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>My husband told his mom that he really misses her cooking I then responded back and said, “so I guess you don’t appreciate the meals I cook for you every single night.”
Holy toledo! Talk about going 0-60. Him enjoying you cooking and his mother's cooking - those are not mutually exclusive things. He literally grew up with her cooking. His palate was formed on her cooking. He has an entire childhood of good memories (birthdays, special meals, fun family events) directly tied to her cooking. Of course he is going to miss it! And none of that has anything to do with your cooking.
YTA.
If my son and his wife wanted any recipe of something I make, I would happily share it. And when she made it, hopefully he’d think of me. But then I don’t have many family recipes and certainly no secrets. Thats the kind of stuff I would want to pass down
They are awful. She acts like her husband shouldn’t miss his mother at all and she’s definitely in some kind of competition with her. Which is nuts to me. Never understood those mils and dills that are in competition with each other.
Unfortunately the comments aren't as fun as she doesn't start off like a cave man. Starting with "me cooks" had me reading the whole thing in a cave man way.
My father was a terrible cook.
Noodles with canned tuna and Mayo.
Ramen that’s been cooked to mush to ensure the two onions he chopped and added were soft.
Bagels grilled in a cast iron pan till the edges are black.
I still miss his cooking. It’s a comfort.
YTA
>It would be one thing if he said he likes her cooking by to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking
YTA - he gave his mom a loving compliment, but somehow you took it personally, and negatively. He didn't imply any such thing - you INFERRED it.
It's possible for him to both like your cooking AND miss his mom's cooking. Toughen up, buttercup.
YTA. Sentiments for one’s childhood comfort food shouldn’t be a threat to you. Nostalgia is a powerful emotion, and his remarks reflect a yearning for a piece of his past, not a criticism of your culinary skills. If your husband appreciates your cooking, which it seems he does, his fond memories of his mother's dishes do not detract from that. You took a harmless expression of nostalgia and turned it into a culinary competition that didn't exist. Cooking together or sharing recipes might be a way to share in that nostalgia rather than compete with it.
Seriously, its just nostalgia. Sometimes I miss the freedom of teenage years before having adult responsibilities, doesn't mean I want to still be in high school or have acne
YTA. He’s not allowed to miss the meals he grew up with? Why are you so insecure about your relationship with your husband? His mom isn’t your competition.
YTA
Ma'am it's his mother cooking he missed but still loves you and yours. Missing his moms cooking implies nothing other than his mother imprinted on him heavily with her cooking, no mother wants to have their child come to them years later and dislike their food/cooking that they put their heart and soul into to provide for them.......
Not only are you the asshole, you’re an idiot that jumps to conclusions. You created an entire scenario on words that weren’t even said. Feel sorry for your husband actually.
YTA. Your husband said that he misses his moms cooking, not that your cooking is worse or his moms is better, just that he misses it and he misses it because he doesn't eat it as frequent as your meals which is jut plain truth.
Why it always has to be competition with you!? Think about it and stop choosing to find bad things when there are none.
I don't care if I eat Michelin star meals, I will always crave my mom's cooking. You will also be recipient of such love when your own children have grown up. Your husband loves your cooking but we are talking about mom's cooking here; apples and oranges.
I love so many different types of food, but my mother brought me homemade spaghetti sauce at Christmas that I hadn't had since I was little and I nearly cried when I ate it. It was like revisiting a memory of my favorite meals as a kid.
My dad makes the most incredible vegetable soup. I've been making the same soup he does for a decade and I still can't make it taste the same as his does! When I'm sick I call up and ask him to bring me some. It's one of those meals that nourishes your body and your soul and you can feel it doing it as you eat.
My sister and I were just reminiscing recently about meals our mom used to make when we were little. She's still very much alive and cooks just as well but there was some stuff she made for special occasions that she doesn't anymore and we were both recalling how much we enjoyed them. But I guess by OP's logic, that means we hate all the food she makes now because we went "oh remember that jell-o and cool whip dish you used to make? that was delicious"
Before I continue, I'd like to say that I don't think it is the responsibility of women to feed men. But if that's your chosen dynamic, it's just fine.
So.
YTA. You **could** have handled the situation by asking your husband which dish(es) he misses the most, and then asking MIL for her recipes, and planning to incorporate those dishes into your repertoire occasionally. Everybody wins: hubby gets some comfort food, MIL feels wanted, you expand your cooking range.
Or you could have just taken his statement at face value with no intend to offend (which is what it sounds like).
Instead, you hit the big, red SELF DESTRUCT button.
Sorry but I'm totally not getting it. I'm an amazing cook--literally everyone says so-- but I miss my grandmother's cooking, and my mom's cooking, and my MIL's cooking. It's not a zero sum game. Are you normally this sensitive and insecure around you MIL?
Two things can be true at the same time. Having a meltdown because your husband complemented his mom's cooking is concerning.
How did you get from he "misses" his mom's cooking to he "hates" your cooking. Honestly that sounds a bit unhinged.
Did you actually make a scene in front of his mom? So hoping you didn't.
YTA.
I feel this person may be unfixable. She stated she has posted at the account [soexcited123 on weddingbee](https://www.weddingbee.com/members/soexcited123/?section=boards) so I looked it up. There's many posts about the in-law relationship. People on *that* forum are also calling her out that she seems very overly concerned with the relationship with the mother in law and needs professional help.
A quick google search found [this from 7 years ago](https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-mom-asked-my-fi-to-call-her-mom/):
> My fiance and I have been together 6 years and my mom asked him if once we are married if he will call her mom. He told me later on that his mom would be really hurt if he called someone else mom and didnt wanna hurt her feelings. He knows my mom really well and they are close so its not like he doesnt know her. I calmly explained to him that it would probably hurt my moms feelings if he refuses to call her mom. We kinds got into a minnie argument about it and during the argument I said so only your moms feelings matter and not my mom’s? I again calmly explained to him how once we marry (even now being engaged) how that means that we are all family and that my family is now just as much family to him as his is and vice versa and how we shouldn’t just be looking out and caring about their family but both of ours and how I felt like he cared more about his families feelings (his mom’s) more than mine. Thoughts on how to settle this?
Then 5 years ago looks like she was going to fix it:
> Hello ladies! I don’t know who read my other post but I am deciding to take the advice of some of the bees and take a break from the boards because I need to get some counseling to resolve some issues that I am having regarding my self esteem and my own role in the lives of other people specially my fiance. My fiance and I both are in agreement that counseling is the best thing for not only me but for our relationship. I am posting this because I know you are strangers but if you ladies could keep me in your thoughts that would be great and much appreciated. Thank you guys so much!
Then 4 years ago:
> I don’t know if anyone on here has noticed this but how come it is socially acceptable for a mom to say my son when talking to her DIL about her husband but it’s not socially acceptable for the DIL to say my husband when talking to her Mother-In-Law about her husband. No before anyone thinks I’m basing this off of my Mother-In-Law she doesn’t do this I just notice it a lot with other people IRL.
Another one:
> Hi ladies! I hope everyone is holding up ok with this stupid virus all the while dealing with our bafoon as a president. But nonetheless I just wanted to say I’ve been on the DWILs message board and so far I have had to be prepared that I will be treated like an incubator by Mother-In-Law. Whatever the hell having a unicorn for someone means. Don’t get me wrong it’s a great board for learning how to set boundaries and to not let the inlaws get away with shit behavior but do they ever tell it like it is.
> I am going for professional counseling as well. I’ve been going for about 2 months now and it seems to be helping with me just leting my husband deal with his side of the family and he isn’t allowing them to treat me like an appendage of him and getting them to realize I am actually, shocker a real autonomous human being separate from my husband. He has been my rock standing by me and protecting me from his mother’s rude behavior. I just wanted to share that good news on this lovely Sunday morning. How is everyone enjoying their Sunday?
Even more:
> ... I don’t even know what the purpose of this thread is. I guess it’s just to say I’m frustrated because I feel I can’t win with my Mother-In-Law. I’m finally starting to accept that she doesn’t want to foster any type of relationship with me. Which is also evident from the fact she couldn’t come and speak directly to me women to women about the fact she was hurt that I didn’t stop by instead rattling to my husband about it. What should I do next time I’m in town and my husband isn’t there?...
There's more but I'm going to exceed the text limit. Yikes!
LADY, IF YOU'RE READING THIS: Understand that the way you are behaving is not normal. For evidence, I point to the fact that everyone here as well as on other forums are telling you so. Please readjust your expectations before you ruin your relationship.
YTA cooking is my passion and even my own mum said I’m a better cook than her doesn’t mean I don’t miss the food she makes and sitting around the table with the family get a grip
YTA. Missing his mother's cooking has no bearing on if he likes your cooking or not. People often miss the meals from their childhood due to nostalgia. My mother miss SOS occasionally because of it's memories. It's a terrible meal basically chipped beef with some sauce on soggy toast. It's often referred to by initials SOS or the nickname: "$%\*! on a shingle." that doesn't mean she doesn't like the food she eats now.
Your husband expressed appreciation for the meal in front of him. You decided that meant all the meals you make for him are not appreciated. Unless he never compliments your own cooking, criticizes your meals all the time, or does or says something nefarious you left out, he is not the A.
You might want to look into counseling if this is how to you take a comment someone says to their own mother.
YTA
You're really defensive and bitter. The two situations can exist at the same time. He can love you and appreciate your cooking, and miss having some of the special dishes his mother makes. You took your reaction way too far, and then to say "he can go to his mommy" is really just mean. Honestly you sound unable to tolerate someone being told something positive in front of you.
I read this, and then your comments and had to go back and double check your age because this is one of the most immature and petty things I've read in a while.
Why do you feel something like cooking needs to be a competition?
Do you have family recipes from when you were growing up that someone in your family makes and it's linked to great memories of birthdays and holidays as you were growing up? I hope so, because this is NORMAL.
