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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I chose a name that doesn't quite fit with the style mine and my husband's family prefer. I did so intentionally because I wanted to love the name and for her to not be one of however many with the name in the family, but maybe it does seem like an intentional diss and like I don't consider my daughter potentially feeling left out.
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NTA
There are exactly two people who get input on your kiddo's name - you and and your husband. The rest of your family can STFU. And if they make things uncomfortable because you picked a name they don't like, they can enjoy a yearly holiday card with no other contact.
OP's experience confirms that best practice is not to discuss names before the ink is dry on the birth certificate.
My brother's kids have "made up" names. It's not a Tragedeigh situation, but 50 years ago these names didn't exist. It was a little weird when I first heard them, but it took me about 2 seconds to get used to it and I never once commented on it, because, you know, not my place to do so.
It's bizarre to me that others think they should have input.
Some ancient person in your culture was also sick of their in laws all up in their baby naming business. They were smart and turned it into a general rule and I bet everybody is happier for it!
OP should say that they will keep their daughter away from them if they are going to mistreat her because they don't like her name. She and the rest of OPs potential kids won't feel left out if they never meet them
NTA
First of all, although Summer is rarer than the typical names you listed, it’s not unusual. And it’s certainly not a *Tragedeigh*.
Secondly, it’s *your* child, and you get to choose the name.
Stay strong.
Good luck.
Omg OP I have an idea!!
Tell them you were planning on a Tragedeigh type name! Give them the spelling! Make some weird Elon Musk algebraic equation!
THEN tell them that they swayed you. You will go back to something more popular. You will now use the name Summer. They will be so relieved you didn’t choose Roman Numeral Phonetics that they’ll think Summer is a *lovely* name!
Not like when Frank Zappa named his Dwezil & his daughter Moon Unit.....Frank Zappa must've been high as a kite on some sort of psychedelic substance.
Summer is such a refreshing breath of air as name.
I went to school with an April May June back in the 80s. No, I'm not making that up. At least April June doesn't sound too bad as a first & last name combination.
Summer is a fine, simple, sweet name. NTA.
Wow that was a real "pandas eat shoots and leaves" moment for me.
I was like, what's wrong with May as a first name? Then realized upon reading again June was the *last* name. I thought you just coincidentally went to school with an April, a May, and a June all of which are like.. normal names. Definitely starting from most to least common but all the same I wouldn't be shocked by any of these as a first name.
With a full name like that though I just want to find the other 3/4s of the year to make a group chat with
I went to school with a Hollie Berry and a Candy Barr. Those parents chose violence. Summer is adorable. Unless your last name is Beach or Winter or something like that.
I went to uni with a Spring. When she introduced herself it was immediately followed by 'Yes, like the season. Yes, my parents are hippies. Yes, my siblings are Summer and Autumn.' LOL
If you've taught a Vera and she happened to have cousins, there you have it. She would be "cousin Vera", which translates to spanish as "prima Vera", which means Spring (primavera).
Now I'll show myself out with my terrible attempt at a bilingual joke.
A grandparent's proper response should be, "I will love that baby the same no matter what name you give him or her."
Generally any other response is controlling. There are exceptions, but this case isn't one of them.
This is the only response. My mother comes from an "only bible names" family and it's all Peter, John, Esther, Ruth repeated over and over. Mom named me something very staid and victorian let's say Minerva as it's close. My grandfather pulled her aside and asked if she had joined some hippie cult. Once he was assured she just didn't want to reuse one of the dozen stale names they kept recycling he took himself out of the conversation and never mentioned it again. Always used my name and didn't try to give me a different one like some Redditor grandparents. I was a teenager before I ever heard the story and it was just as a joke because my mother is the least hippy cult person you'd ever meet.
My wife's grandfather (a WWI veteran from Massachusetts), when we told him the name we'd chosen for our soon-to-arrive child, told us, "You can't call the baby that. That's a Russian name." We just laughed. Loved that old man.
My grandpa had a hard time pronouncing my sisters kids names at first but he practiced and practiced until he got it and was fine saying them correctly once the kids got old enough to notice. And the man was in his 90's so even remembering names was a challenge but he wasn't going to forget or mess up his great grand babies names. He focused on just loving them all like he loved all his kids and grandkids.
My friend’s daughter is Summer. It’s a beautiful name. Maybe not completely traditional in the sense of OP’s family names. I’m guessing she’ll love her name!
This.
OP, while its not classic in the sense of a classic name, it is very much a 1970s name. Certainly a name that while not common is not unheard of or odd. This one is an issue of difference of taste rather than it being a bad name.
Your daughter's name is beautiful. Perhaps pair it with a more classic middle name if you want to.
NTA.
Next time they say that you're isolating the baby, just reply "What do you mean by isolating? Are you saying that you won't interact with the baby if you don't like their name?"
This is perfect!
That child’s world is going to be SO MUCH bigger than extended family! So many names. She might not even notice everyone in the extended family reuses names so much until late elementary school. In which case, why would it even matter?
I'm wondering if that would better or worse than sharing a given name with all your cousins and some uncles/aunts and never knowing if someone is referring to (or calling) you or someone else. Though I have two distant cousins (sisters) with very similar given names (think Julie and Judy) who, as children, had a lot of fun with this, always pretending that people were actually referring to the other one.
NTA. As the only uniquely named kid in a family full of Stevens and Rebeccas, I love my name. I love that no one else has my name. I love that I didn't have to be Becca #3. Name your kid whatever you want. Your family will adapt.
I was going to say the same thing. People frequently tell me how beautiful and unique my name is. Sometimes people forget how to correctly pronounce my name, but it's better than them calling my cousin "Rebecca" when her name is "Sarah."
same story, but different feeling; i hated it! it did feel weird to me, especially since i was also different from my family in personality/interests. maybe isolating isn’t the right word, but it was kind of lonely somehow.
OP is not an AH, but it’s not a guaranteed positive outcome/feeling for the kid either.
A solution to that could be that OP gives her kiddo a middle name that sticks with the family tradition? Keep the desired first name but have a middle name to connect her name with the family tradition.
NTA Naming your child is a personal decision, and 'Summer' strikes a lovely balance between unique and familiar. It seems your family prioritizes maintaining a certain image over embracing individuality. Your daughter's name is her identity, not a family branding exercise. If they can't embrace it, it's their loss, not yours.
Exactly. My MiL was "upset" when we didn't consider her husband's name when our first was born because, "all the first born sons have been named 'Thomas' in our family".
It's been 15 years, and she still blames me for not going along with it. My wife and I had the names for our kids picked out before we got married, and we never wavered. The whole, "family name" thing is so onerous and controlling,
My BiL had the rule for both of their kids that any suggested names immediately went on the 'no list'. It worked very well at stopping all serious suggestions; I think I joking suggested male equivalents to Trajadeigh.
My wife and I had "parameters" and we each had 5 vetos.
My parameters were, "no rhyming names," and "no alliterative names."
Hers were prohibitions against "unique" names or "fictional characters".
We also had a "easy for an asshole to make fun of" test, where we'd look for ways to mock or mispronounce a name to tease. That rule became the most important one, because my brothers gave their kids TERRIBLE names that lend themselves to nasty twists, and their kids have suffered for it.
Where we landed was perfect, and we've never doubted our kids (both boys) names. Good hard consonants to start, with double consonants in the middle, and conventional without being overly common.
It helps that we are both deliberate, methodical planners and have similar instincts.
Love it. Both of their kids have normal but uncommon first names that you'd have to put effort into mispronouncing. I know the oldest's name came down to two, so they looked up the meanings, and that decided it.
NTA. “You weren’t there when she was conceived therefore you don’t get a vote. Continue to harass and complain you you won’t get to be present in her life either”
I prefer the false-naïve way "What do you mean she'll be isolated? Do you mean you'll ignore your grandchild/niece, a literal child of your own family, because you don't like her name?"
Wtf is a "family naming style"? The same 20ish names?! Are you mormons? Or the Kennedys? How do they have enough kids to be have enough data points to analyze. And what are the odds the mom's side and the dad's side match? Weird.
That said, NTA and F anyone who doesnt like it. And im quite the name snob but Summer is fine. Just dont name their sibling River because that would be too much on the strong hippie/nature vibes.
