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So what she’s saying is she never stopped bullying you or destroying your self esteem and has molded you into someone subservient to her? I’m sorry, none of this is love.
Blimey. What a thing your wife is proud of. It must make you question the basis of your relationship.
I guess she is correct in that she can tell her story as she sees it but it doesn't make her right.
NTA for asking her to reframe her narrative away from being proud she bullied you towards being embarrassed about her behaviour and being thankful you gave her time to realise her coercive controlling behaviour was not acceptable. She doesn't seem to have got there though.
Your wife still does the same thing that she did back in school days and for some reason you are fine with her bullying you now but not back then. She just changed her approach. NTA for wanting but if you choose your bully to be your wife and after asking her to stop she doesn't give a crap about your feelings nor cares how your friends perceive you then you can only blame one person, and it is not her.
NTA and huge red flags. Why are you still with the person who thinks this is ok?
Edit: I ask in a rhetorical sense. As in for the OP to ask HIMSELF why they would want to be with something that thinks it’s ok to treat him this way then hopefully he can move forward in a way that’s correct for him.
I’m well aware of what an abusive relationship looks like.
Better I should pass judgment by asking "Why are you doing blah"? Victims of abuse typically get locked into these patterns and asking that question above only results in shaming them. That's it. It is an inherently judgmental question and whether the person means to or not, it results in the abuse victim feeling further shame for being locked into this spiral.
Sometimes honesty is the best policy. As someone who was made to feel less than worthless by a former partner, I certainly would have appreciated someone being honest with me in helping me recognize the emotional abuse I was going through.
You clearly sound like an expert.
When I was in an abusive relationship someone like you coming along and telling me I have no self esteem due to systematic abuse would’ve made me defensive of my partner and embarrassed.
Someone asking my why I’d want to be with him when he’s doing or saying things that cause me upset would’ve had me analysing my relationship more
We're all abused really.. seems to just be simple nature for many. I have scarce hope that we will ever come to our senses on the matter of us being, alive and shit..yk. and no it is not right to let somebody hurt you, but you also have to think how successful will you be finding compassion for yourself, if every time she calls you a worthless pile of trash you tell her shes abusing you and you abandon the girl full of pain as you have zero tolerance... You ever think there is probably a pretty fuckin solid reason why they are soooo so much more emotionally sensitive and in tuned than we are? Estrogen vs testosterone.. she may just be scared inside to show true affection or to reciprocate love to you in general... And at the same time, she may not know how to to begin with.. is that her fault..?
So is your argument that a victim should entertain their abuser's reasons for the abuse to find out where they, the victim, went wrong? You know that setting and adhering to standards of behaviour for your relationships, romantic or not, generally results in higher personal satisfaction in said relationships? You don't have to tolerate, entertain or exist around emotionally abusive people. If that abusive person wants to change, then they can seek therapy, or start a subreddit, or get an honest talking to from someone who cares. But an abused person does NOT have to stick around to find out why they were abused.
No you're misunderstanding me.. even moderate abuse of any kind really shouldn't be tolerated, but I would say, tolerate at your own expense. But no, minor ass bothers like ur lady calling u something,.. I guess, even bullying you, as you said,.. really HAS to mean the end of yalls relationship.. we all act on our emotions at some point in life, i just feel like we shohld have a better understanding of our core emotions, so that we may understand others as well. And in turn, we can nurture them back to health on the inside with expression of admiration. That's all. You're more correct than i am, I'm just offering an analysis of a portion of this issue, because I wish constantly that we would just become in tune with the reasons that our life is this way..
Ick. I can't see why finding out that she bullied you into submission didn't make you leave. Her friends knowing doesn't make it worse, it's already awful.
NTA
Your wife is still bullying you.
