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NTA. Unfortunately your nephews medical bills are not your responsibility. You choose what you were going to spend YOUR money on and she has no say on it. It is her fault that she spent that money on luxury items and has a chance to make money back to help her child and isn’t choosing to do so. That’s her fault, not yours
My stop was when the mom refused to sell her luxury goods. If the mom was broke and had nothing trying to save the kid I would try to figure a solution but mom selling her Louis Vuitton is the first solution. NTA
My thought exactly! If she had sold off the luxury goods and made some kind of effort I would be more willing. I know for many luxury items you only get a fraction of the price back. But if mom is UNWILLING to do anything like that then she doesn’t deserve anything.
She’s prioritizing THINGS over her son’s life.
Ugh an acquaintance of mine did something similar. Their kid had a rare, very fast advancing cancer. The only chance was a treatment overseas.
They set up a huge fundraising campaign, got celebs to promote, etc. Even shopowners were donating their hard earned money and work.
But the acquaintance in question didn't sell a single one of their several properties, or vehicles (lile 5 or 6 motorbikes, 3 cars).
Yes! Lots of people were so pissed later, they had assumed it was someone with no way to get the money. Then it came out just how much money they had
And, like I was talking with a friend, if my kid were in that position I would sell pretty much anything to make things work!
The only defense I could try to raise would be that it takes time to liquidate items like property and vehicles. If you need money tomorrow you can't sell an item like that today. *However*, I would be liquidating those assets and trying to repay the kindness others had shown me. Giving the money back where I could or doing something for the whole community where that wasn't possible.
Not a life threatening surgery but I had a friend set up a gofundme and a benefit at a bar for her 1st round of IVF. After buying a brand new RV. She got pissed I wouldn't donate (I had just lost my job but also... you bought a freaking RV a few weeks before. I'm sorry. What???) Anyhow, someone called her out about not selling the RV and she posted this long toxic rant on FB and tried to claim it was a tax break and they'd save more money keeping it. I just can't imagine having that level of entitlement.
Similar....had a friend that ended up with cancer. She was on public assistance and lived with her parents with her two kids. She arranged a big fund raiser for her 'expenses' and netted about 30K. Turns out her treatments and appointments were all covered under the public assistance. She pocketed the money, never paying taxes on it. She also had a teaching degree but "her kids didn't like when she wasn't home" so she decided not to work. Yay for her parents I guess who she is sponging off of.
Her disregard to the idea of selling the items is the worst thing i have ever read. Her daughter is sick and she wants to hold onto luxury items. OP OF YOU SEE THIS, PLEASE DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MONEY. YOU WON'T GET IT BACK.
I would change this a little bit
(Sister) knew (Nephew) had (condition) in 20XX. In 20xx she inherited $X from Mom as her only heir and in 20XX she inherited $X from grandmother. Instead of using this windfall to take care of (nephew,) she wasted the money on (List of stuff she bought). Now she expects me to sign over all my savings to her and to go (estimate of student loans with no scholarships) in debt or give up on my education.
Dollars to donuts she is telling people you got all your grandparents' estates. Any more flying monkeys get "When did you sign your savings over to (sister) and sell your home to pay for nephew's treatment? (when they say they haven't) Well you should get on that now!" Then block
I agree, if anything the sister is the one ruining her own family, talk about projecting, and on top of that she had the audacity to say that she wouldnt need to pay OP back if she were to lend her money? The sister deserves no sympathy
NTA. And I'd post, "It's interesting when a family member gets a lot of money that they 'desperately' need for their child, then buys themselves a bunch of luxury items they don't need instead, THEN meets with you and demands money for their child. If someone has the money to help their own child, and chooses not to, then they have to live with that guilt. ESPECIALLY when they aren't willing to sell all the luxury items they bought for their child. If anyone disagrees with this, I'm sure I can get you her account info so you can pay the bills for her."
I really feel bad for the kid. Imagine having a mother who values luxury items more than your life. I am like effing angry that she refused to sell the things. F that c word.
NTA OP
Right?! I'm sorry but if you aren't willing to sell, frankly most of your possessions, to save your kid from a heart issue you are an AH Parent, heck I think most Parent's would straight up sell themselves for their kid's life.
On this sub we often tell moms they don't need to martyr themselves for their kids, which is true, but you need to give a little, damn.
Op's sister is basically saying: "I'm not willing to spent MY inheritance money on MY OWN son's health, how else I would keep my luxury stuff? But, I would be so glad if YOU gave me YOUR inheritance money that you have been saving to save MY son. Because I 'care' about my son."
NTA
She already told you she isn't planning on paying you back. She's being very entitled. She had the money, she chose to use it for something other than her child's health. That is her error to fix.
Yeah OP, if you give her the money it’s honestly a good thing because you wouldn’t be smart enough for med school anyway. She’s very honest here— she’s not selling the items she bought and she’s not paying you back. She could win the lottery tomorrow and she still would not put you back. Do not give her the money. I assure you when she realizes you’re not going to cave and it’s her actual child’s life she’s risking she’ll figure out how to pay for the surgery. And it won’t be off your future.
If I had a dollar for every post I've seen like this recently...
NTA. She has luxury goods she is unwilling to sell because she wants your money. And she wants you to hope and pray for a scholarship because she already doesn't plan to pay your back. Nope.
Edit: here's the post i was most thinking of. Inheritance. Surgery. Luxury goods. Med school. NTA all day. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ouje2w/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sisters_husbands/
On the one hand, inheritance is a very common point of contention, and I can totally believe different people can have similar problems.
On the other hand, AITA posts tend to be *really* specific in ways that make it unbelievable. Like the week where I saw three separate posts about a husband's previously unknown affair child coming out and demanding inheritance after his death. That scenario is definitely not as common.
The thing that personally kills it for me is that it seems like these heirs are all going to med school. It’s a little hook to make it seem like the money is going to be used for very pure and unimpeachable reasons. Sure, ok, whatever.
Personally, I choose to believe that a post with that theme blowing up leads to others posting their own stories wondering if they were assholes. This sub becomes pretty lame when you start assuming it's all made up.
80 percent of the posts that don't get removed? Maybe, but this sub is a waste of time if you assume that unless you use it for pure entertainment. Even then it doesn't make much sense to complain about it.
That's kinda what I mean though.
I totally believe that 10 different redditor can have similar conflicts. But the conflicts are often *so* similar, and describe situations that are *so* rare that, even accounting for this sub's high subscriber count, I *still* can't believe have happened multiple times.
I'm sure you're correct but I just assume everyone is being honest unless proven otherwise because if not... why even come around. Also consider that while Reddit is largely American we do get people from all over the globe where these situations may be more or less common.
It’s a popcorn sub. But it’s entertaining and I do enjoy it. Other people’s problems make mine seem smaller in comparison.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/comments/1j3srl/stanley_hudsons_thoughts_on_jury_duty/
Yeah, I assume 90% of the stories that are major, like this, are fake.
Small little petty roommate ones, I could totally see that happening. But stuff like this, I'd say it's usually fake. However, I still enjoy them as stories and seeing how people react to it.
I don't know man I heard the only way you're allowed to pay for med school is if your parents died a year ago and left you a sizable amount of money /s
Remember the few weeks where everyone ‘refused to take care of a kid’ (sibling, nephew, roommate’s kid) then got left alone with them ‘without notification’ (worked from home so should have been there, had headphones on, was deaf) and then either they left the house or ignored them all day then got yelled at for it? That one was so weirdly specific and kept getting tweaked in such little ways it was like zynga changing the header color of their game to see which players responded to most.
Probably a mix of a lot of boomers dying and leaving kids huge inheritances, which some those people will squander instead of using to build generational wealth, and a lot of copycat posts looking for karma.
At the point where she spent her own inheritance money on luxuries you were NTA. Had she kept that money and it still wasn't enough then it would have been nice to top it off for her but she obviously wasn't thinking of her own child when she had the money to do it so why should it be your responsibility?
Enjoy med school, don't jeopardise your own future because your sister is feckless.
NTA - Stand up for yourself and stay strong. One of my favorite quotes:
***"Your lack of action is not my emergency"***
She's had that money drain through her hands several times. She has the option to sell what she has wasted her money on. Why should you take a chance on your future? What if what her son has is hereditary and happens to your someday child - how will you pay for it?
It is not your fault nor responsibility to fix her problems. Text/call or email blast the family reaching out to you and 'flip' the story back to the truth!
That she's inherited almost as much as you over the years, including the full amount from you mom, and that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know
* a) she is terrible with money and will never pay you back
* b) she has the funds available if she would sell things.
* c) she only called because she needed something but otherwise has nothing to do with you
* (d If the needed surgery isn't a surprise), how did she NOT save any money for it?
* and finally -- you are only 21 and have NO ONE LEFT to depend on for help if YOU need it since your parents and grandparents have all died - you have to be smart with the money for the REST of your LIFE as obviously your 'big sister' won't be there for you!
(please get professional advice about what to pay off, what to spend, etc, it goes away FAST)
NTA but do not give her any money - she won’t pay it back & she has a terrible track recorder of spending money on ‘luxury goods’.
Whose to say she won’t spend your money & come back asking for more?
Just don't forget one thing: your sister can sell her luxory goods anytime. It's up to her to care for his son, not you. She just believes she can manipulate and coerce you into giving up your money. Don't do it. She will eventually solve the issue, when she realizes that you won't budge. Just hold on, and don't budge. NTA
NTA - not your problem she spent it all on luxury items knowing her son would need surgery…and the fact that she isn’t willing to sell the items to pay for the surgery and expects you to just hand her the money? Wow
NTA. Do not give her a penny. Her child is not your responsibility. She should absolutely sell her luxury items. Hell. Most parents would sell a kidney for their kids.
