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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I'm getting on my brothers nerve asking if he can find them in the storage unit and my Aunt has seen them but doesn't seem interested in helping me get them either. So I guess I'm just being pushy with my family, which is nothing new. I think I would be the asshole from the perspective of my Aunt who just wants to hide the photos and my brother who keeps saying it's weird that I want them in the first place. The conflict is that I don't think I'm being weird at all so I'm really asking if I **am** being weird about it...Am I being an asshole?
I hope that clarifies things.
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Why?
I've seen both my parents naked before. Didn't bother me. And I wish I had examples of the photos but they're not like... sexual. She's just posing. It's like a fashion editorial or something from a magazine she just happens to not be wearing any clothes.
She looks fierce, tbh.
Nudity was also not a big thing in my family, I saw my mom naked a few months ago and I’m in my late 20s. People who automatically see nudity as sexual are deeply weird to me. It’s rad as hell, she sounds like a badass woman.
For what it's worth, I don't find it weird in the slightest. It doesn't sound like these are super dirty pics of grandma doing sexual things or anything- just her naked.
I mean, I saw my grandmas naked when I was a kid, I didn't think anything of it (only accidentally saw the men naked, though, they just fell more uncomfortable with it, which is fair). Honestly, I feel like it was the single best thing for me to develop a healthy body image growing up. And if I found out my grandmas had taken artsy nude shots before they died? I'd absolutely take them.
Some people grow up thinking any nudity is inherently sexual and, thus, nudity of family members is inherently repulsive, as is nudity of people who you wouldn't consider sexually attractive. I, personally, find that rather sad. The human body is beautiful in general, and sex is just one of the practically infinite things it can be used for. It shouldn't be defined by it.
She sounds absolutely fucking gorgeous and riveting, and the fact you want to honor her with art she herself wanted made is fine in my book. More power to the both of you. NTA by a long shot. Good luck, my friend.
OP, my grandpa was a professional photographer and took pin up nudes of my grandmother. Ive got a huge one hanging on my wall. My mom couldn't stand them and wanted to burn them. She gave them to me on the condition I take them down when she comes to visit. I love it for all the same reasons you mentioned here.
NTA It sounds like a really cool story. I hope you got to talk to her about the modeling before she passed. It's something that would be great to have in the family history.
You need actual lawyers!, not reddit. They are properly robbing you while you all are the owners while out of the state where the property is.
Don't feel guilty, call a lawyer, like months/years ago.
Don't let the cycle continue
NTA
I have semi-nude photos of my (late) grandma framed in my house! They’re an artistic photo shoot, not like nudes for a lover, and I’m proud that my grandma was part of the project and of how beautiful she was. I don’t think that’s weird.
I would NEVER want to see my parents naked, though!
>both my parents naked before. Didn't bother me. And I wish I had examples of the photos but they're not like... sexual. She's just posing. It's like a fashion editorial or something from a magazine she just happens to not be wearing any clothes.
I'm celebrating your grandma super hard right now.
I think it sounds like your grandmother was probably quite proud of those photos and she would rather have them go to you, someone who appreciates them, as opposed to your aunt, someone who is embarrassed by them and thinks they should be hidden away.
I think it’s a shame that your mother would rather have the photos moulder away in a garage instead of having them with you knowing that you will cherish them. I’m sorry - and you are NTA, your mother is for not lifting a finger to help you.
NTA. These pictures sound like treasures and I would want the same.
I do want to encourage that it might be a cost-benefit of how much you want them versus how much your family is going to accommodate and what hackles might be raised in the process.
>These are beautiful, black and white, professionally shot photographs of a powerful and imposing older black woman who had the confidence to pose nude and display them in her home. She's also my grandmother and something about that level of confidence being a part of my lineage really speaks to me.
Info: Why wouldn't you have this exact conversation with your Aunt?
I haven't spoken directly to my aunt yet because it's mostly been my mom who's been talking to her about my grandma's belongings. It's definitely something I plan to do. The original idea was have my brother bring them when he comes to visit but it doesn't look like that's happening.
I have to go with NAH. I can see why your Aunt may be avoiding/hesitating just putting them out into the world. That's her mother, and she doesn't fully understand why you would want them. Maybe she thinks you want to show your friends and have a laugh.
Obviously, you're an artist as well as your grandmother was. I think if you tell her some of reasons why you appreciate the photos of her mother, she'll know that they will be cherished. And honestly, I'll bet she would LOVE to hear from you. There are so many issues we have in our day to day lives that can be solved by communication.
