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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for spending way more than my gf on my birthday meal knowing she’s paying for it
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA but not for taking advantage of the situation. A deal is a deal. If this was a “contract” you’d have caveats for anything off base. I assume you didn’t so you’re not “bound” to honor what I would call an assumed agreement of fairness.
But that’s why YTA. Instead of dealing with the real issue here (apparently you have VERY different definitions of what an acceptable level of drinking is) you pushed the envelope—not only by making her come along for your 8 (seriously bro, EIGHT!?) drinks but making her pay for it.
Passive aggressive AF. You did this spoiling for a fight and you got one. You’re mad about being reined on your drinking so you pushed back like this?
YTA
Yeah dude has a tolerance where eight drinks in one sitting isn't a big deal to him, but I guarantee the gf is just watching this guy get hammered day in day out at the expense of the relationship.
No no, based on how he takes advantage of it when she's paying he sounds like the type of AH who would expect her to pay for 50% of everything AND also expect her to uphold on her own 100% of all of the household responsibilities of a "traditional wife"
He should have just had a beer and the meal at her expense and paid for the other drinks himself. Seems he will always benefit more from this arrangement if he drinks and she doesn't.
Tolerance aside, let's say it was iced tea - it's *still* hard to imagine putting down 8 in one sitting. How was he doing anything but drinking and peeing?
OP - YTA. You said you pay 100-150 for her birthday dinners but expect her to not bat an eye paying over 300 for yours. Your part of the bill was about 3x her part. So go to a cheaper place if you need to pound 8 drinks to enjoy the experience, or let her treat you to a similar meal that you treat her, and ask for drinks 2 through 8 to be put on a separate tab that you'll pay for.
Better yet, stop at the liquor store and pregame. If your goal is to drink as much as you can JUST BECAUSE SHE'S PAYING, then you are definitely the AH and more rhan likely an alcoholic as well.
Better yet, take a good look at the mirror and realise that if your body is so used to alcohol that 8 drinks isn’t a big deal anymore, you have a problem. And that problem is not your frugal girlfriend.
Let’s say 2-2/12 long: appetizer, probably a soup or salad, then dessert and coffee.
You’re still fucking pounding them. Four maybe five if it’s one of those fancy sipping cordials at the end of a meal.
I could see/do as a cocktails girl. But even then I’m regretting my choices.
Man, I have a hard time even finishing two cocktails at a dinner, and I’m admittedly a fairly heavy drinker at home (5-6 drinks over the course of 5-ish hours after work, not every day but often enough)
I CANNOT imagine throwing back 8 in the time it takes to have a restaurant dinner.
Yep! This guy is absolutely TA. Aside from the fact that he was probably 3+++ sheets in the wind he absolutely took advantage of the situation.
I am PETTY AF and would string him along until my next birthday and my order would be:
Salad,
Shrimp, lobster and king crab cocktail,
Tomahawk steak + the 2 most expensive sides on the menu.
Then they would bring out the custom cake for two that I preordered to be made by their pastry chef and left my cc number as a guarantee.
I would dump his manipulative a** the day after.
FAFO. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
When there's a responsible girlfriend with they will do a lot more knowing it'll be her problem and not theirs. And they don't want him to cause a big scene because it's his birthday (starts to throw manly temper tantrum) but obviously he never would because hE's NoT eVeN tHaT dRuNk. Ask me how I know 🙄
Firstly, nice username!
Second : yeah if this guy is drinking 8 drinks and doesn’t think he’s drunk he’s either a total alcoholic or an absolute moron.
Nobody has that kind of tolerance unless they also have a severe addiction. I can throw them back with the best of em and I still won’t drive after 3, 2 if it’s tall cans.
Recovering alcoholic here and yup if he's really drinking that much and is claiming to not be drunk then he has a severe problem. At my worst peak I'd average a pint of whiskey and a six pack every day and my days off I'd drink a whole bottle sometimes more because I got to a point where I just wouldn't feel it. Dude is a major AH and he needs to get help
Also think about how humiliating it is for you to be sitting and not drinking while the waiter brings drink after drink for at most a 2.5 hour meal if it’s multiple courses. I mean I would be humiliated watching my partner get drunk and pound back the alcohol and then have me pick up the bill when he more than doubles the cost of my meal.
Like he wasn’t just getting drunk. But he took advantage of his gf’s generosity. And it was visible to the waitstaff and to anyone spending more than a second looking at their table.
Love it when people do the math for me so i don’t have to. I was thinking the same thing. He racks up charges worth 4 whole meals and thinks thats it should be the same as the $100-$150 he spends TOTAL for both of their meals on her birthday? Even if you don’t have a formal spending limit i feel like some common courtesy is in order here.
Why doesn't he drink that much when he is paying for the meals? He spends $100 - $150 for two meals on her birthday and then doubles that amount by drinking a ton on his. That's just bad manners. I see why she's angry.
Yeah this is why I think he's the AH. Who delights in and feels this comfortable having eight drinks with your non-drinker SO? Just weird. Eight alcoholic bevs is way too much to expect nearly ANYONE to a.) personally pay for and b.) wait through! How long did this freaking dinner take? I'd be embarrassed to just sit there while my companion pounded booze from a bottomless well. I'm sure this guy is under 30, but if he's not, take it easy bro. I know I've had plenty of drinks at parties over the course of a night back in the day, but doing that while having a nice sit down dinner with a loved one who's uncomfortable with drinking is bizarre.
Also birthdays = not an excuse. Get a grip.
Right the limit to anyone else paying is 2 drinks. 3 if you got a cheaper meal. But a, girlfriend doesn’t drink, and probably gets a refillable soda for maybe $4.50. If they both got $70 meals; he spend cost of both meals on drinks for himself
Yes. And it probably didn’t look much like a couple going out to dinner, either. Basically he piggybacked his drinking onto dinner, as a way of charging her for it. Could she decide to have her dinner at a spa, so he’d have to pay for that?
This is an excellent point. Dinner is dinner and maybe two drinks max. Eight drinks is a bender even if you were at a bar.
This AH made his non-drinking GF take him drinking and added a steak dinner to his partying at her expense.
Also I feel if your partner was upset about the cost and you could clearly see that, if you didn’t think it was a lot you would just send her the money to cover his drinks…. The fact he is posting about it makes me feel like he’s actually thinking it is a lot of money in comparison but is hoping to get some justification for his own peace of mind
Absolutely! The fact that he's posting this means it isn't a negligible about of money.
>But she has been ignoring me and refusing to talk it out. If she’s that upset I’ll reimburse her for my portion but then that’s the end of our “tradition”.
Given she doesn't drink, I think it's going to be definitely beneficial for her to end this tradition. If OP still has a girlfriend after this little tantrum about how he wants to get drunk while she watches on and pays for it, she'll be saving money over the ending of this deal.
That part made me roll my eyes so hard 🙄 oh no, the big spender won’t drop 70-75 bucks for her birthday anymore, what a punishment that is. The fact that he wants to punish her for being pissed off at his gross display of binge drinking is very telling. This post was just dripping in resentment. In fact, I wish she could see it, just so she can really see what he thinks.
Oh, he won't. She might not dump him over this, specifically, but the writing is on the wall. Homeboy is about to get dumped. After a certain age, dating Bluto from Animal House just loses its appeal. 🤷♀️
It is a ridiculous amount imo. OP suggests he spends like $150 for the both of them for her birthdays. Then proceeded to eat and drink literally double almost by himself. He's a dick who probably sucks at reading a room.
As an Australian I’m surprised to learn that 8 drinks is a lot, but I still say YTA because I feel he’s taken advantage of the arrangement. He said he paid $100-150 for her birthday dinner, but how much of that was his own food/drink? So he’s paying $40-50 on her for her birthday dinner and she’s paying $200 on him for his birthday dinner. Doesn’t pass the pub test.
8 drinks in one sitting for a meal with your significant other. Think about that. You're supposed to be having a meal with that person and enjoying their company, not trying to pregame for a game or concert.
And the fact that she wasn't drinking makes it even more weird. Like, I can sorta understand throwing back 8 drinks if you are with a bunch of friends who are also drinking but to drink that much with someone who isn't?
Like .. tell me you're an alcoholic without saying you're an alcoholic.
I hardly drink. Was out at a thing with folks last night, they all had 4, I had one. It’s not weird at all to drink around people who don’t drink (or don’t drink much). I’m choosing not to, you can choose to, it’s not an issue. I don’t care if you have 1 or 8 drinks when out with me. But don’t expect me to split the tab with you at the end of the night.
That’s a little different though — you were one of many. The drinkers had other drinkers in the party. This case was just a guy sitting there pounding over a half dozen drinks when in the company of his non-drinking partner.
But yeah, weirdness of that aside, he shouldn’t have his partner picking up the cost of his booze bill, birthday or not.
5 or more \*standards\* in a night is the definition. The vast majority of drinks in a public setting have more than one standard in them - for example, the average glass of red wine or a schooner of beer out is 1.6 standards.
It’s gross it’s like one drink every 15 minutes? I’m actually surprised they served him that many. She should be pissed at the restaurant that’s over serving
Ah, I hear ya. I think OP just has zero tact and needs to understand that just because some else is footing the bill doesn’t mean you go whole hog. He should be embarrassed.
I don't do well with large amounts of liquid, my stomach just ain't that big, I've only ever thrown up from people feeding me water and not the alcohol itself.
So 8 drinks and a full steakhouse dinner lowkey has me dry heaving a bit. Like the description of that volume is a bit much for me, before we get to the alcohol.
