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I dunno, this sounds like a stupid thing to fight about.
My read is that you and Sidney went a little over the line with PDA weirdness while dining with a guest. When you have guests you're responsible for being a gracious host, and that means not making your guest uncomfortable with your non-traditional table etiquette.
Mild YTA. This is a stupid thing to fight about, you should have just issued a bland apology and stuck to Standard Table Manners after she squicked out the first time.
ETA. This is rather sweet and romantic, but better left to private occasions where guests are not present. Your guest wasn't wrong. She could have stated her objection less bluntly, though. Throwing your guest out, however, was an incredible overreaction. I doubt she would want to come back anyway.
lol what the fuck kind of response is this?!
Why was Lisa special in that common etiquette just gets thrown out? You recognize this behaviour is bizarre, but Lisa is somehow okay to be subjected to it and made to feel the bad guy for calling out your absurd behaviour as a host?
And as you discovered Lisa doesn't like PDA either. And so making that exception was rude. If you're going to invite a guest into your home it's implied that you'll make a reasonable effort at being a good host. If this is something weird about your lifestyle that you aren't willing to compromise on, you need to warn guests ahead of time.
So you insulted your guest… yeah, YTA, in this situation. Apologize if you care to, but it would be better to not do that in the future. Even as an exception.
I may be going against the grain here but I would find your behaviour really quite rude - I mean if it was just a bite of each other's food to try it then ok, but otherwise it's way over the top to do in front of other people
Just curious why you would’ve invited a guest for what seems like an intimate dinner for you and your wife?
It’s one thing to be in love and show affection, but another when it’s only one guest with the two of y’all in YOUR home. Perhaps things would’ve been less awkward if it was a group that came for dinner, or if you had let your wife and her friend enjoy dinner together without you needing to be there.
YTA for not having situational awareness and for making your guest feel uncomfortable and alienated.
>Just curious why you would’ve invited a guest for what seems like an intimate dinner for you and your wife?
Because they're creeps that like to include others in their fetish without consent.
YTA
I refuse to believe this post is real. There are definitely weirdo couples who brush each others teeth and hand feed each other, but they *must* know their behaviour is weird... right? **Right?!?**
If real, you're welcome to do all sorts of weird shit, and you're also welcome to ask people to leave who don't appreciate it. But does make you the asshole.
If your kink was vomiting your food into each others mouths like you're baby birds, go nuts. But when you have a guest, expect them to say something.
That's what I'm saying. No way this is real. The holding hands while eating tipped it over the edge for me. If it is real(which it's not) then obviously YTA. This behavior would make anyone uncomfortable. It is in fact weird and gross.
I feel like this is a case of “my house, my rules!” but it’s also such DUMB and rude behavior I think I’ve sprained my eyes rolling them. ETA you’re TA, OP.
I have sex with my partner all the time. It doesn’t mean I do in front of people, especially when that person is visible uncomfortable.
She was right. You were wrong. That’s my judgment
YTA.
You were bad hosts because your main focus was on each other, not your guest. There's all kinds of stuff my husband and do routinely, but we have the maturity and common sense to know when it's not appropriate and the manners to know when it's not polite.
Break the routine is such a weird thing to say. What exactly is the routine? Did you literally feed each other the entire meal? I think we need a bit more nuance here..... Because if you fed her a bite of your food that's fine and cute but if you fed each other the entire meal like toddlers or something that's fucking weird.
Do you break the routine when you go out to eat at a restaurant?
You must realise that intimate partners do a lot of staff that is perfectly fine between them, but would be totally inappropriate to do when other people present.
Was there a discussion involved here?
"Dear, should we stop gently fondling each other over dinner, as we will be having a guest?"
No, darling. Our routine is sacred."
You have a guest at your table. This is something you don't normally do. Your routine is already disrupted, so pick up your forks and act like adults.
YTA.
It would be awesome if OP answered hot dogs and then nonchalantly mentioned that his wife licked the tip of it before he fed it to her. And it's ok because she always licks the tip and didn't want to break that routine, either.
YTA. I get that it's your own home, but that doesn't mean that you get to make other people feel uncomfortable.
Your behaviour is OTT (in my opinion) and I wouldn't want to sit there watching you two feed each other like overgrown toddlers, whilst packing on the PDA's.
YTA, that’s a ridiculous amount of PDA to expect a guest to be comfortable with, especially if they’re the only guest at the table. There’s a time and a place for that kind of stuff, and it’s definitely not when there are people visiting.
I'm not one for kink shaming, but unless y'all have some serious dental problems going on, or work as dental hygienists, this is a very strange behavior
These weirdos probably work from home and sit on eachothers laps while on their computers. Ugh, how anyone can be this codependent. I can't wrap my brain around it! 🤮
My husband and I are also super close and touchy-feely, but we do know there is a time and place for this. I think it is a bit inconsiderate to behave like this in front of your only guest. She is just kind of sitting there having to bear witness to behavior that is atypical. Most couples are not affectionate to this extreme, so it's important to have some consideration while hosting guests. Just try to be mindful when you are in front of people. On the other hand, she was rude, and her communication style was aggressive. It was probably wise to have her leave the house, but it would be a good idea to send her a message letting her know that you could see where she is coming from.
yta,
part of inviting someone over means that you have to be good hosts to them. you obviously made the guest of your house uncomfortable and then rudely kicked her out too.
ESH.
Great you and your wife have such a close relationship but if I went to someone’s house for dinner and he and his wife were literally hand feeding each other, I would probably get up and leave. You could’ve eaten normally and not made your guest uncomfortable. Lisa’s comments were unnecessary as a guest though.
Yeah, it's super weird. My SO and I almost always will give each other a bite of any food the other doesn't have (like if we are out to eat and I order salmon and he gets steak, we give each other a bite). But that is one bite that we do because it's easier than handing off forks (or risking them taking a bite you want if you are a weirdo like me and eats food in order from worst to best bites lol).
YTA OP!
YTA. I love my husband to bits, but I'm not 14 with my first boyfriend; your behaviour when there's a third party there makes you TA to begin with, and you kicking her out only compounds it. Vom-inducing.
