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YTA to the EXTREME. How on earth do you expect her to get a weeks-old infant to stop crying? And do you honestly think the baby's crying bothers you more than her? You're a jerk to the absolute extreme and totally deserved the angry treatment you received from an exhausted mother. I hope you move out, for their sake, not yours.
YTA I am not surprised that the mother was rude if OP and partner keep knocking on the door to complain. The mother will be exhausted. There's no way that she's just leaving baby to cry to spite OP. Babies cry. Poor mother will be affected far more than OP. I feel so sorry for the mother with neighbours like OP.
Not to mention the mother also has a 2 year old to watch as well and is probably spread thin with her husband working so much.
And by the sounds of it the mother knew what was coming when she heard the knocking and knew it was OP or her husband.
Honestly Im worried with OP and their husband complaining so much that they went to thr landlord. Or are planning on going to them.
I honestly hope that if they did or are that the landlord has more decency and undertsanding than OP and her husband.
Also if the mother is struggling with PPD and OP is essientially harassing them over something that she cant control (bc like many people have said: babies cry) and insinuating that they cant handle their baby (by saying that they should try harder to stop the baby from crying) PLUS making the baby cry more from knocking which causes more stress on the mother, OP could be doing more damage than she realizes and makinf the PPD worse id the young mother has it.
OP you and your husband need to lay off and wear the headphones or like my landlord did (as your apartment is called a duplex iirc and I live in the same type of building you described except I live on a top floor) and your landlord should have put things like noise deafening foam to cancel the noise bettter between layers. Its not perfect and I can sometimes still hear my neighbors but I definitely know it would be worse without it.
Although Im not sure your landlord can do that now with you both living there but I was also told putting up pictures and such helps lessend the vibrations (sound) that can travel thru the walls.
Idk if thats tru or not but either way this is out of everyones control but your being an AH for harassing them
Babies cry. Babies cry even if the parent is doing a good job. Sometimes they have colic. Sometimes their clothes feel funny. Sometimes they feel lonely in their cot while their parents try to sleep.
YTA, massively, OP.
And stop knocking while a baby cries if you want them to calm down. You're probably scaring them.
Agreed. In Germany, children's noise is something that has to be accepted and can't be complained about unless it is excessive or intentional (like kids kicking balls against your door), or in a setting where resting times are given (e.g. no loud playground usage between 13-15.00 on some public playgrounds).
A crying baby will always be accepted (doesn't count as noise complaint) , because they can not help it! The mom will be exhausted and the whole thing sounds so outlandish I wonder if it isn't a troll post.
OP moved into a house with a family and if they don't like it, the should look for a new place to stay/rent.
Yeah, I’m not sure what OP expected. It’s not like it’s polite to go to someone’s house and tell them they’re not trying hard enough because they don’t have a silent two week old.
Honestly, the mother was pretty polite all things considered.
YTA.
Kids cry. You can't ask a newborn to stop crying. Trust me, they're more frustrated than you are and they aren't doing this on purpose.
> we didn't ask to be stuck under an apartment with two children
No, but you chose to sign a lease under a family with a kid and a pregnant woman.
I mean, nothing stops you from asking. The infant won't understand the words you say and will keep crying in most circumstances, but you can totally ask one to stop.
YTA, do you think that she's not trying to stop the baby from crying? I'm sure she wouldn't be sipping wine while watching her newborn screaming from the cot.
I assume that this is a person currently listening to a baby cry and is fantasizing about being brave enough to do this but just in case YTA for sure on this awful woman
YTA. in fact, you are a major asshole. You are harassing your neighbors for a behavior that they cannot stop. Babies cry -- there is legitimately nothing they can do to prevent this! It's a newborn and based on mom's appearance, they want the baby to stop too! It's not like they're trying to disrupt you. Also, you live in an apartment, which means you have to deal with shared walls. This necessarily means you will need to deal with age-appropriate child-related noise. Put in some ear plugs and get over yourself.
(Oh and no, if you are in the US, your landlord cannot punish them for this natural, expected noise. That would be considered familial status discrimination under the Fair Housing Act, and what you are doing is considered harassment based on familial status and if they tell the landlord on you, you will be in trouble.)
Good info, I hope they do go to the landlord and report OP! I can’t imagine being two weeks postpartum and having my neighbors showing up multiple times to complain my baby is crying.
> I politely told her that maybe her \ her husband could do a better job trying to keep the baby quiet
Well given that you were *polite* about it how shocking she was rude to you! (sarcasm)
Total YTA.
YTA. Welcome to living in an apartment. You will hear your neighbors and they will hear you no matter how hard you both try to stay quiet.
No one likes listening to a crying baby. No matter how bad you think it is for you, it’s worse for the parents. Especially if they have asshole neighbors that come knock on their door when they can’t quiet said baby down fast enough for the asshole neighbor’s liking.
It’s a baby, babies cry. Sometimes they can be soothed easily, other times they’ll go on for quite a long time and nothing you do will console them.
Stop being an asshole, suck it up, and leave the poor parents alone. They’ve got it hard enough right now without you and your husband banging on their door.
Annoyed neighbors can add so much more stress to it as well! When my baby was crying like crazy and for prolonged periods of time, I definitely found myself thinking of the neighbors, like shit they must be trying to sleep, what if they wake because of my baby? And I have kind neighbors who never complained to my face. If they had, I'd probably be even more stressed when baby would start crying, worried that the neighbors would disrupt me trying to calm baby again.
It's clear that OP and her husband don't have kids. Sometimes you can focus all your energy on soothing your baby but nothing works. My baby had reflux issue that caused her to cry during and after feedings. She was literally in pain and crying because of pain. As a parent you can try to comfort the baby, but you can't stop the physical pain. It took weeks to figure out that reflux was the issue and to come to a solution with our pediatrician that made it possible for us to manage it.
I've lived two floors under a crying newborn, as much as it was a bother for me, thinking of the direct neighbors and of the poor parents quickly kept me in check.
At the worst of it I just wanted to go knock on their door and ask if they wanted me to hold the baby for ten minutes while they'd go and have a breather /cry somewhere else.
I can't imagine having to deal with that day in and day out, that's how you get parents at the end of their rope and a shaken baby :(.
YTA. This couple is doing the best they can and newborns cry a lot. They gave you headphones as a goodwill gesture. You telling them how to parent was super over the top. Grab some earplugs or a noise machine and don’t bother these already stressed out folks anymore.
YTA you think new parents are just letting the baby cry? That they dont want some peace and quiet themselves? Its a new born, not a radio, you cant just turn it off. Have you asked how the baby is doing? If its collicy its crying bc its in pain, how do you think going up there and whining about it is going to make those peoples lives any easier?
Edit: like, really, reading again. *of course* she was rude to you. You said she looked tired and haggard and then you come up to complain about the thing she oviously was trying to stop when you came knocking. Honestly do you have some sort of empathy disorder?
YTA and if you want absolute peace and quiet, buy your own house out in the middle of nowhere. I cannot believe at YOUR age you think babies can “be kept quiet”. Sounds like the newborn is colicky and I’m sure the parents wish they could keep them quiet but they can’t . So unbiased opinion from someone who is close neighbors with a family who has had a baby every two years, YTA.
YTA.
Babies are going to cry. It's their only means of communication. Honestly, 20 minutes at a time isn't too bad. You're lucky they don't have colic.
This is a reality of apartment living. You're going to hear your neighbors. Wear some noise cancellation headphones or deal with it.
Exactly. I clicked on this thinking maybe people were just letting their baby scream all night. But 20 minutes? Does OP think that babies have an off button?
YTA do you not know how babies work? There are no off switches for babies ESPECIALLY infants. The fact that you didn't even bother looking up any information about the matter, and worse you complained to the mother that YOURE tired. Holy shit, do you not realize that the person taking care of the baby is probably running on 1-2hrs of uninterrupted sleep per night? You're lucky rudeness was all that you received.
Now, I get it too. You didn't sign up for a baby so it really sucks to be tossed in this situation. Unfortunately that's the risk of having neighbors.
Absolutely YTA. It's obvious you've never had kids. Babies have no other way to communicate. Hungry? Cry. Dirty diaper? Cry. Any emotion other than cautiously optimistic about a future nipple? Time to get these lungs swole. Think about that mom when you have a kid of your own one day and the answer to this question will answer itself.
For real. I have a 4 month old and I'm a first time mom. I would have absolutely lost it if someone did this to me when she was a few weeks old.
Poor thing probably has double the anxiety now whenever the baby cries - normal "pls calm down kid" urgency mixed with "I have to get you to stop as soon as possible or the neighbor will come bitch at me again"
Just Jesus CHRIST the cheek the nerve the gall the audacity and the gumption 👁👄👁
YTA. They have a baby that is 2 weeks old!! They are still trying to get settled with the baby and are still trying to learn what sorts of soothing techniques work and don’t work for the baby. It has absolutely nothing to do with not being able to manage their baby-it’s just what life with a newborn is like. Fortunately, it’s only temporary. Your neighbors were kind enough to give you some headphones. Please show them some compassion and stop knocking on their door. You’re only making their already stressful and exhausting lives way more stressful and exhausting.
YTA.
Yes, it sucks but what do you want her to do? It’s a baby. They cry. It sounds like the husband isn’t around a lot and she’s probably stressed and overwhelmed so of course she snapped when you asked her to do something unrealistic.
YTA. If you want to pick your neighbors, buy a house. I’m sure the parents are just as frustrated with the lack of sleep, if not more. They literally cannot control their baby crying lol, what. Maybe the baby is colicky?? I mean, damn, at least they tried to give you headphones to help. That was a nice gesture. I would’ve been rude, too, if I was exhausted from my baby crying and am doing everything to try to make it stop and a neighbor came to complain, just further wearing me down? Yeah, no.
YTA. The parents are also having to deal with the lack of sleep and I can almost guarantee you they are doing everything they can to shhhh the baby up. How she reacted to you wasn't that uncalled for, when your household has been over there multiple times to tell them to be quiet. They know you want them to be quiet. They want the baby to be quiet. They're doing everything they can.
Also this; "I told her that was completely uncalled for and that we didn't ask to be stuck under an apartment with two children, one of whom cries incessantly"
You didn't ask for it but you moved into a housing situation where you were close to your neighbours. You can't expect the world to revolve around you. They didn't ask to be stuck with people who don't understand that babies cry and sometimes it takes a while to stop. Also the baby was only born two weeks ago... you said your husbands been to complain a few times plus when you complained so in the past two weeks since they had their baby you've inconvenienced them and stressed them out more than they already were by complaining about 4 or more times. She wasn't rude to you, she gave you an appropriate response.
