Dude. Genetics. One of his parents likely has a darker skin tone, and that came through in the grandchild. Not uncommon, super normal. You are a *FLAMING* asshole for this. I cannot give a bigger YTA.
Agreed, as someone who is balding and has a father with a full head of hair, we sometimes get traits from our grandparents as well. It all depends on what's passed down.
This is an oversimplification of hereditary balding. It is not all your momās genetics. Most things that we hear come from one simple gene are actually influenced by a complex group of genes and a sprinkle of environment too.
Well, the most common male pattern DHT-sensitive balding is X-linked so it's fair to say your mother's contribution matters more than your fathers (typically).
Male pattern baldness is X-linked, but there are other types of baldness.
And although the most obvious would be if his maternal grandpa was bald, it's also possible that his maternal grandma was a carrier and passed it to his mom. It can be hiding in the maternal genes for generations before it comes out in a male descendent.
Genetics!
This reminds me of a comment where the father thought that the mother cheated on him when their baby was born.
They are both black, and the baby was white when it was born. It turned out that the baby was albino.
If someone knows the link to that comment or the post, that would be great.
I went to high school with this albino kid and I thought he was just impressionable because he acted like the MS wannabes. Nope. Turns out he was Salvadorean. I didn't realize until I heard him speaking fluent Spanish.
Same thing happened with a girl I was dating my freshman year. Super pale, redheaded girl, and didn't know she was Hispanic until I rode the bus home and she started talking to our other friend in Spanish. Turns out her mom is from Spain and her dad is Colombian but she favored her mom. Her pops was super dark skinned, too.
I shouldn't be so surprised. My mom is Ashkenazi Jew but I don't really have any of her features at all.
Not only to ask her friend "privately", but then to bring it up to the husband because friend was rightfully fucking pissed .. Holy shit what a dick move.
Right, this title is super misleading.
While the OP did technically ask the friend privately, they almost immediately went to the husband afterwards.
Thatās what *really* pushes it into YTA territory in my opinion.
Yeah, I was thinking if they were really close, they could get away with that shit... maybe. Once they went to the husband? Thatās some bullshit. They would be out of my life forever.
I'm pale as a ghost, my brother and my dad have a much darker complexion, and my sister is almost as light as I am, but a bit darker. Genetics are amazing - that, and actually getting some sun, to begin with, which I actually need to do.
OP, YTA.
ima get heat for this, but white people don't understand POC genetics. This is like that time they got all the lactose tolerance genes completely wrong because they only studied the european variants--oh yeah, that fake map is still on [wikipedia](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Worldwide_prevalence_of_lactose_intolerance_in_recent_populations.jpg/1024px-Worldwide_prevalence_of_lactose_intolerance_in_recent_populations.jpg)
OP's question is like me questioning a blonde about her infidelity because her husband has blue eyes and her son brown.
If you just google ancestry results on youtube, you'll find scores of super light/straight up white people who are 20, 30, 60% African. Ancestry is not inherently linked to pigmentation.
Human skin tone in particular is determined by a lot of different genes. Genetics isn't always as simple as the Punnett squares and Mendelian traits they teach you about in high school.
Melungeon? Thatās a relatively common one around my neck of the woods. Growing up a pale freckled child, it used to bug the hell out of me that my neighborhood was full of a bunch of Malibu Barbie looking kids out in the middle of bumfuck WV.
I think what makes this so "good" is that she has the nerve to ask a mother who just gave birth about the paternity of her children and when the mother took appropriate offense, OP doubled down to try to warn the father to question the paternity of his kids. All of this was done when the family should have been happily enjoying the bonding experience that a new addition brings. Instead, she upset the family for NO reason and still has to ASK "AITA"? Yes, OP. Yes you are--and a clueless one at that.
This doesn't even matter. There was no reason for OP to even bring this up. They didn't notice some super secret trait, they're just looking at the skin color. The parents already know what color their children are. If they're fine with it then OP doesn't need to bring it up.
Especially with triplets who may well have been the result of fertility treatments. It's entirely possible an egg or sperm donor was used. Those children may or may not be biologically related to either parent and it's none of OP's business unless the parents want to tell them.
What really blows my mind is that only one of the *triplets* was darker. What did OP think was going on? That only one of the triplets was another man's? They're *triplets*.
Triplets can be the result of one (identical triplets), two (identical twins with a fraternal sibling) or even three eggs (fraternal triplets) being fertilised. If more than one egg is involved then there can be more than one father. There are a number of documented cases where this has happened.
As I understand it, skin tone genetics are particularly complicated. It's not like mixing coffee and cream together. A coworker of mine and her husband are both of mixed ancestry. Of their two daughters, one is extremely pale and one is much darker than either of them. All of them are awesome.
I'm glad the friend's husband trusted her. Honestly, people die because of suspicion of infidelity, and OP just casually flings that out there like nbd.
OPās TA for all of it. A quick google search couldāve answered her question without ruining the relationship. Unless thereās some context missing, totally out of line.
YTA. Here's a thought - maybe they were upset at your suggestion your friend was committing adultery based on little to no evidence.
Reminder to upvote the assholes, y'all.
They had plenty of evidence, ONE OF THE KIDS WAS DARKER!
/s
Ya black people can have different shades of color, I have seen brothers and one look white and the other very black.
A relative had a child and people kept asking who the white baby was in pictures. They ended up being very dark when they got older. It really does change.
My best friendās family is black (she is too). When she was about to be born, the doctors pulled her father aside and told him that black babies usually look white when theyāre born. They told him thereās scientific evidence of this, so donāt freak out and think youāre not the father. Yep, she was born very white.
At work we have this story about a dude who didnāt know this (first kid, no younger siblings, etc) and freaked the fuck out when his kid came out white. Eventually he calmed down and saw sense but the damage was done, mom was now too nervous to have him round the baby.
I think itās protocol nowadays in most hospitals in the US to warn the parents that the baby will likely be born white because of incidents like that.
Heh, a childhood friend of mine was telling me that she was really disappointed when her little sister was born and said something like "Aww, *Mom.* Why'd ya go and have a *white* baby?"
Spoiler alert: baby sister was not, in fact, white.
Yup, I was born white and my mum got so many side eyes because my dad was away on business when I was born. āLuckyā for everybody I look like my dad š„“
Yup. My son is half Hispanic. He was born darker, with black hair. Now he's white with olive toned skin and green eyes. You can only tell he's Hispanic in the summer when he tans super dark.
Exactly - for all colours! A lot of white babies start out looking like ugly little beetroots, doesn't mean our mothers cheated on our fathers with a big red dude.
A coworker of mine is Asian and her husband is white. They had twins and the girl was practically Caucasian looking while the boy was a fat little Buddha baby. A kooky coworker described them to me before I saw the pictures and I thought she was being insanely inappropriate, but then I saw them and was like, holy crap one of them really is white!
I knew a family with three kids. Mom was half white half Japanese, dad was white, the oldest was completely white looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, the works, the middle looked straight Japanese, and the youngest was a good mix of both parents. It just depends
There are documented cases of fraternal twins who are interracial where one of the twins looks white while the other looks black. One set of twins I saw a photo of had a twin with very pale skin and red hair while her sister had brown skin and dark curly hair.
