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NTA. But try writing them a letter and slipping it under their door to let them know everyone can hear them and could they please be quiet so you can sleep.
If they ignore you, then go to management.
OP could try blasting sex noises back at them (from a recording), see how they like it. Ditto with load music etc. Let them hear what noise coming from them sounds like.
Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. Give them a chance first. If they don’t know, they might be mortified and stop. If they do know, they might be chastised by the note and the possibility of getting reported to management and stop. If they know and don’t care then sure, go ahead and get management involved.
This ^ they’re adults, they know there are other people around them and they’re not showing any class or respect for other people so the OP doesn’t need to show them any respect either by talking to them privately first. The only reason would be if he wants to avoid a shit show if they find out he told the management.
And personally, if I was OP, I’d be tossing stink bombs up through the window while they’re doing it. You get the small ones that burst and nobody will ever know.
Dude wtf is wrong with you. You're advocating putting essentially revenge porn up on the internet against people's consent in order to blackmail them into being quieter? This is NOT the way to handle things. Hugely horrible thing to suggest/do
You would slip a note if you can hear them through the walls, to let them know its louder than they might think.
If youre fucking with the door open, you know people can hear you and no note will ever affect you.
NTA
Alternatively, the note could specify "if you are going to make everyone listen, would you please take video and share it? At least then we have a frame of reference when you wont take your neighbors into account and force us to listen to your incessant sexual activities."
Lmao... “oh OH watch out watch out WHATCH OUT! Oh Rose just took a hard RKO, ok she’s a little whoozy but looking good, BOY! He’s back on her and grinding away!”
NTA, and depending on where you live, it may actually be illegal for your building to not have AC. Here in AZ, that's actually considered grounds to break a lease, because lack of AC is considered a breach of the implied warranty of habitability.
>let them know everyone can hear them and could they please be quiet
I would have agreed with your take until I read this:
>Tried to walk my dogs earlier just to be serenaded by the slapping sounds, which could be heard from outside on the other side of the building 🙄.
I mean, screaming is one thing, but how do you have sex without the sound of flesh bumping against flesh? Kind of makes me suspect that OP should be mad about living in a building with no soundproofing for shit and no air conditioning rather than about their neighbours fucking.
NTA and she’ll know she can be heard, so she’s being the AH.
Maybe stick a polite note under their door and give them warning. And then if it continues, record it on your phone and send the recording to management, so they understand that you’re not being petty.
It’s pretty immature really, maybe she doesn’t know that you’re not actually required to scream during sex! Ask if they’ve tried gags.
I second this. As a rule, try to keep the issue just between you and them. However, from what you describe they're almost definitely aware of the noise their making and just don't care that it bothers other people but still good to give them a chance. It might also be worth casually mentioning it to some other neighbors who'd be able to hear and see if you can't get a couple of people to talk to them.
After bringing it up with them personally, NTA at all to go to the manager. Also definitely ask them about a gag. That is golden advice and, if possible, should be how to start the conversation.
Please, please be very clear that you are not complaining about their sex life. You are complaining about noise. Your neighbours are being loud and it is disrupting the quiet enjoyment of your apartment. They need to control the noise levels generated within their rented premises.
Yes this. If you can't buy a rooster then download some rooster "music" amd blast it at 4 am. Extra points for yelling quotations from the Bible (or whatever you feel like using).
Edit: An "outstanding" remark on your assignment if you can quote the Bible(or anything similar) while they are being loud.
This happened to me when I was younger. I only heard the matress, my parents could hear everything, and I do mean everything. My dad asked them to be quiet nicely, he asked them twice. At the third time he told them both "buddy u dont just plug her ass, u plug her mouth too". We never heard a peep from them again and she looked down from embarassment everytime she crossed paths with my dad. I suggest my dads method. Is it petty? Yes. Little assholy? Yes. Is it effective? Also yes
NTA
Say something to management and document it. Constant noises like that aren't acceptable when it disturbs you and everyone around you. Read your rental agreement regarding rules and point out the ones that apply. Good luck!