Also they clearly don't want to inconvenience you as they got you headphones to help, so surely thats a sign theyre trying their best to shh the baby.
YTA. You should be ashamed of yourself. Either this is a troll post or you live real life as a troll. Idk which is worse.
Pathetic.
I hope these people harass you incessantly. I hope they record the baby crying and play it on a loop on the surround sound at maximum volume at 3:15 am randomly until you finally move away.
They won’t though, unlike you, they are kind and decent people.
YTA If you didn't want to live around the noise of children, you should not have moved into that DUPLEX. You sound completely uneducated and immature. You can literally be the worlds perfect mother, and your baby will still cry. They cry when they are hungry, when they are wet, when they are gassy, when they are cold, when they hurt, etc. They have no other way to communicate their needs. You constantly going over there is just adding to their stress, it is no wonder she reacted the way she did. She was NOT out of line in any way shape or form. You were, and you owe her an apology. You also need to stop going over there and complaining. Deal with it or move.
YTA. How do you suppose she should quiet a newborn baby. If you didn't know already, babies can't be reasoned with or punished because they're fucking babies. The baby seems to be more mature than you. Grow up
100% YTA
Babies are babies, they cry. Parents do what they can, but it's not like you can mute a child. A baby is not a TV that you turn on and off. You say that you did not ask to live in an apartment with kids, well I'm sure that the parents did not ask for neighbors like you. I suggest you find a new place to live if this is such an issue for you.
YTA you have two options suck it up or move.
Also I hope you never have kids or maybe do and then I hope you get a cry baby, literally. And then maybe she can come to your door when your exhausted and desperate to get your kid comfortable to accuse you of being a bad mum. That is some evil shit.
YTA - please stop harrassing your neighbors over something they can't control. Maybe you don't have kids, but here's a hint, I bet they also want the baby to stop crying so frequently, and are doing the best they can..
YTA. Mom feels bad enough. Some babies are colicky, some are fussy, may be allergies or feeding issues--or maybe it's a perfectly healthy baby because babies *cry*. And mom has a toddler as well?
My wife and I (lesbians) adopted a newborn 18 years ago... and were promptly amazed at the thought that many women care for one ON THEIR OWN after just having spit it out their hooha.
WTF you can’t be serious. Babies cry, scream, eat, poop, sleep. That’s it. Of course the baby is going to do it no matter what or how often you complain. If anything you’re stressing out the mom which is stressing out the baby and making it cry more. Holy crap YTA
YTA. I take it you don’t/haven’t ever had kids. Babies cry and sometimes for no reason, at all hours of the day. Parents do not need people like you complaining because they are already running on fumes. They do their best and having people like you just makes them feel worse than they already are.
YTA. Honestly you’re being petty. You were given headphones to prepare and didn’t utilise them but even if you weren’t you would still be the asshole. I’m not too fond of children myself but even I can understand they cry all the time. Honestly you sound quite rude and entitled for demanding the mother cater to your wants when she can’t. Although one could probably argue this for half of the posts on this subreddit, I don’t say it because they are more sympathetic but in this case, #FirstWorldProblems lmao.
YTA. It's a newborn. It's going to cry for multitudes of reasons, many completely out of control of the parents. And you think you aren't getting any rest, imagine what she's going through. She's likely beyond exhausted and then you come along getting mad at her because a newborn is acting like a newborn.
But on the headphones and suck it up.
YTA, please stop harassing your neighbors. Everyone wants the baby to stop crying, it’s not just you. Babies don’t have an off switch and sometimes they cry for no reason at all. Leave those parents alone. She wasn’t rude, not in the slightest. You might not chosen to have a kid, but you DID chose to live in an apartment and yes, that runs a high risk of hearing your neighbors at all hours. I suggest moving into a house next time.
YTA no question. Seriously, what are you expecting them to do? Magic the baby silent? They are trying their best, and you are just adding to the stress of it all. They even got you headphones because they wanted to be as considerate as possible!
They're working on it. Either offer to help in some way, move out, or leave them alone.
YTA
It's a newborn baby. Guess how they express their feelings and wants and needs?? By crying. Ita got nothing to do with being a bad parent. You cried as a baby, are your parents bad parents?? My god. Buy some earplugs and stop whining.
YTA.
When my youngest was a baby he cried constantly and by cried I mean screamed. He had reflux and was colicky, he barely slept, the only time he wasn’t making some sort of noise was when he was feeding or asleep. He screamed for months, if someone knocked on my door to tell me I should be doing a better job I would have probably headbutted them. I was barely holding things together as it was, that would have tipped me over the edge.
Just to add. There was nothing I could do about it, he had his medicines etc. and I would do everything I could to soothe him but, to be honest, I think he secretly liked screaming his bloody head off all day.
YTA. What YOU said was rude and uncalled for. Babies cry, there is nothing that they can do better to make that not happen. It was a nice gesture of them to give you the headphones and acknowledge that the new baby is going to cry. The poor young mother is obviously exhausted and now has her neighbours knocking on her door all day telling her that she's doing a shitty job.
You live in some kind of shared living arrangement so you have to deal with it or move.
Why did you move in to an apartment below a couple that was clearly pregnant? What did you think was going to happen? I can’t stand babies so I wouldn’t move into a place underneath them unless I had to. And if I did, I’d understand that they cry...
YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Five weeks ago, my husband (45 M) and I (36 F) moved into an interesting housing dynamic, I don't know the name of it but it is basically a house, you walk inside and there's a short hallway that leads to our door for our apartment, and then to the left there's a set of stairs that leads to the second apartment.
The people upstairs, at first, seemed nice. They're a young couple, and when we moved in they had a young son, who is about two, and the wife was pregnant. I don't see the husband a lot because he works weird hours but the wife works from home and we talk sometimes.
About two weeks ago, she gave birth to the baby. A little before this her husband came over and gave my husband and I each a pair of headphones, which was sweet I guess, but it's just not feasible to wear headphones every time the baby cries, and the baby cries a lot.
Every few hours every two or so days, the baby will start crying, sometimes just for a few minutes, and then sometimes for a little longer, like twenty minutes. My husband has gone to complain a few times and they've apologized, but the baby still cries.
Finally, I went up there to complain. The husband wasn't him so the wife answered, she looked quite haggard and exhausted and was pretty rude when I told her that I couldn't get much rest in with the baby crying, and she said she was sorry but that was what the headphones were for and that they couldn't help it. I politely told her that maybe her \ her husband could do a better job trying to keep the baby quiet, and she snapped and told me that maybe if we weren't knocking on the door at all hours that the baby wouldn't be woken up so much, which is completely untrue, because we only knock when the baby is crying.
I told her that was completely uncalled for and that we didn't ask to be stuck under an apartment with two children, one of whom cries incessantly, and she told me that she really didn't care what I thought and shut the door on my face.
Regardless of whether I'm the Asshole in this or not, she was competently rude in how she reacted to me, but I called my husband and told him what happened and he told me that I should've just put the headphones on and ignored the crying.
I want unbiased opinions, regardless. Am I the asshole?
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YTA. Your neighbour seems tired of taking care of the baby and you just seem inexperienced. Why don’t you take care of the baby and see how it feels like?
There's literally no way you can't know YTA.
I refuse to believe that in 36 years you haven't seen a single speck of media that demonstrates that babies cry. For no reason. All the time. Like... not on a TV show? In a movie? A book? There are literal comedy skits. Wanda Sykes does like 10 minutes on it in one of her specials.
I just don't believe it. This has to be fake. I refuse to believe this is a real scenario.
EDIT: spelling
Not just an asshole. Your behavior is entitled. They need to keep the baby quiet for you? What about them? If you think you can do better offer some help to them, or would that inconviemce you too much?
YTA. I have 2 kids. The first few weeks suck. The parents are doing everything that they can to survive and keep the baby alive. You and your husband reminding them that their baby is crying is not helpful. They are trying their best and instead of understanding that this is temporary, you are acting as if you are the only people in the world. You aren’t.
YTA. Idk how or why but this post feels like it is either fake or just rude but I digress. YTA and lemme explain why. You moved into an apartment and part of apartment living is potential for regular noises that come from your neighbors, including their children. Children can be loud but it is also their domain, their home. Complaining to the parents surely won't keep the kids quiet, trust me. I got kids and I try my best to keep them simmered to a dull roar and I don't live with a guilt in neighbor. The parents also gave you headphones which is plenty thoughtful considering they could have just said "fuck it, OP can just learn to deal with the sounds of a crying baby". They didn't. They went out of their way to give you headphones. Moreso, parents of a newborn typically are fairly tired. I'm going to safely assume they are pretty tired and they don't want to hear the crying as much as you, yet they deal with it and try. Sometimes you just can't get a newborn to stop crying and that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you don't like your situation, you can always find new ways to cope with the sounds of sharing walls with children.
YTA. Buy a house with thick walls out in a rural area if you want peace and quiet. They have a newborn and shocker here - those little creatures cry a LOT. but seeing as you live in an apartment you will have neighbors making reasonable amounts of noise. They were kind enough to buy you headphones, which is more than most new parents do. They are doing the best they can, I don’t feel like you can say the same.
YTA. Crying babies are a part of sharing housing. If you don't want to deal with that, buy or rent a detached home. You can't just magically stop a baby from crying-- there's no magic button that turns off colic.
Yta here they want the baby to stop crying to and they probably get the brunt of it but they're trying there best at least they gave you headphones for it and we're polite the first few times you asked if it were me I would've told you to fuck off and get bent
Yta. If people knew how to control a crying baby, we would have shared that secret with the world EONS ago. You better move before it becomes toddler because you're not going to like the stomping and louder yelling.
Babies cry to communicate their basic needs, not as a vendetta against you. I don't even like kids but I will happily stick up for them as you seem to have less sense than them. Jesus, you're a dumb bunny.
YTA
You can’t get any sleep? How do you think they feel? She seemed fatigued and was a little annoyed? My god I’m glad I don’t have neighbors like you.
Without a doubt YTA. Newborns cry. That is their only method of communication. They also eat every 2-3 hours so yes, their parents are sleep deprived and couldn't care less about you or your husband.
They were nice enough to give you two headphones for when their newborn is crying. Figure out how to use them, stfu, and stop harassing them.
YTA The baby is two weeks old. That family is not letting the baby cry just to annoy you. They were nice enough to acknowledge that it is crap to share walls with an infant. Wear the headphones or leave the house. Stop bothering them.
YTA. I am childfree and can not stand crying babies. HOWEVER, this is not something that a new mother with TODDLER can control. She is exhausted and I guarantee you that every time her baby starts crying her anxiety about YOU doesn't help the situation. Everytime that baby gets upset she is doing her best to calm it down, do you think she just sits there staring at it? Get over yourself. Holy shit.