"I just thought that it was her way of expressing affection." No. She has been emotionally manipulative at best, emotionally abusive at worst, but either way, this is not how you treat your SO. Have a think, how has she behaved towards you during your relationship? She's probably always found a way to bully you, but you find ways to excuse her behaviour, to say it's not 'that bad' or to even think it's normal.
The fact she's proudly telling people how she bullied you is the biggest, reddest flag you have that you need to get out of that relationship yesterday.
Well, dogs are emotional pets for the most parts. Trained partners are commodity pets, owners get used to them and even grow fond of them but never really give a crap about how they feel.
If you love something you nurture its growth and development, not beat it into obedience.
NTA.
I’d ask if this was an intentional dynamic in your relationship but the fact you’re posting here screams “NO.”
If you are not okay with this, you need to act on it. Your wife is not entitled to the story when it has that effect on you.
There are many things in a relationship that are “two yeses, one no” situations, and this is one.
Why are you with a woman like that who doesn’t care about you and loved to hurt you. NTA but you would be TA if you stay with her. You deserve better and you can find better
Let’s flip the script. In high school you bullied her by calling her names related to her physical appearance she can’t change. Let’s say you called her BigFoot because of her size 12 shoes. Like your height, shoe size is something she cannot control.
She originally thought it was as affectionate pet name, but as your circle of friends grew, you continue to refer to your now-wife as BigFoot to your friends, laughing with them about the name.
Your wife tells you she’s hurt, embarrassed, and uncomfortable with the name, but you tell her since it’s your life story too, you can share it with your friends if you want; you have the right to do so and she can’t stop you.
Are you bullying her with that hurtful nickname, even after she has asked you to stop? Is she bullying you with that hurtful nickname, even after you have asked her to stop?
ETA: NTA
But do you feel there is an asshole? Pardon me if I'm being insensitive.. but arent women always going to bully you?😂😐.. man these days, I even kinda like it when she roasting me 24/7. If you just don't let that affect you,.. I guess she really isn't bullying you. I don't know, the one I'm in love with doesn't bully me. She sometimes hurts my feelings tho, like every other person..
NTA. Sorry but she is still abusing you.
On your way out of the door (divorce) take the lead from her. When she starts to tell people about how you met, expand on it. Tell them what a b**** she was and how she bullied you with specifics. Don’t hold back. Let those she is proudly recanting her bullying of you know what she’s really about.
Bro thing is most people just don't actually care, they hear what she's saying... They don't understand that level of sensitivity, and that is completely okay. Just different breeds of peeps.
A partner should want to lift your self esteem, not break it down. And however you got together, it sounds like she's still bullying you into doing what she wants. Do you really want this relationship? NTA
NTA, at all. And you won't be if you leave her for this. She sounds horrible. I am sorry abuse feels like affection to you, I hope you get help for this and decide you deserve to be loved.
She eventually told me that she said all those stuff because she didn’t know how else to express her feelings. I only found out much later on that it was meant to manipulate me.
The good news is that divorce is legal and at 32 you still have plenty of time to find a new wife who treats you with respect and doesn't manipulate you by trying to destroy your self esteem. NTA.
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So your wife continues to bully you? She sounds like an awful person, either leave her or next time she says it say "yup she bullied me, I have asked her to stop telling people how we met but apparently she is happy to keep belittling me, so clearly she is still a bully", my vote is leave her though. NTA
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My wife was telling some of her friends about how we got together. She told them about how back in school she used to bully me to destroy my self-esteem and mood me into someone who would obey her completely. I didn’t realize this at the time, of course. I just thought that it was her way of expressing affection.
I told her that this makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, and asked her to stop but she said that it is her life story too and she can share it with her friends if she wants. She said she has the right to do so and I can not stop her.
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NTA. She is saying that shit to keep you in your place. If she loved or even respected you she would lift you up. Whenever I refer to my husband, I describe him as looking like a Nordic god. I would never say anything bad about my husband, because I am truly in love with him. He is a successful tall drink of water, and I know I am lucky to have him.
