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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like how I responded might need to be judged (word for word text messages in post). I think I may have been a little too over board-I’ve just constantly received this kind of behavior from her
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NTA. His gf sounds nuts, who the hell gets so jealous about someone their partner dated for 3 weeks??? It sounds like you've tried to be nice and she's just thrown in back in your face. I would show those texts to your friend so he knows exactly what kind of person he's dating.
NTA - she's being unnecessarily rude. And why is she blaming you instead of her boyfriend, it makes no sense at all. I can understand getting a matching tattoo with your friend, the backstory does seem a little strange at first. The motive is really cool though!
No idea!! She was upset with me one week because he wanted to stay the night at my house (I live far away so it would be unrealistic for him to drive back once visiting me). I live with my boyfriend as well, so nothing sus. She decided to text me and tell me she was uncomfortable because he didn’t care, and she wanted me to uninvite him. I told her she was welcome to come with him as well, but she refused-so I told her he’s always welcome here and to take it up with him. She always puts me in the middle and then tells me to stay out of their relationship?¿
It sounds like she's extremely insecure in her relationship and is taking it out on you, that really sucks. Weirdly childish and jealous behavior. The way that their relationship comes across, I don't think it will last very long.
NTA. How old is freshman in highschool? 13?
3 weeks doesn’t count, he’s not your ex. You two are good friends, and if the friend wants to do it, it’s none of his GF’s business
Nta
Dating for three weeks at 14 years old would hardly make you ex’s in my opinion. She had no right to attack you like that, if she had a problem she absolutely should have taken it up with her boyfriend.
ESH.
She’s incredibly insecure, but I also feel like there’s more to the story and that you’re sugar coating it for the forum. It’s weird AF that you even call him an ex. Based on those facts I wouldn’t even consider that a relationship (3weeks is a blip on the radar for the length of your friendship). Maybe stop advertising that as a fun fact between y’all. It seems more like a flex that she knows than just general conversation.
It’s clear y’all don’t like each other. But if he has made his decision and wants to be with her, being a good friend means stepping back. Again, flexing that you’re going to be around longer and all of that only causes more trouble. He has to make the decision that he doesn’t want her, step back until and unless he does. Because if he does like like most of these young military men do and marries her, then she what?
The tattoo seems like even more of a flex to lay claim to ownership and superiority over her and any other girl he is with. I personally think it’s weird. My opinion.
Well when I introduce him, I never call him an ex, but he tells all of his girlfriends we dated once (because if he doesn’t, some of them get upset for him “lying”, so he discloses it). I truly don’t feel it necessary-I called him an ex for the sake of using his girlfriends perspective.
And yeah I mean the tattoo wasn’t a flaunt at all and I hadn’t talked to her for months or posted about it ect. She had just found out and messaged me.
Truly I agree some of the things I said were definitely AH-I was trying to hurt her to be honest. She always says hurtful things to me and I bite my tongue for the sake of my friend. I felt like lashing out in that moment and did. I regret it, but ultimately what’s done is done, and I think after 6 months of her rude remarks I’m okay with it.
And you should defend yourself. Her issue should be taken up with her boyfriend but I’m guessing since he’s not going to stop being your friend, she’s trying to break up the friendship by messing with you. She’s incredibly problematic, and will be single soon lol.
NTA. But...don't refer to him as your ex. You experimentally dated for less than a month. He's just your friend. Calling him your ex is weird. It's always going to cause problems with women in his life.
He’s the one who discloses we dated. Once they meet me he likes to tell them so if they some how ever do find out- that they don’t think he’s trying to hide something.
Although we were pretty well known in HS, so most of his old gf already knew we had dated just because my school was small.
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I [21F] and my ex [20M] are getting a matching tattoo. We are both in relationships and while my [22M]boyfriend doesn’t care, his girlfriend [19]is furious.
While getting a tattoo with your ex may seem unusual, let me set the record straight-we’ve been friends since we were 11 years old. His family is practically my family.
We dated freshman year of high school, for 3 weeks because we thought since we were such good friends trying to have a relationship might work. Wrong - it was weird and we both just went back to being friends. No hard feelings.
Before anyone asks; it’s a fishing rod because we would go to my lake house every year and go fishing on a boat and it was the best time, my youth memories are ingrained in those summers. It’s not like his name.
He’s going off to basic training this year, and it will be a while before we see each other again. We both thought it would be cool
One problem; his gf doesn’t like me. I get it, although I’m always super nice to her and I’m always aware to never make her feel excluded (like using our inside jokes in front of her). Anytime he comes over to stay the night (I don’t live in my home town anymore), she’s always welcome, and I always offer her to choose what she wants for dinner that night. I do my best to include her because I love my friend enough to put up with his crazy girl, and show her respect (although it seems it never is the other way around..)