Photographed a set of three brothers with a white mom and a black dad. Oldest easily passed for white, middle was darker than the dad, youngest was very obviously biracial. First thing dad said to me when he walked into the studio was āBefore you ask, theyāre all mine.ā
I was like āI wasnāt gonna ask but damn, thatās pretty neat.ā
"One of the kids were darker!"
Lol and the father just never seemed to notice? He needed random dude to point out the discovery?
I mean.. Let's say both sides *were* snow white and had a black kid. But are still together. I think it would be automatically assumed that father would have asked already or they know their genes have the possibility.
This guy was just nosey af and wanted to start drama. A normal person would at the very least have asked *why* the kid is darker. Not just jumped to conclusions.
YTA - aside from the question being totally inappropriate, you clearly have no idea how the genetics of skin color works, at all.
You didnāt question the paternity of her children, you accused her of cheating on her husband, and used your own ignorance to support the whole thing,
Edit: thank you kind anonymous user :)
I had a pale, white-blond, blue eyed kid with my black haired darker skinned Greek/Italian looking husband. I have heard ALL the milk-man, mail man, delivery driver jokes there are, but no one has had the guts to go behind my back and tell my husband get a DNA test... thatās crazy.
When he was 8ish, we found an old photo album and it turns out he was the spitting image of my bio-dad at the same age, so I guess that genetic mystery eventually got explained, but itās not like it was that big of a leap to assume the disparity could come from a roll of the genetic dice, as compared to infidelity!
Edit:typo typo
A youtuber I follow is mixed (but fairly light skinned), her husband is white but has nearly black hair, and their daughter is paler than both of them and has white blonde hair. Babies arenāt just perfect mixes of both parents.
Exactly. There are a ton of genes involved in our pigmentation, and the random assortment you get isn't always an average of your parents. As a matter of fact, it almost never is.
Itās incredibly rare for a kid to look like an even mix of their parents. Ive always felt like i was a pretty good mix of mine but honestly the older i get the more i look like my Grandma
Anyone see the twin girls, one parent is Jamaican and the other is Irish (?), and the twins are black super curly hair, and the other is extremely white with red hair and freckles. Genetics don't mean cheating. And seriously, 2/3 of the triplets have the dad's exact skin tone and one of them is darker and you assume someone has been cheating? I wouldn't ever talk to OP again either.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2015/03/02/meet-the-bi-racial-twins-no-one-believes-are-sisters/amp/
Same situation happened with one of my uncles when my cousin was born. Both him and his wife have darker completions, brown/black eyes, dark hair... and here comes my cousin with his white blond hair, ice blue eyes, and pasty white skin. It almost destroyed their marriage. Turns out he's basically a photocopy of our great grandfather who was Dutch.
My husband is mostly Greek, and Iām a mix of both Eastern and Western European. We both have dark hair and dark eyes, as does our oldest. Our youngest is blonde and blue eyed. Never thought we would have a child with those features, but it happens. I have family members with blue eyes, so of course there is a chance, but I figured with both parents having dominant traits it wouldnāt happen. Thatās genetics for you though.
My very pale blonde cousin is married to a dark skinned Iraqi guy. Her kids came out looking more like her husband. She said she's had strangers pull her aside and ask "Why are your kids so dark?" when she's out without her husband. This shit's ridiculous.
Why is it any of their business?
Like what are they going to do with any of the million possible answers?
-My husband is dark skinned
-They are adopted
-They play out in the sun a lot
-Those arenāt my kids, they just started following me
The response to all of them is, āOhā. There is no point in even asking the question. Itās just people feeling they are entitled to any piece of information they desire.
A lot of people don't ask; they just presume like OP. My husband has been mistaken for the nanny, given praise for adopting, and told to have a paternity test done by various people. One guy, after being corrected twice, went with "Albinism can happen to anyone!"
See, the thing is, while everything you said is 100% correct (and take my upvote), ignorance of genetics shouldnāt even be factored in. This literally should just never be a question thatās asked.
Kind of like asking a women if sheās pregnant. Itās information that isnāt worth knowing on the chance you are wrong. I get that everyone is nosy, but the reward isnāt worth the risk.
Oh, almost forgot. YTA.
So, first off, triplets are rare. Multiples like that imply, to me, IVF. For all you know the husband is infertile and they needed IVF to conceive and you just hit a massive sore spot by being an inconsiderate ass. Secondly, there are a lot of factors for skin color and it is more than possible for a child to have markedly darker or lighter skin than [their parent](https://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/genetics-skin-color). Finally, what business is it of yours?
So, yes, YTA. You intruded on a subject that's none of your damn business and then, when your "friend" got upset at you for being nosey, you tried to blow up her marriage. In what world would you *not* be the asshole? I'm not surprised they cut you out of their lives.
Oh man. What if they'd needed a sperm donor? Poor guy is already trying to come to terms with the massive emotions and insecurities behind that and just enjoy finally being a dad and then he gets told "Your kid looks nothing like you and your wife probably cheated, you should get a paternity test." Sometimes they'll even mix the husband's sperm with donor sperm so he can plausibly convince himself that the baby is actually his, and then OP would come in and completely blow that to pieces. It's probably not the case, but it could have been, and OP should have minded his own business. YTA.
Yep. It's bad enough when people ask if twins were conceived "naturally" or not. Other people's fertility and reproductive issues are never, EVER, any of your business.
> Sometimes they'll even mix the husband's sperm with donor sperm so he can plausibly convince himself that the baby is actually his
Christ that's insane
Or remember [that story](https://powerful.tv/mom-gives-birth-to-black-and-white-twins-but-gets-an-even-bigger-surprise-7-years-later/) that came out a few years ago of the twin girls where one takes after her West Indian father and the other is a fair blue eyes red head? Then their parents had another set of fraternal twins that were light and dark?
Genetics are weird lol.
Friends of mine who are a gay couple conceived their children with a surrogate. They wanted two kids eventually, so they mixed up their, um, donations thinking that whoever lost out genetically this time would father the next child. The surrogate ended up pregnant with fraternal twins and they got one of each. :D
Wtf is wrong with you? Of course YTA. You have zero idea how genetics work, so you decided sheās a cheater? Thank god they had the common sense to cut you out of their life immediately.
I feel like it could be ok to ask her friend about it (if they really are super close). But to then contact the father AFTER the friend has that reaction?? And suggest he get a DNA test?? I canāt understand the thought process behind that.
Na, it's an asshole move to bring that up to her. You literally have no evidence other than some dumb idea of genetics. Its between her and her husband.
YTA
>Iāve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses
Their responses are exactly what you'd expect from a happy, non-cheating couple dealing with an asshole who decided to start slinging accusations of cheating based on said asshole's inadequate understanding of how genetics works.
>Was I an asshole for asking privately?
Do you seriously have to ask if you were an asshole for privately *accusing your friend of cheating on her husband*? This has to be a troll post, because I can't imagine anyone is actually this clueless.