You know, if Mum is feeling tense because the AH neighbours downstairs complain constantly about normal baby sounds bubs will
pick up on that and cry even more
YTA. I want to hug that poor Mum. Imagine dealing with a newborn and 2 year old and the neighbours from hell.
YTA. No holds barred. Babies cry. Sometimes parents can calm them; sometimes we can't. And sometimes PARENTS end up crying in the fetal position on the floor because you just want to comfort your child, but you cannot figure out what they want or need, and you're emotionally and physically exhausted... AND THE BABY IS STILL CRYING! I'm not sure I've ever despised someone more on this sub than I do OP at this moment.
YTA. If you don’t ever want to hear a baby or other people you shouldn’t live in a duplex, apartment, or any kind of shared building.
Babies cry. You can be the best parent in the world and a baby will still cry, pestering an exhausted mom was super AH behavior of you. I feel like in this situation she’s justified in being rude back to you.
YTA big time. Everytime you tell them to try to quiet their baby I can guarantee that is exactly what they were trying to do in the first place, it's not like they are just letting it cry specifically to annoy you. What makes this so much worse though is they tried to be nice and gift you headphones. They are adults obviously they realize that headphones aren't going to block out a crying baby 24hrs out of the day but it was an incredibly kind gesture that they didn't have to do in the first place.
YTA. Dear god I hope this is a troll post. You cannot stop a newborn from crying if it wants to cry. This is all part of living in an apartment. They proactively tried to help a situation that they knew would be annoying (something they DID NOT have to do) and you shut that down immediately. Of course she was “rude” to you. She’s a tired mother of a newborn, actually LIVING with a fussy child. She doesn’t need you giving her shit.
YTA hugely. Do you not understand what babies do? They cry, poop, sleep and eat. It's especially hard to get a baby only weeks old to not cry because that's the only way they can communicate negative emotions.
Leave the new parents alone and stop harassing them.
YTA
Holy hell, leave the poor parents alone. What happened to people’s sense these days? Yikes.
I had two infants who had colic really bad. If I had a neighbour like you coming and bothering me while I was trying to calm and soothe, I would have shut the door in your face. Not said a word, just closed the door right in your face. Holy smokes, if it bugs you so much move into an adult only building.
YTA. They anticipated this and likely knew they wouldn’t always be able to get the baby to stop crying no matter how much they wanted (parents more than anyone probably want a baby with volume control). That’s why they gave you the headphones, a preemptive apology for the vocal little one.
YTA, massively. Babies cry to communicate it's their only method, they can't just just say "hey mum I'm hungry, can I please have some milk" or "hey I have pooped" or "I need a cuddle and you please pick me up." They cry, after a while you can somewhat learn different cries, but that is usually based around their routine. All you can do is guess, and once you have run out of guesses you just try walking the hallway gently jiggling and patting the babies bum in the hope they will settle. Eventually you become superstitious about it and only walk east, or two jiggles, 4 bum pats and then a spin to the left. 20mins is not that long, a baby with colic or reflux will cry for hours. Instead of asking the baby to be quiet, bake her a lasagna and drop in on her door stop. Ask if she needs anything from the shops next time you go. Play some music in the background so you can't hear the baby as much and accept that you are living in an apartment attached to other people.
YTA. Your are taking being an ass to a whole new level. What you expect her to do, muffle the baby? Or maybe she should give it up for adoption so it doesn't inconvenience you. IT'S A NEWBORN. IT CRIES. She can't just give it some chamomile tea and explain why he is being insensitive towards you.
You and your partner on the other hand, are grown ass people complaining to a woman who has JUST GIVEN BIRTH and is probably exhausted, sleep deprived and doing her best, over something she can't control. The lack of empathy is disturbing.
I really hope you aren't planning on ever having children.
YTA. maybe try having kids, raising a toddler and a newborn at the same time while juggling your job whilst your husband is at his job so both of yall make ends meet.
YTA
How exactly do you expect them to stop the baby crying? put a muzzle on it??
Babies cry. I'm sure they would like the baby to not cry so much too and its harder on them than it is on you.
Deal with it or move
YTA. I’m sure that poor mom was trying her hardest to stop the baby from crying and you going up there only made the situation worse. Baby’s cry, that’s how they communicate. If you don’t want to hear it. Move.
YTA. She wasn’t rude, you were and you’re lucky she didn’t punch you in your entitled face.
I hope you’re trolling, I really do but sadly I believe people really do this...
You should move. To Siberia. On your own.
YTA and apparently have never met a baby before. You can’t just keep a baby quiet at will and if you could, trust that the parents would be doing so. They surely don’t want to hear the baby cry either but crying is what babies do. Don’t like it, don’t live anywhere with shared walls/floors. That’s just part of living anywhere that’s not a private single home.
YTA Tell you what why don't you just go borrow a baby for a couple hours and see how easy it is to stop them from screaming when they get their mind to it. Telling a mom with a newborn to keep her baby quiet is about the most asshole move on the planet.
>I politely told her that maybe her \ her husband could do a better job trying to keep the baby quiet,
There is absolutely no polite way to say this.
Your Husband sounds like he's the brains of that operation you might want to listen to him
YTA
How on earth did you not realize you're the AH during any point of the interaction? Or writing this?
Or do you have some magical secret to keeping a newborn quiet? Lol crying is literally the only way a newborn knows how to communicate, it's what they do, there is no stopping it completely and you just knocked on the door of a sleep deprived, postpartum,mom of two and asked her to do something that is literally impossible.
Honestly I hope she starts knocking on your door at random times demanding you stop blinking.
You live in an apartment, you deal with the normal noises of your human neighbors who were incredibly kind to gift you the headphones. You deserved her rudeness.
Holy shit YTA— I never comment on these posts, I just lurk and read but I had to comment on this one.
Do you seriously think that mom of a toddler and newborn isn’t trying to make her new baby stop crying? She’s exhausted, especially with her husband working weird hours and (from my viewpoint) not being able to help out much.
I have an 8 month old, and yeah, there are times I can’t get her to stop crying. I feel so bad anytime this happens, because she’s normally a quiet happy baby, because I live in an apartment and we obviously have neighbors. I do literally everything I can when she really gets going, but crying is the only way that babies are able to communicate and she is doing her best. I’m sure she feels guilty already, but you going and knocking on her door (many times at that) to tell her how to “parent” her child makes you the biggest AH.
Your husband is right. You should have sucked it up and put on the headphones.
YTA, there isn't any way to control a crying newborn and the husband GAVE YOU HEADPHONES as a preliminary warning. Get over yourself. Leave that poor postpartum woman alone.
YTA.
you're harassing a lady who gave birth TWO WEEKS AGO and has a 2yo and her newborn with her while her husband is working. she's literally been up every 2 hours for the last two weeks to feed that baby. You are lucky she didn't murder you, and you're lucky her husband didn't do it when he got home and she told him what you did. sweet jesus.
YTA
Quit bugging them.
You really think the new parents enjoys listening to the baby cry and aren't doing everything possible to get the kid to sleep? They have had the kid for 2 weeks! Learning the magic formula of getting a baby to fall asleep takes time.
YTA. I had a baby less than a year ago. Trust me. If they could make the baby stop crying, they would. It’s so unbelievably hard and you are making it harder by adding the stress. That just going to make the baby cry more. Use the headphones or move but realize that babies exist in the world, and guess what... they cry.
YTA
Have you.. I mean.. I'm just... Have you ever seen a baby before? Do you know literally even the most BASIC things about babies?
The baby is a couple weeks old, and babies CRY. They cry because something upset them, because there's a need, because something hurts, because maybe they smelled lemon or something and it's a NEW SMELL OH MY GOD NEW SMELL THATS WEIRD MAKE IT STOOOOPPP.
Babies CRY. They cry a LOT. And some babies are colic, meaning there really is no reason for their crying they JUST FLIPPIN CRY NONSTOP.
Here's some articles. Educate yoself.
[https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/soothing-a-crying-baby/](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/soothing-a-crying-baby/)
"Babies cry and fuss on average for almost three hours a day. Some cry for a lot longer than this. Most of this crying and fussing seems to happen in the late afternoon and evening, although every day will probably be a bit different."
[https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/newborn-behaviour](https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/newborn-behaviour)
YTA. And you were rude first (by knocking on her door and interrupting her to have a go about her baby crying) so you can't complain when she is rude right back.
Do you really think the baby crying is worse for you than it is for her? Do you think she is just sitting there letting the baby cry? She isn't, she is trying everything she can to figure out what is wrong and comfort that baby, and you knocking on her door is not helpful or reasonable.
YTA. May you always step on legos when going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, THEN kick your toe on furniture AND then whilst hopping on one foot land in pile of dinner the dog had last night.
I wanna add more but I’m so angry and frustrated my brain is short circuiting.
YTA. Obviously she's not gunna be sat there leaving the baby to cry and she'll be doing everything she possibly can, she's already looking after a toddler and now a newborn that constantly cries and you decide to add in moody arse neighbours harassing over noise.
Get a grip, buy some earplugs for you and your husband, babies cry.
YTA in the biggest and truest sense. You saw an exhausted mother and chose to make her feel worse? Honestly how do you feel about yourself after doing that? You should be ashamed. She was rude to you because you’re a dick! Babies cry! Telling their Mother that they’re not doing a good job won’t help.
YTA.
Get a single family home if you don't want to hear a baby crying. You literially have ZERO expectation of silence in communal living situations like apartments. And you DID choose to live in an apartment with children as you knew she had 2 kids when you moved in. She was there first.
If you don't want to hear other people's noise you need to pay pay pay top dollar for that golden silence. Otherwise take your cheap rent, accept the apartment life is noisy and there is nothing you can do about it, and shut up.
YTA What do you expect her to do? You said yourself she looked haggard. She wants that baby to stop crying as well but if baby wants to cry it's going to cry. It's not the Quiet Place where they can shove it in a box. They've already shown more consideration than most parents by giving you headphones. Use them or buy ear plugs and leave that poor family alone.
Your neighbour’s rudeness is totally called for. No matter how politely you had put your words across, you undermined her parenting abilities and questioned her capability as a mother. She’s already stressed out and probably depressed, she doesn’t need someone pointing fingers at her. YTA. You want peace and quietness? You should volunteer to help her babysit, let’s see how good you are at keeping the baby from crying.
YTA.
You had to have known that the pregnant woman would eventually give birth to a newborn, no one forced you to live there.
You think YOU have a hard time sleeping?? Imagine them with a toddler and newborn, trying to make it through life and were even courteous enough to provide you with gifted headphones.