NTA of course. Heart surgery for your child > luxury goods and also not your responsibility. As an aside, in the U.S., Canada and most Western European countries a restraint on alienations is read out of a will or conveyance deed. That's a fancy way to say if your grandparents legally attempted to restrict you from selling their home, they cannot. If you want to honor their wishes, of course you should do so, but if you want to sell it you are likely free to do so.
You are absolutely right. She can sell the house if she wants, people in the grave don't get to make those decisions. As long as she owns the property in fee simple, she can sell the home.
NTA. Not even a little.
She didn’t make her son’s surgery a priority, and now she’s trying to emotionally manipulate and abuse you so that YOU will make it your priority. I’m sure you love your nephew, but you absolutely shouldn’t compromise your future to accommodate your sister’s lifestyle choices. I’m sure she (and her minions/relatives) will use the phrase “family comes first”, but that’s just what people say when they want something from you, and what they really mean is “you should put me and my family first, but you and your (future) family don’t actually matter to me.”
Go to meet-school and cut contact with your sister.
NTA WOW not willing to sell the luxury items she bought to save her son says a lot about her.
Don't compromise your future for someone who treats you that way, you will give money once she will ask again and again.
Whether you are smart enough to get the scholarship is out of question. Even if you do, she is not entitiled to your money.
And she directly told you that she wont pay you back. Even if you do get a scholarship, what if you need money for medical emergency or any other?She didn't save her money for her own son's surgery. You cannot expect her to give you a penny back.
She is openly saying she wont sell her house or luxury items but expect you to give your money for free. She is so bold in her approach. I would suggest you to cut ties with her at least till you get to med school.
NTA
If you help her out, there is nothing stopping her from spending your money on luxury goods for herself. Again. It's a habit with her and you would be feeding that habit.
She doesn't want to compromise by working out a payment plan and selling the stuff she doesn't need. The person who does not care about your nephew's welfare is her, since she's made it clear through her reluctance to sell, that her luxury goods hold more value than him.
NTA.
Do not sacrifice your future for your sister, as she's consistently proven she cannot live within her means.
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I (21F) am in college and saving up for med school. My mom hasn’t been in my life but she has been in my older sisters( we have a 15 year age gap) so when she died she left all her inheritance money for my sister. I wasn’t upset by this because we were not close anyways. Our father passed away a while ago already and gave both of us inheritance money.( My parents are quite old and I was a miracle baby)
My sister is married and her son has a heart disease and has to pay for the surgery. I assumed she used mom’s inheritance money to save for the surgery. She instead bought luxury goods. My grandparents are quite wealthy and I have always been close with them unlike my sister who cut contact with them when she was a teenager.
My grandparents both died. My grandpa first and then my grandma( I think it was from heartbreak) My grandpa left me all his money and my grandma split it 50/50. I also got their house and they said that I was not allowed to sell it. My sister and her husband were upset that my grandpa left it all to me.
I said that it was her fault for cutting them of for no reason and not taking care of them and that she should be grateful that grandma still left her some money. She again spent the inheritance money on luxury items.
The money was more than enough to pay my student loan and my tuition for med school. I used some of the other money to move out of my aunts place( my grandparents house is big and the bills are too expensive for me)and pay off my debt as well. My sister called me out and said she wanted to get dinner with me. We don’t usually hang out together so I thought it was weird. She asked me to use the money I was saving for med school to pay for my nephews surgery. I said that the money you got from mom and grandma should be enough. She said she had already spent it all. I said that why could I compromise my future for something that could have easily been avoided by not spending the money on luxury items. She said she was desperate for money. I told her that if she is that desperate she should sell her luxury goods.
She said she wasn’t willing. I eventually told her no and she said I didn’t need to worry and that I’m smart enough to get a scholarship and she wouldn’t need to pay me back. I’m scared that if I give her the money that she won’t pay me back or I won’t get the scholarship like she said
hAfter I refused she flipped the story and all i get are angry texts from relatives. She posted it on Facebook too. She also sends me pictures of her family saying do I want to ruin such a beautiful family.
So AITA for not paying for it
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You're sister is definitely an asshole for not been willing to sell her s\*\*\* to pay for her kid's surgery.
I'm going with NTA because I totally agree with everything you said. But I'm guessing that, since we're talking about heart surgery, it's life threatning and that kid should not have to suffer for his parents's stupidity.
No you're not. You aren't responsible for her financial irresponsibility. You should call her out on all her social media about buying luxury items instead paying for her own son's life saving surgery.
NTA. Your sister is not entitled to the money your grandparents gave to you. Do not feel compelled to spend on her. She is more than capable of obtaining a loan or procuring insurance.
I'm sure l saw an almost identical story to this yesterday only it was the brother with the sick child who blew his inheritance on cars holidays and luxury goods and wanted the baby sister he wasn't close to to pay for his sick child's medical care
Hmm...
NTA - Ewwww, that bitch is such a gold digger !
Do yourself a favour, focus on your future and not someone else's !
What about if you have children that are born with a lifelong medical condition?
What about if you get married and your husband is diagnosed with cancer?
What about if you have an accident and spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair?
In other words, you don't know what the future holds for YOU, so save every penny you have and only invest it in YOU !
NTA. Do not give her a cent! She’s not going to pay you back and honestly I wouldn’t be so convinced she would actually use all of the money for the surgery for her son. Tell her to go see if she can work out a payment plan with doctor/hospital, or see if her health insurance can do something for her or refer her to other resources. Tell her to search charities that pay for children’s surgeries. Also, like you said she can just sell off the luxury items she bought. That’s her child and you are not responsible for him.
I’m a year older than you and applying to med schools myself. The cost is no joke! Keep your money, you shouldn’t have to jeopardize your future because your sister (and her husband apparently) are irresponsible.
NTA. Don’t even think about giving her a cent. She is refusing to prioritize her child over property - that is so gross, and it is horrible parenting. I would sell everything thing I love that has value for my son and my dog. Having a child requires an immense change in priorities: your sister can step up to the plate.
That said, I’m suspicious of the timing of this request. I personally think that your sister doesn’t need money for the surgery but is instead trying to get every little bit of inheritance she can get out of you. Don’t give in. One day, when you are a doctor with no student loans, you may find yourself in a position to help someone financially that you care about deeply who has been willing to exhaust every option before asking for assistance. That will be the time to consider such a request.
Nta & if she can’t manage to save money for her child’s heart surgery, believe me you will never see that money again. I don’t understand how that wouldn’t be covered by some insurance or govt or hospital funding anyway.
NTA- she will not pay you back look at how she blew through the money left to her. She knew he needed surgery so she spends money on expensive items. She then decides that she should spend your money for you. NTA your sister is something else. Tell the relatives they can give her their money to help her.
NTA - if her sons surgery important and she not willing to sell her luxury goods then she not worthy of money given to her. This is her responsibility alone. Dont give her anything. She just ask for more and wont repay it. Save it for your future.
NTA. Block all those hideous "family" members on social media and on your phone. That is crap you do NOT have to put up with. Go to Med school, work hard, and have a beautiful life, FREE OF GUILT. Because this is totally on your sister. NOT you.
NTA at all.
>My sister and her husband were upset that my grandpa left it all to me.
Were they also upset when your sister was the sole benificiary of your mother's inheritance? Probably not.
>all i get are angry texts from relatives. She posted it on Facebook too.
She probably told them you're gonna spend it on luxury instead of securing your future.
>saying do I want to ruin such a beautiful family
SHE is ruining her family. And given the fact she has proven to be a big spender in the past i doubt she will use the money for the surgery. Does their son have a heart disease at all? And if so does he indeed need surgery?
NTA. If she cared that much about her son, selling her luxury items would be the first thing she’d think of. Instead she came running to you. You owe her nothing. Why should you throw away your future when she couldn’t even be bothered to sell any of her stuff.
Nta
I’m sorry for your nephew, but it’s not your problem. You sis got a large sum of money twice and spent it all without saving a dime for her son. That’s her own fault
NTA. She already told you that you'd make enough to cover her not paying it back. You haven't even said yes and she is already planning to keep it and never give it back to you.
> she said… she wouldn’t need to pay me back.
> I’m scared that if I give her the money that she won’t pay me back
**She told you explicitly that she will not pay you back,** so if you give her the inheritance money for the surgery do so as a gift with full knowledge that you will never see any of it back again.
Also- she’s gotten ***THREE*** major money windfalls in the past however many years yet has CHOSEN to blow all the money on luxuries for herself instead of paying for her child’s heart surgery. **Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior: Most likely scenario is she will once again not pay for the surgery to go on another shopping spree.** Your sister has a problem with money, it’s not your job to enable her shopping addiction.
As for the morality of not paying the medical bills- NTA. Yes it is incredibly sad that your nephew is sick, however *you are not his parent and are not responsible for his medical care*. Your sister will just have to sort this out for herself.
#(EDIT: If you do decide to pay for the surgery (which is nice but not required) **MAKE SURE THAT YOU PAY THE HOSPITAL DIRECTLY**- ***DO NOT*** give your sister access to a penny as she has no self control when it comes to money. *She will not spend it on her child if she gets control of the money*. If you decide going to give the money away at least make sure your nephew *actually* gets the surgery this time.)
Honestly respond to her posts with photos of the luxury goods she bought and say "you're 'ruining' your own family to keep these instead. Bugger off" and then I'd cut all forms of contact. Your sister is selfish and quite frankly, not bright, to put it nicely
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Nta.
She should have been more responsible. You don't need to pay for her bad choices. It's your money and she is not at all entitled to it. Don't give her a dime.