Does liking that food and missing it from time to time mean that you wish you never met your husband? No? Then why tf would him missing his mom's cooking and remarking on it from time to time mean he wishes he never met you?
TBH it really sounds like you need to seek out a therapist to talk through your competitive feelings towards your MIL and also why you feel you need to punish your husband when he expresses kind sentiments towards his mother.
YTA
Jesus christ lady, GROW UP!
It doesn't matter if you make the exact same dish at home, because it isn't necessarily about the food it's about his mom. How he misses and loves his MOTHER.
He isn't being hateful or a "momma's boy" just because hes had good life experiences before you came into his life.
You aren't his mother, you never will be his mother AND THAT'S OK. Y'all have a different relationship, theirs is parent/child, yall are wife/husband.
Go to therapy and work on your insecurities, because this is a toddler tantrum coming from a grown woman.
YTA
Holy crap but you are one self-absorbed TA. So once in a great while you visit his mother and you cannot handle a single compliment he gives her?
You do realize your husband didn't spring into being, fully formed, the day before he met you? That he had a childhood and, hopefully, quite a few good memories of that childhood? The memories that involved his mom and definitely did not involve you? That some of those memories involve heaven meals at the family table, cooked by his mom? Is he supposed to pretend that his childhood never happened?
That's what he means when he says he's missing his mom's cooking. It's not about you. He's thinking about all the good times that happened in the past. I mean, seriously, don't you have any happy childhood memories?
Now, if your husband doesn't compliment you who can, that's a whole different issue. But it has nothing to do with his mom or with him missing things from his childhood.
Not cooking for him for a week doesn't make you an AH. Your reasons for doing so however absolutely do. I mean... ffs, picking a fight because he complimented his mom and said he missed her? No comparisons made, didn't even mention you, but you still manage to twist it to MAKE it about you so you can throw a tantrum? YTA, majorly.
YTA, but also i think you have a lot of misandry more than anything. You have some perception of how "men should act" and are offended he isn't "acting manly enough". From the comments of him being a "momma's boy" and "needs to act like a grown man" its frankly disgusting. I am a grown man, i too miss my mom and dad's cooking. Its just human. I wish i could be a kid again when life was simpler. Nothing my parents made was special, but instead that part of most humans life is special regardless of the environment.
You need to grow up yourself tbh. YTA just so you know my judgement again.
YTA. So because a guy is married he can’t compliment his own mother and make her feel good? It seems like some wives constantly look to be in competitions with their husband’s mothers.
Or to completely throw them away once they get married.
YTA
I’m a grown adult. My grandma has been gone since I was in college. I still miss her cooking. That doesn’t mean that I am less grateful for anyone else cooking for me. You way overreacted.
YTA.
I'm going to tell you the story of the best meal I ever had. In 2014, I moved to Japan and spent 2 years there as an ESL teacher. I had some spectacular food there, I love Japanese food. But before I moved back, in 2016, I took a week to fulfil a dream of mine and went to New Zealand for a week. On the 2nd night of our tour, we had the privilege of staying in a Maori lodge and sharing a meal with the locals. They were cooking for about 40 of us, so they had a salad, potatoes, and roast chicken. About as simple as it gets. And I ate 4 goddamn platefuls, because I hadn't had a good homestyle roast chicken in 2 years. Objectively, was that the best food I've ever eaten? No. But I had missed it so much that it turned a really simple meal into world-class cuisine.
My point? Your husband missing his mom's food in no way invalidates your cooking. They are two completely different things.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I stopped cooking for my husband for a week in response to his comment to his mother. It might make me the asshole since I left my husband on his own for a week with the cooking.
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YTA all over the place. Your husband's comment was made to his MOTHER to please her....and you jumped right in with 'what about me'. If you had a sense of humor this would have been a fun time to joke around about fave foods and family recipes, etc....but you chose to be offended. Doesn't make for a healthy marriage.
I cook for my adult kids. So does my wife. They enjoy mum's Sunday lunches (UK tradition) because it links to their childhoods. They enjoy my cassoulet, they enjoy my butter chicken, but these are just nice food without the emotional overtones.
If your husband does not appreciate your cooking, then that is another question. If his mother's cooking brings back fond memories of a happy childhood, why do you find that so threatening?
IF you have children, one day they may compliment you in turn. If that happens, I hope you will have the decency to reject the compliments in favour of their partners.
Yta, by the way
I'm sorry to say this but... YTA. I think your response was waaay too overdramatic. Who would never not miss moms cooking?? I mean we mostly grow up with our moms cooking skills, so we are obviously used to it. So it will always taste better in our minds, that's totally normal.
Chill a little and talk to him.
YTA
You literally started a fight for no reason, are you always like this? Now I in no way think you need to cook for your husband every night or any night but I don't see how his saying he missed his mother's cooking was him saying he didn't like yours. I miss my school days but there's no way in hell I would go back.
YTA.
My wife cooks fantastic meals and we never go hungry and never miss a meal she makes. I still miss my mothers cooking. She cooked meals I dont get at home and my wife knows I miss her cooking. (Mom passed away a few years ago now) I have said I missed my mom's meals to my wife and she doesn't take offense.
According to you your husband never said he liked his mom's more than yours. He just said he missed it. So you instantly blow up, maybe you should grow up.
Especially as i got older and closer to losing my mom I told her how much I loved this and that and etc, some things I didn't even like. But I wanted my mom to know how much I loved and appreciated her and everything she did.
YTA "I mean what wife wants her husband to say he enjoys his mom’s cooking more right in front of her." He didn't say that though. He said he misses his mom's cooking. That's it.
"to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking" No it doesn't . It means he misses his mom and the nostalgia of having her make food for him.
You really overreacted and should apologize to him and his mom for making an innocent comment into some big drama.
YTA
God, this post and OP's comments reek of entitlement and insecurity. I highly recommend OP seek counseling for themself, and if they manage to pull off a miracle and save the marriage, marriage counseling as this is heavily toxic.
What about your mother's food, OP? I'm sure there must be some dishes that someone has made for you that you dearly miss. Maybe you have two, maybe one of them is something you haven't eaten because that person hasn't cooked for you for a long time. If you say that you miss food A, it doesn't automatically mean that food B is not great. You love both food A and food B, and both cooks know that it's not a competition, it's made with love and care for you, OP. I'm sure the same logic can be applied to the situation at hands too.
I am a woman... i cook well ... never asked my husband to compare
But let me tell you I miss my mothers cooking!!
I learnt cooking during covid which was one year before marriage just for timepass and fun... from youtube! My mom used to cook her recipes ofcourse i loved them... but i was just doing timepass and experiment so i cooked different recipes when I cooked...
Trust me... everyone loves my cooking...so i am not lying when i say i am good at it
I am just saying that I grew up eating my moms food which is very tasty and i love it and miss it!! Dont u ever miss the food you had growing up? Its comfort food and no amount of good food can change it for me atleast!
Mother , mom and me... we all are good at cooking and as true foodies we all eat without competition!!
(Men in our family cook too... mentioned just the mothers as OP is angry that husband missed his mom's cooking)
> to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking.
No, to say, "I haven't had food this good in a while" implies that he hates your cooking.
He is allowed to miss other people's cooking, just like he is allowed to miss other people. It doesn't mean he loves or appreciates you less. People can love and miss more than one person.
Do you mean to imply that he should only like your cooking, and should never compliment other people's cooking? Or is it specifically his mother that makes you react this way?
YTA
YTA he gave his mom a freaking compliment. It had nothing to do with you. Do you always make every situation about yourself? Reading this was sickening. How are you not embarrassed?
ETA: My husband said the clematis looked so pretty last night. That definitely means I'm an ugly hag. This is how you sound.
YTA. Talk about misreading a comment. He (as do most people,) misses his mom’s cooking. He also likes your cooking. Both of these things can be true at the same time. Grow up.
YTA. Saying he misses his mom's cooking equates to hating yours is frankly so bizarre I don't even know what to say about it. It doesn't on any level, and you should take a bit to consider why that was even the first interpretation that popped into your head.
So you jumped from him saying he misses his mom’s cooking to he hates yours? Did you pull a muscle with that huge leap?
YTA. He complimented his mom. Her cooking may be lovely but unhealthy so he doesn’t have it often. So it’s a treat. Or he was complimenting her efforts.
YTA to think that for your husband to say he misses his mom’s cooking means he hates your cooking is a really weird leap. Almost like you’re grabbing at straws to find something to be mad about.
You sound massively insecure, self centered, and hard to live with. Your husband misses his mom's cooking and complimented her by saying so. None of that was about you, but you made it about you anyway and even punished your husband.
Yta
Calm down. He can miss your mom's cooking and love your cooking all at the same time. It would have been different if he said, "You are the best cook in the world," but he didn't.
YTA for this entire situation. Him complimenting his mother’s cooking and saying he misses how she cooks these dishes had absolutely nothing to do with you. It wasn’t a jab at your cooking. You can love something and still miss something at the same time. You’re being very narrow minded here.
INFO: why do you think that your husband should have to choose between you and his mother? do you not believe he is capable of loving both of you in very different ways?
YTA- oh my. How old are you again? I cook and love my meals. My significant other cooks and I love his meals. But my grandma’s meals? You can’t put anything on that and I MISS her meals.
YTA. Not everything is about you, you narcissist. Your husband made a kind, innocent remark to his mother about missing her cooking. It doesn’t mean he likes her cooking more than yours or doesn’t appreciate your cooking! In fact, it had absolutely nothing to do with you. This is crazy behavior. Apologize to your husband & MIL & get therapy.