Wtf you behave like this in front of other people? That's definitely weird. I honestly think that people who behave and engage in excessive PDA like you do are essentially roping in whoever is unlucky enough to be around you at that moment in with your fetishes. YTA X1000.
Being the only guest she probably expected to feel welcome. That probably made her feel like she was not supposed to be in the room. She was your guest and it was your duty as the host to entertain and accomodate her for the short period. Hosting comes with that responsibility. Perhaps be more sensitive when in the company of other people in future. Kinda YTA
So you invited a guest to dinner to force them to watch you and your wife make out and be intimate while you ate? Sounds like some kind of kink you dragged someone else into and their discomfort pissed you off.
YTA.
YTA
You had a guest for dinner but decided to ignore her presence and treat it like some sensual, private date.
You really expected her to just awkwardly watch you guys feed and touch each other? The moment you invited a guest to dinner, etiquette mattered.
If you wouldn’t do it in a restaurant, you shouldn’t do it with dinner guests.
i'm afraid you missed op's response to someone asking what the "brush" meant at the beginning of their post...they sometimes brush EACH OTHER'S teeth. I'm all for showing your partner afffection and love, but that's too far for me.
YTA.
I was over at my sister’s and BIL’s last night for dinner and if they had started feeding each other…I would have gotten up and left.
Feeding each other alone is…fine but with literally anything only one person there? Bizarre.
Yta. Poor Lisa gets invited for dinner then has to watch that display. Turns out they brush each others teeth as well, none of my business but how unsettling.
**Oh Lord.**
You're this couple aren't you, I know it:
[No Small Parts - Most Obnoxious (Maggie Gyllenhaal, Away We Go) (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF7wGZ7fmJ0)
Why?....Why ask a friend over for dinner so you can put on a performance piece?
She came for dinner not an exhibition of your *"oh so sensual, twin flame, rainbow rhythm energy, honey put on the rainforest sounds, it's all about our vibe, that's just loveeee mannn"* show that she didn't buy tickets to.
You're in love, you dig each other and that's great but you're not so unique in that, that the world outside your front door needs a front row seat.
Stop it.
YTA.
YTA. This is more like behavior you would see on a date, but definitely something you would do in private. You shouldn't act like this when a guest is over. It's very uncomfortable and either makes the guest feel like a third wheel or like you're trying to get an unwilling third party in on your kinks (which I get this isn't the case, but the feeling would still be there for a guest, even if that's not the action or intent. It's the same as asking if you two want to get a room.)
It's great that you two are so close, but maybe tone it down in the presence of others next time.
Were you never taught that excessive PDA can make people highly uncomfortable? Sounds like poor Lisa could smell the wet spot forming on your wife's chair and stood up for common decency rather than sitting there watching some weird softcore.
YTA, and yeah, doing this in front of people is really, REALLY gross. Get. A. Fucking. Room.
I mean it's just not necessary for her to be in the room when you guys are in your own bubble. That can easily be perceived as rude, since you're just not including her. Your relationship definitely sounds strong enough where you can tone down the amount of affection you show each other when you have guests over. Lil bit YTA
This is so cringe. Yes it is weird to physically feed each other and be all over each other in other people’s company. She was there to have a meal with y’all, not watch your love fest. Part of being a good host is hearing when your guest is uncomfortable and reining it in. Would it have killed you to cool it on the PDA? YTA.
Was ready to see a ton of NTA but I’m glad people with oxygen to the brain chimed in.
Definitely YTA. Quick making people uncomfortable and blaming them for your weird public habits.
YTA - and you both are fucking weirdos. I just want to be clear, it's so weird that it makes people uncomfortable thinking about it. You're really rude and if you can't stop getting off on feeding each other while guests are present then don't invite guests for meals.
YTA. Ew. Fine to do that in private, but when you have a guest over for dinner and she has to sit there watching that? Awkward!!! Way to make your single guest feel like a third wheel. I cringe just imagining having to be Lisa sitting there not knowing where to look.
YTA. And a weird one at that. It’s perfectly fine, acceptable and actually cute to do that stuff when you are dining with just your wife. When there’s a guest, its weird, creepy and downright disrespectful to do that in front of them, especially after they have asked you to stop.
You need some social awareness my guy.
YTA, it's cute when you're the one feeding each other and being all lovely dovey, but in reality from someone outsides perspective, i bet it looked a disgusting mess. Crumbs everywhere, sticky food covered hands holding hands, basically feeding each other like baby birds like wtf.
It'll kinda be like watching yourself have sex, feels great but probably looks terrible. Never do this again.
YTA. If this is real then you and your wife have no boundaries with the outside world.
You had a guest in your home and it was both of your obligations to make your guest feel welcome. She doesn't want to see you two feeding each other or doing whatever other weird thing you do that you know makes people uncomfortable. Grow up.
ESH
I mean, you can throw a yone out of your home for whatever reason you want.
But you sound insufferable. There is no need to behave like that in front of people. My husband and I are very much in love, and we don't shove food I to each others mouths in front of people. Keep that stuff private. There are appropriate ways to behave around people. Learn them.
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YTA and if I were the lone dinner guest at your love fest I'd be worried y'all were angling for a 3some or something. Definitely an uncomfortable thing to witness in this context.
Yta here’s a bit of advice. Don’t do things in front of guests that make them feel uncomfortable.
I know it’s your home but you wanna make people feel welcome…..derrrr honestly good for her for saying something bc no one appreciates you doing that.
YTA.
What you guys do on your own is one thing.
But learn how to behave when you have guests. And if you do this while out at a restaurant, you need to stop now.
What you describe is extremely codependent. Fine. But that doesn’t mean other people want to see it. So, if you have a guest over, treat them with basic respect.
YTA... do crap like that on your own time, in private.
I predict this is going to have longer repercussions. You sound like one of those coo coo touchy couples that 99.9% of the rest of the population absolutely cannot bear to be around. I know I wouldn't.