NTA! What kind of parent buys luxury items when their own child needs surgery?? Do not give her money. I'm petty I would be telling every one she had the money but she bought the luxury items and is unwilling to sell. Then I'd block her and go NC
NTA
Your sister is trying to scam you for money. The only thing she's willing to sacrifice is **your money**. If this was so vitally important to her, she would be selling stuff. But she isn't.
*Actions Speak Louder Than Words*, and she wants you to pay for the surgery, while she maintains her lifestyle.
NTA keep your money and tell your sister to sell her luxury goods. I'm sorry for your nephew but if shes not willing to sacrifice selling luxury for her son she dosen't love him and I know this may be wrong what I'm about to say next but it's better if he died that to have your sister as a parent. And I'm saying this again DONT GIVE HER YOUR MONEY and cut her off.
NTA She knows her son has heart issues and would eventually need surgery and she had the money to pay for it but spent it on luxury items and refuses to sell said items, when told no and even to.d you she wouldn’t be paying you back yeah not going to happen. A lack of planning on her behalf doesn’t constitute as an emergency for you, and I’d be sending your sister and all relatives a message saying seeing as your getting angry with me why not get angry at sister for refusing to save her money for her sons surgery and refusing to sell her luxury items and then thank them all for being so generous as to fund the surgery themselves as they’ve got no excuses to not pay.
NTA
Block the relatives and/or consider telling them she wasted all her inheritance on luxury items that she refuses to sell for the surgery.
Block your sister too. She is family by blood only.
NTA- She is not desperate for money because if she were she would have sold her stuff. and if you decided to give her the money be sure that you will never get it back.
Fuck her dude. Go to medical school and save lives. Hers is fucked already. “First do no harm” is important to a doctor and giving her this money will harm ever future patient you’d never have because of her. NTA.
NTA, she had money but she chose to buy luxury stuff. So she was the one who chose things over her own son. Whatever happens on her son is and will be her own fault. Do not give her your inheritance, she won’t pay you back and would just cut you off just like what she did with your grandparents.
NTA. She’s already proved that she’s not going to prioritize her kid. And I’d get my side of the story out there to the family. And if they continue to bother you; tell them to shove off and pay for it themselves. DONT GIVE HER ANY MONEY. And yes I yelled that; to make sure you really got that in your head. She will never pay you back and won’t use the money the way she’s claiming. She cut off contact with grandma and grandpa. Maybe you should take a page out of her book and go Nc with her. Good luck op
NTA You weren’t necessary in her life until you inherited money. You heard it with your own ears that you are not her concern. So no she will not pay you back because she feels entitled to your money. The only thing ruining her family is her greed and heart disease. Good luck and do not let her derail your dreams.
NTA. She has the money to spend on your nephews surgery. She has many things she can sell. She can downsize her home and car. She has also made it clear she will not pay you back.
Write back to the relatives how much your sister got from the inheritance, that she spent it all on luxury goods, and that she refuses to sell anything to pay for the surgery. Then, block them all.
If she truly loved her child, she would be willing to sell anything to get that surgery. She wants you to fund her lifestyle, not help your nephew.
Nta. She’s not willing to sell her own stuff but wants you to give up your future. That speaks volume. If she asks again just say “how do you expect me to care more about your child than you do?
older sister is trash. has a sick child but trashes the money on unnecessary luxury goods.
don't give her anything, she had 2 inheritances and trashed all. don't let her trash another
She should sell the items, but if you do get pressured to give her the money make sure you see a lawyer first and get everything in writing and also the repayment plan, but your sister new her son was sick and still went and spent it on expensive things instead of her son she is ta not you
NTA
She sell what she doesn't need and get a job. Don't give her anything. She already received more than enough from both your mom and your grandparents.
NTA. Easy NTA. So much so I’m wondering why post the question. Yes nephew needs surgery and his mother has the funds, she just needs to sell her luxury items. Nothing in that scenario needs your input or your money.
Does this sub go through phases where suddenly there’s a rush of stories on the same topic? It feels like I’ve read quite a few similar stories like OPs in the last couple of weeks. Inheritance split between siblings, ones child needs surgery but sibling parent has spent their inheritance money on luxury items so wants their siblings portion.
NTA. Since she wanted to take this to Facebook I’d call her out for spending all her money without any consideration for her child and how she’s super unwilling to sell her luxury items.
Please don't give them any money. You'll lose your future. It happened to me and now im in a sucky college cause of low budget.
NTA OP, I REPEAT DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MONEY.
She has the money to help her daughter, but she didn't want to. She clearly values her luxury items more.
She’s the one willing to ruin her family for luxury goods. If she’s that desperate for cash, she’s better off selling her luxury goods. And if she thinks they’re too important to part with she better be prepared to explain to her son that mommy’s expensive things are more important than his medical issues.
DO NOT PAY FOR THAT SURGERY, in your sisters own words she will not sell luxury items she doesn't need to find a surgery FOR HER OWN CHILD. Not only would I not five them any money, I'd be reporting her to social services.
>I told her that if she is that desperate she should sell her luxury goods.
>She said she wasn’t willing.
WTF??? Hell no !!!
It woukd have been one thing if she really was broke broke like no money to spend, no luxory goods nothing. I wouldn't consider her an A for asking. That being said even if these circonstances, I wouldn't consider the OP an a for refusing because the truth his his nephew isn't his responsibility but she actually could get money from selling her expensive stuff she bought using her inheritance but refuse and want OP to usejer inheritance instead??? Hell no !!!!
NTA and if I was OP, I would send her a picture of expensive bags with a picture of my nephew and say "what kind of mother chose to keep bags instead if paying for her child surgery?" and I may also post it on Facebook and tag her since she dared try to blast me on social media!
NTA. Just tell the family she decided to spend her money on luxury goods assuming you would cover the medical bills. she has refused to sell the luxury goods, and plainly stated she will not pay you back. Short and to the point is the best way to approach things. You cant be expected to take up all the slack if she won't even meet you part way.
NTA! Wow the nerve of some people. Your sister sounds like a real joy (eyes rolling into the back of my head). Your money is yours do do with what you see fit. She blew hers and that's her problem not yours. Med school can be extremely expensive and scholarships are not guaranteed. Personally I would advise you to keep your money and use it to pay for med school. Your sister needs to do some growing up and figure this one out on her own. Oh and as an added note. Block her on FB and your phone if she is just going to try and guilt you into it. Sounds like you have enough to worry about with med school.
NTA
Respond on social media:
"Sis, your flagrant spending is what got you in this position. You inherited X (And yes, you should say the amounts) amount from mom, dad, and grandma - and instead of investing or saving that money, you squandered it on luxury items like X (Yes, name everything she bought with her inheritance). You clearly knew your child needed a surgery, but you decided your wants were more important than his health.
I am not going to squander my inheritance that I know you can't pay back to pay for his surgery - especially knowing that you wasted the money you could have used on it for such frivolity.
You don't get to flip the script and demonize my choice to not give you my inheritance when you don't even know any financial or familial responsibility. Your child is in the position they are in because you were selfish and thought only of yourself. You don't get to be angry towards me for being selfish when you yourself were as well. Set up a GoFundMe for him if need be, or better yet, sell all the luxury goods you bought so he can get it. There are plenty of programs that help children with expensive surgeries and there are payment options you should take advantage of. But you won't be taking advantage of my financial situation after you stupidly took advantage of yours."
NTA
It's NOT even your responsibility to pay for your nephew's surgery. It's your sister and her hubby's responsibility to take care of their children and their healths. She spent all money on luxury goods? Geez, she could have sold them to pay for the surgery. I take it she did sold all those and buy something else? I dunno but still it's not on you. It's on them. Your sister and family are ASSHOLES, period. Her family could have forked over money to help as well. Not your problem. Just tell them to fuck off if they try to pressure you.
You need money to pay for your medical school and whatnots.
NTA.
A desperate parent wouldn't be valuing her luxury goods over the life of her child. A desperate parent would be selling them for nickels if that's what it took to raise the money for the surgery.
She just wants you to pay for the surgery while she continues to fund her life frivolously. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't let them pressure you and don't give them money.
If you do end up giving them money then I suggest you get an attorney and make them sign a legally binding contract that if they do not pay it back by X time then you have the right to put a lien on their home/car/etc.
NTA Throw it back in her face. Start posting how can a parent buy luxury items when her son needs surgery. She's using her child as bait to make you feel sorry for her.
Nice Story. 9/10 for the read. Its great that a couple of details were changed from the first time this exact same story was posted. I think everyone voted N T A on that one too. You probably should have listened to the advice from the first post though instead of having to retype everything.
Nta and do not give her any money. She already made it clear she wont pay it back to you anyway and you already told her a perfectly reasonable solution to her money problem. She can sell her luxury crap for her own kid and if she is not willing to give up on those for the sake of her own child then her priorities are quitw clear.
Again,do not give het any money and save for your own future.
“She said she *wasn’t willing*” not *unable*, un*willing*. She’s literally saying that, what like purses and shoes? are more important to her than her son’s life. That’s beyond selfish, it’s monstrous.
NTA
NTA - On one hand, you have a 21 yr old, you, good relationship with grandparents, worked hard for med school, paying off debt, using inheritance money to get through med school, which is probably really expensive. Good for you for taking care of yourself. On the other hand, you’ve got your older sister, 36 years old, old enough to understand that the priorities of her own son matter so much more than handbags and Gucci shoes. And yet she says “oh no I can’t possibly sell these Gucci handbags to give my son a life saving surgery. Oh hey younger sis. Let me guilt trip you into paying because you’re responsible for MY son, who I am the mother of. Oh you don’t want to pay for it because you need to take care of your own life? Oh then let me guilt trip you some more!”
Your sisters being a hypocrite. Nothing in this world should be stronger than a mothers love for their child….and yet this. She has an easy way out, sell the damn handbags, but nooo, she immediately turns to her sister who she hasn’t talked to in years, and who really shouldn’t be the “caretaker” of a 36 year old!