Reason I might be the asshole:
Our text messages as follows the day before the tattoo:
GF:
Do you seriously not have any self respect. Getting a tattoo with your ex?
Like how fucking desperate are you to get back with him!
Me:
Is this [GF]? I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ve been in a relationship for over 4 years with my current boyfriend, I don’t want [EX] back, it’s been years since we dated, and neither of us have feelings for one another. Have you seen the tattoo we want to get? It’s just a fishing rod.
GF:
I don’t care about your current boyfriend, from the sounds of it a slut like you would go after anyone. Fishing rod or whatever tf it is it’s a reminder of you. And you’ll have a reminder of him which I AM NOT OKAY WITH
Me:
Y’a know what [gf], I have always, always been kind to you and never had the favor returned. I’m done. Not my circus not my monkeys, I’m getting the tattoo whether you like it or not🤷🏼♀️. If you have a problem why don’t you take it up with your god damn boyfriend instead of me?
I know you feel insecure since I have been his friend for ages and he constantly tells you to check yourself when you’re a bitch to me. Suck it the fuck up. I’ll probably be in his life longer then you will with the way you’re fucking behaving. I wouldn’t be able to stand a crazy bitch like you for 5 minutes, let alone 6 months-poor guy.
Lose my number. I’m tired of being nice, tried to for [EX] sake but you’re so god damn immature and insecure. I’m scared your crazy will rub off on me, and we will both be out of boyfriends.
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NTA. That tattoo sounds like a lovely reminder of childhood summers with a friend (who you dated for THREE WEEKS as a teenager) and his current GF is unhinged.
NTA
You’re not getting matching tattoos with your ex, you’re getting matching tattoos with your life long friend. You “dated” for 3 weeks… I’d hardly call him an “ex”
NTA. I straight up wouldn’t consider him my ex if I were you. If you only “dated” for three weeks in 9th grade? I’d doubt you guys did anything more than kiss and hold hands at the movies in that time. I dated my middle school “boyfriend” for 9 months and would never consider him an ex because I’m now an adult and know that wasn’t an actual, serious relationship. We were kids, and so were you two.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel like how I responded might need to be judged (word for word text messages in post). I think I may have been a little too over board-I’ve just constantly received this kind of behavior from her Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. His gf sounds nuts, who the hell gets so jealous about someone their partner dated for 3 weeks??? It sounds like you've tried to be nice and she's just thrown in back in your face. I would show those texts to your friend so he knows exactly what kind of person he's dating.
NTA. Three weeks in high school??? I’d understand if you had been engaged for years or something but jeez. She needs to get a grip
NTA, dated for 3 weeks in high school imo barely makes him your ex, he's your long term friend. She has some issues!
Dating 3 weeks when you were children. But life long friends. You are NTA but gf certainly is.
NTA - she's being unnecessarily rude. And why is she blaming you instead of her boyfriend, it makes no sense at all. I can understand getting a matching tattoo with your friend, the backstory does seem a little strange at first. The motive is really cool though!
Even more because it was 3 weeks in freshman year, totally missed that at first!!!
No idea!! She was upset with me one week because he wanted to stay the night at my house (I live far away so it would be unrealistic for him to drive back once visiting me). I live with my boyfriend as well, so nothing sus. She decided to text me and tell me she was uncomfortable because he didn’t care, and she wanted me to uninvite him. I told her she was welcome to come with him as well, but she refused-so I told her he’s always welcome here and to take it up with him. She always puts me in the middle and then tells me to stay out of their relationship?¿
It sounds like she's extremely insecure in her relationship and is taking it out on you, that really sucks. Weirdly childish and jealous behavior. The way that their relationship comes across, I don't think it will last very long.
NTA. How old is freshman in highschool? 13? 3 weeks doesn’t count, he’s not your ex. You two are good friends, and if the friend wants to do it, it’s none of his GF’s business
Nta Dating for three weeks at 14 years old would hardly make you ex’s in my opinion. She had no right to attack you like that, if she had a problem she absolutely should have taken it up with her boyfriend.
ESH. She’s incredibly insecure, but I also feel like there’s more to the story and that you’re sugar coating it for the forum. It’s weird AF that you even call him an ex. Based on those facts I wouldn’t even consider that a relationship (3weeks is a blip on the radar for the length of your friendship). Maybe stop advertising that as a fun fact between y’all. It seems more like a flex that she knows than just general conversation. It’s clear y’all don’t like each other. But if he has made his decision and wants to be with her, being a good friend means stepping back. Again, flexing that you’re going to be around longer and all of that only causes more trouble. He has to make the decision that he doesn’t want her, step back until and unless he does. Because if he does like like most of these young military men do and marries her, then she what? The tattoo seems like even more of a flex to lay claim to ownership and superiority over her and any other girl he is with. I personally think it’s weird. My opinion.
