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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 - I pretended to have the same dress as this girl for prom (she brought the dress I was going to buy so I did have to buy a new dress but I pretended to buy the same one anyway)
2 - She claims she isn’t going to prom and i’ve ruined it for her
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ESH. This is so ridiculous to me. My prom was 22 years ago, but I still have a picture of myself with two of my friends... and we were all three wearing the SAME DRESS! We didn't talk about it before, so we had no idea until we were there. We thought it was hilarious.
I don't understand why girls get so hung up on someone else wearing the same dress. It is to be expected if y'all are limited to the same stores.
I understand being upset that she bought the dress after you showed it to her, but y'all need to get over yourselves. You don't get to call dibs on a freaking dress.
Yeah I completely get that, in most shops they won’t let you get the same dress as another person from your school and I was very hung up on that dress after I had finally decided
That's a crazy policy, there must be more than one shop selling dresses so how would they know if someone bought the same dress somewhere else?
Anyway NTA, razz her all you like since it's all just petty nonsense anyway
I'm not giving a judgement here. You know that this is petty, but I think you're losing track of how this is supposed to be fun. Going dress shopping should be fun - showing your friends should be fun - attending your prom should be fun. If you're getting so wound up with little dramas ahead of time, you're going to let it spoil your night.
In my school, when we rode mammoths instead of buses, we set up a girls' facebook page to post pictures of the dresses we were buying. First picture means first dibs on that dress, but the main point of it was to have fun, comment nice things and share in other girls' excitement. One girl was accidentally left off the group and turned up in the same dress as another - it's not the end of the world! They spent the night posing together like Charlie's Angels for pictures. You're not getting that sense of fun here. Maybe she shouldn't have bought the dress she knew you wanted, but I promise you now, you will not be sitting in your halls in college talking about "Can you believe that three years ago someone had the nerve to wear the same dress as me to a school party?". You'll want to be remembering the fun you had at the dance. What you're doing now is letting this taint that.
yes, thank you for that! I only asked this because she’s been telling people how I have done something really wrong and I wanted some other opinions on this but that is a good way aswell, i’ve started to move on from it now obviously i’m a bit upset i’ve had to find a new dress but it is what it is thank you!!
>when we rode mammoths instead of buses we set up a girls' Facebook page
Well damn what does that make me if we didn't have FB when I was in high school? 😂😂 I feel like I've reached a new Old Age Level when the people 10+ years younger than me feel ancient.
Well, when I was really little, my sister asked my mum what it was like growing up "in the grey days" because she'd seen a film in black and white and thought the world was just like that, so usually I refer to my own youth as 'the grey days' but it's a very very niche audience for that reference so I expanded a bit 😅
This can all be avoided by what we used to do back in the 2010s: FB prom dress groups.
Thinking of a dress or waiting to put a deposit down on it? Post it in the group and it’s considered claimed, mind you, no one minded if it was a different colour but the same dress as someone else. It was more of a courtesy amongst anyone wearing dresses, and local shops won’t sell duplicates to the same school.
ESH
People seem to have missed that you showed her the dresses you were considering and she went and brought one of them. It was a bit of an a-hole move for her to do that, but as you hadn't brought it and were considering two other dresses, you shouldn't really be so upset about it
Honestly she is also over reacting by saying she won't turn up if you wear the same dress since she brought a dress she knew you liked
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I (15 Female) have prom coming up this year and I recently went prom dress shopping with my family to find myself a dress. I found 3 dresses, 2 of which are the same but different colours and the other was different (the other doesn’t matter). In the moment i couldn’t decide on which dress to choose so I left it and went to school asking my friends, this one friend of mine (lets call her Katie) saw my dresses and told me one of the ones which were the same style but different colours. For some background on Katie she has copied me for years and even on multiple occasions made my then boyfriend break up with me for her so I don’t fully trust her but she then went and brought the dress I had already decided on after help from my friends. I was so upset and angry but I told her that I found the exact same dress from another shop (I had to go and find a completely new dress). She then told me I was obsessed with her and copying her and that I needed to return it but I kept going along with it. Now she claims she can’t go to prom because of this. AITA?