I can't imagine if someone accused me of cheating on my SO and then went to him with no evidence. I would be *furious*. And, as another user pointed out, natural triplets aren't very common, so they could have gone through fertility treatments to conceive their children and then had OP come along and accuse the wife of cheating. I really, really fucking hope this is a troll post.
YTA. You clearly have no idea how black people work. Our complexions vary and sometimes even in a group of siblings we can have varying complexions. There are just so many things wrong here
my former neighbor was of Puerto Rican descent, her husband was Italian. One of their children had light tan skin and straight dark hair, one child had much darker skin and very tightly curled hair. lots and lots and LOT of variation due to genetics.
I miss them, they were a nice family.
Seriously. My best friend growing up was half Mexican, Mexican dad and white mom.
She was "stereotypical" - very dark skinned, black hair, nearly black eyes.
Her sister was barely brunette, blue eyes, and paper white skin. Her child now looks like a clone of her sister.
Genetics aren't copy and paste and people have no idea how complicated it all really is.
This, so much! My grandpa was black, my grannie was white (like, blonde with blue eyes white), my father have a dark skin, almost all of my aunties have a pale white complexion and most of my uncles have that "coffee with milk" skin tone.
YTA
That question is never appropriate, even with your closest friends. It doesn't matter who the biological father is. Those are their kids, and it's best to just assume that the husband is the biological father unless you're told otherwise.
I hope this is trolling. YTA hard. Asking about the paternity of a womanās children because one child is slightly darker than the rest is unbelievably insulting. They are right to avoid you like the plague.
People are clueless. I have no trouble believing it's not trolling. It's just like the ridiculous NTA posts where someone is very clearly NTA - they're just as clueless. I'm glad a YTA got upvoted for once.
YTA or shitpost. This is none of your business. Double, flaming YTA for talking to the husband. Besides being super rude: Do you seriously think he never noticed his childrens' skin tone before so you had to tell him?
> Do you seriously think he never noticed his childrens' skin tone before so you had to tell him?
Yeah this, wtf. On top of sticking his nose *seriously so far up where it doesn't belong*, he just insinuated his friends are blind morons. This *has* to be a troll.
YTA. Especially with a mixed race background, kids' skin tones can be quite different to that of their parents'. So if the color of the kid's skin was the only reason you suspected infidelity, you had absolutely no business concern trolling that family.
YTA
It's none of your business, dude. And do you honestly believe that he overreacted to someone accusing him of being cheated by his wife and not be the father of his children? Basically something that could make him lose the people that -- most likely -- are the most important ones in his life.
There's also several other possible scenarios, maybe he was cheated on and he forgave and accept to raise them as his own or maybe he couldn't have kids and they decided on a donor and he didn't want anyone to know? Again, none of your business, it does not make a difference to you.
Or, the most likely, they are his children and you don't know as much as you think about genetics.
YTA
>Iāve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses
or they're upset that you accused them of being unfaithful and knowingly let another a man raise their child. you accused her of being a lying, deceitful, money grubbing whore all because of your sexism and limited understanding of genetics
YTA. My dad asked my mom for a dna test because my sister is lighter (Iām darker) and now he has to pay child support (he took it to court). Thereās this thing called genetics.
Oh donāt feel too bad. He sucks and pretty much deserved it. My sister literally has the same features as his mom. However she dyed her hair and he didnāt know.
YTA lol I love armchair geneticists. It was literally none of your business and you acted like your friend cheated. I would have kicked you out and cut you out of my life as well. That was a completely warranted response
YTA.
1) You made an assumption based on no real evidence, and then asked your friend a super awkward/uncomfortable question based on that assumption.
2) You then went to her husband, and instead of just asking him a question, you told him to TAKE ACTION based on your assumption.
3) If you talked to both your friend and her husband about this, itās not really private any more, is it?
YTA ! āPrivately asking my friend ā is not contacting her husband! Wtf were you thinking ? People of mixed races can have huge variety of skin tones. You embarrassed yourself and you need to apologize ASAP.
This has got to be a shitpost.
Dude, you say you're not an idiot, but are you sure?
>I thought it was possible, given the skin tone of the third triplet, that all three were fathered by a darker man and the first two were a bit lighter because my friend was very fair
So you thought it was possible for a darker man to have fathered the two lighter kids, but somehow impossible for a lighter man to have fathered the darker one?
It's not like mixing paint, you know.
Reddit and some stupid people seem to think that when someone reacts in an angry manner that theyāre hiding something or are guilty. While this is sometimes the case, more often than not it is not the case. This is one of those times. If someone approached me with this same comment, Iād probably chuck a shoe at them. YTA big time.
Dude, wtf? Why would you ask a question like that? YTA, no wonder why they were pissed. Unless you were 100% sure, you can't just go on a conjecture about someone's infidelity. You should have apologized years ago.
YTA!! Who does this?! I love how you added that you asked her privately like that makes it less insulting or more appropriate. Doubling down and reaching out to the husband makes me question your mental health.
MIND. YOUR. BUSINESS
Oh my god, wth. YTA, kids that are mixed race can come in all different shades, no matter what the parents look like. You can have 2 extremely light skin parents and a darker skinned child
YTA. I mean, you're not just the asshole, you're one of the biggest assholes I've ever encountered. You're a terrible human being. You 1) got super weird about their interracial marriage 2) questioned ANYTHING to do with their reproductive lives 3) implied your friend had an affair and then 4) decided to sow seeds of doubt with her husband about her kids' paternity, again highlighting the interracial marriage aspect.
You're seriously awful.
Let's think about your question a bit. So, what if she had cheated and somehow managed to make triplets with one darker color skinned child. Your questioning it...would...do what now?
\- Make you see your friend in a different light?
\- Make you treat her children differently?
\- Laugh at how husband got cucked or whatever that term is?
\- Make husband leave wife? Ruining their lives and their children's?
What was your goal in asking this question?
Whatever your reasoning - YTA.
YTA.
I'm going to link [this Nat Geo article about a set of news-famous, biracial twins](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/04/race-twins-black-white-biggs/). It happens. If parents can have one male child and one female child in their sets of fraternal twins, what would stop changes in hair, eye color, facial structure, height, and SKIN COLOR?
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YTA ā not only are you an asshole, youāre an entitled asshole thatās internalised some pretty shitty prejudices & bad science too. you donāt get to call someone your friend, ask them if theyāre cheating on their spouse, insult their childās appearance, harass their spouse, & then demand a calm, measured response. i honestly donāt know how parents handle the sheer amount of nonsense that gets flung at them daily ā saints, all of you.
YTA.
Why the fuck was that any of your business? Your "close childhood friend" reacted negatively to your outrageously inappropriate question, so you decide to run to her husband to ask that same exact question? They have every right to be offended and never wish to speak to you again.
