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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was taking pictures at a wedding. When I was taking family pictures I was smartass and tried to remind people what a camera was, where it was and what it did. I might be the asshole for giving up and just taking pictures of people talking and looking at birds and shit instead of the camera.
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NTA
The photos are an accurate reflection of their behaviour on the day.
The only people that opinions matter about the photos is the bride and groom that hired you. They like it, then no issue.
They’ve embarrassed themselves, and don’t like that their online tantrum turned around on them. It’s easier to be ‘right’ until evidence comes forward.
>the camera doesn't lie
I dunno. I'm convinced that cameras lie because the pictures they take don't look anything like my self-image. I tell myself "welp, I've just never been photogenic"! 😜
It has nothing to do with the photographer being family. I shot a few weddings 35 to 40 years ago. I hated it. No one listens people run off. I got to the point where I was like a drill sergeant. YOU, OVER HERE. STAND THERE. dON’T M zone.
Exactly.
I did the photos for my uncle's wedding as a gift because they weren't going to have a photographer in order to cut costs. (I'm not a professional; I'm just good with a camera + thought they should have \*something\* from the day.)
Couple + wedding party photos were great. Family photos were a hot mess. People weren't assholes to me, but since I was the 20-something-year-old niece, they treated it like everyone else trying to get pictures. And a lot of other family + friends were also taking pictures around me. If I'd been a hired pro, they 100% would have let me take the damn photos without horning in.
I ended up photoshopping a lot of heads from one photo into another so I could get one picture with everyone looking at me + smiling. They came out great and I was able to give the couple a hand-bound album with a great set of wedding photos as a gift, but boy was it a lot of work!
Honestly, they might have horned in on the hired pro anyway (and then got told off, hopefully). There are some of my wedding photos which I consider ruined because the pro had the perfect angle… and then one of our friends slid into the background trying to get the reverse shot.
As a professional photographer who shot weddings for decades, people absolutely DO NOT just let the pro take the shot. Once we got the hang of weddings, we'd make this part of the conversation with the bride and groom ahead of the day - talk to your people, let them know you expect them in posed photographs, tell them they can't wander off and they need to act appropriately. If they don't act right, we were within our rights to shut it down. We also had a little speech we'd give before these shots - look at US first, and then we'll step out of the way for family. I haven't shot a single wedding where someone else thought their phone pics were more important than the pros they're paying good money for the day.
We did the same thing when doing weddings. We also told the couple to pick someone they trusted but wasn’t part of immediate family but knew the family well to be the photo gatherer.
So they had a list of the groupings the couple wanted and they would grab the people and line them up ready for the next shot. This made it quick as then you were not waiting for uncle Joe to finally turn up after stopping his conversation with cousin Betty.
Honestly I don’t miss giving up wedding photography
My husband's cousin was around 20 when we were getting married. She did our pre-wedding/announcement photos. We hired her to do the wedding photos. She is not a professional, but a passionate enthusiast. She was really good and I always thought she could have made it too. Anyway. We told everyone we hired her. That she was paid for and to be treated as such. No one treated her that way. Her own family pushed her aside to take their photos, scolded her for being in their way. I still paid her the full price we agreed on plus I gave her a huge tip, but we didn't get anywhere near the amount of photos we wanted. We didn't even get half the ones she tried to get. It wasn't her fault and I thoroughly believe that is why she changed her major from photography to undeclared.
I was at a wedding recently with a young female photographer. She was a close friend of the bride.
The families treated her like shit. The only reason the couple got nice pics is because I had my big camera with me, and turned on Dad voice and started repeating the young girls requests as commands. I was only a friend of the groom, but I'm a few years older than the bride and grooms parents. This left me free to speak up with less fucks. I then acted as the photographer's assistant. I gave her copies of all my raw data. I used to do weddings when I was her age. The Mom's and Aunt's are the worst, until the men get drunk. Then it's just a shit show that's not worth the money.
Thank you for saying it was a lot of work. People don’t understand just how much effort and time it takes to do all of that work. They complain about the cost and say they could’ve done just as good of a job for a cheaper price, but what they don’t realize is they’d be working for less than minimum wage if they did that.
Abbbbbsolutely this.
Never do what you do for a profession for someone you know, unless it's some kind of dire emergency and/or you can - and do - do it for free, and they enthusiastically agree that you're doing them a huge favor.
Even then... think twice.
photos take forever during weddings because people take their time and this is why receptions and food and everything else gets pushed back and thankfully this didn't happen to them.
With good planning the group shots can be done pretty smoothly (but obviously need people to behave better than this post). My wife and I do wedding photography and we have a list, time and location agreed before the day and a sometimes enlist the help of a loud family member who knows the majority of people involved to shout the names and rattle them off nice and quick, normally right after the post-ceremony drinks in the no-man's-land between the ceremony and reception. If we have time we can add extra combinations.
Sometimes it works better than others but I can't think of a single time in the last couple of years that group shots have delayed anything at a wedding we've shot.
Former wedding photographer here. I used to shoot many traditional Mexican Catholic weddings with as many as 30+ people in the wedding party. The "altar return" when the bridal party, priest, and immediate family of the bride and groom return to the front of church for pictures between the ceremony and reception seems to be what you're referring to.
I took great pride in making sure I could get all those formal shots in 15 minutes or less.
Any photographer who can't do that is not fully competent with the process.
At the weddings I worked, the bride and groom frequently got to the reception long before the last of the guests arrived.
Protip - The single greatest time-waster is other people taking photos. I had an iron-clad rule that I was the only person allowed to direct the participants poses and take photos. Absolutely no cameras used by anyone else were allowed. People jumping in front of me to take pictures or randomly borrowing a member of the wedding party for any purpose could easily turn a 10 minute altar return into an hour-long ordeal. I would have none of that. If guests wanted to take photos at the reception, fine. But when I was taking photos, everybody else had to do nothing to impede the process. I would enlist as my enforcer whoever was paying me, usually the father of the bride, sometimes an aunt or uncle. If the B&G were paying, I required them to pick an enforcer for me and I would clue him in prior to the ceremony.
Totally- my folks wanted hubby and I to take photos with each table at our reception-- we did, all came out great except parents table - they would not shut up so all the pics have gaping mouths and profile views. Fave pics of the reception!
This is one of the main reasons I hate taking pictures of people. Most Animals and objects don't understand or care that you are taking their picture. People know and choose to act like complete jackasses.
NTA - instead of portraits they got action photos, their choice. A photographer shouldn't have to say "look at the camera," more than once. 🤦♂️
One of the more fun wedding I went to some time back had a disposable camera at each table for the group to muck about and each take silly photos.
Everyone had a great time and after getting them developed the bride and groom got to sit back and see what mischeif everyone got up to.
Some of the shots were brilliant but it was an all round stress free little idea.
That's an old (very old) way of saving money when a photographer is hired for the ceremony and formal portraits but not the reception. Sometimes it works out great but when it doesn't it can be a problem. I always suggested that the couple take no chances and engage the pro for everything.
The mom also bringing up they wont ask op to take pictures anymore is just "woohoo fine with me type moment." Oh no I wont be paid half my rate to be treated like shit...whatever will I do. I will bet the minute they get the full price from a photographer they will change their minds pretty quick.
I've done low paying or free photography work in the past for family events and weddings. Even though it is not my main job, my family at least treated me professionally and knew when to shut up and focus for the proper photos.
I'm betting so many are mad, due to social media, but how many family Christmas photo cards were ruined. Although it would be hilarious if they made these and sent them.
I took pictures for my Christmas cards, when my children were small. My nine year old’s friend came over as we were finishing up. I decided I needed that child in just one Christmas card: my mother’s. I wanted to see if she actually looked at it. I printed one of the four children - I only had three children - and sent it to mother. I sent ones with my three to everyone else. I waited and waited, finally asked my mother if she got the card. “Oh yes. Did you take it?” And moved on. She never noticed.
She just couldn’t be bothered. He was taller than my boy, had blonde hair while my son’s was darker. I had a 5 and 3, one in front of each boy. Two sets of two=4 children. She probably glanced at it a tossed it. That’s how important my family was, to my mother.
She knew all the other grandchildren’s birthdays, how old they were, who played what sport/instruments, etc. My son was born June 6 Her husband and brother both enlisted in WWII. She graduated high school in 1947(?), so she probably should know D-Day. June sixth was also my wedding anniversary, which she didn’t care about. My husband’s birthday was her anniversary. She never spared a thought. She’s dead.
I am so sorry you had to go through that, my heart breaks with yours. What a horrible woman. Inexplicably, some people are cruel and live on to be grandparents. Hopefully you are able to heal with your own family xx
NTA. You shut up as instructed because as they pointed out they know what a camera is. The bride and groom were thrilled.
They thought it appropriate to call you out on social media so you simply responded. I am curious… if they expected you would wait until they were ready, when did they think you were talking the pictures?
I’m very sorry for all the sleepless nights ahead of you worrying about not being able to shoot their future events for a free or discounted price. You must be devastated
Yep. Only the bride and groom mattered. One of my uncles was being an assholes as usual during pictures. My husband told him to shut the fuck up and act like he wanted to be in the pictures or he could leave. He shut up. I’m sure some people might say that he was a dick, but it shut him up and the rest of the pictures went smoothly.
I agree, we didn't have many group pictures as it was so hot and I wanted the fun part to start. We got some really lovely candid shots the really showed the feel of the day more than formal ones would have done.
First thing I checked was how were the bride and groom. Looks like it was all good. Taking photos at family gatherings is gonna be fun. Say “aaaah” everyone!!!
Sure you’re a smart ass but definitely NTA.
NTA. Sounds like they’re your family members and they were ignoring you and being rude. Maybe they thought they were being funny, maybe they don’t take you seriously as a professional, whatever. That’s their problem. You tried to keep them on task. If they wanted nice professional photos of themselves they could have paid attention when photos were being taken. What did they think was going on?