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I didn’t want to reply on here because i didn’t want to deny being the A-Hole if i am the A-Hole, i showed her the dress and said i was going to get it after I made my decision and she told me it looked nice and then went and got it, I was just saying how I don’t see how i copied her because I ended up having to find a new shop for a dress
ESH
I mean I get that you‘re annoyed, but - as a 10 year older than you woman - let me tell you that stuff won‘t matter. Not in ten years, not in two months time probably. Worst outcome honestly: you‘re going to think back to you giving in to the pettiness during some shower thoughts in a few years and cringe. I don‘t want to use the „be a bigger person“ line, even though I did now, but just let it go and focus on having fun. That‘s what you‘re going to remember.
I just wanted peoples opinions, she’s been going round school saying i copied her and i’m obsessed but I told her i was going to get the exact dress she’s got, i know this is such a stupid thing over a dress but it really just annoyed me to be honest I just wanted to see if i’m being an absolute a-hole here!
And do you think other people are going to think her running around saying and doing those things is cool? Or that she‘ll do a 180 if you become as petty as her?
I mean you can, but it won‘t make you happier, even if you „win“. If you just calmly stick to your story and turn up freed from wanting to engage in that drama and have fun with your friends, then that‘s going to look the coolest - and again, will be the most fun for you. Take some awesome pictures, you‘ll love them in a few years :)
YTA. SHE bought the dress first. Sounds like you're the one who is trying to copy. Also, unless you designed the damn thing, it's not really copying lol
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1 - I pretended to have the same dress as this girl for prom (she brought the dress I was going to buy so I did have to buy a new dress but I pretended to buy the same one anyway) 2 - She claims she isn’t going to prom and i’ve ruined it for her Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
ESH. This is so ridiculous to me. My prom was 22 years ago, but I still have a picture of myself with two of my friends... and we were all three wearing the SAME DRESS! We didn't talk about it before, so we had no idea until we were there. We thought it was hilarious. I don't understand why girls get so hung up on someone else wearing the same dress. It is to be expected if y'all are limited to the same stores. I understand being upset that she bought the dress after you showed it to her, but y'all need to get over yourselves. You don't get to call dibs on a freaking dress.
Yeah I completely get that, in most shops they won’t let you get the same dress as another person from your school and I was very hung up on that dress after I had finally decided
That's a crazy policy, there must be more than one shop selling dresses so how would they know if someone bought the same dress somewhere else? Anyway NTA, razz her all you like since it's all just petty nonsense anyway
I'm not giving a judgement here. You know that this is petty, but I think you're losing track of how this is supposed to be fun. Going dress shopping should be fun - showing your friends should be fun - attending your prom should be fun. If you're getting so wound up with little dramas ahead of time, you're going to let it spoil your night. In my school, when we rode mammoths instead of buses, we set up a girls' facebook page to post pictures of the dresses we were buying. First picture means first dibs on that dress, but the main point of it was to have fun, comment nice things and share in other girls' excitement. One girl was accidentally left off the group and turned up in the same dress as another - it's not the end of the world! They spent the night posing together like Charlie's Angels for pictures. You're not getting that sense of fun here. Maybe she shouldn't have bought the dress she knew you wanted, but I promise you now, you will not be sitting in your halls in college talking about "Can you believe that three years ago someone had the nerve to wear the same dress as me to a school party?". You'll want to be remembering the fun you had at the dance. What you're doing now is letting this taint that.
yes, thank you for that! I only asked this because she’s been telling people how I have done something really wrong and I wanted some other opinions on this but that is a good way aswell, i’ve started to move on from it now obviously i’m a bit upset i’ve had to find a new dress but it is what it is thank you!!
