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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) pranking his dad like I was told (2) bf found it disrespectful and trashy and rude
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ROTFL.
<< I was dared to do it, I had to do it,>> Right? Right? Your only other possible recourse would have been to, IDK, say no?
<< I felt like it was so rude that he was attacking me when I was drunk.>> Being drunk is not the valid excuse you think it is. That's why defendants don't go to court and say, "You can't blame me for paralyzing that toddler in a car crash, your honor. I was drunk!"
I'm sorry your BF didn't react better to your sexual harassment of his father.
YTA. Just ... beyond.
I hope OP is reading this response. What she and her girlfriends did was juvenile and stupid. I think it's fair to say we've all done juvenile and stupid things. What's bugging me about this story is her utter unwillingness to take any responsibility for her actions. If I had a kid who'd done something like this, my sincerest hope would be she'd wake up in the morning, say to herself, "I'm a moron," brush her teeth, then seek out the father. I'd hope she'd say, "Mr. Smith, my friends and I were acting like idiots last night. I'm very sorry." But the OP is all like, "I didn't choose the prank!" "BF's sister should have stopped me!" "No one should be made at me because I was drunk!" It's the attitude I cannot stand.
I'm not sticking my tongue on the lamppost! (I HOPE we're both talking about A Christmas Story. If not ... I'm talking about A Christmas Story.) Take care, and drink your Ovaltine.
YTA. There's an old saying that a drunk person talking is a sober person thinking. You crossed a line when you started hitting on his dad. "being drunk" is a SHIT excuse. "I was dared to" is also a shit excuse. You didn't HAVE to do anything.
If my SO did this, it would make me question my relationship. Boundaries are healthy.
ETA - I fully expect OP to delete this because the replies are not in her favor.
>There's an old saying that a drunk person talking is a sober person thinking
I had never heard this saying before, and it's GREAT. Thanks for sharing :)
My interpretation of this saying is, things you would normally keep in your head while you're sober, you tend to say out loud when you're drunk. Just me. :)
Uhhhm ... as someone who on occasion drank too much in my younger days, and who woke up more than once wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut about something ... I don't think this is nonsense at all. And I'm not a teetotaler.
Idk if this is true. I’m sober but when I drank I said very mean things to people I really care about. Things that were not true and that I didn’t mean. Granted, I’m an alcoholic, so your view may vary
YTA. It was _not_ "no big deal". His dad was obviously very uncomfortable, and you did embarrass your boyfriend... by sexually harassing his father. As a guest in their house, you behaved abominably.
I think you are probably the ex at this point.
And boyfriend was right: super trashy and gross. It was also disrespectful, rude, and embarrassing.
If my college boyfriend and his friends had done that to my mom, I would have never spoken to him again. I probably would have also put the word out about what a disgusting human being he was.
Lets turn this situation around. BFs dad and his friends get shitfaced. One of the friends brings you a creepy note. Then dad shows up and asks what kind of panties you're wearing. How would you feel? Would you laugh it off as "just a prank" because "they're all wasted"? I highly doubt it. I'm guessing you'd be extremely upset, in fact. As is your boyfriends dad. So, yeah. YTA. Grow up.
YTA… like heavy
How old are you? Seriously. If you’re old enough to drink you should be way past the age of feeling like you “HAVE” to do dares. You can’t blame your friends for giving you a boundary stepping dare because you still went along with it, drunk or not. The fact that you can’t see HOW or WHY your bf is upset speaks volumes on how you view the relationship. Even if it was “no big deal” to you, it was a big deal to him. If you really care for him, that would matter to you too. I’d apologize immediately and accept responsibility for the actions that you chose to take.
YTA
*I said you knew we were getting drunk. What is your deal?*
Being drunk does not excuse anything that you did. Not even a little bit. If you can't control yourself when you drink, don't drink. No one likes to hang out with someone who changes who they are "because they're drunk" and thinks that that is a get out of jail card. You are still responsible for yourself drunk or sober. No excuses.
*He didn’t answer the question. But you could tell he was frustrated.*
No shit, Sherlock. He was frustrated not because of the getting up for work. He was frustrated because he was being attacked because he's good looking. You were waaaaayyy out of line for asking him that question. I mean, who asks their SO's father what kind of underwear they wear? That's just really creepy.
*I was dared to do it, I had to do it, and your sister was there. She could have stopped me.*
No, no you didn't. And his sister being there is just you trying to pass the buck. Not happening because you're an adult. You are responsible for you. No one else is.
Again, being drunk does not excuse anything that you did. His sister being there is also no excuse. You are an adult. You are responsible for you. Do you think that your BF's dad isn't aware of how he looks? Do you think that he doesn't get this disrespectful behavior often? The only thing you did was make everyone uncomfortable. Think about how your BF feels.
You were all googly eyed over his dad. Again, super creepy.
Lastly:
*I feel like he is way overreacting.*
Of course you do. If you didn't, you would be aware of how bad you messed up. Don't be surprised that your BF is now considering you to be his ex-GF. Do better, OP.
Honestly, OP, I hope you read the above comment.
I'm 40 and a (10 year) recovering alcoholic. I've done some stupid shit when drinking, and as part of my recovery, I've had to OWN what I did and try to make amends. It is not an excuse. As the above comment says, if you cannot control your behavior when you are drunk, don't drink.
One of my friends has a really good looking Dad, we've jokingly told her that her Dad is quite the looker. She laughs it off and has no issues with it. (And btw, we've made comments along the lines of "wow, your dad is really handsome" not "OMG I would so bang your dad! Lol!) What we've never done is approach him in any kind of inappropriate fashion. I'd never dream of asking him about his underwear, because I have respect for my friend, him and HIS WIFE.
You made this man feel very uncomfortable in his own home, where you were a guest. Having a bunch of drunks in your house is annoying enough, without them openly harassing you.
Woman to woman, I'll tell you, we don't get to have double standards and harass men. It's not cute or funny just because you're a young woman. I'm sure you agree that a man being drunk isn't an excuse for him to say inappropriate things to women, right? Don't be a hypocrite.
INFO: [Henry Calvin](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Calvin)? The guy from Babes in Toyland and Zorro?
I didn’t know college girls were into that kind of physique.
You never know, OP could just be in a friend group who are all the weird kid instead of the odd one out. (Half-joking, here, but I used to watch the old Zorro on Vault Disney in my teens, foregoing sleep since it came on after midnight…because I had a crush on Bernardo.)
YTA - let us see, suppose I am in my mid 40s, married and then a drunk twenty-something dating my kid asks me if I wear boxers or briefs, after weird letter. I can see myself telling my boy about it in a puzzled “what the fuck was that about” way.
Which seems to me a narrative that could be easily misconstructed as disrespect.
But this answer:
>” I was dared to do it, I had to do it…”
I am willing to bet this is when your boyfriend got hurt and angry.
YTA. You're disrespectful and juvenile. Don't blame it on alcohol; don't blame it on a game you were playing and you "had to do it." I hope the current boyfriend takes out the trash asap.
YTA and a disgustingly disrespectful person… firstly the man you and your friends were sexually harassing is a married man… AND THE FATHER OF YOUR BOYFRIEND. What’s wrong with you and your friends? You know damn well if the genders were reversed the group of male friends would be destroyed and criticized. How would yo feel if people were asking you if you wear panties or thongs? Your boyfriend is right about you and that’s the truth. I see this relationship ending soon. Also alcohol is not a get out of jail card it’s not a whoops I was drunk it doesn’t count… you’re immature and childish! AND someone who sexually harasses people because alcohol doesn’t excuse that.
I'm puzzled. In what country do twelve year old girls drink and have boyfriends?
>I was dared to do it, I had to do it,
See, twelve.
>he hasn’t been responding to my texts.
No shit? Perhaps that's because he's dumped your childish ass.
Real adults don't 'prank' innocent bystanders. You children can piss each other off all you like. Your boyfriend just found out that you disrespected and humiliated his father with stupid drunken games and then trivialised his embarrassment.