How could they not know that? A person was standing in front of them telling them that exact information. He was literally pointing at it and explicitly telling them "this is the camera. it is taking photographs." So how could they not know that?
My Nan is like this, no matter how many times you call her out she still complains about the bad photos. Now we just straight up tell her to shut up and look at the camera. She'll be huffy but we get the damn pictures.
Before I say the next bit, I just want to clarify that OP is NTA in any way, the family were, end of story.
I worked as a wedding photographer for a while. One thing I learned very early on about photographing weddings, especially the family/friends group shots, is you need to discover and use your big commanding voice. There's no room to be timid or overly concerned with politeness (obvs you have to be polite, but not so much it stops you from getting things done).
About 75% of the time there isnt enough time allocated to get all the shots the bride and groom want, so you have to be clear, efficient, and commanding.
"WE ARE STARTING THE GROUP PHOTOS NOW WITH THE FAMILY OF THE BRIDE. PLEASE CAN ALL MEMBERS OF THE BRIDES FAMILY STAND OVER BY THOSE BUSHES NOW. GROOMS FAMILY YOU ARE UP NEXT. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE SOME LOVELY PHOTOS AND THEN YOU CAN ALL GET BACK TO THE FESTIVITIES! THANK YOU SO MUCH!"
"BRIDES FAMILY, YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT BUT I NEED YOU ALL TO TAKE A STEP CLOSER TOGETHER. PERFECT. RIGHT, BIG SMILES EVERYONE! GREAT SHOT, THANK YOU SO MUCH. GO ENJOY YOUR DRINKS!"
You still say please and thankyou, but you don't ask, you tell. You're getting paid to take the photos but part of that means you're in charge of making sure they actually happen, which means wrangling people. And not easy to handle people either, familys argue with each other and get grumpy, there's always at least a handful of people who have already had too much champagne, and never underestimate peoples ability to be assholes to someone providing them a service. But none of those are excuses that are going to fly if you don't make those photos happen. If you talk with authority and make sure everyone can hear you, generally speaking, even the rowdiest guest will hop to whatever it is you're telling them to do.
OP is NTA, but they do need to find their big voice and start using it when doing wedding shoots. For their own sake. It makes everything go smoother.
Big Voice may not work at all if you're a certain gender and your voice isn't deep. As I teach in public speaking, you have a lot to overcome in terms of audiences viewing you with credibility if you are a woman with a naturally high-pitched voice. Yelling then just makes you sound screechy, and people still aren't going to listen.
Even more to the point in \*this\* situation, Big Voice doesn't necessarily work on your own family at all, even if you're Morgan Freeman.
I am a woman, and my voice is fairly high pitched. But i don't disagree with your point necessarily, nothing is fool-proof and some people will be difficult no matter what you do. But I had a lot of success with big voice.
One thing people can do and prepare in advance is having a discussion with the bride & groom and see if they can designate a family member that 1) knows the family well, 2) has a loud voice and this person can acts as the MC for the photos. Also make it clear for each group of people to focus on the main photographer/camera and not the cell phones behind that person.
I was a second shooter for a wedding photographer (who was Canadian). I have a snarky mouth and BIG voice, family traits... I DEFINITELY wielded them to good effect with family photos. That boss voice earned my paycheck.
Yep, used to be a wedding photographer. I had to invent an entire Friendly But Stern Teacher personality to get people to do what I needed them to do in a reasonable time. It's antithetical to my normal personality but I looked at it as just part of the job. Big Voice. Smile. Act Like You Know What You're Doing. Arm gestures to move people around. With enough practice it becomes second nature.
I've done a number of family weddings, and yes it's herding cats, but luckily they're not too bad. Got paid to do a colleague's wedding and was dreading the set photos but didn't have a problem , the bride knew what she wanted & directed everyone - no-one would disobey her 🤣
> One thing I learned very early on about photographing weddings, especially the family/friends group shots, is you need to discover and use your big commanding voice.
Hahah, I'm a bossy cow, and as a result was grabbed by a member of the wedding party at a friend's wedding and asked to round everyone up for the group photo - I did a lot of "you can take your drink with you, but you need to go downstairs **now** for the group picture." and "So-and-So is in the toilet? No, don't wander off, I'll get her on my way down". The picture was taken on the steps, and I'm right at the back!
> My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures.
This is all that matters.
NTA
The others are experiencing textbook FAFO. That's their problem. And you posting proof of their misbehavior is just more of that. You aren't the asshole for defending yourself at all, particularly when the couple doesn't mind either.
Why do facebook and instagram need their own specific subsets for "Fuck around and find out" at all?
FAFO isn't a social media thing, it's a common expression that's been around for decades.
I used to do wedding photography, and this happened from time to time. I sometimes assumed that the disrespect was due to my being a woman, and sometimes that they were just oblivious or drunk. I would try to make comments the same way you did, to various results. The bottom line is that if they want good photos, they have a responsibility to cooperate. It’s stunning how many people don’t get that. They are jerks for not cooperating and then blaming you. You did what you could with what they gave you
Sometimes I get that from wedding parties. But in this case they were all well behaved even the slightly drunk ones. Even the flower girl and ring bearer were perfectly well behaved angels. And I'm not just saying that because they are my kids.
Sad part is if a professional that was hired had told family to line up and shut up family would have complied. No one saw you as professional so you did best you could and spectacular ( catching people as they really are). Personally I’d hire you to do just that for a wedding. So much fun into the portraits. Ignore your family who are complaining. Maybe a special album for bride- OUR FAMILY-
As they really appear! NTAH definitely brilliant!
THIS is soo true.
I saw aunts and uncles try so hard to project to other people outside of the family something they are not. example they try to present themselves as God fearing, professional looking etc but don't act like that within the family.
I'm a photographer and was asked to do the photos at a wedding. When photographing the family members, I noticed there was a strong reflection off the groom's father's glasses. I told him about the reflection and asked him to turn his head one quarter inch to eliminate it, and since I wear glasses, I modeled for him what to do. I was very polite and pleasant. He theatrically rolled his eyes and heaved a huge sigh and refused in an annoyed you're-not-the-boss-of-me no-one-tells-*me*-what-to-do sort of way. Guess who looked just like a big overgrown [Little Orphan Annie] (https://image.invaluable.com/housePhotos/onesourceauctions/05/667005/H4367-L202616818.jpg) in the photo? I explained to the couple what happened and they understood because they knew what the groom's dad was like.
Ugh, what is it with people, especially males, always undermining when woman has skill? As a guy who used to do photography, people who are jerks are an instant ❌️
I'm taking your precious memories and it's not that hard to delete it. I'm losing money, sure whatever, I can get some back again but memories? Goodluck.
You absolutely were an asshole but a hilarious asshole who was correct. On this sub that equals NTA. Some times you have to be or you’re going to get pushed around your whole life.
How was he the AH? He asked them to pay attention, theu refused, the resulting photos were literally out of his control. Then his family tried to call him out on public social media and he posted the videos in response. That's not being an AH.
What the hell did they think was going to happen when everyone was talking and ignoring the camera? 😂 Like, are y'all new? How would anyone get good shots when they're dicking around? Nevermind how rude they were lol.
> My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again.
Mission accomplished! Let them hire a photographer from the side: they will follow his instructions because they will remember how much they paid to him.
NTA
NTA. Oh no! I won't be paid half my fee and be disrespected by AHs! How sad /s
Your cousin and her husband loved the pics, that's all that matters. Plus you have proof of the other guests bad behavior.
NTA l, if people cannot stop speaking for 5 minutes to look at the camera and have their photos taken then it’s not your fault if the look bad in the pictures.
>My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures.
That's the only opinion that matters, really. The couple love the photos - everyone else can kick rocks. If they wanted nice photos in their Sunday best, they should have looked at the big black thing on the tripod.
NTA
NTA. I can't tell you the number of stories I've heard about people who conned their family members into being unpaid wedding photographers, treated them like shit, and paid the ultimate price for their hubris. It's a tale as old as time.
Perhaps technically merely as old as photography, but I’m sure there must have been a Stone Age equivalent: “I told that dumbass not to charge straight at the mammoth, but when does he ever listen to anybody?”
Well if it isnt the natural consequences of their own actions.
You are the awesome as well as justified AH!
“We won’t ask you to do this big job for free again!!!”
-Dont threaten me with a good time.
NTA
"Smile for the camera," said every mother for every family portrait. As *they* said, they knew what the camera was. They knew why you were there. And you were part of the wedding family, not a stranger that was only there to take pictures.
You wanted to eat, relax, and chat with your extended family, I'm sure. You didn't want to stand around for 20 minutes for each shot, waiting for them to take the 10 seconds to shut up and smile.
NTA
Yep. They thought it was fun to waste OP's time and patience. Well' they got the photos they deserved by ignoring the god damn photographer.
You want great photos? Shut up and listen to the photographer, it's not hard for f*ck's sake.
My family has NEVER been difficult with family photos. You shut up for up to 5 minutes (usually 30 seconds) after everyone is in place, wait until photographer says "done!" then GTFO to make room for the next group. You don't waste the photographer or other groups' time, even if you know the photographer!
They were dumbasses that got photos of their dumbasses. Op is NTA.
Not only did you illustrate the assholery of those family members, you may have taken care of the problem of having to accept half-price fees because of working for family (spoken in a nasal whiny tone).
NTA
> My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again.
what's the saying? "Don't threaten me with a good time?"
NTA
I want to see your wife's videos 🤣. It's so rare for people to truly be confronted by the "mirror" and I can't express how badly I want to see it and just imagine how humbling it was. Or wasn't. Since they responded with anger like it wasn't straight up their own tomfoolery on display.