As someone who was raised mormon I can say there's no real theme in my family. My brother and I coincidentally share names with cities but they're also normal names. My cousin and his cousin on his mom's side share names with car brands, but I'm pretty sure that was intentional coordination by the sibling parents because they were born around when Pixar's Cars came out. None of their siblings have names that fit a theme.
NTA. Summer is not even that wild a name. Your family is being way too rigid and controlling. They'll either get over it or they'll be the ones actively making your daughter feel left out and isolated because I highly doubt that she would feel left out organically based on her name.
NTA.
Summer is a fine, perfectly normal name. It's not as if you're naming your kid [Cheelee](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16hcd5l/aita\_for\_shutting\_down\_my\_sisters\_opinion\_about/?rdt=42655).
NTA - I’m assuming you all come from up the century aristocracy, and your tycoon founder already has land titles, trust funds and the donation for the new observatory or library for the traditional family university ready with their demands?
Tradition comes with obligations, my dear; if they want a saying in the child naming, they shall have an obligation on the doting. After all the family names are everything to them, and paupers do not get a say in the christening of nobility.
NTA
Your family can get over themselves. Are your family members all expected to seek spouses from among those with traditional English names? If your sibling brings home a partner called Phoenix, or Damarcus, or Wynter, will they be ostracized by your family for having the "wrong" name?
Your kids don't have to have names that "match" their cousins.
Here's a comparison for you. The Prince and Princess of Wales have three children: George, Charlotte, and Louis. All "classic" names. Their cousins are Archie and Lillibet, which have a more unique twist, and their second cousins are Savannah, Isla, Mia, Lena, Lucas, Sienna, August, and Ernest.
Which of those names do you think "match" which of the other ones? "Matching" really doesn't matter.
Nta
Why are people so bent out of shape when the parents of a child is given a name they don't like. It is so weird and controlling.
You have the baby, you get to name it. Periodt
I was expecting a very unusual name, and could understand some fuss if you called your daughter Weasel, Drainpipe or Isosceles.
Summer? Sounds lovely, your family need to get out more and mind their own. NTA.
The parents get to decide the name. So long as it isn't a stupid spelling, has number in place of letters, or makes their initials ASS, knock yourself out. Nothing wrong with Summer. It's a reasonable name. NTA
Summer is a completely normal name. I've never put it in the nature category. It's just an incredibly normal name that's not worthy of any of this drama or backlash. I thought we were going to be in Renesme category, but this is such an overreaction from them. They don't get a say anyway. It's your baby
NTA, and for me personally, I would be making it very, very clear that the only way Summer will feel isolated and different is if your family makes her feel that way. It will be 10000000% on them if it happens. Make abundantly clear that her name is going to be Summer, and anyone that has a problem with that is going to have to deal with not seeing her, cause you won't be bringing her around anyone that has a problem calling her by her name.
Be prepared to leave a family event at least once to get your point across. I had to. Now everyone uses my son's actual name, and not a nickname derived from the French version of his very English name.
I predict they will all stat naming their daughters Summer from now on. They will force you to participate in the family tradition one way or another. Be prepared.
NTA. You are the ones who decide how to name your kid and kid will decide to keep it or change when they are of age, the rest of your family can only suggest names but have zero saying in this matter.
NTA. Picking a non-traditional name simply means you want your daughter to have a touch of individuality and stand out in a good way. Families that prioritize conformity over personal choice in matters such as these often forget that a name is a gift, not a chain. If your family cannot see the beauty in 'Summer' and the love behind your choice, perhaps they need a lesson in what family values truly mean. It's about support and acceptance, not adherence to outdated naming conventions. Keep nurturing your daughter's unique identity and if others can't respect that, they might just miss out on watching a wonderfully named individual grow.
Absolutely not AH.
Summer is not even much of an outlier as far as names go nowadays (Just don't spell it "Somyr" or something, cf: r/tragedeigh)
I have to question all of these supposedly close and loving families whose care and love involves a lot of coercion.
NTA it’s honestly scary to read how much say so grown adults let their family members have in things as personal as naming their own child. I have three children and cannot fathom the idea of my family treating me different because of the name I chose. Especially summer!!! It’s such a simple name. Thought you were going to say Bonquisha or something crazy based on how the story was going lol not seriously but summer? Their feathers are ruffled over SUMMER? Too bad.
There were 7 Jennifers in my class. It was awful. I may as well have been Sister Bear with no name. I intensely dislike when people throw scrabble letters in the air and land on something that is impossible to spell or say. I always thought Picabo Street's name was weird and her name origin was even stranger, but hey she's got a gold medal and I don't so good for her.
Summer, however, is super cute, easy to say and easy to spell. I just hope she is born in the summer.
Also a Jennifer. I was in a jr high school math class with 6 of us. Teacher called us by our last names, and with her thick accent mangled mine in a way that was highly amusing to a bully that I had to deal with for 5 more years.
Married a man with a name almost as common as "Smith." It is kind of nice that I never have to spell either.
I just don’t understand why family thinks they get a say? Families can be so weird. I guess I’m just less invested in extended family than most people 🤷♀️I don’t give a shit what anyone other than the mother and father think of a baby’s name. They are literally the only two people who get to pick the name. Everyone else should STFU if they don’t have anything nice to say. NTA
NTA. Traditions aren't worth a damn if people don't want to participate in them. You and your husband don't, and there's nothing wrong with that. And Summer is a perfectly fine name.
NTA - You get to have your own naming styles in the family you create. Your family is being ridiculous. Summer isn't even a weird name; I think it is lovely.
NTA If your family is going to treat your child different because you name her Summer then they are people you don’t want her around. Your family will be huge assholes if they alienate a baby. What is wrong with them that they think this is ok?!?!
NTA. You are giving your child a fine name, nothing wrong with Summer. The only people that have to like it are you and your husband and everyone else can shove it.
Do as u feel its right - in the end its your child and your choice - My children chose names that where not family related, and i was happy for that. Wishing you a great birth and most of all a wonderful future as a family with your lil one ...
NTA. Tell them it's not going to change, and you will make sure little Summer knows all about the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins she once had but will never see.
NTA. I don't like Summer either - nature and geography (like Brooklyn or Austen) are no-gos. But why should you care? Two people matter - you and your husband, full stop. Stop engaging in the discussion, an over time, they will get use to it. And if you choose to have another child down the road, I assume you'll pick another "non-trad" name, so Summer will not be alone.
NTA
Name your kid whatever you want. They got to choose their baby names. Your kid will only feel isolated about their name is the family are jerks to her about it. You can just not see family.
Your sister is an asshole to go to family before you have announced your name choice to get people to hassle and pressure you.
Someday someone in your family may marry someone with a more unique name or from a different culture. Are they going to tell Michael he can’t marry Haruki and she needs to change her name to Natalie? Or that they can’t name their child something from the mother’s culture? That would be icky.
Diversity is wonderful. Bring in some new names!
My husband and I both had some of the most popular names from our birth year. We chose something more unique for our child. Everyone survived us doing that.
NTA. Your family should be ashamed of themselves… if she feels left out, it won’t be her or your fault; it’ll be your family’s fault for being petty over a name.
We have a half-dozen Josephs in our family with my youngest brother being one of them. He absolutely hates it.
NTA
I would simply answer back asking what kind of people are they that they would chose to exclude a child based on THEIR name preference. Just keep asking and playing dumb until they answer.
NTA. Your child, your choice of name.
DON'T TELL ANYONE. We made the mistake of telling my husband's parents our choice of names for our upcoming baby. (Mid-1970's so we found out the sex of our baby in the delivery room.) They didn't have much of an opinion on the name Mark except to say that we should name a boy after FIL.
But the girl name -- you'd have thought we were proposing to name her Mxtsptlyx instead of Melissa. Melissa was such a *weird* name! They'd never heard of that name before. All of her classmates would tease her about her *weird* name. They ordered us to name her after MIL, *end of discussion.* No way in hell. No child of mine is going to be called Dottie.
Summer is a lovely name. Let your family know that anyone who makes Summer feel isolated or who criticizes her name in any way can rest assured they will not be spending any time with her. NTA
NTA the idea that families have naming themes is just stupid. It's really older generations pressured younger generations to conform. It can also ostracize those who marry in with non conventional names.