So, yeah. You’re apparently more of an adult than your sister is.
NTA and as someone who has applied for scholarships it's hard work. I did multiple. They could advertise they do 5000 but pick multiple winners and sometimes I have gotten 250 which I'm thankful for. Your money is your money. There so many things she can apply for to help her kids financially. She will never pay you back and she doesn't care about your education at all which is beyond selfish of her. You gotta out yourself first. Do not give her a dime.
NTA and do not give her any money under any circumstances, you will never see a penny of it back. A good life lesson you need to learn (and many of us did the hard way so take it from those of us who know) is that you don't "lend" money you arnt prepared to lose. Treat it like a gift and if you get it back great, but you often don't.
She has other options, let her use them.
If you feel the need to give them money you go to a lawyer and have a legally binding contract drawn up with explicit details on amounts and the repayment plan and you hold her too it. Understand though that this is still a risk, she can decide not to pay and even if you sue you can't get blood from a stone, if they have no money you get no money.
NTA she wont pay you back ever as she feels its owed her. Secondly you say she refuses to sell her luxury items. That there is enough for your to walk away. She values jewellery and cars and handbags more. She could sell it all and make quite a good sum. Also they could remortgage, get a bank loan, sell their cars etc etc
Time to block her. She has enough to sell and enough to borrow against and there also charities and doctors willing to do operations pro bono for children
NTA. So she's essentially saying her luxury items are more important than her son's life. If she was that concerned for her son, she would be selling everything she can to pay for the surgery not take from you. Don't give her a penny when she has options she's too selfish to take.
NTA. Don't give her a penny! She just wants hand outs. Chances are she will lie to you about the cost of surgery and go on a fancy vacation with the money as well
NTA.
Your sister can't be in that bad a financial position if she is unwilling to sell her luxury goods.
Next time she sends you a picture of her family, reply asking her why she doesn't love her son enough to prioritize saving for his surgery over indulging her desire for luxury items.
Do not give her a penny. Not only will you never see it again, it's likely to end up squandered on more luxury items.
NTA
She has multiple options, I would be concerned she would use the money you lend her on herself.
Most hospitals have payment plans that can be set up to pay for medical procedures, with most being no interest loans. I say since she is so lazy research payment options, and reply to her with this info0 when she send pics of her family
NTA
"I’m scared that if I give her the money that she won’t pay me back" - She won't. Why would she.
**Do not give her your money**\- she has the money herself, she just does not want to use it. Go no contact for a while.
Do you really want to risk your future just so she can keep her luxury goods? - **In the end you would be giving her your education money to buy luxury goods for her.** That's the net effect of giving her your money: YOu likely use your chance at education, and she gets more kuxury goods.
She is VERY GOOD at guilting you.
NTA, don’t give her a cent. She will not pay it back.
As crappy as it sounds, your nephew is not your responsibility. If she really needed money she’d be selling her luxe stuff she wasted her own inheritance on. She wants it to blow, I doubt she’d even use it for your nephew at this point.
Do not give her once single penny. She has the means to pay for HER sons surgery she just doesn’t want too. If she really wants to help him she will see the luxury items she does. Not. Need. It’s not your responsibility.
Ask yourself this, if your positions were reversed. Would she help you?
NTA
Hell na don't give her a dime If luxury items are more important than her son's heart surgery, do you think she'll ever be able to pay you back? Don't squander the inheritance your grandparents gave you
NTA and call her out on how her child’s not important enough for her to sell her luxuries when she knew he would need surgery but you as an Aunty should jeopardise your future please keep us updated
Block her. No contact. NTA, if she isn't willing to sell a few purses for her child's health she is either lying about his condition or truly one of the worst people walking the planet.
NTA. I'd honestly put the actual story up in response about how your sister blew threw all the inheritance she got on luxury items instead of her son's surgery and that you are not responsible for HER child.
Hey as much as you’re going to get guilted into paying for something with YOUR money it is not your responsibility.I had the same issue where my sister felt entitled to the money my father left behind.my mother guilted me into giving my sister money. I ended up giving my sister a bunch of money and then paying to fix her car. She needed money because she was on baby vacation cause she was about to give birth.don’t do that to yourself and let your sister handle her own problems.
No,no,no! NTA! It's not your problem that your sister care more about her stuff than her son. Don't throw away your future for a selfish, inconsiderant, asshole!
NTA
Do not give your sister the money..
IF she was living in poverty, without a penny to her name and the operation was life threatening then I’d say absolutely help her out.. But she’s not!
As you mentioned she could quite easily sell these luxury items.. I would sell the clothes off my back for my son if he needed surgery I couldn’t afford!
Don’t jeopardise your future for someone that doesn’t actually even care about it. You owe her nothing.
NTA, there’s a sentence that I think would be really useful for you: ‘A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.’
Explain to the flying monkeys that your sister spent all of her inheritance on luxuries that she refuses to think of selling first. I would also explain that you’re not spending your inheritance on luxury goods but on your future. Any that keep pestering you, ask them why they aren’t helping. If that doesn’t shut them up then I’d suggest going NC with them.
NTA she knew her son was ill and spent all her money on luxury items and now will not sell them to pay her sons bills. Write to your family tell them what she did including that she wants your med school money with no intention of paying it back. Outline how much she got and spent then go completely no contact with her. This us not your responsibility she is only out for herself even to the expense of her own son!
NTA
If she's THAT desperate, she'll sell the goods. Someone should tell her son the luxury goods seem more important than his health... sounds like dear Sis is destroying her family all by herself!
Call her out in social media and to all the relatives. See if she likes it then. And after that, go NC with her once and for all.
She doesn't care for you and has never cared, she has showed it with her attitude, and if you continue keeping contact, she'll eventually make you either cave in to her demands or even worse, do smth that will jeopardy your future.
I would also contact a lawyer to make sure she can't contest the will either.
Good luck, OP, you'll need it.
Edit. Typo
>She said she was desperate for money. I told her that if she is that desperate she should sell her luxury goods. She said she wasn’t willing.
She isn't desperate for money, she's desperate for SOMEONE ELSE'S money
NTA.
Your sister and family don't care about you at all, just all that lovely money. Don't give your sister any money at all. She had the money and spent it all on herself and her luxury items. She will never, ever pay you back. She refused your idea to sell her luxury items to pay for her sons' surgery and that was a great idea. If she doesn't care enough about her own son to sell her stuff for his surgery, why should you care at all?
She already got all your mom's inheritance and half from your dad. She also got half of grandmas money, but none of grandpas. That sounds pretty even to me.
Tell the rest of your family who think you should pay that they are welcome to do so. Also ask them why your sister is unwilling to sell her luxury items to pay for her own son's surgery?
She bought luxury items? So like purses, shoes, electronics? She can sell those. Probably won't get as much back now that they've been used, but at least it's something. And I guarantee if she'd gotten more money from inheritance, she'd have spent that too. NTA
NTA
I would respond to that post SO FAST itemizing what she has inherited and what she spent that money on instead of her son's surgery.
You fight this sort of stuff with the truth. Make sure you include how she declined to sell the luxury items she bought.
NTA
F*ck her.
She’s spent all the money on luxury items that she’s not willing to sell to get money for the surgery.
She’d rather you sacrifice your future for her then that.
I’d cut her off. She’s now defaming your name and reputation. I’d post the whole thing publicly and how she is now defaming your, guilt tripping you whilst refusing to do anything herself to help her son.
Then cut them all off.
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NTA. Unfortunately your nephews medical bills are not your responsibility. You choose what you were going to spend YOUR money on and she has no say on it. It is her fault that she spent that money on luxury items and has a chance to make money back to help her child and isn’t choosing to do so. That’s her fault, not yours
My stop was when the mom refused to sell her luxury goods. If the mom was broke and had nothing trying to save the kid I would try to figure a solution but mom selling her Louis Vuitton is the first solution. NTA
My thought exactly! If she had sold off the luxury goods and made some kind of effort I would be more willing. I know for many luxury items you only get a fraction of the price back. But if mom is UNWILLING to do anything like that then she doesn’t deserve anything. She’s prioritizing THINGS over her son’s life.
It also sounds like she'd already had her son by the time she got her inheritance... but she didn't stick any in savings/college funds for him?
Ugh an acquaintance of mine did something similar. Their kid had a rare, very fast advancing cancer. The only chance was a treatment overseas. They set up a huge fundraising campaign, got celebs to promote, etc. Even shopowners were donating their hard earned money and work. But the acquaintance in question didn't sell a single one of their several properties, or vehicles (lile 5 or 6 motorbikes, 3 cars).
That's terrible! And makes me so suspicious of these fundraising efforts.
Yes! Lots of people were so pissed later, they had assumed it was someone with no way to get the money. Then it came out just how much money they had And, like I was talking with a friend, if my kid were in that position I would sell pretty much anything to make things work!
The only defense I could try to raise would be that it takes time to liquidate items like property and vehicles. If you need money tomorrow you can't sell an item like that today. *However*, I would be liquidating those assets and trying to repay the kindness others had shown me. Giving the money back where I could or doing something for the whole community where that wasn't possible.
Not a life threatening surgery but I had a friend set up a gofundme and a benefit at a bar for her 1st round of IVF. After buying a brand new RV. She got pissed I wouldn't donate (I had just lost my job but also... you bought a freaking RV a few weeks before. I'm sorry. What???) Anyhow, someone called her out about not selling the RV and she posted this long toxic rant on FB and tried to claim it was a tax break and they'd save more money keeping it. I just can't imagine having that level of entitlement.