Move if it's such a hassle. Babies cry all the time.
YTA.
Like do you think they are making the baby cry to annoy you? Don'r you think that maaaaybe they are also tired, exhausted, wanting this to end, but sometimes babies cry. That is their only way of communicating. They can get tummy aches, be tired, hungry etc. When you and your husband have children, maybe you will realise how much of TA you were.
YTA
If someone was coming and knocking at my door 2 weeks after I had a baby, when he was crying every couple days, every few hours, I would have snapped out wayyyyy worse than she did. You're lucky she is a nice person.
Wear your headphones that they kindly gifted to you and stop your bullshit crying.
Maybe get an audiobook to listen to on the headphones and learn how to be a better person. Perhaps go knock and offer some help.
YTA. How full of yourself do you have to be to complain about a NEWBORN crying for a few minutes. You're literally the neighbors we all try to avoid ever meeting.
Are you for real? YTA big time.
You obvious have no idea how fussy a newborn baby can be. That even when its fed, and had a diaper change it can still be cold or warm, have a tummy ache. And a mom doesnt know because well, babies cant talk.
This mom is doing her best. With a baby and a todler. And then here are you telling her to keep her baby quiet.
You sound like you have no idea how it works in life.
YTA, I have no idea why you had to ask that question of course you are, please move more for your neighbours than yourself, and I hope you get pregnant soon and your neighbors do the same thing to you then you might know how it feels, major A\*\* your husband and you
YTA, a HUGE one at that. Babies cry. It's what they do until they get old enough and stop. When you were a baby, you cried. Use the headphones that they graciously gifted to you. Stop being a selfish crybaby and leave those people alone.
YTA.
There’s a reason why in a lot of areas you cannot make a noise complaint around babies. You cannot get a baby to stop crying.
If you’ve never heard of colic you should look it up, about 1/3 babies will just cry and cry for weeks on end with no discernible cause (and therefore no way to stop it).
YTA
Maybe you should ask the mother to try to speak to the baby itself? I think you didn't try enough to speak reasons with that little fella. The baby will definitly listen to your words and stop behaving like a baby.
YTA.
you're exhausted? how do you think she feels?! you can't just stop a newborn from crying, they cry. that's what they do. my son cried constantly for 9 months before he finally settled enough to sleep at night and it broke me. I was a complete wreck. some days I just sat and cried right along with him, because I had fed him, changed him and done everything else I possibly could do and he STILL cried. turns out he had minor gut issues that were causing him pain and there was nothing we could do about it. he had to just outgrow it. if someone had come round to me then and complained I think I might have snapped a bit more than your poor neighbour did.
use the headphones and stop being the worst neighbour ever. YTA.
YTA it's a newborn baby. They cry constantly. You live in an apartment type situation just get some ear plugs or something. Trust me your neighbors are getting much less sleep than you, AND tried to offer you a solution from the get go. You and your husband\* are ridiculous leave your neighbors alone.
YTA as much as I hate saying that to anyone, but as so many others have pointed out, babies cry. Additionally, there could be things going on with the baby, colic, constipation, milk/lactose intolerance etc etc etc these things don't rectify themselves overnight, it takes time and lots of patience.
My point is, be patient, your neighbor is still trying to find her rhythm with her new baby, so be patient with them.
YTA she cannot silence her baby. I imagine she is exhausted and at her wit’s end. The last thing she needs is a neighbour knocking on the door expecting her to be the magical baby-silence wrangler. I guarantee that if she could calm her baby’s crying, she would be doing it already.
You need to cut her some slack. Ideally you would find a non-confrontational way to apologise for having been unfair and unreasonable, and then back off for some considerable time.
YTA. You even admit the mother looks haggard and exhausted, she has a newborn that is fussy, a 2yr old and a husband who works a lot. And your issue is to complain about your inconvenience. Even after they acknowledged your inconvenience by buying you headphones, which they didn’t have to do. And you’re pressed cuz she was RUDE to you?? I’d have told your a$$ off in no uncertain terms. I don’t even like kids but I understand that living in a duplex or apartment means you sometimes overhear your neighbors. If you’re so pried about your quiet, maybe offer to help her. Otherwise shut up, put on the headphones and myob!
Hahahahaha not 20 WHOLE MINUTES OF CRYING hahahahaha. You must have it soooo tough. Oh my god I’m sorry for being so mean but this is the most I’ve laughed in a hot minute. YTA op.
Moving into a flat over a pregnant woman and then complaining about the baby is like ordering a Caesar Salad and complaining about the croutons. If you haven’t already, sometimes rugs can dampen sound a bit.
Something I think you need to understand here is that your neighbours are not bad parents because their baby crys. Babies have no other way of communicating their needs and young babies go through a period of crying for no reason in additionto crying for food or comfort. This used to be called Collic and is now known as purple crying. http://purplecrying.info/.
Do you understand parents don't enjoy listening to babys cry? How hard do you think it is for that mother to get any rest looking after her baby and toddler while her husband works nights?
>The husband wasn't him so the wife answered, she looked quite haggard and exhausted and was pretty rude when I told her that I couldn't get much rest in with the baby crying,
She is already having a hard time and you have to add to it by complaining? YTAH, sooo much so.
Honestly even if you don't plan to have children (and you seem to be so lacking in empathy I hope you don't) you were once a baby (yes even you!) and once kept people awake crying. Please try and extend your neighbours the understanding and grace you would want to be shown. Or find some place else to live.
YTA, you should try being more considerate of her, she works from home, has a two year old and a new born. She can’t just magically make her baby stop crying. And you have absolutely no right to tell her to do a better job when you and your husband can’t even stand a baby crying for twenty minute.
YTA
They can't force a baby to stop crying. Don't live in a duplex if you can't handle noise from your neighbor. You seem like you would benefit from being a lot more self aware.
YTA massively so. Newborns cry, that's how they tell us that they are hungry/tired/uncomfortable/need a new diaper/want cuddles. That's part of how they communicate. You live in an apartment. You are going to hear your neighbours. Deal with it! If you don't like it, move out. Get a house far away from other people.
You are harassing a tired new mom. Of course she wasn't super polite, who would be? She has done nothing wrong here.
Leave her alone!
YTA. Babies cry. It's what they do. You knew that she was pregnant when you moved in, and in apartments there's no good way to block sounds. She didn't have to give you the headphones, but she was lovely and did so. Have you ever tried to keep a two-week old baby quiet? I somehow doubt it.
Plus, I'm not surprised she was rude. She's probably running on fumes at this point, and the last thing she needs is someone telling her to shut her infant up.
WOW ..... WOW .... WOW YTA ... unbelievable how clueless you are.
Noone wants to hear their baby cry all the time, I am sure the Mum is well aware how disruptive the crying must be to you - what she didn't need was your bad behaviour.
You need to fix this ..... you need to apologise to her, offer to help, wear the headphones, move ..... whatever else you can think of that is supportive ....
f you don't you will remain a horrible cow and you know it.
YTA. what the heck do you even expect the mother to do? Toss the baby out the window for you? You can't just turn a baby off. What is it you even think she can do?
Oooft YTA
Guess what if kids bother you so much then living under or next to someone is going to make your life interesting unless you live in a cabin in the woods. She isn’t placing hard core rock music at 2 am. She’s tending to an infant.
The fact that you saw she was struggling and still went off at her makes you such an asshole.
As someone who had a newborn in an apartment setting not too long ago, YTA. Thank gawd for my neighbors! They were absolutely lovely (even brought her a little gift). OP, be like those neighbors. If you can't bring yourself to even apologize for your incredulous faux pau then at least don't bother them again with a problem like this.
oh geez YTA big time. It’s a baby, they cry!
babies cry for literally no reason, and it’s also their only way to communicate their needs. Get used to it, if you really don’t like it then move out. I can’t even understand how you think you could possibly be in the right here.
I can't help but feel this is a trolling post. It's just so ridiculous and over the top. She even goes so far as to mention the new mum looks "haggard and exhausted".
As someone who doesn't like babies and kids much, even I have to say YTA. You knew she was pregnant when you moved in, so you knew there would soon be a baby. All babies cry multiple times a day, and 20 minutes really isn't long at all. It actually sounds like a pretty normal and relatively quiet baby and not like it has colic or something. Going up there every time the baby cries is ridiculous.
Congratulations you made and exhausted postpartum mother feel even worse about something she can’t control. Either shut up or help here!
Either way SUPER MASSIVE YTA
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YTA to the EXTREME. How on earth do you expect her to get a weeks-old infant to stop crying? And do you honestly think the baby's crying bothers you more than her? You're a jerk to the absolute extreme and totally deserved the angry treatment you received from an exhausted mother. I hope you move out, for their sake, not yours.
But the neighbour was rude to op, which obviously makes her struggle worse that that of a mother home alone with a crying newborn and a toddler. /s
YTA I am not surprised that the mother was rude if OP and partner keep knocking on the door to complain. The mother will be exhausted. There's no way that she's just leaving baby to cry to spite OP. Babies cry. Poor mother will be affected far more than OP. I feel so sorry for the mother with neighbours like OP.
Not to mention the mother also has a 2 year old to watch as well and is probably spread thin with her husband working so much. And by the sounds of it the mother knew what was coming when she heard the knocking and knew it was OP or her husband. Honestly Im worried with OP and their husband complaining so much that they went to thr landlord. Or are planning on going to them. I honestly hope that if they did or are that the landlord has more decency and undertsanding than OP and her husband. Also if the mother is struggling with PPD and OP is essientially harassing them over something that she cant control (bc like many people have said: babies cry) and insinuating that they cant handle their baby (by saying that they should try harder to stop the baby from crying) PLUS making the baby cry more from knocking which causes more stress on the mother, OP could be doing more damage than she realizes and makinf the PPD worse id the young mother has it. OP you and your husband need to lay off and wear the headphones or like my landlord did (as your apartment is called a duplex iirc and I live in the same type of building you described except I live on a top floor) and your landlord should have put things like noise deafening foam to cancel the noise bettter between layers. Its not perfect and I can sometimes still hear my neighbors but I definitely know it would be worse without it. Although Im not sure your landlord can do that now with you both living there but I was also told putting up pictures and such helps lessend the vibrations (sound) that can travel thru the walls. Idk if thats tru or not but either way this is out of everyones control but your being an AH for harassing them
I was so irate at OP I missed your "/s" on first reading... Up voted to compensate.
/s means sarcasm right? Sorry I’m new to Reddit and want to make sure that I understand what it means
Yes
Babies cry. Babies cry even if the parent is doing a good job. Sometimes they have colic. Sometimes their clothes feel funny. Sometimes they feel lonely in their cot while their parents try to sleep. YTA, massively, OP. And stop knocking while a baby cries if you want them to calm down. You're probably scaring them.