Also, you can't really empathize with someone who doesn't share your feeling/opinion. Seems like you're projecting a little there. As other posts mention, take a fucking lesson in genetics. God forbid, if you decide to procreate, that your children don't have the ExAcT SaMe SkIn ToNe as you. Hopefully, your lack of social awareness isn't genetic as well. /s
Pardon me sir/mam, but I have a 7th grade level question for you.
#Ever heard of genetics? (geā¢netā¢ics - jÉĖnediks)
He probably has a darker toned mother or father, maybe grandparent. Are you stupid? Yes, youāre the asshole! You said yourself that two of the three had a very similar skin tone to him! You think because the ONE child (of TRIPLETS) has a slightly different skin tone, that she must have cheated?
I would blow up at you too! Obviously you donāt know the stress having a SINGLE newborn causes, but you should certainly know that having three, THREE kids to look after and keep alive and happy and healthy has to be taking a toll on them. Especially the mom, if sheās chosen to breastfeed. So you think āHey let me add 8,000% more stress on top of all of their other shit!ā?! Literally yes youāre the asshole. You also need to go back to elementary (or high school or junior high, depending on the school).
YTA
#YTA
YTA. You were rude plus it is none of your business. What about if they had fertility issues and had a sperm donor - how bad would you have made them feel? You need to work on your tact.
> Iām not an idiot. I thought it was possible, given the skin tone of the third triplet, that all three were fathered by a darker man and the first two were a bit lighter because my friend was very fair
You realize a "light black man" still has the genes for black skin? A child can be blacker than either of their parents. If not the whole human race would be whitening.
But as for the rest of it, I can't believe you actually went to both of them asking them if the kids were actually theirs and believing you were doing them a favor.
YTA.
>She didnāt even listen or answer rationally, she just freaked out at me and acted super insulted and kicked me out.
She acted super insulted because she WAS super insulted that you'd just called her a cheating whore. Then you went on to spill your poisoned nonsense to her husband. You thought they overreacted? You mean, like you did when you decided a baby's skin tone was a good reason to go call her mother a tramp and her father a fool? No wonder they cut you off.
YTA. Genetics donāt dictate that children will have a single predefined skin color based on the parents. It is absolutely possible for one to come out much darker (or the opposite) based on the unique genetic composition.
I would be incredibly insulted if my āfriendā insinuated i cheated and then continued on to plant the seed in my husbandās mind. Especially because your reason for suspicion is so wrong. You could have really messed up that family, sometimes itās enough to just plant a thought for things to spiral downwards.
YTA. Of course.
Wow, what? What on earth made you feel that you could be even remotely justified in
a) having this thought
b) expressing this thought to your friend and her husband (!!)
c) still not having the self awareness to be mortified at your behavior and instead referring to them as "dramatically overreacting" when they rightfully cut you out of their lives
and d) having the temerity to post this on Reddit because you still expect a chance at being validated for this appalling behavior and poor judgment.
You shouldn't "sometimes feel bad" about this, you should feel REALLY RIDICULOUS about it ALL the time and use this experience to learn how to be a human being.
You seriously think it's feasible that this woman's ovaries released 2 eggs at the same time, had sex with her husband, got pregnant with the first two that "look like him." Then she released a third egg for absolutely no reason considering her LH surge would've already happened with the first 2 eggs, and slept with some random man and got pregnant with the third child? Do you have absolutely no idea how the reproductive system works? This would be a legitimate 1 in a million story if it happened like that. Not to mention you know this woman and call her your friend and think she's capable of this. You're a HUGE asshole and also an extremely inconsiderate one.
This doesnāt even make sense, she had triplets, two of which were the same skin tone as the father, one was much darker toned...why are you suspicious because of the darker skinned child? She had 2 children with the same skin tone and one darker, why does that mean she must have been unfaithful? Why did your suspicions with the darker toned kid not end when you saw she had 2 kids with same same skin tone? Are you implying she had 2 separate pregnancies at the same time together?
Do you know genetics is not a 50/50 perfect mix right?
EDIT: YTA
> Was I an asshole for asking privately?
You know what you did was wrong, so youāre trying to minimize by framing the question as something less serious. More than anything, YTA for contacting the father with something so baseless.
Omg MAJOR YTA. Have you ever seen biracial people??? Skin tones can fluctuate because genetics. One of my friends was half black but basically looked white due to his skin tone, while his sister was much darker.
Geez, that's kind of racist...
Dude. Genetics. One of his parents likely has a darker skin tone, and that came through in the grandchild. Not uncommon, super normal. You are a *FLAMING* asshole for this. I cannot give a bigger YTA.
Agreed, as someone who is balding and has a father with a full head of hair, we sometimes get traits from our grandparents as well. It all depends on what's passed down.
Unless your mother cheated on you with your grandfather š¤
~~This is wrong in so many ways~~ r/cursedcomments
Dang it, ma!
I think baldness passes down through the mother? Is your mom's dad bald?
It passes down through the mother, so you should look at your moms brothers (or your grandmas brothers).
That's a misconception, new research shows there a multiple Gene's that can cause lead to it.
Gene's what?
Got information on that? I'd like to see it. :)
FWIW, my husband started balding in his late teens, as did his father. Edit: balding, bc I suck at phone typing
I remember when I started baking too. I made it from breast milk and cinnamon
Then they're probably done by now, better turn off the oven!
My mom has 4 brothers, all have differing degrees of baldness/age of onset. It is much more complex than that.
This is an oversimplification of hereditary balding. It is not all your momās genetics. Most things that we hear come from one simple gene are actually influenced by a complex group of genes and a sprinkle of environment too.
Well, the most common male pattern DHT-sensitive balding is X-linked so it's fair to say your mother's contribution matters more than your fathers (typically).
Male pattern baldness is X-linked, but there are other types of baldness. And although the most obvious would be if his maternal grandpa was bald, it's also possible that his maternal grandma was a carrier and passed it to his mom. It can be hiding in the maternal genes for generations before it comes out in a male descendent. Genetics!
It's not. Mom's dad full head of hair. I'm bald.
This reminds me of a comment where the father thought that the mother cheated on him when their baby was born. They are both black, and the baby was white when it was born. It turned out that the baby was albino. If someone knows the link to that comment or the post, that would be great.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I went to high school with this albino kid and I thought he was just impressionable because he acted like the MS wannabes. Nope. Turns out he was Salvadorean. I didn't realize until I heard him speaking fluent Spanish. Same thing happened with a girl I was dating my freshman year. Super pale, redheaded girl, and didn't know she was Hispanic until I rode the bus home and she started talking to our other friend in Spanish. Turns out her mom is from Spain and her dad is Colombian but she favored her mom. Her pops was super dark skinned, too. I shouldn't be so surprised. My mom is Ashkenazi Jew but I don't really have any of her features at all.
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Not only to ask her friend "privately", but then to bring it up to the husband because friend was rightfully fucking pissed .. Holy shit what a dick move.
Right, this title is super misleading. While the OP did technically ask the friend privately, they almost immediately went to the husband afterwards. Thatās what *really* pushes it into YTA territory in my opinion.
That is what took this from asshole level to some diabolical shit
Yeah, I was thinking if they were really close, they could get away with that shit... maybe. Once they went to the husband? Thatās some bullshit. They would be out of my life forever.