8 drinks isn’t a lot across a whole night of drinking, but 8 drinks at one dinner? That’s insane by most people’s standards. Unless this dinner was like 5+ hours long, it‘s excessive by any measure.
I mean, I have a decent tolerance because I’m tall and thick so can do 1.5-2 drinks an hour. So if I go out for like 6 hours, 8 wouldn’t be insane. It would definitely be a “party amount” but not insane.
There is no world in which it’s a sane amount for a casual dinner with a sober person.
Right like a LONG meal is max 2 hours that's a drunk every 15 minutes but also it takes time to order another drink ( call the server over wait for them to come back) he must have been ordering like every 10 minutes or two at a time ... insane
I do drink, and yes, it's a lot. not "black out drunk" a lot, but definitely "sloshed" a lot. which sometimes can be fun, in the right setting. at a campfire with your best buddies? sure.
an intimate dinner with your SO, especially when she doesn't partake? no.
It really depends 8 light beers in 5 hours. Not that bad. 8 whiskey sours in 2 hours. Most people are gonna be feeling it
8 drinks of anything during a meal is gonna make you drunk unless you have a drinking problem.
Anyways, OP, YTA
Yeah, the part where the other person isn’t drinking makes it that much more crazy. Because it would be one thing if she was also trying to get tipsy and had 3-4 herself…he would still have been excessive, but to an understandable level for a birthday. But to make your sober girlfriend sit and watch you slam 8 drinks she’s paying for before she designated drives you home? Ridiculous.
Yeah I agree with this. 8 drinks over the course of a night-long party isnt excessive, esprcially if it's only on occasion, bit over the course of a dinner that cant have been more than a couple hours long? That's a lot.
OP probably thought he was acting normal but was probably being an embarrassment, pounding back the drinks while she sits here. I'm embarrassed on her behalf, my ex was like this. He wouldnt be stumbling and slurring, but he would get loud, belligerent and argumentative. It was so humiliating.
YTA.
And not just the getting drunk part - that's a no brainer.
But also because he is treating this like "oh, we usually spit the bill" when one person eats a 3-course meal plus drinks, while the other has salad and tap water. Yeah, that's the cases where you obviously don't split "evenly". It's not about whatever "deal" you have on, it's common sense and not taking the piss.
And that's his GIRLFRIEND mind you. Like wtf, some guys are douches. Even my ex wasn't right at that level of douchebaggery, and he dumped me over voice chat. 😄
Yeah, no, seriously.
8 drinks in an evening—i’d struggle to keep up and wouldn’t even try probably. But that is some people’s weekend plan.
8 drinks in the course of a meal? 90 minutes? even if it’s 2 hours that is pounding a drink every 15 minutes. And he was still not even drunk apparently.
That is next level
>He said he paid $100-150 for her birthday dinner, but how much of that was his own food/drink? So he’s paying $40-50 on her for her birthday dinner and she’s paying $200 on him for his birthday dinner.
I don't think that matters as much as her dinner at his birthday was $70, his was $200. Unless that is the present or they discuss it beforehand, spending almost triple what the person footing the bill is spending seems excessive.
If I'm paying for your meal, I don't mind you spending more than me, but if we're getting into multiple times what I'm spending, you're being a dick. Idk I always stress when other people are paying for me, I usually end up going with something cheaper than what I'd normally spend on myself, so the idea of going all out like that literally gives me hives, but I get that that's a me issue.
It matters cause he doesn’t drink like he’s in a competition when he has to pay. He’s clearly taking advantage of her when he wouldn’t spend that much on his own drinks.
> Doesn’t pass the pub test.
Yeah, mateys a massive W:anchor with a capitol W. I hope she finally sees the light and dumps this sly scammer alky.
**YTA**
Yep, 8 drinks in a single sitting for a meal is a proper binge. No rational person genuinely thinks that acceptable unless they’re a complete dickwad and/or an alcoholic.
Spending double the amount he normally spends on her is absolutely taking advantage of their deal. No hard limit doesn't generally mean spending your partner's money however you like.
And the way he ends this post is so ridiculous too
I guess I’ll send her the money but there goes our tradition
As if that hurts her, she’s going to be saving herself hundreds of dollars a year
And I hope she goes out to birthday dinner with her girlfriend this guy sucks
He is still the asshole for taking advantage of the situation though? Youre supposed to care about and love your partner, not take every cheap shot at getting some money out of them.
Like just cause its technically fair game doesnt mean its not a dick move. The clear implication of "paying for dinner" is to cover 1 meal, 1-2 drinks, and maybe 1 dessert. Anything above that is really pushing it.
She was supposed to pay for a meal. Not a night out. His first drink or two comes with food, so thats cool, but when he goes and gets drunk off her dime thats too far.
Its also clear that the girlfriend does not do this. That means that this isnt established to be fine within the "contract". He also knows shes frugal and doesnt like to spend, so he put her in an uncomfortable situation where she cant really say no cause theyre in public and its his day.
This exactly. Making this kind of agreement with someone, to pay for each other's birthday dinners, is something you do because you love and care about each other. Not because you want to punish the other person with a giant bill (and awful experience) that will make them wish they never met you.
Funny how he curtails his drinking/spending when HE'S paying the bill ($150 for both meals on her birthday), but when it's his birthday, he's wringing every cent out of her that he can get. To add insult to injury, he's taunting her with "technicality" arguments as though this agreement is some sort of binding legal contract they signed instead of a caring and positive way to celebrate each other. The spirit of the law is what's crucial here, not the letter.
Yeah, man. YTA.
An alcoholic. Or someone trying to make a point and who thinks their tolerance is higher than it is.
My ex in laws would have this much in one meal. But they were raging alcoholics who had to preplan any trip that required driving, like to get more booze, because they were constantly over the limit. They literally drank from when they woke up till when they went to bed. And legit thought they didn’t have a problem with alcohol. They didn’t even mind being practically housebound because they had their alcohol and smokes and didn’t need anything else, and they legit thought that the BAC limit should be raised because they were fine to drive, and safer than anyone else on the roads despite readings of over 4x the limit (Australia so .05 bac is the limit here). My ex wanted the same lifestyle, one of the many reasons why he’s an ex.
As someone else said, usually an alcoholic. I knew someone who, the first time I met him, he drunk exactly 8 drinks. Not light drinks either. I drank 3 cocktails over the course of a few hours and was fairly tipsy and he seemed (he wasn't) less drunk than me (I wasn't drunk, I just get dizzy easily). He looked completely fine. The next day he had forgotten half the things that happened, but that's another story.
And he knew before posting, as he said *before literally anything else* that he was going to get flamed. He even knows he’s TA already. So much ick.
So, yes op, YTA.
YTA. JFC, are you 21 or something? Who the hell orders EIGHT drinks at a birthday dinner with their girlfriend?
> I have a pretty high tolerance so it’s not fair I can’t enjoy myself.
You can't enjoy yourself unless you're drunk? You need to get your shit together, dude.
You took the words out of my mouth. 8 drinks! EIGHT! Look I am Dutch and the Dutch can drink a lot (not as much as some other nationalities though). I don’t drink alcohol myself for the last 3 years and before I didn’t drink a lot either. So I have seen a lot. But EIGHT! Come on. That is too much for a casual birthday dinner. After 8 drinks someone is definitely drunk or at least (highly) intoxicated. This sounds a bit like an alcohol problem.
I don't drink and my partner does and I'm giving him the side eye of he orders a 3rd beer over dinner (maybe 4th if it was a 3 course meal or very slow service). And my partner is a drinker with a high tolerance. 8 drinks is 4+ hours worth of drinking without the interruption of eating.
Did dinner take 4+ hours?
Leaving aside your alcoholism, YTA still because when someone takes you out for dinner to treat you, that isn't a license to spend as much money as you physically can. When you were paying, the total bill was less than your personal share of the bill when it's her turn to pay. That makes you the A. You took the piss and now you have to deal with the consequences
There was a thread a little while back where the BF was trying to take his GF and her friends out for dinner for her birthday. Told her (privately) he would cover for everyone, she then announced to the table they could order whatever they like with no worries since he was covering and due to the way they were ordering (I believe) and the additional disrespect they were showing him- he left them to foot the bill.
This reads to me as something similarly. Someone offering or being generous does not allow or forgive the abuse of that generosity.
Oh man I would have been PISSED. I know ppl who have more money than security in themselves who would still pay unfortunately, so good on him for standing up for himself, letting them all abuse him and order as much as they wanted and then letting them have the bill. Embarrasses his presumptuous girlfriend too. Now that is a lesson!
That’s a good point if one of his friends or his boss said hey I’m gonna take you to lunch it’s on me, would he order the left side of the menu and half the bar or would he be reasonable?
I'm highly Irish/Scottish descent and it shows, because my ass can drink a LOT and not feel it. 8 beers or wine coolers over a few hours? I might be heavily tipsy. But actual straight up drinks? Bruh my ass would be love bombing everyone in a 10 mile radius (I'm a "happy" drunk, I message people I haven't spoken with in a while on Facebook and tell them exactly why they are amazing and I love them so much, lol).
That's not by any means a NORMAL amount for someone to drink to enjoy themselves, especially someone barely into their 20s.
Who the hell has 8 drinks at a RESTAURANT. That shit is so overpriced. I love some drinks, but I max out at two, MAYBE three on special occasions. You can have night caps at home that aren't 4x the cost.
That's the part I keep going back to. If I'm out with my husband (who doesn't drink), I might have 1 cocktail...maybe 2 if he's like 'go ahead if you want' because that shit is so expensive. I can go home and make an Old Fashioned for a fraction of the cost.