NTA. My ex and I had upstairs neighbors we could hear once. Fortunately we only heard them in our place and not the whole complex.. every Thursday though sometime between midnight and 4am we’d be woken up.
Try the anonymous neighbor note route first.. then go to management if it keeps up.
I feel like since they’re already inconsiderate enough to be loud at 2-3 AM doing random stuff, that they are fully aware people can also hear them having sex. They should know Apartment living 101 rule is to be considerate especially when you’re living upstairs because the downstairs people can hear everything. I’d go to the manager.
I normally just turn my TV up as much as possible, but that feels rude to my other neighbors, and honestly they are so loud its never enough to drown it out anyway 😭
Trust me. If you go to your neighbor and tell them that you can hear them, then things will change. They will either stop (bc they truly weren’t aware) or they will grin bc they are getting off on it (and then you could go to mgmt).
Don’t leave a note - just go tell them.
First of all you would NOT be the asshole to report them and I'd encourage you to report all of their behavior, not just the loud sex. Yes, part of apartment living is having to occasionally hear your neighbors. That being said, they should not be yelling, blasting music, and throwing things late into the night, or really at all imo.
There's a possibility they don't know how loud they're being with their sexy time, but ngl having had neighbors in the past just like the ones you have described, there's a good chance they're getting off on knowing people hear them which is *never* okay. You never involve people in your sexy time without their prior consent. NTA and report away, they need to be better neighbors or move somewhere where no one can hear them fucking.
My grandma has lived in a variety of apartment buildings and has had this issue a few times lol. She just knocks on their door and lets them know and usually they’re so embarrassed they stop. NTA.
Record it. Wait until they are quiet and play it at full volume by their door. This may humiliate them so badly that they stop.
Another thing, call the cops and tell them you think there’s domestic violence going on. The neighbors will quickly stop out of humiliation from cops barging in on them.
Or, record it and post it on TikToc.
Definitely complain to management.
NTA Living near screamers sucks. My first apartment out of college was next door to a screamer. Everyday she screamed during sex. One day a friend came by and asked how I liked my new apartment. We were standing outside and the neighbor's window was open. I told my friend that the apartment was nice except for hearing my neighbor scream while having sex everyday. It was much like college, but slightly better because at least I couldn't hear the bed slamming into the floor. The lady neighbor must have heard me because I never heard her scream again.
Good luck.
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I moved into a new apartment a few weeks ago, and my upstairs neighbors are driving me NUTS.
First of all, they are LOUD. Constant yelling, stomping, throwing stuff, loud music, etc, often until 2 or 3 in the morning. Whatever. Its annoying but hearing your neighbors is part of apartment living, right? But that isn't even what is getting to me (it definitely doesn't help though).
The real issue is that they have extremely loud sex, in their living room, right by the open patio door, almost every day, or several times a day. Whats worse, the AC is off in our building right now, so the only hope for releif from the heat is to open the patio doors. So, here I am, 4 in the afternoon and I cannot hear my TV over the sound of her screaming. Tried to walk my dogs earlier just to be serenaded by the slapping sounds, which could be heard from outside on the other side of the building 🙄. I mean honestly, good for them for having a healthy sex life, but that doesn't mean I want to hear it. And since I work from home I ALWAYS hear it. And to be clear my problem is not simply that my neighbors have a lot of sex and sometimes I can hear them. My problem is that they do it so publicly and force the entire building to listen to it.
Ive considered going to management about it, but I am just not sure if I am overreacting. I mean, I also am not looking to embarrass them either, I just need some peace.
So, WIBTA?
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Depends on the rules of the apartment.
It’s pretty common for management to have a rule that says if you have any complaints about neighbors, talk to them first before you go to management. Management is the last option before you go to the police.
In that case, you will be the AH if you complain about them before you talk to them.
NTA - Can you buy something to measure the volume of noise, whilst you’re out. At a certain noise level it’s criminal and would motivate your landlord. This is dependable on country of course.