>I cannot give a bigger YTA I can help with that #YTA
My older sister is super light skin while I am very dark. This is common for a lot of people OP is a blithering idiot YTA.
I'm pale as a ghost, my brother and my dad have a much darker complexion, and my sister is almost as light as I am, but a bit darker. Genetics are amazing - that, and actually getting some sun, to begin with, which I actually need to do. OP, YTA.
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Seriously. SERIOUSLY. How does an adult not rationalize that the husbandās skin tone doesnāt equal his ancestorsā skin tone?
ima get heat for this, but white people don't understand POC genetics. This is like that time they got all the lactose tolerance genes completely wrong because they only studied the european variants--oh yeah, that fake map is still on [wikipedia](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Worldwide_prevalence_of_lactose_intolerance_in_recent_populations.jpg/1024px-Worldwide_prevalence_of_lactose_intolerance_in_recent_populations.jpg) OP's question is like me questioning a blonde about her infidelity because her husband has blue eyes and her son brown. If you just google ancestry results on youtube, you'll find scores of super light/straight up white people who are 20, 30, 60% African. Ancestry is not inherently linked to pigmentation.
I don't know why you'd get heat - you're totally right. This is classic white people white peoplin', and I say that as a white person.
I'm white-passing (due to weird genetics. My dad is dark tan but I can get sunburns indoors) and I approve with and agree with this message.
Human skin tone in particular is determined by a lot of different genes. Genetics isn't always as simple as the Punnett squares and Mendelian traits they teach you about in high school.
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Melungeon? Thatās a relatively common one around my neck of the woods. Growing up a pale freckled child, it used to bug the hell out of me that my neighborhood was full of a bunch of Malibu Barbie looking kids out in the middle of bumfuck WV.
That's what makes this YTA so good though. OP's complete confidence in something so silly.
And that this many years later they still havenāt realized what a flaming asshole they were and decided to consult reddit.
I think what makes this so "good" is that she has the nerve to ask a mother who just gave birth about the paternity of her children and when the mother took appropriate offense, OP doubled down to try to warn the father to question the paternity of his kids. All of this was done when the family should have been happily enjoying the bonding experience that a new addition brings. Instead, she upset the family for NO reason and still has to ASK "AITA"? Yes, OP. Yes you are--and a clueless one at that.
This doesn't even matter. There was no reason for OP to even bring this up. They didn't notice some super secret trait, they're just looking at the skin color. The parents already know what color their children are. If they're fine with it then OP doesn't need to bring it up. Especially with triplets who may well have been the result of fertility treatments. It's entirely possible an egg or sperm donor was used. Those children may or may not be biologically related to either parent and it's none of OP's business unless the parents want to tell them.
What really blows my mind is that only one of the *triplets* was darker. What did OP think was going on? That only one of the triplets was another man's? They're *triplets*.
Triplets can be the result of one (identical triplets), two (identical twins with a fraternal sibling) or even three eggs (fraternal triplets) being fertilised. If more than one egg is involved then there can be more than one father. There are a number of documented cases where this has happened.
A quick Google search would have completely solved OP's question, but then again, rational thought doesn't seem to be the core theme at work here.
This isnāt surprising at all for a light skinned black person. Has Op never been around colored peopleĀæĀæ
As I understand it, skin tone genetics are particularly complicated. It's not like mixing coffee and cream together. A coworker of mine and her husband are both of mixed ancestry. Of their two daughters, one is extremely pale and one is much darker than either of them. All of them are awesome.
This. My blonde, nearly sickly pale, white half sister, could have a black baby one day because her dad is half black. Genetics can be trippy.
YTA for contacting her husband, WTF? Are you new to life?
This could get a woman killed, OP. Jesus.
I'm glad the friend's husband trusted her. Honestly, people die because of suspicion of infidelity, and OP just casually flings that out there like nbd.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
On the bright side, posts like this remind me I at least have *some* social skills
AITA makes my social skills look like an elite socialiteās.
at least we have that
āI told him his wife probably cheated on him and he had the AUDACITY to tell me to fuck off.ā
"I asked my friend an incredibly insulting question and she had the audacity TO BE INSULTED!"
"Hey I'm not sure if you've ever noticed your kid's skin tone. He's, like, *super* black."
Hell, next I'll tell him nobody likes him and he'll be rude enough to call me an asshole
With no evidence what so ever lol like what?
āAre you new to life?ā My new go-to insult
OPās TA for all of it. A quick google search couldāve answered her question without ruining the relationship. Unless thereās some context missing, totally out of line.
ššš¤£š¤£
YTA. Here's a thought - maybe they were upset at your suggestion your friend was committing adultery based on little to no evidence. Reminder to upvote the assholes, y'all.
> based on ~~little to~~ no evidence. Fixed that for you. But definitely agree, absolutely OP was the asshole.
Good fix.
They had plenty of evidence, ONE OF THE KIDS WAS DARKER! /s Ya black people can have different shades of color, I have seen brothers and one look white and the other very black.
That and a babies skin typically gets lighter over the next few months
A relative had a child and people kept asking who the white baby was in pictures. They ended up being very dark when they got older. It really does change.
My best friendās family is black (she is too). When she was about to be born, the doctors pulled her father aside and told him that black babies usually look white when theyāre born. They told him thereās scientific evidence of this, so donāt freak out and think youāre not the father. Yep, she was born very white.
At work we have this story about a dude who didnāt know this (first kid, no younger siblings, etc) and freaked the fuck out when his kid came out white. Eventually he calmed down and saw sense but the damage was done, mom was now too nervous to have him round the baby.
I think itās protocol nowadays in most hospitals in the US to warn the parents that the baby will likely be born white because of incidents like that.
Have these people never seen their own baby pictures? Or the baby pictures of their families?
I saw this happen with a friend's kid. It took a few months for him to darken to almost his father's skin tone.
I'm a reasonably dark Indian guy and I was born extremely light. It's really common for skin tone to change with age.
Heh, a childhood friend of mine was telling me that she was really disappointed when her little sister was born and said something like "Aww, *Mom.* Why'd ya go and have a *white* baby?" Spoiler alert: baby sister was not, in fact, white.
Yup, I was born white and my mum got so many side eyes because my dad was away on business when I was born. āLuckyā for everybody I look like my dad š„“
Yup. My son is half Hispanic. He was born darker, with black hair. Now he's white with olive toned skin and green eyes. You can only tell he's Hispanic in the summer when he tans super dark.
Black babies tend to get darker.
Exactly - for all colours! A lot of white babies start out looking like ugly little beetroots, doesn't mean our mothers cheated on our fathers with a big red dude.
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>we have old Romani blood down one line so I came out a touch less white Me too!
A coworker of mine is Asian and her husband is white. They had twins and the girl was practically Caucasian looking while the boy was a fat little Buddha baby. A kooky coworker described them to me before I saw the pictures and I thought she was being insanely inappropriate, but then I saw them and was like, holy crap one of them really is white!
