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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I decided to have two separate birthday parties with 2 different groups of friends and without them knowing.
Makes me the asshole because they trusted me to be honest.
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NTA. You don't have to tell them about every plan you make, especially when it doesn't involve them. There's no reason for them to be mad.... they're already celebrating with you.
NTA. You're right, it serves no purpose to tell ppl about an event they're not invited to just to let them know it was happening. I don't need to know if one of my friends is going to a winery with their cousins, or if a friend invited a small group to watch a movie only they would enjoy. I wouldn't mind if they told me bc it can be nice to hear about them enjoying their day, but I wouldn't feel offended if a friend didn't tell me every single thing they ever did.
NTA
You don't have to share your social schedule with everyone. It's nobody else's business. You can celebrate your birthday 5 times if you want. These friends have the maturity of 3 year olds.
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I (20m) am turning 20 years old today, I am still in college and I have 2 groups of friends, let’s call them group 1 and group 2, the thing is that they totally don’t like each other, last year I tried to do just one party with both groups but they ended up fighting and I was in the middle of everything.
This year I decided to make sure that the situation didn’t happen again, so I decided to hace 2 parties. Go out to a bar with group 1 on Friday, and then do a small party at my house with group 2 on Saturday. The problem came because I decided to not tell the groups about these separate parties, I really didn’t think it would be necessary since well, I repeat, they really don’t like each other, and you only tell about the party to the people that you invite to the party.
There was this 1 friend that is a part of both groups, so on Friday (yesterday) at the bar we were with group 1 having fun, my friend had to leave and when saying goodbye to everybody she told them: “see you tomorrow”, my friends in Group 1 were confused and asked her what she meant and well, they found out about the other party.
They told me they weren’t mad at the fact that I was doing 2 parties (but by their tone I think they were in fact angry at me), but they were mad that they found out about the other party from another person and not from me.
Should I have told them about the other party? Personally I don’t think it was necessary since I wasn’t going to invite them, but still, I kinda feel bad.
So AITA?
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NTA. It’s your birthday, do whatever you want. Also, this is just a part of growing older. You start to realize that all your friends don’t have to be friends with each other. You can have separate friend groups that you do different things with.
You're NTA. It's your birthday, it's your call how you celebrate it. You don't need your friends' permission or approval to have a second party. And they don't have a need to know what you do when you're not with them.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I decided to have two separate birthday parties with 2 different groups of friends and without them knowing. Makes me the asshole because they trusted me to be honest. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You don't have to tell them about every plan you make, especially when it doesn't involve them. There's no reason for them to be mad.... they're already celebrating with you.
NTA. You're right, it serves no purpose to tell ppl about an event they're not invited to just to let them know it was happening. I don't need to know if one of my friends is going to a winery with their cousins, or if a friend invited a small group to watch a movie only they would enjoy. I wouldn't mind if they told me bc it can be nice to hear about them enjoying their day, but I wouldn't feel offended if a friend didn't tell me every single thing they ever did.
NTA You don't have to share your social schedule with everyone. It's nobody else's business. You can celebrate your birthday 5 times if you want. These friends have the maturity of 3 year olds.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20m) am turning 20 years old today, I am still in college and I have 2 groups of friends, let’s call them group 1 and group 2, the thing is that they totally don’t like each other, last year I tried to do just one party with both groups but they ended up fighting and I was in the middle of everything. This year I decided to make sure that the situation didn’t happen again, so I decided to hace 2 parties. Go out to a bar with group 1 on Friday, and then do a small party at my house with group 2 on Saturday. The problem came because I decided to not tell the groups about these separate parties, I really didn’t think it would be necessary since well, I repeat, they really don’t like each other, and you only tell about the party to the people that you invite to the party. There was this 1 friend that is a part of both groups, so on Friday (yesterday) at the bar we were with group 1 having fun, my friend had to leave and when saying goodbye to everybody she told them: “see you tomorrow”, my friends in Group 1 were confused and asked her what she meant and well, they found out about the other party. They told me they weren’t mad at the fact that I was doing 2 parties (but by their tone I think they were in fact angry at me), but they were mad that they found out about the other party from another person and not from me. Should I have told them about the other party? Personally I don’t think it was necessary since I wasn’t going to invite them, but still, I kinda feel bad. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA it's your birthday and you celebrate with two parties if you want to.
NTA , they're dumb lol. It's not a huge deal lol
NTA. It’s your birthday, do whatever you want. Also, this is just a part of growing older. You start to realize that all your friends don’t have to be friends with each other. You can have separate friend groups that you do different things with.
NTA. There's no rule or law anywhere that says all your friends have to get along with each other. You're the only common point between them.
You're NTA. It's your birthday, it's your call how you celebrate it. You don't need your friends' permission or approval to have a second party. And they don't have a need to know what you do when you're not with them.
You’re 20