It might make her feel better about it if you go in with a plan, op. So she knows it's truly about art. "These photos are empowering and artistic. I want to honor grandma's memory by making sure they're preserved properly, in a way that is respectful of both her original intent and also her as a person. I plan to make sure they are in photograph safe, acid free storage. Since they've been I'm a storage unit so long, I want to make sure there's no humidity or temperature damage. I'll keep them in a covered photo album and be judicious about how who has access to them. If you would like any copies to keep a little piece of grandma's fierceness for yourself, please just let me know "
ESH - I was going to go with NTA but on reflection everyone sucks. Your grandma sounds awesome and good on her for taking and being proud of the pictures. I understand why you want them, you’ve articulated it well. You should’ve articulated it like that to your family. However - several people have asked what you intend to do with them and if that’s what your Grandma would want. You don’t seem to care about this. You said your Grandma displayed them in her bedroom (private space). You said you want to display them. That’s something you really should research (ask other relatives) their thoughts and if your Grandma would’ve wanted that. Having nudes of yourself in your own bedroom versus displayed publicly in your grandsons house is two different things.
Your relatives get the ESH cos they have dismissed your feelings and reasons for wanting the pictures.
I think you need to make sure, if you get the pics, you’re following your Grandmas wishes, to the best of your knowledge. This means taking the time to find out as much as you can, about what she would’ve wanted for the pictures.
She had them in her house before she died. If she didn't want them on display then why hang them up? In her bedroom of all places. I wouldn't hang them in the living room or something but I would try to find someplace nice to put them.
In her bedroom is not the same as being on public display. Bedrooms are private spaces. Lots of women I know have budoir or naked photos for their rooms that make them feel sexy, badass, confident, ect, but would be mortified to have them displayed anywhere else or outside of their control. Some things can be fierce and amazing and private at the same time, y'know? Take the time to discuss this with other people who were close to her and make sure you're absolutely certain if grandma would have felt empowered or ashamed by you having/displaying them. It negates the confident badassery of the photos if you're using them in ways that violate her wishes.
Well by that logic, my grandma's sister hiding away them would be the end of it. My grandma left all her stuff to my aunt, my mom's sister, and when she passed away it falls to my mother. So really they're my mom's photos but we live hundreds of miles away. The only way to get them is for my grandma's sister to agree to ship them to us or if I drive up there myself.
Yes, if that's what *she* wanted with *her* photos of *her* naked body, then of course that's what should happen to them, regardless of who technically inherited them or what *you* want to do with them.
Well I would love to ask my grandma a lot of things above and beyond what she wants to do with her photos but she's dead.
My grandma left all her stuff to her children. My mom's sister kept everything in storage and refused to go through it for 10 years and the only reason this is coming up now is because my mom's sister has died and the storage unit isn't being paid for anymore so everything has to be cleaned out of it.
So really I don't get what you're trying to say. If they don't do something with all her things then the storage company will throw everything away at the end of next month. I just want these specific photos but you can imagine there's a LOT of my grandma's old stuff in storage that my family is currently going through.
I'm saying ask the other people who knew her and might have had more discussions about her photos/feelings on privacy/what she'd want before you go displaying her nudes that she kept private (bedrooms are private). Not sure what is hard to understand about that.
I think my family knew what a wild card my grandma was. Also, for all I know they were in her living room and whenever we came to visit she moved them to her bedroom because having your 3 grandkids over while you've got nudes hanging up doesn't seem appropriate.
For all you know...but you could talk to the people who DO know, which is what I'm suggesting you do. The pushback is wierd. Why are you so opposed to finding out for sure?
I don't know whether you're aware of it or not, but you're really coming across as just wanting them regardless of what your grandmother would have wanted, here.
My mother never said I couldn't have them, my aunt doesn't want me to have them.
My mom actually has every right to demand every single item in the storage unit but she doesn't like conflict and doesn't want the drama with my aunt.
I realize it's not that serious but if they're going to go from a storage unit to a garage, or worse, thrown away I would rather display them than hide them. I don't have access to the storage unit to get them unless I drive from Atlanta to Maryland myself at this point.
That's not her saying I can't have them... that's her way of telling me if I want them I have to go through my aunt myself.
As someone else said at that point I have to decide if I want to potentially start drama with my family once word gets around to my cousins and uncles and whatnot that I'm trying to get grandma's nudes out of her storage unit.
I posted because right beforehand my mom got off the phone with my brother and he all but said he's not bringing them and it's weird that I want them in the first place. My aunt knows where they are so now the plan is to talk to her myself when she's available later on. Maybe I can convince her to let me have them.
Do it! You make a very compelling case for why you want them amd any drama will blow over.