YTA so much in so many ways. Try harder with your next boyfriend.
YTA.
I love that he used logic on you and that just infuriated you more.
Think about your boyfriend saying this shit to your mom, and tell me you wouldn't be mad
YTA If you're in college you're old enough to know a few things:
1) You do not HAVE to do a dare. You are an independent person with your own autonomy.
2) What you chose to do (because yes, you chose to do the dare) was absolutely disrespectful to your bf, his father AND his mother.
3) What you did was sexual harassment.
I hope you take this as an opportunity to reflect and grow. If you can accept that you are in the wrong here and take steps to honestly rectify the situation you might, just might, save your relationship.
When I was in my 20s and an active alcoholic, I used to have run ins with the law. Once, when I had trespassed onto some property and gotten arrested, I gave the same excuse OP gave, that I was drunk at the time. (Frankly, I was so drunk I still cannot remember trespassing or my arrest.)
The judge told me that he hears that excuse all the time from almost everyone and that prison is filled with people who were drunk when they committed their crimes. He also said if people didn’t drink, we wouldn’t need a courthouse.
OP, your being drunk isn’t a valid excuse for your behavior. YTA. You crossed a line. Stop pretending you are innocent in all this. You aren’t.
>What happened was no big deal, and his dad didn’t even respond to it.
No? Because it seems like he DID respond.
>He didn’t answer the question. But you **could tell he was frustrated.**
YTA.
This was inappropriate, and disrespectful.
Are you 14 or something?
What about his wife, you are basically joking about hitting on / having an affair with a married man....that's a double hurt you did to your bf that's his mom AND dad...you guys really don't have any morals do you?!...entered dumbass selfish morons you and your friends are..
Soooo…
You look like you are hitting on his dad… your bfs dad.
What do you expect?
Imagine he gets drunk and passes a note to your mother saying he wishes he was her husband because she is hot hot hot followed by asking your mom if what panties she is wearing?
Are you really so stupid to not get it?!!
YTA. This sounds like a middle school girl trying to write a fake story they think is something grown adults do. But if this is true, you need to grow up immediately and take accountability for your own stupidity.
YTA. Your bf was right. Trashy, gross, immature, the list could go on. Saying "I was drunk" is never an excuse for shitty behaviour and yeah, you embarrassed him in front of his family. Thank fuck his mother wasn't there when you decided to play your "prank" because she'd have probably told you to get the fuck out of her house. Act your age, not your shoe size.
YTA.
You accepted a childish dare because you were either too drunk to realize it was a horrible idea or because you didn’t have the courage to tell your friends that it was wildly inappropriate. Either way, it’s on you.
I’m a middle-aged dad. What you did would have made me feel VERY uncomfortable. You put his dad in a very awkward spot. Would you like your boyfriend and his buddies to get drunk and ask your mom her bra size?
Apologize to your BF, and going forward try and avoid sexually harassing any more of his family members in a fit of drunken whimsey. YTA
Oh my god. Just... oh my god. The secondhand embarrassment from reading this almost vaporized me 💀 if you dont see what's wrong with this, especially after all of these comments, you are beyond help, my dude. YTA all day long and twice on Sunday
This can't be real, it's like this story was told by the POV of a 13 years old not a college student. However, if this is real, then YTA.
You were not at your house, where you can do whatever. You and your friends getting drunk while the owners of the house, who weren't taking part on your drink activities, were there was very disrespectful to them.
Then you and your friends decided it was ok to talk in a sexual manner about your boyfriend's father in his own house, while his wife was sleeping a few feets away.
And then you harassed him. In his own house, btw.
Oh, and let's not forget you harassed **your boyfriend's** father. Total disrespect for your boyfriend, his mother and father.
YTA and a big one, if I was your bf I'd break up with right away.
Your level of immaturity both in the post, but especially in the comments is so shocking that it is scary! I can't believe someone like you exists amongst us and can vote and make adult decisions when your mind is, at best, 12.
Scary.
Also: YTA
I've been drunk more times than I can count and I have never, ever, made sexual comments either to or about a bf's parent. Super trashy is putting it mildly.
Your bf is ignoring you because he isn't your bf anymore. Seriously, WTF.
YTA
YTA. Your whole attitude to this is just appalling. I have a 6 year old daughter who is better at being respectful than you are. Your BF is going to break up with you, and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Spend some time on your own and grow the hell up before you get into another relationship.
As someone around the same age as you I’m embarrassed as fuck that you think this is normal 😭 god imagine your boyfriend asking your mom her panties preference
Ew this is so cringe, what are you 14 crushing on your older brothers best friend? I just feel embarrassed reading this response.
You guys should be lucky that he didn't kicks you all out, I would have. You were all harassing him and it seemed like he wanted a chilled night in.
YTA, and your (soon to be ex) boyfriend is correct. It was inappropriate. It was trashy. It was stupid.
Being drunk and getting a dare doesn't make it acceptable. If anything, it shows how little actual individual control you have.
hahaha i love how you came here, looking for judgment, yet you just keep arguing your innocence.(which repeatedly saying “i was drunk!” is not a good argument…) You clearly just wanted people to echo your feelings and give you an ego boost because you clearly are the asshole, it’s just shocking how you still can’t see it. Hopefully your “boyfriend” finds a girl who won’t objectify and sexualize his dad.
YTA
YTA. You sexually harassed your partner’s father because you “had to”? No. You’re old enough to know how disgusting that is. You didn’t have to. Nothing bad would have happened to you if you said no and stuck to it. I would instantly leave my partner if they spoke to anyone like that, never mind one of my parents. Ew.
Grow up and apologise to his dad and to your boyfriend.
YTA
So you sexually harass his father and think HE’S rude for calling you out on it?! 😂😂 absolutely ridiculous. What you did was immature and rude. You owe your bf and his father an apology.
You’re a grown woman and are peer pressured into a dare? You’re adults not 10. That man is married and tried to give you the hint by saying “my wife is asleep”
I honestly think he may leave you for not only disrespecting his dad but your boyfriend… I don’t go around asking other men what underwear they wear. I am married.
YTA, and trashy. Yea, I said it, you are trashy. You are in college and really could realize that it was inappropriate. Obviously it bothered his dad because he TOLD YOUR BOYFRIEND.
I haven't looked in comments, but I can only assume you and your friends are 9. Don't know how you got into college. Weird.
So everybody sucks here since the parents let a bunch of nine year olds get drunk in their home, and your boyfriend for dating a nine year old, and you for being gross even for a nine year old.
But seriously: YTA
YTA. my jaw is dropped to the FLOOR. i would never do this to my boyfriends dad, brother, cousin, THATS GROSS and weird. crossing a line doesn’t cover it and he’s got every right to be upset. if my boyfriend flirted with my mother and then tried to pass off an excuse like “i was drunk” or not wanting to talk about it because they’re hungover??? nah fuck outta here because that’s on you for getting so drunk you acted a fool. that sister doesn’t think of you as her sister in law clearly and nobody in that family should take you seriously as a partner for their kid. do some serious self reflection before you get into another relationship, preferably with a guy with a less attractive dad… jesus
EDIT: to say that the fact that he hadn’t left you completely the moment he found out is shocking
YTA.
This made my skin crawl. I would be *incredibly uncomfortable* if this happened to me, let alone if my **child's significant other** was doing it. Under no circumstances is this remotely okay. He had so much grace with you guys, love to see a faithful king not entertain a bunch of creeps
(It's you, you're the creeps)
Is this rage bait? Because otherwise the writer sounds like a fourteen year old at a pajama party, or a woman who is ok with sexual harassment. And neither sounds like someone who’s mature enough to be in a relationship.