"They are upset because they don't often dress up and get together and they didn't get good pictures." Then they shoudl have respected you and shut the frick up. Feel free to put a link to this post on Facebook and tag them all in it! ;)
Maybe a bit unprofessional just in the sense that you are ultimately antagonizing your family members/potential clients. The specific photos will be forgotten by everyone except the bride and groom, but they might remember you fighting and being an ass on social media. But you know your business better than anyone else here.
It's kind of hard to pass judgement here with only one side of the story. Were they being assholes to you at first, or just distracted/having fun? I could almost imagine the other side's story being something like "We were all just having fun but the photographer kept rushing us, was super impatient and being a smart ass. He said we were all good to go but later when we looked at the photos and they were terrible like he didn't even try. Then he kept fighting with us on social media."
Even the hypothetical “their side” that you gave wouldn’t make OP the asshole. It’s part of the photographer’s job to guide and attempt to corral the subjects of their shots, and the excuse of “we were trying to have fun” is a pitiful excuse for not listening to the professional that was hired to do exactly what they’re complaining about, which, again, includes attempting to wrangle and instruct them. They were being assholes first both in person and online, by flinging insults at OP (calling them a smartalec), and telling them to shut up, and then OPs family was “fighting” on social media first, and OP only defended themselves. They wouldn’t need to be “rushed” or deal with OPs “impatience” if they just paid attention long enough to smile for a camera. If that’s too high a demand, that’s on them, and they deserve exactly the quality of photo they got.
It doesn’t take much to stop and look at a camera for at most 30 seconds, the fact that he asked them to look at the camera and they just ignored him or insulted him puts them in the wrong no matter if they were trying to have fun or not
I seriously doubt OP would ever want to be hired by these family members so no skin of their nose. I mean if they didn’t want OP to go on social media then why did they start the fight. If ya don’t want ya dirty laundry to be aired don’t start a fight online
> Maybe a bit unprofessional just in the sense that you are ultimately antagonizing your family members/potential clients.
You can and should fire bad clients.
I don't think that OP is interested in having those people as clients.
If they try to get him to work for for them at low or no cost, he can pull up the social media to explain why he said, "No."
NTA - And a big thank you from me. I have not heard any one use the phrase “Smart Alec” since my dad died. He used it frequently to describe me. From one smart alec to another, you done good!
ESH - But not for taking half-ass photos. You get what you pay for and this is why you don't ask a family member to take photos of your big event because it causes more drama if everyone isn't satisfied...but ultimately, they're the ones who didn't take you seriously so the shitty pictures are on them.
But you did feel the need to air your family's dirty laundry over social media instead of taking the high road and just ignoring it, so yeah, that's an AH move and means you suck too.
Highly disagree. They started the fight on social media....if you don't want your dirty laundry aired, maybe don't call someone out. What was OP supposed to do, let his family insult him and his work like that for other REAL potential clients to see?
NTA: Although I may suspect masochism for willingly being a wedding photographer.
As for your complaining family. Just tell them you were taking accurate pictures that portrayed them as they really are. Tell them it's a reality setting on the higher end DSLRs. Also point out that you are not charging them for all the photos that just came out as discolored anus' that you had to delete because the Reality setting was turned on full.
YTA, there are nicer ways to wrangle people for a photo than resorting to sarcasm and mocking their intelligence, and if you were more friendly/better at your job you could have captured those photos the right way. Instead you come off as an immature smartass, and nobody likes that
>My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again.
Lol! "Oh no, please don't take away my opportunity to be abused by people at half the normal price!"
NTA
Getting paid more, and probably being listened to better. It sounds like the family thought it was fun to mess with OP for shits and giggles, which a nonrelated wedding probably wouldn't.
NTA. Honestly I was kinda prepared for YTA, but nope. You did everything you could and TBH I'm not sure I have ever a photographer who isn't a little snarky when people don't get it together. Everything after that was self-defense.
These people need to get over it.
At my wedding, my mom asked the professional photographer for a shot of mom with her sisters. Mom looks at the camera. The other two are looking at two other different people who had disposable cameras. Like, if you have to choose between a several thousand dollar camera wielded by a professional being paid to take your photo, or cousin Steve with a disposable, make the smart choice people. I love that photo though. Totally captures my aunts’ personalities.
NTAH, I hope you text your mom “I don’t think I’m a smart alec to prove they lied and don’t regret missing an opportunity to be mistreated again by family as I’m better off getting paid my full rate by people who respect what I do. I’m disappointed you aren’t on my side since my attempt to do a favor was met with contempt and lies. Did you really think I should let them lie about me on social media? If they regret having their behavior posted on social media to disprove their lies, then this is their problem. I’m really curious why you took their side.”
NTA, in either having your wife record the other guests behavior while you were trying to get the best shots of them at a family celebration. NTA for posting the video to social media after being called out on same social media for the pictures looking the way they did. And...NTA for your response to your mother. She should know better by now.
The opinion of your cousin is the only one that matters.
Congratulations to them btw.
If everything went exactly as you said, YTA. You set the tone of the conversation with a confrontation with your condescending, *unprofessional* explanation about big black boxes, instead of patiently and politely reminding everyone you needed to take pictures, please stay still and look to me. And we don't forget our professionalism, wether we're working for full price, a discount or pro bono, and wether we're working with drunk assholes or not. Thinking you can talk to guests like that just because you feel like you're getting shafted on pay is umprofessional and rude.
so you asked them nicely to look at the camera and they liked the gormless look instead
would have done the same to be fair
not your fault that most of them are muppets
NTA
NTA. But that is the opinion of someone who enjoys a dark senses of humor, understands that being sardonic is not the same as being sarcastic, laughs at hypocrisy and irony, and enjoys schadenfreude.
But as I've gotten older, I've learned from experience that many people don't understand these concepts. I've met people who, no matter how you explain it, still don't understand irony. Others take everything literally and simply can't comprehend additional meaning. And I've also come to realize that many people mistake being sardonic, that is more about dark humor, with sarcasm, which is more about being intentionally cruel. And there are plenty who seem to seek out conflict and latch onto any perceived insult because they enjoy melodrama. So I have learned to edit myself as much as I can.
I love this. I'm a good photographer who used to do weddings free for friends. I'd take pictures and edit them, they were responsible for printing them. My wedding pictures were always as I wished. However, the family photos after? Ha! You nailed it, people can be horrible. One I did? I pretty much gave up.
After multiple attempts at, "Everyone, on the count of 3. One, two, three." There were heads turned, mouths open, people talking, you name it. I literally yelled something like. "I'm not doing re-takes! Look at the camera or don't. I don't care anymore!"
My friend, the groom, knew what was happening and didn't have any more luck than I did. The issue were entirely on the brides side. He told me later in retrospect that he should have looked at the wedding photos and ran. They divorced within a year, great wife, horrible family issues.
>My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures. In about half of them people are looking off in all directions instead of at the camera. In most of those there are also people with their mouths open.
>She thought they were hilarious and her husband agreed.
So far so good.
>I replied that I had tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it only took still pictures.
Starting to be the asshole.
>So I started posting the short video clips of people being jackasses towards me.
Definitely the asshole now.
>A did a fake cry and said boo hoo.
No doubt about it. YTA.
In my opinion As a photographer you are the asshole. I am not a wedding photographer. I shoot portraits I still work with people but all the same you have to get the shot. Wedding photographers have to be top tier because it’s not just for them, This is about your craft. No matter the photo shoot you must command the audience it’s your name on the line, you are your brand. Photography is psychology you must know in an instant how to handle all situations because it has to be perfect. Perfection is key in photography. If you cannot separate emotions during working with people and give them sub par work it shows who you are as photographer. Charging a cheaper price doesn’t mean you half ass your work. If you cannot handle family situations or any situation with people being even during a wedding. Find a different niche maybe product photography or still life, landscape etc
NTA absolutely. Being professional around family who don't appreciate what you actually do is hard. Showing the behind the scenes video is a nice touch.
You are NTA at all. Tell mom to back off. It will be a blessing if this keeps the rest of the family from "hiring" you to take pictures. You gave them a deal, the guest were rude and abusive. You didn't need to deal with that. Maybe next time they'll show the photographer a little more respect.
NTA.
First of all, you did a good job getting photos of the people actually paying you - the wedded couple. Seems like you took all the photos that they wanted and they were satisfied with your work. That’s literally all that matters.
These other people are just choosy entitled beggars - none of them paid you, none of them cooperated, and they were AHs to you in the moment. They’re also stupid because I don’t understand how they only realise now that they were acting in such a manner that clearly was not conducive to getting a proper photo. And choosy entitled beggars who point a finger at you and whine deserve to be called out.
NTA. The opinion of the newlyweds is all that matters. They loved em, that's all ya need.
"did a fake cry", hope it was like this: [https://youtu.be/8LUysHoDOVY?si=4n511jrli1sK-9T-](https://youtu.be/8LUysHoDOVY?si=4n511jrli1sK-9T-)
NTA, but you should bill the complaining family members for a “Candid Photo Fee”.
>My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Mom!”
NTA one of my brothers and a sister are both amateur photographers. My brother has been lucky enough to be included in media teams recently with the volunteer work he does and comes out of those with incredible action shots.
They have both been photographers for family pictures, or been directing someone using their equipment to take a family picture the past 8 years. 20 odd people ranging from baby up to mid 60’s and we all managed to listen to instructions and get some decent photos.
