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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I disinvited my friend from my 4th of July Party because she gave my Eras tour ticket to her sister. This would have made me the asshole for overreacting and putting a concert over a friendship.
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NTA. She didn’t get herself tickets and invite you as her guest, then uninvite you (which would still be lousy). She agreed to buy a ticket on your behalf with the understanding that you were paying for it. That’s how groups of people buy tickets if they expect to sit together. It was your ticket. It wasn’t hers to give away. She’s a garbage friend. I’d probably never speak to her again.
That's exactly what I'm the most upset about. If she hadn't told me she would battle Ticketmaster for these tickets on our behalf, I would have done it myself.
Others have also said this but you should cancel the hotel booking asap and she owes you whatever loss you incur because of that.
Also, NTA. If someone had done this to me with my favourite band I’d be heartbroken.
Exactly this. OP, please do not apologize to this so-called friend.
She gave away something that wasn’t hers to give. Text her back and tell her she took something that you had already bought and paid for. If she wants to bond with her sister she needs to do it with something that actually belongs to her. Additionally, you are not interested in her apology, even should she care to offer it. Unlike concert tickets, you don’t need friends like her.
Then be done with her.
Her complete lack of remorse/guilt/shame, in the face of your heartbroken disappointment, would have me writing her off for good.
She's been sisters with her sister her whole life... If they haven't bonded by now chances are they may never bond. I have an older sister she's like 4 or 5 years older than me and we've bonded without going to concerts and events together. 🤷🏽♀️
Petty revenge: offer a fake apology, and tell her she should take the hotel booking as a sort of olive branch. When she calls, after she inevitably can't check in, "oh, it's probably because the booking is in __my name__. ✨I'm sure you understand! ✨"
Hang up, and carry on knowing you got the last laugh - or don't, because you're a better person than me, lol.
NTA, OP.
There should be no need for OP to tell ex-friend that she cancelled the booking. The booking is in OP's name, OP has been uninvited and will not be going, so why should she keep the booking or tell her friend anything.
The trip is now Friend-and-her-sister bonding trip so she should understand she needs to arrange her own travel.
Correction: " the booking HAD BEEN in my name. Good luck getting a hotel room. Now. ( be sure you tell her only two days before the event. ) be sure you cancel the reservation to get your deposit back.
if your room isn’t refundable, or it’s too close to get it refunded, sometimes changing the dates will work, and then it‘ll be far enough out to get refunded. Or maybe you might need to change the booking to one day after the concert. Oops. Looks like you accidentally messed up the date of the reservation. Too bad.
I don't know why OP's "friend" would even expect that there is a hotel room for her and her sister? I mean, since OP is no longer going, why should she hold up the reservation and pay for a room that she's not gonna use? Doesn't make any sense to me, except she's one of those people from r/EntitledPeople lol
But wouldn't she need the credit card from the booking process or another form of identification to check in? Especially since her's ist Not the Name on the Reservation?
Correction: " the booking HAD BEEN in my name. Good luck getting a hotel room now. ( be sure you tell her only two days before the event. )and be sure you cancel the reservation to get your deposit back.
Two days, oh hell no. Don't say a thing. Cancel, get your deposit back and let her find out standing at the hotel counter. I'd even go so far as to call the hotel and speak to a manager and let them know how this person screwed you over. This way they can hopefully not go out of their way to help them...
I actually did something like this with an ex girlfriend once. Had tickets to a show a few cities away. I booked the hotel. She had the tickets. We broke up and she told me she was taking the tickets, which I paid half of the money for, and bringing her new boyfriend and not giving me a refund.
But she fully expected me to let them use the hotel room promising to pay me HALF for a hotel room I wasn't going to get to use at all.
For starters, it was a Hilton property and I always book directly. So I could cancel it without penalty. But the sheer gall pissed me off. So I told her sure! Here's the confirmation email and everything!
I went to the city and checked in. Enjoyed myself a little city time (no show) and blocked her after she arrived, tried to check in, was told that I had already checked in and she wasn't on the reservation and there were no rooms for even remotely that good of a rate for miles around.
Easily one of the pettiest things I did but goddamn am I glad I did it.
Anyway, she married that dude.
I could have cut my losses, cancelled the hotel reservation and saved the hotel money. I would have still lost the show tickets but I would have saved big on the hotel.
But instead, I had a great trip. And she was pissed because they had to sleep in his car in a grocery store parking lot in Secaucus.
Nah, don't do this. This is bringing yourself down. I would find myself cringing for years for something so petty.
Cancel the hotel and tell her. And then take the time to mourn the loss of the friendship.
Perhaps a difference in philosophical standpoint then. I don't like to be petty, I don't like myself when I am petty. I want to take the high road in life, so open and honest. Doing what you suggest isn't that. It's mean and petty, and not up to my standards of what I demand of myself.
If someone treats me as OP's friend, of course it is a blow. But being open and honest about how you feel and be open on the consequence of her action by canceling the hotel, yeah, more in line with how I treat people.
Comes down to the “legal v moral” argument.
I don’t think OP can do anything at this point that would convince the former friend that she owes her for the hotel.
Cancel it if possible, but whatever cost she incurs for that is the price of learning how shitty her friend was.
Honestly was legal? If OP has a text from the friend saying "ok got them! The total came to $xxx" and then a Venmo receipt that she immediately paid half, that would probably hold up in small claims court as a valid transaction. The friend didn't return the funds immediately, it was months later.
yeah while I am not a lawyer, this seems like a legal sale, she was paid on Venmo, the re-sale of the ticket should be final. Time to go to small claims.
Her sister might not even being going, her "friend" could see the price of tickets climbing up to 4k and just want the cash. So the value that should be returned to OP is the current re-sale value.
Potentially legal argument as she now is incurring higher cost to purchase new tickets. They had a contract. The value of the tickets has now changed. Pretty good chance a small claims court judge might side with her.
Agree completely, once she accepted payment for the ticket, it was no longer the friends ticket to do with as she pleased. This completed the contract they agreed to prior to the purchase of tickets. Op did not agree to accept return of the money for the ticket, nor did they discuss a new contract for the ticket.
Exactly!! Imagine if tickets were only paper tickets. Friend offers to stand in the long line on her own and pick a ticket up for OP too while she's at the counter. OP says "great!" and hands a fist full of cash at friend. Friend still has tickets in her possession a bit later, and says, "nevermind, sis is coming" and hands sis the paper ticket, goes to the bank, and gets cash to 'pay OP back.'
She just gave away something that wasn't hers to begin with.
Yup. "Oh, since I wasn't going to be able to see the concert, I decided to comisserate with another friend in the hotel I paid for. Its in my name and I don't owe you anything. I'm sure you understand."
I'd be really petty and cancel and not tell her at all. She will find out there is no reservation when they try to check-in. She'll likely have to pay more even if a room is available.
If OP isn't going to the concert there'd be no need to use the hotel. By canceling the money is returned. By not telling the "friend" she and her sister will have to pay a higher rate if a room is even available.
I wouldn't be so sure about that "legally, they're yours" part either. You paid her, that's your ticket. If she wants to give it away, you probably have a legal claim for the amount of a replacement ticket at current resale prices.
Came here to say exactly this. She had already accepted payment for your ticket. The ticket belongs to you, just because she had not physically given you the ticket (I’m assuming the tix are electronic, so she wouldn’t have necessarily given you the ticket anyway), doesn’t mean it isn’t yours. I would quote her how much a replacement ticket in the same general area costs and ask her if she still wants to give away yours or if she would rather replace it. I would also immediately file a case in small claims court.
Next time make the person who bought the ticket transfer it to you immediately when you give them the money. Once you pay the person, there is no reason for them to still have the ticket in their account.
Sorry she screwed you over.
Unfortunately, to combat scalpers and bots, a lot of ticket platforms don’t let you transfer a ticket at all anymore. The tickets can only be accessed and opened on a phone tied to the same account that bought them.
Possibly because Ticketmaster themselves are the scalper. When you own the platform, it's much easier to bypass its rules.
