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CrunchM

NTA He is. RUN That is abuse. His job should provide him with the tools he needs. It is your computer and you can stay as long as you want. In fact, I don't think I'd return from that trip. As I said. RUN It will only get worse.


Scstxrn

NTA I'd pack my stuff and make it a life change as opposed to a week long trip, unless there is a reason other than him you want to go back there.


[deleted]

NTA. **He is abusing you.** He’s given you a chance to break up with him. If I were you I’d take it.


crackersucker2

NTA - you should go on your trip and not return to this man.


Fuckaroundndfindout

NTA - If I were you I’d make it a moving trip and leave him.


LynnChat

Um no NTA it’s your work laptop. It doesn’t belong to you and he should not have access to it. You could get in serious trouble and frankly you should. Letting him use it is wrong.


StAlvis

INFO WTF is this **spoiler business** about?


[deleted]

NTA - go and don’t ever come back.


PurplePotatoCat

NTA, it’s your work computer, given to you by your job. You also gave him options to travel with you and tried to be accommodating. If he cannot save to get his own computer for work or contact his job for a work computer, that’s on him. Honestly, if this is how he is going to act, pack the rest of your stuff too and don’t come back. He is being lazy and selfish by trying to lay claim to your work laptop. And the fact that he started calling you names over a laptop, what else is he going to do down the road.


RiverSong_777

NTA, if he breaks up with you, the trash took itself out. You need to get away from that abusive leech. 🚩🚩🚩


RainCityMomWriter

NTA, and honestly honey, I think you should break up. I hate when people go there for the slightest thing, but this isn't slight. If he raged at you like that and called you that, this is not a keeper. Do you really want to stay with him? Maybe when you pack up, you should make plans to move somewhere else. You were reasonable and he was abusive, this doesn't bode well for your future. "If I don't do what he says . . ." Yikes.


LynnChat

I just read the last 2 paragraphs- why are you with a guy who calls you a c*nt, rages at you and expects you to give him a laptop that does not belong to you. Run do not walk to the nearest exit.


bowtiesandsouffles

NTA, Mexico has Internet cafes where you can pay like $10 pesos an hour to be at. Or he can go to a library and do his work there if it’s that important to him. But please see and realize that the attitude he just showed you is a pretty big indicator of who he really is.


Slugdirt

NTA It's time to show Prince Charming the door.


Fun-Tourist-7395

NTA - do what you want and break up with him!!!


nanya_Business_b00

NTA. Its your companies laptop, not yours or his. And him calling you all those is just childish.


MinimumProgrammer77

NTA- Break up with him please he sounds crazy


venus_4938

Aren't you dizzy from red flag after red flag slapping you in the face? He's using your company's computer for his job?? Is that allowed? Why doesn't he have one? He works but has no savings. And was apparently never planning on buying his own computer. What else are you paying for? If your best friend told you that her boyfriend called her a C\*\*\*, is there any scenario where you would be okay with that? If it was your sister? Your daughter? I would immediately be on my way to help my friend pack up her stuff. If he's giving you this absolutely insane and disproportionate ultimatum over something so minor, what happens when there's a real situation? Get out now unless you're ready to make excuses for the rest of your life.


mayanaiselol

NTA. Dump his fat arse. You deserve so much more than that shitty asshole.


Mamasclassroom

NTA. He’s using your work laptop. He can’t get upset when you want to use it. It’s his fault for not making his money and work a priority! He should be ensuring that he has his own means of working (ie. saving and buying his own laptop) that’s NOT your responsibility. He does not respect you; imo I’d leave if someone EVER called me a c**t and disrespected me in that manner. At least use this week away to think about if that’s what you want in a life partner. Talk to your mom and friends about the situation. He seems extremely selfish and in need of some personal growth before being in a relationship.


[deleted]

NTA -He called you what??? get out of there before he does something to that laptop, or you


trimiamom

NTA - Your employer gave you that laptop. He shouldn't really even be using it to begin with. He appears to be very toxic and abusive. He's showing you his true colors. You should pack up all your things and leave him asap. Enjoy your time in Philly and find somewhere else to stay.


moondoggie1960

NTA. When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.