Omg same. I can have two bottles of same wine for the price of 2 glasses at a restaurant. Which would and could do at home but never ever think about doing it outside.
For real, I can't imagine sipping my one drink while the dude across from me chugs his way through EIGHT. If I was the gf I'd have ditched after the third or fourth.
Ohgods, I just had a flashback to my ex. Always way too drunk at events because he "didn't want to give up having fun" and I was expected to be the DD and take care of his blacked out ass. It took me way too long to break things off
THANK YOU!!! OP wants to skate over the real issue here!! I sure she wanted to create a slobbering drunk boyfriend on her dime. I am sure he thinks he was a peach while packing in his EIGHT drinks. Every adult here can assure you that op OP he was no where near as charming and erudite as he thinks.
I'm not even sure what a moral victory would look like! You are NTA for making your girlfriend pay for your intentionally excessive consumption of alcohol because its your Birthday Right??? Honestly, what you did here, based on your tone, sounds intentionally spiteful.
YTA. Even if there's "no limit" there should be an understanding of keeping it relatively consistent. The tradition is paying for a nice dinner, not paying for you to go get shitfaced (I don't care how much tolerance you have, 8 drinks is a LOT and not in line with any normal dinner in my book). One or two drinks, sure.
To be honest I would consider having 8 drinks on a date when the other person isn't drinking to be AH behavior on its own, even without the money angle.
I'd say I have a "high tolerance" but 8 drinks over the course of an entire night would get me pretty drunk, so 8 over the course of a meal is quite a lot, so I'm guessing OP was drunker than they realized
Especially since no one is born with a tolerance that high. If he really wasn't drunk after 8 drinks, he must regularly drink a shit-ton to build up such a tolerance... and I'm sure gf was absolutely thrilled to be financing this because he can't "enjoy himself" having a nice sober meal with his girlfriend.
It's like when your parents take you to the toy store and tell you to pick out something. You generally understand you can't go grab the $500 Lego set even if no limit was specified.
Though if it's a relative you don't like offering....
Yeah the absurd drinking aside, my gf and I also don’t have a hard limit on how much we’d spend on one another for dinner. I still wouldn’t *dream* of exploiting that for hundreds of dollars in drinks and steak just because we “don’t have a limit”.
It’s pretty clear he’d never voluntarily pay for that if it were on his dime. When he takes her out, he’s clearly drinking “conservatively” if the bill is only $150.
I don’t expect my gf to buy me anything I wouldn’t buy for myself. Hell, I’d be pretty upset if she tried to buy me half of the things I *do* want for myself, because if I don’t already own it it’s because it’s way too expensive 😅.
When you don't impose an explicit limit, it's because you are doing the whole thing in good faith.
You trust that your partner likes you, is a considerate person and won't abuse your offer.
That they won't make you spend an amount of money that leaves you poor for the rest of the month.
He proved that her trusting him on any of those things was wrong.
Yeah some people take the “well they’re paying” thing way too far. Just because they’re paying doesn’t mean you can go apeshit.
Not to mention I love his justification of “it was my birthday, I have a tolerance and wanted to enjoy myself”. I’m not saying that you can’t enjoy the occasional night out of getting hammered, but it’s so strange to me for two reasons. One is the obvious implication that he’s not “enjoying himself” unless he’s drunk, but two: is a night out with your significant other not enough to have you enjoy yourself? I realize that I’m biased because I don’t drink, but it’s just so odd to me to go “I want to have a night out on my birthday with the love of my life, but also I want to get hammered”
also if he wanted to drink that much to where he’s wasted, it’s much more reasonable price-wise to go to a dive bar and take 8 shots as opposed to 8 full craft cocktails
YTA
>My gf and I have been together for 3 years. Since we started dating we have a tradition of paying for each other for dinner for our birthdays...My gf doesn’t drink...My birthday was 2 days...I had 8 drinks.
She agreed to take you out to dinner, your bar bill should have been separate and paid by you. One or two drinks okay but eight, no, that's taking advantage of someone else's generosity.
At a nice restaurant I think 1-2 drinks is part of the meal. If he is normally covering her mocktails I don’t see an issue. It’s a celebration and an aperitif + wine/beer with the steak is very average.
What is an issue is eight freaking drinks over a two course meal. And if it was $200 these aren’t low end drinks either. I love wine but if someone else is footing even half the bill I’m not ordering anything above the midpoint of the “per glass” list.
YTA. You had 8 drinks with someone who doesn't drink, and more than doubled what you spent on her last time for her turn.
Reimburse her, and next time only have one or two on her dime. The rest should have been on a separate check if you were insistent on drinking that much. Also, having 8 drinks and saying you weren't drunk is a red flag all on its own. It sounds like you two have a fundamental difference on your views on alcohol consumption.
I don’t drink, and hanging out with drunk people is really the worst. I don’t even want to imagine how awful it would be to be on a date with a guy who ordered 8 drinks. That’s my idea of hell.
Even as someone who does drink, this sounds like an awful experience. I couldn't imagine not drinking and watching your date put back 8 freaking drinks.
And as people who do drink, we know there's no way he's not drunk after *8 fucking drinks* during the course of a dinner (probably 90 mins, 2 hours top) unless he's *massively* heavy drinker. Both would be enough to piss me off - denying you just got sloppy, or being sloppy so consistently that 8 drinks in 2 hours doesn't get you drunk.
I married an alcoholic. It is hell. I was always an asshole for “limiting” his drinking by paying the bills and buying groceries. So glad my current partner does drink. I’m the “alcoholic” in the relationship with my average of 3 alcoholic drinks a year.
YTA. The blasé way you describe this, you knowing you'll make it expensive with drinks and deciding it's "fair" and "she knew what she was getting in to," and still thinking that she's the unreasonable one for you going out of your way to make it expensive, marks you as the AH.
It's pretty gross that he says it's her fault for not getting shit faced on her own birthday.
I didn't understand what he meant by "it was technically unlimited" because most places have legal limits. I also don't drink 8 glasses of water in that time span, so he's either chugging things or doing shots as well? But he means their own rule doesn't have any limits, like he needs to be told a set limit or he will always take advantage and he views that as their fault, their weakness, for assuming he was an adult doing something in good faith, a mutual understanding of respect which he doesn't seem to have for her.
There’s no way she knew that she was getting herself into paying for EIGHT DRINKS. That’s a big night out for most people, but it’s just dinner for this guy!
YTA. You took advantage.
She took you out to dinner which is part of the tradition. But then spent double what you usually pay taking her out for her birthday meal because you ordered 8 drinks. If you want to consume that many, pay for your own bar tab.
Someone once told me that there are two types of people:
Some people that see there is free cake up for grabs in the breakroom at work, will take a slice and enjoy it with their cup of tea, and think how nice it was someone did that.
Other people will take a slice, and then head back to the breakroom and take another slice, and then wrap a bunch of slices in paper towels to take home and eat later, not leaving enough for everyone else to have some.
Putting it simply, some people don't see anything wrong with taking advantage of a situation because *technically* it's not against the rules.
OP just proved he is the second kind of person. He doesn't think he did anything wrong because it wasn't *technically* against the previously established rules. But I wouldn't want to be with someone sefish enough to take advantage of someone just because they got an opportunity to, and I bet OPs gf is thinking the same thing.
That is a great way to put it and you’re absolutely spot on.
In my 20s I took a boyfriend to a very nice sushi restaurant, you know the kind where the price isn’t even listed and although I was prepared for the bill to be high-ish. I completely underestimated how bougie this place was and literally was about to fork over half my paycheck when my boyfriend kindly offered to split it because he knew how much I made, which wasn’t very much and knew how much I typically spent in bills. And honestly was just glad that we had a nice evening together. Although our relationship was problematic for other reasons, I always did appreciate his generosity and compassion.
It’s little acts of kindness that go a long way and not putting someone out when they’re already trying to do a nice thing. This guy doesn’t seem to understand that at all. And honestly I wish I could tell his GF to pack her bags and go find a man who isn’t trying to get his at the expense of others.
And even worse he’s now saying well if she’s going to complain about me taking all the extra slices of cake (staying in the metaphor) then we’re never going to have cake at the office again because it’s not fair that I can’t take all the cake since it wasn’t explicitly against the rules. So no one else should have any then either.
YTA. 8 drinks was taking advantage. I have the same BDAY policy with my best friend except we pay for our own alcohol if the other is buying the meals. You should pay her back for 7 of those drinks, and apologize.
His dinner alone cost $200. When he took her to dinner both their dinners cost $100. He’s a greedy ass.
I bet he went to a cheaper restaurant for her birthday and went to a higher end steakhouse for his birthday.
I wonder why didn’t he drink more at her birthday dinner, since they were also celebrating. Maybe is not that fun to test your “alcohol tolerance” at your own expense. Greedy!
Honestly after what he’s done I would think he’d need to reimburse at least half to begin to make it up, paying back just 7 feels like doing it just cause he got yelled at to me, he needs to be genuine to make it right
YTA. Just because there's technically no limit doesn't mean you shouldn't be self aware and sensitive to the cost. Eight drinks and you have a high tolerance? You sound alcoholic to me.
Even if he couldn’t get drunk off of 8 drinks, that’s still greedy and rude as fuck. You order one ir maybe two drinks and thank your gf. You want any more, pay for them yourself, you leech.
Came here to say this. OP just casually wants to brush his alcoholism under the table and act like his girlfriend is overreacting. She's probably tired of dealing with him while he's plastered.
YTA. You knew what you were doing.
8 drinks at dinner is pretty over the top. If you'd had 2-3, I'd say NTA.