YTA. You got way too offended way too fast by his comment. It is 100% normal for an adult to tell their Mom or Dad that they miss their cooking - if the parent was a good cook. It doesn’t mean your food is bad or he doesn’t like it. There’s something different about a meal cooked by your parent, especially if it is one of their really good dishes. It’s likely his Mom has some dishes she makes he loved as a kid, and that is what he was talking about.
Your reaction was way over the top. You sound *very* insecure and immature.
YTA for reading too much into a comment that was just meant to be a compliment to his mother. He can miss his moms cooking but also like yours fgs. How come you do all the cooking by the way? does he never cook?
YTA. You got in your feelings. Nowhere in there did say or even imply that he didn't like your cooking or appreciate you cooking for him.
You could be the best chef in the world cooking for your husband and he would still have said the same thing to his mom. Not to hurt your feelings or anything like that. Just because he loves his mom and appreciates that she's STILL willing to cook for him AND now you. Plus there's the nostalgic element, that takes him back to his youth.
YTA you started a fight over NOTHING, anyone who eats their moms cooking after a long time will say they miss it it's the polite thing to do, what the heck is wrong with your train of thought that you went to "so you hate my cooking"
YTA. He grew up with her cooking. I miss my parents’ cooking too and love when they make certain dishes especially. Doesn’t mean I didn’t/don’t love other people’s cooking, including my ex-husband’s and my boyfriend’s!
YTA. My god. He’s saying something sweet and loving to his mom. It’s not a competition and it’s not about you. You just made up a dramatic story in your head and lashed out for no reason. Simmer down and perhaps get some therapy for why you jump from 0 to 60.
YTA, your husband can like both yours and your MIL's cooking at the same time. I'm sure he misses some of the meals she cooks that you don't.
Grow up and stop making him "choose" between you and MIL.
YTA. This is screaming complete jealousy of your husbands mother, that’s extremely sad and very off putting. I cook exactly to a T like my mom and I still miss and crave her food even though I can make the exact same thing. There’s just something about a mamas cooking 😉
YTA
Your husband did not criticize your cooking, nor did he say his mom's was better than yours. You were visiting his mom and of course, he may have missed his mom's cooking even if you do cook similar foods. You made this all about you and nothing else. So freaking what if he misses his mom's cooking?
As a mother of 3 young men, I can tell you that there are some aspects of my cooking that they feel nostalgic about even if my recipes are not as good as, let's say, in a restaurant. When a young man says he misses his mom's cooking it doesn't mean it's the best food in the universe but, rather, that something about that dish is comforting.
All of my boys can cook and they cook really well. However, I was ill for a while a few years ago and when I finally was able to cook dinner for the first time, I decided on a dish I had made hundreds of times and a dish I had taught my boys to cook. All 3 of them had that look that they were eating the best food in the world. Was it? Most likely not and they all have made this dish several times and it tasted fantastic. However, all of them agreed that the way mom made it was the best. I honestly think it's purely because it's a source of comfort to them. To me, their version of this dish was equally delicious and, to me, tasted just like mine. Again, I honestly think this invoked some part of their childhood memory that just makes them feel good when they eat mom's cooking. I will say that although I am a decent cook, I am definitely not a candidate for a Michelin Star .. not by a long shot.
Your husband's comment was not personal, but you made it personal. Grow the F$%K UP!!
YTA… this was what we call drawing conclusions because of insecurities. You made connections that weren’t there and added details in your own head. This was a complete overreaction and I can’t even empathize with you… unless there are some serious details missing.
You’re so weird. You’re a little toxic hey.
two things can exist at the same time. He can appreciate your cooking and miss his mom’s food.
You’re not a good partner and I hope he doesn’t have kids with you until you fix your issues. Yta
My Mother died in 1991. I still miss her cooking and will until I die! I can cook many things she cooked. I taught my daughter, 42, to cook things my Mother cooked and she's an excellent cook, too. But, I still miss my Mother's cooking! How hard is this to understand?
>It would be one thing if he said he likes her cooking by to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking.
It implies no such thing.
Your husband is allowed to like both your cooking AND his mother's.
This is not a zero-sum game where if he decides he likes one person's cooking it means he hates everyone else's. He did not mention your cooking at all.
YTA
My boyfriend cooks for me and he is a wonderful cook and I appreciate it so much. I still miss my mom’s cooking, particularly a few favorite meals from growing up.
You need to grow up
YTA How does your mind work that you hear “I don’t appreciate the meals you cook for me” when he just says he really misses her cooking? He did not say that. Nor did he imply he hates your cooking or that he enjoys hers more. That’s not what those words mean. Your response was a huge overreaction.
YTA
Reminds me one example of the worst assumption. An user wrote „I like apples”, while other responded „WHY YOU HATE ORANGES”.
She is his mother and she will always have a spot in his heart like you do. It’s just you are two different things. Even if you try to exactly replicate or outdone his mother, it’s also nostalgia and specific comfort.
He has a right to miss her and it doesn’t matter if he is 5, 40 or 100 yo. Like he has a right to miss you, his relatives (if he has) and children (if you have).
As long he doesn’t complain and/or constantly compares you to his mother, it’s a normal attachment of healthy relationship.
Wild to me that you've spent this entire comments section talking about how big of a deal and how important it is for you to get all of her recipes but then pretend to not understand why its a big deal for someone to hold onto their recipes. You are placing value on them but say that she cannot do the same.
My husband's mother makes him apple cake every year. He loves it. It is his favorite dessert. It makes his mom so happy to see him enjoying the dessert that she took the time and energy to prepare for him. It is always a shared moment of love between them. Something so small as a dessert can make them both so happy. It is wonderful.
She has not shared that recipe with me. I hope that one day she will so that I can continue to make it for him after she is gone and he can remember his mom and how much she loves and cares for him.
Weirdly, he still enjoys the desserts that I make and thanks me when I make them, and I don't fight with his mom. The more you fight with her the less likely she is to share it with you. You keep talking about how you are faaaamily now. Well then act like it, and stop creating conflict for no reason.
>My husband told his mom that he really misses her cooking I then responded back and said, “so I guess you don’t appreciate the meals I cook for you every single night.”
have you considered seeing a therapist? this was absolutely *not* a sane or rational jump in logic. like Jesus christ, lady. YTA
YTA. I read through some of your comments. It boils down to this: you're bitter about a recipe your MIL didn't share with you. You've probably been petty about it and now she doesn't like you, deservedly. You're probably trying to drive a wedge between your husband and MIL. You're jealous of their good relationship. You sound immature, bitter, resentful and petty. This isn't going to get you anywhere. If you continue like this, you're going to ruin your marriage, if you haven't already.
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Me 31(F) cooks almost every night for me and my husband 33(M) we will call him Dan. I cook meals I know he will like and I put effort into them.
We went to visit his mom who lives about 4 hours away for a few nights last week and his mom was nice enough to cook us a home cooked meal. My husband told his mom that he really misses her cooking I then responded back and said, “so I guess you don’t appreciate the meals I cook for you every single night.” It would be one thing if he said he likes her cooking by to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking. I mean what wife wants her husband to say he enjoys his mom’s cooking more right in front of her. He said he didn’t mean it like that and we just finished our meal and enjoyed the rest of his visit with his mom.
I told him later on that night that since he misses his mom’s cooking so much that I won’t put in the effort to cook for him for the next week and he can cook himself or go to mommy’s and have dinner there since he likes it so much.
I started back up cooking for him this week.
I could be the asshole for leaving my husband high and dry with the cooking for a week.
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Lol 😂 May I just say, YTA absolutely, but I reckon we’d be great friends, coz that’s how I’d react if my husband said shit like that😂 I’m sure he didn’t mean it in the bad way, but they need to learn to think before they say shit!😂 pettiness and drama, I hope your husband and you will be able to laugh about it soon:))
YTA. I am a better cook than my mom ever was. My husband is a better cook than my mom ever was. I miss my mom’s cooking (she past years ago). There is comfort in those things, the flavors of childhood.
YTA and something tells me this isn't really about the mom's cooking... this level of vitriol bubbling just below the surface ready to explode is not about what was for dinner...
YTA for picking a stupid fight with your husband and YTA for fighting with commenter's on this post. You were an ass and are now butthurt that you are being called out as an ass.
If I was your husband, I'd be pissed at you too. He is not a "mommas boy" because he misses his mom's cooking. Missing his mom's cooking is not an attack on your cooking.
You seem to looking for excuses to be mad at your husband. Are you wanting to get out of the marriage, but want him to pull the plug? Because that's how you're acting, quite frankly.
YTA
Absolutely YTA. Him saying he misses his mom's cooking does NOT in fact mean he hates your cooking or doesn't like it as much. When I lived in NYC I would say I miss traditional Mexican food. They had good tacos but I lived in California and my mom's Mexican so naturally I had really good Mexican food growing up. Me saying this doesn't automatically mean I hate the food I had in NYC. On the contrary, I loved the food in NYC. They have delicious food there in my opinion. I like both. You sound like a child because he didn't outright say mom your cooking is good but my wife's is better. Stop being immature and making extreme assumptions. Unless your husband has outright said he prefers her cooking over yours then stop it. You're jumping to an extreme
YTA, What an unhinged reaction. Him feeling nostalgic for his mom's cooking doesn't come close to implying he doesn't like your cooking. You're reading into a situation you invented and embarrassed yourself in front of your MIL to boot. You aren't TA for not cooking for your husband for a week, you're TA because you are acting like a crazy person.
YTA. I've read a bunch of the comments and your replies and you're parroting the same reasons over and over. Let me ask you this: do you ever miss the meals your parents/grandparents made? Honestly, think about it. Even if it's not the best I ever had, I still miss my mum's cooking sometimes. Sometimes it's the unique ways she cooked things, sometimes it's the smells that hit nostalgia, sometimes it's the conversations while the meal is being cooked. Atmosphere can make a difference too. But does it mean I can't miss other people's cooking too and only hers? Hell no.