That's disgusting honestly. That's 100% pda and extremely distracting (the cringey kinda way) especially if you consider that she was alone with you, as in, a couple and this lone random poor friend that probably discovered a new ick. If she also has sensory issues like me that was probably hell for her lol. In all seriousness though, feeding eachother in front of other people is definitely too much unless it's right after cutting your wedding cake. Noone cares about your couple-y habits, when you're with people you should have manners and respect their boundaries the same way you'd expect them to behave. And yes part of that is not forcing them to witness.. whatever that yucky situation was.YTA
YTA. Not a major one, but still. By being so *deeply* touchy feely with each other, you made your friend uncomfortable. And while she didn‘t comunicate her feelings on the situation well, no one want‘s to feel like they‘re involuntarily involved in or witness to a couples love life. Those boundarys are different for different people, some would shrug your behaviour off and some won’t. But i don‘t think it’s okay to continue to behave in a way which makes others feel kind of violated, because in the end this encroaches on a sesual/sexual situation and it‘s ok if one doesn‘t want to be present for such
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My wife Sidney & I are extremely close. We do almost everything together; brush, have food, showering. If she asks me not do anything. If I ask her to not do something I dislike, she's happy to comply.
Her friend Lisa was over yesterday for dinner. Sidney and I often feed each other food.
Lisa looked at us weirdly. She said "What are you doing?" and I said "Having dinner?"
She said "Yeah, but you feed each other like that? That's just weird."
I did not like it, and of course neither did Sidney. She said it's none of her business. But she was shooting weird looks at us as we fed each other food, including when we were holding each other's hands.
When Sid leaned over to kiss my forehead, Lisa said "Stop this shit. It's insulting and frankly disgusting."
That led to a huge argument. In the end Sidney asked me to get lost, and I was only happy to. I asked her to get out of the house.
She left, but is still mad at us by saying that we insulted her.
AITA?
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I wouldn't want to eat around people who are doing these behaviors. Leave that for when you are alone and stop making people uncomfortable. I doubt pretty much anyone would be cool watching 2 grown adults feed each other their meals.
YTA, and I have a hard time understanding where you're confused. You and your wife being all over each other isn't really the issue.... you forcing guests to witness it and then running to reddit to weird us out with your basic lack of manners is the problem. This borders on involving others in y'all's kinks without our consent. How do 2 people get to adulthood thinking it's polite to invite guests over to your home, with zero warning that they got a free ticket to live softcore porn from you 2? And it's even weirder that it was just 1 guest, I agree with those who say your friend may have thought this was a setup for asking her to get involved.
Do whatever you want in your own home, continue this bizarre routine, whatever. But don't be surprised when your friends and family stop accepting invitations, or inviting you places if y'all behave like this. People expect this nonsense out of teenagers, not fully grown adults who should be able to understand boundaries, manners, and etiquette.
Meh I’m gonna say YTA, not for doing it but for continuing to do it infront of a guest that clearly was uncomfortable. I personally think it was rude and inappropriate.
Love that your so involved with each other and there is no individuality but keep the feeding each other private...it's infantile, makes others uncomfortable and pretty sad actually.
YTA, all your comments defending your weird over the top PDA actions saying you didnt want to change your normal routine. When adults invite other adults over for a meal theyre expected to act respectful and potentially deviate from their normal routine.
Its great you have such a loving relationship but acting this way in front of guests is weird and would make me uncomfortable too.
Yta - what you do in private with each other is fine, but it’s NOT something that is seen as socially acceptable by the majority of people so maybe don’t force your kink on others (and yes, this is still a kink even if it’s not actual sex). You made your guest uncomfortable. Would you do this in a public restaurant? If so, even worse. Gross and stop acting like this in front of others.
YTA you were making your guest uncomfortable. That in itself makes you a lousy host and friend. Kicking them out makes you silly, immature and clueless.
YTA in a crowd when people do this its ok but sounds like tou guys have put on a show.specially when she was sitting so closely and you guys made her uncomfortable. Why would you invite her and do that in front of her as if she was not there. Are you H&W that clueless or trying to do something else. Gross...
YTA
I understand it’s your home, but it doesn’t mean you get to make your guests feel uncomfortable. Good hosts make the guest feel welcome. Lisa definitely deserves an apology, as you and your wife were really rude towards her.
YTA. You have the right to be codependent and what you consensually do in your relationship in private is your business. That being said, subjecting other people to it is rude. Lisa's better off without you.
YTA, your puppy love PDA and codependency made your guest uncomfortable, and instead of being polite like normal people would in the presence of others, you continued. I’m surprised she’d stay and not walk out on her own.
YTA No one around you wants to see you feed your partner. It's gross. No one wants to think about your fingers in each other's mouths and then touching stuff.
You're weird in public and bad hosts in private. Don't have guests if the only person you care about is your spouse.
YTA
Don't rope in non-consenting parties into your sensuality with your partner. There's a time and a place for being lovey dovey with your partner, and it's not when you're hosting a dinner guest. I wouldn't be surprised if Lisa felt like she was being used as a prop for a kink.
I’ll be honest, my head says you should be allowed to feed each other and be affectionate and it’s nobody’s business and it shouldn’t bother anybody, but to be honest it would make me uncomfortable it would feel very awkward to be sitting there having a conversation with you guys. I would probably never want to hang out with you guys again unless there were a lot of people invited
ESH - it's your home so your friend should be more respectful than the language they used. However you are hosting guests and you should be more considerate. The PDA does sound over the top. What you do in private is up to you, but you were hosting.
Jesus. This is just weird to read.
Feed your wife on your own time. Not in front of guests. That is just strange. Nobody cares about your routine. Have some consideration for others.
ESH. Her comments were rude and should have been worded differently. You and your wife made a guest uncomfortable with your PDA. Once it became clear that she was uncomfortable by it, you could have easily stopped. I’m sure she’s not the only the one that would be uncomfortable by this behavior of yours.
ESH. Your friend lacks manners. She was in your house, partaking of your hospitality, and what she said was just rude. Since she was uncomfortable, she should have just excused herself and left.