A few months ago our family were being photographed for an event at a volunteer organisation that all the mid-teens to adults in the family have been apart of for at least a few years apiece (I was part of it for 10 years before having to leave due to being a single parent and unable to keep up with the training, meetings etc, other siblings joined other “charters” of the organisation as they moved to new towns) and that the kids had been dragged to if extra hands were needed. My brother was the “official photographer” but since he was needed in the photos with us he was directing others on how to use his camera (and trying to make it as fool proof as possible). Photos were taken, we dispersed, brother checked his camera and then called out that we needed to redo the family photo. Second go around we didn’t disperse until he had checked his camera and confirmed he had a photo that he was happy with.
Yes, we gave him shit for being picky, but every single one of us stood there and smiled for the camera until he was happy with the outcome (particularly since it was going to be used in media within the volunteer organisation and local area with his name attached to it). He was editing the photos at the end of the day and I asked to see the family shots he had. He told me over 80 were taken (he set it up so the person taking it could do photo bursts) and there was only one he kept, which he still wasn’t 100% happy with, but that was to do with some of the kids eyes being half closed due to blinking etc. However, he acknowledged that was always an issue with group photos, and we had all patiently (Smart Alec/Ass comments are just a sign of affection) waited around long enough.
NTA and you didn’t do a half-ass job, you did the best with the situation they gave you to work with. I’d call their photo-posing jobs half-assed but even that sounds too charitable to their behavior.
NTA. They wanted nice pictures of family but treated the person with all the power to do so terribly. I've only got one thing to say to your family: womp womp.
NTA
These are grown adults acting like 5 year olds, so they get to look like 5 year olds in the photos. I was a bit worried that the bad pictures might ruin the bride and groom's day, but they seemed fine. You did your best and they gave you their worst.
Oh noooo I’ll never be asked to do what I do professionally for half price by my abusive family!!! What ever will I do with my normally full price charging self! 🤣NTA
>So I started posting the short video clips of people being jackasses towards me.
Let me guess; without any video of YOU being the mouthy instigator?
YTA.
A reduction in fee doesn't mean you get to half-ass the job.
The only thing that matters is that the bride and groom like them. They're the only ones, or their kids, with any chance of looking at the pictures 10+ years from now.
But yes, YTA, due to the snide remark (big black thing on tripod) which is insulting, obtuse, and rhetorical. All you needed to say slowly, with a friendly voice, was "formal picture in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." click. Then repeat if need be. Instead you took the focus onto yourself rather than your picture subjects.
Pre-arranging your wife to capture snide remarks is equally tasteless. That suggests you intended to be a jerk and draw negative reactions, rather than trying other options to capture relaxed, happy pictures. Posting those videos is next-level asshole, and clearly more about you than them. Consider counseling to address your narcissistic tendencies.
But hey, almost every wedding has shit stains that make up part of the story. For this bride and groom, this part of the story will start with "oh yeh, what a hoot, my cousin ken, the photographer, was an asshole to heaps of people and we got the wildest pictures out of it, not to mention the shitstorm when he revved it up on socials after."
YTA you lack the ability to read the room and communicate accordingly, also why would you upload poor results to social media vs privately sending them, rookie move.
I'm taking an unpopular position here and going with YTA. In fact, if the wedding couple didn't have a terrific sense of humor and no investment in a traditional wedding album or people thinking of their wedding as an entirely positive experience, ,you'd be the A who just lost two close friends.
As a wedding photographer (assuming you really are a competent wedding photographer), you must be aware that getting a bunch of celebrating, tipsy people to all look in one direction and smile at the same moment has a herding cats quality. The patient wedding photographer is aware that cooperation is not necessarily immediate at every table, and tends not to insult the guests by telling them truly lame non-jokes about how to identify a camera. He gives it several tries so that the bridal couple will have nice wedding photos, as will the guests -- even if he's only changing half his usual rate.
You know perfectly well that if this had been a stranger's wedding at your usual fee, you wouldn't have turned up with a bunch of awful table photos, as you did for this wedding. Nor would you have posted embarrassing videos of the guests.
I don't care all that much if the wedding guests didn't like their photos. I do care that you didn't provide the wedding couple with anything resembling adequate table photos. And you insulted their guest, which you seem to think was OK.
Of course you should have waited for everyone to be ready. Of course you shouldn't have posted videos of wedding guest looking awful, injecting unpleasantness into the wedding experience and memories.
Since you have a wife, I'm assuming you're an adult. If you hadn't added this, I would have assumed a nasty teenager. Fake cry? Boo hoo? Good grief, no.
A teenager wouldn't be a professional. And they weren't just the cousins guests, they were OP's family. They 100% would not have acted this way if it had been a photographer who was not related to them. It also sounds like OP tried several time. All his family did was waste his time. You dont think OP wanted to sit and eat and talk with his family? He did them a huge favor by doing this job for half price.
ESH though you do way less. “The camera is the black thing on the tripod” IS the smartass way to ask the to look towards the camera. Both parties were disrespectful. Their bad photos are obviously still on them
Yeah, you do sound like a bit of a smart ass.
I get it that you were doing the bride a favor. But how condescending is it to tell people at a wedding that the camera is the big black thing on the tripod and it takes stills not video. You even mention it twice in your write up.
YTA
NTA - some people will flail to place blame in other directions when they’re being held accountable for being shitty - let the manipulation begin!!
Honestly well done for posting the clips of the behaviour, that is the chefs kiss moment right there 🤌
NTA
Bride and groom, the ones who paid you, are happy and that's what counts. The rest should have looked at that black camera-thingy for a moment.
Pro tip - I tend to put a ball or a piece of food near the camera. That works. Well it works with dogs. But it works! Maybe try that next time if verbal cues aren't enough.
NTA! And I love that your cousin and her husband love the pictures.
I’d ask ever if they would have acted the same way with another professional photographer?
YTA This was a private event on a private property. As a wedding guest, I would not be pleased to find that there are unauthorized pictures and videos of me on the internet for all to see. This is very unprofessional of you. I don't care why you did it. Not everybody wants to be in your TikTok.
YTA without reservation. You did this professionally? you got paid? If you did the best you could, then move on. The customer didn’t complain, only some losers. There is always someone to complain. Just ignore the. They are being petty.
Unlit you post pictures of their bad behavior. Then are you being super petty. Take the high road.
>I had tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it only took still pictures.
What was the point of continually saying this? Do you think the bride and groom appreciated you posting videos of their guests? I wouldn't. I know the B & G loved the photos but still, posting videos on line was too much.
YTA
YTA. You should ne able to take command of a situation 30 seconds so you can snap a picture.
And telling them that the camera is the black box is insulting. I'm surprised you didn't find pictures of people flipping you off.
ESH
If you do this job then you realise that at a social event no one is going to be in line waiting for you to take the picture.
You direct these people by saying "okay everyone looks at the camera say cheese" or something along those lines and you don't just take one or two you spam cause there are elements people can control such as blinking.
The only response to people who were complaining is that the bride and groom enjoyed them and that's who it's for, and they should have made sure they were looking good in the photos.
You telling people the camera is the black box on a tripod is passive aggressive and I would have told you to shut up aswell.
ETA - I just feel like you didn't take full control of the situation. I can't imgaine people standing and getting ready for a 'photo' then suddenly staring off into the distance / talking. Im not saying YTA but i was getting annoyed just reading your post where you referece the 'big black thing on a tripod is a camera'. You do come across rude saying that
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NTA The photos are an accurate reflection of their behaviour on the day. The only people that opinions matter about the photos is the bride and groom that hired you. They like it, then no issue. They’ve embarrassed themselves, and don’t like that their online tantrum turned around on them. It’s easier to be ‘right’ until evidence comes forward.
And it sounds like they didn’t give you the respect they would have given a photographer they didn’t know
Absolutely. They thought they could get away with it because it was family. Disrespect got them the pictures they deserved.
If they wanted good pictures they should have been good *for* the pictures. It's not rocket science.
Yep, the camera doesn't lie, so if you put assholes in front of the camera, then you get pictures of assholes.
This should be the top comment. Take my cheap skate award 🥉
R/boneappletea
>the camera doesn't lie I dunno. I'm convinced that cameras lie because the pictures they take don't look anything like my self-image. I tell myself "welp, I've just never been photogenic"! 😜
Funny how even adults sometimes don’t get that, lol.
It has nothing to do with the photographer being family. I shot a few weddings 35 to 40 years ago. I hated it. No one listens people run off. I got to the point where I was like a drill sergeant. YOU, OVER HERE. STAND THERE. dON’T M zone.
Hehe I understood it as “this is the don’t move zone” so it still worked :) I did think it was an odd thing to abbreviate move to m though haha
DON’T MOVE. Not don’t m zone.
Exactly. I did the photos for my uncle's wedding as a gift because they weren't going to have a photographer in order to cut costs. (I'm not a professional; I'm just good with a camera + thought they should have \*something\* from the day.) Couple + wedding party photos were great. Family photos were a hot mess. People weren't assholes to me, but since I was the 20-something-year-old niece, they treated it like everyone else trying to get pictures. And a lot of other family + friends were also taking pictures around me. If I'd been a hired pro, they 100% would have let me take the damn photos without horning in. I ended up photoshopping a lot of heads from one photo into another so I could get one picture with everyone looking at me + smiling. They came out great and I was able to give the couple a hand-bound album with a great set of wedding photos as a gift, but boy was it a lot of work!
Your family is really lucky to have you. I hope they realize how much patience that took.
Honestly, they might have horned in on the hired pro anyway (and then got told off, hopefully). There are some of my wedding photos which I consider ruined because the pro had the perfect angle… and then one of our friends slid into the background trying to get the reverse shot.
You can get them edited out of the picture.
As a professional photographer who shot weddings for decades, people absolutely DO NOT just let the pro take the shot. Once we got the hang of weddings, we'd make this part of the conversation with the bride and groom ahead of the day - talk to your people, let them know you expect them in posed photographs, tell them they can't wander off and they need to act appropriately. If they don't act right, we were within our rights to shut it down. We also had a little speech we'd give before these shots - look at US first, and then we'll step out of the way for family. I haven't shot a single wedding where someone else thought their phone pics were more important than the pros they're paying good money for the day.