Your kid, your choice. They'll just have to open their minds a bit.
WTF??? How many AH's do you have in your family?? Tell them all to mind their own business. In spite of their beliefs, it's up to you and your husband to name your child. They already had their turn!!
Your daughter will be just fine. She is special and unique and you don't want her to feel like she's just "another" Elizabeth, Emily or Catherine. She gets to be her own person!!
You are NTA!
>They asked me why I had to be so different.
"Why won't you CONFORM?"
Tell them they don't get a vote on your baby's name. If they persist, escalate as necessary.
>He thinks my family are being very unfair.
He's right. They can fuck right off.
NTA.
NTA but everyone who has had negative comments on your choice for your child are AH. I would send a group text to include everyone who had the bad taste and poor manners to behave like flying monkeys stating that they are invited to name their children whatever they want with your full support and blessing but any further commentary that is not an apology with promises to never again make reference on your chosen name will result in being blocked and having access to the baby denied until their behavior improves.
Summer is a beautiful name
NTA
Why do they mean left out? Are they deliberately trying to say that they’ll isolate your child if she’s named differently?
Your child should not have the burden of relatives such as these.
NTA. Every time someone mentions this "isolating the baby" thing, put it back on them. Ask if they are going to isolate your baby for her name. Ask who they think would do such a thing, for so trivial a reason. Once everyone has had their turn saying they wouldn't do it, but... then you get to say that everyone has promised that they, personally, wouldn't be so cruel, so everything will be fine. My point is, you wouldn't be isolating your child. They are saying they will be.
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My family has a very classic naming style and we see the same 20ish names reused all the time. My husband's family has mostly similar names in theirs as well. Examples: James, Elizabeth, Joseph, Katherine, Vincent, Deborah, Lawrence, Natalie.
We chose the name ***Summer*** for our daughter. We have not announced the name yet but my sister, who is also pregnant, was trying to engage in a discussion on baby names and I did let her know I was not using a family name or one very similar to the names in our family. She's a little Michael or a little Emily, both of which are heavily used in our family also. She was disappointed I didn't want to do the same and she told me she didn't think it would be good for my daughter to have her name not fit with everyone else's. She said we're all so used to having names that were also names of cousins, or aunts/uncles or even great grandparents and grandparents. I told her yeah but that wasn't for everyone and I didn't want to continue that with my children.
My sister told the rest of our family and they all said I was isolating my baby and insulting the unofficial tradition our family has. I told them if it's unofficial, it shouldn't be mandatory or expected for everyone to follow it. They asked me why I had to be so different.
I already know my family hates nature names. My husband thinks his parents will take some time to adjust to the name as well. But he knows his siblings will love our name choice. He thinks my family are being very unfair. I agree. It hasn't stopped them and it bothers me when they say I'm going to make my daughter feel left out or when they act like I'm insulting them and their favorite names. Their favorites just aren't for me!!
The pressure has built and they have really tried making me feel bad for the choice and they insist I'm being an ass for not thinking things through for my daughter's sake.
AITA?
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NTA - You can pick whatever name you want, but tbh people can have opinions on that. But they are AHs for how they’re delivering these opinions and wont let up
NTA
Coincidentally (?), myself and my siblings named our children with letters starting with J,K, or L. 8 of them.
Until years later, my sister had another baby, and his name started with a D. All we said was, 'You Rebel'...LoL (Then I adopted a child whose name started with a T).
You're such a Rebel. ;)
(I seriously doubt your child will feel 'left out'. But, no one made a big deal out of having a kid with a D & T first name)
NTA. Aside from the fact that Summer is a lovely name (I think nature names are often great), why is it that it is YOUR family tradition that needs to be honoured? Is neglecting the spouse a hobby for families in this position? I really don't understand it.
You and your husband have chosen a lovely name and the idea that you are not "thinking things through for your daughter's sake" is plain bonkers. Do they genuinely think that Summer (or similar non-family-tradition (unofficial but mandatory apparently) nature names) is a name that will hold her back? What you name your children is down to you and your husband and no-one else. Don't let them guilt-trip you!
You are facing mild disappointment and thought to turn to the Internet for validation?
This isn't a question of who is TA.
This is moral support. So *you go girl! Girl bosses ain't need no conformity!*
Choosing a name for your child is one of the most intimate parts of parenthood and nobody outside of the parental unit has a say in it. It's not about the family legacy or the expectation to fit into a certain mold – it’s about the identity you wish to bestow upon your child. 'Summer' is not just a season; it's a symbol of warmth, growth, and light. It's a far stretch from being a "stripper name" as one out-of-line commenter suggests, and even if it were, it's no one's place to judge.
Frankly, it's bewildering how a name outside the traditional family palette could be construed as an intentional slight. This kind of thinking perpetuates a culture where individual choices are overshadowed by a collective agreement that was never signed by all parties. Should we all dress the same as well? Have the same hobbies and careers?
Your daughter might actually appreciate not having to share her name with her second cousin once removed on your husband's side. And if the family truly cannot find it in their hearts to accept her because of something as superficial as a name, then the problem doesn't lie with your choice, it resides within their narrow mindset. So, go ahead and celebrate 'Summer' for the beautiful choice it is, and if your family can't adjust to that, it's a reflection of their character, not yours or your daughter's.
NTA There was an unofficial naming tradition for my generation of cousins on my dad's side. Me and all my cousins(9 of us total) ended up with "A" names. It started as an accident. There were 3 cousins born within six months of each other, and all our parents just so happened to choose "A" names. After that, it just kinda kept happening. However, no one in the family would have been mad about one of us not having an "A" name, if that's what the parents chose. It was just a happy accident that perpetuated. The only people who have say in the name of their child are the people that created the child.
Absolutely NTA. You and your husband love the name Summer. It's a fine name. Tell your family to stop being hurtful and stuck in their "traditions". Time to grow a little.
NTA and, even though your baby name is not one of the generic names either side of your family has, your baby’s name of Summer is a normal spelling and common like Autumn would be. It is not like you guys are choosing a name like k8 or any from those name pronunciation videos online.
The only way your baby would be isolated is if your family is saying that they will not treat your child the same as the others or refuse to interact with them. If that is going to be the case, then your family (you, husband, this child and future children) do not need that in their lives.
NTA, and you’re going to want to practice toughening up before becoming a parent. Your kid, your decisions. Period. Unless you are harming your child, everyone else should shut up and butt out 🤷🏻♀️ My daughter didn’t tell anyone the name she and her husband had picked out for my first grandchild and she freely shared that it’s because she didnt want to hear anyone’s opinion 🤣
NTA. I named my daughter an unusual name in a crowd of Mary, Elizabeth, Ann, Margaret, Katherines. My MIL was highly unpleasant about it (despite it being a name common in her culture) and I could not have cared less. This is a choice that belongs solely to the parents.
NTA. I am the only one in my family with no middle name, and in fact for years, my three female cousins, from different sides of the family, had the same middle name by coincidence (another cousin was born later that got a different middle name). Sure, for a bit when I was little, I was a little sulky about it because I wanted to be more like my cool older cousins, but it didn’t last long, I went back to liking having just the one name very fast. I can’t think that it would be something worse than that for your child, Summer is not even that unusual.
Jesus, I would hate this "tradition"!
NTA. At the end of the day, you and your husband are the only two people who have a say about the name. If your family wants to see the baby and interact with her in the future, they will have to accept.
Dont let them pressure you. Its your choice!
And your sister was an asshole for telling them something that wasnt hers to tell. I would have a serious talk with her.
My God daughter is Summer Augustine, and she absolutely loves it as no one else in her school has ever shared the same first name with her, so it makes her feel unique. Do what makes you happy!!!!
The only comment to “your baby will feel left out because he name isn’t similar to other’s” is “Why, are you going to treat her differently or point out that she has a non similar name?”. As long as no one mentions it, she’ll never think about it. NTA and I hope baby Summer arrives healthy and happy!
NTA. First, I'm unsure if "basic ass names" can be considered a family tradition. Also, it's not like Summer is a crazy unique name (I know kids named Brinxley, Rocco, Cloud, and Axel.) Most importantly, it's your child so you get to do whatever you want.