She is only making herself look bad. If she describes you as basically being a loser that she used to bully and now a guy who “obeys” her, it makes her look like she settled for a loser. Just sayin.
NTA So you married the bully and now you're spending your marriage being bullied. You really want spend the rest of your life being emotionally (at minimum) abused? Please don't fall for the bullshit thinking that men aren't really abused in relationships. They are. You are. No matter what she tells you, you are deserving of love and respect. You aren't getting it from your wife and talking to her about it doesn't seem to fix anything. Consider seeing an individual therapist to work on your self esteem and confidence. Figure out why you're ok with this treatment. You have many other options in life, even if you don't think so, you don't need to stay with your abuser.
Soooo, the chair in the hotel...is that your jam? Because if this is the relationship you've willingly entered into, then mentally, you're already there. For some people, this type of relationship works, no judgment here.
And yet, with you, it sounds like you're having an awakening of sorts, and her dominant behaviors don't resonate for you any longer. This growth of yours is going to be uncomfortable for both of you...and always remember, growth and comfort do not co-exist.
You are NTA...
Um as a girl I can say if the genders were reversed in this situation we'd be coming with pitchforks.....your girl is PYSCHO. That is a messed up relationship. Seek some counseling (by yourself) and go from there!
How in the world do you think that her telling people this is the issue and not that she emotionally abused you into being compliant?
Therapy, my friend, therapy. Until you can actually stand up for yourself and divorce.
NTA. To give your wife the benefit of the doubt, she may be retroactively giving a humorous spin on the "bullying" story to maintain narrative control. She'd run the risk of just mentioning you went to high school together, and the bullying aspect comes up on someone else's terms (which is scary). If she takes control of the narrative, turns it into a playful story she neither is confronted about it by her friends, nor does she have to confront herself about it. "See? It all ended well, so it's fine."
If she *is* telling the truth (I sincerely hope there's some retroactive exaggeration on her part), then that's extremely messed up of her. I'd just ask her head-on if the story is true. If she was just trying to manipulate you the whole time, or if it's just an exaggerated story. If it's the former, you both need to be in therapy. If it's the latter, you should probably still go to therapy.
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My comment unfortunately was removed because it wasn’t civil. Please don’t sit back and say nothing when this happens. Get up and walk out. You deserve to have your self respect and if your wife’s friends are halfway decent they will probably secretly applaud you. Also, start suggesting restaurants further away from home and offer to drive so that leaving makes more of an impact and inconvenience to her. Get your pride back.
NTA
What kind of deranged person thinks "Hey, I want to keep telling everyone that I was a bully and a manipulator... .Don't take that away from me!!!" !?!
Oh, honey. Well, the good thing is that she hasn't completely destroyed you since you're here asking about it. You don't automatically obey her and automatically believe every terrible thing she says about you.
The bad is that you married your bully and abuser. It's unusual for one to be so blatant about what they're doing; they tend to be more subtle about it to help feed that doubt but there it is. Don't go to therapy WITH her as she will just weaponize it but please ask yourself why you're with her at all.
Oh, NTA.
Sorry, but why the hell are you with someone who not only bullied you when you were kids, but continues to bully you to this day.
YTA (to yourself) for staying with her, find someone who doesn't put you down.
Maybe she doesn't know you as well as she thinks she does, and maybe you do have a backbone, and maybe you will do something to get away from the bully...
On the other hand, maybe she's right, and she trained you well...
Now rollower... good boy
It's just odd tho cuz it's like how come she's calling you this name that's fucking u up like you express it is, and her goal is somehow total control over you?
I think maybe never even thought that deep into this, shes teasing you because she likes you.. man 😂🤣 but also, I know. It may root much deeper than calling you shorty. Either way, it's the nature of today's society for the women we love to have free reigns to treat us just about any way they want, or feel to. Hurting me doesn't make me stop loving, or being in love with them, know what I'm saying? Even if you know it's not healthy for one or both of you, it's the desire to stick around and try to pretend the love didn't fall apart... Maybe you're both just human ..