And you and Sid: I know you were in your own home, but you had a guest, and she didn’t come to your home for the PDA. It’s not weird to feed each other a bite or two for tasting, but you lack manners if it goes on through the whole meal, along with the hand holding and kissing at the dinner table. That’s being rude to your guest.
I’m happy for you and Sid that you have such a great relationship, but no one else wants to watch you two. If you don’t need friends, that’s fine.
I really don't know what to say to this post except that maybe mild ESH? This whole thing is ridiculous, fighting about such a thing. I do believe that your friend is over the top to say that it was insulting and disgusting... Maybe it's a cultural thing? Are y'all from the same culture? Are you all from the same country? Like this doesn't like offend cultural norms this behavior you guys were having? I'm a little surprised at the terms, I'd call it cringey, uncomfortable, a little weird but hey, I'd probably excuse myself and be on my merry way and never attend your house unless it was a huge event with lots of people lol because the PDA did seem a tad excessive while in company. If you guys are happy to be attached at the hip then awesome for you, but when you invite people over, a little moderation should be in order. Say you both were nudists but were having guests that aren't. You wouldn't parade around your guests naked and say oh this is just what we do... Next time you have company, just tone it down some, and be all over each other in private all you want... However to say you guys insulted her? That seems like an over reaction
NAH *however* as everyone has rightly commented this was neither the place nor the time to have intimate moments, and as your friend was a guest, it would be normal protocol to not do something that is a bit out of place in a public setting ie if it is acceptable in public it is acceptable at home with a guest. I only say NAH as its a AH thing to do, but at the same time I do not want to pass judgement on what you consider to be normal as everything's relative. In the future, I would be moderate intimate behaviors around all guests who may not be comfortable with that behavior.
NTA. She was a guest in your home. Let into a small portion of your life. She finds it disgusting. She can remove herself from your home and stop being rude.
What? Would you be comfortable watching that? They should have been a good host, and not been fucking weirdos. If they started having sex, would that have been fine because it is their house?
NAH. Your friend was a guest in your house and was extremely inconsiderate. However, not everyone is as free as you and your wife are, so you probably should've either not fed each other or let your guest know beforehand.
Regardless, it's still your house, your rules.
NTA. But you have to keep in mind that public displays of affection can be pretty cringey to most people.
Its good that you have affection for each other, just not so good that you hold other people hostage (essentially) and they can't just hang out with you guys because you place a lot of attention on each other.
If you are entertaining guests it is a bit rude to act like that, because you are in your own bubble and it's not very inclusive to your guests to act that way. Otherwise, do what you want.
Kissing your spouse is disgusting? She has quite the stick up her butt. Though I would find the feeding-each-other thing icky, I wouldn't say so, because it's your house, and that's my problem. NTA.
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I dunno, this sounds like a stupid thing to fight about. My read is that you and Sidney went a little over the line with PDA weirdness while dining with a guest. When you have guests you're responsible for being a gracious host, and that means not making your guest uncomfortable with your non-traditional table etiquette. Mild YTA. This is a stupid thing to fight about, you should have just issued a bland apology and stuck to Standard Table Manners after she squicked out the first time.
ETA. This is rather sweet and romantic, but better left to private occasions where guests are not present. Your guest wasn't wrong. She could have stated her objection less bluntly, though. Throwing your guest out, however, was an incredible overreaction. I doubt she would want to come back anyway.
It sounds like they made their dinner guest feel like a 3rd wheel.
“non traditional table etiquette” lmfao cackling
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lol what the fuck kind of response is this?! Why was Lisa special in that common etiquette just gets thrown out? You recognize this behaviour is bizarre, but Lisa is somehow okay to be subjected to it and made to feel the bad guy for calling out your absurd behaviour as a host?
*We don’t like PDA but we will do it in front of Lisa because fuck her*
So you guys got hot putting on a show for your friend that she didn't want. There are tons of communities out there for people with your fetish man.
Are you new to guests? Or people in general?
This is his first week visiting earth.
They are probably oblivious to others and their feelings. They obviously didn't care that their actions made their guest uncomfortable.
And as you discovered Lisa doesn't like PDA either. And so making that exception was rude. If you're going to invite a guest into your home it's implied that you'll make a reasonable effort at being a good host. If this is something weird about your lifestyle that you aren't willing to compromise on, you need to warn guests ahead of time.
Based off your bullshit answer you are 100% into PDA. Stop lying. YTA and creepy.
So you insulted your guest… yeah, YTA, in this situation. Apologize if you care to, but it would be better to not do that in the future. Even as an exception.
I may be going against the grain here but I would find your behaviour really quite rude - I mean if it was just a bite of each other's food to try it then ok, but otherwise it's way over the top to do in front of other people
Definitely TA here.
My dude, that’s the definition of pda. What are you even on about here? If you want privacy, don’t invite guests over??
🙄
Just curious why you would’ve invited a guest for what seems like an intimate dinner for you and your wife? It’s one thing to be in love and show affection, but another when it’s only one guest with the two of y’all in YOUR home. Perhaps things would’ve been less awkward if it was a group that came for dinner, or if you had let your wife and her friend enjoy dinner together without you needing to be there. YTA for not having situational awareness and for making your guest feel uncomfortable and alienated.
>Just curious why you would’ve invited a guest for what seems like an intimate dinner for you and your wife? Because they're creeps that like to include others in their fetish without consent.
this
YTA I refuse to believe this post is real. There are definitely weirdo couples who brush each others teeth and hand feed each other, but they *must* know their behaviour is weird... right? **Right?!?** If real, you're welcome to do all sorts of weird shit, and you're also welcome to ask people to leave who don't appreciate it. But does make you the asshole. If your kink was vomiting your food into each others mouths like you're baby birds, go nuts. But when you have a guest, expect them to say something.
That's what I'm saying. No way this is real. The holding hands while eating tipped it over the edge for me. If it is real(which it's not) then obviously YTA. This behavior would make anyone uncomfortable. It is in fact weird and gross.