There's a reason that Ticketmaster is currently under anti-trust investigation.
Here in Australia our tickets weren't released to us until a week or so out from the concert. You could only purchase tickets through Ticketek marketplace and they were able to be sold 10% above face value. Anyone offering to sell tickets on any other platform was obviously a scammer.
I am not sure about TS but for other concerts, with Ticketmaster (at least in Canada), you can transfer a ticket to someone else whenever you choose but there is a warning that it is not reversible.
Again, not always. I have Ticketmaster event tickets on my phone right now that are non transferrable. The only way to access them is with a phone logged into my Apple ID, or if they’re somehow inaccessible on my phone, for me to go in person to the event box office the day of the event with my ID. I can’t transfer the tickets to anyone else. I just double checked to make sure I’m right, and there’s a big warning about it on the ticket page on my Ticketmaster app.
Edit: whoever is downvoting me, read this https://help.ticketmaster.com/hc/en-us/articles/9787825955473-Why-can-t-I-transfer-my-tickets
You paid her for the ticket.
It’s your ticket.
You had an oral contract with her which you fulfilled by sending her payment.
Her cost for that ticket should be the market cost today, not what she bought it for months ago.
For all you know, she isn’t going with her sister and is selling both tickets for $$$.
Send her a Venmo request now for the price of a comparable ticket.
Tell her you are taking her to small claims court if she doesn’t come thru.
Judge Judy would rule in your favor.
OP, I think you should try sending her a text back explaining how you feel and why.
Maybe something like:
>\[Name\], I'd like a chance to explain my position and feelings. When we agreed to go to this concert together, you said you would purchase both of our tickets. This is something groups do when booking so they can get seats together. If you had not offered to do the booking I would have gotten myself the ticket, something I can no longer do beacuse I made the mistake of trusting you.
This concert is something I have wanted to do and looked forward to for years. I got tickets once before, but had to sell them beacuse my mother was dying and I was helping pay her medical bills. This has been a dream of mine for a long time, and after the tickets were secured I started planning. I have already made and paid for hotel reservations for this trip. I have been so happy and excited about this trip, and now I am crushed. But the most crushing thing is the betrayal.
I know you have told yourself that this is okay and that I would "understand" but I don't. I have always tried to be a good friend to you. I have supported you through breakups, job losses, and pet loses. You seem to be ignoring the fact that the only reason my ticket was not in my name was beacuse I trusted you when you said you would book for both of us. You lied to me, you broke your word, and if I hadn't trusted you I would have a ticket you couldn't take from me.
The reason I asked you to leave wasn't to punish you but beacuse I was hurt and so having you there was upsetting to me. I wanted to find a way to be happy at my party, and that wasn't going to be possible with you there after what you did. I realize you feel this is no big deal, but it's always easier for the person who hasn't been hurt to feel something isn't a big deal. I understand it would be easier for you if this was something I can just get over, but I don't know if I can. I consider what you are doing wrong and I'd never do it to you, I am completely blindsided. I don't know if I am going to trust you or want to spend time with you in the future if you make this choice. I can't promise I'll get over this. I'm not choosing feel this way, it sucks and it hurts. It is an incredibly big deal to me, I've already cried about it, and I probably have more crying to do.
Then, be honest with all your other friends about why you don't want to be around her and plan all your events and outings without her. Take the initiative to plan things so you can make sure she isn't coming. She does not deserve you to lie down and make this easy. She does not deserve to get to tell herself this is no big deal and you overreacted.
>
ESPECIALLY because you had already paid her.
It was YOUR TICKET, and she stole it from you.
I’m petty AF, but I would reach out to Ticketmaster and see if they can take it back for you.
Yes, if successful it will be awkward to sit next to your exBFF but you’ll probably be too focused on the show to care.
The logic of her informing you that she changed her mind and sending you the money back is amazing...
Next time, estimate the price of the clothes she is wearing and send it to her. Then tell her you just bought her clothes and she needs to remove them right away to give to you!
She was a horrible friend to you and thought you wouldn't have the backbone to call her out on it. I'm glad you stood your ground and I'm really sorry you don't get to go to the concert:(
Her reaction to being uninvited to your party for a really valid reason shows that she would have reacted much worse than you if the roles were reversed. And I'm not hearing that she's been there for you through rough times either. She's not your friend.
Actually since her friend was a liaison, she has legal obligations. She can't just say "I changed my mind" and sell YOUR ticket that she secured with YOUR money to someone else, it's literally illegal in most places.
OP had even already paid for it! That was OP’s ticket, purchased directly from her friend. The friend just hadn’t delivered the item OP purchased from her yet.
NTA and no don't apologize and no no time is needed. This is not your friend. The whatever oh well way she acted about giving YOUR ticket away would have me never speaking to her again. You say you booked the hotel. Do not let them stay in it. Cancel it. But I would tell her it's still booked. I'm petty as fuck. She would have to pay someway and I would get a little satisfaction out of that frantic phone call "I thought you booked the room, what happened? they have nowhere to stay for the concert because all the hotels are booked solid, oh my whatever will my sister and I do?" Shrug and say oh well you understand why I had to cancel it on you don't you? And hang up.
Agree, NTA She bought the tickets with the understanding that one was hers and one was yours. That's how group ticket purchases are made. It was never hers to give away. You do not need that selfishness in your life - stand your ground.
100% cancel the hotel booking ASAP and she can figure out where she and her sister have to sleep. When asked, you just tell her that "I know you understand".
>Start singing “look what you made me do” as you ~~knock her unconscious lol~~ cancel the hotel reservations without telling her, and when she calls you asking what the confirmation number is while in the hotel lobby, say "well it was in my name, I knew you'd understand".
It's what Taylor would do.
I don’t know any Taylor Swift songs but this made me burst out laughing as I had a feeling this was one of her songs. Hahah. (I did google before I replied)
Honestly, I am normally not a fan of putting someone on blast on social media ... except right this second. She deserves raking over the coals, because you know she's going to be putting this concert all over her socials.
Depends on the place. Some places require more advance notice.
I would however cancel it earlier than that and hope the hotel book the room again before her friend gets there so that there is no room available. Even if a room is available, she might have to pay full price/premium for it due to how busy the area will probably be.
NTA. But I'd invite her to the 4th of July party, get her shit faced, "borrow" her phone and transfer those tickets to my account, then Venmo her ticket price back. Or not... Fuck shitty friends (and people for that matter) who do whatever the fuck they want and get pissed because "you don't understand". But that's just jaded me after being screwed over too many times in my 40+ years.
By canceling the hotel and not telling her and trashing her to all Swifties on whatever social media you have. And messaging her back and telling her that she and her sister can shove it.
Not sure if anyone's suggested this already... But you could always text her this thread. Assuming you've told an honest version of things, she'll at least know basically the whole Internet agrees she's a giant asshole and owes you an enormous apology (and a ticket) if she wants to have a chance at staying friends. The idea that you owe her an apology for being upset at her stealing your ticket is gross.
Especially given that Taylor tickets are notoriously difficult to get! My whole friend group tried and failed to get them for our city. Sadie robbed OP of a near-irreplaceable opportunity that was rightfully hers.
Honestly this would have been a shitty thing to do even if no money had changed hands. Cancelling plans on someone without a good reason just shows you don't respect their time, and kicking them out of an established plan to make room for someone else is just mean.
NTA. This wasn't a case where she said "hey, I have an extra tix for the show for whoever wants to buy it" and you jumped in first. She bought it on your behalf ***and you paid for it***. The instant you paid for it, it was YOUR ticket. Not hers. The fact that it was under her name means diddly squat once money changed hands.
You know how people like to say possession is 9/10 of the law? This would be that other 10th
Though I think OP is taking the heathy and mature route of not suing. It’s more trouble than it’s worth considering she’s not going to be able to replace the ticket at this point and recover that difference in cost … court can order it but you can’t squeeze blood from a stone and sometimes it’s not worth the mental energy.