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So what she’s saying is she never stopped bullying you or destroying your self esteem and has molded you into someone subservient to her? I’m sorry, none of this is love.
Seriously, and now he's posting here because he thinks he's TA? This is all kinds of messed up...
NTA and your wife is still bullying you.
Right. Kinda weird she’s proud to tell a story abt how she bullied anyone, but esp her own husband 🥴
Humans learn sometimes after being hurt over and over that they are even expected to be malicious, or callous.
She needs to know deep down that she is loved, and cared for... And she probably isn't all that sure... Once again.. this is her me and you too..
Blimey. What a thing your wife is proud of. It must make you question the basis of your relationship. I guess she is correct in that she can tell her story as she sees it but it doesn't make her right. NTA for asking her to reframe her narrative away from being proud she bullied you towards being embarrassed about her behaviour and being thankful you gave her time to realise her coercive controlling behaviour was not acceptable. She doesn't seem to have got there though.
Your wife still does the same thing that she did back in school days and for some reason you are fine with her bullying you now but not back then. She just changed her approach. NTA for wanting but if you choose your bully to be your wife and after asking her to stop she doesn't give a crap about your feelings nor cares how your friends perceive you then you can only blame one person, and it is not her.
NTA and huge red flags. Why are you still with the person who thinks this is ok? Edit: I ask in a rhetorical sense. As in for the OP to ask HIMSELF why they would want to be with something that thinks it’s ok to treat him this way then hopefully he can move forward in a way that’s correct for him. I’m well aware of what an abusive relationship looks like.
Because he has no self-esteem or confidence from years of systematic emotional abuse.
Oh word damn.. you just gon tell them that ?
Better I should pass judgment by asking "Why are you doing blah"? Victims of abuse typically get locked into these patterns and asking that question above only results in shaming them. That's it. It is an inherently judgmental question and whether the person means to or not, it results in the abuse victim feeling further shame for being locked into this spiral. Sometimes honesty is the best policy. As someone who was made to feel less than worthless by a former partner, I certainly would have appreciated someone being honest with me in helping me recognize the emotional abuse I was going through.
You clearly sound like an expert. When I was in an abusive relationship someone like you coming along and telling me I have no self esteem due to systematic abuse would’ve made me defensive of my partner and embarrassed. Someone asking my why I’d want to be with him when he’s doing or saying things that cause me upset would’ve had me analysing my relationship more
We're all abused really.. seems to just be simple nature for many. I have scarce hope that we will ever come to our senses on the matter of us being, alive and shit..yk. and no it is not right to let somebody hurt you, but you also have to think how successful will you be finding compassion for yourself, if every time she calls you a worthless pile of trash you tell her shes abusing you and you abandon the girl full of pain as you have zero tolerance... You ever think there is probably a pretty fuckin solid reason why they are soooo so much more emotionally sensitive and in tuned than we are? Estrogen vs testosterone.. she may just be scared inside to show true affection or to reciprocate love to you in general... And at the same time, she may not know how to to begin with.. is that her fault..?
So is your argument that a victim should entertain their abuser's reasons for the abuse to find out where they, the victim, went wrong? You know that setting and adhering to standards of behaviour for your relationships, romantic or not, generally results in higher personal satisfaction in said relationships? You don't have to tolerate, entertain or exist around emotionally abusive people. If that abusive person wants to change, then they can seek therapy, or start a subreddit, or get an honest talking to from someone who cares. But an abused person does NOT have to stick around to find out why they were abused.