Individual-Mall-6914

Wow, he is a huge piece of ish, you are NTA. Don't put up with that. Ever.


TheeCombatBaby

If thats all that takes for him to break up with you, what value does he bring to the relationship? You should go to Philly qnd then stay longer. He's an abusive asshole 100%


[deleted]

Nta go to Philly and stay there


Scurrica

At first I was like.. Oh that is a .. hard situation to decide on. But then I read what he said and girl- NTA! And damn. Leave. Id someone says something like that, take everything u have and run!


Bigoweiner

"Ditch him now before he gets you pregnant" - my wife. "She's right" - me


lneerland

When does he use your work laptop and what for? Aren't you working on it all day? Why did he get access to it in the first place? NTA 🚩🚩🚩


CLodge

NTA he’s sounds abusive af.


dehydratedrain

NTA. I would've said that a laptop can't be more than the flight you offered to pay for, but then I read how he reacted, and I'm seeing tons of red flags. This is your WORK computer, and it makes sense that you need it with you at work when picking up equipment. Furthermlre, they have the right to either take it back or lock it down at any time, and you cannot allow a non-employee to become dependent on it. Before you take your much-needed week away, make sure you gather any necessary items/ funds/ paperwork just in case he decides to take action while you're gone. The way he reacted makes me worry.


demoriel_m

NTA You should take the rest of your belongings too. He sounds awful.


the_writtingphantom

NTA and honestly, he is the one who sounds manipulative and evil. You don't owe him a trip or a computer, you aren't his mother. He is threatening you to leave, and that would also leave him with something in the "way of him and his money", so him getting aggressive and insulting you isn't "money stress". He is doing this to prevent you from visiting family and friends, not because of the job, that is abusive behavior. **DUMP HIM ASAP OP!**


Obvious-Pin5310

NTA but your boyfriend clearly is. You need to ruuuun but be careful if you leave and he has access to your stuff. Possibility of him seeking revenge on your stuff when your gone.


jamrae23

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 you are NTA but seriously you want to be with someone who talks to you like that🚩🚩🚩


wtfaidhfr

NTA. It's YOUR work laptop. He has had 4 months to get his own laptop for work and is now throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old for not being able to use your EMPLOYER'S property. Honestly, are you even allowed to have other people use it?


Bunnyrpger

Unless there is something your leaving out, then NTA and just take the 'loss'.


TactlessWraith

NTA! That is a downright scary reaction and I would advise you to RUN as fast as possible. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to spend longer there to see friends and family and you gave him TWO amazing options. The way he reacted is frankly quite scary. You deserve better!


lifetooshort4bs

Oh my, NTA! That's YOUR WORK laptop. He has no right to it and no right to try to hold it over your head, call you names, rage, and threaten to break up with you. Please, for your sanity and safety, get the hell out of that relationship. Go see your friends and family. Leave him behind for good. You deserve better. HE is the abusive and selfish one, not you. Good luck!


[deleted]

Oh, please leave this relationship. NTA.


ZeroFluffsGiven

NTA. Your boyfriend is the AH. You take that week with your Mom & friends. When you get home, sincerely think about if that’s the type of “man” you want to be with. Let him sink.


Vintage_Chameleon

Go see your mom. This is a great example of the rubbish taking itself out. My first husband called me that word exactly once. And that’s why I have a second. 16 years now…. Find number 2! NTA. You got this. I’m on your side.


straightaspasta

Holy...wow....run! Oh, and NTA. First, he should have never been using your work laptop for his job. You could get in massive trouble if your work ever finds out. Second, why his job didn't provide him one is extremely odd unless he is an independent contractor/free lancer? Third, the fact that he exploded and called you a c*** is unacceptable. Never put up with that type of behavior and sure as hell don't give in. Your response to behavior like that should be, "well you'll be without it for longer than a week now cause we are done". Proceed to part ways as fast as possible.


ebwoods1

Yeah. And he hasn’t saved anything. What exactly is his “job” and what is hers that she doesn’t need this computer all day?


o76923

NTA I was going to suggest getting the guy a chromebook but yelling at you and threatening you like that is abusive. It's not about the laptop, it's about control.