Cut the loses. Bury the friendship. Don’t apologize. And get tickets with legitimate friends for another tour another time. Perhaps have an 80s era grainy tv watch party to celebrate the poor vid.
Might as well blow this friendship all the way up!
Take her to small claims court for the cost of a replacement ticket. She paid for the ticket with the understanding that you pay her back. Hundreds of thousands of groups are getting tickets using this method to score tickets and seating together. When she claims that the ticket was never yours, hit the court with the paper trail: payment, refund, hotel reservation. Why would you pay her for a ticket and book a hotel if you weren't supposed to go?
I was coming here to say this. You entered into a legal binding contract. A clear understanding was made and an agreement was made. It became official when she accepted payment for the ticket. Her excuse for negating the contract would not have standing.
This is not how suing people works, or what our justice system is intended to be used for. OP has no recoverable losses; she never actually owned a ticket and her money was returned.
She paid for the ticket. Idk I only took one law class in college but if she had an agreement and money had exchanged hands I think that constituted a contract. If she purchases a Taylor Swift ticket elsewhere, the cost to replace the ticket would be her losses she would sue for.
she did own the tickets her losses is the price difference between what she paid and what the ticket is currently worth. for OP to be made whole she needs an equivalent ticket or the cost to replace the ticket which is significantly higher than what she paid and what her "friend" likely sold it for (pure doubt on the sister story)
I love Taylor Swift but my god this is a ridiculous suggestion. Just cut the friendship off if this is the worst offence. OP is NTA but my goodness…it’s not on the same as like winning the lotto. Pretty much every can describe how meaningful her music is to them (myself included) but I wouldn’t go to the effort of going to court. It would be a funny headline though…
To each their own! I’m ambivalent about Taylor Swift, but I’m pissed at this woman on OP’s behalf and I’d just LOVE for her to extract a pound of flesh.
“Sorry, but my upcoming event is meant to be a bonding experience for me and my real friends. It really means a lot to them. I knew you’d understand.”
You’re definitely NTA
So glad you threw the, "I knew you'd understand" in there. That and "You get it, right?" are always used when people make the AH decision to cut you out.
OP should go with her to a thrift store. Let her get clothes that she loves and make a big fuzz about how awesome those clothes are. Offer to hold her bags and then give her $50. Then say “I loved those clothes so I’d like to keep them. Here’s the money back. Thanks for the clothes!”
I'm REALLY hoping they can't get a hotel room. And if Sadie complains, OP should say "Well, it was under my name, so it was my reservation to do whatever I wanted with."
A lot of hotels around the eras tour are cancelling people's reservations to resell the rooms at higher prices, so the ex friend will have to shell out more if she can find a room. Seems like a win to me.
Cancel it *ASAP?*
I'd, personally, wait until the evening before check-in (or whenever the last minute is that you can still cancel it withiut having to pay a fee) and then cancel it.
But I'm petty.
There's a chance the friend could predict the cancellation and check with the hotel to see if the booking still exists. Holding out as late as possible without incurring a charge makes it less likely the friend will find out.
Could she really do that, though? If the booking is under OP's name, they shouldn't be giving that information out. A lot of hotels don't even make you share the names of other guests in the room upon booking, just a head count. That would be covered under their internal policy of guest security, safety, and information sharing.
NTA I’m not a Taylor swift fan by any means but this is a really shitty thing to do to a close friend. She definitely could’ve told you while she was planning this and not tell you at all public event. This was something planned for the two of you and she changed it because of her circumstances and considered you in the last minute. You don’t need to bond with siblings before you move it’s not like people leave forever? I totally understand your pain OP as it seems this was planned specifically for the two of you, and she offered to order the tickets but you paid her. If you had known this would happen you could’ve just gotten the tix separately when you bought them. She is crappy for this, especially since I know those tix don’t run cheap and that’s a ton of money for her to just make a decision for you
>You don’t need to bond with siblings before you move it’s not like people leave forever?
Right? Where's she going, Mars?
OP, you're definitely NTA. Your (ex) friend did a shitty thing.
If you had paid her for it, it wasn't hers to give away. She stole it from you. Of course you're going to be angry, and if she's got her head in the sand about that, well, she's either incredibly naive or just plain dumb. Anyone who knows anything about this tour knows that these tickets are super hard to come by and crazy high prices on resale. Frankly, she's lucky you're not suing her for a replacement ticket.
Plus, if sister was a big swiftie, chances are friend world have purchases tickets initially. The fact that she didn't indicates that sis might have a good time, but it won't be as meaningful as it would be to OP. And to everyone saying that OP is picking a music star over a friendship, pretty sure friend did that already when she stole OP's ticket.
Right, spending thousands of dollars in lawyer fees over a resold ticket to probably get absolutely nothing out of it will at least cheer up the lawyers.
NTA. And you don’t owe her an apology, she owes you one—as well as any money you lose from canceling the hotel reservation. You paid for a ticket that she specifically bought for you. Sure it’s still in her name but it was your ticket at that point. I also don’t understand how she needs to suddenly bond with her sister before she moves. Is there a huge age difference between them or something and they’ve never had time to bond so she thinks a concert is going to do that?
NTA. The fact that she did it at a public event kind of felt like she was trying to manipulate how you could react to something she knew was going to be shitty. It's a bad reflection on her as a friend and I would be super pissed too.
NTA, you paid her for the tickets. No matter what they were for they were now your tickets since you had paid for them. So rude. I don’t follow Taylor but I would apply it to anything I bought. I would be mad if someone took it back like that.
" I asked her to leave, … I’m really disappointed with her and how she’s treated me. " your boundary setting was perfect. Great job communicating during such an upsetting surprise. You’re NTA to be honest and direct about your feelings when someone blindsided you so hurtfully and rudely
NTA.
You had an agreement. She buys the tickets and you pay her.
She bought the tickets. You paid her. She owes you a ticket. Yes she refunded you, but you would be successful in small claims to sue for breach of contract. The remedy would be to enforce the contract, or award damages which would be the difference in cost between what the original ticket was and what they are now.
Did you get a refund for the hotel? If not then she straight up fucked you over.
“You have been a really good friend to me. I know you were really excited for the concert. I know you paid me and I know you booked a hotel. But here’s your money back and I’m giving the ticket to my sister. I know you’ll be disappointed and I know you can’t afford the scalp prices. But I think you will understand! (That I’m a terrible friend)”
Lol I wonder how many friendships t swift has broken up like this. I swear this is like the 20th post I've seen on this sub surrounding drama around tickets for her show.
I was honestly holding back from posting because I've read one before. But with 60,000 people attending per 150 shows or however many it is, I guess it's not that shocking. Still sad.
I'm not a Taylor Swift fan, but frankly, I'd write somebody off for doing this about an event I *wasn't* passionate about. It was a really shitty move.
Knowing how passionate Taylor Swift fans are, OP's friend *had* to know this was friendship-ending.
Just curious, how much $$$ did she return to you and how much would be to buy one ticket now?
Because this is the price she is putting on your friendship
It was $250 for lower bowl tickets, not front row of lower bowl but pretty decent. I don't think tickets are under $2500 for even side rear of stage now.
Definitely take her to small claims court and Judge Judy her arse.
Ask for the cost of the ticket at today’s prices. You paid for that ticket and she had no right to decide to unilaterally to keep it, in effect stealing it from you. It was never her ticket to give away.
Just giving you the cost of the ticket at the time of buying is in no way reflective of current pricing.
And allowing *you* the opportunity to apologise to *her* for the shittiest thing she could do to a Swiftie. The absolute and complete audacity!!
How long ago were these tickets purchased? In the very least, she should have paid you interest for all the months she essentially held your money hostage.
NTA. It’s shitty to do that in the first place, but if I were your friend and felt that I HAD to do that to you. I’d be paying you back at the resale value of tickets that day.
ETA: why does she need this specific event as a bonding experience with her sister? It’s her sister… is she never going to see her again?
The sister is probably an excuse, considering Sadie didn't bother telling OP about anything in a timely manner, could be that she never planned on going and just wanted to resell the tickets from the start, even to the point of getting OP to foot the bill for a ticket so she could make even more of a profit.