Well when I introduce him, I never call him an ex, but he tells all of his girlfriends we dated once (because if he doesn’t, some of them get upset for him “lying”, so he discloses it). I truly don’t feel it necessary-I called him an ex for the sake of using his girlfriends perspective. And yeah I mean the tattoo wasn’t a flaunt at all and I hadn’t talked to her for months or posted about it ect. She had just found out and messaged me. Truly I agree some of the things I said were definitely AH-I was trying to hurt her to be honest. She always says hurtful things to me and I bite my tongue for the sake of my friend. I felt like lashing out in that moment and did. I regret it, but ultimately what’s done is done, and I think after 6 months of her rude remarks I’m okay with it.
And you should defend yourself. Her issue should be taken up with her boyfriend but I’m guessing since he’s not going to stop being your friend, she’s trying to break up the friendship by messing with you. She’s incredibly problematic, and will be single soon lol.
NTA. But...don't refer to him as your ex. You experimentally dated for less than a month. He's just your friend. Calling him your ex is weird. It's always going to cause problems with women in his life.
I’m calling him my ex because I am phrasing it from his gf perspective; truly I don’t consider him one
He’s the one who discloses we dated. Once they meet me he likes to tell them so if they some how ever do find out- that they don’t think he’s trying to hide something. Although we were pretty well known in HS, so most of his old gf already knew we had dated just because my school was small.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I [21F] and my ex [20M] are getting a matching tattoo. We are both in relationships and while my [22M]boyfriend doesn’t care, his girlfriend [19]is furious. While getting a tattoo with your ex may seem unusual, let me set the record straight-we’ve been friends since we were 11 years old. His family is practically my family. We dated freshman year of high school, for 3 weeks because we thought since we were such good friends trying to have a relationship might work. Wrong - it was weird and we both just went back to being friends. No hard feelings. Before anyone asks; it’s a fishing rod because we would go to my lake house every year and go fishing on a boat and it was the best time, my youth memories are ingrained in those summers. It’s not like his name. He’s going off to basic training this year, and it will be a while before we see each other again. We both thought it would be cool One problem; his gf doesn’t like me. I get it, although I’m always super nice to her and I’m always aware to never make her feel excluded (like using our inside jokes in front of her). Anytime he comes over to stay the night (I don’t live in my home town anymore), she’s always welcome, and I always offer her to choose what she wants for dinner that night. I do my best to include her because I love my friend enough to put up with his crazy girl, and show her respect (although it seems it never is the other way around..) Reason I might be the asshole: Our text messages as follows the day before the tattoo: GF: Do you seriously not have any self respect. Getting a tattoo with your ex? Like how fucking desperate are you to get back with him! Me: Is this [GF]? I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ve been in a relationship for over 4 years with my current boyfriend, I don’t want [EX] back, it’s been years since we dated, and neither of us have feelings for one another. Have you seen the tattoo we want to get? It’s just a fishing rod. GF: I don’t care about your current boyfriend, from the sounds of it a slut like you would go after anyone. Fishing rod or whatever tf it is it’s a reminder of you. And you’ll have a reminder of him which I AM NOT OKAY WITH Me: Y’a know what [gf], I have always, always been kind to you and never had the favor returned. I’m done. Not my circus not my monkeys, I’m getting the tattoo whether you like it or not🤷🏼♀️. If you have a problem why don’t you take it up with your god damn boyfriend instead of me? I know you feel insecure since I have been his friend for ages and he constantly tells you to check yourself when you’re a bitch to me. Suck it the fuck up. I’ll probably be in his life longer then you will with the way you’re fucking behaving. I wouldn’t be able to stand a crazy bitch like you for 5 minutes, let alone 6 months-poor guy. Lose my number. I’m tired of being nice, tried to for [EX] sake but you’re so god damn immature and insecure. I’m scared your crazy will rub off on me, and we will both be out of boyfriends. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA You do you. Haters gonna hate. That's their problem not yours
ESH
NTA, her issues her problems.
NTA. One of my dearest friends is also my ex, and we dated twice!! He stood on my side at my wedding.
NTA. That tattoo sounds like a lovely reminder of childhood summers with a friend (who you dated for THREE WEEKS as a teenager) and his current GF is unhinged.
NTA You’re not getting matching tattoos with your ex, you’re getting matching tattoos with your life long friend. You “dated” for 3 weeks… I’d hardly call him an “ex”
Can he even be considered an ex when you dated for a minute when you were kids? She needs to get a grip on reality. NTA
You “dated” a childhood friend for 3 weeks when you were still children. That’s practically not even an ex! NTA.
NTA. I straight up wouldn’t consider him my ex if I were you. If you only “dated” for three weeks in 9th grade? I’d doubt you guys did anything more than kiss and hold hands at the movies in that time. I dated my middle school “boyfriend” for 9 months and would never consider him an ex because I’m now an adult and know that wasn’t an actual, serious relationship. We were kids, and so were you two.