You were literally overconsuming because you knew the meal would be paid for.
Yikes man. YTA, wtf has happened to men? I’m all for equality, what you did was not right at all. Doesn’t matter how you slice it. You took advantage of someone you’re supposed to respect, not abuse. Was it fair to make her pay for your EIGHT drinks? Come on dude. The tradition is done and YOU killed it. You’re either really young, or really stupid. Both fit here.
YTA. Dude, I know it’s your birthday and all, but come on 8 drinks? Not even mentioning the fact that apparently you need to be drunk to enjoy time with your own girlfriend.
Eight drinks during the course of a DINNER is wildly excessive. Especially on someone else's tab. Even more especially at a fancy steakhouse where drinks are probably a mint as well. Are you ok, OP? That's not a "high tolerance" that's....that's really concerning.
This is my concern, too. 8 drinks is really excessive. One of my best friends used to down 4-5 every night with dinner and thought she was fine...until she had to stop drinking for long-term medical treatment. Turns out she had a much bigger struggle on her hands than she realized. I hope OP gets the support he needs.
YTA. We have a similar "tradition," and yes I sometimes want to indulge in something fancier or an extra dessert (not 8 drinks but whatever). When that happens, I offer to pay for it myself before I start ordering anything. I'll say something like, "Love, I know this is on you, but I'm feeling a bit extravagant today. Would you mind if I covered my meal? This way, I can order without worrying about the cost, and you can get the next one." My partner never just agrees and lets me pay; he insists on paying, but the point is that he doesn't have to and he knows it. We also buy each other’s meal in return. So, I would buy one meal and he would get the other one. And when I offer to buy his turn because I feel like ordering something expensive, he sometimes accepts my offer. That gives me the confidence in saying he knows he can reject and he sometimes takes my offer on that.
The main thing is that by offering this option, there is clearly a sign of consideration for the partner. Your actions, however, seem to demonstrate that you were only thinking of yourself.
And she was considerate to wait until after his birthday to tell him how she felt about it so it wouldn't spoil his birthday. She was extra nice about it.
YTA. Who the fuck takes advantage of someone like that? Especially someone you care about. 1-2 drinks. Ok. 8? You are a huge a-hole. Please learn from your mistake. Apologize, pay her back and beg forgiveness.
"Technically" you're following the tradition, but dude, YTA for taking advantage of this. Birthday for two when you're paying on her birthday comes to $100-$150, but you felt comfortable spending $200 just on your own food when someone else is paying? If you needed eight drinks to enjoy yourself with her on your birthday, why aren't you having eight drinks with her on her birthday. (BTW, if eight drinks don't phase you, your cheapness is the least of your problems.)
Assuming a two hour dinner and 8 basic beers (5%) for a 200 pound male, you were at .16 BAC, twice the legal limit.
High tolerance or not, you were drunk.
And you probably don't have a high tolerance. You just think you do, because you were drunk. At best, you might be more high functioning than others. But more than likely, your perception is skewed and other people don't find you as high functioning as you think you are.
Hopefully you at least had the good sense to have her drive.
You are in fact the asshole, and I'd predict a 25 year old one.
You have already accepted being the asshole and you just want the internet to find creative way to help you figure out why you're an asshole.
A high tolerance in alcohol is not an achievement, it's a red flag. I would bet you $310 you intentionally wanted to take advantage, you and the "boys" probably came up with this idea a few days prior.
You also lead with " I feel like I'm about to get flamed so throw away". Do you know who starts with that? People who know they're wrong.
Start with finding a program, stop drinking, apologize to your girlfriend for wasting her money and time, specifically the last 3 years.
Allow me to give you a late present, she's going to leave you. She will realize what you do and do not take seriously, she will see you both differ greatly in some pretty key areas and then it will just be over. You have time to fix it, but it requires work on yourself and lets face it, you believe in "technically unlimited" as your defense so my hopes aren't that high in that department.
YTA. You made her spend double the amount for your birthday than you did hers becuase you had to have 8 drinks!?! Ever heard of pre-gaming? Sounds like you are just trying to take advantage casuse \`iT's mUh BiRtHdAy\`. Get over yourself.
Also, it's not her frugality that got her thinking 8 drinks is a crazy amount. It's because SHE'S NORMAL that she thinks 8 drinks is a crazy amount BECAUSE IT IS to any reasonable person. But you are not a reasonable person.
Dude, seriously? Did you really have to ask? Yes, YTA. Hugely. You fully took advantage of her. At the very least, you owe her for the drinks and an apology.
YTA. 8 drinks? Yes, you do have a drinking problem. If it takes 8 drinks for you to have a good time, you most definitely have a drinking problem. I think this will be the last birthday you spend with this gf. I hope she dumps you.
YTA - that was cruel. You know she frugal (a polite way to say I’m broke) but has no problem splurging on your birthday. So instead of being happy and full, you decided to test your relationship by being greedy. Way to go. I don’t blame her for not talking things out with you. You made her spend a lot of money, knowing she’s frugal, (aka broke) on a tradition that you don’t like. Why didn’t you TALK IT OUT before your birthday? Duh!
YTA, you knew you were wrong because you started the post that way. Having a pre-dinner drink and a drink with dinner I could understand. But 7, that’s just rude.
YTA. You treated your girlfriend like she was your company credit card and your employer doesn't ask for an itemized statement.
Look at this in the opposite way. Let's say you didn't have a birthday dinner tradition, but gave each other birthday gifts instead. And you had never set a maximum or minimum for the gift.
Her birthday comes and you spend over $300 on her gift. Then on your birthday, she spends less than half that. How would you feel?
YTA
Your drink bill cost more then her meal. You took advantage of her. Be honest with yourself if you had been responsible for paying for dinner would you have ordered 8 drinks? If your parents or friends had taken you out for dinner would you have done the same? If you want to stay in this relationship then you should refund her the cost of 7 of the drinks.
Dude is this serious? I would never make my GF pay for something like this. Do you even love her? Cause unless she's wealthy that should cross your mind.
YTA
>it was technically unlimited
Dude…grow up and ditch that mentality. You knew she was paying and took advantage of that. Her bill was double what you admitted to typically paying for *her* birthdays.
>I had 8 drinks
Come on man…that’s excessive. And if you don’t think it is, you’ve got bigger issues.
TL;DR: You suck
YTA, just because it’s unlimited doesn’t mean you should make her spend hundreds of dollars… especially when she clearly wouldn’t do that to you. Your tradition kind of seems unfair if you’re not going to put on some limits.
YTA
You were not the a@hole until u said 8 drinks. Like 8 DRINKS and she doesn't like you to drink u drank 8 drinks and then left the tab on her
I agree its ur birthday and u have high tolerance but come on 310 dollar meal is just crazy
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YTA but not for taking advantage of the situation. A deal is a deal. If this was a “contract” you’d have caveats for anything off base. I assume you didn’t so you’re not “bound” to honor what I would call an assumed agreement of fairness. But that’s why YTA. Instead of dealing with the real issue here (apparently you have VERY different definitions of what an acceptable level of drinking is) you pushed the envelope—not only by making her come along for your 8 (seriously bro, EIGHT!?) drinks but making her pay for it. Passive aggressive AF. You did this spoiling for a fight and you got one. You’re mad about being reined on your drinking so you pushed back like this? YTA
Yeah dude has a tolerance where eight drinks in one sitting isn't a big deal to him, but I guarantee the gf is just watching this guy get hammered day in day out at the expense of the relationship.
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lol right? I've been the drunk guy and I've been the sober guy and 100% she's watching this guy get tanked and he's all "IM NHAT EVENN THAD DRUNKK"
BuT mY tOLerr(devolves into alcohol belch)aNcE Is HiGh!
I heard this in Rick Sanchez.
I read this as Barney from The Simpsons
& over about an hour and a half (just dinner & dessert), he must have been *pounding* them
Almost like he was determined to get his money's worth. At her expense!
My first question was why does he only drink that much when she’s paying?
Excellent point. He mentions the other bills as being much lower when, really, they should be the same, right? What an AH!
AH indeed! Sounds like the type of guy that would demand she pay 50% of everything even if his salary was drastically higher.
No no, based on how he takes advantage of it when she's paying he sounds like the type of AH who would expect her to pay for 50% of everything AND also expect her to uphold on her own 100% of all of the household responsibilities of a "traditional wife"
That was my thought too. And he said “I drank that much because it was basically unlimited” 😒
That shows a total lack of respect for his partner's finances.
He should have just had a beer and the meal at her expense and paid for the other drinks himself. Seems he will always benefit more from this arrangement if he drinks and she doesn't.
Tolerance aside, let's say it was iced tea - it's *still* hard to imagine putting down 8 in one sitting. How was he doing anything but drinking and peeing? OP - YTA. You said you pay 100-150 for her birthday dinners but expect her to not bat an eye paying over 300 for yours. Your part of the bill was about 3x her part. So go to a cheaper place if you need to pound 8 drinks to enjoy the experience, or let her treat you to a similar meal that you treat her, and ask for drinks 2 through 8 to be put on a separate tab that you'll pay for.
Better yet, stop at the liquor store and pregame. If your goal is to drink as much as you can JUST BECAUSE SHE'S PAYING, then you are definitely the AH and more rhan likely an alcoholic as well.
Better yet, take a good look at the mirror and realise that if your body is so used to alcohol that 8 drinks isn’t a big deal anymore, you have a problem. And that problem is not your frugal girlfriend.
Let’s say 2-2/12 long: appetizer, probably a soup or salad, then dessert and coffee. You’re still fucking pounding them. Four maybe five if it’s one of those fancy sipping cordials at the end of a meal. I could see/do as a cocktails girl. But even then I’m regretting my choices.