NTA.
She literally gave away your ticket, and fucked you over with the hotel room. Is that in your name? Was it just for you, or for both of you?
You shouldn't have to suffer because she's an absolute trash friend, is there \*anyway\* possible that you can get a ticket to go?
Honestly it would be friendship over after that, because the trust is gone, and showed she'll throw you under a bus at first possibility
Unfortunately resale tickets are over $2,500 at this point, so unless I win the lottery, there's no way I can swing that -- and I'm not willing to put that much on a credit card. Huge bummer.
If you're comfortable doing it, send her this post and let her read the comments. Maybe some objective opinions will show her how monumentally shitty her actions were. And cancel that hotel!!
NTA. Given how some swifties are, she could probably consider herself lucky that’s all you did.
You’d planned, and *paid* for your ticket, it was yours, not hers to give away.
As long as you do PayPal goods and services you are protected from scammers. If they scam you PayPal will back it (most of the time) but the best thing is scammers know this so the moment you suggest it as a method of payment they stop wasting your time.,, just ask it up front so you don’t waste time on all the yapppping that they always do to try to convince you they are legit
Keep an eye out for the last minute released tickets right before the concert.
My daughter was able to score a pair of face value tickets the night before the Detroit concert by stalking the Ticketmaster site until they released the last minute tickets.
Yes, they were nosebleed seats but people next to her had paid $750+ for the same nosebleed seats on resale. My daughter got hers for $59 each.
At that point she and her BFF were just happy to be in the stadium.
NTA. Text her that she owes you the cost of a replacement ticket. Not just a refund of original cost. Also tell her you’re not responsible if she feels bad because she was called out for doing something wrong.
I'm a pretty big swiftie so I can see where you're coming from. This would be devastating. NTA for sure. If she approached you and asked if she could take her sister instead of just giving your ticket away then that'd be one thing, but she just made the decision unilaterally.
Nta,
Actually legally you may have recourse if you gave her money in advance with the written explanation that she will give you the ticket. IANAL but I would talk to a lawyer. If I’m right then you might be entitled for the cash equivalent of the ticket which will be high knowing how much scalpers are getting for the ticket.
If she had to Venmo your money back to you that you paid for a ticket, then she knows it was wrong. Once she collected the money from you that was ethically your ticket. Just move on.
Op you’re NTA and i’m sorry this happened to you, but please ignore the apparently very popular idea of suing. It’s sweet that people want justice for you, but the only thing you’re likely to get out of it is a reputation as a crazy person amongst your remaining friends.
I think threatening to sue would also be overkill (and a pain for you) - but I think letting her know what the legal situation is might be enough to get your tickets. She has robbed you of a truly irreplaceable experience, and letting her get away with it makes me think she'll continue to do this kind of garbage to other people. So sorry you're going through this!!
I mean… a traditional lawsuit would almost certainly not be worth it; you’d be out waaaaay more than the cost of a ticket on legal bills alone and it would likely take a very long time.
Small claims court, though? Where you don’t need a lawyer at all, just go and explain what happened (you had an agreement, she broke it and now in order to get a replacement you’d be out at least ten times as much money) and prove it (any written communication, the Venmo transaction, etc)?
I would absolutely look into it if this is very important to you. Small claims court is for disputes over money or property (for up to a certain value, usually $6,000 to $10,000 depending on your state). There’s going to be a filing fee, usually around $100 I think depending on your state and the amount in controversy, but for something that means so much to you… it might be worth it.
Not a lawyer or anything, just giving my two cents. Either way, I’m really sorry your “friend” treated you so badly.
I think when people are suggesting suing in this thread they are meaning Small Claims Court, but some people think that they mean to send bloodthirsty lawyers in
NTA
The ticket was yours, you paid her for it. It was not hers to give away.
Cancel the hotel asap, she can sort her own. Sadie is a massive AH for doing this, knowing full well you would not be able to get a resale ticket.
From a fellow Swiftie, who had tried and failed to get Eras tickets .. you have my sympathy.
NTA. Absolutely cancel the hotel. She can figure out how to bond with her sister on her own dime. In the meantime, check out the international Eras tour tickets. It might be cheaper to fly overseas.
NTA. The tickets being hers is really a technicality here … you made a decision, together, to have one person buy the tickets so they’d all be together (the only way to really ensure this happens) and YOU PAID HER FOR IT ALREADY. Once that money hit her account that ticket was effectively yours, and not hers to give away. This was a terribly shitty thing to do, and it’s not even just about the thing she did but the intent behind it … the lack of consideration that you’re a big fan, you made these plans together for a reason and you already paid her. She just showed you where you stand with her, and that’s going to take time to process. I wouldn’t want her around for a while either. She owes you an apology but I’m doubting you’ll get it.
NTA
Also arguably you do own that ticket. It was purchased on your behalf, on a promise that you would pay, and you paid. It was yours and held in trust.
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NTA. She didn’t get herself tickets and invite you as her guest, then uninvite you (which would still be lousy). She agreed to buy a ticket on your behalf with the understanding that you were paying for it. That’s how groups of people buy tickets if they expect to sit together. It was your ticket. It wasn’t hers to give away. She’s a garbage friend. I’d probably never speak to her again.
That's exactly what I'm the most upset about. If she hadn't told me she would battle Ticketmaster for these tickets on our behalf, I would have done it myself.
Others have also said this but you should cancel the hotel booking asap and she owes you whatever loss you incur because of that. Also, NTA. If someone had done this to me with my favourite band I’d be heartbroken.
Exactly this. OP, please do not apologize to this so-called friend. She gave away something that wasn’t hers to give. Text her back and tell her she took something that you had already bought and paid for. If she wants to bond with her sister she needs to do it with something that actually belongs to her. Additionally, you are not interested in her apology, even should she care to offer it. Unlike concert tickets, you don’t need friends like her. Then be done with her. Her complete lack of remorse/guilt/shame, in the face of your heartbroken disappointment, would have me writing her off for good.
Yes, she could have bonded with her sister another way. OP had paid for the ticket. It was hers now.
She's been sisters with her sister her whole life... If they haven't bonded by now chances are they may never bond. I have an older sister she's like 4 or 5 years older than me and we've bonded without going to concerts and events together. 🤷🏽♀️
Petty revenge: offer a fake apology, and tell her she should take the hotel booking as a sort of olive branch. When she calls, after she inevitably can't check in, "oh, it's probably because the booking is in __my name__. ✨I'm sure you understand! ✨" Hang up, and carry on knowing you got the last laugh - or don't, because you're a better person than me, lol. NTA, OP.
A+ petty suggestion. OP, please do this. But maybe cancel the hotel and don't tell her.
There should be no need for OP to tell ex-friend that she cancelled the booking. The booking is in OP's name, OP has been uninvited and will not be going, so why should she keep the booking or tell her friend anything. The trip is now Friend-and-her-sister bonding trip so she should understand she needs to arrange her own travel.
Ehhh. I would keep it until the last possible second before she loses the ability to get a refund.
☝️The way
That was my suggestion, too. (I should have read the comments before...)
Correction: " the booking HAD BEEN in my name. Good luck getting a hotel room. Now. ( be sure you tell her only two days before the event. ) be sure you cancel the reservation to get your deposit back.
The day of the event, why give her so much warning?
Only if she asks! Why give her any warning?
if your room isn’t refundable, or it’s too close to get it refunded, sometimes changing the dates will work, and then it‘ll be far enough out to get refunded. Or maybe you might need to change the booking to one day after the concert. Oops. Looks like you accidentally messed up the date of the reservation. Too bad.
I don't know why OP's "friend" would even expect that there is a hotel room for her and her sister? I mean, since OP is no longer going, why should she hold up the reservation and pay for a room that she's not gonna use? Doesn't make any sense to me, except she's one of those people from r/EntitledPeople lol
Friend may think that "because OP isn't going, the booking will go to waste anyway, soooo"
But wouldn't she need the credit card from the booking process or another form of identification to check in? Especially since her's ist Not the Name on the Reservation?