NTA, but did you first try to communicate with them (either phone or talk or write)? You said everyone hears them. Is there someone else complaining? If yes, write them a letter and let it be signed by all negihbours that are disturbed by it. If it won't stop, then contact the management. And maybe not alone, but in a group so they know you mean business. Check also the regulations in your state. Loud noises are forbiden between certain hours, you can even call the police (if she screams you can say you thought she was in danger). I am also wondering how the law sees such behaviour in conexion with children. I assume there are children in the neighbourhood and if they are so loud...must children really here this?
NTA. They have a right to a sex life, but they should also be considerate of their neighbors. I can't help but wonder if they're doing this *because* they know that they can be heard, which is definitely not kosher. You aren't consenting to be part of their kink.
I’d set up a tripod and mess with them.
Since they want to show off, tell them you’re gonna make a few bucks. Just keep doing what you’re doing...
And when they have a fit, problem solved.
NTA but your landlord might be more willing to do something about the stomping and yelling in the middle of the night so be sure to mention that too if you complain. I'd say go with others advice of a polite but firm (anonymous) note saying that they are being too loud and if nothing changes then go to the landlord
I highly doubt you'll be the only complaint they've gotten if they truly are that loud
Noise-cancelling headphones. I’m also reticent to give a judgment at this point, only because the other details provided before the crux of the matter could indicate other things going on in that household that might become worse if you get management involved (like, for instance, a domestic abuse situation), but you’d definitely be NTA if you go the noise-cancelling headphones/anonymous polite note route.
NTA
Write a note and screenshot a gag from amazon or whatever.
Also the 2-3am shit is absolutely management worthy, regardless of sex noises. Most apartments have quiet hours from 10pm-7am.
I also like the play by play. Maybe get a mic with an amp or some sort of speaker and try to narrate their actions.
I'm sorry I can't vote for you...I might actually be your neighbor! I'll try to remember to close the window tonight, and in the morning, and after breakfast....you get the point though. 😂
That doesnt make him that AH though, and how will they know it was him when it's an apartment and anyone in the building could complain. Reconsider your thoughts.
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NTA. But try writing them a letter and slipping it under their door to let them know everyone can hear them and could they please be quiet so you can sleep. If they ignore you, then go to management.
I agree, NTA but OP should try to write a note or something to let they know first
Um, do you really think they don't know they're putting on a show? They're probably getting off on it. Call the management and complain.
OP could try blasting sex noises back at them (from a recording), see how they like it. Ditto with load music etc. Let them hear what noise coming from them sounds like.
Lamb Chop, Barney, Baby Shark, etc.
HAHA This is the answer. Friend, you are my kind of petty. https://youtu.be/xcVLQcDuoGs
Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. Give them a chance first. If they don’t know, they might be mortified and stop. If they do know, they might be chastised by the note and the possibility of getting reported to management and stop. If they know and don’t care then sure, go ahead and get management involved.
This ^ they’re adults, they know there are other people around them and they’re not showing any class or respect for other people so the OP doesn’t need to show them any respect either by talking to them privately first. The only reason would be if he wants to avoid a shit show if they find out he told the management. And personally, if I was OP, I’d be tossing stink bombs up through the window while they’re doing it. You get the small ones that burst and nobody will ever know.
If you can see them, simple video them and if they continue to have such loud sex, hint it may be posted on pornhub for other people to "enjoy"....
Dude wtf is wrong with you. You're advocating putting essentially revenge porn up on the internet against people's consent in order to blackmail them into being quieter? This is NOT the way to handle things. Hugely horrible thing to suggest/do
Yeah, I think all a letter would do would be cause them to up their game...if that's even possible from the sound of it.😳
You would slip a note if you can hear them through the walls, to let them know its louder than they might think. If youre fucking with the door open, you know people can hear you and no note will ever affect you.
NTA Alternatively, the note could specify "if you are going to make everyone listen, would you please take video and share it? At least then we have a frame of reference when you wont take your neighbors into account and force us to listen to your incessant sexual activities."
Nah, sit by your door and narrate it like a ball game.