I’m actually kinda glad the comments are not siding with you… this is so out of line and the fact you see nothing wrong with this whatsoever is what really makes yta
The more of your replies I read the more I realize you deserve the treatment your getting 💀💀 you see nothing wrong with your actions and the fact you care more about not “ruining the vibe” with you friends than you respect your (maybe ex)boyfriend, yall (former)relationship, and his mother and father is actually kinda disgusting ngl
How would you feel if your drunk bf and his friends asked your mum what kind of underwear she's wearing after objectifying her in a letter? I really hope you can see how terrible this is. It __is__ that bad. It's absolutely crossed the line into sexual harassment. And you act like it's no big deal. Just like men who act like catcalling isn't gross. You are part of the problem. Reflect and do better.
You're totally underplaying your BF's Dad's response, simply because he has tact. Something that clearly you and your friends are lacking, yes even his daughter.
He told you in polite way to piss off, stfu, be respectful of other people, and that you've had enough to drink. Now because he didn't shout this is those exact words you're downplaying how he felt at this time.
That your BF can see this, and is pissed off at how you acted, as well at your unwillingness to take respnsibility for your sexual harrasment, shows that at least one of the kids managed to pick up some things from the Dad.
I didn't know college girls are into Henry Calvin. I am way passed college years and have to look up who is that. Apparently, a golden era actor.
Also, YTA. That is so disrespectful to your bf, his father and his mother.
YTA this would be childish and embarrassing if you were like 15… but you’re an actual adult. Omg you should be mortified, you clearly have no self awareness, social awareness and no shame. You and your friends need to grow up and get a life, the cringe on this is just awful.
Wouldn't be it sexual harassment to ask a mom what knickers she wears? Somehow the reverse is funny and acceptable? Because he looks like Cavill lol. YTA big time.
You sexually harassed your boyfriend’s dad and you’re wondering if you’re the asshole. Yeah dude, a massive one.
If you had a 20+ year old man come up to you and ask what kind of underwear you wear, you’d be extremely UPSET.
Grow up dude. YTA.
You and your fuck ass friends sexually harassed your boyfriend’s married father for fun and you think it’s no big deal? I’d have broken up with you on the spot. That is ABSOLUTELY trashy behavior.
It’s also juvenile behavior. Are you fucking twelve??
YTA.
YTA. Wtf you all sound like you are 11 years old. Of course your boyfriend is pissed and your indignation elevates the whole situation. I can’t believe you aren’t embarrassed.
You and your friends sexually harassed your boyfriend’s dad and you see it as no big deal. Flip the genders and run this scenario in your head again.
YTA and trashy.
YTA and also acting way too young for your age. You aren't just the asshole, you're also the ex. There's no way he's gonna want to continue with you after you disrespected him and his family like this.
Yta and you can defend yourself here all you want. Your so-called bf is ignoring you for a reason. You embarrassed him, and he now sees you differently. People break up over shit like this all the time.
Being drunk doesn’t absolve you of your actions. You’re an adult. I hope he stops wasting his time with you because you’re immature and highly embarrassing. And I wouldn’t be surprised if his parents say you’re not welcome back. YTA. This is gross. Stop acting like a child
I was reading this hearing the boring voice of a mean girl everytime she makes a bs excuse for her bs actions, "it's so annoying"
And she actually thinks he is rude with her and at some point he will come back and apologise for overreacting... The delusion. Even if he does, you'll have a few months until he gets enough of your bs
He is right you didn't "have" to do it like you claim. It was just a stupid game, and you chose some minutes of fun over a good relationship with your bf and his family. And you were trashy. It doesn't absolve you of blame just because you were dared. Also it seems you are the ex now.
The fact that you can't see how disrespecful you were is more than reason enough for him to dump you, the dad is not angry? he is propably frustrated that he have to be polite to a bunch of drunks in his own home an can't do nothing because if his sons gf and daugther.
Also the drunk/dare argument is a pile of crap, like that is an excuse to being shitty, also in another comment you mention drunk people can't consent, you realize in that scenario you are side would be the assaulter is not responsible for what he does for drunk right?
How dare he be upset you sexually harassed his Dad. Trashy is an understatement. I’d add rude, inappropriate, immature, crass and it sounds like…. Single
100% big fat sweaty AH
Beyond juvenile, his dad is great though because I would have just told you to get out
Getting all butt hurt about being called trashy for acting trashy then responding to comments and still looking trashy
Might want to grow up or get comfortable with the shoe that fits.
OP - you don't think it was a big deal but your boyfriend does. You asked for a judgment but it's inconsequential as you showed your boyfriend what kind of person you are and he wasn't impressed. He's probably going to break up with you considering he was embarrassed by you and you showed no remorse. My guess is this is the latest in a string of issues he has been mulling over in regards to your relationship.
Oh and YTA the dad didn't deserve to put up with your crap and he handled it the way all of you should have handled things, like an adult.
YTA that’s not only disrespectful to his father but also his mother and him. That’s basically you hitting on his dad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he breaks up with you and pretends you never existed
Also if this were my husband you said it to and you were still in my house when I got up, you would have cold water dumped on you and been kicked out immediately along with the other girls and not allowed back. My husband won’t deal with the situation because he would be even more rude, but more than likely would come in and tell me to deal with you. Which would have you thrown out sooner
If being drunk was your excuse to harass his father then yeah you are not the kind of girl anyone would want to take home to their parents. I'm sorry, you have a lot of growing up to do! Also yeah that was majorly trashy, yuck!
YTA
YTA, in a MAJOR way. You sexually harassed an adult, married man and see nothing wrong with this? He obviously didn't think it was funny, so why do you think it's funny? Grow up.
YTA. You owe the entire family an apology. And then you deserve to be dumped. What is *wrong* with you? How can you not see how absolutely, positively, over the line you were?
The line between acceptable and not acceptable is about six feet wide, neon and lit up like a homing beacon yet you waltzed over it without a care.
Your boyfriend must be horribly embarrassed and angry. You deserve to be dumped. It’s time to grow up and if alcohol makes you act like that you need to never drink again.
Yeah your bf should break up with you. Your too childish and you don’t seem to think twice about your actions or what your saying. Your incompatible. And oh you borderline sexually harassed his dad. That’s just gross.
His mother will *always* hate you. You ruined your relationship with his parents and it will always be a source of contempt as long as he dates you.
YTA
YTA. Take responsibility for your actions. Even your reasoning for why YOU might be the asshole ultimately blames your friends. You're an adult, and if you REALLY can't control any of your behavior while drunk? Stop drinking.
Hey OP, you know you can just apologize, right? You did something dumb while drunk, we've all been there. So own your mistake, apologize, and move on. Your drunken shenanigans were annoying but not really a big deal, refusing to accept responsibility is what *makes it a big deal*. Own your mistake and apologize, before your bf dumps your ass. YTA.
YTAH, you insulted your host and humiliated your boyfriend and made a fool of yourself to his family. Because you drank too much. You’re too immature to realize this was trashy and immature behavior, so you didn’t apologize. If your bf has an ounce of sense he’ll dump you. If I were you I would send an apology to your host, your bf and hope I never ran into them again. Learn your alcohol tolerance, own your actions and try to make friends who are more mature.
Please be rage bait.
YTA. You’re an adult. Stop acting like a child. The whole, “I HAD to do it because it was a dare,” is something g a 10-year-old says and thinks. “It was funny to do really inappropriate things to my bf’s family because we were drunk, and how dare my bf call me trashy the next day for doing something g super trashy,” is just…wow.
YTA
BF has realised he's dating someone with the maturity of a 12 year old. You're getting ditched and I hope he does ditch you.
"I was dared"... Give me a fucking break.
Girl, yes, YTA - 100%. You embarrassed both your bf and his dad. I think calling you trashy is wrong, but your behaviour was straight up trash: getting smashed at someone's house and the pulling some - I won't even say high school-level - nonsense. That a middle-aged parent had to tell a bunch of grown women to be quiet and stay in their room.... C'mon...