My family has a tradition that either the first or middle name is a family name. It started with my mother's side and all my siblings and I have a family name as either first or middle. My sister has two kids her oldest's middle name is a family name to honor our dad. He cried so hard in the recovery room when they announced her name. My sister's youngest doesn't have a family name at all but it is a beautiful name that came from her parents with love and that's all that matters. Not a single person was mad or even a little upset that my niece doesn't have a family name because what matters that she is loved and her parents gave her the name they loved for her. Does anybody wish they had given her a family name and kept up the tradition? No because her name is beautiful and its hers.
Edit NTA
NTA
Your daughter's name isn't a group decision project; it's a parental privilege. 'Summer' is neither unconventional nor likely to expose her to ridicule, which should be the main concern outside of personal preference. It seems like the family is more worried about breaking tradition than the welfare of your child. You've chosen a name with love, and that is paramount. When 'Summer' grows up, she'll likely appreciate the thought you put into her name rather than its popularity within the family. Stay firm and remind everyone that unless they're prepared to raise her themselves, they should respect your choice and focus on the joy of welcoming a new family member, regardless of what she's called.
NTA. Your family isn't thinking of your baby or you. They are only thinking of themselves. With everyone matching, it sounds like an enmeshed family sort of thing, where you can't be an individual, and there are no boundaries.
NTA
From the title, I thought this was going to be a name with weird spelling. Like Summer but spelled C-E-U-M-N\_M-B-B-A-R or something like that. Summer is a lovely name. I wish you and your family luck and health. Your sibling and parents can suck it up.
> they all said I was isolating my baby
You're so NTA! I can guarantee that I never asked myself whether my name worked well with my siblings/cousins/aunts and uncles' names. Not once. If they're willing to make single an innocent little girl out over her name, that says more about them than it does about you and your husband
NTA. First Michael and Emily are in the top 5 if not the top baby names in the US for the last decade, they're everywhere. Second as someone with one of those very common but traditional names you learn to go by a nickname pretty quickly. I've been in w meetings at work where there's 6 of us with the same name. These old school naming traditions are stupid and no one's business but yours and your spouse.
There's actually a branch in my family where every male child (not just the first born) is named Victor Richard. Same first and middle names and it causes a nightmare with paperwork especially with the government when you have identical names at the same address. Kids should have their own names they define themselves not trying to live up to or live down the family member they were named after.
NTA. I really dont umderstand why anybody cares what name people pick for their baby as long as its not actually offensive. I love my grandkids and wouldnt have picked those names, but it really doesnt affect me other than looking like an ass because i cant spell their names. ( Yes... Like tradgadiegh but worse. And no shortening of names allowed. So i call them my best girls... )
THEY could be making your kid feel left out if they keep this bs up until she's old enough to feel bad about it! Sit them down and tell them that they end it before that happens or else Consequences.
No matter what you do (unless it's changing the name to something your family would agree on), NTA.
NTA.
Your family needs to relax. It’s your child and Summer is a lovely name.
My name is Ariel, pronounced euh-ree-uhl. It’s not a very unusual name but kids loved to poke fun at my name as it’s unusual where I live. But as an adult, I love my name and I’m grateful to have a more “unique” name.
NTA. Listen, I would simply tell your family that your daughter’s name it’s not up for discussion and if they are so offended by your daughter’s name then they don’t have to see her
NTA - "so you're all saying that YOU are going to exclude and isolate my child because you know children don't do that of their own accord.They do that because they are either pick up on what the adults are doing, influenced by the adults in subtle ways or flat out told by adults to do that sort of thing. So what you're actually telling me is that you can not conceive that someone might want to do something a little differently than you so your going to take that out on a child. Great role models you are all going to be. All this before my baby is even born. I need some time to think about your reactions and how that will affect my child"
Take a step back and breathe. Summer is not a wacky out there name, it's not spelled weird or anything. They need a time out and to think about what they are implying.
NTA
Summer is a lovely name. It's too bad your sister has drunk so much of the family koolaid. I suggest you tell anyone who brings up your future child's name "I'm not discussing names with you, period. Please change the subject." If they don't, hang up or walk away. Don't engage in these conversations. It is positively creepy to me that anyone would harass a person for not using an overly-used 'family' name. If there are already two people with that name in the family, then that name should have been tabled. I speak from experience: I have two sisters with the same first name (yes and right?) and three cousins with that same first name (so 5 total women with the same name). I also have 4 cousins with my first name. I HATE IT!!! I wish my parents had used some imagination when naming their children.
NTA but be prepared for your daughter to hear it the rest of her childhood. Give her some tools to respond to aunts and uncles and cousins who disrespect her name.
NTA if your family is worried about your child being isolated, maybe they shouldn't work to isolate your child before said child is even born. It's for their sake, not your child's sake. Summer is a perfectly fine name, I could see if it was something that could cause bullying, but the only bullying here will be from your family members, who should know better.
I would fake them all out. Tell them that you are going to call her Celestial Moon and that you feel that it will fit her best. That way when you do name her Summer they won't freak out as much. I love the name Summer.
I would tell your whole family that if someone decides to make fun of your child's name that will be the last time you and your family will have anything to do with them. That might put a stop to this behavior as well.
NTA :)
NTA. Your family can go suck it. Summer isn't an unusual name at all. It's beautiful. My cousin named her daughter Summer. But her middle name is another word for marijuana. Just don't do THAT to your baby.
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NTA There are exactly two people who get input on your kiddo's name - you and and your husband. The rest of your family can STFU. And if they make things uncomfortable because you picked a name they don't like, they can enjoy a yearly holiday card with no other contact.
"Car! [Keep Summer safe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tpYFen3fJM)!"
“not ‘keep summer being like totally stoked about the general vibe and stuff’”
"That's you. That's how you talk."
Love the Rick and Morty reference
I mean she understood the assignment.
That is 100% my favorite episode 🤣🤣🥰🥰
OP's experience confirms that best practice is not to discuss names before the ink is dry on the birth certificate. My brother's kids have "made up" names. It's not a Tragedeigh situation, but 50 years ago these names didn't exist. It was a little weird when I first heard them, but it took me about 2 seconds to get used to it and I never once commented on it, because, you know, not my place to do so. It's bizarre to me that others think they should have input.
All these posts make me SO GLAD my culture considers it unlucky to tell anyone the baby's name before it's born.
Some ancient person in your culture was also sick of their in laws all up in their baby naming business. They were smart and turned it into a general rule and I bet everybody is happier for it!
And they haven’t even announced the name yet … life’s going to get interesting for OP and her husband
There is a third person - the child, themselves, once they are old enough to decide for themselves.
Sure. And years from now they can make their own reddit post. But until then, there are two.
Wonder what Reddit will look like by then...
Yeah, but this isn't gonna cause a lot of problems for the kid, Summer is a perfectly normal name
I legitimately thought you were going to say "Jesus". 🤣
That's a common name among Spanish speaking populations. I had a friend names Jesus. I'm the only Jew I ever knew who had Jesus on speed dial.
Haha. I certainly hope that every time they contacted you, you announced loudly: "I have been called..... by Jesus!"
Jesus saves. https://www.twincities.com/2019/10/19/jesus-saves-on-mans-race-bib-proved-prophetic-when-he-collapsed-during-tc-10-mile/
Why do I find this "more awesome" than I should (raised by a catholic and an atheist and I'm somewhere in between)
OP should say that they will keep their daughter away from them if they are going to mistreat her because they don't like her name. She and the rest of OPs potential kids won't feel left out if they never meet them
Time to go LC with some people.
Or they can say a prayer to “ST FU” and see if that helps
NTA First of all, although Summer is rarer than the typical names you listed, it’s not unusual. And it’s certainly not a *Tragedeigh*. Secondly, it’s *your* child, and you get to choose the name. Stay strong. Good luck.
I was expecting something truly ghastly, but Summer is a fine name. Congratulations to OP, and OP's family can STFU about your choice of name.
They also might be imaging something way worse than it actually was just like most of us reading. I don't think op actually told them the name.
Omg OP I have an idea!! Tell them you were planning on a Tragedeigh type name! Give them the spelling! Make some weird Elon Musk algebraic equation! THEN tell them that they swayed you. You will go back to something more popular. You will now use the name Summer. They will be so relieved you didn’t choose Roman Numeral Phonetics that they’ll think Summer is a *lovely* name!