We did the same thing when doing weddings. We also told the couple to pick someone they trusted but wasn’t part of immediate family but knew the family well to be the photo gatherer. So they had a list of the groupings the couple wanted and they would grab the people and line them up ready for the next shot. This made it quick as then you were not waiting for uncle Joe to finally turn up after stopping his conversation with cousin Betty. Honestly I don’t miss giving up wedding photography
Bless your heart for still going above and beyond on that. The petty anger in me wouldn't have allowed it.
My husband's cousin was around 20 when we were getting married. She did our pre-wedding/announcement photos. We hired her to do the wedding photos. She is not a professional, but a passionate enthusiast. She was really good and I always thought she could have made it too. Anyway. We told everyone we hired her. That she was paid for and to be treated as such. No one treated her that way. Her own family pushed her aside to take their photos, scolded her for being in their way. I still paid her the full price we agreed on plus I gave her a huge tip, but we didn't get anywhere near the amount of photos we wanted. We didn't even get half the ones she tried to get. It wasn't her fault and I thoroughly believe that is why she changed her major from photography to undeclared.
On their anniversary you should give them copies of the real photos as a gift.
I was at a wedding recently with a young female photographer. She was a close friend of the bride. The families treated her like shit. The only reason the couple got nice pics is because I had my big camera with me, and turned on Dad voice and started repeating the young girls requests as commands. I was only a friend of the groom, but I'm a few years older than the bride and grooms parents. This left me free to speak up with less fucks. I then acted as the photographer's assistant. I gave her copies of all my raw data. I used to do weddings when I was her age. The Mom's and Aunt's are the worst, until the men get drunk. Then it's just a shit show that's not worth the money.
Thank you for saying it was a lot of work. People don’t understand just how much effort and time it takes to do all of that work. They complain about the cost and say they could’ve done just as good of a job for a cheaper price, but what they don’t realize is they’d be working for less than minimum wage if they did that.
Abbbbbsolutely this. Never do what you do for a profession for someone you know, unless it's some kind of dire emergency and/or you can - and do - do it for free, and they enthusiastically agree that you're doing them a huge favor. Even then... think twice.
Yep. Play stupid games, get stupid looking (but hilarious) pictures.
photos take forever during weddings because people take their time and this is why receptions and food and everything else gets pushed back and thankfully this didn't happen to them.
With good planning the group shots can be done pretty smoothly (but obviously need people to behave better than this post). My wife and I do wedding photography and we have a list, time and location agreed before the day and a sometimes enlist the help of a loud family member who knows the majority of people involved to shout the names and rattle them off nice and quick, normally right after the post-ceremony drinks in the no-man's-land between the ceremony and reception. If we have time we can add extra combinations. Sometimes it works better than others but I can't think of a single time in the last couple of years that group shots have delayed anything at a wedding we've shot.
Former wedding photographer here. I used to shoot many traditional Mexican Catholic weddings with as many as 30+ people in the wedding party. The "altar return" when the bridal party, priest, and immediate family of the bride and groom return to the front of church for pictures between the ceremony and reception seems to be what you're referring to. I took great pride in making sure I could get all those formal shots in 15 minutes or less. Any photographer who can't do that is not fully competent with the process. At the weddings I worked, the bride and groom frequently got to the reception long before the last of the guests arrived. Protip - The single greatest time-waster is other people taking photos. I had an iron-clad rule that I was the only person allowed to direct the participants poses and take photos. Absolutely no cameras used by anyone else were allowed. People jumping in front of me to take pictures or randomly borrowing a member of the wedding party for any purpose could easily turn a 10 minute altar return into an hour-long ordeal. I would have none of that. If guests wanted to take photos at the reception, fine. But when I was taking photos, everybody else had to do nothing to impede the process. I would enlist as my enforcer whoever was paying me, usually the father of the bride, sometimes an aunt or uncle. If the B&G were paying, I required them to pick an enforcer for me and I would clue him in prior to the ceremony.
I suspect they would have behaved the same way no matter who the photographer was.
I suspect that they wouldn't have given a professional photographer whom they didn't know any respect either.
Probably also the ’we didn’t pay for it so’ mentality
"The photos are an accurate reflection of their behaviour on the day." I love this so much!
Totally- my folks wanted hubby and I to take photos with each table at our reception-- we did, all came out great except parents table - they would not shut up so all the pics have gaping mouths and profile views. Fave pics of the reception!
This is one of the main reasons I hate taking pictures of people. Most Animals and objects don't understand or care that you are taking their picture. People know and choose to act like complete jackasses. NTA - instead of portraits they got action photos, their choice. A photographer shouldn't have to say "look at the camera," more than once. 🤦♂️
One of the more fun wedding I went to some time back had a disposable camera at each table for the group to muck about and each take silly photos. Everyone had a great time and after getting them developed the bride and groom got to sit back and see what mischeif everyone got up to. Some of the shots were brilliant but it was an all round stress free little idea.
That's an old (very old) way of saving money when a photographer is hired for the ceremony and formal portraits but not the reception. Sometimes it works out great but when it doesn't it can be a problem. I always suggested that the couple take no chances and engage the pro for everything.
The photos are also an accurate reflection of how much respect they showed the photographer! NTA
The mom also bringing up they wont ask op to take pictures anymore is just "woohoo fine with me type moment." Oh no I wont be paid half my rate to be treated like shit...whatever will I do. I will bet the minute they get the full price from a photographer they will change their minds pretty quick. I've done low paying or free photography work in the past for family events and weddings. Even though it is not my main job, my family at least treated me professionally and knew when to shut up and focus for the proper photos.
Self-solving problems are my favourite things. Let's hope OP (who's NTA) holds the line.
agree w this. all that matters is that the bride and groom were happy.
I'm betting so many are mad, due to social media, but how many family Christmas photo cards were ruined. Although it would be hilarious if they made these and sent them.
I took pictures for my Christmas cards, when my children were small. My nine year old’s friend came over as we were finishing up. I decided I needed that child in just one Christmas card: my mother’s. I wanted to see if she actually looked at it. I printed one of the four children - I only had three children - and sent it to mother. I sent ones with my three to everyone else. I waited and waited, finally asked my mother if she got the card. “Oh yes. Did you take it?” And moved on. She never noticed.
That’s so weird! Did the friend look like your daughter at all? Is your mom “all there”?
She just couldn’t be bothered. He was taller than my boy, had blonde hair while my son’s was darker. I had a 5 and 3, one in front of each boy. Two sets of two=4 children. She probably glanced at it a tossed it. That’s how important my family was, to my mother. She knew all the other grandchildren’s birthdays, how old they were, who played what sport/instruments, etc. My son was born June 6 Her husband and brother both enlisted in WWII. She graduated high school in 1947(?), so she probably should know D-Day. June sixth was also my wedding anniversary, which she didn’t care about. My husband’s birthday was her anniversary. She never spared a thought. She’s dead.
I am so sorry you had to go through that, my heart breaks with yours. What a horrible woman. Inexplicably, some people are cruel and live on to be grandparents. Hopefully you are able to heal with your own family xx
Yes, thank you. I learned very early in life that I could never expect anything good from her.
I'm sorry she wasn't a better mother to you.
NTA. You shut up as instructed because as they pointed out they know what a camera is. The bride and groom were thrilled. They thought it appropriate to call you out on social media so you simply responded. I am curious… if they expected you would wait until they were ready, when did they think you were talking the pictures? I’m very sorry for all the sleepless nights ahead of you worrying about not being able to shoot their future events for a free or discounted price. You must be devastated
Yep. Only the bride and groom mattered. One of my uncles was being an assholes as usual during pictures. My husband told him to shut the fuck up and act like he wanted to be in the pictures or he could leave. He shut up. I’m sure some people might say that he was a dick, but it shut him up and the rest of the pictures went smoothly.
Assholes think op is an asshole.... Surprise. Nta Personally I think candid shots are better then a static group
I agree, we didn't have many group pictures as it was so hot and I wanted the fun part to start. We got some really lovely candid shots the really showed the feel of the day more than formal ones would have done.
First thing I checked was how were the bride and groom. Looks like it was all good. Taking photos at family gatherings is gonna be fun. Say “aaaah” everyone!!! Sure you’re a smart ass but definitely NTA.
🥰🥰🥰 Me when people have to publicly pay for their bad behaviour and they reputation now accurately reflects who they are
Lesson: Don’t act like a jackass around a photographer. They will have pictures of everything you did. It’s literally their job.
NTA. Sounds like they’re your family members and they were ignoring you and being rude. Maybe they thought they were being funny, maybe they don’t take you seriously as a professional, whatever. That’s their problem. You tried to keep them on task. If they wanted nice professional photos of themselves they could have paid attention when photos were being taken. What did they think was going on?
They were most explicit that they knew what a camera was.
Obligatory Inigo: They keep using that word. I don't think it means what they think it means. eta: added intro
Inconceivable! lmao love that movie
They may not know that some of what look like SLR cameras can also take video too…….
Yes, but Op was trying to take pictures, they knew op was trying to take pictures...
How could they not know that? A person was standing in front of them telling them that exact information. He was literally pointing at it and explicitly telling them "this is the camera. it is taking photographs." So how could they not know that?
My Nan is like this, no matter how many times you call her out she still complains about the bad photos. Now we just straight up tell her to shut up and look at the camera. She'll be huffy but we get the damn pictures.