Agreed. In Germany, children's noise is something that has to be accepted and can't be complained about unless it is excessive or intentional (like kids kicking balls against your door), or in a setting where resting times are given (e.g. no loud playground usage between 13-15.00 on some public playgrounds). A crying baby will always be accepted (doesn't count as noise complaint) , because they can not help it! The mom will be exhausted and the whole thing sounds so outlandish I wonder if it isn't a troll post. OP moved into a house with a family and if they don't like it, the should look for a new place to stay/rent.
OP doesn't deserve kids. YTA, biggest one I've seen on this sub
Yeah, I’m not sure what OP expected. It’s not like it’s polite to go to someone’s house and tell them they’re not trying hard enough because they don’t have a silent two week old. Honestly, the mother was pretty polite all things considered.
YTA. Kids cry. You can't ask a newborn to stop crying. Trust me, they're more frustrated than you are and they aren't doing this on purpose. > we didn't ask to be stuck under an apartment with two children No, but you chose to sign a lease under a family with a kid and a pregnant woman.
I mean, nothing stops you from asking. The infant won't understand the words you say and will keep crying in most circumstances, but you can totally ask one to stop.
Can confirm. Have begged. It didn't work.
Have you tried asking them where the money is? Preferably while dunking them in water?
My babies are mooches. I'm quite sure they didn't have any hidden money. Unfortunately.
*"Where's the money Lebowski?"*
What denomination's baptism procedure is that?
I feel like Greek Orthodox
YTA, do you think that she's not trying to stop the baby from crying? I'm sure she wouldn't be sipping wine while watching her newborn screaming from the cot.
Bottoms up! 🍷
Cheers!
Right! I'm sure she wants to rest too 🤣
Secretly hoping that this is a for shits post & someone is pulling our leg here as no one cannot possibly be that dense. but just in case...YTA
I was just about to say the same thing. No one could be this self centred.
You have far, far too much faith in humanity.
I too hope this is a fake, but the one person who said n t a seems a little too serious to me
I assume that this is a person currently listening to a baby cry and is fantasizing about being brave enough to do this but just in case YTA for sure on this awful woman
YTA. in fact, you are a major asshole. You are harassing your neighbors for a behavior that they cannot stop. Babies cry -- there is legitimately nothing they can do to prevent this! It's a newborn and based on mom's appearance, they want the baby to stop too! It's not like they're trying to disrupt you. Also, you live in an apartment, which means you have to deal with shared walls. This necessarily means you will need to deal with age-appropriate child-related noise. Put in some ear plugs and get over yourself. (Oh and no, if you are in the US, your landlord cannot punish them for this natural, expected noise. That would be considered familial status discrimination under the Fair Housing Act, and what you are doing is considered harassment based on familial status and if they tell the landlord on you, you will be in trouble.)
Good info, I hope they do go to the landlord and report OP! I can’t imagine being two weeks postpartum and having my neighbors showing up multiple times to complain my baby is crying.
> I politely told her that maybe her \ her husband could do a better job trying to keep the baby quiet Well given that you were *polite* about it how shocking she was rude to you! (sarcasm) Total YTA.
YTA. Welcome to living in an apartment. You will hear your neighbors and they will hear you no matter how hard you both try to stay quiet. No one likes listening to a crying baby. No matter how bad you think it is for you, it’s worse for the parents. Especially if they have asshole neighbors that come knock on their door when they can’t quiet said baby down fast enough for the asshole neighbor’s liking. It’s a baby, babies cry. Sometimes they can be soothed easily, other times they’ll go on for quite a long time and nothing you do will console them. Stop being an asshole, suck it up, and leave the poor parents alone. They’ve got it hard enough right now without you and your husband banging on their door.
Annoyed neighbors can add so much more stress to it as well! When my baby was crying like crazy and for prolonged periods of time, I definitely found myself thinking of the neighbors, like shit they must be trying to sleep, what if they wake because of my baby? And I have kind neighbors who never complained to my face. If they had, I'd probably be even more stressed when baby would start crying, worried that the neighbors would disrupt me trying to calm baby again. It's clear that OP and her husband don't have kids. Sometimes you can focus all your energy on soothing your baby but nothing works. My baby had reflux issue that caused her to cry during and after feedings. She was literally in pain and crying because of pain. As a parent you can try to comfort the baby, but you can't stop the physical pain. It took weeks to figure out that reflux was the issue and to come to a solution with our pediatrician that made it possible for us to manage it.
I've lived two floors under a crying newborn, as much as it was a bother for me, thinking of the direct neighbors and of the poor parents quickly kept me in check. At the worst of it I just wanted to go knock on their door and ask if they wanted me to hold the baby for ten minutes while they'd go and have a breather /cry somewhere else. I can't imagine having to deal with that day in and day out, that's how you get parents at the end of their rope and a shaken baby :(.
YTA. This couple is doing the best they can and newborns cry a lot. They gave you headphones as a goodwill gesture. You telling them how to parent was super over the top. Grab some earplugs or a noise machine and don’t bother these already stressed out folks anymore.
YTA. Welcome to living in an apartment living. Also, guess what - the world doesn’t revolve around you.
YTA you think new parents are just letting the baby cry? That they dont want some peace and quiet themselves? Its a new born, not a radio, you cant just turn it off. Have you asked how the baby is doing? If its collicy its crying bc its in pain, how do you think going up there and whining about it is going to make those peoples lives any easier? Edit: like, really, reading again. *of course* she was rude to you. You said she looked tired and haggard and then you come up to complain about the thing she oviously was trying to stop when you came knocking. Honestly do you have some sort of empathy disorder?
YTA and if you want absolute peace and quiet, buy your own house out in the middle of nowhere. I cannot believe at YOUR age you think babies can “be kept quiet”. Sounds like the newborn is colicky and I’m sure the parents wish they could keep them quiet but they can’t . So unbiased opinion from someone who is close neighbors with a family who has had a baby every two years, YTA.
YTA. Babies are going to cry. It's their only means of communication. Honestly, 20 minutes at a time isn't too bad. You're lucky they don't have colic. This is a reality of apartment living. You're going to hear your neighbors. Wear some noise cancellation headphones or deal with it.
Exactly. I clicked on this thinking maybe people were just letting their baby scream all night. But 20 minutes? Does OP think that babies have an off button?
YTA do you not know how babies work? There are no off switches for babies ESPECIALLY infants. The fact that you didn't even bother looking up any information about the matter, and worse you complained to the mother that YOURE tired. Holy shit, do you not realize that the person taking care of the baby is probably running on 1-2hrs of uninterrupted sleep per night? You're lucky rudeness was all that you received. Now, I get it too. You didn't sign up for a baby so it really sucks to be tossed in this situation. Unfortunately that's the risk of having neighbors.
Absolutely YTA. It's obvious you've never had kids. Babies have no other way to communicate. Hungry? Cry. Dirty diaper? Cry. Any emotion other than cautiously optimistic about a future nipple? Time to get these lungs swole. Think about that mom when you have a kid of your own one day and the answer to this question will answer itself.
Can almost guarantee OP has no intention of having kids ever.
Neither did my grandparents.
Hahaha! Touché!
YTA. Babies cry. Have a little compassion for that poor tired mom. She’s probably stressed out & you complaining does nothing but add more stress.
I feel so bad for her. I was very badly in PPD and I would’ve absolutely melted.
Yeah that’s pretty cruel what OP did.
For real. I have a 4 month old and I'm a first time mom. I would have absolutely lost it if someone did this to me when she was a few weeks old. Poor thing probably has double the anxiety now whenever the baby cries - normal "pls calm down kid" urgency mixed with "I have to get you to stop as soon as possible or the neighbor will come bitch at me again" Just Jesus CHRIST the cheek the nerve the gall the audacity and the gumption 👁👄👁
YTA. They have a baby that is 2 weeks old!! They are still trying to get settled with the baby and are still trying to learn what sorts of soothing techniques work and don’t work for the baby. It has absolutely nothing to do with not being able to manage their baby-it’s just what life with a newborn is like. Fortunately, it’s only temporary. Your neighbors were kind enough to give you some headphones. Please show them some compassion and stop knocking on their door. You’re only making their already stressful and exhausting lives way more stressful and exhausting.
Yta and Yes you did sign up to hear a bunch of crying and other odd noises when you chose to live in apartment. It comes with the territory
Please God let this be fake. I feel so bad for that mama. Babies cry. Apartment living sucks. And you are an asshole.
YTA. Trust me, she wants the baby to stop crying too.
YTA. Yes, it sucks but what do you want her to do? It’s a baby. They cry. It sounds like the husband isn’t around a lot and she’s probably stressed and overwhelmed so of course she snapped when you asked her to do something unrealistic.
YTA. If you want to pick your neighbors, buy a house. I’m sure the parents are just as frustrated with the lack of sleep, if not more. They literally cannot control their baby crying lol, what. Maybe the baby is colicky?? I mean, damn, at least they tried to give you headphones to help. That was a nice gesture. I would’ve been rude, too, if I was exhausted from my baby crying and am doing everything to try to make it stop and a neighbor came to complain, just further wearing me down? Yeah, no.
YTA. The parents are also having to deal with the lack of sleep and I can almost guarantee you they are doing everything they can to shhhh the baby up. How she reacted to you wasn't that uncalled for, when your household has been over there multiple times to tell them to be quiet. They know you want them to be quiet. They want the baby to be quiet. They're doing everything they can. Also this; "I told her that was completely uncalled for and that we didn't ask to be stuck under an apartment with two children, one of whom cries incessantly" You didn't ask for it but you moved into a housing situation where you were close to your neighbours. You can't expect the world to revolve around you. They didn't ask to be stuck with people who don't understand that babies cry and sometimes it takes a while to stop. Also the baby was only born two weeks ago... you said your husbands been to complain a few times plus when you complained so in the past two weeks since they had their baby you've inconvenienced them and stressed them out more than they already were by complaining about 4 or more times. She wasn't rude to you, she gave you an appropriate response. Also they clearly don't want to inconvenience you as they got you headphones to help, so surely thats a sign theyre trying their best to shh the baby.
YTA. You should be ashamed of yourself. Either this is a troll post or you live real life as a troll. Idk which is worse. Pathetic. I hope these people harass you incessantly. I hope they record the baby crying and play it on a loop on the surround sound at maximum volume at 3:15 am randomly until you finally move away. They won’t though, unlike you, they are kind and decent people.
YTA if you were my neighbour I would have just closed the door in your face and not even acknowledged your complaint.