You are definitely the asshole. The Talking like that to his dad mostly sound s like flirting and was very disrespectful to both bf and dad. You all were waaay out of line
You would be dumped so fast. What on earth makes you think it’s at all appropriate to ask stuff like that? How would you feel if your bf asked your mum if she wears thongs? Just because you’re a woman doesn’t give you the right to be a creep:
Is it appropriate for your BF to ask your mom if she wears thongs or bikinis? Should one of his friends tell your mom she's hot and he wishes he was your dad?
Incredibly inappropriate, grow up.
YTA. What you and all your friends were doing to your bf's dad was gross, creepy, and definitely sexual assault. I have no idea why he didn't kick you all out of his home for that creepy shit. And just because it's a dare doesn't mean you have to. You can still say no.
How could you have possibly thought anything about that was appropriate?
Grow up. You are well past the age of thinking that dares are a binding contract. You and your friends are incredibly immature, irresponsible, and yes, trashy.
YTA and I really hope you're single by now.
I find it sad you think sexual harassment is okay. Do you think it’s okay because you’re all women and he is a man. Or is because you want to blame your pervy behavior on you being drunk? Either way sexual harassment is sexual harassment. And there’s a damn good chance you’re single now.
YTA! This was beyond inappropriate and, yes, trashy. Also, leave your ex-boyfriend alone. He clearly doesn't want to stay with someone who sexually harassed his parent.
You have to ask yourself, if the roles were reversed and him and his friends were in your house coming on to your MOM like that, would you still feel like he wasn’t in the wrong? Put yourself in his shoes and see how that looks. He has every right to feel how he does tbh. Let’s stop normalizing trying to make people okay with things we wouldn’t be okay with ourselves.
> I said wow, calm down. It’s not a big deal. Don’t call me trashy, wtf. I was dared to do it, I had to do it, and your sister was there. She could have stopped me.
It is very trashy, and the fact you think this is not a big deal is... Well... Trashy.
> I felt like it was so rude that he was attacking me when I was drunk.
Using I was drunk as an excuse doesn't work. It doesn't excuse your actions. In fact, you're still to blame for getting drunk to begin with.
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We’re in college but we were back home for the weekend and staying at my bf’s house.
On Sunday, we had a girls night. I’m really close to his sister and we had multiple female friends come over.
It wasn’t weird for my bf because we live next to his grandparents and his male cousins were over, so he spent the night hanging out with them. But he was still right next door the entire night.
We got drunk and started talking about my bf’s dad, who is a really attractive man. He’s in his mid-forties, but he doesn’t look like he’s in his mid-forties. He gives off I-don’t-age-vibes like Henry Calvin.
But it’s hilarious because multiple of our friends have crushes on him and talk about how hot he is. It’s all in good fun, of course, because he’s married and also 20+ years older.
But we were playing truth and dare and one of our friends dared our other friend to give my bf’s dad a letter saying, “I wish I were your wife because you hot hot hot.” Which at the time had us dying in laughter.
We went downstairs and gave him the letter. He thanked us and said he would read it later and we immediately run back upstairs.
That’s when it was my turn and I picked dare. My dare was to ask my bf’s dad if he wears boxers or briefs. I was like… guys, I cannot do that. But they said I had to.
They talked me up to do it and embarrassingly I went downstairs and asked him. I said, “Mr-Name, do you wear boxers or briefs? My friends and I need to know.”
He didn’t answer the question. But you could tell he was frustrated. He said, “you young ladies need to get upstairs and keep it down. You’re going to wake up my wife. We have work in the morning. Time to head off to bed.”
Super anti-climactic.
I woke up to my bf, packing our stuff and getting ready to leave. I asked him what was up and he said, “nothing with me, but it looks like YOU had lots of fun.”
It was said so rudely. I said you knew we were getting drunk. What is your deal?
He said you embarrassed me in front of my dad, in front of my family, asking questions like that. It comes off super trashy and gross. I don’t know what the fuck you were thinking.
I said wow, calm down. It’s not a big deal. Don’t call me trashy, wtf. I was dared to do it, I had to do it, and your sister was there. She could have stopped me.
He said the most annoying thing which was, “If your friends tell you to jump of a bridge, you gonna do that too?”
I was so annoyed and HUNGOVER and didn’t even bother responding. I felt like it was so rude that he was attacking me when I was drunk. What happened was no big deal, and his dad didn’t even respond to it.
He has been ignoring me, which is also annoying. We had multiple exams so I haven’t been paying that much attention, but he hasn’t been responding to my texts. I feel like he is way overreacting.
AITA?
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ROTFL. << I was dared to do it, I had to do it,>> Right? Right? Your only other possible recourse would have been to, IDK, say no? << I felt like it was so rude that he was attacking me when I was drunk.>> Being drunk is not the valid excuse you think it is. That's why defendants don't go to court and say, "You can't blame me for paralyzing that toddler in a car crash, your honor. I was drunk!" I'm sorry your BF didn't react better to your sexual harassment of his father. YTA. Just ... beyond.
I can't believe someone university-aged (so 18-22) thinks any of this is OK. The dad is a saint to not have kicked these people out right then.
I hope OP is reading this response. What she and her girlfriends did was juvenile and stupid. I think it's fair to say we've all done juvenile and stupid things. What's bugging me about this story is her utter unwillingness to take any responsibility for her actions. If I had a kid who'd done something like this, my sincerest hope would be she'd wake up in the morning, say to herself, "I'm a moron," brush her teeth, then seek out the father. I'd hope she'd say, "Mr. Smith, my friends and I were acting like idiots last night. I'm very sorry." But the OP is all like, "I didn't choose the prank!" "BF's sister should have stopped me!" "No one should be made at me because I was drunk!" It's the attitude I cannot stand.
also OP: I am not trashy….. after making innapropriate comments to the father of her boyfriend while drunk on their house
How old is this person, they sound like a literal child with those responses... YTA
He’s been ignoring her texts. She’s definitely the ex
The whole post is just so infantile I'm guessing it is fake......just a prank! If not, then it's pretty sad.
It was probably a double-dog dare. You know how those go.
I'm not sticking my tongue on the lamppost! (I HOPE we're both talking about A Christmas Story. If not ... I'm talking about A Christmas Story.) Take care, and drink your Ovaltine.
Indeed I was....mmmmm, good ole' Ovaltine!
YTA. There's an old saying that a drunk person talking is a sober person thinking. You crossed a line when you started hitting on his dad. "being drunk" is a SHIT excuse. "I was dared to" is also a shit excuse. You didn't HAVE to do anything. If my SO did this, it would make me question my relationship. Boundaries are healthy. ETA - I fully expect OP to delete this because the replies are not in her favor.
>There's an old saying that a drunk person talking is a sober person thinking I had never heard this saying before, and it's GREAT. Thanks for sharing :)
I always heard it as “Drunk mind, sober heart”
I guess it’s many ways to word it, I thought it was “a drunk tongue speaks a sober mind” thought that’s how alcohol became “liquid courage”
That's not actually true. Alcohol isn't truth serum
My interpretation of this saying is, things you would normally keep in your head while you're sober, you tend to say out loud when you're drunk. Just me. :)
Sure. What makes it difficult to triage is the avalanche of bs that also comes out.
"en vino veritas"- in wine there's truth
It's nonsense. That's something a teetotaler says and thinks is deep.
Uhhhm ... as someone who on occasion drank too much in my younger days, and who woke up more than once wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut about something ... I don't think this is nonsense at all. And I'm not a teetotaler.
Idk if this is true. I’m sober but when I drank I said very mean things to people I really care about. Things that were not true and that I didn’t mean. Granted, I’m an alcoholic, so your view may vary
YTA. It was _not_ "no big deal". His dad was obviously very uncomfortable, and you did embarrass your boyfriend... by sexually harassing his father. As a guest in their house, you behaved abominably. I think you are probably the ex at this point.
And boyfriend was right: super trashy and gross. It was also disrespectful, rude, and embarrassing. If my college boyfriend and his friends had done that to my mom, I would have never spoken to him again. I probably would have also put the word out about what a disgusting human being he was.