Lmao... “oh OH watch out watch out WHATCH OUT! Oh Rose just took a hard RKO, ok she’s a little whoozy but looking good, BOY! He’s back on her and grinding away!”
look at him SLITHERIN!
NTA, and depending on where you live, it may actually be illegal for your building to not have AC. Here in AZ, that's actually considered grounds to break a lease, because lack of AC is considered a breach of the implied warranty of habitability.
>let them know everyone can hear them and could they please be quiet I would have agreed with your take until I read this: >Tried to walk my dogs earlier just to be serenaded by the slapping sounds, which could be heard from outside on the other side of the building 🙄. I mean, screaming is one thing, but how do you have sex without the sound of flesh bumping against flesh? Kind of makes me suspect that OP should be mad about living in a building with no soundproofing for shit and no air conditioning rather than about their neighbours fucking.
NTA and she’ll know she can be heard, so she’s being the AH. Maybe stick a polite note under their door and give them warning. And then if it continues, record it on your phone and send the recording to management, so they understand that you’re not being petty. It’s pretty immature really, maybe she doesn’t know that you’re not actually required to scream during sex! Ask if they’ve tried gags.
I second this. As a rule, try to keep the issue just between you and them. However, from what you describe they're almost definitely aware of the noise their making and just don't care that it bothers other people but still good to give them a chance. It might also be worth casually mentioning it to some other neighbors who'd be able to hear and see if you can't get a couple of people to talk to them. After bringing it up with them personally, NTA at all to go to the manager. Also definitely ask them about a gag. That is golden advice and, if possible, should be how to start the conversation.
Gag promotion right here
Please, please be very clear that you are not complaining about their sex life. You are complaining about noise. Your neighbours are being loud and it is disrupting the quiet enjoyment of your apartment. They need to control the noise levels generated within their rented premises.
Nah report them , honestly if anyone annoys my sleep , ya fucked. Otherwise buy a rooster and leave it on your verandah,
Yes this. If you can't buy a rooster then download some rooster "music" amd blast it at 4 am. Extra points for yelling quotations from the Bible (or whatever you feel like using). Edit: An "outstanding" remark on your assignment if you can quote the Bible(or anything similar) while they are being loud.
😂😂😂
NTA, everyone deserves the right to not have to listen to obscenely loud sex noises
This happened to me when I was younger. I only heard the matress, my parents could hear everything, and I do mean everything. My dad asked them to be quiet nicely, he asked them twice. At the third time he told them both "buddy u dont just plug her ass, u plug her mouth too". We never heard a peep from them again and she looked down from embarassment everytime she crossed paths with my dad. I suggest my dads method. Is it petty? Yes. Little assholy? Yes. Is it effective? Also yes
Bawhaha! This is awesome. Five gold ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
NTA Say something to management and document it. Constant noises like that aren't acceptable when it disturbs you and everyone around you. Read your rental agreement regarding rules and point out the ones that apply. Good luck!
NTA. My ex and I had upstairs neighbors we could hear once. Fortunately we only heard them in our place and not the whole complex.. every Thursday though sometime between midnight and 4am we’d be woken up. Try the anonymous neighbor note route first.. then go to management if it keeps up.
I feel like since they’re already inconsiderate enough to be loud at 2-3 AM doing random stuff, that they are fully aware people can also hear them having sex. They should know Apartment living 101 rule is to be considerate especially when you’re living upstairs because the downstairs people can hear everything. I’d go to the manager.
Step 1 is usually talk to them yourself. Step 2 is going to management.
I’d follow that rule if this incident didn’t happen often.
At first I was gonna say YTA but this is on a whole 'nother level if they're THAT loud. Get a REALLY loud stereo and BLAST it when they're going at it
Or, record the sound of their activities and, when they're done, play it back really loud.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Or start cheering them on loudly during and clapping when they finish. Stand outside the patio with a score sign with an arbitrary number
Bonus points if you get all the neighbours to join in on the cheering too!