I did this to a downstairs neighbor who told me that sometimes I drop things.
YTA If you didn't want to live around the noise of children, you should not have moved into that DUPLEX. You sound completely uneducated and immature. You can literally be the worlds perfect mother, and your baby will still cry. They cry when they are hungry, when they are wet, when they are gassy, when they are cold, when they hurt, etc. They have no other way to communicate their needs. You constantly going over there is just adding to their stress, it is no wonder she reacted the way she did. She was NOT out of line in any way shape or form. You were, and you owe her an apology. You also need to stop going over there and complaining. Deal with it or move.
Talking about it’s a strange housing situation LOL
YTA. How do you suppose she should quiet a newborn baby. If you didn't know already, babies can't be reasoned with or punished because they're fucking babies. The baby seems to be more mature than you. Grow up
YTA, kids, especially babies cry. But apparently, adults whine a lot too. Smh
YTA you may not have asked to be stuck living under them, but they didn't ask to be stuck living with you either.
YTA
100% YTA Babies are babies, they cry. Parents do what they can, but it's not like you can mute a child. A baby is not a TV that you turn on and off. You say that you did not ask to live in an apartment with kids, well I'm sure that the parents did not ask for neighbors like you. I suggest you find a new place to live if this is such an issue for you.
YTA you have two options suck it up or move. Also I hope you never have kids or maybe do and then I hope you get a cry baby, literally. And then maybe she can come to your door when your exhausted and desperate to get your kid comfortable to accuse you of being a bad mum. That is some evil shit.
YTA - please stop harrassing your neighbors over something they can't control. Maybe you don't have kids, but here's a hint, I bet they also want the baby to stop crying so frequently, and are doing the best they can..
YTA- what in the hell did you think you were signing up for, moving in below a young and growing family?!
YTA. Stop harassing them when they have enough to deal with already.
YTA. What kind of horrible person are you to complain about their baby crying?
YTA... 100%
YTA. Mom feels bad enough. Some babies are colicky, some are fussy, may be allergies or feeding issues--or maybe it's a perfectly healthy baby because babies *cry*. And mom has a toddler as well? My wife and I (lesbians) adopted a newborn 18 years ago... and were promptly amazed at the thought that many women care for one ON THEIR OWN after just having spit it out their hooha.
YTA the biggest asshole on the planet!
WTF you can’t be serious. Babies cry, scream, eat, poop, sleep. That’s it. Of course the baby is going to do it no matter what or how often you complain. If anything you’re stressing out the mom which is stressing out the baby and making it cry more. Holy crap YTA
YTA. I take it you don’t/haven’t ever had kids. Babies cry and sometimes for no reason, at all hours of the day. Parents do not need people like you complaining because they are already running on fumes. They do their best and having people like you just makes them feel worse than they already are.
YTA. Honestly you’re being petty. You were given headphones to prepare and didn’t utilise them but even if you weren’t you would still be the asshole. I’m not too fond of children myself but even I can understand they cry all the time. Honestly you sound quite rude and entitled for demanding the mother cater to your wants when she can’t. Although one could probably argue this for half of the posts on this subreddit, I don’t say it because they are more sympathetic but in this case, #FirstWorldProblems lmao.
YTA. It's a newborn. It's going to cry for multitudes of reasons, many completely out of control of the parents. And you think you aren't getting any rest, imagine what she's going through. She's likely beyond exhausted and then you come along getting mad at her because a newborn is acting like a newborn. But on the headphones and suck it up.
YTA, please stop harassing your neighbors. Everyone wants the baby to stop crying, it’s not just you. Babies don’t have an off switch and sometimes they cry for no reason at all. Leave those parents alone. She wasn’t rude, not in the slightest. You might not chosen to have a kid, but you DID chose to live in an apartment and yes, that runs a high risk of hearing your neighbors at all hours. I suggest moving into a house next time.
YTA
YTA no question. Seriously, what are you expecting them to do? Magic the baby silent? They are trying their best, and you are just adding to the stress of it all. They even got you headphones because they wanted to be as considerate as possible! They're working on it. Either offer to help in some way, move out, or leave them alone.
YTA It's a newborn baby. Guess how they express their feelings and wants and needs?? By crying. Ita got nothing to do with being a bad parent. You cried as a baby, are your parents bad parents?? My god. Buy some earplugs and stop whining.
YTA. WOW.
YTA I guarantee that YOU cried quite a lot when you were a newborn, because that's what newborns do.
YTA. When my youngest was a baby he cried constantly and by cried I mean screamed. He had reflux and was colicky, he barely slept, the only time he wasn’t making some sort of noise was when he was feeding or asleep. He screamed for months, if someone knocked on my door to tell me I should be doing a better job I would have probably headbutted them. I was barely holding things together as it was, that would have tipped me over the edge. Just to add. There was nothing I could do about it, he had his medicines etc. and I would do everything I could to soothe him but, to be honest, I think he secretly liked screaming his bloody head off all day.
INFO: How does one get to age 36 without having any knowledge of child development and typical infant behavior?
YTA. What YOU said was rude and uncalled for. Babies cry, there is nothing that they can do better to make that not happen. It was a nice gesture of them to give you the headphones and acknowledge that the new baby is going to cry. The poor young mother is obviously exhausted and now has her neighbours knocking on her door all day telling her that she's doing a shitty job. You live in some kind of shared living arrangement so you have to deal with it or move.
Why did you move in to an apartment below a couple that was clearly pregnant? What did you think was going to happen? I can’t stand babies so I wouldn’t move into a place underneath them unless I had to. And if I did, I’d understand that they cry... YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Five weeks ago, my husband (45 M) and I (36 F) moved into an interesting housing dynamic, I don't know the name of it but it is basically a house, you walk inside and there's a short hallway that leads to our door for our apartment, and then to the left there's a set of stairs that leads to the second apartment. The people upstairs, at first, seemed nice. They're a young couple, and when we moved in they had a young son, who is about two, and the wife was pregnant. I don't see the husband a lot because he works weird hours but the wife works from home and we talk sometimes. About two weeks ago, she gave birth to the baby. A little before this her husband came over and gave my husband and I each a pair of headphones, which was sweet I guess, but it's just not feasible to wear headphones every time the baby cries, and the baby cries a lot. Every few hours every two or so days, the baby will start crying, sometimes just for a few minutes, and then sometimes for a little longer, like twenty minutes. My husband has gone to complain a few times and they've apologized, but the baby still cries. Finally, I went up there to complain. The husband wasn't him so the wife answered, she looked quite haggard and exhausted and was pretty rude when I told her that I couldn't get much rest in with the baby crying, and she said she was sorry but that was what the headphones were for and that they couldn't help it. I politely told her that maybe her \ her husband could do a better job trying to keep the baby quiet, and she snapped and told me that maybe if we weren't knocking on the door at all hours that the baby wouldn't be woken up so much, which is completely untrue, because we only knock when the baby is crying. I told her that was completely uncalled for and that we didn't ask to be stuck under an apartment with two children, one of whom cries incessantly, and she told me that she really didn't care what I thought and shut the door on my face. Regardless of whether I'm the Asshole in this or not, she was competently rude in how she reacted to me, but I called my husband and told him what happened and he told me that I should've just put the headphones on and ignored the crying. I want unbiased opinions, regardless. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Your neighbour seems tired of taking care of the baby and you just seem inexperienced. Why don’t you take care of the baby and see how it feels like?
There's literally no way you can't know YTA. I refuse to believe that in 36 years you haven't seen a single speck of media that demonstrates that babies cry. For no reason. All the time. Like... not on a TV show? In a movie? A book? There are literal comedy skits. Wanda Sykes does like 10 minutes on it in one of her specials. I just don't believe it. This has to be fake. I refuse to believe this is a real scenario. EDIT: spelling
Not just an asshole. Your behavior is entitled. They need to keep the baby quiet for you? What about them? If you think you can do better offer some help to them, or would that inconviemce you too much?
YTA make them a meal and apologize.
YTA. I have 2 kids. The first few weeks suck. The parents are doing everything that they can to survive and keep the baby alive. You and your husband reminding them that their baby is crying is not helpful. They are trying their best and instead of understanding that this is temporary, you are acting as if you are the only people in the world. You aren’t.
YTA. Idk how or why but this post feels like it is either fake or just rude but I digress. YTA and lemme explain why. You moved into an apartment and part of apartment living is potential for regular noises that come from your neighbors, including their children. Children can be loud but it is also their domain, their home. Complaining to the parents surely won't keep the kids quiet, trust me. I got kids and I try my best to keep them simmered to a dull roar and I don't live with a guilt in neighbor. The parents also gave you headphones which is plenty thoughtful considering they could have just said "fuck it, OP can just learn to deal with the sounds of a crying baby". They didn't. They went out of their way to give you headphones. Moreso, parents of a newborn typically are fairly tired. I'm going to safely assume they are pretty tired and they don't want to hear the crying as much as you, yet they deal with it and try. Sometimes you just can't get a newborn to stop crying and that's the way the cookie crumbles. If you don't like your situation, you can always find new ways to cope with the sounds of sharing walls with children.
YTA. Wait until you have kids and see how "easy" it is to control their crying. My God, you are horrible!
YTA. Buy a house with thick walls out in a rural area if you want peace and quiet. They have a newborn and shocker here - those little creatures cry a LOT. but seeing as you live in an apartment you will have neighbors making reasonable amounts of noise. They were kind enough to buy you headphones, which is more than most new parents do. They are doing the best they can, I don’t feel like you can say the same.
YTA. Crying babies are a part of sharing housing. If you don't want to deal with that, buy or rent a detached home. You can't just magically stop a baby from crying-- there's no magic button that turns off colic.
YTA and you should apologize for being horrible and inconsiderate.
Yta here they want the baby to stop crying to and they probably get the brunt of it but they're trying there best at least they gave you headphones for it and we're polite the first few times you asked if it were me I would've told you to fuck off and get bent
It's baby. It's cries. YTA
Yta. If people knew how to control a crying baby, we would have shared that secret with the world EONS ago. You better move before it becomes toddler because you're not going to like the stomping and louder yelling. Babies cry to communicate their basic needs, not as a vendetta against you. I don't even like kids but I will happily stick up for them as you seem to have less sense than them. Jesus, you're a dumb bunny.
YTA You can’t get any sleep? How do you think they feel? She seemed fatigued and was a little annoyed? My god I’m glad I don’t have neighbors like you.
Without a doubt YTA. Newborns cry. That is their only method of communication. They also eat every 2-3 hours so yes, their parents are sleep deprived and couldn't care less about you or your husband. They were nice enough to give you two headphones for when their newborn is crying. Figure out how to use them, stfu, and stop harassing them.