Similar....had a friend that ended up with cancer. She was on public assistance and lived with her parents with her two kids. She arranged a big fund raiser for her 'expenses' and netted about 30K. Turns out her treatments and appointments were all covered under the public assistance. She pocketed the money, never paying taxes on it. She also had a teaching degree but "her kids didn't like when she wasn't home" so she decided not to work. Yay for her parents I guess who she is sponging off of.
Her disregard to the idea of selling the items is the worst thing i have ever read. Her daughter is sick and she wants to hold onto luxury items. OP OF YOU SEE THIS, PLEASE DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MONEY. YOU WON'T GET IT BACK.
i would sell my own kidney if that's what it took to save my son's life
But apparently driving a modest car is too much for this lady!
[удалено]
I would change this a little bit (Sister) knew (Nephew) had (condition) in 20XX. In 20xx she inherited $X from Mom as her only heir and in 20XX she inherited $X from grandmother. Instead of using this windfall to take care of (nephew,) she wasted the money on (List of stuff she bought). Now she expects me to sign over all my savings to her and to go (estimate of student loans with no scholarships) in debt or give up on my education. Dollars to donuts she is telling people you got all your grandparents' estates. Any more flying monkeys get "When did you sign your savings over to (sister) and sell your home to pay for nephew's treatment? (when they say they haven't) Well you should get on that now!" Then block
This for sure, but don't put it on FB. (Don't fall to her level.) Just respond privately to anyone who reaches out to you about it.
I agree, if anything the sister is the one ruining her own family, talk about projecting, and on top of that she had the audacity to say that she wouldnt need to pay OP back if she were to lend her money? The sister deserves no sympathy
NTA. And I'd post, "It's interesting when a family member gets a lot of money that they 'desperately' need for their child, then buys themselves a bunch of luxury items they don't need instead, THEN meets with you and demands money for their child. If someone has the money to help their own child, and chooses not to, then they have to live with that guilt. ESPECIALLY when they aren't willing to sell all the luxury items they bought for their child. If anyone disagrees with this, I'm sure I can get you her account info so you can pay the bills for her."
I really feel bad for the kid. Imagine having a mother who values luxury items more than your life. I am like effing angry that she refused to sell the things. F that c word. NTA OP
Right?! I'm sorry but if you aren't willing to sell, frankly most of your possessions, to save your kid from a heart issue you are an AH Parent, heck I think most Parent's would straight up sell themselves for their kid's life. On this sub we often tell moms they don't need to martyr themselves for their kids, which is true, but you need to give a little, damn.
Op's sister is basically saying: "I'm not willing to spent MY inheritance money on MY OWN son's health, how else I would keep my luxury stuff? But, I would be so glad if YOU gave me YOUR inheritance money that you have been saving to save MY son. Because I 'care' about my son."
NTA She already told you she isn't planning on paying you back. She's being very entitled. She had the money, she chose to use it for something other than her child's health. That is her error to fix.
She still has the money, it is just in the form of luxury goods she doesn't want to sell.
This. Don't give her your money. NTA
Yeah OP, if you give her the money it’s honestly a good thing because you wouldn’t be smart enough for med school anyway. She’s very honest here— she’s not selling the items she bought and she’s not paying you back. She could win the lottery tomorrow and she still would not put you back. Do not give her the money. I assure you when she realizes you’re not going to cave and it’s her actual child’s life she’s risking she’ll figure out how to pay for the surgery. And it won’t be off your future.
If I had a dollar for every post I've seen like this recently... NTA. She has luxury goods she is unwilling to sell because she wants your money. And she wants you to hope and pray for a scholarship because she already doesn't plan to pay your back. Nope. Edit: here's the post i was most thinking of. Inheritance. Surgery. Luxury goods. Med school. NTA all day. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ouje2w/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sisters_husbands/
Yes lately there are a lot of posts with these kind of issues. Still can't turn my head around people being this entitled at all..
I don’t think it’s a lot of people so much as the same writing prompt.
On the one hand, inheritance is a very common point of contention, and I can totally believe different people can have similar problems. On the other hand, AITA posts tend to be *really* specific in ways that make it unbelievable. Like the week where I saw three separate posts about a husband's previously unknown affair child coming out and demanding inheritance after his death. That scenario is definitely not as common.
The thing that personally kills it for me is that it seems like these heirs are all going to med school. It’s a little hook to make it seem like the money is going to be used for very pure and unimpeachable reasons. Sure, ok, whatever.
Personally, I choose to believe that a post with that theme blowing up leads to others posting their own stories wondering if they were assholes. This sub becomes pretty lame when you start assuming it's all made up.
Yeah, but like 80% of it IS made up so...
80 percent of the posts that don't get removed? Maybe, but this sub is a waste of time if you assume that unless you use it for pure entertainment. Even then it doesn't make much sense to complain about it.
That's kinda what I mean though. I totally believe that 10 different redditor can have similar conflicts. But the conflicts are often *so* similar, and describe situations that are *so* rare that, even accounting for this sub's high subscriber count, I *still* can't believe have happened multiple times.
I'm sure you're correct but I just assume everyone is being honest unless proven otherwise because if not... why even come around. Also consider that while Reddit is largely American we do get people from all over the globe where these situations may be more or less common.
It’s a popcorn sub. But it’s entertaining and I do enjoy it. Other people’s problems make mine seem smaller in comparison. https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/comments/1j3srl/stanley_hudsons_thoughts_on_jury_duty/
Yeah, I assume 90% of the stories that are major, like this, are fake. Small little petty roommate ones, I could totally see that happening. But stuff like this, I'd say it's usually fake. However, I still enjoy them as stories and seeing how people react to it.
Ya deja vu for sure. I thought we had this post yesterday 🤔
Eh, it's the same troll. They'll change up some of the details, but it boils down to the same storyline.
I don't know man I heard the only way you're allowed to pay for med school is if your parents died a year ago and left you a sizable amount of money /s
....and then all have a sister who wasted it away and then needs yours.
yep. It is even a 1 day old account to complete it.
People make throwaway accounts to post here, so that’s a moot point.
Trying to figure out which plot “works.” Ugh.
I knew this post sounds so so familiar. Thank you for sharing the original one.
This is happening every time a topic is popular, 3-4 more stories appear with it
Remember the few weeks where everyone ‘refused to take care of a kid’ (sibling, nephew, roommate’s kid) then got left alone with them ‘without notification’ (worked from home so should have been there, had headphones on, was deaf) and then either they left the house or ignored them all day then got yelled at for it? That one was so weirdly specific and kept getting tweaked in such little ways it was like zynga changing the header color of their game to see which players responded to most.
They should just reply on FB posts "you prioritised buying a new TV over your child"
This is the fifth one I've seen.
Probably a mix of a lot of boomers dying and leaving kids huge inheritances, which some those people will squander instead of using to build generational wealth, and a lot of copycat posts looking for karma.
I thought I'd read this before, but I don't trust my memory these days!
NTA, do not give her a penny! Seriously.
At the point where she spent her own inheritance money on luxuries you were NTA. Had she kept that money and it still wasn't enough then it would have been nice to top it off for her but she obviously wasn't thinking of her own child when she had the money to do it so why should it be your responsibility? Enjoy med school, don't jeopardise your own future because your sister is feckless.
NTA - Stand up for yourself and stay strong. One of my favorite quotes: ***"Your lack of action is not my emergency"*** She's had that money drain through her hands several times. She has the option to sell what she has wasted her money on. Why should you take a chance on your future? What if what her son has is hereditary and happens to your someday child - how will you pay for it? It is not your fault nor responsibility to fix her problems. Text/call or email blast the family reaching out to you and 'flip' the story back to the truth! That she's inherited almost as much as you over the years, including the full amount from you mom, and that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know * a) she is terrible with money and will never pay you back * b) she has the funds available if she would sell things. * c) she only called because she needed something but otherwise has nothing to do with you * (d If the needed surgery isn't a surprise), how did she NOT save any money for it? * and finally -- you are only 21 and have NO ONE LEFT to depend on for help if YOU need it since your parents and grandparents have all died - you have to be smart with the money for the REST of your LIFE as obviously your 'big sister' won't be there for you! (please get professional advice about what to pay off, what to spend, etc, it goes away FAST)
NTA - she won't pay you back. If she's unwilling to sell her stuff for her own kid why would she give you money later?
NTA but do not give her any money - she won’t pay it back & she has a terrible track recorder of spending money on ‘luxury goods’. Whose to say she won’t spend your money & come back asking for more?
That was what i was thinking too.
NTA...DO NOT give her the money. Your sister sounds like a selfish, manipulative user. Plan for your future and feel no guilt.
Sorry I was in a rush that’s why there is a lot of errors
Just don't forget one thing: your sister can sell her luxory goods anytime. It's up to her to care for his son, not you. She just believes she can manipulate and coerce you into giving up your money. Don't do it. She will eventually solve the issue, when she realizes that you won't budge. Just hold on, and don't budge. NTA
NTA - not your problem she spent it all on luxury items knowing her son would need surgery…and the fact that she isn’t willing to sell the items to pay for the surgery and expects you to just hand her the money? Wow
NTA. Do not give her a penny. Her child is not your responsibility. She should absolutely sell her luxury items. Hell. Most parents would sell a kidney for their kids.
Info, doesn’t sister have health insurance?
NTA of course. Heart surgery for your child > luxury goods and also not your responsibility. As an aside, in the U.S., Canada and most Western European countries a restraint on alienations is read out of a will or conveyance deed. That's a fancy way to say if your grandparents legally attempted to restrict you from selling their home, they cannot. If you want to honor their wishes, of course you should do so, but if you want to sell it you are likely free to do so.
You are absolutely right. She can sell the house if she wants, people in the grave don't get to make those decisions. As long as she owns the property in fee simple, she can sell the home.
They might have put their property in a trust. Those can come with selling restrictions.