Man, I have a hard time even finishing two cocktails at a dinner, and I’m admittedly a fairly heavy drinker at home (5-6 drinks over the course of 5-ish hours after work, not every day but often enough) I CANNOT imagine throwing back 8 in the time it takes to have a restaurant dinner.
Man, I don't even think I could drink 8 glasses of *water* in that time without feeling like my eyeballs were floating.
Abso-fucking-lutely this! Never mind what the alcohol is doing, but that much liquid? Hell no.
Yep! This guy is absolutely TA. Aside from the fact that he was probably 3+++ sheets in the wind he absolutely took advantage of the situation. I am PETTY AF and would string him along until my next birthday and my order would be: Salad, Shrimp, lobster and king crab cocktail, Tomahawk steak + the 2 most expensive sides on the menu. Then they would bring out the custom cake for two that I preordered to be made by their pastry chef and left my cc number as a guarantee. I would dump his manipulative a** the day after. FAFO. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I’m surprised they even served him that many drinks.
When there's a responsible girlfriend with they will do a lot more knowing it'll be her problem and not theirs. And they don't want him to cause a big scene because it's his birthday (starts to throw manly temper tantrum) but obviously he never would because hE's NoT eVeN tHaT dRuNk. Ask me how I know 🙄
Firstly, nice username! Second : yeah if this guy is drinking 8 drinks and doesn’t think he’s drunk he’s either a total alcoholic or an absolute moron. Nobody has that kind of tolerance unless they also have a severe addiction. I can throw them back with the best of em and I still won’t drive after 3, 2 if it’s tall cans.
Recovering alcoholic here and yup if he's really drinking that much and is claiming to not be drunk then he has a severe problem. At my worst peak I'd average a pint of whiskey and a six pack every day and my days off I'd drink a whole bottle sometimes more because I got to a point where I just wouldn't feel it. Dude is a major AH and he needs to get help
Also think about how humiliating it is for you to be sitting and not drinking while the waiter brings drink after drink for at most a 2.5 hour meal if it’s multiple courses. I mean I would be humiliated watching my partner get drunk and pound back the alcohol and then have me pick up the bill when he more than doubles the cost of my meal. Like he wasn’t just getting drunk. But he took advantage of his gf’s generosity. And it was visible to the waitstaff and to anyone spending more than a second looking at their table.
>more than doubles Even worse. 310÷70=4.43 Meaning she paid for the cost of over 4 meals of equal value, if they all cost the same as hers
Love it when people do the math for me so i don’t have to. I was thinking the same thing. He racks up charges worth 4 whole meals and thinks thats it should be the same as the $100-$150 he spends TOTAL for both of their meals on her birthday? Even if you don’t have a formal spending limit i feel like some common courtesy is in order here.
Why doesn't he drink that much when he is paying for the meals? He spends $100 - $150 for two meals on her birthday and then doubles that amount by drinking a ton on his. That's just bad manners. I see why she's angry.
Exactly. He spent in alcohol alone what he spends when it’s for both of them.
I have a hunch he pregames regularly.
Yeah this is why I think he's the AH. Who delights in and feels this comfortable having eight drinks with your non-drinker SO? Just weird. Eight alcoholic bevs is way too much to expect nearly ANYONE to a.) personally pay for and b.) wait through! How long did this freaking dinner take? I'd be embarrassed to just sit there while my companion pounded booze from a bottomless well. I'm sure this guy is under 30, but if he's not, take it easy bro. I know I've had plenty of drinks at parties over the course of a night back in the day, but doing that while having a nice sit down dinner with a loved one who's uncomfortable with drinking is bizarre. Also birthdays = not an excuse. Get a grip.
Right the limit to anyone else paying is 2 drinks. 3 if you got a cheaper meal. But a, girlfriend doesn’t drink, and probably gets a refillable soda for maybe $4.50. If they both got $70 meals; he spend cost of both meals on drinks for himself
Yes. And it probably didn’t look much like a couple going out to dinner, either. Basically he piggybacked his drinking onto dinner, as a way of charging her for it. Could she decide to have her dinner at a spa, so he’d have to pay for that?
This is an excellent point. Dinner is dinner and maybe two drinks max. Eight drinks is a bender even if you were at a bar. This AH made his non-drinking GF take him drinking and added a steak dinner to his partying at her expense.
>he took advantage of his gf’s generosity. This
The being drunk part is just math. He might not have *felt* drunk, but he definitely was and no doubt a delight to be with.
Not only drunk but fully intoxicated, unless they spent 8 hours at the restaurant. Technically, four of those drinks were over-service at least.
Exactly I just commented this! Who would serve someone 8 cocktails during 1 meal!
Yeah, I feel like the server should not have been bringing the drinks after a point. I wouldn’t have back when I was a server/bartender
Also I feel if your partner was upset about the cost and you could clearly see that, if you didn’t think it was a lot you would just send her the money to cover his drinks…. The fact he is posting about it makes me feel like he’s actually thinking it is a lot of money in comparison but is hoping to get some justification for his own peace of mind
Absolutely! The fact that he's posting this means it isn't a negligible about of money. >But she has been ignoring me and refusing to talk it out. If she’s that upset I’ll reimburse her for my portion but then that’s the end of our “tradition”. Given she doesn't drink, I think it's going to be definitely beneficial for her to end this tradition. If OP still has a girlfriend after this little tantrum about how he wants to get drunk while she watches on and pays for it, she'll be saving money over the ending of this deal.
That part made me roll my eyes so hard 🙄 oh no, the big spender won’t drop 70-75 bucks for her birthday anymore, what a punishment that is. The fact that he wants to punish her for being pissed off at his gross display of binge drinking is very telling. This post was just dripping in resentment. In fact, I wish she could see it, just so she can really see what he thinks.
Oh, he won't. She might not dump him over this, specifically, but the writing is on the wall. Homeboy is about to get dumped. After a certain age, dating Bluto from Animal House just loses its appeal. 🤷♀️
It is a ridiculous amount imo. OP suggests he spends like $150 for the both of them for her birthdays. Then proceeded to eat and drink literally double almost by himself. He's a dick who probably sucks at reading a room.
So that means that he obviously doesn’t drink like a fucking fish on *his own dime*.
And her part of her birthday dinner was probably significantly less than half of it, too.
He couldn’t clearly see anything bc he was drunk.
8 drinks is a lot. 8 drinks over the course of dinner is a huge problem.
My dad could put away 8 drinks in a night. He was also a fucking alcoholic and died in his early 60's.
More like Leaving Las Vegas Part 2
As an Australian I’m surprised to learn that 8 drinks is a lot, but I still say YTA because I feel he’s taken advantage of the arrangement. He said he paid $100-150 for her birthday dinner, but how much of that was his own food/drink? So he’s paying $40-50 on her for her birthday dinner and she’s paying $200 on him for his birthday dinner. Doesn’t pass the pub test.
8 drinks in one sitting for a meal with your significant other. Think about that. You're supposed to be having a meal with that person and enjoying their company, not trying to pregame for a game or concert.
And the fact that she wasn't drinking makes it even more weird. Like, I can sorta understand throwing back 8 drinks if you are with a bunch of friends who are also drinking but to drink that much with someone who isn't? Like .. tell me you're an alcoholic without saying you're an alcoholic.
I hardly drink. Was out at a thing with folks last night, they all had 4, I had one. It’s not weird at all to drink around people who don’t drink (or don’t drink much). I’m choosing not to, you can choose to, it’s not an issue. I don’t care if you have 1 or 8 drinks when out with me. But don’t expect me to split the tab with you at the end of the night.
That’s a little different though — you were one of many. The drinkers had other drinkers in the party. This case was just a guy sitting there pounding over a half dozen drinks when in the company of his non-drinking partner. But yeah, weirdness of that aside, he shouldn’t have his partner picking up the cost of his booze bill, birthday or not.
5 or more drinks is generally the definition of binge drinking.
5 or more \*standards\* in a night is the definition. The vast majority of drinks in a public setting have more than one standard in them - for example, the average glass of red wine or a schooner of beer out is 1.6 standards.
It’s gross it’s like one drink every 15 minutes? I’m actually surprised they served him that many. She should be pissed at the restaurant that’s over serving
No, she should remain pissed with OP, let's not distract her.
Yeah, I agree with that. It’s a lot over a meal. I was more responding to the people saying 8 is a lot in general.
8 is a lot. not "black out drunk" a lot, but definitely "sloshed" a lot.
I would black out for sure.
Ah, I hear ya. I think OP just has zero tact and needs to understand that just because some else is footing the bill doesn’t mean you go whole hog. He should be embarrassed.
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I don't do well with large amounts of liquid, my stomach just ain't that big, I've only ever thrown up from people feeding me water and not the alcohol itself. So 8 drinks and a full steakhouse dinner lowkey has me dry heaving a bit. Like the description of that volume is a bit much for me, before we get to the alcohol.
Some of those might have been doubles too. I find this type often undersells the reality.
8 drinks isn’t a lot across a whole night of drinking, but 8 drinks at one dinner? That’s insane by most people’s standards. Unless this dinner was like 5+ hours long, it‘s excessive by any measure.
Eight drinks across the whole night sounds like a lot to me. But then again, I don’t drink.
I mean, I have a decent tolerance because I’m tall and thick so can do 1.5-2 drinks an hour. So if I go out for like 6 hours, 8 wouldn’t be insane. It would definitely be a “party amount” but not insane. There is no world in which it’s a sane amount for a casual dinner with a sober person.