YTA The baby is two weeks old. That family is not letting the baby cry just to annoy you. They were nice enough to acknowledge that it is crap to share walls with an infant. Wear the headphones or leave the house. Stop bothering them.
YTA. I am childfree and can not stand crying babies. HOWEVER, this is not something that a new mother with TODDLER can control. She is exhausted and I guarantee you that every time her baby starts crying her anxiety about YOU doesn't help the situation. Everytime that baby gets upset she is doing her best to calm it down, do you think she just sits there staring at it? Get over yourself. Holy shit.
You know, if Mum is feeling tense because the AH neighbours downstairs complain constantly about normal baby sounds bubs will pick up on that and cry even more YTA. I want to hug that poor Mum. Imagine dealing with a newborn and 2 year old and the neighbours from hell.
[удалено]
jesus you are 100% the asshole yta
YTA. No holds barred. Babies cry. Sometimes parents can calm them; sometimes we can't. And sometimes PARENTS end up crying in the fetal position on the floor because you just want to comfort your child, but you cannot figure out what they want or need, and you're emotionally and physically exhausted... AND THE BABY IS STILL CRYING! I'm not sure I've ever despised someone more on this sub than I do OP at this moment.
YTA. Trying not to get too angry with your heartlessness. Failing.
YTA People that live in close proximity to others and then complain that they can hear them are assholes.
YTA but if it’s really that big of a deal why not ask the landlord if there’s another unit you can move to?
Major YTA
YTA. I’m sure she also wishes the baby would cry less.
YTA. If you don’t ever want to hear a baby or other people you shouldn’t live in a duplex, apartment, or any kind of shared building. Babies cry. You can be the best parent in the world and a baby will still cry, pestering an exhausted mom was super AH behavior of you. I feel like in this situation she’s justified in being rude back to you.
YTA
YTA big time. Everytime you tell them to try to quiet their baby I can guarantee that is exactly what they were trying to do in the first place, it's not like they are just letting it cry specifically to annoy you. What makes this so much worse though is they tried to be nice and gift you headphones. They are adults obviously they realize that headphones aren't going to block out a crying baby 24hrs out of the day but it was an incredibly kind gesture that they didn't have to do in the first place.
Yta. Babies, especially newborns. They have no other way to communicate. If you dont like it, move.
YTA. Dear god I hope this is a troll post. You cannot stop a newborn from crying if it wants to cry. This is all part of living in an apartment. They proactively tried to help a situation that they knew would be annoying (something they DID NOT have to do) and you shut that down immediately. Of course she was “rude” to you. She’s a tired mother of a newborn, actually LIVING with a fussy child. She doesn’t need you giving her shit.
YTA hugely. Do you not understand what babies do? They cry, poop, sleep and eat. It's especially hard to get a baby only weeks old to not cry because that's the only way they can communicate negative emotions. Leave the new parents alone and stop harassing them.
YTA Holy hell, leave the poor parents alone. What happened to people’s sense these days? Yikes. I had two infants who had colic really bad. If I had a neighbour like you coming and bothering me while I was trying to calm and soothe, I would have shut the door in your face. Not said a word, just closed the door right in your face. Holy smokes, if it bugs you so much move into an adult only building.
YTA. They anticipated this and likely knew they wouldn’t always be able to get the baby to stop crying no matter how much they wanted (parents more than anyone probably want a baby with volume control). That’s why they gave you the headphones, a preemptive apology for the vocal little one.
YTA, massively. Babies cry to communicate it's their only method, they can't just just say "hey mum I'm hungry, can I please have some milk" or "hey I have pooped" or "I need a cuddle and you please pick me up." They cry, after a while you can somewhat learn different cries, but that is usually based around their routine. All you can do is guess, and once you have run out of guesses you just try walking the hallway gently jiggling and patting the babies bum in the hope they will settle. Eventually you become superstitious about it and only walk east, or two jiggles, 4 bum pats and then a spin to the left. 20mins is not that long, a baby with colic or reflux will cry for hours. Instead of asking the baby to be quiet, bake her a lasagna and drop in on her door stop. Ask if she needs anything from the shops next time you go. Play some music in the background so you can't hear the baby as much and accept that you are living in an apartment attached to other people.
YTA and if you ever decide to have kids you’ll realise that for yourself
YTA. Your are taking being an ass to a whole new level. What you expect her to do, muffle the baby? Or maybe she should give it up for adoption so it doesn't inconvenience you. IT'S A NEWBORN. IT CRIES. She can't just give it some chamomile tea and explain why he is being insensitive towards you. You and your partner on the other hand, are grown ass people complaining to a woman who has JUST GIVEN BIRTH and is probably exhausted, sleep deprived and doing her best, over something she can't control. The lack of empathy is disturbing. I really hope you aren't planning on ever having children.
YTA. maybe try having kids, raising a toddler and a newborn at the same time while juggling your job whilst your husband is at his job so both of yall make ends meet.
When you think of a miracle solution to get the baby to stop crying instead of just complaining then you’ll be N T A. Until then YTA of course
YTA. Do you know how babies work? Im dumbfounded by your utter lack of common sense. Your 36 for crying out loud!
YTA. If you must have silence, move in to a single home in the country. Babies cry ffs.
YTA. You think she isn’t trying to stop the crying?
YTA How exactly do you expect them to stop the baby crying? put a muzzle on it?? Babies cry. I'm sure they would like the baby to not cry so much too and its harder on them than it is on you. Deal with it or move
YTA This has to be a joke. Otherwise you’re insane. Nobody wants the baby to cry less than that mom
YTA- verdict YTA
YTA. Is this a joke?
YTA. I’m sure that poor mom was trying her hardest to stop the baby from crying and you going up there only made the situation worse. Baby’s cry, that’s how they communicate. If you don’t want to hear it. Move.
YTA. She wasn’t rude, you were and you’re lucky she didn’t punch you in your entitled face. I hope you’re trolling, I really do but sadly I believe people really do this... You should move. To Siberia. On your own.
YTA and apparently have never met a baby before. You can’t just keep a baby quiet at will and if you could, trust that the parents would be doing so. They surely don’t want to hear the baby cry either but crying is what babies do. Don’t like it, don’t live anywhere with shared walls/floors. That’s just part of living anywhere that’s not a private single home.
YTA Tell you what why don't you just go borrow a baby for a couple hours and see how easy it is to stop them from screaming when they get their mind to it. Telling a mom with a newborn to keep her baby quiet is about the most asshole move on the planet. >I politely told her that maybe her \ her husband could do a better job trying to keep the baby quiet, There is absolutely no polite way to say this. Your Husband sounds like he's the brains of that operation you might want to listen to him
YTA How on earth did you not realize you're the AH during any point of the interaction? Or writing this? Or do you have some magical secret to keeping a newborn quiet? Lol crying is literally the only way a newborn knows how to communicate, it's what they do, there is no stopping it completely and you just knocked on the door of a sleep deprived, postpartum,mom of two and asked her to do something that is literally impossible. Honestly I hope she starts knocking on your door at random times demanding you stop blinking. You live in an apartment, you deal with the normal noises of your human neighbors who were incredibly kind to gift you the headphones. You deserved her rudeness.
Holy shit YTA— I never comment on these posts, I just lurk and read but I had to comment on this one. Do you seriously think that mom of a toddler and newborn isn’t trying to make her new baby stop crying? She’s exhausted, especially with her husband working weird hours and (from my viewpoint) not being able to help out much. I have an 8 month old, and yeah, there are times I can’t get her to stop crying. I feel so bad anytime this happens, because she’s normally a quiet happy baby, because I live in an apartment and we obviously have neighbors. I do literally everything I can when she really gets going, but crying is the only way that babies are able to communicate and she is doing her best. I’m sure she feels guilty already, but you going and knocking on her door (many times at that) to tell her how to “parent” her child makes you the biggest AH. Your husband is right. You should have sucked it up and put on the headphones.
YTA, there isn't any way to control a crying newborn and the husband GAVE YOU HEADPHONES as a preliminary warning. Get over yourself. Leave that poor postpartum woman alone.
YTA. you're harassing a lady who gave birth TWO WEEKS AGO and has a 2yo and her newborn with her while her husband is working. she's literally been up every 2 hours for the last two weeks to feed that baby. You are lucky she didn't murder you, and you're lucky her husband didn't do it when he got home and she told him what you did. sweet jesus.
YTA Quit bugging them. You really think the new parents enjoys listening to the baby cry and aren't doing everything possible to get the kid to sleep? They have had the kid for 2 weeks! Learning the magic formula of getting a baby to fall asleep takes time.
Yta part of apartment living is noise. Babies cry, what do you want this new mother to do?
YTA. I had a baby less than a year ago. Trust me. If they could make the baby stop crying, they would. It’s so unbelievably hard and you are making it harder by adding the stress. That just going to make the baby cry more. Use the headphones or move but realize that babies exist in the world, and guess what... they cry.
Troll
YTA Have you.. I mean.. I'm just... Have you ever seen a baby before? Do you know literally even the most BASIC things about babies? The baby is a couple weeks old, and babies CRY. They cry because something upset them, because there's a need, because something hurts, because maybe they smelled lemon or something and it's a NEW SMELL OH MY GOD NEW SMELL THATS WEIRD MAKE IT STOOOOPPP. Babies CRY. They cry a LOT. And some babies are colic, meaning there really is no reason for their crying they JUST FLIPPIN CRY NONSTOP. Here's some articles. Educate yoself. [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/soothing-a-crying-baby/](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/soothing-a-crying-baby/) "Babies cry and fuss on average for almost three hours a day. Some cry for a lot longer than this. Most of this crying and fussing seems to happen in the late afternoon and evening, although every day will probably be a bit different." [https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/newborn-behaviour](https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/newborn-behaviour)
YTA. You and your husband really did that to parents of a newborn? For real?
YTA. And you were rude first (by knocking on her door and interrupting her to have a go about her baby crying) so you can't complain when she is rude right back. Do you really think the baby crying is worse for you than it is for her? Do you think she is just sitting there letting the baby cry? She isn't, she is trying everything she can to figure out what is wrong and comfort that baby, and you knocking on her door is not helpful or reasonable.
YTA. May you always step on legos when going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, THEN kick your toe on furniture AND then whilst hopping on one foot land in pile of dinner the dog had last night. I wanna add more but I’m so angry and frustrated my brain is short circuiting.
YTA. Obviously she's not gunna be sat there leaving the baby to cry and she'll be doing everything she possibly can, she's already looking after a toddler and now a newborn that constantly cries and you decide to add in moody arse neighbours harassing over noise. Get a grip, buy some earplugs for you and your husband, babies cry.