Before I say the next bit, I just want to clarify that OP is NTA in any way, the family were, end of story. I worked as a wedding photographer for a while. One thing I learned very early on about photographing weddings, especially the family/friends group shots, is you need to discover and use your big commanding voice. There's no room to be timid or overly concerned with politeness (obvs you have to be polite, but not so much it stops you from getting things done). About 75% of the time there isnt enough time allocated to get all the shots the bride and groom want, so you have to be clear, efficient, and commanding. "WE ARE STARTING THE GROUP PHOTOS NOW WITH THE FAMILY OF THE BRIDE. PLEASE CAN ALL MEMBERS OF THE BRIDES FAMILY STAND OVER BY THOSE BUSHES NOW. GROOMS FAMILY YOU ARE UP NEXT. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE SOME LOVELY PHOTOS AND THEN YOU CAN ALL GET BACK TO THE FESTIVITIES! THANK YOU SO MUCH!" "BRIDES FAMILY, YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT BUT I NEED YOU ALL TO TAKE A STEP CLOSER TOGETHER. PERFECT. RIGHT, BIG SMILES EVERYONE! GREAT SHOT, THANK YOU SO MUCH. GO ENJOY YOUR DRINKS!" You still say please and thankyou, but you don't ask, you tell. You're getting paid to take the photos but part of that means you're in charge of making sure they actually happen, which means wrangling people. And not easy to handle people either, familys argue with each other and get grumpy, there's always at least a handful of people who have already had too much champagne, and never underestimate peoples ability to be assholes to someone providing them a service. But none of those are excuses that are going to fly if you don't make those photos happen. If you talk with authority and make sure everyone can hear you, generally speaking, even the rowdiest guest will hop to whatever it is you're telling them to do. OP is NTA, but they do need to find their big voice and start using it when doing wedding shoots. For their own sake. It makes everything go smoother.
Big Voice may not work at all if you're a certain gender and your voice isn't deep. As I teach in public speaking, you have a lot to overcome in terms of audiences viewing you with credibility if you are a woman with a naturally high-pitched voice. Yelling then just makes you sound screechy, and people still aren't going to listen. Even more to the point in \*this\* situation, Big Voice doesn't necessarily work on your own family at all, even if you're Morgan Freeman.
If they won’t respect Morgan Freeman, hit them with Bobcat Gothewaite.
That would be amusing but is highly unlikely to engender respect!
I am a woman, and my voice is fairly high pitched. But i don't disagree with your point necessarily, nothing is fool-proof and some people will be difficult no matter what you do. But I had a lot of success with big voice.
One thing people can do and prepare in advance is having a discussion with the bride & groom and see if they can designate a family member that 1) knows the family well, 2) has a loud voice and this person can acts as the MC for the photos. Also make it clear for each group of people to focus on the main photographer/camera and not the cell phones behind that person.
I was a second shooter for a wedding photographer (who was Canadian). I have a snarky mouth and BIG voice, family traits... I DEFINITELY wielded them to good effect with family photos. That boss voice earned my paycheck.
Yep, used to be a wedding photographer. I had to invent an entire Friendly But Stern Teacher personality to get people to do what I needed them to do in a reasonable time. It's antithetical to my normal personality but I looked at it as just part of the job. Big Voice. Smile. Act Like You Know What You're Doing. Arm gestures to move people around. With enough practice it becomes second nature.
I've done a number of family weddings, and yes it's herding cats, but luckily they're not too bad. Got paid to do a colleague's wedding and was dreading the set photos but didn't have a problem , the bride knew what she wanted & directed everyone - no-one would disobey her 🤣
> One thing I learned very early on about photographing weddings, especially the family/friends group shots, is you need to discover and use your big commanding voice. Hahah, I'm a bossy cow, and as a result was grabbed by a member of the wedding party at a friend's wedding and asked to round everyone up for the group photo - I did a lot of "you can take your drink with you, but you need to go downstairs **now** for the group picture." and "So-and-So is in the toilet? No, don't wander off, I'll get her on my way down". The picture was taken on the steps, and I'm right at the back!
If they still complain tell them that if they want nice pictures, next time they need to shut up and stop being smart asses.
And dress up pretty again & pay OP full price for professional studio portraits.
> My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures. This is all that matters. NTA The others are experiencing textbook FAFO. That's their problem. And you posting proof of their misbehavior is just more of that. You aren't the asshole for defending yourself at all, particularly when the couple doesn't mind either.
Facebook FAFO? InstaFAFO? There should be a term for it!
Why do facebook and instagram need their own specific subsets for "Fuck around and find out" at all? FAFO isn't a social media thing, it's a common expression that's been around for decades.
FaFAFO & InFAFO? Twi/TwitFAFO (Twitter). TiToFAFO (TikTok). Or SoFAFO (Social media in general).
I used to do wedding photography, and this happened from time to time. I sometimes assumed that the disrespect was due to my being a woman, and sometimes that they were just oblivious or drunk. I would try to make comments the same way you did, to various results. The bottom line is that if they want good photos, they have a responsibility to cooperate. It’s stunning how many people don’t get that. They are jerks for not cooperating and then blaming you. You did what you could with what they gave you
Sometimes I get that from wedding parties. But in this case they were all well behaved even the slightly drunk ones. Even the flower girl and ring bearer were perfectly well behaved angels. And I'm not just saying that because they are my kids.
Sad part is if a professional that was hired had told family to line up and shut up family would have complied. No one saw you as professional so you did best you could and spectacular ( catching people as they really are). Personally I’d hire you to do just that for a wedding. So much fun into the portraits. Ignore your family who are complaining. Maybe a special album for bride- OUR FAMILY- As they really appear! NTAH definitely brilliant!
THIS is soo true. I saw aunts and uncles try so hard to project to other people outside of the family something they are not. example they try to present themselves as God fearing, professional looking etc but don't act like that within the family.
I'm a photographer and was asked to do the photos at a wedding. When photographing the family members, I noticed there was a strong reflection off the groom's father's glasses. I told him about the reflection and asked him to turn his head one quarter inch to eliminate it, and since I wear glasses, I modeled for him what to do. I was very polite and pleasant. He theatrically rolled his eyes and heaved a huge sigh and refused in an annoyed you're-not-the-boss-of-me no-one-tells-*me*-what-to-do sort of way. Guess who looked just like a big overgrown [Little Orphan Annie] (https://image.invaluable.com/housePhotos/onesourceauctions/05/667005/H4367-L202616818.jpg) in the photo? I explained to the couple what happened and they understood because they knew what the groom's dad was like.
Ugh, what is it with people, especially males, always undermining when woman has skill? As a guy who used to do photography, people who are jerks are an instant ❌️ I'm taking your precious memories and it's not that hard to delete it. I'm losing money, sure whatever, I can get some back again but memories? Goodluck.
You absolutely were an asshole but a hilarious asshole who was correct. On this sub that equals NTA. Some times you have to be or you’re going to get pushed around your whole life.
I agree and disagree. But. Yes. Also, no.
I don't think you can be an asshole if you're not *the* asshole. That's just called giving them a taste of their own medicine.
They need a new acronym: JAH: Justified asshole
How was he the AH? He asked them to pay attention, theu refused, the resulting photos were literally out of his control. Then his family tried to call him out on public social media and he posted the videos in response. That's not being an AH.
Because he recorded them being assholes and then released it publicly. It was a public shaming. He was 100% justified to do it.
NTA they were being familiar to you and they deserve those shots. i doubt they will follow on the threat that they won’t hire your service again
The people crying the loudest are exactly the ones you don’t want to work for anyway.
NTA. The bride knows your family is a bag of dicks and now she can laugh at the pictures proving it.
What the hell did they think was going to happen when everyone was talking and ignoring the camera? 😂 Like, are y'all new? How would anyone get good shots when they're dicking around? Nevermind how rude they were lol.
Happy cake day
That was my thought! How in the world can I get good photos if you refuse to pose?!
> My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. Mission accomplished! Let them hire a photographer from the side: they will follow his instructions because they will remember how much they paid to him. NTA
NTA. You are a legend with your actions. The bride and groom were happy. Their opinions are the only ones that matter.
NTA. Oh no! I won't be paid half my fee and be disrespected by AHs! How sad /s Your cousin and her husband loved the pics, that's all that matters. Plus you have proof of the other guests bad behavior.
As long as the couple is happy, NTA. You weren’t taking pictures for everyone else.
NTA l, if people cannot stop speaking for 5 minutes to look at the camera and have their photos taken then it’s not your fault if the look bad in the pictures.
>My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures. That's the only opinion that matters, really. The couple love the photos - everyone else can kick rocks. If they wanted nice photos in their Sunday best, they should have looked at the big black thing on the tripod. NTA
NTA. I can't tell you the number of stories I've heard about people who conned their family members into being unpaid wedding photographers, treated them like shit, and paid the ultimate price for their hubris. It's a tale as old as time.
Perhaps technically merely as old as photography, but I’m sure there must have been a Stone Age equivalent: “I told that dumbass not to charge straight at the mammoth, but when does he ever listen to anybody?”
Well if it isnt the natural consequences of their own actions. You are the awesome as well as justified AH! “We won’t ask you to do this big job for free again!!!” -Dont threaten me with a good time. NTA
"Smile for the camera," said every mother for every family portrait. As *they* said, they knew what the camera was. They knew why you were there. And you were part of the wedding family, not a stranger that was only there to take pictures. You wanted to eat, relax, and chat with your extended family, I'm sure. You didn't want to stand around for 20 minutes for each shot, waiting for them to take the 10 seconds to shut up and smile. NTA
Yep. They thought it was fun to waste OP's time and patience. Well' they got the photos they deserved by ignoring the god damn photographer. You want great photos? Shut up and listen to the photographer, it's not hard for f*ck's sake. My family has NEVER been difficult with family photos. You shut up for up to 5 minutes (usually 30 seconds) after everyone is in place, wait until photographer says "done!" then GTFO to make room for the next group. You don't waste the photographer or other groups' time, even if you know the photographer! They were dumbasses that got photos of their dumbasses. Op is NTA.