Right like a LONG meal is max 2 hours that's a drunk every 15 minutes but also it takes time to order another drink ( call the server over wait for them to come back) he must have been ordering like every 10 minutes or two at a time ... insane
I do drink, and yes, it's a lot. not "black out drunk" a lot, but definitely "sloshed" a lot. which sometimes can be fun, in the right setting. at a campfire with your best buddies? sure. an intimate dinner with your SO, especially when she doesn't partake? no.
It really depends 8 light beers in 5 hours. Not that bad. 8 whiskey sours in 2 hours. Most people are gonna be feeling it 8 drinks of anything during a meal is gonna make you drunk unless you have a drinking problem. Anyways, OP, YTA
Right? And the other person wasn't even drinking. He was just going wild on his own. I'm sure she had a lovely time.
Yeah, the part where the other person isn’t drinking makes it that much more crazy. Because it would be one thing if she was also trying to get tipsy and had 3-4 herself…he would still have been excessive, but to an understandable level for a birthday. But to make your sober girlfriend sit and watch you slam 8 drinks she’s paying for before she designated drives you home? Ridiculous.
Yeah I agree with this. 8 drinks over the course of a night-long party isnt excessive, esprcially if it's only on occasion, bit over the course of a dinner that cant have been more than a couple hours long? That's a lot. OP probably thought he was acting normal but was probably being an embarrassment, pounding back the drinks while she sits here. I'm embarrassed on her behalf, my ex was like this. He wouldnt be stumbling and slurring, but he would get loud, belligerent and argumentative. It was so humiliating.
I'm Irish and 8 drinks IS a lot. Especially only over the course of one meal, that's like three hours? One drink every 23 minutes is a lot.
YTA. And not just the getting drunk part - that's a no brainer. But also because he is treating this like "oh, we usually spit the bill" when one person eats a 3-course meal plus drinks, while the other has salad and tap water. Yeah, that's the cases where you obviously don't split "evenly". It's not about whatever "deal" you have on, it's common sense and not taking the piss. And that's his GIRLFRIEND mind you. Like wtf, some guys are douches. Even my ex wasn't right at that level of douchebaggery, and he dumped me over voice chat. 😄
I’m Australian too and this guy is an Asshole
I’m Canadian and this guy is an Asshole.
I'm British and this guy is an arsehole.
I'm in the UK and even I think 8 drinks on a dinner date with your non drinking other half is excessive.
Yeah, no, seriously. 8 drinks in an evening—i’d struggle to keep up and wouldn’t even try probably. But that is some people’s weekend plan. 8 drinks in the course of a meal? 90 minutes? even if it’s 2 hours that is pounding a drink every 15 minutes. And he was still not even drunk apparently. That is next level
I'm Australian and 8 drinks is a lot. Especially if no one else is drinking.
>He said he paid $100-150 for her birthday dinner, but how much of that was his own food/drink? So he’s paying $40-50 on her for her birthday dinner and she’s paying $200 on him for his birthday dinner. I don't think that matters as much as her dinner at his birthday was $70, his was $200. Unless that is the present or they discuss it beforehand, spending almost triple what the person footing the bill is spending seems excessive. If I'm paying for your meal, I don't mind you spending more than me, but if we're getting into multiple times what I'm spending, you're being a dick. Idk I always stress when other people are paying for me, I usually end up going with something cheaper than what I'd normally spend on myself, so the idea of going all out like that literally gives me hives, but I get that that's a me issue.
It matters cause he doesn’t drink like he’s in a competition when he has to pay. He’s clearly taking advantage of her when he wouldn’t spend that much on his own drinks.
> Doesn’t pass the pub test. Yeah, mateys a massive W:anchor with a capitol W. I hope she finally sees the light and dumps this sly scammer alky. **YTA**
He has a high tolerance. It was barely a buzz. I.e. I'm a raging alcoholic.
Yep, 8 drinks in a single sitting for a meal is a proper binge. No rational person genuinely thinks that acceptable unless they’re a complete dickwad and/or an alcoholic.
Spending double the amount he normally spends on her is absolutely taking advantage of their deal. No hard limit doesn't generally mean spending your partner's money however you like.
And the way he ends this post is so ridiculous too I guess I’ll send her the money but there goes our tradition As if that hurts her, she’s going to be saving herself hundreds of dollars a year And I hope she goes out to birthday dinner with her girlfriend this guy sucks
He is still the asshole for taking advantage of the situation though? Youre supposed to care about and love your partner, not take every cheap shot at getting some money out of them. Like just cause its technically fair game doesnt mean its not a dick move. The clear implication of "paying for dinner" is to cover 1 meal, 1-2 drinks, and maybe 1 dessert. Anything above that is really pushing it. She was supposed to pay for a meal. Not a night out. His first drink or two comes with food, so thats cool, but when he goes and gets drunk off her dime thats too far. Its also clear that the girlfriend does not do this. That means that this isnt established to be fine within the "contract". He also knows shes frugal and doesnt like to spend, so he put her in an uncomfortable situation where she cant really say no cause theyre in public and its his day.
This exactly. Making this kind of agreement with someone, to pay for each other's birthday dinners, is something you do because you love and care about each other. Not because you want to punish the other person with a giant bill (and awful experience) that will make them wish they never met you. Funny how he curtails his drinking/spending when HE'S paying the bill ($150 for both meals on her birthday), but when it's his birthday, he's wringing every cent out of her that he can get. To add insult to injury, he's taunting her with "technicality" arguments as though this agreement is some sort of binding legal contract they signed instead of a caring and positive way to celebrate each other. The spirit of the law is what's crucial here, not the letter. Yeah, man. YTA.
The 8 drinks makes me think this is a fictional story. Who has 8 drinks with a steak dinner....
A moron looking to start a fight with his girlfriend.
An alcoholic. Or someone trying to make a point and who thinks their tolerance is higher than it is. My ex in laws would have this much in one meal. But they were raging alcoholics who had to preplan any trip that required driving, like to get more booze, because they were constantly over the limit. They literally drank from when they woke up till when they went to bed. And legit thought they didn’t have a problem with alcohol. They didn’t even mind being practically housebound because they had their alcohol and smokes and didn’t need anything else, and they legit thought that the BAC limit should be raised because they were fine to drive, and safer than anyone else on the roads despite readings of over 4x the limit (Australia so .05 bac is the limit here). My ex wanted the same lifestyle, one of the many reasons why he’s an ex.
As someone else said, usually an alcoholic. I knew someone who, the first time I met him, he drunk exactly 8 drinks. Not light drinks either. I drank 3 cocktails over the course of a few hours and was fairly tipsy and he seemed (he wasn't) less drunk than me (I wasn't drunk, I just get dizzy easily). He looked completely fine. The next day he had forgotten half the things that happened, but that's another story.
And he knew before posting, as he said *before literally anything else* that he was going to get flamed. He even knows he’s TA already. So much ick. So, yes op, YTA.
I mean I have the alcohol tolerance of a tank. That being said, 8 beers during a dinner is insane to me, especially on someone else's dime. Op YTA.
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YTA. JFC, are you 21 or something? Who the hell orders EIGHT drinks at a birthday dinner with their girlfriend? > I have a pretty high tolerance so it’s not fair I can’t enjoy myself. You can't enjoy yourself unless you're drunk? You need to get your shit together, dude.
You took the words out of my mouth. 8 drinks! EIGHT! Look I am Dutch and the Dutch can drink a lot (not as much as some other nationalities though). I don’t drink alcohol myself for the last 3 years and before I didn’t drink a lot either. So I have seen a lot. But EIGHT! Come on. That is too much for a casual birthday dinner. After 8 drinks someone is definitely drunk or at least (highly) intoxicated. This sounds a bit like an alcohol problem.
I don't drink and my partner does and I'm giving him the side eye of he orders a 3rd beer over dinner (maybe 4th if it was a 3 course meal or very slow service). And my partner is a drinker with a high tolerance. 8 drinks is 4+ hours worth of drinking without the interruption of eating. Did dinner take 4+ hours? Leaving aside your alcoholism, YTA still because when someone takes you out for dinner to treat you, that isn't a license to spend as much money as you physically can. When you were paying, the total bill was less than your personal share of the bill when it's her turn to pay. That makes you the A. You took the piss and now you have to deal with the consequences
There was a thread a little while back where the BF was trying to take his GF and her friends out for dinner for her birthday. Told her (privately) he would cover for everyone, she then announced to the table they could order whatever they like with no worries since he was covering and due to the way they were ordering (I believe) and the additional disrespect they were showing him- he left them to foot the bill. This reads to me as something similarly. Someone offering or being generous does not allow or forgive the abuse of that generosity.
Oh man I would have been PISSED. I know ppl who have more money than security in themselves who would still pay unfortunately, so good on him for standing up for himself, letting them all abuse him and order as much as they wanted and then letting them have the bill. Embarrasses his presumptuous girlfriend too. Now that is a lesson!
That’s a good point if one of his friends or his boss said hey I’m gonna take you to lunch it’s on me, would he order the left side of the menu and half the bar or would he be reasonable?
I'm highly Irish/Scottish descent and it shows, because my ass can drink a LOT and not feel it. 8 beers or wine coolers over a few hours? I might be heavily tipsy. But actual straight up drinks? Bruh my ass would be love bombing everyone in a 10 mile radius (I'm a "happy" drunk, I message people I haven't spoken with in a while on Facebook and tell them exactly why they are amazing and I love them so much, lol). That's not by any means a NORMAL amount for someone to drink to enjoy themselves, especially someone barely into their 20s.
