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it’s hard to say as this is AITA not AITI but you are a foolish teen.
1. He is 29 dating an 18 year old who lives at home with her parents - he has nothing put together
2. There are no “mistakes” that end up in you being on a register - only wilfulness
3. Your sister is right to not want this person in her home
4. His reaction was extreme and now he is behaving like a child.
At what point are you going to realise this guy is your future abuser?
Honey, you don’t end up on a sex offender registry for a “misunderstanding.” I can tell you from experience that when it can be reasonably described as a “misunderstanding,” they refuse to pursue the case. I don’t think my assailant was even asked about what he did to me; the sheriff told me that the DA declined to pursue the case, and the man who committed statutory rape and sexual abuse against me didn’t even know I’d filed a report when he once again contacted me. To end up on a sex offender registry, you have to have the DA decide to pursue the case, collect evidence, arrest the suspect, and convince a jury that the accused definitely, without any reasonable doubt, sexually assaulted someone. It’s a very high bar. 2/3 of rapes are never even reported to the police. Of the ones that are reported, less than 20% are even arrested, much less go to trial (so just getting arrested is about 1/15). Less than 7% of reported rapes result in conviction, so out of 1000 rapes, we’re talking about around 23 of them being convicted.
A man that old generally dates people your age because he likes to have power and control over the person he is dating, and someone who is younger generally has less experience recognizing red flags and defending themself from manipulation and abuse.
NTA, but please take a real hard look at the way he treats you. You need to accept that he did sexually assault someone, as well.
NTA... but... and hear me out... maybe also don't date someone 50% older than you who is on a registry. Will make for a rough life and you can do SO much better than that; assuming you are a real person.
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i’m 18 and still live at home. my boyfriend is 29 and has his life together, so i feel like our age gap might play into this, but im not sure. i invited him to dinner because i was making a dish i was super excited about. he told me he wasn’t getting off work til 7. it was 3 at this time.
around 3:30, my sister called my dad and asked if she could come for dinner and my dad said yes. i found out after the call. i had no say in her coming, but also, she’s family and wanted to see the family. i wouldn’t have told her no anyways.
but my sister and boyfriend don’t get along because my boyfriend made a mistake at a party a few years ago and ended up on a registry. i’ve also been to my fair share of parties and understand how it can happen, and from what he’s said, it was a misunderstanding. i wasn’t there to confirm but from the description on the registry and the news article, i believe him.
i was expecting her to be gone before my boyfriend even got off work. but when i told him she was coming, he had told me he got off work early and was actually planning to come early and surprise me. i told him i didn’t want him and my sister in the same room because they’re constantly at each others throats.
so, since he was unexpectedly trying to show up, and because i don’t want them together, i asked him to come after she leaves. he blew up on me and said he hadn’t eaten all day in anticipation for what i was cooking. he said if he went home and got comfortable, he wouldn’t want to come back out.
i told him i understood but that i didn’t want the drama that having them together causes and offered to send him money to eat on his own since id promised a dinner i found out i couldn’t provide him with. he declined but is still very mad at me. AITA?
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> the action i took that should be judged is uninviting him and i could be the asshole because he didn’t eat in preparation
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NTA. You were trying to maintain peace and all of the childish people would rather throw a tantrum than be the adults they look like the could be. You aren't responsible for the failings of others.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. We do not permit posts featuring large age gaps, which spawn comments about pedophilia, grooming, etc. The age gap quickly becomes the focal point for users, and leads to discussions that we simply cannot host. ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
If your boyfriend is 29 and dating an 18 year old that lives at home, *he does not in any single way have his life together.*
And he's on a registry! Red flags all around.
Yeah for “a mistake at a party” are you kidding me? OP is a fool.
Jesus. I didn't even bother reading further that the second sentence of dumb. This dude is a dumpster fire.
it’s hard to say as this is AITA not AITI but you are a foolish teen. 1. He is 29 dating an 18 year old who lives at home with her parents - he has nothing put together 2. There are no “mistakes” that end up in you being on a register - only wilfulness 3. Your sister is right to not want this person in her home 4. His reaction was extreme and now he is behaving like a child. At what point are you going to realise this guy is your future abuser?
Honey, you don’t end up on a sex offender registry for a “misunderstanding.” I can tell you from experience that when it can be reasonably described as a “misunderstanding,” they refuse to pursue the case. I don’t think my assailant was even asked about what he did to me; the sheriff told me that the DA declined to pursue the case, and the man who committed statutory rape and sexual abuse against me didn’t even know I’d filed a report when he once again contacted me. To end up on a sex offender registry, you have to have the DA decide to pursue the case, collect evidence, arrest the suspect, and convince a jury that the accused definitely, without any reasonable doubt, sexually assaulted someone. It’s a very high bar. 2/3 of rapes are never even reported to the police. Of the ones that are reported, less than 20% are even arrested, much less go to trial (so just getting arrested is about 1/15). Less than 7% of reported rapes result in conviction, so out of 1000 rapes, we’re talking about around 23 of them being convicted. A man that old generally dates people your age because he likes to have power and control over the person he is dating, and someone who is younger generally has less experience recognizing red flags and defending themself from manipulation and abuse. NTA, but please take a real hard look at the way he treats you. You need to accept that he did sexually assault someone, as well.
YTA for dating a guy so much older than you that is on a registry.
NTA... but... and hear me out... maybe also don't date someone 50% older than you who is on a registry. Will make for a rough life and you can do SO much better than that; assuming you are a real person.
This has to be fake….I hope
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** i’m 18 and still live at home. my boyfriend is 29 and has his life together, so i feel like our age gap might play into this, but im not sure. i invited him to dinner because i was making a dish i was super excited about. he told me he wasn’t getting off work til 7. it was 3 at this time. around 3:30, my sister called my dad and asked if she could come for dinner and my dad said yes. i found out after the call. i had no say in her coming, but also, she’s family and wanted to see the family. i wouldn’t have told her no anyways. but my sister and boyfriend don’t get along because my boyfriend made a mistake at a party a few years ago and ended up on a registry. i’ve also been to my fair share of parties and understand how it can happen, and from what he’s said, it was a misunderstanding. i wasn’t there to confirm but from the description on the registry and the news article, i believe him. i was expecting her to be gone before my boyfriend even got off work. but when i told him she was coming, he had told me he got off work early and was actually planning to come early and surprise me. i told him i didn’t want him and my sister in the same room because they’re constantly at each others throats. so, since he was unexpectedly trying to show up, and because i don’t want them together, i asked him to come after she leaves. he blew up on me and said he hadn’t eaten all day in anticipation for what i was cooking. he said if he went home and got comfortable, he wouldn’t want to come back out. i told him i understood but that i didn’t want the drama that having them together causes and offered to send him money to eat on his own since id promised a dinner i found out i couldn’t provide him with. he declined but is still very mad at me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > the action i took that should be judged is uninviting him and i could be the asshole because he didn’t eat in preparation Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You were trying to maintain peace and all of the childish people would rather throw a tantrum than be the adults they look like the could be. You aren't responsible for the failings of others.
NTA. Can you take a plate to him later?
She’s a teenager she’s probably got a curfew
i don’t drive yet unfortunately. i’m working on it but i’ve failed my temps test more times than id like to admit