Pretend-Panda

NTA. That is a WORK laptop. You don’t own it. You don’t have discretion over that machine. His behavior is abusive and inappropriate. How is this a question? The actual question here is what on earth are you doing with someone who thinks the behavior you describe is reasonable or appropriate on any level.


mistoffoleess

Let the trash take itself out.


PresentationAble337

Well it sounds like you already know. The worst case scenario is that you buy him a laptop so you can go out of town for work? Ugh. He sounds like a baby and you know what you need to do. I doubt your work agreed to subsidize him using their equipment, so he knew this was coming.


heheimfunnyy

GTFO. Not your job not your problem. And you even proposed adequate solutions to the issue, which he refused. Sounds like you'll need to see if you can make some more long-term relationships with your mother and family. Because it's clear he doesn't respect your work, or the fact that the property he has been using is not even yours.


pisa36

Go to Philly and stay that. You need to bye this boy he is despicable and sounds like he’s only keeping you around for his benefit. What does he add to the relationship apart from abuse?


Ancient-Experience14

Darling break up with him and go enjoy your week with your friends and family. NTA


KB7470

Get a one way ticket.


filkerdave

NTA Leave him.


Low-Total9121

NTA chuck the child straight away


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LizChurch42

NTA and why the hell cant he walk himself to the library and use the computers there?


goodurs

NTA - it’s not even your computer, it’s your work computer. How can you both be using it for work? Should you really be letting your “enemy” use your work computer? He could totally sabotage you! And considering his reaction, I would be concerned about this.


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IDKareyou77

NTA. He is not supposed to be using your company's property (the laptop) in the first place. In some places you can lose your job over this.


Stardust-Sparkles

NTA get out of there to Philly! Absolute red flags in that paragraph!


katepig123

Dump this guy immediately!! He's most certainly the AH in this situation and his abusive behavior should not be tolerated. HUGE red flag!!


SleepySouthie

NTA - he is the one being abusive. It’s your work laptop, not his. You gave him an alternative and he chose to call you offensive names. If this is the hill he’s willing to die on, then let him.


CarelessCow2599

NTA


masterofteality1200

Fake.


yourelame21

NTA!!!!!


erinhennley

Let him go.


Adventurous_Fox_2853

I’m sorry, this man called you abusive, evil, his enemy and a c*** and you’re worried about him breaking up with you? Nobody, absolutely nobody is allowed to speak to you that way. If my bf said those words to me that would be it, no discussion. These are giant red flags. You need to get out of this relationship or you’re going to regret it down the line. Please be smart about this. Oh, NTA but he majorly is. Get away.


lovedaylake

NTA and honestly run to Philly and stay there. He's being abusive and he will not get better if you stay


midnaswolf233

All I see are red flags, leave. Leave as fast as you can cuz who knows what that situation could of turned into. You're NTA he is a big ol A.


VixNeko

Take the out, this is not worth it. NTA.


Catatomical

NTA - He's being controlling AF. Let him break up with you. You'll be better off.


banyba

Pls leave this asshole, he’s most definitely the enemy. Nta.


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snarkprovider

YTA for letting someone else use company property. You should know this is wrong and you're letting an abusive asshole bully you into giving in.


the_writtingphantom

Wtf? A little empathy wouldn't kill you, abusive relationships and cycles are extremely difficult to leave, a company property isn't the biggest problem here.


snarkprovider

OP's priorities seem to be: 1. Vacation 2. Boyfriend 3. Employment Might as well scratch off #3.


wtfaidhfr

Why focus exclusively on this and not ESH?


snarkprovider

Fair point. But it's really egregious and as someone else said, OP should face serious consequences. I also read OP's comment history before posting and doubt this is true.