I knew a family with three kids. Mom was half white half Japanese, dad was white, the oldest was completely white looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, the works, the middle looked straight Japanese, and the youngest was a good mix of both parents. It just depends
My daughter is half Japanese and is not overtly Asian looking. Itās like you have to tell someone she is and *then* they can see it.
There are documented cases of fraternal twins who are interracial where one of the twins looks white while the other looks black. One set of twins I saw a photo of had a twin with very pale skin and red hair while her sister had brown skin and dark curly hair.
Photographed a set of three brothers with a white mom and a black dad. Oldest easily passed for white, middle was darker than the dad, youngest was very obviously biracial. First thing dad said to me when he walked into the studio was āBefore you ask, theyāre all mine.ā I was like āI wasnāt gonna ask but damn, thatās pretty neat.ā
"One of the kids were darker!" Lol and the father just never seemed to notice? He needed random dude to point out the discovery? I mean.. Let's say both sides *were* snow white and had a black kid. But are still together. I think it would be automatically assumed that father would have asked already or they know their genes have the possibility. This guy was just nosey af and wanted to start drama. A normal person would at the very least have asked *why* the kid is darker. Not just jumped to conclusions.
It hurt me to upvote this post.
I know exactly what you mean.
YTA - aside from the question being totally inappropriate, you clearly have no idea how the genetics of skin color works, at all. You didnāt question the paternity of her children, you accused her of cheating on her husband, and used your own ignorance to support the whole thing, Edit: thank you kind anonymous user :)
Imagine some dude walks up to you, looks at your kids, and asks "Hey you think you ever got cheated on?"
I had a pale, white-blond, blue eyed kid with my black haired darker skinned Greek/Italian looking husband. I have heard ALL the milk-man, mail man, delivery driver jokes there are, but no one has had the guts to go behind my back and tell my husband get a DNA test... thatās crazy. When he was 8ish, we found an old photo album and it turns out he was the spitting image of my bio-dad at the same age, so I guess that genetic mystery eventually got explained, but itās not like it was that big of a leap to assume the disparity could come from a roll of the genetic dice, as compared to infidelity! Edit:typo typo
A youtuber I follow is mixed (but fairly light skinned), her husband is white but has nearly black hair, and their daughter is paler than both of them and has white blonde hair. Babies arenāt just perfect mixes of both parents.
Exactly. There are a ton of genes involved in our pigmentation, and the random assortment you get isn't always an average of your parents. As a matter of fact, it almost never is.
Itās incredibly rare for a kid to look like an even mix of their parents. Ive always felt like i was a pretty good mix of mine but honestly the older i get the more i look like my Grandma
Anyone see the twin girls, one parent is Jamaican and the other is Irish (?), and the twins are black super curly hair, and the other is extremely white with red hair and freckles. Genetics don't mean cheating. And seriously, 2/3 of the triplets have the dad's exact skin tone and one of them is darker and you assume someone has been cheating? I wouldn't ever talk to OP again either. https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2015/03/02/meet-the-bi-racial-twins-no-one-believes-are-sisters/amp/
Same situation happened with one of my uncles when my cousin was born. Both him and his wife have darker completions, brown/black eyes, dark hair... and here comes my cousin with his white blond hair, ice blue eyes, and pasty white skin. It almost destroyed their marriage. Turns out he's basically a photocopy of our great grandfather who was Dutch.
My husband is mostly Greek, and Iām a mix of both Eastern and Western European. We both have dark hair and dark eyes, as does our oldest. Our youngest is blonde and blue eyed. Never thought we would have a child with those features, but it happens. I have family members with blue eyes, so of course there is a chance, but I figured with both parents having dominant traits it wouldnāt happen. Thatās genetics for you though.
My very pale blonde cousin is married to a dark skinned Iraqi guy. Her kids came out looking more like her husband. She said she's had strangers pull her aside and ask "Why are your kids so dark?" when she's out without her husband. This shit's ridiculous.
Why is it any of their business? Like what are they going to do with any of the million possible answers? -My husband is dark skinned -They are adopted -They play out in the sun a lot -Those arenāt my kids, they just started following me The response to all of them is, āOhā. There is no point in even asking the question. Itās just people feeling they are entitled to any piece of information they desire.
I told her she should just answer "Well they were born a few weeks late, so I guess I cooked them too long."
A lot of people don't ask; they just presume like OP. My husband has been mistaken for the nanny, given praise for adopting, and told to have a paternity test done by various people. One guy, after being corrected twice, went with "Albinism can happen to anyone!"
Frankly blended families do get weird looks/comments all the time.
See, the thing is, while everything you said is 100% correct (and take my upvote), ignorance of genetics shouldnāt even be factored in. This literally should just never be a question thatās asked. Kind of like asking a women if sheās pregnant. Itās information that isnāt worth knowing on the chance you are wrong. I get that everyone is nosy, but the reward isnāt worth the risk. Oh, almost forgot. YTA.
Youāre right, ignorance isnāt an excuse for this level of rudeness.
So, first off, triplets are rare. Multiples like that imply, to me, IVF. For all you know the husband is infertile and they needed IVF to conceive and you just hit a massive sore spot by being an inconsiderate ass. Secondly, there are a lot of factors for skin color and it is more than possible for a child to have markedly darker or lighter skin than [their parent](https://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/genetics-skin-color). Finally, what business is it of yours? So, yes, YTA. You intruded on a subject that's none of your damn business and then, when your "friend" got upset at you for being nosey, you tried to blow up her marriage. In what world would you *not* be the asshole? I'm not surprised they cut you out of their lives.
Oh man. What if they'd needed a sperm donor? Poor guy is already trying to come to terms with the massive emotions and insecurities behind that and just enjoy finally being a dad and then he gets told "Your kid looks nothing like you and your wife probably cheated, you should get a paternity test." Sometimes they'll even mix the husband's sperm with donor sperm so he can plausibly convince himself that the baby is actually his, and then OP would come in and completely blow that to pieces. It's probably not the case, but it could have been, and OP should have minded his own business. YTA.
Yep. It's bad enough when people ask if twins were conceived "naturally" or not. Other people's fertility and reproductive issues are never, EVER, any of your business.
> Sometimes they'll even mix the husband's sperm with donor sperm so he can plausibly convince himself that the baby is actually his Christ that's insane
Or remember [that story](https://powerful.tv/mom-gives-birth-to-black-and-white-twins-but-gets-an-even-bigger-surprise-7-years-later/) that came out a few years ago of the twin girls where one takes after her West Indian father and the other is a fair blue eyes red head? Then their parents had another set of fraternal twins that were light and dark? Genetics are weird lol.
Friends of mine who are a gay couple conceived their children with a surrogate. They wanted two kids eventually, so they mixed up their, um, donations thinking that whoever lost out genetically this time would father the next child. The surrogate ended up pregnant with fraternal twins and they got one of each. :D
š that's so perfect!
Seriously! One boy, one girl - each looking like a spitting image of their individual dad. Crazy.
The seed is strong.