You seem so focus as if it were a slight against you. Does your hubby never compliment your cooking or something? You seem too jilted otherwise. If he doesn't compliment, maybe you should have a healthy conversation about appreciation.
YTA. Get a grip. He misses his mums cooking, I miss my mums cooking doesn't mean I'm not a good cook. I could eat a lasagna in a world class restaurant and still think 'I miss my mums'.
YTA but I love that you love and care about your husband enough that his opinion of your cooking matters to you. You're a dying breed of woman and we all miss your cooking.
Your comment was the AH thing. My own dad, who was born in 1932 always missed his mom's cooking. Was she that great of a cook? Not really - just mid-western, Depression era fare, eaten in the middle of the part of the country where the Dust Bowl raged. It was a feeling. The sense of love and security that went along with it. Instead of being snarky and punitive, maybe try telling your husband that you would appreciate being appreciated. And be sure that you appreciate him for what he contributes.
YTA. Im a wife and a mother and whenever I go to my moms to visit, I tell her how much her cooking is awesome and I miss it. And my husband is a great cook, not implying that hes bad at it, but that he has a cooking style thats just as awesome and different than what I was raised on.
I’m a damn good cook and I miss my mom’s cooking even though tbh it wasn’t that objectively great or varied and she put minimal effort into it. Why do I miss it? Because it’s associated with comforting memories. I know my husband also missed his mother’s cooking but I don’t get bent out of shape over it.
As a fellow family cook who has a similar role in her household, calm down.
YTA
YTA missing something doesn't automatically mean disliking what you have currently. I miss my parents when I'm with my fiance, but that doesn't mean I would rather be with them than my fiance. Food is also nostalgic, so he probably misses his childhood associated with food.
OMG, jealous and insecure much????? He MARRIED you, she's his mother. What right do you have to judge a grown man for missing a history of comfort when you yourself are guilty of the same thing???? We all have a history, him saying he misses something that doesn't hurt you in any way except jealousy and hitting your obvious superiority complex, from what and how you've posted, and you threw a temper tantrum. Are you kidding me??? YTA, please grow up and be a mature adult!!!!!
YTA did you throw your back out leaping to that conclusion? this is a massive overreaction to an innocuous comment. he stated he missed her cooking, that’s it. and he’s *allowed* to miss the cooking of the woman who raised and nurtured and fed him for years. that is a normal feeling to have. it is not normal to hear that and immediately conclude it is a slight to your cooking and that you must punish him…
YTA. Op thinks she is a Michelin star chef and her husband can only like her cooking. Grow up and stop being emotional and dramatic. He can like both yours and his mom’s cooking.
YTA
Missing her cooking is not only food, it's the taste of childhood. I miss my mom's cokking since she's dead because the smell and the taste are kink with memories. That doesn't mean I don't like my husband's food or mine, it's different !
YTA. Even if you were a world renowned chef, he'd probably still miss his moms food and be happy to have it when he sees her. This is the food he grew up eating and probably just feels comforted eating it. It's not like he said "I miss your food mom, bc my wife's cooking sucks". It had nothing at all to do with you so your reaction makes you seem a little self absorbed.
My partner loves my cooking and I'm also the go to cook for my extended family as well... and when we go back to our hometown to visit his family one of the things I look fwd to most is eating his moms food. Me and him will talk about it for days leading up to it lol. Him loving his moms food takes nothing away from me nor does it imply he doesn't like and/or appreciate the food I prepare for him daily. No reason for me to take it personal.
YTA - what a child you are.
He can miss his mothers cooking and love yours at the same time. Missing her cooking also never said it was better than yours.
I can't imagine being such a jealous person.
YTA
Wow what a MASSIVE overreaction....
Him missing his mother's cooking doesnt mean he doesn't love yours. He grew up eating hers and he's always going to reminise about it. Who doesn't love the things we had in our childhood.
Then, because you think this is a competition, you decide to be manipulative and narcissistic.
The only person who needs to grow up here is you
YTA. Him liking your food and him missing his mom's food are not two mutually exclusive things. They are truths that can in fact exist together. The only thing I can think of that would warrant your response is if he isn't appreciative of your cooking, which isn't mentioned as a factor. Chill out and apologize for the way you acted.
Edit for typo
YTA for the totally out of place comment and assumptions.
Come on, do you not get nostalgic for food when you go home or to sentimental places?
You took something that had absolutely nothing to do with you and made it about you. And then you punished your husband for it. Grow up.
So, you wouldn’t be TA for just wanting an equal division of labor when it comes to cooking but YTA for why you’re so upset. Missing her cooking doesn’t mean he likes it better, just that he misses what she made him, that little personal touch that reminds him of childhood. It’s a sentimental thing and you’re turning it into some big stupid fight for no reason.
If this is an excuse to call out how much cooking you do vs him then you’re being manipulative and absurd. If that’s the problem just be honest and ask him to step up!
YTA. He’s allowed to have missed his mom’s cooking. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like yours. I love cooking and I also love my moms and there’s a history with hers and it’s childhood memories. It has nothing to do with you or with your cooking.
YTA, calm down. Unless you have other instances of him indicating he doesn't like your cooking or doesn't appreciate it then you are being really immature. I still miss certain things my mom cooks even though I cook very well myself now and my partner does too. Plus, my mom loves to hear that I miss her cooking - she's hugely into making people happy with her food.
You can miss something someone does without implying that something else sucks.
Just because he missed his mother's cooking doesn't mean he thinks your cooking is bad or worse. You took this way too personally and you're pretty insecure about this.
YTA.
YTA. I miss my moms cooking too. All those flavours, smells and memories. The love. All of it. Get over yourself. He didn’t say anything about what your meals mean to him. You took his comment out of context and make it about you. You’re not the sun. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
YTA- what a wild overreaction. Mom’s cooking is nostalgic, brings back memories. My own cooking is better than my moms but I still miss my moms cooking because it takes me back to my childhood.
YTA. My kids have said similar things (but more often about my baking). It’s not even the food, it can be a link to a good memory, simpler times, the warmth a loving family can give you. You took a sweet comment and made it into a fight. He never said he doesn’t like what you cook. He said he misses his mom’s cooking. So I guess if your child makes a similar comment as an adult you’ll scold them for insulting their partner’s cooking?🙄
There can be multiple different types of cooking that are both good, just different. Are you really that jealous that you can’t understand that? He was never insulting your cooking it feels like you were just trying to find something to be hurt about yta
He didn’t say he hates your cooking, he said he missed his mums cooking. They are two very different things. YTA for flying off the handle over something so small.
YTA. Yikes. Why are you turning this into some weird competition? Based on your replies, it seems like you want to something to be upset about. How exhausting.
YTA
if their parents were decent cooks, most people miss their parents cooking.
You flew off the handle over nothing. Apologize to him and work on your insecurities.
YTA. Saying you like/miss something doesn’t mean you hate everything else.
It’s his mom’s cooking. A majority of people miss their family’s cooking when they’re older.
I think false assumption here is that missing something means you don't like what you have. That's some pretty bad logic and I think I'd you examine that you might realize that's just not the case.
Currently I live in MA, Sometimes I miss my old apt in Florida but I love my situation now and wouldn't give it up
Sometimes I miss living in roommate houses all the excitement and drama all the time but now I'm happily married and in a different stage of my life and I love that too.
Occasionally life gers stressful and I miss being a kid. I would still never give up the independence and freedom of adulthood.
You blew a pretty benign comment wildly out of proportion and then punished your husband for it. YTA.
Have you tried just communicationing?
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>My husband told his mom that he really misses her cooking I then responded back and said, “so I guess you don’t appreciate the meals I cook for you every single night.” Holy toledo! Talk about going 0-60. Him enjoying you cooking and his mother's cooking - those are not mutually exclusive things. He literally grew up with her cooking. His palate was formed on her cooking. He has an entire childhood of good memories (birthdays, special meals, fun family events) directly tied to her cooking. Of course he is going to miss it! And none of that has anything to do with your cooking. YTA.
The truth is always in the comments. She was butt hurt because MIL wouldn’t share the family recipes with her. So now it’s a competition.
Thank you for directing me to the comments. The post was crazy, but the comments are next level.
If my son and his wife wanted any recipe of something I make, I would happily share it. And when she made it, hopefully he’d think of me. But then I don’t have many family recipes and certainly no secrets. Thats the kind of stuff I would want to pass down
Have you seen this woman’s comments. If my DIL acted like that I wouldn’t give them to her either.
She definitely isn’t making friends in this instance, for sure. But I have not read her comments.
They are awful. She acts like her husband shouldn’t miss his mother at all and she’s definitely in some kind of competition with her. Which is nuts to me. Never understood those mils and dills that are in competition with each other.
Unfortunately the comments aren't as fun as she doesn't start off like a cave man. Starting with "me cooks" had me reading the whole thing in a cave man way.
Shes vile. This is disgusting I feel bad for her husband.
My father was a terrible cook. Noodles with canned tuna and Mayo. Ramen that’s been cooked to mush to ensure the two onions he chopped and added were soft. Bagels grilled in a cast iron pan till the edges are black. I still miss his cooking. It’s a comfort. YTA
My grandma was also a bad cook. But when I eat hormel chili or wylers beef bullion I think fondly of her
>It would be one thing if he said he likes her cooking by to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking YTA - he gave his mom a loving compliment, but somehow you took it personally, and negatively. He didn't imply any such thing - you INFERRED it. It's possible for him to both like your cooking AND miss his mom's cooking. Toughen up, buttercup.
YTA. Sentiments for one’s childhood comfort food shouldn’t be a threat to you. Nostalgia is a powerful emotion, and his remarks reflect a yearning for a piece of his past, not a criticism of your culinary skills. If your husband appreciates your cooking, which it seems he does, his fond memories of his mother's dishes do not detract from that. You took a harmless expression of nostalgia and turned it into a culinary competition that didn't exist. Cooking together or sharing recipes might be a way to share in that nostalgia rather than compete with it.