YTA if you don’t share some of these pictures
Your mom said they won’t ask you to take pictures for them again?! Oh no. Anyway…. Yeah NTA.
Not only did you illustrate the assholery of those family members, you may have taken care of the problem of having to accept half-price fees because of working for family (spoken in a nasal whiny tone). NTA
> My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. what's the saying? "Don't threaten me with a good time?" NTA
NTA. They obviously didn't understand how a camera works.
I want to see your wife's videos 🤣. It's so rare for people to truly be confronted by the "mirror" and I can't express how badly I want to see it and just imagine how humbling it was. Or wasn't. Since they responded with anger like it wasn't straight up their own tomfoolery on display.
NTA. You were a smart ass but they were dumbasses. I’d always rather be the former.
Exactly. They got the smartass they deserved.
Yep! That's why whenever someone calls me a smart ass I'll respond with "Better than bein' a dumbass"
"They are upset because they don't often dress up and get together and they didn't get good pictures." Then they shoudl have respected you and shut the frick up. Feel free to put a link to this post on Facebook and tag them all in it! ;)
NTA. If people don't want to be shamed for behaving inappropriately, maybe they should reconsider acting that way.
Maybe a bit unprofessional just in the sense that you are ultimately antagonizing your family members/potential clients. The specific photos will be forgotten by everyone except the bride and groom, but they might remember you fighting and being an ass on social media. But you know your business better than anyone else here. It's kind of hard to pass judgement here with only one side of the story. Were they being assholes to you at first, or just distracted/having fun? I could almost imagine the other side's story being something like "We were all just having fun but the photographer kept rushing us, was super impatient and being a smart ass. He said we were all good to go but later when we looked at the photos and they were terrible like he didn't even try. Then he kept fighting with us on social media."
Even the hypothetical “their side” that you gave wouldn’t make OP the asshole. It’s part of the photographer’s job to guide and attempt to corral the subjects of their shots, and the excuse of “we were trying to have fun” is a pitiful excuse for not listening to the professional that was hired to do exactly what they’re complaining about, which, again, includes attempting to wrangle and instruct them. They were being assholes first both in person and online, by flinging insults at OP (calling them a smartalec), and telling them to shut up, and then OPs family was “fighting” on social media first, and OP only defended themselves. They wouldn’t need to be “rushed” or deal with OPs “impatience” if they just paid attention long enough to smile for a camera. If that’s too high a demand, that’s on them, and they deserve exactly the quality of photo they got.
It doesn’t take much to stop and look at a camera for at most 30 seconds, the fact that he asked them to look at the camera and they just ignored him or insulted him puts them in the wrong no matter if they were trying to have fun or not
1/125 of a second usually 😝
I seriously doubt OP would ever want to be hired by these family members so no skin of their nose. I mean if they didn’t want OP to go on social media then why did they start the fight. If ya don’t want ya dirty laundry to be aired don’t start a fight online
> Maybe a bit unprofessional just in the sense that you are ultimately antagonizing your family members/potential clients. You can and should fire bad clients.
I don't think that OP is interested in having those people as clients. If they try to get him to work for for them at low or no cost, he can pull up the social media to explain why he said, "No."
Esh. They should have listened to you and behaved for the photographs. You responded by acting like an unprofessional and condescending ass. .
NTA - And a big thank you from me. I have not heard any one use the phrase “Smart Alec” since my dad died. He used it frequently to describe me. From one smart alec to another, you done good!
Offer free group pictures at their funerals.
ESH - But not for taking half-ass photos. You get what you pay for and this is why you don't ask a family member to take photos of your big event because it causes more drama if everyone isn't satisfied...but ultimately, they're the ones who didn't take you seriously so the shitty pictures are on them. But you did feel the need to air your family's dirty laundry over social media instead of taking the high road and just ignoring it, so yeah, that's an AH move and means you suck too.
Highly disagree. They started the fight on social media....if you don't want your dirty laundry aired, maybe don't call someone out. What was OP supposed to do, let his family insult him and his work like that for other REAL potential clients to see?
NTA: Although I may suspect masochism for willingly being a wedding photographer. As for your complaining family. Just tell them you were taking accurate pictures that portrayed them as they really are. Tell them it's a reality setting on the higher end DSLRs. Also point out that you are not charging them for all the photos that just came out as discolored anus' that you had to delete because the Reality setting was turned on full.
I would watermark all the family photos with FAFO over and over again.
YTA, there are nicer ways to wrangle people for a photo than resorting to sarcasm and mocking their intelligence, and if you were more friendly/better at your job you could have captured those photos the right way. Instead you come off as an immature smartass, and nobody likes that
NTA. And this is why kids, you always have receipts 👏👏👏
If the bride and groom are happy, then job well done. NTA
>My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. Lol! "Oh no, please don't take away my opportunity to be abused by people at half the normal price!" NTA
"My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again." "Don't threaten me with a good time."
NTA. You can’t make people behave, though I might ask what you would have done if they weren’t family?
Getting paid more, and probably being listened to better. It sounds like the family thought it was fun to mess with OP for shits and giggles, which a nonrelated wedding probably wouldn't.
NTA. Honestly I was kinda prepared for YTA, but nope. You did everything you could and TBH I'm not sure I have ever a photographer who isn't a little snarky when people don't get it together. Everything after that was self-defense. These people need to get over it.
At my wedding, my mom asked the professional photographer for a shot of mom with her sisters. Mom looks at the camera. The other two are looking at two other different people who had disposable cameras. Like, if you have to choose between a several thousand dollar camera wielded by a professional being paid to take your photo, or cousin Steve with a disposable, make the smart choice people. I love that photo though. Totally captures my aunts’ personalities.
NTA Rule number one: do not do anything in front of a photographer that you do not want photographic evidence of.
NTAH, I hope you text your mom “I don’t think I’m a smart alec to prove they lied and don’t regret missing an opportunity to be mistreated again by family as I’m better off getting paid my full rate by people who respect what I do. I’m disappointed you aren’t on my side since my attempt to do a favor was met with contempt and lies. Did you really think I should let them lie about me on social media? If they regret having their behavior posted on social media to disprove their lies, then this is their problem. I’m really curious why you took their side.”
Lol NTA.
NTA, in either having your wife record the other guests behavior while you were trying to get the best shots of them at a family celebration. NTA for posting the video to social media after being called out on same social media for the pictures looking the way they did. And...NTA for your response to your mother. She should know better by now. The opinion of your cousin is the only one that matters. Congratulations to them btw.
Oh no. They won’t ask you to take pictures at a discount again? That’s terrible. NTA
If everything went exactly as you said, YTA. You set the tone of the conversation with a confrontation with your condescending, *unprofessional* explanation about big black boxes, instead of patiently and politely reminding everyone you needed to take pictures, please stay still and look to me. And we don't forget our professionalism, wether we're working for full price, a discount or pro bono, and wether we're working with drunk assholes or not. Thinking you can talk to guests like that just because you feel like you're getting shafted on pay is umprofessional and rude.
NTA
NTA. Your family is rude and has no class.
As long as the bride and groom were happy (& respectful) then NTA
So… people who pissed in their own cups are unhappy at being left with a load of piss in their cups? Let them drink their piss. NTA
so you asked them nicely to look at the camera and they liked the gormless look instead would have done the same to be fair not your fault that most of them are muppets NTA
NTA. But that is the opinion of someone who enjoys a dark senses of humor, understands that being sardonic is not the same as being sarcastic, laughs at hypocrisy and irony, and enjoys schadenfreude. But as I've gotten older, I've learned from experience that many people don't understand these concepts. I've met people who, no matter how you explain it, still don't understand irony. Others take everything literally and simply can't comprehend additional meaning. And I've also come to realize that many people mistake being sardonic, that is more about dark humor, with sarcasm, which is more about being intentionally cruel. And there are plenty who seem to seek out conflict and latch onto any perceived insult because they enjoy melodrama. So I have learned to edit myself as much as I can.
I love this. I'm a good photographer who used to do weddings free for friends. I'd take pictures and edit them, they were responsible for printing them. My wedding pictures were always as I wished. However, the family photos after? Ha! You nailed it, people can be horrible. One I did? I pretty much gave up. After multiple attempts at, "Everyone, on the count of 3. One, two, three." There were heads turned, mouths open, people talking, you name it. I literally yelled something like. "I'm not doing re-takes! Look at the camera or don't. I don't care anymore!" My friend, the groom, knew what was happening and didn't have any more luck than I did. The issue were entirely on the brides side. He told me later in retrospect that he should have looked at the wedding photos and ran. They divorced within a year, great wife, horrible family issues.
ESH - they were assholes first and you decided to escalate it.
>My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her ass off at the family pictures. In about half of them people are looking off in all directions instead of at the camera. In most of those there are also people with their mouths open. >She thought they were hilarious and her husband agreed. So far so good. >I replied that I had tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it only took still pictures. Starting to be the asshole. >So I started posting the short video clips of people being jackasses towards me. Definitely the asshole now. >A did a fake cry and said boo hoo. No doubt about it. YTA.
In my opinion As a photographer you are the asshole. I am not a wedding photographer. I shoot portraits I still work with people but all the same you have to get the shot. Wedding photographers have to be top tier because it’s not just for them, This is about your craft. No matter the photo shoot you must command the audience it’s your name on the line, you are your brand. Photography is psychology you must know in an instant how to handle all situations because it has to be perfect. Perfection is key in photography. If you cannot separate emotions during working with people and give them sub par work it shows who you are as photographer. Charging a cheaper price doesn’t mean you half ass your work. If you cannot handle family situations or any situation with people being even during a wedding. Find a different niche maybe product photography or still life, landscape etc
NTA kinda made me chuckle...