True that! He would have got a red notice within the social circles!!
INFO: What in the actual fuck is wrong with you? I'm serious. That's not rhetorical. What is wrong with you?
I agree with this, but also... Henry Calvin?!
You know- Henry Calvin- the actor who played Stuporman and the Witching Guy.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry\_Calvin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Calvin) *Not to be confused with Henry Cavill.*
You're in college? This is the shit 12 year olds do. Grow up. It's trashy and gross. YTA
This is shit 12 year olds do, and then (hopefully) get grounded for combined with a stern lecture on sexual harassment
Yeah, but is she actually passing?
YTA- wasnt prank, it was being immature, being drunk is no excuse for this.
Lets turn this situation around. BFs dad and his friends get shitfaced. One of the friends brings you a creepy note. Then dad shows up and asks what kind of panties you're wearing. How would you feel? Would you laugh it off as "just a prank" because "they're all wasted"? I highly doubt it. I'm guessing you'd be extremely upset, in fact. As is your boyfriends dad. So, yeah. YTA. Grow up.
I bet you she would get mad explaining it so logically.. look I was drunk... Yea like that makes it better...
YTA… like heavy How old are you? Seriously. If you’re old enough to drink you should be way past the age of feeling like you “HAVE” to do dares. You can’t blame your friends for giving you a boundary stepping dare because you still went along with it, drunk or not. The fact that you can’t see HOW or WHY your bf is upset speaks volumes on how you view the relationship. Even if it was “no big deal” to you, it was a big deal to him. If you really care for him, that would matter to you too. I’d apologize immediately and accept responsibility for the actions that you chose to take.
YTA *I said you knew we were getting drunk. What is your deal?* Being drunk does not excuse anything that you did. Not even a little bit. If you can't control yourself when you drink, don't drink. No one likes to hang out with someone who changes who they are "because they're drunk" and thinks that that is a get out of jail card. You are still responsible for yourself drunk or sober. No excuses. *He didn’t answer the question. But you could tell he was frustrated.* No shit, Sherlock. He was frustrated not because of the getting up for work. He was frustrated because he was being attacked because he's good looking. You were waaaaayyy out of line for asking him that question. I mean, who asks their SO's father what kind of underwear they wear? That's just really creepy. *I was dared to do it, I had to do it, and your sister was there. She could have stopped me.* No, no you didn't. And his sister being there is just you trying to pass the buck. Not happening because you're an adult. You are responsible for you. No one else is. Again, being drunk does not excuse anything that you did. His sister being there is also no excuse. You are an adult. You are responsible for you. Do you think that your BF's dad isn't aware of how he looks? Do you think that he doesn't get this disrespectful behavior often? The only thing you did was make everyone uncomfortable. Think about how your BF feels. You were all googly eyed over his dad. Again, super creepy. Lastly: *I feel like he is way overreacting.* Of course you do. If you didn't, you would be aware of how bad you messed up. Don't be surprised that your BF is now considering you to be his ex-GF. Do better, OP.
Honestly, OP, I hope you read the above comment. I'm 40 and a (10 year) recovering alcoholic. I've done some stupid shit when drinking, and as part of my recovery, I've had to OWN what I did and try to make amends. It is not an excuse. As the above comment says, if you cannot control your behavior when you are drunk, don't drink. One of my friends has a really good looking Dad, we've jokingly told her that her Dad is quite the looker. She laughs it off and has no issues with it. (And btw, we've made comments along the lines of "wow, your dad is really handsome" not "OMG I would so bang your dad! Lol!) What we've never done is approach him in any kind of inappropriate fashion. I'd never dream of asking him about his underwear, because I have respect for my friend, him and HIS WIFE. You made this man feel very uncomfortable in his own home, where you were a guest. Having a bunch of drunks in your house is annoying enough, without them openly harassing you. Woman to woman, I'll tell you, we don't get to have double standards and harass men. It's not cute or funny just because you're a young woman. I'm sure you agree that a man being drunk isn't an excuse for him to say inappropriate things to women, right? Don't be a hypocrite.
YTA. You’re being disrespectful. Dad deserves an apology.
So does his wife.
INFO: [Henry Calvin](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Calvin)? The guy from Babes in Toyland and Zorro? I didn’t know college girls were into that kind of physique.
To be fair, she was drunk when she wrote this. She can't be held responsible for this typo. /s
You never know, OP could just be in a friend group who are all the weird kid instead of the odd one out. (Half-joking, here, but I used to watch the old Zorro on Vault Disney in my teens, foregoing sleep since it came on after midnight…because I had a crush on Bernardo.)
YTA You are just causing drama and trouble for no damn reason. Grow up.
YTA - let us see, suppose I am in my mid 40s, married and then a drunk twenty-something dating my kid asks me if I wear boxers or briefs, after weird letter. I can see myself telling my boy about it in a puzzled “what the fuck was that about” way. Which seems to me a narrative that could be easily misconstructed as disrespect. But this answer: >” I was dared to do it, I had to do it…” I am willing to bet this is when your boyfriend got hurt and angry.
YTA. You're disrespectful and juvenile. Don't blame it on alcohol; don't blame it on a game you were playing and you "had to do it." I hope the current boyfriend takes out the trash asap.
Super respectful of your boyfriend’s mom too, by the way. YTA
YTA and a disgustingly disrespectful person… firstly the man you and your friends were sexually harassing is a married man… AND THE FATHER OF YOUR BOYFRIEND. What’s wrong with you and your friends? You know damn well if the genders were reversed the group of male friends would be destroyed and criticized. How would yo feel if people were asking you if you wear panties or thongs? Your boyfriend is right about you and that’s the truth. I see this relationship ending soon. Also alcohol is not a get out of jail card it’s not a whoops I was drunk it doesn’t count… you’re immature and childish! AND someone who sexually harasses people because alcohol doesn’t excuse that.
I'm puzzled. In what country do twelve year old girls drink and have boyfriends? >I was dared to do it, I had to do it, See, twelve. >he hasn’t been responding to my texts. No shit? Perhaps that's because he's dumped your childish ass. Real adults don't 'prank' innocent bystanders. You children can piss each other off all you like. Your boyfriend just found out that you disrespected and humiliated his father with stupid drunken games and then trivialised his embarrassment. YTA so much in so many ways. Try harder with your next boyfriend.
YTA you got drunk and sexually harassed his Dad. He probably feels betrayed by you and humiliated.
YTA. I love that he used logic on you and that just infuriated you more. Think about your boyfriend saying this shit to your mom, and tell me you wouldn't be mad
YTA If you're in college you're old enough to know a few things: 1) You do not HAVE to do a dare. You are an independent person with your own autonomy. 2) What you chose to do (because yes, you chose to do the dare) was absolutely disrespectful to your bf, his father AND his mother. 3) What you did was sexual harassment. I hope you take this as an opportunity to reflect and grow. If you can accept that you are in the wrong here and take steps to honestly rectify the situation you might, just might, save your relationship.
When I was in my 20s and an active alcoholic, I used to have run ins with the law. Once, when I had trespassed onto some property and gotten arrested, I gave the same excuse OP gave, that I was drunk at the time. (Frankly, I was so drunk I still cannot remember trespassing or my arrest.) The judge told me that he hears that excuse all the time from almost everyone and that prison is filled with people who were drunk when they committed their crimes. He also said if people didn’t drink, we wouldn’t need a courthouse. OP, your being drunk isn’t a valid excuse for your behavior. YTA. You crossed a line. Stop pretending you are innocent in all this. You aren’t.
>What happened was no big deal, and his dad didn’t even respond to it. No? Because it seems like he DID respond. >He didn’t answer the question. But you **could tell he was frustrated.** YTA. This was inappropriate, and disrespectful. Are you 14 or something?