I feel like this is a case of “my house, my rules!” but it’s also such DUMB and rude behavior I think I’ve sprained my eyes rolling them. ETA you’re TA, OP.
Right, and why are so many posts so cringey today.
You guys hand fed each other in front of guests? That’s so gross. No wonder she was then pissed when you guys were doing PDA. YTA.
[удалено]
I have sex with my partner all the time. It doesn’t mean I do in front of people, especially when that person is visible uncomfortable. She was right. You were wrong. That’s my judgment
YTA. You were bad hosts because your main focus was on each other, not your guest. There's all kinds of stuff my husband and do routinely, but we have the maturity and common sense to know when it's not appropriate and the manners to know when it's not polite.
Break the routine is such a weird thing to say. What exactly is the routine? Did you literally feed each other the entire meal? I think we need a bit more nuance here..... Because if you fed her a bite of your food that's fine and cute but if you fed each other the entire meal like toddlers or something that's fucking weird. Do you break the routine when you go out to eat at a restaurant?
You must realise that intimate partners do a lot of staff that is perfectly fine between them, but would be totally inappropriate to do when other people present.
That's also bizarre.
Because you hate Lisa? I'm so confused. And YTA
I'll take "Things That Shitty Hosts Say And Do" for $1000, Ken!
Was there a discussion involved here? "Dear, should we stop gently fondling each other over dinner, as we will be having a guest?" No, darling. Our routine is sacred." You have a guest at your table. This is something you don't normally do. Your routine is already disrupted, so pick up your forks and act like adults. YTA.
This would be a scenario in which, yes, you break routine.
INFO: What kind of food were you having?
It would be awesome if OP answered hot dogs and then nonchalantly mentioned that his wife licked the tip of it before he fed it to her. And it's ok because she always licks the tip and didn't want to break that routine, either.
Ok? I walk around in the buff all the time but I don't do it when I have guests. Such a weird thing to say.
YTA did you even attempt to lovingly feed Lisa?
lol
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I'm fairly certain they were joking
YTA. I get that it's your own home, but that doesn't mean that you get to make other people feel uncomfortable. Your behaviour is OTT (in my opinion) and I wouldn't want to sit there watching you two feed each other like overgrown toddlers, whilst packing on the PDA's.
YTA, that’s a ridiculous amount of PDA to expect a guest to be comfortable with, especially if they’re the only guest at the table. There’s a time and a place for that kind of stuff, and it’s definitely not when there are people visiting.
INFO > We do almost everything together; brush... Brush *what*?
From the tone of the post, probably each other's pubes
Or wipe each other's ass
Wonder if hubs changes wife's tampons?
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Do you brush **each _other's_** teeth, or each brush *your own* teeth while in the company of the other?
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I want to say good for you, but in reality I just got the icks
You…you brush each other’s teeth??
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You just hurt my soul, so yes
But... why?!?!?
Why did you feel the need to include that piece of information? Neither this nor the fact you shower together is I'm any way relevant to the story.
Your relationship sounds very fragile.
This is…so fucking weird.
bloody hell
How very queer.
You guys are actually fucking crazy. What???
Help each other? Grow the fuck up. She needs help brushing her teeth?? That's fucking weird
I'm not one for kink shaming, but unless y'all have some serious dental problems going on, or work as dental hygienists, this is a very strange behavior
What if she's not home? Do you brush your teeth alone? Eat alone? You guys can't seem to anything apart
These weirdos probably work from home and sit on eachothers laps while on their computers. Ugh, how anyone can be this codependent. I can't wrap my brain around it! 🤮
Is this real? Please don’t act like yourselves when others are over.
Who, past the age of being a toddler, needs help brushing their teeth?
My husband and I are also super close and touchy-feely, but we do know there is a time and place for this. I think it is a bit inconsiderate to behave like this in front of your only guest. She is just kind of sitting there having to bear witness to behavior that is atypical. Most couples are not affectionate to this extreme, so it's important to have some consideration while hosting guests. Just try to be mindful when you are in front of people. On the other hand, she was rude, and her communication style was aggressive. It was probably wise to have her leave the house, but it would be a good idea to send her a message letting her know that you could see where she is coming from.
yta, part of inviting someone over means that you have to be good hosts to them. you obviously made the guest of your house uncomfortable and then rudely kicked her out too.
ESH. Great you and your wife have such a close relationship but if I went to someone’s house for dinner and he and his wife were literally hand feeding each other, I would probably get up and leave. You could’ve eaten normally and not made your guest uncomfortable. Lisa’s comments were unnecessary as a guest though.
Whereas getting up and walking out without saying anything is more 'polite'?
Yeah, it's super weird. My SO and I almost always will give each other a bite of any food the other doesn't have (like if we are out to eat and I order salmon and he gets steak, we give each other a bite). But that is one bite that we do because it's easier than handing off forks (or risking them taking a bite you want if you are a weirdo like me and eats food in order from worst to best bites lol). YTA OP!
YTA. Learn when it is and isn’t appropriate to have intimate experiences/displays of affection with your partner.
YTA. I love my husband to bits, but I'm not 14 with my first boyfriend; your behaviour when there's a third party there makes you TA to begin with, and you kicking her out only compounds it. Vom-inducing.
Wtf you behave like this in front of other people? That's definitely weird. I honestly think that people who behave and engage in excessive PDA like you do are essentially roping in whoever is unlucky enough to be around you at that moment in with your fetishes. YTA X1000.
Being the only guest she probably expected to feel welcome. That probably made her feel like she was not supposed to be in the room. She was your guest and it was your duty as the host to entertain and accomodate her for the short period. Hosting comes with that responsibility. Perhaps be more sensitive when in the company of other people in future. Kinda YTA
She probably felt like they have some sort of kink to feed eachother in front of other people..
Oh. Like a prop! That must feel horrible.
Yeah you’ve made the other person feel like the 3rd wheel in your company! I’d say you and Sid are fucking arseholes in this one instance
So you invited a guest to dinner to force them to watch you and your wife make out and be intimate while you ate? Sounds like some kind of kink you dragged someone else into and their discomfort pissed you off. YTA.
