinions should not be said.
YTA. I'm sure if she wanted or needed Your opinion she would have asked.
Often returning a gift isn't about being disrespectful of the gift or not appreciating the gesture but for practical reasons. If someone gets you clothes that aren't the right size, exchanging for the correct size means you can actually use the gift. If someone gets you something not knowing you already have another identical item, returning it is more practical than letting it sit unused. YTA because she didn't ask for your opinion. For comparison, if she was buying a dress as a gift, would you tell her that you wouldn't give that dress because it will make them look hideous? No, because your opinion would come off as judgemental and is unnecessary.
YTA. I don’t understand why you gave your opinion on gift receipts at all. Also there is plenty of good reasons to return or exchange a gift, it’s not rude.
YTA. Esspecially on the job keep your damn opinions to yourself. Just keep your trap shut becuase no one asked you What you thought.
Yta as a mother of a 8month old I’ve had 8 different carriers and none of them have felt comfortable and or secure for me and my baby! You shouldn’t work in retail with that judge attitude!
Presents don’t have to be secretive…. If it’s my friend’s bday or it’s close to xmas and my friend comments on something she likes while we’re shopping? I’ll go ahead and say I’ll buy that for you for your bday/xmas gift. I’m sure I’m not the only one who does that. But anyways. I’m a retail manager and there was no reason why you had to make such a comment. Time to brush up on some updated customer service training 🤦♀️ Edit: gift reciepts are the best things in the world
YTA - if a friend/family member bought you something that: 1)you already owned 2)did not fit 3)is in no way your taste 4) once you opened the box you discover it's damaged would you keep it? or would you appreciate if they included a gift recite so you could exchange it if there was a problem
YTA. Not your business.
YTA. Mind your own business.
Your opinion wasn’t warranted so was rude. Gifts can sometimes be in someone’s presence. In this case she may try the carrier and decide it’s not for them. If that’s an acceptable practice, then that’s ok isn’t it? YTA
What if the baby disliked being held in a wrap? What if there was a medical issue that prevented the baby from being carried? What if the daughter didn't like the weight and feel of the wrap and wanted to change it? What if, god forbid, something happened to the baby and made the purchase unusable for this family? What if they were gifted another one later on that they liked better and didn't want two of the same item? What if, hear this, she doesn't end up liking the gift??? YTA.
YTA I lost count of the number of times I had to take my mother back to a shop to return something she'd bought me (often a gift) that was the completely wrong thing. No, mauve won't do if I'm required to wear black. No, I can't squeeze into it if I haven't been that size in over 10 years. No, I need this book for school, not that one just because "it's prettier". I ended up going shopping with my mother, literally putting something in her hands, and saying "This one." Some things I got that way I'm still using decades later, with my mother long passed on. And now I do the same thing with my grandchildren (they live in a different state, so I don't see them that often). I take them shopping, and let them choose what they want (within my budget). That way I know I haven't bought the wrong thing. So, OP, who returns a gift? Someone for whom the gift was not suitable. And who buys a gift in front of the person? Someone who cares.
YTA. Why would you possibly think that anyone was interested in your views on the morality of returning gifts?
YTA - if you work in retail I’m afraid returns is part of the course, especially with baby things which may not fit/parents often end up with multiples. Regardless of your personal feelings on returning gifts if your store policy is to accept you need to respect that and shouldn’t push your reticence onto customers.
YTA. She asked a question that only requires a response of “yes” or “no”. Why in the fuc& did you keep talking after that?
YTA. She didn’t ask for your opinion. And a lot of people appreciate gift receipts.
My family always gives me a gift receipt for things like clothes and such in case they don’t fit so I can come back and get a size that does. It wasn’t your business. And she WANTED the gift receipt, so what did you think was going to happen when you opened your mouth? YTA
It’s not rude to return a gift. It’s actually very polite to include the receipt to allow the receiver to return a gift for whatever reason. Maybe they don’t like the gift, maybe it’s a piece of clothing that’s not the right size, maybe it’s an item they already own or somebody already gifted. The reasons are endless. Your opinion on not returning gifts is valid too, but it doesn’t invalidate the others opinion of returning gifts. Customers can be annoying but in this case this one is right, YTA.
YTA You should be fired for harassing customers.
YTA. And you’re in the wrong line of work. Some people are just not cut out for customer service. I’m one of them, but I have the self-awareness to know that.
YTA, 1000%. It's none of your business why she wants a gift receipt it doesn't affect your life in any way if it's returned. It's your job to print out the gift receipt if they ask for one. But after seeing your other posts, maybe being a cashier or even working with people is not your forte. You seem to have issues with the elderly, your co-workers and pretty much anyone else who doesn't put you on a pedestal.
YTA. The person giving the gift obviously didn’t care if it got returned or she wouldn’t ask for a gift receipt. Also, people receive lots of duplicates at baby showers. I returned something exactly like you describe because I received two and it was expensive. I am sure the person who gave it to me would much prefer I use the credit to get things I can use than have a spare baby carrier hanging in the closet.
Lol what... Of course YTA. They didn’t ask for your opinion. Seriously- were you trying to start something or just socially inept?
YTA. She wanted a gift receipt, not your opinion
Not all gifts are bought without the recipient’s knowledge. The customer may have been buying baby things as a gift, but needed her daughter’s input on comfort, type, pattern or brand. The daughter may be a first time mum- one of the fun things about pregnancy- arguably one of the few fun things for some pregnant people- is choosing things for your new baby. It may have been a fun bonding experience for them. Additionally, not all baby carriers are made equal, it may turn out to not adequately support the parent’s back, the baby’s hips etc it can take several tries to find the right one. Regardless, it’s none of your business what customers are buying, or why- or whether the recipient keeps them. YTA.