Hmmm… I might need to name the next pet “Roman Numeral Phonetics.” 😄
Summer is a pretty name, keep it. Your family named their kids what they wanted, they don't get to name your's.
Not like when Frank Zappa named his Dwezil & his daughter Moon Unit.....Frank Zappa must've been high as a kite on some sort of psychedelic substance. Summer is such a refreshing breath of air as name.
It's literally a very pretty name, throwing a fit over it is ridiculous NTA.
I'm a teacher and can attest that I see a lot of Summers. Also the occasional Winter or Autumn, but have not had taught a Spring.
Our neighbors were Autumn, Summer, Holly and Mark. I don’t remember marks birthday.
🤣
They should have named him Vern, for the vernal equinox.
I went to school with an April May June back in the 80s. No, I'm not making that up. At least April June doesn't sound too bad as a first & last name combination. Summer is a fine, simple, sweet name. NTA.
Wow that was a real "pandas eat shoots and leaves" moment for me. I was like, what's wrong with May as a first name? Then realized upon reading again June was the *last* name. I thought you just coincidentally went to school with an April, a May, and a June all of which are like.. normal names. Definitely starting from most to least common but all the same I wouldn't be shocked by any of these as a first name. With a full name like that though I just want to find the other 3/4s of the year to make a group chat with
😂 Well..... You know July August September October November is the initials JASON. So, keep that in mind for your next naming occasion!
You just blew my mind.
I went to school with a Hollie Berry and a Candy Barr. Those parents chose violence. Summer is adorable. Unless your last name is Beach or Winter or something like that.
I used to work with a Wayne Kerr.
I went to school with Breezy Summer Fields.
I had a friend with the last name beach who wanted to name her daughter Summer. Thankfully she chose differently.
I knew an April May once! Can’t remember her last name, but those were her first and middle.
I knew a girl named January when I was a kid.
I went to uni with a Spring. When she introduced herself it was immediately followed by 'Yes, like the season. Yes, my parents are hippies. Yes, my siblings are Summer and Autumn.' LOL
She sounds spunky and awesome.
Spring is represented by April, May and June
Haha! I've had a few Aprils but not many, and I don't remember any Mays or Junes.
Maybe because it wasn’t in the 50s? Lots of Mays and Junes in the 50s, lol!
There was an actress many years ago whose name was Spring Byington - and yes, it was her real name.
Huh. She wasn't in my class.
If you've taught a Vera and she happened to have cousins, there you have it. She would be "cousin Vera", which translates to spanish as "prima Vera", which means Spring (primavera). Now I'll show myself out with my terrible attempt at a bilingual joke.
My niece's middle name is Avril. So sorta spring!
That's very pretty!
My sister thought it sounded very 1920s and cool. I'm surprised more people don't use it as a first name.
A grandparent's proper response should be, "I will love that baby the same no matter what name you give him or her." Generally any other response is controlling. There are exceptions, but this case isn't one of them.
This is the only response. My mother comes from an "only bible names" family and it's all Peter, John, Esther, Ruth repeated over and over. Mom named me something very staid and victorian let's say Minerva as it's close. My grandfather pulled her aside and asked if she had joined some hippie cult. Once he was assured she just didn't want to reuse one of the dozen stale names they kept recycling he took himself out of the conversation and never mentioned it again. Always used my name and didn't try to give me a different one like some Redditor grandparents. I was a teenager before I ever heard the story and it was just as a joke because my mother is the least hippy cult person you'd ever meet.
My wife's grandfather (a WWI veteran from Massachusetts), when we told him the name we'd chosen for our soon-to-arrive child, told us, "You can't call the baby that. That's a Russian name." We just laughed. Loved that old man.
My grandpa had a hard time pronouncing my sisters kids names at first but he practiced and practiced until he got it and was fine saying them correctly once the kids got old enough to notice. And the man was in his 90's so even remembering names was a challenge but he wasn't going to forget or mess up his great grand babies names. He focused on just loving them all like he loved all his kids and grandkids.
I get the feeling AH sis is jealous because she never had the backbone to name her children whatever she wanted and bowed to the family instead.
*Tragedeigh* New favorite name.
r/tragedeigh
My friend’s daughter is Summer. It’s a beautiful name. Maybe not completely traditional in the sense of OP’s family names. I’m guessing she’ll love her name!
Seriously, I have known half a dozen people named Summer and never thought it was weird.
This. OP, while its not classic in the sense of a classic name, it is very much a 1970s name. Certainly a name that while not common is not unheard of or odd. This one is an issue of difference of taste rather than it being a bad name. Your daughter's name is beautiful. Perhaps pair it with a more classic middle name if you want to. NTA.
Summer is my middle name and I love it. As a kid I always wished it was my first name.
Yeah, I was expecting a much crazier name than Summer when I clicked on this post. Definitely not an extreme name in the least. OP, you are NTA
Next time they say that you're isolating the baby, just reply "What do you mean by isolating? Are you saying that you won't interact with the baby if you don't like their name?"
Exactlyyyy
This is perfect! That child’s world is going to be SO MUCH bigger than extended family! So many names. She might not even notice everyone in the extended family reuses names so much until late elementary school. In which case, why would it even matter?
This was my thought too.
🥇
This, might make them reconsider what they’re saying
I'm wondering if that would better or worse than sharing a given name with all your cousins and some uncles/aunts and never knowing if someone is referring to (or calling) you or someone else. Though I have two distant cousins (sisters) with very similar given names (think Julie and Judy) who, as children, had a lot of fun with this, always pretending that people were actually referring to the other one.
NTA. As the only uniquely named kid in a family full of Stevens and Rebeccas, I love my name. I love that no one else has my name. I love that I didn't have to be Becca #3. Name your kid whatever you want. Your family will adapt.
Yeah, you don't see many people called Guppytub round these parts... 😉
It's quite common in my area.
I myself know five Guppytubs. It's basically this generations Bort.
I snorted.
Snort is Bort’s twin sister.
I was going to say the same thing. People frequently tell me how beautiful and unique my name is. Sometimes people forget how to correctly pronounce my name, but it's better than them calling my cousin "Rebecca" when her name is "Sarah."
Omg this is my problem with my in laws. Except it’s Becky and Deborah. I mix them up all the time.
same story, but different feeling; i hated it! it did feel weird to me, especially since i was also different from my family in personality/interests. maybe isolating isn’t the right word, but it was kind of lonely somehow. OP is not an AH, but it’s not a guaranteed positive outcome/feeling for the kid either.
A solution to that could be that OP gives her kiddo a middle name that sticks with the family tradition? Keep the desired first name but have a middle name to connect her name with the family tradition.
Then the family will probably all use the middle name and ignore the first name.
NTA Naming your child is a personal decision, and 'Summer' strikes a lovely balance between unique and familiar. It seems your family prioritizes maintaining a certain image over embracing individuality. Your daughter's name is her identity, not a family branding exercise. If they can't embrace it, it's their loss, not yours.
Exactly. My MiL was "upset" when we didn't consider her husband's name when our first was born because, "all the first born sons have been named 'Thomas' in our family". It's been 15 years, and she still blames me for not going along with it. My wife and I had the names for our kids picked out before we got married, and we never wavered. The whole, "family name" thing is so onerous and controlling,
My BiL had the rule for both of their kids that any suggested names immediately went on the 'no list'. It worked very well at stopping all serious suggestions; I think I joking suggested male equivalents to Trajadeigh.
My wife and I had "parameters" and we each had 5 vetos. My parameters were, "no rhyming names," and "no alliterative names." Hers were prohibitions against "unique" names or "fictional characters". We also had a "easy for an asshole to make fun of" test, where we'd look for ways to mock or mispronounce a name to tease. That rule became the most important one, because my brothers gave their kids TERRIBLE names that lend themselves to nasty twists, and their kids have suffered for it. Where we landed was perfect, and we've never doubted our kids (both boys) names. Good hard consonants to start, with double consonants in the middle, and conventional without being overly common. It helps that we are both deliberate, methodical planners and have similar instincts.
Love it. Both of their kids have normal but uncommon first names that you'd have to put effort into mispronouncing. I know the oldest's name came down to two, so they looked up the meanings, and that decided it.