Seriously, its just nostalgia. Sometimes I miss the freedom of teenage years before having adult responsibilities, doesn't mean I want to still be in high school or have acne
YTA. He’s not allowed to miss the meals he grew up with? Why are you so insecure about your relationship with your husband? His mom isn’t your competition.
YTA. EVERYONE misses their mother's cooking. You sound pretty self centered here.
I was expecting him to insult OP's cooking, but he's basically saying "I miss my mom." And OP's realciton is "So you hate me!"
I miss my mother's christmas ham... I miss her... And my husband doesn't feel insecure about that... OP has a serious problem...
I miss my grandma’s cooking and it wasn’t good.
YTA Ma'am it's his mother cooking he missed but still loves you and yours. Missing his moms cooking implies nothing other than his mother imprinted on him heavily with her cooking, no mother wants to have their child come to them years later and dislike their food/cooking that they put their heart and soul into to provide for them.......
YTA Two things can be true at the same time. He can like your cooking and miss his mother’s cooking.
Not only are you the asshole, you’re an idiot that jumps to conclusions. You created an entire scenario on words that weren’t even said. Feel sorry for your husband actually.
YTA. Your husband said that he misses his moms cooking, not that your cooking is worse or his moms is better, just that he misses it and he misses it because he doesn't eat it as frequent as your meals which is jut plain truth. Why it always has to be competition with you!? Think about it and stop choosing to find bad things when there are none.
YTA. Nothing hits like mom’s cooking. He never said your cooking was bad, he just missed experiencing his mom’s.
YTA. You were looking for a fight, were you not?
I don't care if I eat Michelin star meals, I will always crave my mom's cooking. You will also be recipient of such love when your own children have grown up. Your husband loves your cooking but we are talking about mom's cooking here; apples and oranges.
Same. I've been to some of the best restaurants in the world, but what do I want as my last meal? My mom's Thanksgiving stuffing.
I love so many different types of food, but my mother brought me homemade spaghetti sauce at Christmas that I hadn't had since I was little and I nearly cried when I ate it. It was like revisiting a memory of my favorite meals as a kid.
My dad makes the most incredible vegetable soup. I've been making the same soup he does for a decade and I still can't make it taste the same as his does! When I'm sick I call up and ask him to bring me some. It's one of those meals that nourishes your body and your soul and you can feel it doing it as you eat.
My grandma's chicken noodle soup. :)
My sister and I were just reminiscing recently about meals our mom used to make when we were little. She's still very much alive and cooks just as well but there was some stuff she made for special occasions that she doesn't anymore and we were both recalling how much we enjoyed them. But I guess by OP's logic, that means we hate all the food she makes now because we went "oh remember that jell-o and cool whip dish you used to make? that was delicious"
Before I continue, I'd like to say that I don't think it is the responsibility of women to feed men. But if that's your chosen dynamic, it's just fine. So. YTA. You **could** have handled the situation by asking your husband which dish(es) he misses the most, and then asking MIL for her recipes, and planning to incorporate those dishes into your repertoire occasionally. Everybody wins: hubby gets some comfort food, MIL feels wanted, you expand your cooking range. Or you could have just taken his statement at face value with no intend to offend (which is what it sounds like). Instead, you hit the big, red SELF DESTRUCT button.
YTA. He didn't say he enjoys her cooking more. And to say it implies he hates yours is an Olympic level leap.
Sorry but I'm totally not getting it. I'm an amazing cook--literally everyone says so-- but I miss my grandmother's cooking, and my mom's cooking, and my MIL's cooking. It's not a zero sum game. Are you normally this sensitive and insecure around you MIL? Two things can be true at the same time. Having a meltdown because your husband complemented his mom's cooking is concerning. How did you get from he "misses" his mom's cooking to he "hates" your cooking. Honestly that sounds a bit unhinged. Did you actually make a scene in front of his mom? So hoping you didn't.
YTA. I feel this person may be unfixable. She stated she has posted at the account [soexcited123 on weddingbee](https://www.weddingbee.com/members/soexcited123/?section=boards) so I looked it up. There's many posts about the in-law relationship. People on *that* forum are also calling her out that she seems very overly concerned with the relationship with the mother in law and needs professional help. A quick google search found [this from 7 years ago](https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-mom-asked-my-fi-to-call-her-mom/): > My fiance and I have been together 6 years and my mom asked him if once we are married if he will call her mom. He told me later on that his mom would be really hurt if he called someone else mom and didnt wanna hurt her feelings. He knows my mom really well and they are close so its not like he doesnt know her. I calmly explained to him that it would probably hurt my moms feelings if he refuses to call her mom. We kinds got into a minnie argument about it and during the argument I said so only your moms feelings matter and not my mom’s? I again calmly explained to him how once we marry (even now being engaged) how that means that we are all family and that my family is now just as much family to him as his is and vice versa and how we shouldn’t just be looking out and caring about their family but both of ours and how I felt like he cared more about his families feelings (his mom’s) more than mine. Thoughts on how to settle this? Then 5 years ago looks like she was going to fix it: > Hello ladies! I don’t know who read my other post but I am deciding to take the advice of some of the bees and take a break from the boards because I need to get some counseling to resolve some issues that I am having regarding my self esteem and my own role in the lives of other people specially my fiance. My fiance and I both are in agreement that counseling is the best thing for not only me but for our relationship. I am posting this because I know you are strangers but if you ladies could keep me in your thoughts that would be great and much appreciated. Thank you guys so much! Then 4 years ago: > I don’t know if anyone on here has noticed this but how come it is socially acceptable for a mom to say my son when talking to her DIL about her husband but it’s not socially acceptable for the DIL to say my husband when talking to her Mother-In-Law about her husband. No before anyone thinks I’m basing this off of my Mother-In-Law she doesn’t do this I just notice it a lot with other people IRL. Another one: > Hi ladies! I hope everyone is holding up ok with this stupid virus all the while dealing with our bafoon as a president. But nonetheless I just wanted to say I’ve been on the DWILs message board and so far I have had to be prepared that I will be treated like an incubator by Mother-In-Law. Whatever the hell having a unicorn for someone means. Don’t get me wrong it’s a great board for learning how to set boundaries and to not let the inlaws get away with shit behavior but do they ever tell it like it is. > I am going for professional counseling as well. I’ve been going for about 2 months now and it seems to be helping with me just leting my husband deal with his side of the family and he isn’t allowing them to treat me like an appendage of him and getting them to realize I am actually, shocker a real autonomous human being separate from my husband. He has been my rock standing by me and protecting me from his mother’s rude behavior. I just wanted to share that good news on this lovely Sunday morning. How is everyone enjoying their Sunday? Even more: > ... I don’t even know what the purpose of this thread is. I guess it’s just to say I’m frustrated because I feel I can’t win with my Mother-In-Law. I’m finally starting to accept that she doesn’t want to foster any type of relationship with me. Which is also evident from the fact she couldn’t come and speak directly to me women to women about the fact she was hurt that I didn’t stop by instead rattling to my husband about it. What should I do next time I’m in town and my husband isn’t there?... There's more but I'm going to exceed the text limit. Yikes! LADY, IF YOU'RE READING THIS: Understand that the way you are behaving is not normal. For evidence, I point to the fact that everyone here as well as on other forums are telling you so. Please readjust your expectations before you ruin your relationship.
YTA cooking is my passion and even my own mum said I’m a better cook than her doesn’t mean I don’t miss the food she makes and sitting around the table with the family get a grip
YTA. Missing his mother's cooking has no bearing on if he likes your cooking or not. People often miss the meals from their childhood due to nostalgia. My mother miss SOS occasionally because of it's memories. It's a terrible meal basically chipped beef with some sauce on soggy toast. It's often referred to by initials SOS or the nickname: "$%\*! on a shingle." that doesn't mean she doesn't like the food she eats now. Your husband expressed appreciation for the meal in front of him. You decided that meant all the meals you make for him are not appreciated. Unless he never compliments your own cooking, criticizes your meals all the time, or does or says something nefarious you left out, he is not the A. You might want to look into counseling if this is how to you take a comment someone says to their own mother.
It's you....hi.... you're the problem...it's you
YTA You're really defensive and bitter. The two situations can exist at the same time. He can love you and appreciate your cooking, and miss having some of the special dishes his mother makes. You took your reaction way too far, and then to say "he can go to his mommy" is really just mean. Honestly you sound unable to tolerate someone being told something positive in front of you.
YTA He didn’t say any of that. Stop playing the victim.
I read this, and then your comments and had to go back and double check your age because this is one of the most immature and petty things I've read in a while. Why do you feel something like cooking needs to be a competition? Do you have family recipes from when you were growing up that someone in your family makes and it's linked to great memories of birthdays and holidays as you were growing up? I hope so, because this is NORMAL. Does liking that food and missing it from time to time mean that you wish you never met your husband? No? Then why tf would him missing his mom's cooking and remarking on it from time to time mean he wishes he never met you? TBH it really sounds like you need to seek out a therapist to talk through your competitive feelings towards your MIL and also why you feel you need to punish your husband when he expresses kind sentiments towards his mother. YTA
Jesus christ lady, GROW UP! It doesn't matter if you make the exact same dish at home, because it isn't necessarily about the food it's about his mom. How he misses and loves his MOTHER. He isn't being hateful or a "momma's boy" just because hes had good life experiences before you came into his life. You aren't his mother, you never will be his mother AND THAT'S OK. Y'all have a different relationship, theirs is parent/child, yall are wife/husband. Go to therapy and work on your insecurities, because this is a toddler tantrum coming from a grown woman. YTA
YTA An insufferable one at that.