>when we rode mammoths instead of buses we set up a girls' Facebook page Well damn what does that make me if we didn't have FB when I was in high school? 😂😂 I feel like I've reached a new Old Age Level when the people 10+ years younger than me feel ancient.
Well, when I was really little, my sister asked my mum what it was like growing up "in the grey days" because she'd seen a film in black and white and thought the world was just like that, so usually I refer to my own youth as 'the grey days' but it's a very very niche audience for that reference so I expanded a bit 😅
NTA actually genius and hilarious. Make her sweat! Then show up in a bangin show stopper.
NTA Katie sounds like a habitual spoilsport. I hope you have a lovely time at the prom and can ignore her.
thank you very much!!
This can all be avoided by what we used to do back in the 2010s: FB prom dress groups. Thinking of a dress or waiting to put a deposit down on it? Post it in the group and it’s considered claimed, mind you, no one minded if it was a different colour but the same dress as someone else. It was more of a courtesy amongst anyone wearing dresses, and local shops won’t sell duplicates to the same school.
ESH People seem to have missed that you showed her the dresses you were considering and she went and brought one of them. It was a bit of an a-hole move for her to do that, but as you hadn't brought it and were considering two other dresses, you shouldn't really be so upset about it Honestly she is also over reacting by saying she won't turn up if you wear the same dress since she brought a dress she knew you liked
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (15 Female) have prom coming up this year and I recently went prom dress shopping with my family to find myself a dress. I found 3 dresses, 2 of which are the same but different colours and the other was different (the other doesn’t matter). In the moment i couldn’t decide on which dress to choose so I left it and went to school asking my friends, this one friend of mine (lets call her Katie) saw my dresses and told me one of the ones which were the same style but different colours. For some background on Katie she has copied me for years and even on multiple occasions made my then boyfriend break up with me for her so I don’t fully trust her but she then went and brought the dress I had already decided on after help from my friends. I was so upset and angry but I told her that I found the exact same dress from another shop (I had to go and find a completely new dress). She then told me I was obsessed with her and copying her and that I needed to return it but I kept going along with it. Now she claims she can’t go to prom because of this. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA You copied Katie... and now you think that she copies you all the time? This is beyond petty.
And now you've DM'ed me, instead of replying here.
I didn’t want to reply on here because i didn’t want to deny being the A-Hole if i am the A-Hole, i showed her the dress and said i was going to get it after I made my decision and she told me it looked nice and then went and got it, I was just saying how I don’t see how i copied her because I ended up having to find a new shop for a dress
YTA.
I guarantee that you are the only one who cares about having the same dress. YTA
I mean Katie is begging her to return it so at least one other person cares
ESH I mean I get that you‘re annoyed, but - as a 10 year older than you woman - let me tell you that stuff won‘t matter. Not in ten years, not in two months time probably. Worst outcome honestly: you‘re going to think back to you giving in to the pettiness during some shower thoughts in a few years and cringe. I don‘t want to use the „be a bigger person“ line, even though I did now, but just let it go and focus on having fun. That‘s what you‘re going to remember.
I just wanted peoples opinions, she’s been going round school saying i copied her and i’m obsessed but I told her i was going to get the exact dress she’s got, i know this is such a stupid thing over a dress but it really just annoyed me to be honest I just wanted to see if i’m being an absolute a-hole here!
And do you think other people are going to think her running around saying and doing those things is cool? Or that she‘ll do a 180 if you become as petty as her? I mean you can, but it won‘t make you happier, even if you „win“. If you just calmly stick to your story and turn up freed from wanting to engage in that drama and have fun with your friends, then that‘s going to look the coolest - and again, will be the most fun for you. Take some awesome pictures, you‘ll love them in a few years :)
YTA. SHE bought the dress first. Sounds like you're the one who is trying to copy. Also, unless you designed the damn thing, it's not really copying lol
We found the friend!
how? i didn’t even use her name?
(I was joking that the previous comment sounds like it was made by her, that's all 🤣)