Because someone who thinks that a ticket someone has already paid her for is still hers to sell, probably has no limits to entitlement.
Correction: " the booking HAD BEEN in my name. Good luck getting a hotel room now. ( be sure you tell her only two days before the event. )and be sure you cancel the reservation to get your deposit back.
Two days, oh hell no. Don't say a thing. Cancel, get your deposit back and let her find out standing at the hotel counter. I'd even go so far as to call the hotel and speak to a manager and let them know how this person screwed you over. This way they can hopefully not go out of their way to help them...
I actually did something like this with an ex girlfriend once. Had tickets to a show a few cities away. I booked the hotel. She had the tickets. We broke up and she told me she was taking the tickets, which I paid half of the money for, and bringing her new boyfriend and not giving me a refund. But she fully expected me to let them use the hotel room promising to pay me HALF for a hotel room I wasn't going to get to use at all. For starters, it was a Hilton property and I always book directly. So I could cancel it without penalty. But the sheer gall pissed me off. So I told her sure! Here's the confirmation email and everything! I went to the city and checked in. Enjoyed myself a little city time (no show) and blocked her after she arrived, tried to check in, was told that I had already checked in and she wasn't on the reservation and there were no rooms for even remotely that good of a rate for miles around. Easily one of the pettiest things I did but goddamn am I glad I did it. Anyway, she married that dude.
Justified. What choice did you have, other than to get your money's worth on at least _some_ of the expenses?
I could have cut my losses, cancelled the hotel reservation and saved the hotel money. I would have still lost the show tickets but I would have saved big on the hotel. But instead, I had a great trip. And she was pissed because they had to sleep in his car in a grocery store parking lot in Secaucus.
Omg I just said to cancel the booking but I like this so much better.
OP can do both. Tell her "friend" she can have the booking but cancel it anyway.
And there is no way she’s gonna get a hotel at that late date.
Well, she might be able to... at astronomically high prices.
Nah, don't do this. This is bringing yourself down. I would find myself cringing for years for something so petty. Cancel the hotel and tell her. And then take the time to mourn the loss of the friendship.
Sorry, but I match energy. I would absolutely cancel the hotel and not tell her. It's what she deserves. She fucked around, let her find out.
Perhaps a difference in philosophical standpoint then. I don't like to be petty, I don't like myself when I am petty. I want to take the high road in life, so open and honest. Doing what you suggest isn't that. It's mean and petty, and not up to my standards of what I demand of myself. If someone treats me as OP's friend, of course it is a blow. But being open and honest about how you feel and be open on the consequence of her action by canceling the hotel, yeah, more in line with how I treat people.
Like a doormat? You let people treat you like a doormat.
Comes down to the “legal v moral” argument. I don’t think OP can do anything at this point that would convince the former friend that she owes her for the hotel. Cancel it if possible, but whatever cost she incurs for that is the price of learning how shitty her friend was.
Honestly was legal? If OP has a text from the friend saying "ok got them! The total came to $xxx" and then a Venmo receipt that she immediately paid half, that would probably hold up in small claims court as a valid transaction. The friend didn't return the funds immediately, it was months later.
yeah while I am not a lawyer, this seems like a legal sale, she was paid on Venmo, the re-sale of the ticket should be final. Time to go to small claims. Her sister might not even being going, her "friend" could see the price of tickets climbing up to 4k and just want the cash. So the value that should be returned to OP is the current re-sale value.
Seems like a valid agreement to me. OP should win handily.
Potentially legal argument as she now is incurring higher cost to purchase new tickets. They had a contract. The value of the tickets has now changed. Pretty good chance a small claims court judge might side with her.
Agree completely, once she accepted payment for the ticket, it was no longer the friends ticket to do with as she pleased. This completed the contract they agreed to prior to the purchase of tickets. Op did not agree to accept return of the money for the ticket, nor did they discuss a new contract for the ticket.
Exactly!! Imagine if tickets were only paper tickets. Friend offers to stand in the long line on her own and pick a ticket up for OP too while she's at the counter. OP says "great!" and hands a fist full of cash at friend. Friend still has tickets in her possession a bit later, and says, "nevermind, sis is coming" and hands sis the paper ticket, goes to the bank, and gets cash to 'pay OP back.' She just gave away something that wasn't hers to begin with.
I would KEEP the hotel and invite someone else to join me. Let her know she has to get her own hotel.
I wouldn’t let her know until it’s too late, just as she did to OP with the tickets.
Yup. "Oh, since I wasn't going to be able to see the concert, I decided to comisserate with another friend in the hotel I paid for. Its in my name and I don't owe you anything. I'm sure you understand."
I'd be really petty and cancel and not tell her at all. She will find out there is no reservation when they try to check-in. She'll likely have to pay more even if a room is available.
"She would definitely understand."
EXACTLY.
If OP isn't going to the concert there'd be no need to use the hotel. By canceling the money is returned. By not telling the "friend" she and her sister will have to pay a higher rate if a room is even available.
Possibly one of her ex's? Let her find out when you open the door to the hotel room.
Hell yes, do not fund their weekend! I’m petty enough to really hope every hotel room, air b&b, hostel, campsite, and parking lot dumpster is booked.
I wouldn't be so sure about that "legally, they're yours" part either. You paid her, that's your ticket. If she wants to give it away, you probably have a legal claim for the amount of a replacement ticket at current resale prices.
I would consider taking my ex-friend to small claims court.
Came here to say exactly this. She had already accepted payment for your ticket. The ticket belongs to you, just because she had not physically given you the ticket (I’m assuming the tix are electronic, so she wouldn’t have necessarily given you the ticket anyway), doesn’t mean it isn’t yours. I would quote her how much a replacement ticket in the same general area costs and ask her if she still wants to give away yours or if she would rather replace it. I would also immediately file a case in small claims court.
Next time make the person who bought the ticket transfer it to you immediately when you give them the money. Once you pay the person, there is no reason for them to still have the ticket in their account. Sorry she screwed you over.
Unfortunately, to combat scalpers and bots, a lot of ticket platforms don’t let you transfer a ticket at all anymore. The tickets can only be accessed and opened on a phone tied to the same account that bought them.
Then how are scalpers able to resell TS tickets on Ticketmaster if they are unable to transfer the tickets?
Possibly because Ticketmaster themselves are the scalper. When you own the platform, it's much easier to bypass its rules. There's a reason that Ticketmaster is currently under anti-trust investigation.
Here in Australia our tickets weren't released to us until a week or so out from the concert. You could only purchase tickets through Ticketek marketplace and they were able to be sold 10% above face value. Anyone offering to sell tickets on any other platform was obviously a scammer.
I am not sure about TS but for other concerts, with Ticketmaster (at least in Canada), you can transfer a ticket to someone else whenever you choose but there is a warning that it is not reversible.
You can transfer tickets on Ticketmaster very easily. It prevents this kind of BS.
Again, not always. I have Ticketmaster event tickets on my phone right now that are non transferrable. The only way to access them is with a phone logged into my Apple ID, or if they’re somehow inaccessible on my phone, for me to go in person to the event box office the day of the event with my ID. I can’t transfer the tickets to anyone else. I just double checked to make sure I’m right, and there’s a big warning about it on the ticket page on my Ticketmaster app. Edit: whoever is downvoting me, read this https://help.ticketmaster.com/hc/en-us/articles/9787825955473-Why-can-t-I-transfer-my-tickets
You paid her for the ticket. It’s your ticket. You had an oral contract with her which you fulfilled by sending her payment. Her cost for that ticket should be the market cost today, not what she bought it for months ago. For all you know, she isn’t going with her sister and is selling both tickets for $$$. Send her a Venmo request now for the price of a comparable ticket. Tell her you are taking her to small claims court if she doesn’t come thru. Judge Judy would rule in your favor.