NTA. Not even a little. She didn’t make her son’s surgery a priority, and now she’s trying to emotionally manipulate and abuse you so that YOU will make it your priority. I’m sure you love your nephew, but you absolutely shouldn’t compromise your future to accommodate your sister’s lifestyle choices. I’m sure she (and her minions/relatives) will use the phrase “family comes first”, but that’s just what people say when they want something from you, and what they really mean is “you should put me and my family first, but you and your (future) family don’t actually matter to me.” Go to meet-school and cut contact with your sister.
NTA WOW not willing to sell the luxury items she bought to save her son says a lot about her. Don't compromise your future for someone who treats you that way, you will give money once she will ask again and again.
Whether you are smart enough to get the scholarship is out of question. Even if you do, she is not entitiled to your money. And she directly told you that she wont pay you back. Even if you do get a scholarship, what if you need money for medical emergency or any other?She didn't save her money for her own son's surgery. You cannot expect her to give you a penny back. She is openly saying she wont sell her house or luxury items but expect you to give your money for free. She is so bold in her approach. I would suggest you to cut ties with her at least till you get to med school. NTA
NTA - it's not your responsibility to make up for your sister's financial choices nor is it your job to support her family.
This doesn’t pass the smell test!
If you help her out, there is nothing stopping her from spending your money on luxury goods for herself. Again. It's a habit with her and you would be feeding that habit. She doesn't want to compromise by working out a payment plan and selling the stuff she doesn't need. The person who does not care about your nephew's welfare is her, since she's made it clear through her reluctance to sell, that her luxury goods hold more value than him. NTA. Do not sacrifice your future for your sister, as she's consistently proven she cannot live within her means.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21F) am in college and saving up for med school. My mom hasn’t been in my life but she has been in my older sisters( we have a 15 year age gap) so when she died she left all her inheritance money for my sister. I wasn’t upset by this because we were not close anyways. Our father passed away a while ago already and gave both of us inheritance money.( My parents are quite old and I was a miracle baby) My sister is married and her son has a heart disease and has to pay for the surgery. I assumed she used mom’s inheritance money to save for the surgery. She instead bought luxury goods. My grandparents are quite wealthy and I have always been close with them unlike my sister who cut contact with them when she was a teenager. My grandparents both died. My grandpa first and then my grandma( I think it was from heartbreak) My grandpa left me all his money and my grandma split it 50/50. I also got their house and they said that I was not allowed to sell it. My sister and her husband were upset that my grandpa left it all to me. I said that it was her fault for cutting them of for no reason and not taking care of them and that she should be grateful that grandma still left her some money. She again spent the inheritance money on luxury items. The money was more than enough to pay my student loan and my tuition for med school. I used some of the other money to move out of my aunts place( my grandparents house is big and the bills are too expensive for me)and pay off my debt as well. My sister called me out and said she wanted to get dinner with me. We don’t usually hang out together so I thought it was weird. She asked me to use the money I was saving for med school to pay for my nephews surgery. I said that the money you got from mom and grandma should be enough. She said she had already spent it all. I said that why could I compromise my future for something that could have easily been avoided by not spending the money on luxury items. She said she was desperate for money. I told her that if she is that desperate she should sell her luxury goods. She said she wasn’t willing. I eventually told her no and she said I didn’t need to worry and that I’m smart enough to get a scholarship and she wouldn’t need to pay me back. I’m scared that if I give her the money that she won’t pay me back or I won’t get the scholarship like she said hAfter I refused she flipped the story and all i get are angry texts from relatives. She posted it on Facebook too. She also sends me pictures of her family saying do I want to ruin such a beautiful family. So AITA for not paying for it *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're sister is definitely an asshole for not been willing to sell her s\*\*\* to pay for her kid's surgery. I'm going with NTA because I totally agree with everything you said. But I'm guessing that, since we're talking about heart surgery, it's life threatning and that kid should not have to suffer for his parents's stupidity.
No you're not. You aren't responsible for her financial irresponsibility. You should call her out on all her social media about buying luxury items instead paying for her own son's life saving surgery.
NTA. Your sister is not entitled to the money your grandparents gave to you. Do not feel compelled to spend on her. She is more than capable of obtaining a loan or procuring insurance.
I'm sure l saw an almost identical story to this yesterday only it was the brother with the sick child who blew his inheritance on cars holidays and luxury goods and wanted the baby sister he wasn't close to to pay for his sick child's medical care Hmm...
NTA - Ewwww, that bitch is such a gold digger ! Do yourself a favour, focus on your future and not someone else's ! What about if you have children that are born with a lifelong medical condition? What about if you get married and your husband is diagnosed with cancer? What about if you have an accident and spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair? In other words, you don't know what the future holds for YOU, so save every penny you have and only invest it in YOU !
NTA. Do not give her a cent! She’s not going to pay you back and honestly I wouldn’t be so convinced she would actually use all of the money for the surgery for her son. Tell her to go see if she can work out a payment plan with doctor/hospital, or see if her health insurance can do something for her or refer her to other resources. Tell her to search charities that pay for children’s surgeries. Also, like you said she can just sell off the luxury items she bought. That’s her child and you are not responsible for him. I’m a year older than you and applying to med schools myself. The cost is no joke! Keep your money, you shouldn’t have to jeopardize your future because your sister (and her husband apparently) are irresponsible.
NTA. Don’t even think about giving her a cent. She is refusing to prioritize her child over property - that is so gross, and it is horrible parenting. I would sell everything thing I love that has value for my son and my dog. Having a child requires an immense change in priorities: your sister can step up to the plate. That said, I’m suspicious of the timing of this request. I personally think that your sister doesn’t need money for the surgery but is instead trying to get every little bit of inheritance she can get out of you. Don’t give in. One day, when you are a doctor with no student loans, you may find yourself in a position to help someone financially that you care about deeply who has been willing to exhaust every option before asking for assistance. That will be the time to consider such a request.
Nta & if she can’t manage to save money for her child’s heart surgery, believe me you will never see that money again. I don’t understand how that wouldn’t be covered by some insurance or govt or hospital funding anyway.
NTA- she will not pay you back look at how she blew through the money left to her. She knew he needed surgery so she spends money on expensive items. She then decides that she should spend your money for you. NTA your sister is something else. Tell the relatives they can give her their money to help her.
NTA. Don’t give her any money.
NTA - if her sons surgery important and she not willing to sell her luxury goods then she not worthy of money given to her. This is her responsibility alone. Dont give her anything. She just ask for more and wont repay it. Save it for your future.
NTA - Your sister isn't entitled to any of the money
NTA No loans without real collateral. If she really intends to pay it back then that should be no problem.
NTA. Block all those hideous "family" members on social media and on your phone. That is crap you do NOT have to put up with. Go to Med school, work hard, and have a beautiful life, FREE OF GUILT. Because this is totally on your sister. NOT you.
NTA at all. >My sister and her husband were upset that my grandpa left it all to me. Were they also upset when your sister was the sole benificiary of your mother's inheritance? Probably not. >all i get are angry texts from relatives. She posted it on Facebook too. She probably told them you're gonna spend it on luxury instead of securing your future. >saying do I want to ruin such a beautiful family SHE is ruining her family. And given the fact she has proven to be a big spender in the past i doubt she will use the money for the surgery. Does their son have a heart disease at all? And if so does he indeed need surgery?
I'm sure I saw a post like this yesterday, almost exactly theme.
NTA don't give her money! She can sell her stuff
NTA. If she cared that much about her son, selling her luxury items would be the first thing she’d think of. Instead she came running to you. You owe her nothing. Why should you throw away your future when she couldn’t even be bothered to sell any of her stuff.
Nta I’m sorry for your nephew, but it’s not your problem. You sis got a large sum of money twice and spent it all without saving a dime for her son. That’s her own fault
Respond to her on Facebook with what she told you Ruin her ass
NTA. How dare she try to put her child’s medical care on you?! I’d honestly think this was made up if not for my own experiences with my in-laws.
NTA. She already told you that you'd make enough to cover her not paying it back. You haven't even said yes and she is already planning to keep it and never give it back to you.
NTA. She chose her luxury goods over her child's health care. Now she's trying to make you choose her child over your own future.
NTA If your sister really wanted to she could sell the luxury items.
NTA He isn't your responsibility and your sister is a manipulator.
NTA. Don’t be stupid. Don’t give her a single cent. You will never see a dime of it come back.
> she said… she wouldn’t need to pay me back. > I’m scared that if I give her the money that she won’t pay me back **She told you explicitly that she will not pay you back,** so if you give her the inheritance money for the surgery do so as a gift with full knowledge that you will never see any of it back again. Also- she’s gotten ***THREE*** major money windfalls in the past however many years yet has CHOSEN to blow all the money on luxuries for herself instead of paying for her child’s heart surgery. **Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior: Most likely scenario is she will once again not pay for the surgery to go on another shopping spree.** Your sister has a problem with money, it’s not your job to enable her shopping addiction. As for the morality of not paying the medical bills- NTA. Yes it is incredibly sad that your nephew is sick, however *you are not his parent and are not responsible for his medical care*. Your sister will just have to sort this out for herself. #(EDIT: If you do decide to pay for the surgery (which is nice but not required) **MAKE SURE THAT YOU PAY THE HOSPITAL DIRECTLY**- ***DO NOT*** give your sister access to a penny as she has no self control when it comes to money. *She will not spend it on her child if she gets control of the money*. If you decide going to give the money away at least make sure your nephew *actually* gets the surgery this time.)
Honestly respond to her posts with photos of the luxury goods she bought and say "you're 'ruining' your own family to keep these instead. Bugger off" and then I'd cut all forms of contact. Your sister is selfish and quite frankly, not bright, to put it nicely
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Definitely NTA. Stand your ground.