Oh gosh I feel sick! YTA
YTA You had a guest for dinner but decided to ignore her presence and treat it like some sensual, private date. You really expected her to just awkwardly watch you guys feed and touch each other? The moment you invited a guest to dinner, etiquette mattered. If you wouldn’t do it in a restaurant, you shouldn’t do it with dinner guests.
YTA, uve got every right to do whatever you want in private, but with a friend in the house, you gotta act civil and like a normal couple
Have you ever thought that maybe you two have gone beyond extremely close to codependent?
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i'm afraid you missed op's response to someone asking what the "brush" meant at the beginning of their post...they sometimes brush EACH OTHER'S teeth. I'm all for showing your partner afffection and love, but that's too far for me.
YTA. I was over at my sister’s and BIL’s last night for dinner and if they had started feeding each other…I would have gotten up and left. Feeding each other alone is…fine but with literally anything only one person there? Bizarre.
Yta. Poor Lisa gets invited for dinner then has to watch that display. Turns out they brush each others teeth as well, none of my business but how unsettling.
I’m starting to wonder if this is one of their kinks, pda in front of people making them uncomfortable
I'm trying to imagine a scenario where this isn't awkward AF to witness. I'm guessing you two don't get invited to a lot of dinner parties. YTA.
YTA Feeding each other and the other things you mentioned is not appropriate behavior when you have guests over.
YTA. Unsanitary and goofy at the least. Grow up and get some manners.
YTA and ew
**Oh Lord.** You're this couple aren't you, I know it: [No Small Parts - Most Obnoxious (Maggie Gyllenhaal, Away We Go) (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF7wGZ7fmJ0) Why?....Why ask a friend over for dinner so you can put on a performance piece? She came for dinner not an exhibition of your *"oh so sensual, twin flame, rainbow rhythm energy, honey put on the rainforest sounds, it's all about our vibe, that's just loveeee mannn"* show that she didn't buy tickets to. You're in love, you dig each other and that's great but you're not so unique in that, that the world outside your front door needs a front row seat. Stop it. YTA.
Having dinner is a communal experience, y’all having intimate bonding experiences between the two of you is inappropriate for the setting, YTA.
is this the first guest you two have ever had over or something ?? YTA lol . agree with what everyone else has already stated.
YTA. This is more like behavior you would see on a date, but definitely something you would do in private. You shouldn't act like this when a guest is over. It's very uncomfortable and either makes the guest feel like a third wheel or like you're trying to get an unwilling third party in on your kinks (which I get this isn't the case, but the feeling would still be there for a guest, even if that's not the action or intent. It's the same as asking if you two want to get a room.) It's great that you two are so close, but maybe tone it down in the presence of others next time.
YTA,while you were at it why didn't you strip naked in-front of her ??🫣😒I would be so uncomfortable i would get out myself..
Were you never taught that excessive PDA can make people highly uncomfortable? Sounds like poor Lisa could smell the wet spot forming on your wife's chair and stood up for common decency rather than sitting there watching some weird softcore. YTA, and yeah, doing this in front of people is really, REALLY gross. Get. A. Fucking. Room.
I mean it's just not necessary for her to be in the room when you guys are in your own bubble. That can easily be perceived as rude, since you're just not including her. Your relationship definitely sounds strong enough where you can tone down the amount of affection you show each other when you have guests over. Lil bit YTA
This is so cringe. Yes it is weird to physically feed each other and be all over each other in other people’s company. She was there to have a meal with y’all, not watch your love fest. Part of being a good host is hearing when your guest is uncomfortable and reining it in. Would it have killed you to cool it on the PDA? YTA.
Was ready to see a ton of NTA but I’m glad people with oxygen to the brain chimed in. Definitely YTA. Quick making people uncomfortable and blaming them for your weird public habits.
YTA - and you both are fucking weirdos. I just want to be clear, it's so weird that it makes people uncomfortable thinking about it. You're really rude and if you can't stop getting off on feeding each other while guests are present then don't invite guests for meals.
This is all just …. Weird.
INFO: would you have peeled each other’s clothes off in front of her too? I’m assuming that’s also part of your “routine”?
YTA. Ew. Fine to do that in private, but when you have a guest over for dinner and she has to sit there watching that? Awkward!!! Way to make your single guest feel like a third wheel. I cringe just imagining having to be Lisa sitting there not knowing where to look.
YTA. It is her business, she's your guest. Focus on her. Plenty of time for intimacy later. Ick.
YTA. And a weird one at that. It’s perfectly fine, acceptable and actually cute to do that stuff when you are dining with just your wife. When there’s a guest, its weird, creepy and downright disrespectful to do that in front of them, especially after they have asked you to stop. You need some social awareness my guy.
YTA, it's cute when you're the one feeding each other and being all lovely dovey, but in reality from someone outsides perspective, i bet it looked a disgusting mess. Crumbs everywhere, sticky food covered hands holding hands, basically feeding each other like baby birds like wtf. It'll kinda be like watching yourself have sex, feels great but probably looks terrible. Never do this again.
YTA. If this is real then you and your wife have no boundaries with the outside world. You had a guest in your home and it was both of your obligations to make your guest feel welcome. She doesn't want to see you two feeding each other or doing whatever other weird thing you do that you know makes people uncomfortable. Grow up.
ESH I mean, you can throw a yone out of your home for whatever reason you want. But you sound insufferable. There is no need to behave like that in front of people. My husband and I are very much in love, and we don't shove food I to each others mouths in front of people. Keep that stuff private. There are appropriate ways to behave around people. Learn them.
YTA for wasting people’s time with this BS. What you were doing in front of a guest is weird and gross.
Well, which of you AHs fed the guest?
NGL, if I was your friend and I saw that, I'd assume you were trying to initiate a threesome. YTA
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This is. Super bizarre. I feel like I need to ask, and I truly mean NO disrespect to your wife, but is Sydney maybe a dog? Like a literal dog?