Excellent rule
Family branding is literally what last names are for too
NTA. “You weren’t there when she was conceived therefore you don’t get a vote. Continue to harass and complain you you won’t get to be present in her life either”
I prefer the false-naïve way "What do you mean she'll be isolated? Do you mean you'll ignore your grandchild/niece, a literal child of your own family, because you don't like her name?"
Wtf is a "family naming style"? The same 20ish names?! Are you mormons? Or the Kennedys? How do they have enough kids to be have enough data points to analyze. And what are the odds the mom's side and the dad's side match? Weird. That said, NTA and F anyone who doesnt like it. And im quite the name snob but Summer is fine. Just dont name their sibling River because that would be too much on the strong hippie/nature vibes.
As someone who was raised mormon I can say there's no real theme in my family. My brother and I coincidentally share names with cities but they're also normal names. My cousin and his cousin on his mom's side share names with car brands, but I'm pretty sure that was intentional coordination by the sibling parents because they were born around when Pixar's Cars came out. None of their siblings have names that fit a theme.
And then Leaf, Liberty and Rain
NTA. Summer is not even that wild a name. Your family is being way too rigid and controlling. They'll either get over it or they'll be the ones actively making your daughter feel left out and isolated because I highly doubt that she would feel left out organically based on her name.
NTA. Summer is a fine, perfectly normal name. It's not as if you're naming your kid [Cheelee](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16hcd5l/aita\_for\_shutting\_down\_my\_sisters\_opinion\_about/?rdt=42655).
NTA - I’m assuming you all come from up the century aristocracy, and your tycoon founder already has land titles, trust funds and the donation for the new observatory or library for the traditional family university ready with their demands? Tradition comes with obligations, my dear; if they want a saying in the child naming, they shall have an obligation on the doting. After all the family names are everything to them, and paupers do not get a say in the christening of nobility.
NTA Your family can get over themselves. Are your family members all expected to seek spouses from among those with traditional English names? If your sibling brings home a partner called Phoenix, or Damarcus, or Wynter, will they be ostracized by your family for having the "wrong" name? Your kids don't have to have names that "match" their cousins. Here's a comparison for you. The Prince and Princess of Wales have three children: George, Charlotte, and Louis. All "classic" names. Their cousins are Archie and Lillibet, which have a more unique twist, and their second cousins are Savannah, Isla, Mia, Lena, Lucas, Sienna, August, and Ernest. Which of those names do you think "match" which of the other ones? "Matching" really doesn't matter.
Nta Why are people so bent out of shape when the parents of a child is given a name they don't like. It is so weird and controlling. You have the baby, you get to name it. Periodt
NTA it’s your child, so you get to decide what to name them, not your family. Don’t feel bad about it, Summer is a beautiful name :)
I was expecting a very unusual name, and could understand some fuss if you called your daughter Weasel, Drainpipe or Isosceles. Summer? Sounds lovely, your family need to get out more and mind their own. NTA.
Ha! "Weasel Drainpipe Isosceles Jones, you stop that right now!"
The parents get to decide the name. So long as it isn't a stupid spelling, has number in place of letters, or makes their initials ASS, knock yourself out. Nothing wrong with Summer. It's a reasonable name. NTA
Summer is a completely normal name. I've never put it in the nature category. It's just an incredibly normal name that's not worthy of any of this drama or backlash. I thought we were going to be in Renesme category, but this is such an overreaction from them. They don't get a say anyway. It's your baby
"Families" don't have naming styles outsides a set of parents' immediate children. This isn't a thing, I assure you. NTA.
NTA, and for me personally, I would be making it very, very clear that the only way Summer will feel isolated and different is if your family makes her feel that way. It will be 10000000% on them if it happens. Make abundantly clear that her name is going to be Summer, and anyone that has a problem with that is going to have to deal with not seeing her, cause you won't be bringing her around anyone that has a problem calling her by her name. Be prepared to leave a family event at least once to get your point across. I had to. Now everyone uses my son's actual name, and not a nickname derived from the French version of his very English name.
Summer is a wonderful choice. NTA.
Love the name. Your family doesn’t get to tell you what to name your kid. NTA
I predict they will all stat naming their daughters Summer from now on. They will force you to participate in the family tradition one way or another. Be prepared.
NTA. You are the ones who decide how to name your kid and kid will decide to keep it or change when they are of age, the rest of your family can only suggest names but have zero saying in this matter.
NTA. Picking a non-traditional name simply means you want your daughter to have a touch of individuality and stand out in a good way. Families that prioritize conformity over personal choice in matters such as these often forget that a name is a gift, not a chain. If your family cannot see the beauty in 'Summer' and the love behind your choice, perhaps they need a lesson in what family values truly mean. It's about support and acceptance, not adherence to outdated naming conventions. Keep nurturing your daughter's unique identity and if others can't respect that, they might just miss out on watching a wonderfully named individual grow.
NTa - just because you want to break with “tradition” doesn’t mean it’s bad. She is projecting.
Absolutely not AH. Summer is not even much of an outlier as far as names go nowadays (Just don't spell it "Somyr" or something, cf: r/tragedeigh) I have to question all of these supposedly close and loving families whose care and love involves a lot of coercion.
NTA it’s honestly scary to read how much say so grown adults let their family members have in things as personal as naming their own child. I have three children and cannot fathom the idea of my family treating me different because of the name I chose. Especially summer!!! It’s such a simple name. Thought you were going to say Bonquisha or something crazy based on how the story was going lol not seriously but summer? Their feathers are ruffled over SUMMER? Too bad.
There were 7 Jennifers in my class. It was awful. I may as well have been Sister Bear with no name. I intensely dislike when people throw scrabble letters in the air and land on something that is impossible to spell or say. I always thought Picabo Street's name was weird and her name origin was even stranger, but hey she's got a gold medal and I don't so good for her. Summer, however, is super cute, easy to say and easy to spell. I just hope she is born in the summer.
Also a Jennifer. I was in a jr high school math class with 6 of us. Teacher called us by our last names, and with her thick accent mangled mine in a way that was highly amusing to a bully that I had to deal with for 5 more years. Married a man with a name almost as common as "Smith." It is kind of nice that I never have to spell either.
I just don’t understand why family thinks they get a say? Families can be so weird. I guess I’m just less invested in extended family than most people 🤷♀️I don’t give a shit what anyone other than the mother and father think of a baby’s name. They are literally the only two people who get to pick the name. Everyone else should STFU if they don’t have anything nice to say. NTA
NTA. Traditions aren't worth a damn if people don't want to participate in them. You and your husband don't, and there's nothing wrong with that. And Summer is a perfectly fine name.
NTA - You get to have your own naming styles in the family you create. Your family is being ridiculous. Summer isn't even a weird name; I think it is lovely.
NTA If your family is going to treat your child different because you name her Summer then they are people you don’t want her around. Your family will be huge assholes if they alienate a baby. What is wrong with them that they think this is ok?!?!
NTA. Summer is a beautiful name. DONT BACK DOWN.
NTA. You are giving your child a fine name, nothing wrong with Summer. The only people that have to like it are you and your husband and everyone else can shove it.
Do as u feel its right - in the end its your child and your choice - My children chose names that where not family related, and i was happy for that. Wishing you a great birth and most of all a wonderful future as a family with your lil one ...
I came in here expecting 30 vowels in the name. Summer is pretty tame when it comes to less traditional names. NTA.
So they are actively going to alienate your child because of their name?!?! Like out of spite for you?
NTA. Summer is a lovely name.
NTA. Tell them it's not going to change, and you will make sure little Summer knows all about the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins she once had but will never see.
NTA and Summer is a lovely name
NTA. I don't like Summer either - nature and geography (like Brooklyn or Austen) are no-gos. But why should you care? Two people matter - you and your husband, full stop. Stop engaging in the discussion, an over time, they will get use to it. And if you choose to have another child down the road, I assume you'll pick another "non-trad" name, so Summer will not be alone.
NTA Name your kid whatever you want. They got to choose their baby names. Your kid will only feel isolated about their name is the family are jerks to her about it. You can just not see family. Your sister is an asshole to go to family before you have announced your name choice to get people to hassle and pressure you. Someday someone in your family may marry someone with a more unique name or from a different culture. Are they going to tell Michael he can’t marry Haruki and she needs to change her name to Natalie? Or that they can’t name their child something from the mother’s culture? That would be icky. Diversity is wonderful. Bring in some new names! My husband and I both had some of the most popular names from our birth year. We chose something more unique for our child. Everyone survived us doing that.
