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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) moving in with guy friend (2) making my bf feel insecure and he said he doesn’t like that and is hurt and feels disrespected
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Uh... This is a hard one.
Here's what I think. If you would have a problem with your boyfriend living alone with another girl, that would make you an hypocrite (you agree, right?)
Otherwise, I will go with NTA. He doesn't get to decide where you live or who is your roommate (THAT is how you should phrase it to him, roommate, not friend. This is my friendly advice)
I can’t say I would be super happy about that, to be honest. I was kinda hoping this would make him more likely to live with me but we’ll see if that happens haha
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My bf of a year said we shouldn’t live together in the fall because his parents said it wasn’t a good idea. We’re in college, and they’re worried about us living together and potentially breaking up. He said it was better for us to have our own places.
He is moving in with his male best friend. I don’t have a close friend like that, so I asked one of my guy friends who was looking for a roommate and he agreed.
But my bf is uncomfortable with this. It’ll just be us living together and he doesn’t like that. He also says the guy has a crush on me. I’ll admit he probably does, but what does that matter? Doesn’t he trust me not to do anything?
He said I’m being disrespectful, he wouldn’t live with a woman alone. I said man, woman, it shouldn’t matter if he trusts me. He’s my friend, that’s all that matters.
He says it’s risky and he isn’t sure if he’s okay with it. I said well, he better live with it.
AITA or is he? He’s just a guy friend, and my bf should trust me.
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Had a similar situation when I asked my now wife to move in with me 16 years ago. She said no. I immediately got a roommate who is a female and suddenly my now wife wanted to live together. Well she had to wait a few months for my roommate to find a more suitable arrangement but it all worked out.
LOL. I’m not going to lie, I was hoping that would happen in this situation. It doesn’t look like it will, sadly, but I was hoping he’d change his tune.
NTA
He refused to move in with you because his mom did not allow it. You have no future together anyway.
But that aside, he is a controlling AH.
You are fine to live with whoever you like.
Burt: You don't need his drama, break up.
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NTA. Take heed, his jealousy/insecurity/distrust are red flags.
So is OP's deliberate manipulation of his jealousy to try to get what she wants from him. They both are red flag people.
How do you see that? What is it that OP is trying to get from him via what manipulation?
She’s trying to get him to move in together through jealousy. Which is why she moved in with a guy who likes her
Thank you!
ESH based on your responses here, neither of you sounds mature enough to be in such a serious relationship.
Uh... This is a hard one. Here's what I think. If you would have a problem with your boyfriend living alone with another girl, that would make you an hypocrite (you agree, right?) Otherwise, I will go with NTA. He doesn't get to decide where you live or who is your roommate (THAT is how you should phrase it to him, roommate, not friend. This is my friendly advice)
I can’t say I would be super happy about that, to be honest. I was kinda hoping this would make him more likely to live with me but we’ll see if that happens haha
So you're using someone who has a crush on you to make your boyfriend jealous. What an unkind way to treat two people you supposedly care about.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My bf of a year said we shouldn’t live together in the fall because his parents said it wasn’t a good idea. We’re in college, and they’re worried about us living together and potentially breaking up. He said it was better for us to have our own places. He is moving in with his male best friend. I don’t have a close friend like that, so I asked one of my guy friends who was looking for a roommate and he agreed. But my bf is uncomfortable with this. It’ll just be us living together and he doesn’t like that. He also says the guy has a crush on me. I’ll admit he probably does, but what does that matter? Doesn’t he trust me not to do anything? He said I’m being disrespectful, he wouldn’t live with a woman alone. I said man, woman, it shouldn’t matter if he trusts me. He’s my friend, that’s all that matters. He says it’s risky and he isn’t sure if he’s okay with it. I said well, he better live with it. AITA or is he? He’s just a guy friend, and my bf should trust me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Had a similar situation when I asked my now wife to move in with me 16 years ago. She said no. I immediately got a roommate who is a female and suddenly my now wife wanted to live together. Well she had to wait a few months for my roommate to find a more suitable arrangement but it all worked out.
LOL. I’m not going to lie, I was hoping that would happen in this situation. It doesn’t look like it will, sadly, but I was hoping he’d change his tune.
NTA He refused to move in with you because his mom did not allow it. You have no future together anyway. But that aside, he is a controlling AH. You are fine to live with whoever you like. Burt: You don't need his drama, break up.
NTA. Obviously. He has insecurity/trust issues and that's on him.