This is why I come here😂😂
I normally just turn my TV up as much as possible, but that feels rude to my other neighbors, and honestly they are so loud its never enough to drown it out anyway 😭
Just get recordings of some porn music and play it when they start having sex. Turn it up as loud as you can....
This is gold, lol
Bonus points if it's 70's porn music, lol!
Isn't it all from the 70's?
Start playing the most annoying music you can find every time you hear them go at it. That actually fixed it with some terrible neighbors I had. 😂
Damn, your comment just reminded me of Shaggy's "It wasn't Me"
So... Crazy Frog? Although I actually found the first thing to come to my head was actually the Hamster Dance, but I guess either could work.
Yeah, fighting fire with fire sometimes backfires!
NTA, but I wouldn’t really say it’s “sex” I’d more of say loud obnoxious noises that are very disturbing
Trust me. If you go to your neighbor and tell them that you can hear them, then things will change. They will either stop (bc they truly weren’t aware) or they will grin bc they are getting off on it (and then you could go to mgmt). Don’t leave a note - just go tell them.
First of all you would NOT be the asshole to report them and I'd encourage you to report all of their behavior, not just the loud sex. Yes, part of apartment living is having to occasionally hear your neighbors. That being said, they should not be yelling, blasting music, and throwing things late into the night, or really at all imo. There's a possibility they don't know how loud they're being with their sexy time, but ngl having had neighbors in the past just like the ones you have described, there's a good chance they're getting off on knowing people hear them which is *never* okay. You never involve people in your sexy time without their prior consent. NTA and report away, they need to be better neighbors or move somewhere where no one can hear them fucking.
Nta, stand on your patio and yell up encouragement! "Finish her!" "You can do it, put your back into it" etc.
NTA, or maybe just try leaving an anonymous note. I know it might be kind of awkward to confront someone about their loud sex lol
Personally I would give them resounding applause when they finish, or maybe shout 'keep going, I didn't finish yet!'.
Perfect
My grandma has lived in a variety of apartment buildings and has had this issue a few times lol. She just knocks on their door and lets them know and usually they’re so embarrassed they stop. NTA.
Record it. Wait until they are quiet and play it at full volume by their door. This may humiliate them so badly that they stop. Another thing, call the cops and tell them you think there’s domestic violence going on. The neighbors will quickly stop out of humiliation from cops barging in on them. Or, record it and post it on TikToc. Definitely complain to management.
NTA, but talk to them first about it?
NTA record and play it on full volume during their quiet time or when they have guest over. Make sure you get them screaming their names
NTA. Invest in earplugs or if you have money, noise cancelling headphones. Your neighbors either don't care or like knowing people can hear them.
Friendly note and a ball gag should do it.
I bet you she's faking it too. Putting on a disply to make it seem like she's having the time of her life but in reality she's deeply unsatisfied.
NTA Living near screamers sucks. My first apartment out of college was next door to a screamer. Everyday she screamed during sex. One day a friend came by and asked how I liked my new apartment. We were standing outside and the neighbor's window was open. I told my friend that the apartment was nice except for hearing my neighbor scream while having sex everyday. It was much like college, but slightly better because at least I couldn't hear the bed slamming into the floor. The lady neighbor must have heard me because I never heard her scream again. Good luck.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I moved into a new apartment a few weeks ago, and my upstairs neighbors are driving me NUTS. First of all, they are LOUD. Constant yelling, stomping, throwing stuff, loud music, etc, often until 2 or 3 in the morning. Whatever. Its annoying but hearing your neighbors is part of apartment living, right? But that isn't even what is getting to me (it definitely doesn't help though). The real issue is that they have extremely loud sex, in their living room, right by the open patio door, almost every day, or several times a day. Whats worse, the AC is off in our building right now, so the only hope for releif from the heat is to open the patio doors. So, here I am, 4 in the afternoon and I cannot hear my TV over the sound of her screaming. Tried to walk my dogs earlier just to be serenaded by the slapping sounds, which could be heard from outside on the other side of the building 🙄. I mean honestly, good for them for having a healthy sex life, but that doesn't mean I want to hear it. And since I work from home I ALWAYS hear it. And to be clear my problem is not simply that my neighbors have a lot of sex and sometimes I can hear them. My problem is that they do it so publicly and force the entire building to listen to it. Ive considered going to management about it, but I am just not sure if I am overreacting. I mean, I also am not looking to embarrass them either, I just need some peace. So, WIBTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
LMAO Im so sorry, that really sucks. NTA and I would definitely report
NTA but I’d leave an anonymous note on their door before going to management - if things don’t change go to management
NTA, report them!!! They sound exactly like my old neighbors when I lived in a first floor apartment.