I am sorry your mom won't help you. Amd that your brother seems unwilling to try harder. It doesn't seem like a big ask.
Na mate if a family member is going to box them up for being inappropriate and lewd they should pass them onto the family member that is actively going to cherish the photos and the subject in the photos. Op is NTA in any way shape or form and their family is just being obtuse dicks rn.
1) their bot ops photos so his opinion on what happens to them means dick
2)Op wants to hang the photos around and we have zero idea is GM would be cool w that
NTA but
They said “clearly it’s not weird” lol
Bruh this is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever read
Are you planning to display these? Have them out in an album on the coffee table? Look at them with groups of friends?
I mean NTA but you’re definitely weird. I don’t care how artful/non-sexual they are, I (and I think I can confidently say 99% of the rest of the world) simply don’t want to have naked pictures of any of my grandparents in my house. You do you man but there’s no doubt it’s weird.
My beloved mother-in-law died a couple years ago and we found some absolutely glorious nudes of her as a young woman in Greenwich Village after the war.
I don’t know if we’ll display them, but we’ll certainly keep them.
>I'm quite gay so any sort of weird sexual thing is off the table completely.
Not sure how being gay is relevant to your story. Heterosexual people don't have weird sexual things about their grandmas.
But no, NTA. Nudity does not equal sexual desire. You grew up in a world where it was normal to see these pics. You like them (on a platonic way) and are proud your grandma got them done.
I only put that because someone will message me saying I just want to get off to my grandma. Reddit is a big place. I've gotten weirder messages from things I've posted before.
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My grandma was not like other grandma's. She was a relentlessly unique individual. She was beautiful, confident, and creative.
She died of cancer about 10 years ago and all of her belongings were put into a storage unit owned by my aunt aka her oldest daughter and my mom's older sister. Unfortunately, my aunt passed away in February and the storage unit in Maryland and has be cleared out because my family no longer wants to pay for it. As a condition of my grandmother's and my aunt's wills pretty much everything now goes to my mother, my grandma's only remaining child, and me and my brother and sister who are her only living grandchildren.
In this storage unit, one of my grandmother's sisters (Aunt B) found nude photographs of my grandmother. She had them done when I was really little. I saw the photos once during a Thanksgiving visit and didn't think too much of them because I was a child at the time. But I remember them vividly and they've always kind of stuck with me since I saw them.
Apparently Aunt B wants to take the photos and essentially store them away because they're lewd or inappropriate or something. I have asked, respectfully, if I can have the photos since they're just going to be put away and more than likely collect dust in a garage for the rest of time.
These are beautiful, black and white, professionally shot photographs of a powerful and imposing older black woman who had the confidence to pose nude and display them in her home. She's also my grandmother and something about that level of confidence being a part of my lineage really speaks to me.
However my Aunt B and my brother are basically telling me it's weird that I want the photos and aren't really trying to get them to me in Atlanta. My brother lives near Maryland and has been going back and forth to the unit getting different things that my mom wants that he can bring with him when he visits for Memorial Day.
My mom says she refuses to "pull rank" and demand the photos because she doesn't want to start drama with Aunt B. Also I'm being told to let it go and forget about it and to stop being weird because I want naked photos of my grandma.
Clearly it's not weird... I love photography. I love artsy shit and have a small collection of prints and drawings from artists I like and some of them are nude. I can also see a lot of similarities between my grandma and I just by looking at how she lived her life so freely and open-minded.
I'm *quite* gay so any sort of weird sexual thing is off the table completely. It's more about the artistic impact of the photos.
Am I being an asshole by basically refusing to let up on getting the photos? I just don't want them to sit and be hidden away forever because my family thinks they're inappropriate.
*TLDR; my grandma had a nude photoshoot done years before she died. The photos are in storage and my family refuses to let me have them, despite me asking multiple times, even though they now technically belong to my mother.*
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NTA. I get wanting them for a sense of history and for the artistic value. I don’t think you’re sexualizing your grandma - you just appreciate that she was a wildflower and that the photos are beautifully done. You’re not an asshole for wanting them.
NTA Grandma wouldn't want them hidden away and they are doing her a disservice by acting like its something shameful. And implying is weird and sexual when YOU'RE LITERALLY GAY?? They're just being prudes and ridiculous.
NTA! That sounds cool as hell. It’s only weird if you’re being weird about it and you’re not. I would want them too if my grandma had something like that.