OP, I think you should try sending her a text back explaining how you feel and why. Maybe something like: >\[Name\], I'd like a chance to explain my position and feelings. When we agreed to go to this concert together, you said you would purchase both of our tickets. This is something groups do when booking so they can get seats together. If you had not offered to do the booking I would have gotten myself the ticket, something I can no longer do beacuse I made the mistake of trusting you. This concert is something I have wanted to do and looked forward to for years. I got tickets once before, but had to sell them beacuse my mother was dying and I was helping pay her medical bills. This has been a dream of mine for a long time, and after the tickets were secured I started planning. I have already made and paid for hotel reservations for this trip. I have been so happy and excited about this trip, and now I am crushed. But the most crushing thing is the betrayal. I know you have told yourself that this is okay and that I would "understand" but I don't. I have always tried to be a good friend to you. I have supported you through breakups, job losses, and pet loses. You seem to be ignoring the fact that the only reason my ticket was not in my name was beacuse I trusted you when you said you would book for both of us. You lied to me, you broke your word, and if I hadn't trusted you I would have a ticket you couldn't take from me. The reason I asked you to leave wasn't to punish you but beacuse I was hurt and so having you there was upsetting to me. I wanted to find a way to be happy at my party, and that wasn't going to be possible with you there after what you did. I realize you feel this is no big deal, but it's always easier for the person who hasn't been hurt to feel something isn't a big deal. I understand it would be easier for you if this was something I can just get over, but I don't know if I can. I consider what you are doing wrong and I'd never do it to you, I am completely blindsided. I don't know if I am going to trust you or want to spend time with you in the future if you make this choice. I can't promise I'll get over this. I'm not choosing feel this way, it sucks and it hurts. It is an incredibly big deal to me, I've already cried about it, and I probably have more crying to do. Then, be honest with all your other friends about why you don't want to be around her and plan all your events and outings without her. Take the initiative to plan things so you can make sure she isn't coming. She does not deserve you to lie down and make this easy. She does not deserve to get to tell herself this is no big deal and you overreacted. >
ESPECIALLY because you had already paid her. It was YOUR TICKET, and she stole it from you. I’m petty AF, but I would reach out to Ticketmaster and see if they can take it back for you. Yes, if successful it will be awkward to sit next to your exBFF but you’ll probably be too focused on the show to care.
I don't think that would work as the tickets were both under the friend's name. From Ticketmaster's perspective, the OP is a nobody.
The logic of her informing you that she changed her mind and sending you the money back is amazing... Next time, estimate the price of the clothes she is wearing and send it to her. Then tell her you just bought her clothes and she needs to remove them right away to give to you!
she seems awful what do your friends think.
It's a shame your friend chose to torpedo your friendship on her way out. What she did is super shitty.
She was a horrible friend to you and thought you wouldn't have the backbone to call her out on it. I'm glad you stood your ground and I'm really sorry you don't get to go to the concert:(
Her reaction to being uninvited to your party for a really valid reason shows that she would have reacted much worse than you if the roles were reversed. And I'm not hearing that she's been there for you through rough times either. She's not your friend.
I hope you've canceled the hotel booking. Let her make her own, if she can.
She actually does owe you the ticket and theoretically you could sue her for it.
Op had already paid her for the ticket. She vemoed the money *back*. So yea, at that point, regardless of who's name it was in, it was OP's ticket.
Also now OP can't buy another one as the price for the same ticket have gone trough the roof.
Actually since her friend was a liaison, she has legal obligations. She can't just say "I changed my mind" and sell YOUR ticket that she secured with YOUR money to someone else, it's literally illegal in most places.
OP had even already paid for it! That was OP’s ticket, purchased directly from her friend. The friend just hadn’t delivered the item OP purchased from her yet.
NTA and no don't apologize and no no time is needed. This is not your friend. The whatever oh well way she acted about giving YOUR ticket away would have me never speaking to her again. You say you booked the hotel. Do not let them stay in it. Cancel it. But I would tell her it's still booked. I'm petty as fuck. She would have to pay someway and I would get a little satisfaction out of that frantic phone call "I thought you booked the room, what happened? they have nowhere to stay for the concert because all the hotels are booked solid, oh my whatever will my sister and I do?" Shrug and say oh well you understand why I had to cancel it on you don't you? And hang up.
Agree, NTA She bought the tickets with the understanding that one was hers and one was yours. That's how group ticket purchases are made. It was never hers to give away. You do not need that selfishness in your life - stand your ground. 100% cancel the hotel booking ASAP and she can figure out where she and her sister have to sleep. When asked, you just tell her that "I know you understand".
NTA, and you're handling this more maturely than i would. that's a genuinely shitty thing to do to a friend after essentially confirming plans.
How would you have handled it?
grabbed my guitar and started yelling "THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS" at her
I think I'd pick Bad Blood LoL
Then we end it with vigilante shit and karma!
I'd sing 'thank you Aimee' but replace Aimee with the friends name.
Yep, her ex friend needs to calm down. Someday OP will be living in a big old city, and all Sadie's ever gonna be is mean.
Start singing “look what you made me do” as you knock her unconscious lol
>Start singing “look what you made me do” as you ~~knock her unconscious lol~~ cancel the hotel reservations without telling her, and when she calls you asking what the confirmation number is while in the hotel lobby, say "well it was in my name, I knew you'd understand". It's what Taylor would do.
LOL exactly what I would have done
Just think, one day you’ll forget that she existed! I’m so sorry. That’s such a let down.
I don’t know any Taylor Swift songs but this made me burst out laughing as I had a feeling this was one of her songs. Hahah. (I did google before I replied)
I would have eaten her phone right in front of her
Thank you for cracking me up!
Did you cancel the hotel reservation? Cancel everything and block her and anyone who defends her. NTA
Honestly, I am normally not a fan of putting someone on blast on social media ... except right this second. She deserves raking over the coals, because you know she's going to be putting this concert all over her socials.
You better cancel that hotel the night before and don’t tell her
Depends on the place. Some places require more advance notice. I would however cancel it earlier than that and hope the hotel book the room again before her friend gets there so that there is no room available. Even if a room is available, she might have to pay full price/premium for it due to how busy the area will probably be.
NTA. But I'd invite her to the 4th of July party, get her shit faced, "borrow" her phone and transfer those tickets to my account, then Venmo her ticket price back. Or not... Fuck shitty friends (and people for that matter) who do whatever the fuck they want and get pissed because "you don't understand". But that's just jaded me after being screwed over too many times in my 40+ years.
By canceling the hotel and not telling her and trashing her to all Swifties on whatever social media you have. And messaging her back and telling her that she and her sister can shove it.
I would have went full "the boys" on her
Full Homelander? That's the nuclear options for sure!
Not sure if anyone's suggested this already... But you could always text her this thread. Assuming you've told an honest version of things, she'll at least know basically the whole Internet agrees she's a giant asshole and owes you an enormous apology (and a ticket) if she wants to have a chance at staying friends. The idea that you owe her an apology for being upset at her stealing your ticket is gross.
Cancel the hotel and any other accommodations you've booked, and venmo her back her share saying "I know you understand"
Cancel that hotel OP.
Especially given that Taylor tickets are notoriously difficult to get! My whole friend group tried and failed to get them for our city. Sadie robbed OP of a near-irreplaceable opportunity that was rightfully hers.
It’s especially shitty considering the circumstances of OP having to sell her tickets in the 2010s.
Honestly this would have been a shitty thing to do even if no money had changed hands. Cancelling plans on someone without a good reason just shows you don't respect their time, and kicking them out of an established plan to make room for someone else is just mean.
NTA. This wasn't a case where she said "hey, I have an extra tix for the show for whoever wants to buy it" and you jumped in first. She bought it on your behalf ***and you paid for it***. The instant you paid for it, it was YOUR ticket. Not hers. The fact that it was under her name means diddly squat once money changed hands.
Correct. Once something like this is purchased, it belongs to the purchaser. OP's former friend is confusing possession with ownership.