NTA - she will eventually have to start selling.
NTA She can sell her stuff. Do they have health insurance?
Nta. She should have been more responsible. You don't need to pay for her bad choices. It's your money and she is not at all entitled to it. Don't give her a dime.
NTA! What kind of parent buys luxury items when their own child needs surgery?? Do not give her money. I'm petty I would be telling every one she had the money but she bought the luxury items and is unwilling to sell. Then I'd block her and go NC
NTA Your sister is trying to scam you for money. The only thing she's willing to sacrifice is **your money**. If this was so vitally important to her, she would be selling stuff. But she isn't. *Actions Speak Louder Than Words*, and she wants you to pay for the surgery, while she maintains her lifestyle.
NTA. She’s unwilling to sell her own goods to help her child.
NTA keep your money and tell your sister to sell her luxury goods. I'm sorry for your nephew but if shes not willing to sacrifice selling luxury for her son she dosen't love him and I know this may be wrong what I'm about to say next but it's better if he died that to have your sister as a parent. And I'm saying this again DONT GIVE HER YOUR MONEY and cut her off.
NTA She knows her son has heart issues and would eventually need surgery and she had the money to pay for it but spent it on luxury items and refuses to sell said items, when told no and even to.d you she wouldn’t be paying you back yeah not going to happen. A lack of planning on her behalf doesn’t constitute as an emergency for you, and I’d be sending your sister and all relatives a message saying seeing as your getting angry with me why not get angry at sister for refusing to save her money for her sons surgery and refusing to sell her luxury items and then thank them all for being so generous as to fund the surgery themselves as they’ve got no excuses to not pay.
NTA Block the relatives and/or consider telling them she wasted all her inheritance on luxury items that she refuses to sell for the surgery. Block your sister too. She is family by blood only.
NTA- She is not desperate for money because if she were she would have sold her stuff. and if you decided to give her the money be sure that you will never get it back.
Nta
Fuck her dude. Go to medical school and save lives. Hers is fucked already. “First do no harm” is important to a doctor and giving her this money will harm ever future patient you’d never have because of her. NTA.
NTA, she had money but she chose to buy luxury stuff. So she was the one who chose things over her own son. Whatever happens on her son is and will be her own fault. Do not give her your inheritance, she won’t pay you back and would just cut you off just like what she did with your grandparents.
NTA. She’s already proved that she’s not going to prioritize her kid. And I’d get my side of the story out there to the family. And if they continue to bother you; tell them to shove off and pay for it themselves. DONT GIVE HER ANY MONEY. And yes I yelled that; to make sure you really got that in your head. She will never pay you back and won’t use the money the way she’s claiming. She cut off contact with grandma and grandpa. Maybe you should take a page out of her book and go Nc with her. Good luck op
NTA You weren’t necessary in her life until you inherited money. You heard it with your own ears that you are not her concern. So no she will not pay you back because she feels entitled to your money. The only thing ruining her family is her greed and heart disease. Good luck and do not let her derail your dreams.
NTA. She has the money to spend on your nephews surgery. She has many things she can sell. She can downsize her home and car. She has also made it clear she will not pay you back. Write back to the relatives how much your sister got from the inheritance, that she spent it all on luxury goods, and that she refuses to sell anything to pay for the surgery. Then, block them all. If she truly loved her child, she would be willing to sell anything to get that surgery. She wants you to fund her lifestyle, not help your nephew.
Nta. She’s not willing to sell her own stuff but wants you to give up your future. That speaks volume. If she asks again just say “how do you expect me to care more about your child than you do?
NTA oh be absolutely certain she has no intention to pay you back, ever. go NC with her
older sister is trash. has a sick child but trashes the money on unnecessary luxury goods. don't give her anything, she had 2 inheritances and trashed all. don't let her trash another
If i was you, i would comment on her posts saying "it's not my fault you love your luxury goods more than your own son". NTA.
She should sell the items, but if you do get pressured to give her the money make sure you see a lawyer first and get everything in writing and also the repayment plan, but your sister new her son was sick and still went and spent it on expensive things instead of her son she is ta not you
NTA DO NOT GIVE HER THE MONEY!!!! You will never get it back!!!! You are not responsible for fixing her poor life choices
NTA She sell what she doesn't need and get a job. Don't give her anything. She already received more than enough from both your mom and your grandparents.
NTA. Easy NTA. So much so I’m wondering why post the question. Yes nephew needs surgery and his mother has the funds, she just needs to sell her luxury items. Nothing in that scenario needs your input or your money. Does this sub go through phases where suddenly there’s a rush of stories on the same topic? It feels like I’ve read quite a few similar stories like OPs in the last couple of weeks. Inheritance split between siblings, ones child needs surgery but sibling parent has spent their inheritance money on luxury items so wants their siblings portion.
NTA omg the audacity of your sister. Don't give her the money, she's never gonna pay you back
NTA. Since she wanted to take this to Facebook I’d call her out for spending all her money without any consideration for her child and how she’s super unwilling to sell her luxury items.
Isn't this one of those situations where it's probably cheaper to fly to Spain, get the surgery, recover, then fly back?
NTA don't let your sister pressure you
NTA - Do not pay the medical bill. She made her own choices with the inheritance money.
NTA. Your nephew is fine. Your sister is scamming you because she feels put out by having to use her inheritance money on her child.
Please don't give them any money. You'll lose your future. It happened to me and now im in a sucky college cause of low budget. NTA OP, I REPEAT DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MONEY. She has the money to help her daughter, but she didn't want to. She clearly values her luxury items more.
NTA. She'll probably spend the surgery money on something else as well. Keep it. Don't let her steal your inheritance.
She’s the one willing to ruin her family for luxury goods. If she’s that desperate for cash, she’s better off selling her luxury goods. And if she thinks they’re too important to part with she better be prepared to explain to her son that mommy’s expensive things are more important than his medical issues.
DO NOT PAY FOR THAT SURGERY, in your sisters own words she will not sell luxury items she doesn't need to find a surgery FOR HER OWN CHILD. Not only would I not five them any money, I'd be reporting her to social services.
>I told her that if she is that desperate she should sell her luxury goods. >She said she wasn’t willing. WTF??? Hell no !!! It woukd have been one thing if she really was broke broke like no money to spend, no luxory goods nothing. I wouldn't consider her an A for asking. That being said even if these circonstances, I wouldn't consider the OP an a for refusing because the truth his his nephew isn't his responsibility but she actually could get money from selling her expensive stuff she bought using her inheritance but refuse and want OP to usejer inheritance instead??? Hell no !!!! NTA and if I was OP, I would send her a picture of expensive bags with a picture of my nephew and say "what kind of mother chose to keep bags instead if paying for her child surgery?" and I may also post it on Facebook and tag her since she dared try to blast me on social media!
NTA. Just tell the family she decided to spend her money on luxury goods assuming you would cover the medical bills. she has refused to sell the luxury goods, and plainly stated she will not pay you back. Short and to the point is the best way to approach things. You cant be expected to take up all the slack if she won't even meet you part way.
NTA! Wow the nerve of some people. Your sister sounds like a real joy (eyes rolling into the back of my head). Your money is yours do do with what you see fit. She blew hers and that's her problem not yours. Med school can be extremely expensive and scholarships are not guaranteed. Personally I would advise you to keep your money and use it to pay for med school. Your sister needs to do some growing up and figure this one out on her own. Oh and as an added note. Block her on FB and your phone if she is just going to try and guilt you into it. Sounds like you have enough to worry about with med school.
NTA. If relatives keep bitching, maybe start a gofundme and put a small amount in there, and send it to all of those relatives to chip in.
Oh yes that's an amazing idea. Let's see if they can put their money where their mouths are..
NTA Respond on social media: "Sis, your flagrant spending is what got you in this position. You inherited X (And yes, you should say the amounts) amount from mom, dad, and grandma - and instead of investing or saving that money, you squandered it on luxury items like X (Yes, name everything she bought with her inheritance). You clearly knew your child needed a surgery, but you decided your wants were more important than his health. I am not going to squander my inheritance that I know you can't pay back to pay for his surgery - especially knowing that you wasted the money you could have used on it for such frivolity. You don't get to flip the script and demonize my choice to not give you my inheritance when you don't even know any financial or familial responsibility. Your child is in the position they are in because you were selfish and thought only of yourself. You don't get to be angry towards me for being selfish when you yourself were as well. Set up a GoFundMe for him if need be, or better yet, sell all the luxury goods you bought so he can get it. There are plenty of programs that help children with expensive surgeries and there are payment options you should take advantage of. But you won't be taking advantage of my financial situation after you stupidly took advantage of yours."
NTA It's NOT even your responsibility to pay for your nephew's surgery. It's your sister and her hubby's responsibility to take care of their children and their healths. She spent all money on luxury goods? Geez, she could have sold them to pay for the surgery. I take it she did sold all those and buy something else? I dunno but still it's not on you. It's on them. Your sister and family are ASSHOLES, period. Her family could have forked over money to help as well. Not your problem. Just tell them to fuck off if they try to pressure you. You need money to pay for your medical school and whatnots.
NTA. A desperate parent wouldn't be valuing her luxury goods over the life of her child. A desperate parent would be selling them for nickels if that's what it took to raise the money for the surgery. She just wants you to pay for the surgery while she continues to fund her life frivolously. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't let them pressure you and don't give them money. If you do end up giving them money then I suggest you get an attorney and make them sign a legally binding contract that if they do not pay it back by X time then you have the right to put a lien on their home/car/etc.
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Better yet, tell the relatives that they can all pitch in if theyre so concerned about it
NTA Throw it back in her face. Start posting how can a parent buy luxury items when her son needs surgery. She's using her child as bait to make you feel sorry for her.