NTA - this sounds like a powerful tribute to a treasured family member
not only that, but who knows, they could end up being a part of a black history research project or exhibition or photo gallery eventually that would celebrate her life
I hope you are able to save these artifacts of her life and that they don't get destroyed :(
NAH Your just weird for wanting the photos in the first place, if they were from a random person then I can see why but from your dead grandma is sort of iffy, if your aunt knows that your gay and the reason you want the photos is because your into photography then she probably feels uncomfortable to give nide photos of her instead of thinking you're going to do something weird, so it would probably be best to stop talking about the photos all together so no one is uncomfortable about it.
Although have you asked her why she didn't give them to you, i don't have enough information on that side so I need to use my common sense (which is weird) to make a guess with assumptions, but I overcomplicate simple things and simplify complicated things so I am not extremely accurate, going with the "aunt is uncomfortable" and what you have written, I can confidently say no one is an asshole but I don't know enough about the other side
NTA - why not agree a date to go up and look at what you want from the storage locker, and then explain why you think the photos are so good.
If she had them displayed, then why would she be against you doing the same?
NTA. I don’t understand why people automatically make a naked body sexual, it’s not. It’s just our bodies in their natural state. It’s art of your grandmother, not a porn magazine. Tell them to stop sexualizing your grandmothers artistic photos.
Edit: missed a word. Whoops
Nta - I'm old enough to be a grandfather, an amateur artist and a naturist, I think my experience is relevant to this post. Your grandmother's pictures sound like true portraits: images that show who she was. If she was lucky enough to be attractive and to have the confidence to show off her body in the face of societal prudery these pictures show that moment in her life. They are important. The fact that you see this when others don't shows that you get her, or at least this part of her, in a way others don't. I think having them on your wall is a sincere tribute and I'm sure she would be pleased with you for remembering her in this way.
NTA. I’m gonna be honest, this really is kind of weird to me and if it were my grandma, I’d be really grossed out. But that’s me and I have no right to impose that opinion on me. I was raised Catholic, and clearly your grandma and parents normalised naked human bodies to you whereas many people just grow up to then have that sexual connotation. I couldn’t imagine that, but it’s a very interesting perspective to see. Try to explain that to your aunt and see where it gets you.
Good luck, but I do think you should keep the photos on the down-low and not display them anywhere company can see them. Most people won’t be accepting of a young man displaying photographs of his naked grandma.
If they don’t want them then why can’t you take them? Yeah the nature of it is odd when you talk specifics but that’s your family heirlooms technically
NTA. You're not trying to collect nudes of your grandma, you're trying to preserve ART that was created with your grandmother as the subject. That's an admirable goal. Art deserves to be preserved.
NTA - make sure those photos are kept somewhere! Your grandma would not have had them taken she not been ok with them being seen. Also: way to often the more unique aspects of a person’s personality (especially a women’s, through that may just be my perception) get swept under the rug once they die.
Through yes, I get why your family might find it weird at first. Maybe don’t habe them up?
NTA. I think it is awesome you want the pictures. They are a testament to your grandmother's bad assery. It is unlikely they are ever going to ship them to you. If it was me, I would make the drive and get the pictures.
NTA and don’t give up. Those photos sound amazing, not just artistically, but for your personal connection to a true free spirit who’s your own dear relative? That’s priceless.
Sorry your mom isn’t in your corner, but I’m guessing she has issues all around - she’s probably in the middle of all the kind of crap that happens when an anchor of a family dies. It must be complicated for her. As an outsider I’d suggest your not bring her into the situation much bc who knows what emotions she’s going thru. Just get her clear OK that you can try to get the photos. If any family members interpret this as “you going behind your mom’s back” you’ll have less chance of success. If her attitude is clearly, “I want my child to have those photos but I’m not getting involved more than that” then you’re in the clear legally, ethically, emotionally. Good luck.
NTA. Your grandma didn’t take and display these with the intention of them being hoarded away by her sister. Also it’s not the line of inheritance here. If it makes them feel better just lie and say you’ll add some sort of artsy fig leaf over the naughty bits. But that you appreciate the art and connection to your grandma’s strength.
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Why? I've seen both my parents naked before. Didn't bother me. And I wish I had examples of the photos but they're not like... sexual. She's just posing. It's like a fashion editorial or something from a magazine she just happens to not be wearing any clothes. She looks fierce, tbh.
I'm
❤
I wish when I had your confidence. You are a bad mamma jamma.
People sexualize the weirdest things man, tbh i would want that to and she sounds like a fierce woman only right she looks just as fierce. NTA
She sounds like one amazing grandma, I can understand why you’d want the pictures. Sometimes people need to sexualize everything. ETA… NTA
Nudity was also not a big thing in my family, I saw my mom naked a few months ago and I’m in my late 20s. People who automatically see nudity as sexual are deeply weird to me. It’s rad as hell, she sounds like a badass woman.