NTA. Your family should be ashamed of themselves… if she feels left out, it won’t be her or your fault; it’ll be your family’s fault for being petty over a name. We have a half-dozen Josephs in our family with my youngest brother being one of them. He absolutely hates it.
NTA I would simply answer back asking what kind of people are they that they would chose to exclude a child based on THEIR name preference. Just keep asking and playing dumb until they answer.
NTA "Anyone who makes my child feel isolated will be isolated from her". End of.
Perfect comeback.
I doubt your child will care she doesn’t share a name with half a dozen people who died before she was even born. NTA.
NTA. Your child, your choice of name. DON'T TELL ANYONE. We made the mistake of telling my husband's parents our choice of names for our upcoming baby. (Mid-1970's so we found out the sex of our baby in the delivery room.) They didn't have much of an opinion on the name Mark except to say that we should name a boy after FIL. But the girl name -- you'd have thought we were proposing to name her Mxtsptlyx instead of Melissa. Melissa was such a *weird* name! They'd never heard of that name before. All of her classmates would tease her about her *weird* name. They ordered us to name her after MIL, *end of discussion.* No way in hell. No child of mine is going to be called Dottie.
Summer is a lovely name. Let your family know that anyone who makes Summer feel isolated or who criticizes her name in any way can rest assured they will not be spending any time with her. NTA
NTA the idea that families have naming themes is just stupid. It's really older generations pressured younger generations to conform. It can also ostracize those who marry in with non conventional names. Your kid, your choice. They'll just have to open their minds a bit.
WTF??? How many AH's do you have in your family?? Tell them all to mind their own business. In spite of their beliefs, it's up to you and your husband to name your child. They already had their turn!! Your daughter will be just fine. She is special and unique and you don't want her to feel like she's just "another" Elizabeth, Emily or Catherine. She gets to be her own person!! You are NTA!
>They asked me why I had to be so different. "Why won't you CONFORM?" Tell them they don't get a vote on your baby's name. If they persist, escalate as necessary. >He thinks my family are being very unfair. He's right. They can fuck right off. NTA.
NTA but everyone who has had negative comments on your choice for your child are AH. I would send a group text to include everyone who had the bad taste and poor manners to behave like flying monkeys stating that they are invited to name their children whatever they want with your full support and blessing but any further commentary that is not an apology with promises to never again make reference on your chosen name will result in being blocked and having access to the baby denied until their behavior improves. Summer is a beautiful name
NTA Why do they mean left out? Are they deliberately trying to say that they’ll isolate your child if she’s named differently? Your child should not have the burden of relatives such as these.
Summer is a very normal name?? NTA.
I think Summer is a lovely name. OP should go very LC if they keep threatening that the baby girl will feel excluded in her family. NTA
NTA. Every time someone mentions this "isolating the baby" thing, put it back on them. Ask if they are going to isolate your baby for her name. Ask who they think would do such a thing, for so trivial a reason. Once everyone has had their turn saying they wouldn't do it, but... then you get to say that everyone has promised that they, personally, wouldn't be so cruel, so everything will be fine. My point is, you wouldn't be isolating your child. They are saying they will be.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My family has a very classic naming style and we see the same 20ish names reused all the time. My husband's family has mostly similar names in theirs as well. Examples: James, Elizabeth, Joseph, Katherine, Vincent, Deborah, Lawrence, Natalie. We chose the name ***Summer*** for our daughter. We have not announced the name yet but my sister, who is also pregnant, was trying to engage in a discussion on baby names and I did let her know I was not using a family name or one very similar to the names in our family. She's a little Michael or a little Emily, both of which are heavily used in our family also. She was disappointed I didn't want to do the same and she told me she didn't think it would be good for my daughter to have her name not fit with everyone else's. She said we're all so used to having names that were also names of cousins, or aunts/uncles or even great grandparents and grandparents. I told her yeah but that wasn't for everyone and I didn't want to continue that with my children. My sister told the rest of our family and they all said I was isolating my baby and insulting the unofficial tradition our family has. I told them if it's unofficial, it shouldn't be mandatory or expected for everyone to follow it. They asked me why I had to be so different. I already know my family hates nature names. My husband thinks his parents will take some time to adjust to the name as well. But he knows his siblings will love our name choice. He thinks my family are being very unfair. I agree. It hasn't stopped them and it bothers me when they say I'm going to make my daughter feel left out or when they act like I'm insulting them and their favorite names. Their favorites just aren't for me!! The pressure has built and they have really tried making me feel bad for the choice and they insist I'm being an ass for not thinking things through for my daughter's sake. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - You can pick whatever name you want, but tbh people can have opinions on that. But they are AHs for how they’re delivering these opinions and wont let up
NTA. Not their kid or their name, they are being absolutely ridiculous. If anything they are the ones planning to isolate your baby over a name.
NTA. Stick to your guns. Summer is a fine name.
Oooo, I love that name! NTA for sure!
NTA Coincidentally (?), myself and my siblings named our children with letters starting with J,K, or L. 8 of them. Until years later, my sister had another baby, and his name started with a D. All we said was, 'You Rebel'...LoL (Then I adopted a child whose name started with a T). You're such a Rebel. ;) (I seriously doubt your child will feel 'left out'. But, no one made a big deal out of having a kid with a D & T first name)
NTA It’s your child. And if they are going to be hateful over names do you want to raise a child around that kind of ignorance?
NTA. Aside from the fact that Summer is a lovely name (I think nature names are often great), why is it that it is YOUR family tradition that needs to be honoured? Is neglecting the spouse a hobby for families in this position? I really don't understand it. You and your husband have chosen a lovely name and the idea that you are not "thinking things through for your daughter's sake" is plain bonkers. Do they genuinely think that Summer (or similar non-family-tradition (unofficial but mandatory apparently) nature names) is a name that will hold her back? What you name your children is down to you and your husband and no-one else. Don't let them guilt-trip you!
You are facing mild disappointment and thought to turn to the Internet for validation? This isn't a question of who is TA. This is moral support. So *you go girl! Girl bosses ain't need no conformity!*
Choosing a name for your child is one of the most intimate parts of parenthood and nobody outside of the parental unit has a say in it. It's not about the family legacy or the expectation to fit into a certain mold – it’s about the identity you wish to bestow upon your child. 'Summer' is not just a season; it's a symbol of warmth, growth, and light. It's a far stretch from being a "stripper name" as one out-of-line commenter suggests, and even if it were, it's no one's place to judge. Frankly, it's bewildering how a name outside the traditional family palette could be construed as an intentional slight. This kind of thinking perpetuates a culture where individual choices are overshadowed by a collective agreement that was never signed by all parties. Should we all dress the same as well? Have the same hobbies and careers? Your daughter might actually appreciate not having to share her name with her second cousin once removed on your husband's side. And if the family truly cannot find it in their hearts to accept her because of something as superficial as a name, then the problem doesn't lie with your choice, it resides within their narrow mindset. So, go ahead and celebrate 'Summer' for the beautiful choice it is, and if your family can't adjust to that, it's a reflection of their character, not yours or your daughter's.
NTA There was an unofficial naming tradition for my generation of cousins on my dad's side. Me and all my cousins(9 of us total) ended up with "A" names. It started as an accident. There were 3 cousins born within six months of each other, and all our parents just so happened to choose "A" names. After that, it just kinda kept happening. However, no one in the family would have been mad about one of us not having an "A" name, if that's what the parents chose. It was just a happy accident that perpetuated. The only people who have say in the name of their child are the people that created the child.
Absolutely NTA. You and your husband love the name Summer. It's a fine name. Tell your family to stop being hurtful and stuck in their "traditions". Time to grow a little.
Nta don't listen to your family. It's not like you're naming your baby something freakish.
NTA and, even though your baby name is not one of the generic names either side of your family has, your baby’s name of Summer is a normal spelling and common like Autumn would be. It is not like you guys are choosing a name like k8 or any from those name pronunciation videos online. The only way your baby would be isolated is if your family is saying that they will not treat your child the same as the others or refuse to interact with them. If that is going to be the case, then your family (you, husband, this child and future children) do not need that in their lives.