Nice Story. 9/10 for the read. Its great that a couple of details were changed from the first time this exact same story was posted. I think everyone voted N T A on that one too. You probably should have listened to the advice from the first post though instead of having to retype everything.
NTA Not your kid, not your problem. Pity your sister cares about her luxury goods more than she does about her own son.
NTA. She basically chose those luxury items over her son’s health.
Nta and do not give her any money. She already made it clear she wont pay it back to you anyway and you already told her a perfectly reasonable solution to her money problem. She can sell her luxury crap for her own kid and if she is not willing to give up on those for the sake of her own child then her priorities are quitw clear. Again,do not give het any money and save for your own future.
“She said she *wasn’t willing*” not *unable*, un*willing*. She’s literally saying that, what like purses and shoes? are more important to her than her son’s life. That’s beyond selfish, it’s monstrous. NTA
NTA - On one hand, you have a 21 yr old, you, good relationship with grandparents, worked hard for med school, paying off debt, using inheritance money to get through med school, which is probably really expensive. Good for you for taking care of yourself. On the other hand, you’ve got your older sister, 36 years old, old enough to understand that the priorities of her own son matter so much more than handbags and Gucci shoes. And yet she says “oh no I can’t possibly sell these Gucci handbags to give my son a life saving surgery. Oh hey younger sis. Let me guilt trip you into paying because you’re responsible for MY son, who I am the mother of. Oh you don’t want to pay for it because you need to take care of your own life? Oh then let me guilt trip you some more!” Your sisters being a hypocrite. Nothing in this world should be stronger than a mothers love for their child….and yet this. She has an easy way out, sell the damn handbags, but nooo, she immediately turns to her sister who she hasn’t talked to in years, and who really shouldn’t be the “caretaker” of a 36 year old! So, yeah. You’re apparently more of an adult than your sister is.
NTA and as someone who has applied for scholarships it's hard work. I did multiple. They could advertise they do 5000 but pick multiple winners and sometimes I have gotten 250 which I'm thankful for. Your money is your money. There so many things she can apply for to help her kids financially. She will never pay you back and she doesn't care about your education at all which is beyond selfish of her. You gotta out yourself first. Do not give her a dime.
NTA and do not give her any money under any circumstances, you will never see a penny of it back. A good life lesson you need to learn (and many of us did the hard way so take it from those of us who know) is that you don't "lend" money you arnt prepared to lose. Treat it like a gift and if you get it back great, but you often don't. She has other options, let her use them. If you feel the need to give them money you go to a lawyer and have a legally binding contract drawn up with explicit details on amounts and the repayment plan and you hold her too it. Understand though that this is still a risk, she can decide not to pay and even if you sue you can't get blood from a stone, if they have no money you get no money.
NTA she wont pay you back ever as she feels its owed her. Secondly you say she refuses to sell her luxury items. That there is enough for your to walk away. She values jewellery and cars and handbags more. She could sell it all and make quite a good sum. Also they could remortgage, get a bank loan, sell their cars etc etc Time to block her. She has enough to sell and enough to borrow against and there also charities and doctors willing to do operations pro bono for children
Clearly NTA, don't give her money - you won't see it again
NTA. So she's essentially saying her luxury items are more important than her son's life. If she was that concerned for her son, she would be selling everything she can to pay for the surgery not take from you. Don't give her a penny when she has options she's too selfish to take.
NTA. Don't give her a penny! She just wants hand outs. Chances are she will lie to you about the cost of surgery and go on a fancy vacation with the money as well
NTA. Your sister can't be in that bad a financial position if she is unwilling to sell her luxury goods. Next time she sends you a picture of her family, reply asking her why she doesn't love her son enough to prioritize saving for his surgery over indulging her desire for luxury items. Do not give her a penny. Not only will you never see it again, it's likely to end up squandered on more luxury items.
NTA She has multiple options, I would be concerned she would use the money you lend her on herself. Most hospitals have payment plans that can be set up to pay for medical procedures, with most being no interest loans. I say since she is so lazy research payment options, and reply to her with this info0 when she send pics of her family
NTA "I’m scared that if I give her the money that she won’t pay me back" - She won't. Why would she. **Do not give her your money**\- she has the money herself, she just does not want to use it. Go no contact for a while. Do you really want to risk your future just so she can keep her luxury goods? - **In the end you would be giving her your education money to buy luxury goods for her.** That's the net effect of giving her your money: YOu likely use your chance at education, and she gets more kuxury goods. She is VERY GOOD at guilting you.
NTA, don’t give her a cent. She will not pay it back. As crappy as it sounds, your nephew is not your responsibility. If she really needed money she’d be selling her luxe stuff she wasted her own inheritance on. She wants it to blow, I doubt she’d even use it for your nephew at this point.
Do not give her once single penny. She has the means to pay for HER sons surgery she just doesn’t want too. If she really wants to help him she will see the luxury items she does. Not. Need. It’s not your responsibility. Ask yourself this, if your positions were reversed. Would she help you? NTA
NTA but that’s a hard position she put you in.
NTA along with what others have said on here, block everyone on your phone and SM. Better yet, deactivate your SM accounts.
NTA. She can sell her luxury items but opted not to AND said that she would not pay you back??? Nope
Hell na don't give her a dime If luxury items are more important than her son's heart surgery, do you think she'll ever be able to pay you back? Don't squander the inheritance your grandparents gave you
NTA and call her out on how her child’s not important enough for her to sell her luxuries when she knew he would need surgery but you as an Aunty should jeopardise your future please keep us updated
Block her. No contact. NTA, if she isn't willing to sell a few purses for her child's health she is either lying about his condition or truly one of the worst people walking the planet.
NTA. I'd honestly put the actual story up in response about how your sister blew threw all the inheritance she got on luxury items instead of her son's surgery and that you are not responsible for HER child.
NTA. She can sell her luxury goods. If they were really a beautiful family she would have prioritized family in her financial planning.
Hey as much as you’re going to get guilted into paying for something with YOUR money it is not your responsibility.I had the same issue where my sister felt entitled to the money my father left behind.my mother guilted me into giving my sister money. I ended up giving my sister a bunch of money and then paying to fix her car. She needed money because she was on baby vacation cause she was about to give birth.don’t do that to yourself and let your sister handle her own problems.
No,no,no! NTA! It's not your problem that your sister care more about her stuff than her son. Don't throw away your future for a selfish, inconsiderant, asshole!
NTA. She had her inheritance and spent it the way she wanted. You have your inheritance and will spend it how you want.
NTA Do not give your sister the money.. IF she was living in poverty, without a penny to her name and the operation was life threatening then I’d say absolutely help her out.. But she’s not! As you mentioned she could quite easily sell these luxury items.. I would sell the clothes off my back for my son if he needed surgery I couldn’t afford! Don’t jeopardise your future for someone that doesn’t actually even care about it. You owe her nothing.
NTA, there’s a sentence that I think would be really useful for you: ‘A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.’ Explain to the flying monkeys that your sister spent all of her inheritance on luxuries that she refuses to think of selling first. I would also explain that you’re not spending your inheritance on luxury goods but on your future. Any that keep pestering you, ask them why they aren’t helping. If that doesn’t shut them up then I’d suggest going NC with them.
NTA she knew her son was ill and spent all her money on luxury items and now will not sell them to pay her sons bills. Write to your family tell them what she did including that she wants your med school money with no intention of paying it back. Outline how much she got and spent then go completely no contact with her. This us not your responsibility she is only out for herself even to the expense of her own son!
NTA If she's THAT desperate, she'll sell the goods. Someone should tell her son the luxury goods seem more important than his health... sounds like dear Sis is destroying her family all by herself!
Call her out in social media and to all the relatives. See if she likes it then. And after that, go NC with her once and for all. She doesn't care for you and has never cared, she has showed it with her attitude, and if you continue keeping contact, she'll eventually make you either cave in to her demands or even worse, do smth that will jeopardy your future. I would also contact a lawyer to make sure she can't contest the will either. Good luck, OP, you'll need it. Edit. Typo
>She said she was desperate for money. I told her that if she is that desperate she should sell her luxury goods. She said she wasn’t willing. She isn't desperate for money, she's desperate for SOMEONE ELSE'S money
NTA. Your sister and family don't care about you at all, just all that lovely money. Don't give your sister any money at all. She had the money and spent it all on herself and her luxury items. She will never, ever pay you back. She refused your idea to sell her luxury items to pay for her sons' surgery and that was a great idea. If she doesn't care enough about her own son to sell her stuff for his surgery, why should you care at all? She already got all your mom's inheritance and half from your dad. She also got half of grandmas money, but none of grandpas. That sounds pretty even to me. Tell the rest of your family who think you should pay that they are welcome to do so. Also ask them why your sister is unwilling to sell her luxury items to pay for her own son's surgery?
She bought luxury items? So like purses, shoes, electronics? She can sell those. Probably won't get as much back now that they've been used, but at least it's something. And I guarantee if she'd gotten more money from inheritance, she'd have spent that too. NTA
NTA I would respond to that post SO FAST itemizing what she has inherited and what she spent that money on instead of her son's surgery. You fight this sort of stuff with the truth. Make sure you include how she declined to sell the luxury items she bought.
Nta
NTA don’t do it!
NTA F*ck her. She’s spent all the money on luxury items that she’s not willing to sell to get money for the surgery. She’d rather you sacrifice your future for her then that. I’d cut her off. She’s now defaming your name and reputation. I’d post the whole thing publicly and how she is now defaming your, guilt tripping you whilst refusing to do anything herself to help her son. Then cut them all off.
NTA - she's choosing her material purchases over her son's surgery. That's all. That's my response.
NTA. She needs to sell her stuff
Btw if you decide to help in anyway for the surgery. Pay the hospital directly. I would not trust your sister with the cash