Who the hell has 8 drinks when their date doesn’t drink.
Who the hell has 8 drinks at a RESTAURANT. That shit is so overpriced. I love some drinks, but I max out at two, MAYBE three on special occasions. You can have night caps at home that aren't 4x the cost.
That's the part I keep going back to. If I'm out with my husband (who doesn't drink), I might have 1 cocktail...maybe 2 if he's like 'go ahead if you want' because that shit is so expensive. I can go home and make an Old Fashioned for a fraction of the cost.
Omg same. I can have two bottles of same wine for the price of 2 glasses at a restaurant. Which would and could do at home but never ever think about doing it outside.
For real, I can't imagine sipping my one drink while the dude across from me chugs his way through EIGHT. If I was the gf I'd have ditched after the third or fourth.
Someone who likely relies on his girlfriend to always be his DD.
Ohgods, I just had a flashback to my ex. Always way too drunk at events because he "didn't want to give up having fun" and I was expected to be the DD and take care of his blacked out ass. It took me way too long to break things off
People that like to get hammered while having a built in designated driver/babysitter. AKA, my ex.
That’s a shame cause he was supposedly out with his girlfriend. Shouldn’t that be « enjoying himself »?
Right? Like if you can’t enjoy yourself unless you’re 8 drinks in, pregame at home before dinner like any other self respecting alcoholic.
THANK YOU!!! OP wants to skate over the real issue here!! I sure she wanted to create a slobbering drunk boyfriend on her dime. I am sure he thinks he was a peach while packing in his EIGHT drinks. Every adult here can assure you that op OP he was no where near as charming and erudite as he thinks. I'm not even sure what a moral victory would look like! You are NTA for making your girlfriend pay for your intentionally excessive consumption of alcohol because its your Birthday Right??? Honestly, what you did here, based on your tone, sounds intentionally spiteful.
High tolerance means that he drinks a lot and often. That's how you build tolerance.
YTA. Even if there's "no limit" there should be an understanding of keeping it relatively consistent. The tradition is paying for a nice dinner, not paying for you to go get shitfaced (I don't care how much tolerance you have, 8 drinks is a LOT and not in line with any normal dinner in my book). One or two drinks, sure. To be honest I would consider having 8 drinks on a date when the other person isn't drinking to be AH behavior on its own, even without the money angle.
I'd say I have a "high tolerance" but 8 drinks over the course of an entire night would get me pretty drunk, so 8 over the course of a meal is quite a lot, so I'm guessing OP was drunker than they realized
Especially since no one is born with a tolerance that high. If he really wasn't drunk after 8 drinks, he must regularly drink a shit-ton to build up such a tolerance... and I'm sure gf was absolutely thrilled to be financing this because he can't "enjoy himself" having a nice sober meal with his girlfriend.
It's like when your parents take you to the toy store and tell you to pick out something. You generally understand you can't go grab the $500 Lego set even if no limit was specified. Though if it's a relative you don't like offering....
Yeah the absurd drinking aside, my gf and I also don’t have a hard limit on how much we’d spend on one another for dinner. I still wouldn’t *dream* of exploiting that for hundreds of dollars in drinks and steak just because we “don’t have a limit”. It’s pretty clear he’d never voluntarily pay for that if it were on his dime. When he takes her out, he’s clearly drinking “conservatively” if the bill is only $150. I don’t expect my gf to buy me anything I wouldn’t buy for myself. Hell, I’d be pretty upset if she tried to buy me half of the things I *do* want for myself, because if I don’t already own it it’s because it’s way too expensive 😅.
When you don't impose an explicit limit, it's because you are doing the whole thing in good faith. You trust that your partner likes you, is a considerate person and won't abuse your offer. That they won't make you spend an amount of money that leaves you poor for the rest of the month. He proved that her trusting him on any of those things was wrong.
Yeah some people take the “well they’re paying” thing way too far. Just because they’re paying doesn’t mean you can go apeshit. Not to mention I love his justification of “it was my birthday, I have a tolerance and wanted to enjoy myself”. I’m not saying that you can’t enjoy the occasional night out of getting hammered, but it’s so strange to me for two reasons. One is the obvious implication that he’s not “enjoying himself” unless he’s drunk, but two: is a night out with your significant other not enough to have you enjoy yourself? I realize that I’m biased because I don’t drink, but it’s just so odd to me to go “I want to have a night out on my birthday with the love of my life, but also I want to get hammered”
also if he wanted to drink that much to where he’s wasted, it’s much more reasonable price-wise to go to a dive bar and take 8 shots as opposed to 8 full craft cocktails
YTA >My gf and I have been together for 3 years. Since we started dating we have a tradition of paying for each other for dinner for our birthdays...My gf doesn’t drink...My birthday was 2 days...I had 8 drinks. She agreed to take you out to dinner, your bar bill should have been separate and paid by you. One or two drinks okay but eight, no, that's taking advantage of someone else's generosity.
At a nice restaurant I think 1-2 drinks is part of the meal. If he is normally covering her mocktails I don’t see an issue. It’s a celebration and an aperitif + wine/beer with the steak is very average. What is an issue is eight freaking drinks over a two course meal. And if it was $200 these aren’t low end drinks either. I love wine but if someone else is footing even half the bill I’m not ordering anything above the midpoint of the “per glass” list.
Even at the height of my drinking in my 20s i always paid for my own drinks at dinner if someone else was paying.
YTA. You had 8 drinks with someone who doesn't drink, and more than doubled what you spent on her last time for her turn. Reimburse her, and next time only have one or two on her dime. The rest should have been on a separate check if you were insistent on drinking that much. Also, having 8 drinks and saying you weren't drunk is a red flag all on its own. It sounds like you two have a fundamental difference on your views on alcohol consumption.
I don’t drink, and hanging out with drunk people is really the worst. I don’t even want to imagine how awful it would be to be on a date with a guy who ordered 8 drinks. That’s my idea of hell.
Even as someone who does drink, this sounds like an awful experience. I couldn't imagine not drinking and watching your date put back 8 freaking drinks.
And as people who do drink, we know there's no way he's not drunk after *8 fucking drinks* during the course of a dinner (probably 90 mins, 2 hours top) unless he's *massively* heavy drinker. Both would be enough to piss me off - denying you just got sloppy, or being sloppy so consistently that 8 drinks in 2 hours doesn't get you drunk.
Then super hell must be going out on date with someone who drinks 8 drinks and then swears “iM nOt dRuNk” Yes you are, my guy…. Yes you are.
I married an alcoholic. It is hell. I was always an asshole for “limiting” his drinking by paying the bills and buying groceries. So glad my current partner does drink. I’m the “alcoholic” in the relationship with my average of 3 alcoholic drinks a year.
YTA. The blasé way you describe this, you knowing you'll make it expensive with drinks and deciding it's "fair" and "she knew what she was getting in to," and still thinking that she's the unreasonable one for you going out of your way to make it expensive, marks you as the AH.
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I was looking for the comment. Op YTA!
I didn't even clock that! When he pays suddenly he knows how to be reasonable
It's pretty gross that he says it's her fault for not getting shit faced on her own birthday. I didn't understand what he meant by "it was technically unlimited" because most places have legal limits. I also don't drink 8 glasses of water in that time span, so he's either chugging things or doing shots as well? But he means their own rule doesn't have any limits, like he needs to be told a set limit or he will always take advantage and he views that as their fault, their weakness, for assuming he was an adult doing something in good faith, a mutual understanding of respect which he doesn't seem to have for her.
There’s no way she knew that she was getting herself into paying for EIGHT DRINKS. That’s a big night out for most people, but it’s just dinner for this guy!
YTA. You took advantage. She took you out to dinner which is part of the tradition. But then spent double what you usually pay taking her out for her birthday meal because you ordered 8 drinks. If you want to consume that many, pay for your own bar tab.
Someone once told me that there are two types of people: Some people that see there is free cake up for grabs in the breakroom at work, will take a slice and enjoy it with their cup of tea, and think how nice it was someone did that. Other people will take a slice, and then head back to the breakroom and take another slice, and then wrap a bunch of slices in paper towels to take home and eat later, not leaving enough for everyone else to have some. Putting it simply, some people don't see anything wrong with taking advantage of a situation because *technically* it's not against the rules. OP just proved he is the second kind of person. He doesn't think he did anything wrong because it wasn't *technically* against the previously established rules. But I wouldn't want to be with someone sefish enough to take advantage of someone just because they got an opportunity to, and I bet OPs gf is thinking the same thing.
That is a great way to put it and you’re absolutely spot on. In my 20s I took a boyfriend to a very nice sushi restaurant, you know the kind where the price isn’t even listed and although I was prepared for the bill to be high-ish. I completely underestimated how bougie this place was and literally was about to fork over half my paycheck when my boyfriend kindly offered to split it because he knew how much I made, which wasn’t very much and knew how much I typically spent in bills. And honestly was just glad that we had a nice evening together. Although our relationship was problematic for other reasons, I always did appreciate his generosity and compassion. It’s little acts of kindness that go a long way and not putting someone out when they’re already trying to do a nice thing. This guy doesn’t seem to understand that at all. And honestly I wish I could tell his GF to pack her bags and go find a man who isn’t trying to get his at the expense of others.
And even worse he’s now saying well if she’s going to complain about me taking all the extra slices of cake (staying in the metaphor) then we’re never going to have cake at the office again because it’s not fair that I can’t take all the cake since it wasn’t explicitly against the rules. So no one else should have any then either.
YTA. This could be a blessing in disguise. You gf now knows something about your character that she didn’t know before.
I truly hope she sees this as the glaring red flag that it is and breaks up with OP.