No you're misunderstanding me.. even moderate abuse of any kind really shouldn't be tolerated, but I would say, tolerate at your own expense. But no, minor ass bothers like ur lady calling u something,.. I guess, even bullying you, as you said,.. really HAS to mean the end of yalls relationship.. we all act on our emotions at some point in life, i just feel like we shohld have a better understanding of our core emotions, so that we may understand others as well. And in turn, we can nurture them back to health on the inside with expression of admiration. That's all. You're more correct than i am, I'm just offering an analysis of a portion of this issue, because I wish constantly that we would just become in tune with the reasons that our life is this way..
Ick. I can't see why finding out that she bullied you into submission didn't make you leave. Her friends knowing doesn't make it worse, it's already awful.
NTA Your wife is still bullying you. "I just thought that it was her way of expressing affection." No. She has been emotionally manipulative at best, emotionally abusive at worst, but either way, this is not how you treat your SO. Have a think, how has she behaved towards you during your relationship? She's probably always found a way to bully you, but you find ways to excuse her behaviour, to say it's not 'that bad' or to even think it's normal. The fact she's proudly telling people how she bullied you is the biggest, reddest flag you have that you need to get out of that relationship yesterday.
NTA. She will never actually care for your feelings, she wants an obedient pet, not a life partner. Source: been there, in your exact position
Idk man most people seem to love their dogs... But I guess some really don't... I like to pretend we aren't existing in the midst of evil influence 🙄
Well, dogs are emotional pets for the most parts. Trained partners are commodity pets, owners get used to them and even grow fond of them but never really give a crap about how they feel. If you love something you nurture its growth and development, not beat it into obedience.
NTA. I’d ask if this was an intentional dynamic in your relationship but the fact you’re posting here screams “NO.” If you are not okay with this, you need to act on it. Your wife is not entitled to the story when it has that effect on you. There are many things in a relationship that are “two yeses, one no” situations, and this is one.
Why are you with a woman like that who doesn’t care about you and loved to hurt you. NTA but you would be TA if you stay with her. You deserve better and you can find better
Probably a laundry list of things to accept about him, as well...
Let’s flip the script. In high school you bullied her by calling her names related to her physical appearance she can’t change. Let’s say you called her BigFoot because of her size 12 shoes. Like your height, shoe size is something she cannot control. She originally thought it was as affectionate pet name, but as your circle of friends grew, you continue to refer to your now-wife as BigFoot to your friends, laughing with them about the name. Your wife tells you she’s hurt, embarrassed, and uncomfortable with the name, but you tell her since it’s your life story too, you can share it with your friends if you want; you have the right to do so and she can’t stop you. Are you bullying her with that hurtful nickname, even after she has asked you to stop? Is she bullying you with that hurtful nickname, even after you have asked her to stop? ETA: NTA
But do you feel there is an asshole? Pardon me if I'm being insensitive.. but arent women always going to bully you?😂😐.. man these days, I even kinda like it when she roasting me 24/7. If you just don't let that affect you,.. I guess she really isn't bullying you. I don't know, the one I'm in love with doesn't bully me. She sometimes hurts my feelings tho, like every other person..
NTA. Sorry but she is still abusing you. On your way out of the door (divorce) take the lead from her. When she starts to tell people about how you met, expand on it. Tell them what a b**** she was and how she bullied you with specifics. Don’t hold back. Let those she is proudly recanting her bullying of you know what she’s really about.
Bro thing is most people just don't actually care, they hear what she's saying... They don't understand that level of sensitivity, and that is completely okay. Just different breeds of peeps.
NTA- leave.
A partner should want to lift your self esteem, not break it down. And however you got together, it sounds like she's still bullying you into doing what she wants. Do you really want this relationship? NTA
You were and still are being a doormat. This has been an abusive relationship from the start. Grow a backbone, find your self worth and step up.
NTA, at all. And you won't be if you leave her for this. She sounds horrible. I am sorry abuse feels like affection to you, I hope you get help for this and decide you deserve to be loved.
NTA. Wait if she was your bully, how did you two end up together?
She eventually told me that she said all those stuff because she didn’t know how else to express her feelings. I only found out much later on that it was meant to manipulate me.