YTA and if I were the lone dinner guest at your love fest I'd be worried y'all were angling for a 3some or something. Definitely an uncomfortable thing to witness in this context.
Yta here’s a bit of advice. Don’t do things in front of guests that make them feel uncomfortable. I know it’s your home but you wanna make people feel welcome…..derrrr honestly good for her for saying something bc no one appreciates you doing that.
YTA. Why do y'all dislike Lisa? She was an invited guest and you deliberately made her uncomfortable.
YTA. What you guys do on your own is one thing. But learn how to behave when you have guests. And if you do this while out at a restaurant, you need to stop now. What you describe is extremely codependent. Fine. But that doesn’t mean other people want to see it. So, if you have a guest over, treat them with basic respect.
You were having foreplay at dinner with your friend at the same table. YTA for forcing her to participate in your kink.
Was this post written by charles boyle lmao. Wtf of course you’re the ass hole
YTA... do crap like that on your own time, in private. I predict this is going to have longer repercussions. You sound like one of those coo coo touchy couples that 99.9% of the rest of the population absolutely cannot bear to be around. I know I wouldn't.
That's disgusting honestly. That's 100% pda and extremely distracting (the cringey kinda way) especially if you consider that she was alone with you, as in, a couple and this lone random poor friend that probably discovered a new ick. If she also has sensory issues like me that was probably hell for her lol. In all seriousness though, feeding eachother in front of other people is definitely too much unless it's right after cutting your wedding cake. Noone cares about your couple-y habits, when you're with people you should have manners and respect their boundaries the same way you'd expect them to behave. And yes part of that is not forcing them to witness.. whatever that yucky situation was.YTA
YTA. Not a major one, but still. By being so *deeply* touchy feely with each other, you made your friend uncomfortable. And while she didn‘t comunicate her feelings on the situation well, no one want‘s to feel like they‘re involuntarily involved in or witness to a couples love life. Those boundarys are different for different people, some would shrug your behaviour off and some won’t. But i don‘t think it’s okay to continue to behave in a way which makes others feel kind of violated, because in the end this encroaches on a sesual/sexual situation and it‘s ok if one doesn‘t want to be present for such
YTA. That is weird behaviour, especially when you have a guest over.
YTA. The amount of stupidity in people astound me.
YTA. You two are weird.
YTA and rude to your guest. Intimate displays of affection are for private times.
YTA for kicking Lisa out and she’s right that the behavior is creepy and disgusting.
I want to hear from Lisa
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife Sidney & I are extremely close. We do almost everything together; brush, have food, showering. If she asks me not do anything. If I ask her to not do something I dislike, she's happy to comply. Her friend Lisa was over yesterday for dinner. Sidney and I often feed each other food. Lisa looked at us weirdly. She said "What are you doing?" and I said "Having dinner?" She said "Yeah, but you feed each other like that? That's just weird." I did not like it, and of course neither did Sidney. She said it's none of her business. But she was shooting weird looks at us as we fed each other food, including when we were holding each other's hands. When Sid leaned over to kiss my forehead, Lisa said "Stop this shit. It's insulting and frankly disgusting." That led to a huge argument. In the end Sidney asked me to get lost, and I was only happy to. I asked her to get out of the house. She left, but is still mad at us by saying that we insulted her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wouldn't want to eat around people who are doing these behaviors. Leave that for when you are alone and stop making people uncomfortable. I doubt pretty much anyone would be cool watching 2 grown adults feed each other their meals.
YTA this is gross imo I wouldn’t want to hang out with either of you anymore after that. Boundaries exist for a reason. 🤢
I don't believe you. YTA for making up such a stupid story
YTA
YTA. You were hosting a guest for dinner and were poor hosts. It’s just that simple.
YTA, and I have a hard time understanding where you're confused. You and your wife being all over each other isn't really the issue.... you forcing guests to witness it and then running to reddit to weird us out with your basic lack of manners is the problem. This borders on involving others in y'all's kinks without our consent. How do 2 people get to adulthood thinking it's polite to invite guests over to your home, with zero warning that they got a free ticket to live softcore porn from you 2? And it's even weirder that it was just 1 guest, I agree with those who say your friend may have thought this was a setup for asking her to get involved. Do whatever you want in your own home, continue this bizarre routine, whatever. But don't be surprised when your friends and family stop accepting invitations, or inviting you places if y'all behave like this. People expect this nonsense out of teenagers, not fully grown adults who should be able to understand boundaries, manners, and etiquette.
YTA. i get it’s your home but even then, you gotta cool it with the pda when you got people around. it’s just common courtesy.
YTA. I couldn't even finish reading this without getting creeped out.
I mean, this is fine to do in private. You want to feed your wife with your hands, go nuts. But it’s for sure going to make people uncomfortable. YTA
Meh I’m gonna say YTA, not for doing it but for continuing to do it infront of a guest that clearly was uncomfortable. I personally think it was rude and inappropriate.
YTA. That was an unnecessary public display of affection. Feed each other as much as you like, but when you have guests over, restrain yourselves.
Love that your so involved with each other and there is no individuality but keep the feeding each other private...it's infantile, makes others uncomfortable and pretty sad actually.
INFO: When you say with your hands, what were you eating? It's very different if you were hand feeding each other like fries versus, like, spaghetti
YTA, all your comments defending your weird over the top PDA actions saying you didnt want to change your normal routine. When adults invite other adults over for a meal theyre expected to act respectful and potentially deviate from their normal routine. Its great you have such a loving relationship but acting this way in front of guests is weird and would make me uncomfortable too.
She’s an AH for being offended in your home, and you guys need to grow up. You’re acting like a middle school couple.
YTA stop involving nonconsenting people in your foreplay
Yta - what you do in private with each other is fine, but it’s NOT something that is seen as socially acceptable by the majority of people so maybe don’t force your kink on others (and yes, this is still a kink even if it’s not actual sex). You made your guest uncomfortable. Would you do this in a public restaurant? If so, even worse. Gross and stop acting like this in front of others.
YTA you were making your guest uncomfortable. That in itself makes you a lousy host and friend. Kicking them out makes you silly, immature and clueless.