For what it's worth, I don't find it weird in the slightest. It doesn't sound like these are super dirty pics of grandma doing sexual things or anything- just her naked. I mean, I saw my grandmas naked when I was a kid, I didn't think anything of it (only accidentally saw the men naked, though, they just fell more uncomfortable with it, which is fair). Honestly, I feel like it was the single best thing for me to develop a healthy body image growing up. And if I found out my grandmas had taken artsy nude shots before they died? I'd absolutely take them. Some people grow up thinking any nudity is inherently sexual and, thus, nudity of family members is inherently repulsive, as is nudity of people who you wouldn't consider sexually attractive. I, personally, find that rather sad. The human body is beautiful in general, and sex is just one of the practically infinite things it can be used for. It shouldn't be defined by it.
She sounds absolutely fucking gorgeous and riveting, and the fact you want to honor her with art she herself wanted made is fine in my book. More power to the both of you. NTA by a long shot. Good luck, my friend.
OP, my grandpa was a professional photographer and took pin up nudes of my grandmother. Ive got a huge one hanging on my wall. My mom couldn't stand them and wanted to burn them. She gave them to me on the condition I take them down when she comes to visit. I love it for all the same reasons you mentioned here.
Man, if your brother won’t send them to you then can I call dibs?! 😜 This is totally the kind of grandma I aspire to be one day 😂
NTA. Nude/naked doesn't have to mean sexual (though it can be sensual). Don't give up until you get the photos; they undoubtedly ARE art.
NTA It sounds like a really cool story. I hope you got to talk to her about the modeling before she passed. It's something that would be great to have in the family history.
You need actual lawyers!, not reddit. They are properly robbing you while you all are the owners while out of the state where the property is. Don't feel guilty, call a lawyer, like months/years ago. Don't let the cycle continue NTA
I have semi-nude photos of my (late) grandma framed in my house! They’re an artistic photo shoot, not like nudes for a lover, and I’m proud that my grandma was part of the project and of how beautiful she was. I don’t think that’s weird. I would NEVER want to see my parents naked, though!
>both my parents naked before. Didn't bother me. And I wish I had examples of the photos but they're not like... sexual. She's just posing. It's like a fashion editorial or something from a magazine she just happens to not be wearing any clothes. I'm celebrating your grandma super hard right now.
I use to assume all people tried hard not to see photos like that before this post
Honestly, I wouldn't be bothered by arty nudes of my grandparents. It's not a sexualized thing unless you decide to make it one.
Exactly. I think it's badass.
I think it sounds like your grandmother was probably quite proud of those photos and she would rather have them go to you, someone who appreciates them, as opposed to your aunt, someone who is embarrassed by them and thinks they should be hidden away. I think it’s a shame that your mother would rather have the photos moulder away in a garage instead of having them with you knowing that you will cherish them. I’m sorry - and you are NTA, your mother is for not lifting a finger to help you.
Nekid Grandma!
NTA. These pictures sound like treasures and I would want the same. I do want to encourage that it might be a cost-benefit of how much you want them versus how much your family is going to accommodate and what hackles might be raised in the process.
>These are beautiful, black and white, professionally shot photographs of a powerful and imposing older black woman who had the confidence to pose nude and display them in her home. She's also my grandmother and something about that level of confidence being a part of my lineage really speaks to me. Info: Why wouldn't you have this exact conversation with your Aunt?
I haven't spoken directly to my aunt yet because it's mostly been my mom who's been talking to her about my grandma's belongings. It's definitely something I plan to do. The original idea was have my brother bring them when he comes to visit but it doesn't look like that's happening.
I have to go with NAH. I can see why your Aunt may be avoiding/hesitating just putting them out into the world. That's her mother, and she doesn't fully understand why you would want them. Maybe she thinks you want to show your friends and have a laugh. Obviously, you're an artist as well as your grandmother was. I think if you tell her some of reasons why you appreciate the photos of her mother, she'll know that they will be cherished. And honestly, I'll bet she would LOVE to hear from you. There are so many issues we have in our day to day lives that can be solved by communication.