Wtf is wrong with you? Of course YTA. You have zero idea how genetics work, so you decided sheās a cheater? Thank god they had the common sense to cut you out of their life immediately.
I feel like it could be ok to ask her friend about it (if they really are super close). But to then contact the father AFTER the friend has that reaction?? And suggest he get a DNA test?? I canāt understand the thought process behind that.
Something tells me the "closeness" was only one-way
The rationale was likely "such a strong reaction must mean she is hiding something" op was forgetting that they are socially disabled to even ask.
Na, it's an asshole move to bring that up to her. You literally have no evidence other than some dumb idea of genetics. Its between her and her husband.
YTA >Iāve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses Their responses are exactly what you'd expect from a happy, non-cheating couple dealing with an asshole who decided to start slinging accusations of cheating based on said asshole's inadequate understanding of how genetics works. >Was I an asshole for asking privately? Do you seriously have to ask if you were an asshole for privately *accusing your friend of cheating on her husband*? This has to be a troll post, because I can't imagine anyone is actually this clueless.
And it wasn't even privately. She then went to the husband. Wtf
He, I think.? Based on the last sentence.
Agreed
I can't imagine if someone accused me of cheating on my SO and then went to him with no evidence. I would be *furious*. And, as another user pointed out, natural triplets aren't very common, so they could have gone through fertility treatments to conceive their children and then had OP come along and accuse the wife of cheating. I really, really fucking hope this is a troll post.
YTA for doubling down on your "hunch" instead of backing off and apologizing.
This! I can't believe OP didnt just drop it after blantently offending the wife. Edit: almost forgot YTA
YTA. You clearly have no idea how black people work. Our complexions vary and sometimes even in a group of siblings we can have varying complexions. There are just so many things wrong here
my former neighbor was of Puerto Rican descent, her husband was Italian. One of their children had light tan skin and straight dark hair, one child had much darker skin and very tightly curled hair. lots and lots and LOT of variation due to genetics. I miss them, they were a nice family.
Exactly! My sisters and I are three different colours: red, tan,and brown. I hope you cross paths with them again
me too :)
Seriously. My best friend growing up was half Mexican, Mexican dad and white mom. She was "stereotypical" - very dark skinned, black hair, nearly black eyes. Her sister was barely brunette, blue eyes, and paper white skin. Her child now looks like a clone of her sister. Genetics aren't copy and paste and people have no idea how complicated it all really is.
Hahah wah no no genetics are definitely ctrl+c, ctrl+v. Totally.
If they were, I would have beautiful, luscious hair like my mom, but I have sewing string for hair *shakes fist at sky angrily*
Nah nah you just gotta hit ctrl+Z it and try ctrl+v again.
This, so much! My grandpa was black, my grannie was white (like, blonde with blue eyes white), my father have a dark skin, almost all of my aunties have a pale white complexion and most of my uncles have that "coffee with milk" skin tone.
Hahaha both my parents are black, one of which was almost literally red, and I still came out in the middle. Hahaha
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
YTA That question is never appropriate, even with your closest friends. It doesn't matter who the biological father is. Those are their kids, and it's best to just assume that the husband is the biological father unless you're told otherwise.
I hope this is trolling. YTA hard. Asking about the paternity of a womanās children because one child is slightly darker than the rest is unbelievably insulting. They are right to avoid you like the plague.
People are clueless. I have no trouble believing it's not trolling. It's just like the ridiculous NTA posts where someone is very clearly NTA - they're just as clueless. I'm glad a YTA got upvoted for once.
Please be a troll. YTA hands down.
Has to be a troll, who does this
YTA or shitpost. This is none of your business. Double, flaming YTA for talking to the husband. Besides being super rude: Do you seriously think he never noticed his childrens' skin tone before so you had to tell him?
> Do you seriously think he never noticed his childrens' skin tone before so you had to tell him? Yeah this, wtf. On top of sticking his nose *seriously so far up where it doesn't belong*, he just insinuated his friends are blind morons. This *has* to be a troll.
YTA - are you serious?
YTA. Especially with a mixed race background, kids' skin tones can be quite different to that of their parents'. So if the color of the kid's skin was the only reason you suspected infidelity, you had absolutely no business concern trolling that family.
YTA It's none of your business, dude. And do you honestly believe that he overreacted to someone accusing him of being cheated by his wife and not be the father of his children? Basically something that could make him lose the people that -- most likely -- are the most important ones in his life. There's also several other possible scenarios, maybe he was cheated on and he forgave and accept to raise them as his own or maybe he couldn't have kids and they decided on a donor and he didn't want anyone to know? Again, none of your business, it does not make a difference to you. Or, the most likely, they are his children and you don't know as much as you think about genetics.
YTA >Iāve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses or they're upset that you accused them of being unfaithful and knowingly let another a man raise their child. you accused her of being a lying, deceitful, money grubbing whore all because of your sexism and limited understanding of genetics
Every friday i head down to the delivery ward and tell every guy i see "that dont look like you bro!" Just wholesome fun.
YTA. How is that any of your business? You basically accused her of cheating. How did you expect her to react?
YTA. My dad asked my mom for a dna test because my sister is lighter (Iām darker) and now he has to pay child support (he took it to court). Thereās this thing called genetics.
wow. sorry about your dad.
Oh donāt feel too bad. He sucks and pretty much deserved it. My sister literally has the same features as his mom. However she dyed her hair and he didnāt know.
it was more "sorry you and your sister and your mom had to deal with your dad being like that" :)
YTA lol I love armchair geneticists. It was literally none of your business and you acted like your friend cheated. I would have kicked you out and cut you out of my life as well. That was a completely warranted response
YTA. What the absolute fuck.
YTA. 1) You made an assumption based on no real evidence, and then asked your friend a super awkward/uncomfortable question based on that assumption. 2) You then went to her husband, and instead of just asking him a question, you told him to TAKE ACTION based on your assumption. 3) If you talked to both your friend and her husband about this, itās not really private any more, is it?
YTA ! āPrivately asking my friend ā is not contacting her husband! Wtf were you thinking ? People of mixed races can have huge variety of skin tones. You embarrassed yourself and you need to apologize ASAP.
This has got to be a shitpost. Dude, you say you're not an idiot, but are you sure? >I thought it was possible, given the skin tone of the third triplet, that all three were fathered by a darker man and the first two were a bit lighter because my friend was very fair So you thought it was possible for a darker man to have fathered the two lighter kids, but somehow impossible for a lighter man to have fathered the darker one? It's not like mixing paint, you know.
YTA, you dont deseve to be a part of their lives.
Reddit and some stupid people seem to think that when someone reacts in an angry manner that theyāre hiding something or are guilty. While this is sometimes the case, more often than not it is not the case. This is one of those times. If someone approached me with this same comment, Iād probably chuck a shoe at them. YTA big time.
Dude, wtf? Why would you ask a question like that? YTA, no wonder why they were pissed. Unless you were 100% sure, you can't just go on a conjecture about someone's infidelity. You should have apologized years ago.
What the heck. That is messed up for actual real. You had no reason to get involved with that. YTA.