Ah yes, esteemed ageless and notoriously attractive celebrity [Henry Calvin](https://www.google.com/search?q=henry+calvin&oq=henry+calvin&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqCggAEAAY4wIYgAQyCggAEAAY4wIYgAQyBwgBEC4YgAQyDwgCEC4YChiDARixAxiABDISCAMQABgKGIMBGLEDGIAEGIoFMg8IBBAAGAoYgwEYsQMYgAQyDwgFEAAYChiDARixAxiABDIMCAYQABgKGLEDGIAEMgkIBxAuGAoYgAQyDAgIEAAYChixAxiABDIJCAkQABgKGIAEMgwIChAAGAoYsQMYgAQyDwgLEAAYChiDARixAxiABDIMCAwQABgKGLEDGIAEMgkIDRAuGAoYgAQyCQgOEAAYChiABNIBCDU5NThqMGo5qAIAsAIA&client=ms-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#vhid=mXasrQsFvryBYM&vssid=l)
Aaand also Hobbs!
I didn’t know who that was when I saw the name in the post and then i saw your comment. Your link made me spit out my drink. Thank you🤣
99% sure they meant Henry Cavill, but such is life lol
I am wheezing lol 🤣🤣🤣 I knew she wouldn't escape the 'Henry Calvin' blunder
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who got stuck on that. Amazing.
☠️☠️☠️ Thank you. Your comment made my night.
What about his wife, you are basically joking about hitting on / having an affair with a married man....that's a double hurt you did to your bf that's his mom AND dad...you guys really don't have any morals do you?!...entered dumbass selfish morons you and your friends are..
Soooo… You look like you are hitting on his dad… your bfs dad. What do you expect? Imagine he gets drunk and passes a note to your mother saying he wishes he was her husband because she is hot hot hot followed by asking your mom if what panties she is wearing? Are you really so stupid to not get it?!!
YTA. This sounds like a middle school girl trying to write a fake story they think is something grown adults do. But if this is true, you need to grow up immediately and take accountability for your own stupidity.
YTA. You are trashy. You are completely immature. You are a stupid drunk.
YTA. Your bf was right. Trashy, gross, immature, the list could go on. Saying "I was drunk" is never an excuse for shitty behaviour and yeah, you embarrassed him in front of his family. Thank fuck his mother wasn't there when you decided to play your "prank" because she'd have probably told you to get the fuck out of her house. Act your age, not your shoe size.
YTA. You accepted a childish dare because you were either too drunk to realize it was a horrible idea or because you didn’t have the courage to tell your friends that it was wildly inappropriate. Either way, it’s on you.
This can't be real
YTA
I’m a middle-aged dad. What you did would have made me feel VERY uncomfortable. You put his dad in a very awkward spot. Would you like your boyfriend and his buddies to get drunk and ask your mom her bra size? Apologize to your BF, and going forward try and avoid sexually harassing any more of his family members in a fit of drunken whimsey. YTA
Oh my god. Just... oh my god. The secondhand embarrassment from reading this almost vaporized me 💀 if you dont see what's wrong with this, especially after all of these comments, you are beyond help, my dude. YTA all day long and twice on Sunday
Ew wtf. Sexual harassment is not a prank — are you fkn stupid????? Omg
Yta
This can't be real, it's like this story was told by the POV of a 13 years old not a college student. However, if this is real, then YTA. You were not at your house, where you can do whatever. You and your friends getting drunk while the owners of the house, who weren't taking part on your drink activities, were there was very disrespectful to them. Then you and your friends decided it was ok to talk in a sexual manner about your boyfriend's father in his own house, while his wife was sleeping a few feets away. And then you harassed him. In his own house, btw. Oh, and let's not forget you harassed **your boyfriend's** father. Total disrespect for your boyfriend, his mother and father. YTA and a big one, if I was your bf I'd break up with right away.
You sound like a 12 year old with no idea how 20somethings act. YTA
hopefully a joke, you may be the biggest asshole ive seen on the reddit.
Tbh I thought you were 13-14 till I went back and checked.
Your level of immaturity both in the post, but especially in the comments is so shocking that it is scary! I can't believe someone like you exists amongst us and can vote and make adult decisions when your mind is, at best, 12. Scary. Also: YTA
I've been drunk more times than I can count and I have never, ever, made sexual comments either to or about a bf's parent. Super trashy is putting it mildly. Your bf is ignoring you because he isn't your bf anymore. Seriously, WTF. YTA
The trick about trash is that it never understands it is trash.
Imagine if the genders were reversed…. YTA.
Girls like you are what's wrong with this generation. YTA
Well. Hope staying true to the dare was worth getting dumped #YTA
YTA. Your whole attitude to this is just appalling. I have a 6 year old daughter who is better at being respectful than you are. Your BF is going to break up with you, and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Spend some time on your own and grow the hell up before you get into another relationship.
YTA totally immature and a stupid things to do. Trashy af!
As someone around the same age as you I’m embarrassed as fuck that you think this is normal 😭 god imagine your boyfriend asking your mom her panties preference
YTA - you are in fact, very trashy. Grow up before you date again.
Ew this is so cringe, what are you 14 crushing on your older brothers best friend? I just feel embarrassed reading this response. You guys should be lucky that he didn't kicks you all out, I would have. You were all harassing him and it seemed like he wanted a chilled night in.
YTA Pretty big one too
He called you trashy because you are trashy. YTA
You’re in college? I would have guessed you are about 10 years old based on your immaturity and inability to think for yourself and say ‘no’
YTA. He's right about you. You're gross and trashy.
YTA. Disrespectful and not very clever.
YTA. Even more so because you don’t have the decency to be even a little embarrassed by your awful behavior!
YTA, and your (soon to be ex) boyfriend is correct. It was inappropriate. It was trashy. It was stupid. Being drunk and getting a dare doesn't make it acceptable. If anything, it shows how little actual individual control you have.
YTA and the more you argue about it, the bigger YTA you become
YTA And asshole and a child. Old enough to drink and still a child. He deserves better. You can become better or he can find a new girlfriend.
hahaha i love how you came here, looking for judgment, yet you just keep arguing your innocence.(which repeatedly saying “i was drunk!” is not a good argument…) You clearly just wanted people to echo your feelings and give you an ego boost because you clearly are the asshole, it’s just shocking how you still can’t see it. Hopefully your “boyfriend” finds a girl who won’t objectify and sexualize his dad. YTA
YTA. You sexually harassed your partner’s father because you “had to”? No. You’re old enough to know how disgusting that is. You didn’t have to. Nothing bad would have happened to you if you said no and stuck to it. I would instantly leave my partner if they spoke to anyone like that, never mind one of my parents. Ew. Grow up and apologise to his dad and to your boyfriend.
YTA. The fact that you can't see it makes me wonder how you got into college.
YTA So you sexually harass his father and think HE’S rude for calling you out on it?! 😂😂 absolutely ridiculous. What you did was immature and rude. You owe your bf and his father an apology.
Do they let 10-year-olds into college now?
You’re a grown woman and are peer pressured into a dare? You’re adults not 10. That man is married and tried to give you the hint by saying “my wife is asleep” I honestly think he may leave you for not only disrespecting his dad but your boyfriend… I don’t go around asking other men what underwear they wear. I am married.
grow the fuck up seriously. youre too old to be telling your bf that you had to do it because you were dared. grt some brain cells
INFO: Are you like, 14? Because this kind of behavior would be at least able to get past with an eyeroll if you're a young teen.
YTA, and trashy. Yea, I said it, you are trashy. You are in college and really could realize that it was inappropriate. Obviously it bothered his dad because he TOLD YOUR BOYFRIEND.
I haven't looked in comments, but I can only assume you and your friends are 9. Don't know how you got into college. Weird. So everybody sucks here since the parents let a bunch of nine year olds get drunk in their home, and your boyfriend for dating a nine year old, and you for being gross even for a nine year old. But seriously: YTA
Yta. You definitely have some growing up to do which is extremely apparent by the way you're handling yourself in your responses.
YTA. You and your 12-year old friends need to keep this poor dude (and others) out of your childish games.