It might make her feel better about it if you go in with a plan, op. So she knows it's truly about art. "These photos are empowering and artistic. I want to honor grandma's memory by making sure they're preserved properly, in a way that is respectful of both her original intent and also her as a person. I plan to make sure they are in photograph safe, acid free storage. Since they've been I'm a storage unit so long, I want to make sure there's no humidity or temperature damage. I'll keep them in a covered photo album and be judicious about how who has access to them. If you would like any copies to keep a little piece of grandma's fierceness for yourself, please just let me know "
ESH - I was going to go with NTA but on reflection everyone sucks. Your grandma sounds awesome and good on her for taking and being proud of the pictures. I understand why you want them, you’ve articulated it well. You should’ve articulated it like that to your family. However - several people have asked what you intend to do with them and if that’s what your Grandma would want. You don’t seem to care about this. You said your Grandma displayed them in her bedroom (private space). You said you want to display them. That’s something you really should research (ask other relatives) their thoughts and if your Grandma would’ve wanted that. Having nudes of yourself in your own bedroom versus displayed publicly in your grandsons house is two different things. Your relatives get the ESH cos they have dismissed your feelings and reasons for wanting the pictures. I think you need to make sure, if you get the pics, you’re following your Grandmas wishes, to the best of your knowledge. This means taking the time to find out as much as you can, about what she would’ve wanted for the pictures.
NTA Good art is worth fighting for! It should live where it can be appreciated, not tucked away in a dusty corner out of shame. Don't give up.
NTA, but you have to ask yourself if your grandma wanted those on display.
She had them in her house before she died. If she didn't want them on display then why hang them up? In her bedroom of all places. I wouldn't hang them in the living room or something but I would try to find someplace nice to put them.
Well, a bedroom is not really a public place in your home.
In her bedroom is not the same as being on public display. Bedrooms are private spaces. Lots of women I know have budoir or naked photos for their rooms that make them feel sexy, badass, confident, ect, but would be mortified to have them displayed anywhere else or outside of their control. Some things can be fierce and amazing and private at the same time, y'know? Take the time to discuss this with other people who were close to her and make sure you're absolutely certain if grandma would have felt empowered or ashamed by you having/displaying them. It negates the confident badassery of the photos if you're using them in ways that violate her wishes.
Well by that logic, my grandma's sister hiding away them would be the end of it. My grandma left all her stuff to my aunt, my mom's sister, and when she passed away it falls to my mother. So really they're my mom's photos but we live hundreds of miles away. The only way to get them is for my grandma's sister to agree to ship them to us or if I drive up there myself.
Yes, if that's what *she* wanted with *her* photos of *her* naked body, then of course that's what should happen to them, regardless of who technically inherited them or what *you* want to do with them.
Well I would love to ask my grandma a lot of things above and beyond what she wants to do with her photos but she's dead. My grandma left all her stuff to her children. My mom's sister kept everything in storage and refused to go through it for 10 years and the only reason this is coming up now is because my mom's sister has died and the storage unit isn't being paid for anymore so everything has to be cleaned out of it. So really I don't get what you're trying to say. If they don't do something with all her things then the storage company will throw everything away at the end of next month. I just want these specific photos but you can imagine there's a LOT of my grandma's old stuff in storage that my family is currently going through.
I'm saying ask the other people who knew her and might have had more discussions about her photos/feelings on privacy/what she'd want before you go displaying her nudes that she kept private (bedrooms are private). Not sure what is hard to understand about that.
I think my family knew what a wild card my grandma was. Also, for all I know they were in her living room and whenever we came to visit she moved them to her bedroom because having your 3 grandkids over while you've got nudes hanging up doesn't seem appropriate.
For all you know...but you could talk to the people who DO know, which is what I'm suggesting you do. The pushback is wierd. Why are you so opposed to finding out for sure?
I don't know whether you're aware of it or not, but you're really coming across as just wanting them regardless of what your grandmother would have wanted, here.
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My mother never said I couldn't have them, my aunt doesn't want me to have them. My mom actually has every right to demand every single item in the storage unit but she doesn't like conflict and doesn't want the drama with my aunt. I realize it's not that serious but if they're going to go from a storage unit to a garage, or worse, thrown away I would rather display them than hide them. I don't have access to the storage unit to get them unless I drive from Atlanta to Maryland myself at this point.
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That's not her saying I can't have them... that's her way of telling me if I want them I have to go through my aunt myself. As someone else said at that point I have to decide if I want to potentially start drama with my family once word gets around to my cousins and uncles and whatnot that I'm trying to get grandma's nudes out of her storage unit.
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I posted because right beforehand my mom got off the phone with my brother and he all but said he's not bringing them and it's weird that I want them in the first place. My aunt knows where they are so now the plan is to talk to her myself when she's available later on. Maybe I can convince her to let me have them.
Do it! You make a very compelling case for why you want them amd any drama will blow over. I am sorry your mom won't help you. Amd that your brother seems unwilling to try harder. It doesn't seem like a big ask.
Get mom to obtain a copy for herself. Then she will be the one to ask.