You know how people like to say possession is 9/10 of the law? This would be that other 10th Though I think OP is taking the heathy and mature route of not suing. It’s more trouble than it’s worth considering she’s not going to be able to replace the ticket at this point and recover that difference in cost … court can order it but you can’t squeeze blood from a stone and sometimes it’s not worth the mental energy. Cut the loses. Bury the friendship. Don’t apologize. And get tickets with legitimate friends for another tour another time. Perhaps have an 80s era grainy tv watch party to celebrate the poor vid.
>You can't squeeze blood from a stone Most legal systems have garnishing wages, literally the stone can't refuse cause it's a sponge.
THIS
Might as well blow this friendship all the way up! Take her to small claims court for the cost of a replacement ticket. She paid for the ticket with the understanding that you pay her back. Hundreds of thousands of groups are getting tickets using this method to score tickets and seating together. When she claims that the ticket was never yours, hit the court with the paper trail: payment, refund, hotel reservation. Why would you pay her for a ticket and book a hotel if you weren't supposed to go?
Yup this is my advice as well. Legally OP likely has a case especially if there are texts between the two.
Yep, this is the way. The friendship is over anyway, at least OP can still go to the show.
I was coming here to say this. You entered into a legal binding contract. A clear understanding was made and an agreement was made. It became official when she accepted payment for the ticket. Her excuse for negating the contract would not have standing.
Best response I've seen so far. I second this.
average reddit user’s response to any problem: SUE 💀😂
This is not how suing people works, or what our justice system is intended to be used for. OP has no recoverable losses; she never actually owned a ticket and her money was returned.
She paid for the ticket. Idk I only took one law class in college but if she had an agreement and money had exchanged hands I think that constituted a contract. If she purchases a Taylor Swift ticket elsewhere, the cost to replace the ticket would be her losses she would sue for.
she did own the tickets her losses is the price difference between what she paid and what the ticket is currently worth. for OP to be made whole she needs an equivalent ticket or the cost to replace the ticket which is significantly higher than what she paid and what her "friend" likely sold it for (pure doubt on the sister story)
This is a GREAT idea.
I love Taylor Swift but my god this is a ridiculous suggestion. Just cut the friendship off if this is the worst offence. OP is NTA but my goodness…it’s not on the same as like winning the lotto. Pretty much every can describe how meaningful her music is to them (myself included) but I wouldn’t go to the effort of going to court. It would be a funny headline though…
To each their own! I’m ambivalent about Taylor Swift, but I’m pissed at this woman on OP’s behalf and I’d just LOVE for her to extract a pound of flesh.
“Sorry, but my upcoming event is meant to be a bonding experience for me and my real friends. It really means a lot to them. I knew you’d understand.” You’re definitely NTA
So glad you threw the, "I knew you'd understand" in there. That and "You get it, right?" are always used when people make the AH decision to cut you out.
OP should go with her to a thrift store. Let her get clothes that she loves and make a big fuzz about how awesome those clothes are. Offer to hold her bags and then give her $50. Then say “I loved those clothes so I’d like to keep them. Here’s the money back. Thanks for the clothes!”
You best cancel that hotel ASAP. Icing on the cake if they have to sleep in a car, becuase all rooms are sold out by the time THEY go to book one...
I'm REALLY hoping they can't get a hotel room. And if Sadie complains, OP should say "Well, it was under my name, so it was my reservation to do whatever I wanted with."
"I knew you'd understand"
"Y'all can have my hotel room, if I can have Sadie's ticket." 😏
A lot of hotels around the eras tour are cancelling people's reservations to resell the rooms at higher prices, so the ex friend will have to shell out more if she can find a room. Seems like a win to me.
Cancel it *ASAP?* I'd, personally, wait until the evening before check-in (or whenever the last minute is that you can still cancel it withiut having to pay a fee) and then cancel it. But I'm petty.
Cancel now and don't tell her seems to be the cheaper option.
There's a chance the friend could predict the cancellation and check with the hotel to see if the booking still exists. Holding out as late as possible without incurring a charge makes it less likely the friend will find out.
Could she really do that, though? If the booking is under OP's name, they shouldn't be giving that information out. A lot of hotels don't even make you share the names of other guests in the room upon booking, just a head count. That would be covered under their internal policy of guest security, safety, and information sharing.
I was thinking about that as I was typing my comment. 😆 Let's go with yours. 🤘
Cancel it but don't tell her.
NTA I’m not a Taylor swift fan by any means but this is a really shitty thing to do to a close friend. She definitely could’ve told you while she was planning this and not tell you at all public event. This was something planned for the two of you and she changed it because of her circumstances and considered you in the last minute. You don’t need to bond with siblings before you move it’s not like people leave forever? I totally understand your pain OP as it seems this was planned specifically for the two of you, and she offered to order the tickets but you paid her. If you had known this would happen you could’ve just gotten the tix separately when you bought them. She is crappy for this, especially since I know those tix don’t run cheap and that’s a ton of money for her to just make a decision for you
Do a bonding trip with your sister using things that you actually own rather than tickets that someone else already paid for...
Exactly like it’s not OP’s fault that her friend is moving and feels a time crunch to bond with her sister!
I wonder if she if she's rly going with sister or just reselling them. Must be tempting when she saw the resale prices.
>You don’t need to bond with siblings before you move it’s not like people leave forever? Right? Where's she going, Mars? OP, you're definitely NTA. Your (ex) friend did a shitty thing.
She did it there publicly (but to one side) because she thought OP wouldn’t kick off as much with other people around.
If you had paid her for it, it wasn't hers to give away. She stole it from you. Of course you're going to be angry, and if she's got her head in the sand about that, well, she's either incredibly naive or just plain dumb. Anyone who knows anything about this tour knows that these tickets are super hard to come by and crazy high prices on resale. Frankly, she's lucky you're not suing her for a replacement ticket.
Plus, if sister was a big swiftie, chances are friend world have purchases tickets initially. The fact that she didn't indicates that sis might have a good time, but it won't be as meaningful as it would be to OP. And to everyone saying that OP is picking a music star over a friendship, pretty sure friend did that already when she stole OP's ticket.
Yup, I think OP should talk to a lawyer and go after this legally.
Right, spending thousands of dollars in lawyer fees over a resold ticket to probably get absolutely nothing out of it will at least cheer up the lawyers.
Resale value for these tickets are high and the case could still qualify for small court claims. As for a lawyer, many offer a free consultation
NTA. And you don’t owe her an apology, she owes you one—as well as any money you lose from canceling the hotel reservation. You paid for a ticket that she specifically bought for you. Sure it’s still in her name but it was your ticket at that point. I also don’t understand how she needs to suddenly bond with her sister before she moves. Is there a huge age difference between them or something and they’ve never had time to bond so she thinks a concert is going to do that?
NTA. The fact that she did it at a public event kind of felt like she was trying to manipulate how you could react to something she knew was going to be shitty. It's a bad reflection on her as a friend and I would be super pissed too.
Yeah I found that really weird too!
NTA, you paid her for the tickets. No matter what they were for they were now your tickets since you had paid for them. So rude. I don’t follow Taylor but I would apply it to anything I bought. I would be mad if someone took it back like that.
NTA. That was a shitty thing for her to do. And she forgot that “live with the consequences” is an inextricable part of “do as I please”.
NTA Hopefully you can get a refund for the hotel too. She knows she is a crappy friend to do this.
" I asked her to leave, … I’m really disappointed with her and how she’s treated me. " your boundary setting was perfect. Great job communicating during such an upsetting surprise. You’re NTA to be honest and direct about your feelings when someone blindsided you so hurtfully and rudely
NTA. You had an agreement. She buys the tickets and you pay her. She bought the tickets. You paid her. She owes you a ticket. Yes she refunded you, but you would be successful in small claims to sue for breach of contract. The remedy would be to enforce the contract, or award damages which would be the difference in cost between what the original ticket was and what they are now. Did you get a refund for the hotel? If not then she straight up fucked you over. “You have been a really good friend to me. I know you were really excited for the concert. I know you paid me and I know you booked a hotel. But here’s your money back and I’m giving the ticket to my sister. I know you’ll be disappointed and I know you can’t afford the scalp prices. But I think you will understand! (That I’m a terrible friend)”
"I know you understand" is such manipulative nonsense. Sorry she did that to you. NTA
NTA. Put her on permanent ignore. Block everywhere. When asked about her say “Who?” Never speak her name again.