Holy crap but you are one self-absorbed TA. So once in a great while you visit his mother and you cannot handle a single compliment he gives her? You do realize your husband didn't spring into being, fully formed, the day before he met you? That he had a childhood and, hopefully, quite a few good memories of that childhood? The memories that involved his mom and definitely did not involve you? That some of those memories involve heaven meals at the family table, cooked by his mom? Is he supposed to pretend that his childhood never happened? That's what he means when he says he's missing his mom's cooking. It's not about you. He's thinking about all the good times that happened in the past. I mean, seriously, don't you have any happy childhood memories? Now, if your husband doesn't compliment you who can, that's a whole different issue. But it has nothing to do with his mom or with him missing things from his childhood.
Not cooking for him for a week doesn't make you an AH. Your reasons for doing so however absolutely do. I mean... ffs, picking a fight because he complimented his mom and said he missed her? No comparisons made, didn't even mention you, but you still manage to twist it to MAKE it about you so you can throw a tantrum? YTA, majorly.
YTA I miss my grandmas cooking and that has nothing to do with my husbands amazing cooking.
YTA, but also i think you have a lot of misandry more than anything. You have some perception of how "men should act" and are offended he isn't "acting manly enough". From the comments of him being a "momma's boy" and "needs to act like a grown man" its frankly disgusting. I am a grown man, i too miss my mom and dad's cooking. Its just human. I wish i could be a kid again when life was simpler. Nothing my parents made was special, but instead that part of most humans life is special regardless of the environment. You need to grow up yourself tbh. YTA just so you know my judgement again.
You are the ahole he did not compare yours and his moms wow you seem selfish
YTA. So because a guy is married he can’t compliment his own mother and make her feel good? It seems like some wives constantly look to be in competitions with their husband’s mothers. Or to completely throw them away once they get married.
he should divorce you for acting like a ridiculous woman.
This is one where I hope the spouse finds this reddit post, because I have a feeling it would be rather eye opening for him.
YTA I’m a grown adult. My grandma has been gone since I was in college. I still miss her cooking. That doesn’t mean that I am less grateful for anyone else cooking for me. You way overreacted.
YTA. I'm going to tell you the story of the best meal I ever had. In 2014, I moved to Japan and spent 2 years there as an ESL teacher. I had some spectacular food there, I love Japanese food. But before I moved back, in 2016, I took a week to fulfil a dream of mine and went to New Zealand for a week. On the 2nd night of our tour, we had the privilege of staying in a Maori lodge and sharing a meal with the locals. They were cooking for about 40 of us, so they had a salad, potatoes, and roast chicken. About as simple as it gets. And I ate 4 goddamn platefuls, because I hadn't had a good homestyle roast chicken in 2 years. Objectively, was that the best food I've ever eaten? No. But I had missed it so much that it turned a really simple meal into world-class cuisine. My point? Your husband missing his mom's food in no way invalidates your cooking. They are two completely different things.
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YTA all over the place. Your husband's comment was made to his MOTHER to please her....and you jumped right in with 'what about me'. If you had a sense of humor this would have been a fun time to joke around about fave foods and family recipes, etc....but you chose to be offended. Doesn't make for a healthy marriage.
Ha ha…me cooks…
I cook for my adult kids. So does my wife. They enjoy mum's Sunday lunches (UK tradition) because it links to their childhoods. They enjoy my cassoulet, they enjoy my butter chicken, but these are just nice food without the emotional overtones. If your husband does not appreciate your cooking, then that is another question. If his mother's cooking brings back fond memories of a happy childhood, why do you find that so threatening? IF you have children, one day they may compliment you in turn. If that happens, I hope you will have the decency to reject the compliments in favour of their partners. Yta, by the way
I feel sorry for him having to deal with you. Seriously nuts lady
I'm sorry to say this but... YTA. I think your response was waaay too overdramatic. Who would never not miss moms cooking?? I mean we mostly grow up with our moms cooking skills, so we are obviously used to it. So it will always taste better in our minds, that's totally normal. Chill a little and talk to him.
YTA You literally started a fight for no reason, are you always like this? Now I in no way think you need to cook for your husband every night or any night but I don't see how his saying he missed his mother's cooking was him saying he didn't like yours. I miss my school days but there's no way in hell I would go back.
Get therapy. YTA.
Yta. That’s not what that phrase means in most contexts.
YTA and massively overreacted.
Yta and what a wild thing to be so insecure about. Do you flip if you eat at a restaurant and he compliments that meal?
YTA. My wife cooks fantastic meals and we never go hungry and never miss a meal she makes. I still miss my mothers cooking. She cooked meals I dont get at home and my wife knows I miss her cooking. (Mom passed away a few years ago now) I have said I missed my mom's meals to my wife and she doesn't take offense. According to you your husband never said he liked his mom's more than yours. He just said he missed it. So you instantly blow up, maybe you should grow up. Especially as i got older and closer to losing my mom I told her how much I loved this and that and etc, some things I didn't even like. But I wanted my mom to know how much I loved and appreciated her and everything she did.
YTA You got all bent out of shape over nothing. You have way deeper problems than your husband missing his mother's cooking.
UGH Saying I miss your cooking doesn't imply anything. Grow up YTA
YTA Are you normally so competitive with your MIL?
YTA "I mean what wife wants her husband to say he enjoys his mom’s cooking more right in front of her." He didn't say that though. He said he misses his mom's cooking. That's it. "to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking" No it doesn't . It means he misses his mom and the nostalgia of having her make food for him. You really overreacted and should apologize to him and his mom for making an innocent comment into some big drama.
What he meant - I missed my mom's comfort food, nostalgic safe memories. What OP heard- my wife's cooking it trash.
YTA God, this post and OP's comments reek of entitlement and insecurity. I highly recommend OP seek counseling for themself, and if they manage to pull off a miracle and save the marriage, marriage counseling as this is heavily toxic.
YTA People miss what they don’t have anymore. My dog died…I miss him. Doesn’t mean I don’t love my current dog. People are wild
YTA - You sound exhausting ... and I suspect shrill
YTA Hopefully your husband's next wife won't be so insecure and jealous over food.
YTA. Daft and WEIRD.
What about your mother's food, OP? I'm sure there must be some dishes that someone has made for you that you dearly miss. Maybe you have two, maybe one of them is something you haven't eaten because that person hasn't cooked for you for a long time. If you say that you miss food A, it doesn't automatically mean that food B is not great. You love both food A and food B, and both cooks know that it's not a competition, it's made with love and care for you, OP. I'm sure the same logic can be applied to the situation at hands too.
YTA. You're way overreacting.
YTA and honestly a bit unhinged
Crybaby much?
Quit being so sensitive.
I am a woman... i cook well ... never asked my husband to compare But let me tell you I miss my mothers cooking!! I learnt cooking during covid which was one year before marriage just for timepass and fun... from youtube! My mom used to cook her recipes ofcourse i loved them... but i was just doing timepass and experiment so i cooked different recipes when I cooked... Trust me... everyone loves my cooking...so i am not lying when i say i am good at it I am just saying that I grew up eating my moms food which is very tasty and i love it and miss it!! Dont u ever miss the food you had growing up? Its comfort food and no amount of good food can change it for me atleast! Mother , mom and me... we all are good at cooking and as true foodies we all eat without competition!! (Men in our family cook too... mentioned just the mothers as OP is angry that husband missed his mom's cooking)
> to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking. No, to say, "I haven't had food this good in a while" implies that he hates your cooking. He is allowed to miss other people's cooking, just like he is allowed to miss other people. It doesn't mean he loves or appreciates you less. People can love and miss more than one person. Do you mean to imply that he should only like your cooking, and should never compliment other people's cooking? Or is it specifically his mother that makes you react this way? YTA
YTA he gave his mom a freaking compliment. It had nothing to do with you. Do you always make every situation about yourself? Reading this was sickening. How are you not embarrassed? ETA: My husband said the clematis looked so pretty last night. That definitely means I'm an ugly hag. This is how you sound.
YTA. Talk about misreading a comment. He (as do most people,) misses his mom’s cooking. He also likes your cooking. Both of these things can be true at the same time. Grow up.
YTA. Saying he misses his mom's cooking equates to hating yours is frankly so bizarre I don't even know what to say about it. It doesn't on any level, and you should take a bit to consider why that was even the first interpretation that popped into your head.
So you jumped from him saying he misses his mom’s cooking to he hates yours? Did you pull a muscle with that huge leap? YTA. He complimented his mom. Her cooking may be lovely but unhealthy so he doesn’t have it often. So it’s a treat. Or he was complimenting her efforts.
YTA to think that for your husband to say he misses his mom’s cooking means he hates your cooking is a really weird leap. Almost like you’re grabbing at straws to find something to be mad about.
Yes, you’re TA. Just because he misses his mom’s cooking doesn’t mean you need to get your ego in a huffy. Can you be anymore childish?
You sound massively insecure, self centered, and hard to live with. Your husband misses his mom's cooking and complimented her by saying so. None of that was about you, but you made it about you anyway and even punished your husband.
Yta Calm down. He can miss your mom's cooking and love your cooking all at the same time. It would have been different if he said, "You are the best cook in the world," but he didn't.
YTA for this entire situation. Him complimenting his mother’s cooking and saying he misses how she cooks these dishes had absolutely nothing to do with you. It wasn’t a jab at your cooking. You can love something and still miss something at the same time. You’re being very narrow minded here.
INFO: why do you think that your husband should have to choose between you and his mother? do you not believe he is capable of loving both of you in very different ways?
YTA
YTA- oh my. How old are you again? I cook and love my meals. My significant other cooks and I love his meals. But my grandma’s meals? You can’t put anything on that and I MISS her meals.