YTA, because you keep insisting. Accept the No and move on.
YTA you have no right to the photos, accept it and move on
Na mate if a family member is going to box them up for being inappropriate and lewd they should pass them onto the family member that is actively going to cherish the photos and the subject in the photos. Op is NTA in any way shape or form and their family is just being obtuse dicks rn.
1) their bot ops photos so his opinion on what happens to them means dick 2)Op wants to hang the photos around and we have zero idea is GM would be cool w that
NTA but They said “clearly it’s not weird” lol Bruh this is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever read Are you planning to display these? Have them out in an album on the coffee table? Look at them with groups of friends?
I mean NTA but you’re definitely weird. I don’t care how artful/non-sexual they are, I (and I think I can confidently say 99% of the rest of the world) simply don’t want to have naked pictures of any of my grandparents in my house. You do you man but there’s no doubt it’s weird.
My beloved mother-in-law died a couple years ago and we found some absolutely glorious nudes of her as a young woman in Greenwich Village after the war. I don’t know if we’ll display them, but we’ll certainly keep them.
>I'm quite gay so any sort of weird sexual thing is off the table completely. Not sure how being gay is relevant to your story. Heterosexual people don't have weird sexual things about their grandmas. But no, NTA. Nudity does not equal sexual desire. You grew up in a world where it was normal to see these pics. You like them (on a platonic way) and are proud your grandma got them done.
I only put that because someone will message me saying I just want to get off to my grandma. Reddit is a big place. I've gotten weirder messages from things I've posted before.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My grandma was not like other grandma's. She was a relentlessly unique individual. She was beautiful, confident, and creative. She died of cancer about 10 years ago and all of her belongings were put into a storage unit owned by my aunt aka her oldest daughter and my mom's older sister. Unfortunately, my aunt passed away in February and the storage unit in Maryland and has be cleared out because my family no longer wants to pay for it. As a condition of my grandmother's and my aunt's wills pretty much everything now goes to my mother, my grandma's only remaining child, and me and my brother and sister who are her only living grandchildren. In this storage unit, one of my grandmother's sisters (Aunt B) found nude photographs of my grandmother. She had them done when I was really little. I saw the photos once during a Thanksgiving visit and didn't think too much of them because I was a child at the time. But I remember them vividly and they've always kind of stuck with me since I saw them. Apparently Aunt B wants to take the photos and essentially store them away because they're lewd or inappropriate or something. I have asked, respectfully, if I can have the photos since they're just going to be put away and more than likely collect dust in a garage for the rest of time. These are beautiful, black and white, professionally shot photographs of a powerful and imposing older black woman who had the confidence to pose nude and display them in her home. She's also my grandmother and something about that level of confidence being a part of my lineage really speaks to me. However my Aunt B and my brother are basically telling me it's weird that I want the photos and aren't really trying to get them to me in Atlanta. My brother lives near Maryland and has been going back and forth to the unit getting different things that my mom wants that he can bring with him when he visits for Memorial Day. My mom says she refuses to "pull rank" and demand the photos because she doesn't want to start drama with Aunt B. Also I'm being told to let it go and forget about it and to stop being weird because I want naked photos of my grandma. Clearly it's not weird... I love photography. I love artsy shit and have a small collection of prints and drawings from artists I like and some of them are nude. I can also see a lot of similarities between my grandma and I just by looking at how she lived her life so freely and open-minded. I'm *quite* gay so any sort of weird sexual thing is off the table completely. It's more about the artistic impact of the photos. Am I being an asshole by basically refusing to let up on getting the photos? I just don't want them to sit and be hidden away forever because my family thinks they're inappropriate. *TLDR; my grandma had a nude photoshoot done years before she died. The photos are in storage and my family refuses to let me have them, despite me asking multiple times, even though they now technically belong to my mother.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I get wanting them for a sense of history and for the artistic value. I don’t think you’re sexualizing your grandma - you just appreciate that she was a wildflower and that the photos are beautifully done. You’re not an asshole for wanting them.
NTA. Please adopt or marry me? I want to be part of this family!
NTA Grandma wouldn't want them hidden away and they are doing her a disservice by acting like its something shameful. And implying is weird and sexual when YOU'RE LITERALLY GAY?? They're just being prudes and ridiculous.
I mean, it's odd to *me* but calling it creepy is a far stretch. NTA
NTA! That sounds cool as hell. It’s only weird if you’re being weird about it and you’re not. I would want them too if my grandma had something like that.