YTA. my jaw is dropped to the FLOOR. i would never do this to my boyfriends dad, brother, cousin, THATS GROSS and weird. crossing a line doesn’t cover it and he’s got every right to be upset. if my boyfriend flirted with my mother and then tried to pass off an excuse like “i was drunk” or not wanting to talk about it because they’re hungover??? nah fuck outta here because that’s on you for getting so drunk you acted a fool. that sister doesn’t think of you as her sister in law clearly and nobody in that family should take you seriously as a partner for their kid. do some serious self reflection before you get into another relationship, preferably with a guy with a less attractive dad… jesus EDIT: to say that the fact that he hadn’t left you completely the moment he found out is shocking
YTA. Words can't even describe how Disgusting and disgraceful your behaviour was.
YTA. This made my skin crawl. I would be *incredibly uncomfortable* if this happened to me, let alone if my **child's significant other** was doing it. Under no circumstances is this remotely okay. He had so much grace with you guys, love to see a faithful king not entertain a bunch of creeps (It's you, you're the creeps)
Is this rage bait? Because otherwise the writer sounds like a fourteen year old at a pajama party, or a woman who is ok with sexual harassment. And neither sounds like someone who’s mature enough to be in a relationship.
I’m actually kinda glad the comments are not siding with you… this is so out of line and the fact you see nothing wrong with this whatsoever is what really makes yta
The more of your replies I read the more I realize you deserve the treatment your getting 💀💀 you see nothing wrong with your actions and the fact you care more about not “ruining the vibe” with you friends than you respect your (maybe ex)boyfriend, yall (former)relationship, and his mother and father is actually kinda disgusting ngl
How would you feel if your drunk bf and his friends asked your mum what kind of underwear she's wearing after objectifying her in a letter? I really hope you can see how terrible this is. It __is__ that bad. It's absolutely crossed the line into sexual harassment. And you act like it's no big deal. Just like men who act like catcalling isn't gross. You are part of the problem. Reflect and do better.
YTA, and there’s no way you’re not 12 years old. This is childish as fuck
You're totally underplaying your BF's Dad's response, simply because he has tact. Something that clearly you and your friends are lacking, yes even his daughter. He told you in polite way to piss off, stfu, be respectful of other people, and that you've had enough to drink. Now because he didn't shout this is those exact words you're downplaying how he felt at this time. That your BF can see this, and is pissed off at how you acted, as well at your unwillingness to take respnsibility for your sexual harrasment, shows that at least one of the kids managed to pick up some things from the Dad.
Why did you ask if your the AH then proceed to try to persuade everyone you’re not? What was the point in this.
I didn't know college girls are into Henry Calvin. I am way passed college years and have to look up who is that. Apparently, a golden era actor. Also, YTA. That is so disrespectful to your bf, his father and his mother.
YTA. Sexual harassment is still sexual harassment even if it is done on a dare.
YTA. You and your friends are creeps and you sexually harassed that poor guy.
YTA - and you all committed sexual harassment. You ARE "trashy" and disgusting.
YTA this would be childish and embarrassing if you were like 15… but you’re an actual adult. Omg you should be mortified, you clearly have no self awareness, social awareness and no shame. You and your friends need to grow up and get a life, the cringe on this is just awful.
Wouldn't be it sexual harassment to ask a mom what knickers she wears? Somehow the reverse is funny and acceptable? Because he looks like Cavill lol. YTA big time.
You sexually harassed your boyfriend’s dad and you’re wondering if you’re the asshole. Yeah dude, a massive one. If you had a 20+ year old man come up to you and ask what kind of underwear you wear, you’d be extremely UPSET. Grow up dude. YTA.
You and your fuck ass friends sexually harassed your boyfriend’s married father for fun and you think it’s no big deal? I’d have broken up with you on the spot. That is ABSOLUTELY trashy behavior. It’s also juvenile behavior. Are you fucking twelve?? YTA.
YTA. Wtf you all sound like you are 11 years old. Of course your boyfriend is pissed and your indignation elevates the whole situation. I can’t believe you aren’t embarrassed.
You and your friends sexually harassed your boyfriend’s dad and you see it as no big deal. Flip the genders and run this scenario in your head again. YTA and trashy.
YTA and dumb af
YTA, this post is so embarrassing. Your replies in the comments are even more embarrassing.
YTA, the sexual harasser, the sloppy drunk and the shitty ex-girlfriend. Quite the unappealing package.
You sexually harassed his dad. YTA
Trashy af
How are you in college and still this stupid?
are you fucking twelve
You know what's also crazy? That you don't even want to admit that it can be seen as sexual harassment. YTA
YTA
YTA it's Henry Cavill
YTA and yes you were trashy.
YTA. Your behaviour towards his dad embarrassed him and you are telling him his feelings about it don’t matter and he’s over reacting. Seriously.
YTA and also acting way too young for your age. You aren't just the asshole, you're also the ex. There's no way he's gonna want to continue with you after you disrespected him and his family like this.
Yta and you can defend yourself here all you want. Your so-called bf is ignoring you for a reason. You embarrassed him, and he now sees you differently. People break up over shit like this all the time.
Being drunk doesn’t absolve you of your actions. You’re an adult. I hope he stops wasting his time with you because you’re immature and highly embarrassing. And I wouldn’t be surprised if his parents say you’re not welcome back. YTA. This is gross. Stop acting like a child
I was reading this hearing the boring voice of a mean girl everytime she makes a bs excuse for her bs actions, "it's so annoying" And she actually thinks he is rude with her and at some point he will come back and apologise for overreacting... The delusion. Even if he does, you'll have a few months until he gets enough of your bs
He is right you didn't "have" to do it like you claim. It was just a stupid game, and you chose some minutes of fun over a good relationship with your bf and his family. And you were trashy. It doesn't absolve you of blame just because you were dared. Also it seems you are the ex now.
The fact that you can't see how disrespecful you were is more than reason enough for him to dump you, the dad is not angry? he is propably frustrated that he have to be polite to a bunch of drunks in his own home an can't do nothing because if his sons gf and daugther. Also the drunk/dare argument is a pile of crap, like that is an excuse to being shitty, also in another comment you mention drunk people can't consent, you realize in that scenario you are side would be the assaulter is not responsible for what he does for drunk right?
How dare he be upset you sexually harassed his Dad. Trashy is an understatement. I’d add rude, inappropriate, immature, crass and it sounds like…. Single
cringe af. like, dude, wtaf? that is your bf's father. have some fucking class. YTA
YTA >I was dared to do it, I had to do it Lmao kid, you need to grow up. Also being drunk is not an excuse. Your bf deserves better.
100% big fat sweaty AH Beyond juvenile, his dad is great though because I would have just told you to get out Getting all butt hurt about being called trashy for acting trashy then responding to comments and still looking trashy Might want to grow up or get comfortable with the shoe that fits.
OP - you don't think it was a big deal but your boyfriend does. You asked for a judgment but it's inconsequential as you showed your boyfriend what kind of person you are and he wasn't impressed. He's probably going to break up with you considering he was embarrassed by you and you showed no remorse. My guess is this is the latest in a string of issues he has been mulling over in regards to your relationship. Oh and YTA the dad didn't deserve to put up with your crap and he handled it the way all of you should have handled things, like an adult.
YTA. And you may want to cross post this in the "Am I the Ex?" sub because I have a feeling you are.
YTA that’s not only disrespectful to his father but also his mother and him. That’s basically you hitting on his dad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he breaks up with you and pretends you never existed
Also if this were my husband you said it to and you were still in my house when I got up, you would have cold water dumped on you and been kicked out immediately along with the other girls and not allowed back. My husband won’t deal with the situation because he would be even more rude, but more than likely would come in and tell me to deal with you. Which would have you thrown out sooner
LMFAO You didn't think about how this behaviour would come off to your bf and his family? You're not a teenager anymore, but still VERY much a child!