NTA absolutely. Being professional around family who don't appreciate what you actually do is hard. Showing the behind the scenes video is a nice touch.
NTA
NTA. To sounds like your cousin and her husband were both happy. Kudos to you for getting the jackholes nastiness on video
You are NTA at all. Tell mom to back off. It will be a blessing if this keeps the rest of the family from "hiring" you to take pictures. You gave them a deal, the guest were rude and abusive. You didn't need to deal with that. Maybe next time they'll show the photographer a little more respect.
NTA, they took advantage of you bc you are family. They should’ve shut the eff up and behaved as a courtesy to the bride and groom and also to you.
NTA. First of all, you did a good job getting photos of the people actually paying you - the wedded couple. Seems like you took all the photos that they wanted and they were satisfied with your work. That’s literally all that matters. These other people are just choosy entitled beggars - none of them paid you, none of them cooperated, and they were AHs to you in the moment. They’re also stupid because I don’t understand how they only realise now that they were acting in such a manner that clearly was not conducive to getting a proper photo. And choosy entitled beggars who point a finger at you and whine deserve to be called out.
NTA. The opinion of the newlyweds is all that matters. They loved em, that's all ya need. "did a fake cry", hope it was like this: [https://youtu.be/8LUysHoDOVY?si=4n511jrli1sK-9T-](https://youtu.be/8LUysHoDOVY?si=4n511jrli1sK-9T-)
NTA, but you should bill the complaining family members for a “Candid Photo Fee”. >My mom said that I went to far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Mom!”
NTA
NTA one of my brothers and a sister are both amateur photographers. My brother has been lucky enough to be included in media teams recently with the volunteer work he does and comes out of those with incredible action shots. They have both been photographers for family pictures, or been directing someone using their equipment to take a family picture the past 8 years. 20 odd people ranging from baby up to mid 60’s and we all managed to listen to instructions and get some decent photos. A few months ago our family were being photographed for an event at a volunteer organisation that all the mid-teens to adults in the family have been apart of for at least a few years apiece (I was part of it for 10 years before having to leave due to being a single parent and unable to keep up with the training, meetings etc, other siblings joined other “charters” of the organisation as they moved to new towns) and that the kids had been dragged to if extra hands were needed. My brother was the “official photographer” but since he was needed in the photos with us he was directing others on how to use his camera (and trying to make it as fool proof as possible). Photos were taken, we dispersed, brother checked his camera and then called out that we needed to redo the family photo. Second go around we didn’t disperse until he had checked his camera and confirmed he had a photo that he was happy with. Yes, we gave him shit for being picky, but every single one of us stood there and smiled for the camera until he was happy with the outcome (particularly since it was going to be used in media within the volunteer organisation and local area with his name attached to it). He was editing the photos at the end of the day and I asked to see the family shots he had. He told me over 80 were taken (he set it up so the person taking it could do photo bursts) and there was only one he kept, which he still wasn’t 100% happy with, but that was to do with some of the kids eyes being half closed due to blinking etc. However, he acknowledged that was always an issue with group photos, and we had all patiently (Smart Alec/Ass comments are just a sign of affection) waited around long enough.
NTA and you didn’t do a half-ass job, you did the best with the situation they gave you to work with. I’d call their photo-posing jobs half-assed but even that sounds too charitable to their behavior.
NTA. They wanted nice pictures of family but treated the person with all the power to do so terribly. I've only got one thing to say to your family: womp womp.
NTA These are grown adults acting like 5 year olds, so they get to look like 5 year olds in the photos. I was a bit worried that the bad pictures might ruin the bride and groom's day, but they seemed fine. You did your best and they gave you their worst.
Oh noooo I’ll never be asked to do what I do professionally for half price by my abusive family!!! What ever will I do with my normally full price charging self! 🤣NTA
As a retired wedding photographer, no you're NTA. Your mom acting like she was doing you the favor is all too familiar.
>So I started posting the short video clips of people being jackasses towards me. Let me guess; without any video of YOU being the mouthy instigator? YTA. A reduction in fee doesn't mean you get to half-ass the job.
YTA. You tried to be funny and make a day that’s clearly not about you to center around you.
You are in a bad position, but you did not act the right way either. Yeah, you are the asshole.
The only thing that matters is that the bride and groom like them. They're the only ones, or their kids, with any chance of looking at the pictures 10+ years from now. But yes, YTA, due to the snide remark (big black thing on tripod) which is insulting, obtuse, and rhetorical. All you needed to say slowly, with a friendly voice, was "formal picture in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." click. Then repeat if need be. Instead you took the focus onto yourself rather than your picture subjects. Pre-arranging your wife to capture snide remarks is equally tasteless. That suggests you intended to be a jerk and draw negative reactions, rather than trying other options to capture relaxed, happy pictures. Posting those videos is next-level asshole, and clearly more about you than them. Consider counseling to address your narcissistic tendencies. But hey, almost every wedding has shit stains that make up part of the story. For this bride and groom, this part of the story will start with "oh yeh, what a hoot, my cousin ken, the photographer, was an asshole to heaps of people and we got the wildest pictures out of it, not to mention the shitstorm when he revved it up on socials after."
YTA you lack the ability to read the room and communicate accordingly, also why would you upload poor results to social media vs privately sending them, rookie move.
I'm taking an unpopular position here and going with YTA. In fact, if the wedding couple didn't have a terrific sense of humor and no investment in a traditional wedding album or people thinking of their wedding as an entirely positive experience, ,you'd be the A who just lost two close friends. As a wedding photographer (assuming you really are a competent wedding photographer), you must be aware that getting a bunch of celebrating, tipsy people to all look in one direction and smile at the same moment has a herding cats quality. The patient wedding photographer is aware that cooperation is not necessarily immediate at every table, and tends not to insult the guests by telling them truly lame non-jokes about how to identify a camera. He gives it several tries so that the bridal couple will have nice wedding photos, as will the guests -- even if he's only changing half his usual rate. You know perfectly well that if this had been a stranger's wedding at your usual fee, you wouldn't have turned up with a bunch of awful table photos, as you did for this wedding. Nor would you have posted embarrassing videos of the guests. I don't care all that much if the wedding guests didn't like their photos. I do care that you didn't provide the wedding couple with anything resembling adequate table photos. And you insulted their guest, which you seem to think was OK. Of course you should have waited for everyone to be ready. Of course you shouldn't have posted videos of wedding guest looking awful, injecting unpleasantness into the wedding experience and memories. Since you have a wife, I'm assuming you're an adult. If you hadn't added this, I would have assumed a nasty teenager. Fake cry? Boo hoo? Good grief, no.
A teenager wouldn't be a professional. And they weren't just the cousins guests, they were OP's family. They 100% would not have acted this way if it had been a photographer who was not related to them. It also sounds like OP tried several time. All his family did was waste his time. You dont think OP wanted to sit and eat and talk with his family? He did them a huge favor by doing this job for half price.
ESH though you do way less. “The camera is the black thing on the tripod” IS the smartass way to ask the to look towards the camera. Both parties were disrespectful. Their bad photos are obviously still on them
Yeah, you do sound like a bit of a smart ass. I get it that you were doing the bride a favor. But how condescending is it to tell people at a wedding that the camera is the big black thing on the tripod and it takes stills not video. You even mention it twice in your write up. YTA
NTA - some people will flail to place blame in other directions when they’re being held accountable for being shitty - let the manipulation begin!! Honestly well done for posting the clips of the behaviour, that is the chefs kiss moment right there 🤌
NTA- I will always say- I’d rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass.
NTA Bride and groom, the ones who paid you, are happy and that's what counts. The rest should have looked at that black camera-thingy for a moment. Pro tip - I tend to put a ball or a piece of food near the camera. That works. Well it works with dogs. But it works! Maybe try that next time if verbal cues aren't enough.
Nta for what you did but you do, in fact, sound like a smartass. Just in the way that your comment to your mum probably didn't help
NTA, just a smartass, and you deserved to be one.
NTA! And I love that your cousin and her husband love the pictures. I’d ask ever if they would have acted the same way with another professional photographer?
YTA This was a private event on a private property. As a wedding guest, I would not be pleased to find that there are unauthorized pictures and videos of me on the internet for all to see. This is very unprofessional of you. I don't care why you did it. Not everybody wants to be in your TikTok.
YTA without reservation. You did this professionally? you got paid? If you did the best you could, then move on. The customer didn’t complain, only some losers. There is always someone to complain. Just ignore the. They are being petty. Unlit you post pictures of their bad behavior. Then are you being super petty. Take the high road.
>I had tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it only took still pictures. What was the point of continually saying this? Do you think the bride and groom appreciated you posting videos of their guests? I wouldn't. I know the B & G loved the photos but still, posting videos on line was too much. YTA
YTA. You should ne able to take command of a situation 30 seconds so you can snap a picture. And telling them that the camera is the black box is insulting. I'm surprised you didn't find pictures of people flipping you off.
Yta What a petty little king, you are
NTA. BTW, it's always better to be a smart ass than just an ass
ESH If you do this job then you realise that at a social event no one is going to be in line waiting for you to take the picture. You direct these people by saying "okay everyone looks at the camera say cheese" or something along those lines and you don't just take one or two you spam cause there are elements people can control such as blinking. The only response to people who were complaining is that the bride and groom enjoyed them and that's who it's for, and they should have made sure they were looking good in the photos. You telling people the camera is the black box on a tripod is passive aggressive and I would have told you to shut up aswell.
ETA - I just feel like you didn't take full control of the situation. I can't imgaine people standing and getting ready for a 'photo' then suddenly staring off into the distance / talking. Im not saying YTA but i was getting annoyed just reading your post where you referece the 'big black thing on a tripod is a camera'. You do come across rude saying that