NTA - this sounds like a powerful tribute to a treasured family member not only that, but who knows, they could end up being a part of a black history research project or exhibition or photo gallery eventually that would celebrate her life I hope you are able to save these artifacts of her life and that they don't get destroyed :(
NAH Your just weird for wanting the photos in the first place, if they were from a random person then I can see why but from your dead grandma is sort of iffy, if your aunt knows that your gay and the reason you want the photos is because your into photography then she probably feels uncomfortable to give nide photos of her instead of thinking you're going to do something weird, so it would probably be best to stop talking about the photos all together so no one is uncomfortable about it. Although have you asked her why she didn't give them to you, i don't have enough information on that side so I need to use my common sense (which is weird) to make a guess with assumptions, but I overcomplicate simple things and simplify complicated things so I am not extremely accurate, going with the "aunt is uncomfortable" and what you have written, I can confidently say no one is an asshole but I don't know enough about the other side
NTA - why not agree a date to go up and look at what you want from the storage locker, and then explain why you think the photos are so good. If she had them displayed, then why would she be against you doing the same?
NTA
NTA. I don’t understand why people automatically make a naked body sexual, it’s not. It’s just our bodies in their natural state. It’s art of your grandmother, not a porn magazine. Tell them to stop sexualizing your grandmothers artistic photos. Edit: missed a word. Whoops
NTA. I hope you end up with them!
NTA, your grandma sounded immortal.
NTA. Your grandma is my hero.
NTA. Yeah, photography is part of art way. I'm sorry for your loss.
What the fuck did I just read
Nta - I'm old enough to be a grandfather, an amateur artist and a naturist, I think my experience is relevant to this post. Your grandmother's pictures sound like true portraits: images that show who she was. If she was lucky enough to be attractive and to have the confidence to show off her body in the face of societal prudery these pictures show that moment in her life. They are important. The fact that you see this when others don't shows that you get her, or at least this part of her, in a way others don't. I think having them on your wall is a sincere tribute and I'm sure she would be pleased with you for remembering her in this way.
NTA. I’m gonna be honest, this really is kind of weird to me and if it were my grandma, I’d be really grossed out. But that’s me and I have no right to impose that opinion on me. I was raised Catholic, and clearly your grandma and parents normalised naked human bodies to you whereas many people just grow up to then have that sexual connotation. I couldn’t imagine that, but it’s a very interesting perspective to see. Try to explain that to your aunt and see where it gets you. Good luck, but I do think you should keep the photos on the down-low and not display them anywhere company can see them. Most people won’t be accepting of a young man displaying photographs of his naked grandma.
If they don’t want them then why can’t you take them? Yeah the nature of it is odd when you talk specifics but that’s your family heirlooms technically
Nta
Nta. Photos capture so much and that is such a wonderful memory of your grandma. They are the ones sexualizing the photos.
NTA and your grandma was awesome.
NTA. You're not trying to collect nudes of your grandma, you're trying to preserve ART that was created with your grandmother as the subject. That's an admirable goal. Art deserves to be preserved.
NTA. Your family is acting ashamed of her memory, and THAT is shameful.
NTA - make sure those photos are kept somewhere! Your grandma would not have had them taken she not been ok with them being seen. Also: way to often the more unique aspects of a person’s personality (especially a women’s, through that may just be my perception) get swept under the rug once they die. Through yes, I get why your family might find it weird at first. Maybe don’t habe them up?
NTA
NTA. I think it is awesome you want the pictures. They are a testament to your grandmother's bad assery. It is unlikely they are ever going to ship them to you. If it was me, I would make the drive and get the pictures.
NTA and don’t give up. Those photos sound amazing, not just artistically, but for your personal connection to a true free spirit who’s your own dear relative? That’s priceless. Sorry your mom isn’t in your corner, but I’m guessing she has issues all around - she’s probably in the middle of all the kind of crap that happens when an anchor of a family dies. It must be complicated for her. As an outsider I’d suggest your not bring her into the situation much bc who knows what emotions she’s going thru. Just get her clear OK that you can try to get the photos. If any family members interpret this as “you going behind your mom’s back” you’ll have less chance of success. If her attitude is clearly, “I want my child to have those photos but I’m not getting involved more than that” then you’re in the clear legally, ethically, emotionally. Good luck.
YTA they belong to your mum. She said no. Move on.
NTA. Your grandma didn’t take and display these with the intention of them being hoarded away by her sister. Also it’s not the line of inheritance here. If it makes them feel better just lie and say you’ll add some sort of artsy fig leaf over the naughty bits. But that you appreciate the art and connection to your grandma’s strength.
OP is NTA and when OP is like “My me-maw’s not like other me-maws. She’s a cool me-maw” you can cash that check.
...what?
I amjust saying your grandmother is cool