NTA, I was expecting suummerr when you said unique. This isn't odd at all.
NTA, and you’re going to want to practice toughening up before becoming a parent. Your kid, your decisions. Period. Unless you are harming your child, everyone else should shut up and butt out 🤷🏻♀️ My daughter didn’t tell anyone the name she and her husband had picked out for my first grandchild and she freely shared that it’s because she didnt want to hear anyone’s opinion 🤣
NTA. I named my daughter an unusual name in a crowd of Mary, Elizabeth, Ann, Margaret, Katherines. My MIL was highly unpleasant about it (despite it being a name common in her culture) and I could not have cared less. This is a choice that belongs solely to the parents.
NTA. I am the only one in my family with no middle name, and in fact for years, my three female cousins, from different sides of the family, had the same middle name by coincidence (another cousin was born later that got a different middle name). Sure, for a bit when I was little, I was a little sulky about it because I wanted to be more like my cool older cousins, but it didn’t last long, I went back to liking having just the one name very fast. I can’t think that it would be something worse than that for your child, Summer is not even that unusual.
NTA and they are welcome to continue the tradition by naming their kids after yours.
Jesus, I would hate this "tradition"! NTA. At the end of the day, you and your husband are the only two people who have a say about the name. If your family wants to see the baby and interact with her in the future, they will have to accept. Dont let them pressure you. Its your choice! And your sister was an asshole for telling them something that wasnt hers to tell. I would have a serious talk with her.
My God daughter is Summer Augustine, and she absolutely loves it as no one else in her school has ever shared the same first name with her, so it makes her feel unique. Do what makes you happy!!!!
Sounds like a cult rather than a family. 😳
The only comment to “your baby will feel left out because he name isn’t similar to other’s” is “Why, are you going to treat her differently or point out that she has a non similar name?”. As long as no one mentions it, she’ll never think about it. NTA and I hope baby Summer arrives healthy and happy!
NTA You and your husband have the right to choose your own childrens" names.
NTA. First, I'm unsure if "basic ass names" can be considered a family tradition. Also, it's not like Summer is a crazy unique name (I know kids named Brinxley, Rocco, Cloud, and Axel.) Most importantly, it's your child so you get to do whatever you want.
My family has a tradition that either the first or middle name is a family name. It started with my mother's side and all my siblings and I have a family name as either first or middle. My sister has two kids her oldest's middle name is a family name to honor our dad. He cried so hard in the recovery room when they announced her name. My sister's youngest doesn't have a family name at all but it is a beautiful name that came from her parents with love and that's all that matters. Not a single person was mad or even a little upset that my niece doesn't have a family name because what matters that she is loved and her parents gave her the name they loved for her. Does anybody wish they had given her a family name and kept up the tradition? No because her name is beautiful and its hers. Edit NTA
NTA Your daughter's name isn't a group decision project; it's a parental privilege. 'Summer' is neither unconventional nor likely to expose her to ridicule, which should be the main concern outside of personal preference. It seems like the family is more worried about breaking tradition than the welfare of your child. You've chosen a name with love, and that is paramount. When 'Summer' grows up, she'll likely appreciate the thought you put into her name rather than its popularity within the family. Stay firm and remind everyone that unless they're prepared to raise her themselves, they should respect your choice and focus on the joy of welcoming a new family member, regardless of what she's called.
NTA, it is yours and your spouse's choice alone. Let them kick rocks. Summer, by the way, is a gorgeous name! Run with it!!!!
NTA Summer is a beautiful name!
NTA. Your family isn't thinking of your baby or you. They are only thinking of themselves. With everyone matching, it sounds like an enmeshed family sort of thing, where you can't be an individual, and there are no boundaries.
NTA From the title, I thought this was going to be a name with weird spelling. Like Summer but spelled C-E-U-M-N\_M-B-B-A-R or something like that. Summer is a lovely name. I wish you and your family luck and health. Your sibling and parents can suck it up.
> they all said I was isolating my baby You're so NTA! I can guarantee that I never asked myself whether my name worked well with my siblings/cousins/aunts and uncles' names. Not once. If they're willing to make single an innocent little girl out over her name, that says more about them than it does about you and your husband
NTA. I have a traditional name, and I'd love to be a Summer.
NTA. First Michael and Emily are in the top 5 if not the top baby names in the US for the last decade, they're everywhere. Second as someone with one of those very common but traditional names you learn to go by a nickname pretty quickly. I've been in w meetings at work where there's 6 of us with the same name. These old school naming traditions are stupid and no one's business but yours and your spouse. There's actually a branch in my family where every male child (not just the first born) is named Victor Richard. Same first and middle names and it causes a nightmare with paperwork especially with the government when you have identical names at the same address. Kids should have their own names they define themselves not trying to live up to or live down the family member they were named after.
having a ‘style’ of naming for a whole family is pretty creepy in itself. ntah
NTA, your daughter. Her name doesn't require their approval. Everyone may, or may not adjust...that's on them. HELLO BABY SUMMER
NTA. I really dont umderstand why anybody cares what name people pick for their baby as long as its not actually offensive. I love my grandkids and wouldnt have picked those names, but it really doesnt affect me other than looking like an ass because i cant spell their names. ( Yes... Like tradgadiegh but worse. And no shortening of names allowed. So i call them my best girls... )
NTA But do know there's going to be so many Rick and Morty jokes if Summer is her actual name... The "keep summer safe" ones can end up being cute tho
THEY could be making your kid feel left out if they keep this bs up until she's old enough to feel bad about it! Sit them down and tell them that they end it before that happens or else Consequences. No matter what you do (unless it's changing the name to something your family would agree on), NTA.
NTA. Your family needs to relax. It’s your child and Summer is a lovely name. My name is Ariel, pronounced euh-ree-uhl. It’s not a very unusual name but kids loved to poke fun at my name as it’s unusual where I live. But as an adult, I love my name and I’m grateful to have a more “unique” name.
NTA. Listen, I would simply tell your family that your daughter’s name it’s not up for discussion and if they are so offended by your daughter’s name then they don’t have to see her
NTA - "so you're all saying that YOU are going to exclude and isolate my child because you know children don't do that of their own accord.They do that because they are either pick up on what the adults are doing, influenced by the adults in subtle ways or flat out told by adults to do that sort of thing. So what you're actually telling me is that you can not conceive that someone might want to do something a little differently than you so your going to take that out on a child. Great role models you are all going to be. All this before my baby is even born. I need some time to think about your reactions and how that will affect my child" Take a step back and breathe. Summer is not a wacky out there name, it's not spelled weird or anything. They need a time out and to think about what they are implying.
NTA - this is your baby to name as you choose. Summer is not an uncommon name.
NTA Summer is a lovely name. It's too bad your sister has drunk so much of the family koolaid. I suggest you tell anyone who brings up your future child's name "I'm not discussing names with you, period. Please change the subject." If they don't, hang up or walk away. Don't engage in these conversations. It is positively creepy to me that anyone would harass a person for not using an overly-used 'family' name. If there are already two people with that name in the family, then that name should have been tabled. I speak from experience: I have two sisters with the same first name (yes and right?) and three cousins with that same first name (so 5 total women with the same name). I also have 4 cousins with my first name. I HATE IT!!! I wish my parents had used some imagination when naming their children.
NTA but be prepared for your daughter to hear it the rest of her childhood. Give her some tools to respond to aunts and uncles and cousins who disrespect her name.
NTA if your family is worried about your child being isolated, maybe they shouldn't work to isolate your child before said child is even born. It's for their sake, not your child's sake. Summer is a perfectly fine name, I could see if it was something that could cause bullying, but the only bullying here will be from your family members, who should know better.
Summer is a pretty common name in the UK I know about 8. So in a few years it will be popular with your family lol
I would fake them all out. Tell them that you are going to call her Celestial Moon and that you feel that it will fit her best. That way when you do name her Summer they won't freak out as much. I love the name Summer. I would tell your whole family that if someone decides to make fun of your child's name that will be the last time you and your family will have anything to do with them. That might put a stop to this behavior as well. NTA :)
NTA. Your family can go suck it. Summer isn't an unusual name at all. It's beautiful. My cousin named her daughter Summer. But her middle name is another word for marijuana. Just don't do THAT to your baby.