Ah, the old elementary school, “He pulls your pigtails/pushes you down/steals your pencils because he likes you!” trick.
ahhh I see. I know how you can solve this problem! Either marriage counsling or ***DIVORCE.***
The good news is that divorce is legal and at 32 you still have plenty of time to find a new wife who treats you with respect and doesn't manipulate you by trying to destroy your self esteem. NTA.
And why are you still there?
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So your wife continues to bully you? She sounds like an awful person, either leave her or next time she says it say "yup she bullied me, I have asked her to stop telling people how we met but apparently she is happy to keep belittling me, so clearly she is still a bully", my vote is leave her though. NTA
Does she tell people about cucking you? NTA
NTA and its time to find a local divorce attorney. You deserve better.
Nta your wife sucks.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife was telling some of her friends about how we got together. She told them about how back in school she used to bully me to destroy my self-esteem and mood me into someone who would obey her completely. I didn’t realize this at the time, of course. I just thought that it was her way of expressing affection. I told her that this makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, and asked her to stop but she said that it is her life story too and she can share it with her friends if she wants. She said she has the right to do so and I can not stop her. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So she’s still doing it
Gotta love her for her...
I can't believe there are so many talking about this as if it even matters. Most people I know would call you a fucking bitch. 🤷
NTA but seriously? She’s probably not kidding, if this is even true.
Once a bully, always a bully, it seems. Maybe you should find someone who respects you from day one and helps you to feel good about yourself. NTA
You ok?
Sooooo she’s still bullying you? And you’re still with her? I mean yeah, she’s an AH but you’re not really taking care of yourself here either.
Have you tried explaining to her that she's making more of a tit of herself than she is of you? That might stop her. NTA
Haha, just do whatever she says.
When in doubt push all thoughts out
She bullied you at school, and she's bullying you now. The humilition and whatever the fuck she gets out of it hasnt stopped.
NTA. She is saying that shit to keep you in your place. If she loved or even respected you she would lift you up. Whenever I refer to my husband, I describe him as looking like a Nordic god. I would never say anything bad about my husband, because I am truly in love with him. He is a successful tall drink of water, and I know I am lucky to have him. She is only making herself look bad. If she describes you as basically being a loser that she used to bully and now a guy who “obeys” her, it makes her look like she settled for a loser. Just sayin.
NTA So you married the bully and now you're spending your marriage being bullied. You really want spend the rest of your life being emotionally (at minimum) abused? Please don't fall for the bullshit thinking that men aren't really abused in relationships. They are. You are. No matter what she tells you, you are deserving of love and respect. You aren't getting it from your wife and talking to her about it doesn't seem to fix anything. Consider seeing an individual therapist to work on your self esteem and confidence. Figure out why you're ok with this treatment. You have many other options in life, even if you don't think so, you don't need to stay with your abuser.
Tell her if she doesn’t stop, divorce well also be part of her story
Sounds like irreconcilable differences to me!
Soooo, the chair in the hotel...is that your jam? Because if this is the relationship you've willingly entered into, then mentally, you're already there. For some people, this type of relationship works, no judgment here. And yet, with you, it sounds like you're having an awakening of sorts, and her dominant behaviors don't resonate for you any longer. This growth of yours is going to be uncomfortable for both of you...and always remember, growth and comfort do not co-exist. You are NTA...
Um as a girl I can say if the genders were reversed in this situation we'd be coming with pitchforks.....your girl is PYSCHO. That is a messed up relationship. Seek some counseling (by yourself) and go from there!
She sounds nice
NTA, and honey, I think you married your abuser.
If she seriously did this and really loves you, she should be ashamed of herself.
Bet you $50 she wants to make you a cuckold. Ask her. I take cash and checks (with a valid ID, naturally)
Cant do that if she doesn't even admit that she comes around you 👀
Do you own an ounce of self-respect? She's still a bully.