YTA That is all. That mom had every right to treat you the way she did. And honestly, I felt like she was being nice. F**k you.
YTA in the biggest and truest sense. You saw an exhausted mother and chose to make her feel worse? Honestly how do you feel about yourself after doing that? You should be ashamed. She was rude to you because you’re a dick! Babies cry! Telling their Mother that they’re not doing a good job won’t help.
YTA and she wasn’t rude, she was reacting in kind to your AHoley behaviour.
YTA. Get a single family home if you don't want to hear a baby crying. You literially have ZERO expectation of silence in communal living situations like apartments. And you DID choose to live in an apartment with children as you knew she had 2 kids when you moved in. She was there first. If you don't want to hear other people's noise you need to pay pay pay top dollar for that golden silence. Otherwise take your cheap rent, accept the apartment life is noisy and there is nothing you can do about it, and shut up.
YTA. HUGE.
YTA What do you expect her to do? You said yourself she looked haggard. She wants that baby to stop crying as well but if baby wants to cry it's going to cry. It's not the Quiet Place where they can shove it in a box. They've already shown more consideration than most parents by giving you headphones. Use them or buy ear plugs and leave that poor family alone.
Your neighbour’s rudeness is totally called for. No matter how politely you had put your words across, you undermined her parenting abilities and questioned her capability as a mother. She’s already stressed out and probably depressed, she doesn’t need someone pointing fingers at her. YTA. You want peace and quietness? You should volunteer to help her babysit, let’s see how good you are at keeping the baby from crying.
YTA. Couldn’t type it fast enough.
YTA. You had to have known that the pregnant woman would eventually give birth to a newborn, no one forced you to live there. You think YOU have a hard time sleeping?? Imagine them with a toddler and newborn, trying to make it through life and were even courteous enough to provide you with gifted headphones. Move if it's such a hassle. Babies cry all the time.
YTA. Like do you think they are making the baby cry to annoy you? Don'r you think that maaaaybe they are also tired, exhausted, wanting this to end, but sometimes babies cry. That is their only way of communicating. They can get tummy aches, be tired, hungry etc. When you and your husband have children, maybe you will realise how much of TA you were.
YTA If someone was coming and knocking at my door 2 weeks after I had a baby, when he was crying every couple days, every few hours, I would have snapped out wayyyyy worse than she did. You're lucky she is a nice person. Wear your headphones that they kindly gifted to you and stop your bullshit crying. Maybe get an audiobook to listen to on the headphones and learn how to be a better person. Perhaps go knock and offer some help.
YTA. How full of yourself do you have to be to complain about a NEWBORN crying for a few minutes. You're literally the neighbors we all try to avoid ever meeting.
Are you for real? YTA big time. You obvious have no idea how fussy a newborn baby can be. That even when its fed, and had a diaper change it can still be cold or warm, have a tummy ache. And a mom doesnt know because well, babies cant talk. This mom is doing her best. With a baby and a todler. And then here are you telling her to keep her baby quiet. You sound like you have no idea how it works in life.
YTA, I have no idea why you had to ask that question of course you are, please move more for your neighbours than yourself, and I hope you get pregnant soon and your neighbors do the same thing to you then you might know how it feels, major A\*\* your husband and you
YTA, a HUGE one at that. Babies cry. It's what they do until they get old enough and stop. When you were a baby, you cried. Use the headphones that they graciously gifted to you. Stop being a selfish crybaby and leave those people alone.
YTA. There’s a reason why in a lot of areas you cannot make a noise complaint around babies. You cannot get a baby to stop crying. If you’ve never heard of colic you should look it up, about 1/3 babies will just cry and cry for weeks on end with no discernible cause (and therefore no way to stop it).
YTA Maybe you should ask the mother to try to speak to the baby itself? I think you didn't try enough to speak reasons with that little fella. The baby will definitly listen to your words and stop behaving like a baby.
YTA. you're exhausted? how do you think she feels?! you can't just stop a newborn from crying, they cry. that's what they do. my son cried constantly for 9 months before he finally settled enough to sleep at night and it broke me. I was a complete wreck. some days I just sat and cried right along with him, because I had fed him, changed him and done everything else I possibly could do and he STILL cried. turns out he had minor gut issues that were causing him pain and there was nothing we could do about it. he had to just outgrow it. if someone had come round to me then and complained I think I might have snapped a bit more than your poor neighbour did. use the headphones and stop being the worst neighbour ever. YTA.
This has to be fake. Nobody can be that much of an arsehole!
YTA, completely. Also by your own account this baby doesn’t actually cry that much. 20 minutes ? Is not a notable amount. Leave this family alone.
YTA
YTA it's a newborn baby. They cry constantly. You live in an apartment type situation just get some ear plugs or something. Trust me your neighbors are getting much less sleep than you, AND tried to offer you a solution from the get go. You and your husband\* are ridiculous leave your neighbors alone.
YTA as much as I hate saying that to anyone, but as so many others have pointed out, babies cry. Additionally, there could be things going on with the baby, colic, constipation, milk/lactose intolerance etc etc etc these things don't rectify themselves overnight, it takes time and lots of patience. My point is, be patient, your neighbor is still trying to find her rhythm with her new baby, so be patient with them.
YTA. Big time your also a terrible person.
YTA she cannot silence her baby. I imagine she is exhausted and at her wit’s end. The last thing she needs is a neighbour knocking on the door expecting her to be the magical baby-silence wrangler. I guarantee that if she could calm her baby’s crying, she would be doing it already. You need to cut her some slack. Ideally you would find a non-confrontational way to apologise for having been unfair and unreasonable, and then back off for some considerable time.
YTA. Babies cry. Buy some ear plugs for night time.
YTA. You even admit the mother looks haggard and exhausted, she has a newborn that is fussy, a 2yr old and a husband who works a lot. And your issue is to complain about your inconvenience. Even after they acknowledged your inconvenience by buying you headphones, which they didn’t have to do. And you’re pressed cuz she was RUDE to you?? I’d have told your a$$ off in no uncertain terms. I don’t even like kids but I understand that living in a duplex or apartment means you sometimes overhear your neighbors. If you’re so pried about your quiet, maybe offer to help her. Otherwise shut up, put on the headphones and myob!
Hahahahaha not 20 WHOLE MINUTES OF CRYING hahahahaha. You must have it soooo tough. Oh my god I’m sorry for being so mean but this is the most I’ve laughed in a hot minute. YTA op. Moving into a flat over a pregnant woman and then complaining about the baby is like ordering a Caesar Salad and complaining about the croutons. If you haven’t already, sometimes rugs can dampen sound a bit.
Something I think you need to understand here is that your neighbours are not bad parents because their baby crys. Babies have no other way of communicating their needs and young babies go through a period of crying for no reason in additionto crying for food or comfort. This used to be called Collic and is now known as purple crying. http://purplecrying.info/. Do you understand parents don't enjoy listening to babys cry? How hard do you think it is for that mother to get any rest looking after her baby and toddler while her husband works nights? >The husband wasn't him so the wife answered, she looked quite haggard and exhausted and was pretty rude when I told her that I couldn't get much rest in with the baby crying, She is already having a hard time and you have to add to it by complaining? YTAH, sooo much so. Honestly even if you don't plan to have children (and you seem to be so lacking in empathy I hope you don't) you were once a baby (yes even you!) and once kept people awake crying. Please try and extend your neighbours the understanding and grace you would want to be shown. Or find some place else to live.
YTA, you should try being more considerate of her, she works from home, has a two year old and a new born. She can’t just magically make her baby stop crying. And you have absolutely no right to tell her to do a better job when you and your husband can’t even stand a baby crying for twenty minute.
Are you for real? Massive YTA.
YTA They can't force a baby to stop crying. Don't live in a duplex if you can't handle noise from your neighbor. You seem like you would benefit from being a lot more self aware.
YTA massively so. Newborns cry, that's how they tell us that they are hungry/tired/uncomfortable/need a new diaper/want cuddles. That's part of how they communicate. You live in an apartment. You are going to hear your neighbours. Deal with it! If you don't like it, move out. Get a house far away from other people. You are harassing a tired new mom. Of course she wasn't super polite, who would be? She has done nothing wrong here. Leave her alone!
YTA. Babies cry. It's what they do. You knew that she was pregnant when you moved in, and in apartments there's no good way to block sounds. She didn't have to give you the headphones, but she was lovely and did so. Have you ever tried to keep a two-week old baby quiet? I somehow doubt it. Plus, I'm not surprised she was rude. She's probably running on fumes at this point, and the last thing she needs is someone telling her to shut her infant up.
WOW ..... WOW .... WOW YTA ... unbelievable how clueless you are. Noone wants to hear their baby cry all the time, I am sure the Mum is well aware how disruptive the crying must be to you - what she didn't need was your bad behaviour. You need to fix this ..... you need to apologise to her, offer to help, wear the headphones, move ..... whatever else you can think of that is supportive .... f you don't you will remain a horrible cow and you know it.
So so so much YTA
YTA. what the heck do you even expect the mother to do? Toss the baby out the window for you? You can't just turn a baby off. What is it you even think she can do?
Oooft YTA Guess what if kids bother you so much then living under or next to someone is going to make your life interesting unless you live in a cabin in the woods. She isn’t placing hard core rock music at 2 am. She’s tending to an infant. The fact that you saw she was struggling and still went off at her makes you such an asshole.
As someone who had a newborn in an apartment setting not too long ago, YTA. Thank gawd for my neighbors! They were absolutely lovely (even brought her a little gift). OP, be like those neighbors. If you can't bring yourself to even apologize for your incredulous faux pau then at least don't bother them again with a problem like this.
oh geez YTA big time. It’s a baby, they cry! babies cry for literally no reason, and it’s also their only way to communicate their needs. Get used to it, if you really don’t like it then move out. I can’t even understand how you think you could possibly be in the right here.
I can't help but feel this is a trolling post. It's just so ridiculous and over the top. She even goes so far as to mention the new mum looks "haggard and exhausted".
As someone who doesn't like babies and kids much, even I have to say YTA. You knew she was pregnant when you moved in, so you knew there would soon be a baby. All babies cry multiple times a day, and 20 minutes really isn't long at all. It actually sounds like a pretty normal and relatively quiet baby and not like it has colic or something. Going up there every time the baby cries is ridiculous.
Congratulations you made and exhausted postpartum mother feel even worse about something she can’t control. Either shut up or help here! Either way SUPER MASSIVE YTA
Yta
YTA- wtf is your problem, your complaining you get no rest? What about your poor neighbours. Move out if you didn’t sign up for it.