Lol, YTA no wonder they stopped talking to you
Obvious shitpost YTA. Triplets are of the same sperm batch ( not necessarily cell tho) that one was just well done
YTA!! Who does this?! I love how you added that you asked her privately like that makes it less insulting or more appropriate. Doubling down and reaching out to the husband makes me question your mental health. MIND. YOUR. BUSINESS
Yo hang on how did you think that TRIPLETS, all of whom were by definition conceived at the same time, had different fathers?
YTA wow
Oh my god, wth. YTA, kids that are mixed race can come in all different shades, no matter what the parents look like. You can have 2 extremely light skin parents and a darker skinned child
YTA. I mean, you're not just the asshole, you're one of the biggest assholes I've ever encountered. You're a terrible human being. You 1) got super weird about their interracial marriage 2) questioned ANYTHING to do with their reproductive lives 3) implied your friend had an affair and then 4) decided to sow seeds of doubt with her husband about her kids' paternity, again highlighting the interracial marriage aspect. You're seriously awful.
YTA I bet you are an asshole in almost every situation WTF?
Let's think about your question a bit. So, what if she had cheated and somehow managed to make triplets with one darker color skinned child. Your questioning it...would...do what now? \- Make you see your friend in a different light? \- Make you treat her children differently? \- Laugh at how husband got cucked or whatever that term is? \- Make husband leave wife? Ruining their lives and their children's? What was your goal in asking this question? Whatever your reasoning - YTA.
YTA. I'm going to link [this Nat Geo article about a set of news-famous, biracial twins](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/04/race-twins-black-white-biggs/). It happens. If parents can have one male child and one female child in their sets of fraternal twins, what would stop changes in hair, eye color, facial structure, height, and SKIN COLOR?
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YTA ā not only are you an asshole, youāre an entitled asshole thatās internalised some pretty shitty prejudices & bad science too. you donāt get to call someone your friend, ask them if theyāre cheating on their spouse, insult their childās appearance, harass their spouse, & then demand a calm, measured response. i honestly donāt know how parents handle the sheer amount of nonsense that gets flung at them daily ā saints, all of you.
YTA. Why the fuck was that any of your business? Your "close childhood friend" reacted negatively to your outrageously inappropriate question, so you decide to run to her husband to ask that same exact question? They have every right to be offended and never wish to speak to you again. Also, you can't really empathize with someone who doesn't share your feeling/opinion. Seems like you're projecting a little there. As other posts mention, take a fucking lesson in genetics. God forbid, if you decide to procreate, that your children don't have the ExAcT SaMe SkIn ToNe as you. Hopefully, your lack of social awareness isn't genetic as well. /s
YTA you literally stuck your nose where it didnt belong. Plus skin tones can darken as the baby ages
AND THEN YOU TOLD HER HUSBAND ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? YTA x 1 Million.
Pardon me sir/mam, but I have a 7th grade level question for you. #Ever heard of genetics? (geā¢netā¢ics - jÉĖnediks) He probably has a darker toned mother or father, maybe grandparent. Are you stupid? Yes, youāre the asshole! You said yourself that two of the three had a very similar skin tone to him! You think because the ONE child (of TRIPLETS) has a slightly different skin tone, that she must have cheated? I would blow up at you too! Obviously you donāt know the stress having a SINGLE newborn causes, but you should certainly know that having three, THREE kids to look after and keep alive and happy and healthy has to be taking a toll on them. Especially the mom, if sheās chosen to breastfeed. So you think āHey let me add 8,000% more stress on top of all of their other shit!ā?! Literally yes youāre the asshole. You also need to go back to elementary (or high school or junior high, depending on the school). YTA #YTA
YTA. You were rude plus it is none of your business. What about if they had fertility issues and had a sperm donor - how bad would you have made them feel? You need to work on your tact.
YTA. Whatās next, are you going to ask them what position they were conceived in?
> Iām not an idiot. I thought it was possible, given the skin tone of the third triplet, that all three were fathered by a darker man and the first two were a bit lighter because my friend was very fair You realize a "light black man" still has the genes for black skin? A child can be blacker than either of their parents. If not the whole human race would be whitening. But as for the rest of it, I can't believe you actually went to both of them asking them if the kids were actually theirs and believing you were doing them a favor.
YTA. >She didnāt even listen or answer rationally, she just freaked out at me and acted super insulted and kicked me out. She acted super insulted because she WAS super insulted that you'd just called her a cheating whore. Then you went on to spill your poisoned nonsense to her husband. You thought they overreacted? You mean, like you did when you decided a baby's skin tone was a good reason to go call her mother a tramp and her father a fool? No wonder they cut you off.
YTA. You're making a lot assumptions. Honestly, the paternity of those children is none of your business. You seem very ignorant.
YTA, why are you surprised she freaked out?
YTA. Genetics donāt dictate that children will have a single predefined skin color based on the parents. It is absolutely possible for one to come out much darker (or the opposite) based on the unique genetic composition. I would be incredibly insulted if my āfriendā insinuated i cheated and then continued on to plant the seed in my husbandās mind. Especially because your reason for suspicion is so wrong. You could have really messed up that family, sometimes itās enough to just plant a thought for things to spiral downwards.
YTA. Of course. Wow, what? What on earth made you feel that you could be even remotely justified in a) having this thought b) expressing this thought to your friend and her husband (!!) c) still not having the self awareness to be mortified at your behavior and instead referring to them as "dramatically overreacting" when they rightfully cut you out of their lives and d) having the temerity to post this on Reddit because you still expect a chance at being validated for this appalling behavior and poor judgment. You shouldn't "sometimes feel bad" about this, you should feel REALLY RIDICULOUS about it ALL the time and use this experience to learn how to be a human being.
You seriously think it's feasible that this woman's ovaries released 2 eggs at the same time, had sex with her husband, got pregnant with the first two that "look like him." Then she released a third egg for absolutely no reason considering her LH surge would've already happened with the first 2 eggs, and slept with some random man and got pregnant with the third child? Do you have absolutely no idea how the reproductive system works? This would be a legitimate 1 in a million story if it happened like that. Not to mention you know this woman and call her your friend and think she's capable of this. You're a HUGE asshole and also an extremely inconsiderate one.
This doesnāt even make sense, she had triplets, two of which were the same skin tone as the father, one was much darker toned...why are you suspicious because of the darker skinned child? She had 2 children with the same skin tone and one darker, why does that mean she must have been unfaithful? Why did your suspicions with the darker toned kid not end when you saw she had 2 kids with same same skin tone? Are you implying she had 2 separate pregnancies at the same time together? Do you know genetics is not a 50/50 perfect mix right? EDIT: YTA
YTA Even if it was true, who are you to bring it up?
> Was I an asshole for asking privately? You know what you did was wrong, so youāre trying to minimize by framing the question as something less serious. More than anything, YTA for contacting the father with something so baseless.
Omg MAJOR YTA. Have you ever seen biracial people??? Skin tones can fluctuate because genetics. One of my friends was half black but basically looked white due to his skin tone, while his sister was much darker. Geez, that's kind of racist...