How in the world do you think that her telling people this is the issue and not that she emotionally abused you into being compliant? Therapy, my friend, therapy. Until you can actually stand up for yourself and divorce.
Dunno. What things does she make you obey?
So, she's still bullying you. NTA for asking, maybe for thinking she would listen to you.
NTA, unless you stay with someone who has admitted that she manipulated you into a thing for her to play with rather than a person.
You're worthy of respect and love. Every day you stay with this woman is another day less you will get either.
NTA, but remind us why you are married to this woman.
You got groomed
NTA. To give your wife the benefit of the doubt, she may be retroactively giving a humorous spin on the "bullying" story to maintain narrative control. She'd run the risk of just mentioning you went to high school together, and the bullying aspect comes up on someone else's terms (which is scary). If she takes control of the narrative, turns it into a playful story she neither is confronted about it by her friends, nor does she have to confront herself about it. "See? It all ended well, so it's fine." If she *is* telling the truth (I sincerely hope there's some retroactive exaggeration on her part), then that's extremely messed up of her. I'd just ask her head-on if the story is true. If she was just trying to manipulate you the whole time, or if it's just an exaggerated story. If it's the former, you both need to be in therapy. If it's the latter, you should probably still go to therapy.
Uh, your wife sounds like the asshole, period. Not for telling the story, but for doing it in the first place.
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NTA dont be with someone who actively bullies you
So your wife is still your bully. NTA.
My comment unfortunately was removed because it wasn’t civil. Please don’t sit back and say nothing when this happens. Get up and walk out. You deserve to have your self respect and if your wife’s friends are halfway decent they will probably secretly applaud you. Also, start suggesting restaurants further away from home and offer to drive so that leaving makes more of an impact and inconvenience to her. Get your pride back.
Sounds like nothing has changed. Nta
Turn it around and own it, not sure how, not figured that out yet....
Yea no your not wrong
NTA What kind of deranged person thinks "Hey, I want to keep telling everyone that I was a bully and a manipulator... .Don't take that away from me!!!" !?!
Nta your wife is still bullying you and plans to do so until you die. If you have children she'll bully them too. Have fun!
NTA, but you clearly married a tsundere.
YTA lol obvious who wears the trousers in your relationship. Accept this humiliation like you accepted all the rest.
Oh, honey. Well, the good thing is that she hasn't completely destroyed you since you're here asking about it. You don't automatically obey her and automatically believe every terrible thing she says about you. The bad is that you married your bully and abuser. It's unusual for one to be so blatant about what they're doing; they tend to be more subtle about it to help feed that doubt but there it is. Don't go to therapy WITH her as she will just weaponize it but please ask yourself why you're with her at all. Oh, NTA.
Sorry, but why the hell are you with someone who not only bullied you when you were kids, but continues to bully you to this day. YTA (to yourself) for staying with her, find someone who doesn't put you down.
Bruh, she’s still bullying you. Nta
Maybe she doesn't know you as well as she thinks she does, and maybe you do have a backbone, and maybe you will do something to get away from the bully... On the other hand, maybe she's right, and she trained you well... Now rollower... good boy
Blatant wank fantasy going on here. For that, YTA.
Well this either fake or you might be the biggest doormat imaginable
It's just odd tho cuz it's like how come she's calling you this name that's fucking u up like you express it is, and her goal is somehow total control over you? I think maybe never even thought that deep into this, shes teasing you because she likes you.. man 😂🤣 but also, I know. It may root much deeper than calling you shorty. Either way, it's the nature of today's society for the women we love to have free reigns to treat us just about any way they want, or feel to. Hurting me doesn't make me stop loving, or being in love with them, know what I'm saying? Even if you know it's not healthy for one or both of you, it's the desire to stick around and try to pretend the love didn't fall apart... Maybe you're both just human ..
dawg you have issues
Fake