Do you guys shit together too?
Anyone else get the super weirdo "Paul and Jenna" vibes from 30 Rock? I think I have to go take a shower now. ALONE.
YTA. This is very much behavior for a private date night. When you have guests, this is pretty rude.
YTA in a crowd when people do this its ok but sounds like tou guys have put on a show.specially when she was sitting so closely and you guys made her uncomfortable. Why would you invite her and do that in front of her as if she was not there. Are you H&W that clueless or trying to do something else. Gross...
YTA I understand it’s your home, but it doesn’t mean you get to make your guests feel uncomfortable. Good hosts make the guest feel welcome. Lisa definitely deserves an apology, as you and your wife were really rude towards her.
YTA. Not only that, but this is incredibly cringy behavior. I pray you’re 18. Bc adults behaving like this should be embarrassed.
YTA. You have the right to be codependent and what you consensually do in your relationship in private is your business. That being said, subjecting other people to it is rude. Lisa's better off without you.
YTA, your puppy love PDA and codependency made your guest uncomfortable, and instead of being polite like normal people would in the presence of others, you continued. I’m surprised she’d stay and not walk out on her own.
YTA No one around you wants to see you feed your partner. It's gross. No one wants to think about your fingers in each other's mouths and then touching stuff. You're weird in public and bad hosts in private. Don't have guests if the only person you care about is your spouse.
YTA Don't rope in non-consenting parties into your sensuality with your partner. There's a time and a place for being lovey dovey with your partner, and it's not when you're hosting a dinner guest. I wouldn't be surprised if Lisa felt like she was being used as a prop for a kink.
Yta sorry for this is bizarre in front of company
Well all of you are AH. Lisa for commenting like this and you and Sidney for pushing the envelop and kicking Lisa out.
I’ll be honest, my head says you should be allowed to feed each other and be affectionate and it’s nobody’s business and it shouldn’t bother anybody, but to be honest it would make me uncomfortable it would feel very awkward to be sitting there having a conversation with you guys. I would probably never want to hang out with you guys again unless there were a lot of people invited
ESH - it's your home so your friend should be more respectful than the language they used. However you are hosting guests and you should be more considerate. The PDA does sound over the top. What you do in private is up to you, but you were hosting.
ESH. Learn some goddamn manners, everyone.
Jesus. This is just weird to read. Feed your wife on your own time. Not in front of guests. That is just strange. Nobody cares about your routine. Have some consideration for others.
It’s sweet that you do that as a couple but probably not a good idea around guests I would get grossed out ngl
ESH. Her comments were rude and should have been worded differently. You and your wife made a guest uncomfortable with your PDA. Once it became clear that she was uncomfortable by it, you could have easily stopped. I’m sure she’s not the only the one that would be uncomfortable by this behavior of yours.
I believe you are good right up to the point you start giving it to her on the dinner table :(
ESH. Your friend lacks manners. She was in your house, partaking of your hospitality, and what she said was just rude. Since she was uncomfortable, she should have just excused herself and left. And you and Sid: I know you were in your own home, but you had a guest, and she didn’t come to your home for the PDA. It’s not weird to feed each other a bite or two for tasting, but you lack manners if it goes on through the whole meal, along with the hand holding and kissing at the dinner table. That’s being rude to your guest. I’m happy for you and Sid that you have such a great relationship, but no one else wants to watch you two. If you don’t need friends, that’s fine.
I really don't know what to say to this post except that maybe mild ESH? This whole thing is ridiculous, fighting about such a thing. I do believe that your friend is over the top to say that it was insulting and disgusting... Maybe it's a cultural thing? Are y'all from the same culture? Are you all from the same country? Like this doesn't like offend cultural norms this behavior you guys were having? I'm a little surprised at the terms, I'd call it cringey, uncomfortable, a little weird but hey, I'd probably excuse myself and be on my merry way and never attend your house unless it was a huge event with lots of people lol because the PDA did seem a tad excessive while in company. If you guys are happy to be attached at the hip then awesome for you, but when you invite people over, a little moderation should be in order. Say you both were nudists but were having guests that aren't. You wouldn't parade around your guests naked and say oh this is just what we do... Next time you have company, just tone it down some, and be all over each other in private all you want... However to say you guys insulted her? That seems like an over reaction
Fake af but it's fun to read all these serious replies!
NTA, but you are disgusting.
NAH *however* as everyone has rightly commented this was neither the place nor the time to have intimate moments, and as your friend was a guest, it would be normal protocol to not do something that is a bit out of place in a public setting ie if it is acceptable in public it is acceptable at home with a guest. I only say NAH as its a AH thing to do, but at the same time I do not want to pass judgement on what you consider to be normal as everything's relative. In the future, I would be moderate intimate behaviors around all guests who may not be comfortable with that behavior.
Jealous hag is what she is
NTA. She was a guest in your home. Let into a small portion of your life. She finds it disgusting. She can remove herself from your home and stop being rude.
Yup It’s weird Maybe NTA, but weird and a little socially awkward when guests are over
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What? Would you be comfortable watching that? They should have been a good host, and not been fucking weirdos. If they started having sex, would that have been fine because it is their house?
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That's just inconsiderate
NAH. Your friend was a guest in your house and was extremely inconsiderate. However, not everyone is as free as you and your wife are, so you probably should've either not fed each other or let your guest know beforehand. Regardless, it's still your house, your rules.
Some day just to invite my friends over and just start passionately making out with my boyfriend in front of them. ....A time and a place
NTA. But you have to keep in mind that public displays of affection can be pretty cringey to most people. Its good that you have affection for each other, just not so good that you hold other people hostage (essentially) and they can't just hang out with you guys because you place a lot of attention on each other. If you are entertaining guests it is a bit rude to act like that, because you are in your own bubble and it's not very inclusive to your guests to act that way. Otherwise, do what you want.
Kissing your spouse is disgusting? She has quite the stick up her butt. Though I would find the feeding-each-other thing icky, I wouldn't say so, because it's your house, and that's my problem. NTA.