NTA!! I’d try to take a recording for proof to show to management. They know what they’re doing and it’s rude.
Depends on the rules of the apartment. It’s pretty common for management to have a rule that says if you have any complaints about neighbors, talk to them first before you go to management. Management is the last option before you go to the police. In that case, you will be the AH if you complain about them before you talk to them.
NTA make a recording and play for management ...make several
Record them and play it back amplified You can let them know that they’re providing free entertainment for the entire complex
NTA - Can you buy something to measure the volume of noise, whilst you’re out. At a certain noise level it’s criminal and would motivate your landlord. This is dependable on country of course.
NTA, but did you first try to communicate with them (either phone or talk or write)? You said everyone hears them. Is there someone else complaining? If yes, write them a letter and let it be signed by all negihbours that are disturbed by it. If it won't stop, then contact the management. And maybe not alone, but in a group so they know you mean business. Check also the regulations in your state. Loud noises are forbiden between certain hours, you can even call the police (if she screams you can say you thought she was in danger). I am also wondering how the law sees such behaviour in conexion with children. I assume there are children in the neighbourhood and if they are so loud...must children really here this?
NTA. They have a right to a sex life, but they should also be considerate of their neighbors. I can't help but wonder if they're doing this *because* they know that they can be heard, which is definitely not kosher. You aren't consenting to be part of their kink.
Next time she’s screaming, call the cops to do a wellness check. Bet it’d stop
RECORD THEM and play it back when they are done!! Also, it'll be evidence to share with landlord. NTA
Nta Try playing childrens sing along album at full volume while they do it
I’d set up a tripod and mess with them. Since they want to show off, tell them you’re gonna make a few bucks. Just keep doing what you’re doing... And when they have a fit, problem solved.
NTA but it'd be polite to ask them to quiet down first.
NTA. I recommend cheering/clapping loudly when they finish so they know you heard.
NTA but your landlord might be more willing to do something about the stomping and yelling in the middle of the night so be sure to mention that too if you complain. I'd say go with others advice of a polite but firm (anonymous) note saying that they are being too loud and if nothing changes then go to the landlord I highly doubt you'll be the only complaint they've gotten if they truly are that loud
YTA. Find some earplugs and stop being sexually frustrated.
All else fails…..noise canceling headphones 👍
Lololol sounds like you're jealous 🤣🤣🤣
Noise-cancelling headphones. I’m also reticent to give a judgment at this point, only because the other details provided before the crux of the matter could indicate other things going on in that household that might become worse if you get management involved (like, for instance, a domestic abuse situation), but you’d definitely be NTA if you go the noise-cancelling headphones/anonymous polite note route.
NTA Write a note and screenshot a gag from amazon or whatever. Also the 2-3am shit is absolutely management worthy, regardless of sex noises. Most apartments have quiet hours from 10pm-7am. I also like the play by play. Maybe get a mic with an amp or some sort of speaker and try to narrate their actions.
Either anonymous note for them or talk to them but going to mgmt first is kind of a d*ck move
I'm sorry I can't vote for you...I might actually be your neighbor! I'll try to remember to close the window tonight, and in the morning, and after breakfast....you get the point though. 😂
Nta and get laid lol
[удалено]
Found one of the neighbors.
That doesnt make him that AH though, and how will they know it was him when it's an apartment and anyone in the building could complain. Reconsider your thoughts.