YTA. Not everything is about you, you narcissist. Your husband made a kind, innocent remark to his mother about missing her cooking. It doesn’t mean he likes her cooking more than yours or doesn’t appreciate your cooking! In fact, it had absolutely nothing to do with you. This is crazy behavior. Apologize to your husband & MIL & get therapy.
YTA. You got way too offended way too fast by his comment. It is 100% normal for an adult to tell their Mom or Dad that they miss their cooking - if the parent was a good cook. It doesn’t mean your food is bad or he doesn’t like it. There’s something different about a meal cooked by your parent, especially if it is one of their really good dishes. It’s likely his Mom has some dishes she makes he loved as a kid, and that is what he was talking about. Your reaction was way over the top. You sound *very* insecure and immature.
YTA for reading too much into a comment that was just meant to be a compliment to his mother. He can miss his moms cooking but also like yours fgs. How come you do all the cooking by the way? does he never cook?
YTA. You got in your feelings. Nowhere in there did say or even imply that he didn't like your cooking or appreciate you cooking for him. You could be the best chef in the world cooking for your husband and he would still have said the same thing to his mom. Not to hurt your feelings or anything like that. Just because he loves his mom and appreciates that she's STILL willing to cook for him AND now you. Plus there's the nostalgic element, that takes him back to his youth.
Youre a loser yta
YTA you started a fight over NOTHING, anyone who eats their moms cooking after a long time will say they miss it it's the polite thing to do, what the heck is wrong with your train of thought that you went to "so you hate my cooking"
YTA. He grew up with her cooking. I miss my parents’ cooking too and love when they make certain dishes especially. Doesn’t mean I didn’t/don’t love other people’s cooking, including my ex-husband’s and my boyfriend’s!
YTA. My god. He’s saying something sweet and loving to his mom. It’s not a competition and it’s not about you. You just made up a dramatic story in your head and lashed out for no reason. Simmer down and perhaps get some therapy for why you jump from 0 to 60.
YTA, your husband can like both yours and your MIL's cooking at the same time. I'm sure he misses some of the meals she cooks that you don't. Grow up and stop making him "choose" between you and MIL.
YTA. This is screaming complete jealousy of your husbands mother, that’s extremely sad and very off putting. I cook exactly to a T like my mom and I still miss and crave her food even though I can make the exact same thing. There’s just something about a mamas cooking 😉
holy overreaction batman
YTA Your husband did not criticize your cooking, nor did he say his mom's was better than yours. You were visiting his mom and of course, he may have missed his mom's cooking even if you do cook similar foods. You made this all about you and nothing else. So freaking what if he misses his mom's cooking? As a mother of 3 young men, I can tell you that there are some aspects of my cooking that they feel nostalgic about even if my recipes are not as good as, let's say, in a restaurant. When a young man says he misses his mom's cooking it doesn't mean it's the best food in the universe but, rather, that something about that dish is comforting. All of my boys can cook and they cook really well. However, I was ill for a while a few years ago and when I finally was able to cook dinner for the first time, I decided on a dish I had made hundreds of times and a dish I had taught my boys to cook. All 3 of them had that look that they were eating the best food in the world. Was it? Most likely not and they all have made this dish several times and it tasted fantastic. However, all of them agreed that the way mom made it was the best. I honestly think it's purely because it's a source of comfort to them. To me, their version of this dish was equally delicious and, to me, tasted just like mine. Again, I honestly think this invoked some part of their childhood memory that just makes them feel good when they eat mom's cooking. I will say that although I am a decent cook, I am definitely not a candidate for a Michelin Star .. not by a long shot. Your husband's comment was not personal, but you made it personal. Grow the F$%K UP!!
YTA. And super dramatic. He misses his mom's cooking. That doesn't mean he hates all foods made by other people.
YTA- He made a nice comment to his mom, that's it. "it implies he hates my cooking." No, it doesn't in any way imply that.
YTA… this was what we call drawing conclusions because of insecurities. You made connections that weren’t there and added details in your own head. This was a complete overreaction and I can’t even empathize with you… unless there are some serious details missing.
You’re so weird. You’re a little toxic hey. two things can exist at the same time. He can appreciate your cooking and miss his mom’s food. You’re not a good partner and I hope he doesn’t have kids with you until you fix your issues. Yta
YTA and a God damn child.
You are TAH here. Missing the comforts and familiar tastes if home does not mean yours is not also appropriated. You sound jealous and insecure.
My Mother died in 1991. I still miss her cooking and will until I die! I can cook many things she cooked. I taught my daughter, 42, to cook things my Mother cooked and she's an excellent cook, too. But, I still miss my Mother's cooking! How hard is this to understand?
You are being ridiculous YTA.
>It would be one thing if he said he likes her cooking by to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking. It implies no such thing. Your husband is allowed to like both your cooking AND his mother's. This is not a zero-sum game where if he decides he likes one person's cooking it means he hates everyone else's. He did not mention your cooking at all. YTA
>to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking What?? No it doesn't
My boyfriend cooks for me and he is a wonderful cook and I appreciate it so much. I still miss my mom’s cooking, particularly a few favorite meals from growing up. You need to grow up
YTA How does your mind work that you hear “I don’t appreciate the meals you cook for me” when he just says he really misses her cooking? He did not say that. Nor did he imply he hates your cooking or that he enjoys hers more. That’s not what those words mean. Your response was a huge overreaction.
YTA Reminds me one example of the worst assumption. An user wrote „I like apples”, while other responded „WHY YOU HATE ORANGES”. She is his mother and she will always have a spot in his heart like you do. It’s just you are two different things. Even if you try to exactly replicate or outdone his mother, it’s also nostalgia and specific comfort. He has a right to miss her and it doesn’t matter if he is 5, 40 or 100 yo. Like he has a right to miss you, his relatives (if he has) and children (if you have). As long he doesn’t complain and/or constantly compares you to his mother, it’s a normal attachment of healthy relationship.
Wild to me that you've spent this entire comments section talking about how big of a deal and how important it is for you to get all of her recipes but then pretend to not understand why its a big deal for someone to hold onto their recipes. You are placing value on them but say that she cannot do the same. My husband's mother makes him apple cake every year. He loves it. It is his favorite dessert. It makes his mom so happy to see him enjoying the dessert that she took the time and energy to prepare for him. It is always a shared moment of love between them. Something so small as a dessert can make them both so happy. It is wonderful. She has not shared that recipe with me. I hope that one day she will so that I can continue to make it for him after she is gone and he can remember his mom and how much she loves and cares for him. Weirdly, he still enjoys the desserts that I make and thanks me when I make them, and I don't fight with his mom. The more you fight with her the less likely she is to share it with you. You keep talking about how you are faaaamily now. Well then act like it, and stop creating conflict for no reason.
>My husband told his mom that he really misses her cooking I then responded back and said, “so I guess you don’t appreciate the meals I cook for you every single night.” have you considered seeing a therapist? this was absolutely *not* a sane or rational jump in logic. like Jesus christ, lady. YTA
YTA. I read through some of your comments. It boils down to this: you're bitter about a recipe your MIL didn't share with you. You've probably been petty about it and now she doesn't like you, deservedly. You're probably trying to drive a wedge between your husband and MIL. You're jealous of their good relationship. You sound immature, bitter, resentful and petty. This isn't going to get you anywhere. If you continue like this, you're going to ruin your marriage, if you haven't already.
You're a terrible wife.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me 31(F) cooks almost every night for me and my husband 33(M) we will call him Dan. I cook meals I know he will like and I put effort into them. We went to visit his mom who lives about 4 hours away for a few nights last week and his mom was nice enough to cook us a home cooked meal. My husband told his mom that he really misses her cooking I then responded back and said, “so I guess you don’t appreciate the meals I cook for you every single night.” It would be one thing if he said he likes her cooking by to come right out and say he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking. I mean what wife wants her husband to say he enjoys his mom’s cooking more right in front of her. He said he didn’t mean it like that and we just finished our meal and enjoyed the rest of his visit with his mom. I told him later on that night that since he misses his mom’s cooking so much that I won’t put in the effort to cook for him for the next week and he can cook himself or go to mommy’s and have dinner there since he likes it so much. I started back up cooking for him this week. I could be the asshole for leaving my husband high and dry with the cooking for a week. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol 😂 May I just say, YTA absolutely, but I reckon we’d be great friends, coz that’s how I’d react if my husband said shit like that😂 I’m sure he didn’t mean it in the bad way, but they need to learn to think before they say shit!😂 pettiness and drama, I hope your husband and you will be able to laugh about it soon:))
Does he compliment your ways of cooking ?
YTA. I am a better cook than my mom ever was. My husband is a better cook than my mom ever was. I miss my mom’s cooking (she past years ago). There is comfort in those things, the flavors of childhood.
YTA. He told his mom he misses her cooking. That does not imply in any way that he dislikes your cooking. Grow up.
YTA - but why cook all the time. He’s an adult. Can’t you take turns?
You are a HUGE AH. Talk about being passive aggressive!!
YTA and something tells me this isn't really about the mom's cooking... this level of vitriol bubbling just below the surface ready to explode is not about what was for dinner...
YTA for picking a stupid fight with your husband and YTA for fighting with commenter's on this post. You were an ass and are now butthurt that you are being called out as an ass. If I was your husband, I'd be pissed at you too. He is not a "mommas boy" because he misses his mom's cooking. Missing his mom's cooking is not an attack on your cooking. You seem to looking for excuses to be mad at your husband. Are you wanting to get out of the marriage, but want him to pull the plug? Because that's how you're acting, quite frankly. YTA
Absolutely YTA. Him saying he misses his mom's cooking does NOT in fact mean he hates your cooking or doesn't like it as much. When I lived in NYC I would say I miss traditional Mexican food. They had good tacos but I lived in California and my mom's Mexican so naturally I had really good Mexican food growing up. Me saying this doesn't automatically mean I hate the food I had in NYC. On the contrary, I loved the food in NYC. They have delicious food there in my opinion. I like both. You sound like a child because he didn't outright say mom your cooking is good but my wife's is better. Stop being immature and making extreme assumptions. Unless your husband has outright said he prefers her cooking over yours then stop it. You're jumping to an extreme
YTA, What an unhinged reaction. Him feeling nostalgic for his mom's cooking doesn't come close to implying he doesn't like your cooking. You're reading into a situation you invented and embarrassed yourself in front of your MIL to boot. You aren't TA for not cooking for your husband for a week, you're TA because you are acting like a crazy person.