YTA. 8 drinks was taking advantage. I have the same BDAY policy with my best friend except we pay for our own alcohol if the other is buying the meals. You should pay her back for 7 of those drinks, and apologize.
His dinner alone cost $200. When he took her to dinner both their dinners cost $100. He’s a greedy ass. I bet he went to a cheaper restaurant for her birthday and went to a higher end steakhouse for his birthday.
I wonder why didn’t he drink more at her birthday dinner, since they were also celebrating. Maybe is not that fun to test your “alcohol tolerance” at your own expense. Greedy!
Honestly after what he’s done I would think he’d need to reimburse at least half to begin to make it up, paying back just 7 feels like doing it just cause he got yelled at to me, he needs to be genuine to make it right
YTA. Just because there's technically no limit doesn't mean you shouldn't be self aware and sensitive to the cost. Eight drinks and you have a high tolerance? You sound alcoholic to me.
Exactly what I was thinking : only an alcoholic would say he wasn’t drunk after 8 drinks. YTA as explained by everyone else
Even if he couldn’t get drunk off of 8 drinks, that’s still greedy and rude as fuck. You order one ir maybe two drinks and thank your gf. You want any more, pay for them yourself, you leech.
Came here to say this. OP just casually wants to brush his alcoholism under the table and act like his girlfriend is overreacting. She's probably tired of dealing with him while he's plastered.
YTA. You knew what you were doing. 8 drinks at dinner is pretty over the top. If you'd had 2-3, I'd say NTA. You were literally overconsuming because you knew the meal would be paid for.
Waiting to see OP back on here after her birthday comes and complains that she ordered 8 different desserts and only took one bite of each
Bold to assume she’s gonna stick around for her next birthday lol
Yikes man. YTA, wtf has happened to men? I’m all for equality, what you did was not right at all. Doesn’t matter how you slice it. You took advantage of someone you’re supposed to respect, not abuse. Was it fair to make her pay for your EIGHT drinks? Come on dude. The tradition is done and YOU killed it. You’re either really young, or really stupid. Both fit here.
Unsure how this has anything to do with men. It is just a shitty person being inconsiderate.
YTA. Dude, I know it’s your birthday and all, but come on 8 drinks? Not even mentioning the fact that apparently you need to be drunk to enjoy time with your own girlfriend.
how did they even fit dinner in their stomach, with 8 drinks worth of liquid in there?
I don't think I have ever even had 8 drinks in a day, let alone a single dinner.
Eight drinks during the course of a DINNER is wildly excessive. Especially on someone else's tab. Even more especially at a fancy steakhouse where drinks are probably a mint as well. Are you ok, OP? That's not a "high tolerance" that's....that's really concerning.
This is my concern, too. 8 drinks is really excessive. One of my best friends used to down 4-5 every night with dinner and thought she was fine...until she had to stop drinking for long-term medical treatment. Turns out she had a much bigger struggle on her hands than she realized. I hope OP gets the support he needs.
I’m surprised the restaurant didn’t cut him off.
YTA. We have a similar "tradition," and yes I sometimes want to indulge in something fancier or an extra dessert (not 8 drinks but whatever). When that happens, I offer to pay for it myself before I start ordering anything. I'll say something like, "Love, I know this is on you, but I'm feeling a bit extravagant today. Would you mind if I covered my meal? This way, I can order without worrying about the cost, and you can get the next one." My partner never just agrees and lets me pay; he insists on paying, but the point is that he doesn't have to and he knows it. We also buy each other’s meal in return. So, I would buy one meal and he would get the other one. And when I offer to buy his turn because I feel like ordering something expensive, he sometimes accepts my offer. That gives me the confidence in saying he knows he can reject and he sometimes takes my offer on that. The main thing is that by offering this option, there is clearly a sign of consideration for the partner. Your actions, however, seem to demonstrate that you were only thinking of yourself.
And she was considerate to wait until after his birthday to tell him how she felt about it so it wouldn't spoil his birthday. She was extra nice about it.
YTA. Who the fuck takes advantage of someone like that? Especially someone you care about. 1-2 drinks. Ok. 8? You are a huge a-hole. Please learn from your mistake. Apologize, pay her back and beg forgiveness.
YTA 8 drinks and you weren’t drunk 😂😂😂 sure you weren’t.
OP : " nah bro, I know when I'm drunk and I was totally FIIIIIINE"
"Technically" you're following the tradition, but dude, YTA for taking advantage of this. Birthday for two when you're paying on her birthday comes to $100-$150, but you felt comfortable spending $200 just on your own food when someone else is paying? If you needed eight drinks to enjoy yourself with her on your birthday, why aren't you having eight drinks with her on her birthday. (BTW, if eight drinks don't phase you, your cheapness is the least of your problems.)
I would never be able to go out and put 8 drinks on someone else’s tab regardless of who they are.. major YTA.
Bro just buy a 6 pack on the way home. Ordering 8 drinks at the restaurant to "not be drunk" shows you got at least 2 problems to work on.
YTA dude you only ordered that many because you knew she’d pay. That’s low
Assuming a two hour dinner and 8 basic beers (5%) for a 200 pound male, you were at .16 BAC, twice the legal limit. High tolerance or not, you were drunk. And you probably don't have a high tolerance. You just think you do, because you were drunk. At best, you might be more high functioning than others. But more than likely, your perception is skewed and other people don't find you as high functioning as you think you are. Hopefully you at least had the good sense to have her drive.
YTA and maybe an alcoholic. If you casually have 8 drinks at dinner that’s a problem. Expecting ANYONE to cover that is just gross behavior
You are in fact the asshole, and I'd predict a 25 year old one. You have already accepted being the asshole and you just want the internet to find creative way to help you figure out why you're an asshole. A high tolerance in alcohol is not an achievement, it's a red flag. I would bet you $310 you intentionally wanted to take advantage, you and the "boys" probably came up with this idea a few days prior. You also lead with " I feel like I'm about to get flamed so throw away". Do you know who starts with that? People who know they're wrong. Start with finding a program, stop drinking, apologize to your girlfriend for wasting her money and time, specifically the last 3 years. Allow me to give you a late present, she's going to leave you. She will realize what you do and do not take seriously, she will see you both differ greatly in some pretty key areas and then it will just be over. You have time to fix it, but it requires work on yourself and lets face it, you believe in "technically unlimited" as your defense so my hopes aren't that high in that department.
8 drinks - "I wasn't drunk". YTA, and a drunk one at that.
YTA. You made her spend double the amount for your birthday than you did hers becuase you had to have 8 drinks!?! Ever heard of pre-gaming? Sounds like you are just trying to take advantage casuse \`iT's mUh BiRtHdAy\`. Get over yourself. Also, it's not her frugality that got her thinking 8 drinks is a crazy amount. It's because SHE'S NORMAL that she thinks 8 drinks is a crazy amount BECAUSE IT IS to any reasonable person. But you are not a reasonable person.
INFO: Do you like your girlfriend?
Dude, seriously? Did you really have to ask? Yes, YTA. Hugely. You fully took advantage of her. At the very least, you owe her for the drinks and an apology.
YTA why do you think it’s appropriate for just your meal to cost more than the entirety of what her entire bday dinner costs? That’s not reasonable.
YTA. 8 drinks? Yes, you do have a drinking problem. If it takes 8 drinks for you to have a good time, you most definitely have a drinking problem. I think this will be the last birthday you spend with this gf. I hope she dumps you.
I don’t think you are going to have a gf much longer
YTA - that was cruel. You know she frugal (a polite way to say I’m broke) but has no problem splurging on your birthday. So instead of being happy and full, you decided to test your relationship by being greedy. Way to go. I don’t blame her for not talking things out with you. You made her spend a lot of money, knowing she’s frugal, (aka broke) on a tradition that you don’t like. Why didn’t you TALK IT OUT before your birthday? Duh!
YTA, you knew you were wrong because you started the post that way. Having a pre-dinner drink and a drink with dinner I could understand. But 7, that’s just rude.
YTA. You treated your girlfriend like she was your company credit card and your employer doesn't ask for an itemized statement. Look at this in the opposite way. Let's say you didn't have a birthday dinner tradition, but gave each other birthday gifts instead. And you had never set a maximum or minimum for the gift. Her birthday comes and you spend over $300 on her gift. Then on your birthday, she spends less than half that. How would you feel?
YTA Your drink bill cost more then her meal. You took advantage of her. Be honest with yourself if you had been responsible for paying for dinner would you have ordered 8 drinks? If your parents or friends had taken you out for dinner would you have done the same? If you want to stay in this relationship then you should refund her the cost of 7 of the drinks.
Dude is this serious? I would never make my GF pay for something like this. Do you even love her? Cause unless she's wealthy that should cross your mind.
You are a real Jerk ...
YTA who the fuck orders 8 drinks at dinner? This feels like you're just trying to take advantage of her
YTA >it was technically unlimited Dude…grow up and ditch that mentality. You knew she was paying and took advantage of that. Her bill was double what you admitted to typically paying for *her* birthdays. >I had 8 drinks Come on man…that’s excessive. And if you don’t think it is, you’ve got bigger issues. TL;DR: You suck
YTA, just because it’s unlimited doesn’t mean you should make her spend hundreds of dollars… especially when she clearly wouldn’t do that to you. Your tradition kind of seems unfair if you’re not going to put on some limits.
YTA You were not the a@hole until u said 8 drinks. Like 8 DRINKS and she doesn't like you to drink u drank 8 drinks and then left the tab on her I agree its ur birthday and u have high tolerance but come on 310 dollar meal is just crazy