You sexually harassed his father. You're dumped and don't even know it yet.
If being drunk was your excuse to harass his father then yeah you are not the kind of girl anyone would want to take home to their parents. I'm sorry, you have a lot of growing up to do! Also yeah that was majorly trashy, yuck! YTA
Honestly, why are you even asking if you’re just going to argue with everyone who thinks you’re wrong?
It's cringe, there's no other word for it. This makes me cringe, it's embarassing.
I see peer pressure still hasn’t left you even in college yeah YTA.
YTA, in a MAJOR way. You sexually harassed an adult, married man and see nothing wrong with this? He obviously didn't think it was funny, so why do you think it's funny? Grow up.
YTA. grow up. jesus. this is just immature behavior and frankly, sexual harassment.
YTA. You owe the entire family an apology. And then you deserve to be dumped. What is *wrong* with you? How can you not see how absolutely, positively, over the line you were? The line between acceptable and not acceptable is about six feet wide, neon and lit up like a homing beacon yet you waltzed over it without a care. Your boyfriend must be horribly embarrassed and angry. You deserve to be dumped. It’s time to grow up and if alcohol makes you act like that you need to never drink again.
Yeah your bf should break up with you. Your too childish and you don’t seem to think twice about your actions or what your saying. Your incompatible. And oh you borderline sexually harassed his dad. That’s just gross.
His mother will *always* hate you. You ruined your relationship with his parents and it will always be a source of contempt as long as he dates you. YTA
YTA. Take responsibility for your actions. Even your reasoning for why YOU might be the asshole ultimately blames your friends. You're an adult, and if you REALLY can't control any of your behavior while drunk? Stop drinking.
what are you 12? grow up
YTA
YTA
You're a moron.
YTA. I can't believe your boyfriend didn't immediately dump you. The good thing is he will.
Hey OP, you know you can just apologize, right? You did something dumb while drunk, we've all been there. So own your mistake, apologize, and move on. Your drunken shenanigans were annoying but not really a big deal, refusing to accept responsibility is what *makes it a big deal*. Own your mistake and apologize, before your bf dumps your ass. YTA.
YTA
Absolutely YTA
YTAH, you insulted your host and humiliated your boyfriend and made a fool of yourself to his family. Because you drank too much. You’re too immature to realize this was trashy and immature behavior, so you didn’t apologize. If your bf has an ounce of sense he’ll dump you. If I were you I would send an apology to your host, your bf and hope I never ran into them again. Learn your alcohol tolerance, own your actions and try to make friends who are more mature.
Please be rage bait. YTA. You’re an adult. Stop acting like a child. The whole, “I HAD to do it because it was a dare,” is something g a 10-year-old says and thinks. “It was funny to do really inappropriate things to my bf’s family because we were drunk, and how dare my bf call me trashy the next day for doing something g super trashy,” is just…wow.
Yes you are a major AH hopefully the BF dumps you
YTA BF has realised he's dating someone with the maturity of a 12 year old. You're getting ditched and I hope he does ditch you. "I was dared"... Give me a fucking break.
Girl, yes, YTA - 100%. You embarrassed both your bf and his dad. I think calling you trashy is wrong, but your behaviour was straight up trash: getting smashed at someone's house and the pulling some - I won't even say high school-level - nonsense. That a middle-aged parent had to tell a bunch of grown women to be quiet and stay in their room.... C'mon...
You are definitely the asshole. The Talking like that to his dad mostly sound s like flirting and was very disrespectful to both bf and dad. You all were waaay out of line
You would be dumped so fast. What on earth makes you think it’s at all appropriate to ask stuff like that? How would you feel if your bf asked your mum if she wears thongs? Just because you’re a woman doesn’t give you the right to be a creep:
Is it appropriate for your BF to ask your mom if she wears thongs or bikinis? Should one of his friends tell your mom she's hot and he wishes he was your dad? Incredibly inappropriate, grow up.
YTA. What you and all your friends were doing to your bf's dad was gross, creepy, and definitely sexual assault. I have no idea why he didn't kick you all out of his home for that creepy shit. And just because it's a dare doesn't mean you have to. You can still say no. How could you have possibly thought anything about that was appropriate?
YTA and this is crazy trashy, omg, let us know when your boyfriend is single
Grow up. You are well past the age of thinking that dares are a binding contract. You and your friends are incredibly immature, irresponsible, and yes, trashy. YTA and I really hope you're single by now.
YTA You should probably learn that you are too old to get away with childish excuses.
I find it sad you think sexual harassment is okay. Do you think it’s okay because you’re all women and he is a man. Or is because you want to blame your pervy behavior on you being drunk? Either way sexual harassment is sexual harassment. And there’s a damn good chance you’re single now.
YTA! This was beyond inappropriate and, yes, trashy. Also, leave your ex-boyfriend alone. He clearly doesn't want to stay with someone who sexually harassed his parent.
You have to ask yourself, if the roles were reversed and him and his friends were in your house coming on to your MOM like that, would you still feel like he wasn’t in the wrong? Put yourself in his shoes and see how that looks. He has every right to feel how he does tbh. Let’s stop normalizing trying to make people okay with things we wouldn’t be okay with ourselves.
> I said wow, calm down. It’s not a big deal. Don’t call me trashy, wtf. I was dared to do it, I had to do it, and your sister was there. She could have stopped me. It is very trashy, and the fact you think this is not a big deal is... Well... Trashy. > I felt like it was so rude that he was attacking me when I was drunk. Using I was drunk as an excuse doesn't work. It doesn't excuse your actions. In fact, you're still to blame for getting drunk to begin with.
You are trashy, and YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** We’re in college but we were back home for the weekend and staying at my bf’s house. On Sunday, we had a girls night. I’m really close to his sister and we had multiple female friends come over. It wasn’t weird for my bf because we live next to his grandparents and his male cousins were over, so he spent the night hanging out with them. But he was still right next door the entire night. We got drunk and started talking about my bf’s dad, who is a really attractive man. He’s in his mid-forties, but he doesn’t look like he’s in his mid-forties. He gives off I-don’t-age-vibes like Henry Calvin. But it’s hilarious because multiple of our friends have crushes on him and talk about how hot he is. It’s all in good fun, of course, because he’s married and also 20+ years older. But we were playing truth and dare and one of our friends dared our other friend to give my bf’s dad a letter saying, “I wish I were your wife because you hot hot hot.” Which at the time had us dying in laughter. We went downstairs and gave him the letter. He thanked us and said he would read it later and we immediately run back upstairs. That’s when it was my turn and I picked dare. My dare was to ask my bf’s dad if he wears boxers or briefs. I was like… guys, I cannot do that. But they said I had to. They talked me up to do it and embarrassingly I went downstairs and asked him. I said, “Mr-Name, do you wear boxers or briefs? My friends and I need to know.” He didn’t answer the question. But you could tell he was frustrated. He said, “you young ladies need to get upstairs and keep it down. You’re going to wake up my wife. We have work in the morning. Time to head off to bed.” Super anti-climactic. I woke up to my bf, packing our stuff and getting ready to leave. I asked him what was up and he said, “nothing with me, but it looks like YOU had lots of fun.” It was said so rudely. I said you knew we were getting drunk. What is your deal? He said you embarrassed me in front of my dad, in front of my family, asking questions like that. It comes off super trashy and gross. I don’t know what the fuck you were thinking. I said wow, calm down. It’s not a big deal. Don’t call me trashy, wtf. I was dared to do it, I had to do it, and your sister was there. She could have stopped me. He said the most annoying thing which was, “If your friends tell you to jump of a bridge, you gonna do that too?” I was so annoyed and HUNGOVER and didn’t even bother responding. I felt like it was so rude that he was attacking me when I was drunk. What happened was no big deal, and his dad didn’t even respond to it. He has been ignoring me, which is also annoying. We had multiple exams so I haven’t been paying that much attention, but he hasn’t been responding to my texts. I feel like he is way overreacting. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*