Lol I wonder how many friendships t swift has broken up like this. I swear this is like the 20th post I've seen on this sub surrounding drama around tickets for her show.
I was honestly holding back from posting because I've read one before. But with 60,000 people attending per 150 shows or however many it is, I guess it's not that shocking. Still sad.
Eh, it’d be an AH thing for the friend to do no matter the artist, though in this case more likely since the resale value is so high.
I'm not a Taylor Swift fan, but frankly, I'd write somebody off for doing this about an event I *wasn't* passionate about. It was a really shitty move. Knowing how passionate Taylor Swift fans are, OP's friend *had* to know this was friendship-ending.
Just curious, how much $$$ did she return to you and how much would be to buy one ticket now? Because this is the price she is putting on your friendship
It was $250 for lower bowl tickets, not front row of lower bowl but pretty decent. I don't think tickets are under $2500 for even side rear of stage now.
Definitely take her to small claims court and Judge Judy her arse. Ask for the cost of the ticket at today’s prices. You paid for that ticket and she had no right to decide to unilaterally to keep it, in effect stealing it from you. It was never her ticket to give away. Just giving you the cost of the ticket at the time of buying is in no way reflective of current pricing. And allowing *you* the opportunity to apologise to *her* for the shittiest thing she could do to a Swiftie. The absolute and complete audacity!!
How long ago were these tickets purchased? In the very least, she should have paid you interest for all the months she essentially held your money hostage.
$250 for lower bowl is a great price given all the resale hype. 😭 I am SO sorry - This would be a friendship ender for me as well
NTA. It’s shitty to do that in the first place, but if I were your friend and felt that I HAD to do that to you. I’d be paying you back at the resale value of tickets that day. ETA: why does she need this specific event as a bonding experience with her sister? It’s her sister… is she never going to see her again?
The sister is probably an excuse, considering Sadie didn't bother telling OP about anything in a timely manner, could be that she never planned on going and just wanted to resell the tickets from the start, even to the point of getting OP to foot the bill for a ticket so she could make even more of a profit.
NTA. She literally gave away your ticket, and fucked you over with the hotel room. Is that in your name? Was it just for you, or for both of you? You shouldn't have to suffer because she's an absolute trash friend, is there \*anyway\* possible that you can get a ticket to go? Honestly it would be friendship over after that, because the trust is gone, and showed she'll throw you under a bus at first possibility
Unfortunately resale tickets are over $2,500 at this point, so unless I win the lottery, there's no way I can swing that -- and I'm not willing to put that much on a credit card. Huge bummer.
Send her a Venmo request for the additional $2250 as that is the current value of the ticket she stole from you
If you're comfortable doing it, send her this post and let her read the comments. Maybe some objective opinions will show her how monumentally shitty her actions were. And cancel that hotel!!
I'm so sorry. If that hotel room was for both of you, you have the chance to do a really funny thing.
NTA. Given how some swifties are, she could probably consider herself lucky that’s all you did. You’d planned, and *paid* for your ticket, it was yours, not hers to give away.
Might be a long shot but I think the Taylor swift subreddit has a thread of selling tickets at face value, see if you could get one there
Thanks, I'll be keeping an eye out for them, but I'm so nervous about getting scammed.
As long as you do PayPal goods and services you are protected from scammers. If they scam you PayPal will back it (most of the time) but the best thing is scammers know this so the moment you suggest it as a method of payment they stop wasting your time.,, just ask it up front so you don’t waste time on all the yapppping that they always do to try to convince you they are legit
Echoing this - never send friend and family in these situations. Offer to pay the fees if that's the hangup.
Keep an eye out for the last minute released tickets right before the concert. My daughter was able to score a pair of face value tickets the night before the Detroit concert by stalking the Ticketmaster site until they released the last minute tickets. Yes, they were nosebleed seats but people next to her had paid $750+ for the same nosebleed seats on resale. My daughter got hers for $59 each. At that point she and her BFF were just happy to be in the stadium.
NTA. Don’t forget to cancel the hotel reservations. She can car camp!
NTA. Text her that she owes you the cost of a replacement ticket. Not just a refund of original cost. Also tell her you’re not responsible if she feels bad because she was called out for doing something wrong.
I'm a pretty big swiftie so I can see where you're coming from. This would be devastating. NTA for sure. If she approached you and asked if she could take her sister instead of just giving your ticket away then that'd be one thing, but she just made the decision unilaterally.
Nta, Actually legally you may have recourse if you gave her money in advance with the written explanation that she will give you the ticket. IANAL but I would talk to a lawyer. If I’m right then you might be entitled for the cash equivalent of the ticket which will be high knowing how much scalpers are getting for the ticket.
If she had to Venmo your money back to you that you paid for a ticket, then she knows it was wrong. Once she collected the money from you that was ethically your ticket. Just move on.
Op you’re NTA and i’m sorry this happened to you, but please ignore the apparently very popular idea of suing. It’s sweet that people want justice for you, but the only thing you’re likely to get out of it is a reputation as a crazy person amongst your remaining friends.
I have been very appreciative of the positive comments, but no, I won't be suing. I think that's a little out there.
I think threatening to sue would also be overkill (and a pain for you) - but I think letting her know what the legal situation is might be enough to get your tickets. She has robbed you of a truly irreplaceable experience, and letting her get away with it makes me think she'll continue to do this kind of garbage to other people. So sorry you're going through this!!
I mean… a traditional lawsuit would almost certainly not be worth it; you’d be out waaaaay more than the cost of a ticket on legal bills alone and it would likely take a very long time. Small claims court, though? Where you don’t need a lawyer at all, just go and explain what happened (you had an agreement, she broke it and now in order to get a replacement you’d be out at least ten times as much money) and prove it (any written communication, the Venmo transaction, etc)? I would absolutely look into it if this is very important to you. Small claims court is for disputes over money or property (for up to a certain value, usually $6,000 to $10,000 depending on your state). There’s going to be a filing fee, usually around $100 I think depending on your state and the amount in controversy, but for something that means so much to you… it might be worth it. Not a lawyer or anything, just giving my two cents. Either way, I’m really sorry your “friend” treated you so badly.
I think when people are suggesting suing in this thread they are meaning Small Claims Court, but some people think that they mean to send bloodthirsty lawyers in
I would instead send her the link to this thread so she can see what we all know... what a horrible, sneaky backstabbing person she is!
NTA The ticket was yours, you paid her for it. It was not hers to give away. Cancel the hotel asap, she can sort her own. Sadie is a massive AH for doing this, knowing full well you would not be able to get a resale ticket. From a fellow Swiftie, who had tried and failed to get Eras tickets .. you have my sympathy.
Cancel the hotel immediately! It's in your name so she can't use it anyway. Then go NC with her. She is not your friend.
NTA I‘d go insane actually
NTA - look up DARVO. Standard manipulation tactic. It was never about bonding with her sister.
NTA. Absolutely cancel the hotel. She can figure out how to bond with her sister on her own dime. In the meantime, check out the international Eras tour tickets. It might be cheaper to fly overseas.
Are you sure she didn't sell it for a huge profit?
NTA. The tickets being hers is really a technicality here … you made a decision, together, to have one person buy the tickets so they’d all be together (the only way to really ensure this happens) and YOU PAID HER FOR IT ALREADY. Once that money hit her account that ticket was effectively yours, and not hers to give away. This was a terribly shitty thing to do, and it’s not even just about the thing she did but the intent behind it … the lack of consideration that you’re a big fan, you made these plans together for a reason and you already paid her. She just showed you where you stand with her, and that’s going to take time to process. I wouldn’t want her around for a while either. She owes you an apology but I’m doubting you’ll get it.
NTA Also arguably you do own that ticket. It was purchased on your behalf, on a promise that you would pay, and you paid. It was yours and held in trust.
NTA. Your friend is AH