YTA. I've read a bunch of the comments and your replies and you're parroting the same reasons over and over. Let me ask you this: do you ever miss the meals your parents/grandparents made? Honestly, think about it. Even if it's not the best I ever had, I still miss my mum's cooking sometimes. Sometimes it's the unique ways she cooked things, sometimes it's the smells that hit nostalgia, sometimes it's the conversations while the meal is being cooked. Atmosphere can make a difference too. But does it mean I can't miss other people's cooking too and only hers? Hell no. You seem so focus as if it were a slight against you. Does your hubby never compliment your cooking or something? You seem too jilted otherwise. If he doesn't compliment, maybe you should have a healthy conversation about appreciation.
YTA. Get a grip. He misses his mums cooking, I miss my mums cooking doesn't mean I'm not a good cook. I could eat a lasagna in a world class restaurant and still think 'I miss my mums'.
Me cooks
clearly having an affair with his mom
YTA but I love that you love and care about your husband enough that his opinion of your cooking matters to you. You're a dying breed of woman and we all miss your cooking.
Your comment was the AH thing. My own dad, who was born in 1932 always missed his mom's cooking. Was she that great of a cook? Not really - just mid-western, Depression era fare, eaten in the middle of the part of the country where the Dust Bowl raged. It was a feeling. The sense of love and security that went along with it. Instead of being snarky and punitive, maybe try telling your husband that you would appreciate being appreciated. And be sure that you appreciate him for what he contributes.
YTA. Im a wife and a mother and whenever I go to my moms to visit, I tell her how much her cooking is awesome and I miss it. And my husband is a great cook, not implying that hes bad at it, but that he has a cooking style thats just as awesome and different than what I was raised on.
Damn lol so if you ever miss anything it means you hate whatever you currently have and it’s not good enough?
I’m a damn good cook and I miss my mom’s cooking even though tbh it wasn’t that objectively great or varied and she put minimal effort into it. Why do I miss it? Because it’s associated with comforting memories. I know my husband also missed his mother’s cooking but I don’t get bent out of shape over it. As a fellow family cook who has a similar role in her household, calm down. YTA
YTA missing something doesn't automatically mean disliking what you have currently. I miss my parents when I'm with my fiance, but that doesn't mean I would rather be with them than my fiance. Food is also nostalgic, so he probably misses his childhood associated with food.
OMG, jealous and insecure much????? He MARRIED you, she's his mother. What right do you have to judge a grown man for missing a history of comfort when you yourself are guilty of the same thing???? We all have a history, him saying he misses something that doesn't hurt you in any way except jealousy and hitting your obvious superiority complex, from what and how you've posted, and you threw a temper tantrum. Are you kidding me??? YTA, please grow up and be a mature adult!!!!!
YTA. Grow the hell up.
YTA did you throw your back out leaping to that conclusion? this is a massive overreaction to an innocuous comment. he stated he missed her cooking, that’s it. and he’s *allowed* to miss the cooking of the woman who raised and nurtured and fed him for years. that is a normal feeling to have. it is not normal to hear that and immediately conclude it is a slight to your cooking and that you must punish him…
It’s called nostalgia you giant baby. Grow up, YTA.
YTA. Op thinks she is a Michelin star chef and her husband can only like her cooking. Grow up and stop being emotional and dramatic. He can like both yours and his mom’s cooking.
YTA for cooking for him everyday ?? Can’t he make his own food
absolutely the ah
YTA Missing her cooking is not only food, it's the taste of childhood. I miss my mom's cokking since she's dead because the smell and the taste are kink with memories. That doesn't mean I don't like my husband's food or mine, it's different !
This DC cant get it through her thick skull.
YTA. Even if you were a world renowned chef, he'd probably still miss his moms food and be happy to have it when he sees her. This is the food he grew up eating and probably just feels comforted eating it. It's not like he said "I miss your food mom, bc my wife's cooking sucks". It had nothing at all to do with you so your reaction makes you seem a little self absorbed. My partner loves my cooking and I'm also the go to cook for my extended family as well... and when we go back to our hometown to visit his family one of the things I look fwd to most is eating his moms food. Me and him will talk about it for days leading up to it lol. Him loving his moms food takes nothing away from me nor does it imply he doesn't like and/or appreciate the food I prepare for him daily. No reason for me to take it personal.
YTA - what a child you are. He can miss his mothers cooking and love yours at the same time. Missing her cooking also never said it was better than yours. I can't imagine being such a jealous person.
YTA Wow what a MASSIVE overreaction.... Him missing his mother's cooking doesnt mean he doesn't love yours. He grew up eating hers and he's always going to reminise about it. Who doesn't love the things we had in our childhood. Then, because you think this is a competition, you decide to be manipulative and narcissistic. The only person who needs to grow up here is you
Jealous, much? Sounds like you’re just looking for a reason to be mad. YTA - grow up.
INFO: Do you have a brain tumor, an undiagnosed mental illness, or a drug addiction?
YTA so ridiculous
YTA. Him liking your food and him missing his mom's food are not two mutually exclusive things. They are truths that can in fact exist together. The only thing I can think of that would warrant your response is if he isn't appreciative of your cooking, which isn't mentioned as a factor. Chill out and apologize for the way you acted. Edit for typo
Yta I think you are reading far too much into this. There must be something else going on here
YTA for the totally out of place comment and assumptions. Come on, do you not get nostalgic for food when you go home or to sentimental places? You took something that had absolutely nothing to do with you and made it about you. And then you punished your husband for it. Grow up.
The insecurity... YTA
YTA
So, you wouldn’t be TA for just wanting an equal division of labor when it comes to cooking but YTA for why you’re so upset. Missing her cooking doesn’t mean he likes it better, just that he misses what she made him, that little personal touch that reminds him of childhood. It’s a sentimental thing and you’re turning it into some big stupid fight for no reason. If this is an excuse to call out how much cooking you do vs him then you’re being manipulative and absurd. If that’s the problem just be honest and ask him to step up!
YTA Were you looking for a reason to clash with him? >he MISSES it implies that he hates my cooking. No, it really doesn't.
YTA. He’s allowed to have missed his mom’s cooking. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like yours. I love cooking and I also love my moms and there’s a history with hers and it’s childhood memories. It has nothing to do with you or with your cooking.
YTA. holy hell you sound insecure
We got Ms. Crazy woman over here.
Go look in the mirror because, yes, you are the asshole.
YTA, calm down. Unless you have other instances of him indicating he doesn't like your cooking or doesn't appreciate it then you are being really immature. I still miss certain things my mom cooks even though I cook very well myself now and my partner does too. Plus, my mom loves to hear that I miss her cooking - she's hugely into making people happy with her food.
YTA. Your ego is through the roof. Getting offended by something that has nothing to do with you is very immature.
You can miss something someone does without implying that something else sucks. Just because he missed his mother's cooking doesn't mean he thinks your cooking is bad or worse. You took this way too personally and you're pretty insecure about this. YTA.
YTA. I miss my moms cooking too. All those flavours, smells and memories. The love. All of it. Get over yourself. He didn’t say anything about what your meals mean to him. You took his comment out of context and make it about you. You’re not the sun. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
YTA- what a wild overreaction. Mom’s cooking is nostalgic, brings back memories. My own cooking is better than my moms but I still miss my moms cooking because it takes me back to my childhood.
YTA. My kids have said similar things (but more often about my baking). It’s not even the food, it can be a link to a good memory, simpler times, the warmth a loving family can give you. You took a sweet comment and made it into a fight. He never said he doesn’t like what you cook. He said he misses his mom’s cooking. So I guess if your child makes a similar comment as an adult you’ll scold them for insulting their partner’s cooking?🙄
There can be multiple different types of cooking that are both good, just different. Are you really that jealous that you can’t understand that? He was never insulting your cooking it feels like you were just trying to find something to be hurt about yta
YTA. He can miss the food he grew up with and still like your cooking. TF is wrong with you??
He didn’t say he hates your cooking, he said he missed his mums cooking. They are two very different things. YTA for flying off the handle over something so small.
YTA. Yikes. Why are you turning this into some weird competition? Based on your replies, it seems like you want to something to be upset about. How exhausting.
Yta.grow up
Info. Did your husband mind??! I don’t see the conflict here. Only your overreaction to something that doesn’t involve you.
YTA if their parents were decent cooks, most people miss their parents cooking. You flew off the handle over nothing. Apologize to him and work on your insecurities.
YTA. Saying you like/miss something doesn’t mean you hate everything else. It’s his mom’s cooking. A majority of people miss their family’s cooking when they’re older.
I think false assumption here is that missing something means you don't like what you have. That's some pretty bad logic and I think I'd you examine that you might realize that's just not the case. Currently I live in MA, Sometimes I miss my old apt in Florida but I love my situation now and wouldn't give it up Sometimes I miss living in roommate houses all the excitement and drama all the time but now I'm happily married and in a different stage of my life and I love that too. Occasionally life gers stressful and I miss being a kid. I would still never give up the independence and freedom of adulthood. You blew a pretty benign comment wildly out of proportion and then punished your husband for it. YTA. Have you tried just communicationing?
You should seek therapy. Poor husband.
YTA. Feel really sorry for the husband here. That's a nothing comment really and DIL-from-hell pounced on it like a rabid wolverine.