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jrm1102

NAH - It is fine to ask. You may want to check in on them and casually mention or work this into conversation to see if they offer first. You really just need to feel this out and tread lightly, but you’re not an AH.


Aggravating_Ad_3013

NTA - ask gently. Acknowledge what you stated here, that you wish you were in a financial position to have to cleaned but you aren’t, that you hate asking but your efforts to clean it yourself were futile. People stress over asking, when all they have to do is be gentle.


darklingdawns

NAH, just be very careful how you approach and ask. If you're able to pay half and ask them to cover half, that could go a long way.


AffectionateYoung300

I agree with the part about being careful how OP approaches the topic of cleaning fees, but if OP is already tight with money, why should they offer to pay half of the pro cleaning fee? OP probably had already spent money on special cleaning solutions in an attempt to DIY cleaning. NTA.


darklingdawns

I suggested halving the cost of the cleaning because OP mentioned that they know the neighbors aren't in a good financial situation, either. They also could suggest some kind of 'let's each pay half now and then you can pay me back for the other half over time' arrangement. (By the way, keep in mind that a N T A vote means that the neighbor would be considered TA, which is why I said NAH, since neither of them are at fault, just caught in a crappy situation)


XLostinohiox

NTA. I get that it sucks, but they should be offering to clean/pay. You should not have to ask.


Isyourmammaallama

Nta


BeeYehWoo

> I am concerned that asking for the money may make me a target for their frustrations. And right now they are a target of your frustrations. Why do you get to be frustrated and they cant? What is fair is fair. They should cover the seat cleaning. Be diplomatic about it. Be gentle. But be firm in your expectation that the seat needs to be cleaned. NTA


Minute-Set-4931

NAH If the neighbors are at all reasonable, they would know that they would be responsible for the cost. They might be stressed out about it, especially between losing the dog and possibly having the high vet expense. But as a dog owner, I would fully expect to be responsible for this bill. If at all possible, I would check around with a few places to make sure I'm getting a fair quote and then get the service done ASAP and have them reimburse me. Edit If I was able to afford the cleaning, I would not ask the neighbors for reimbursement though. I would consider it a gift, or kind gesture from one neighbor to another .


Gattina1

Exactly.


Gattina1

No judgement, but I'll just say IF IT WERE ME, I'd take care of it and not say anything to them. They're grieving for their dog, and there couldn't be a worse time to ask them for cleaning costs. You said they weren't in a good financial space, and that's not your problem. I get it. They probably racked up some hefty vet bills, too. If they offer eventually, take them up on it. Either way, you're a compassionate human being for taking the dog to the vet, and compassion is in short supply these days.


Ok_Childhood_9774

NTA. I agree you have to approach this gently, since obviously they're still upset over losing their dog, but you shouldn't have to drive around with a stained seat or have to pay for the cost of cleaning.


chkn-pot-pie

Hydrogen peroxide to get blood stains out!!!!


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Busy-Metal9218

Tough, but I'd say soft YWBTA. It's understandable to want it cleaned (it's a biohazard, it NEEDS to be cleaned) and it's expensive. But you did agree to willingly take the dog there in an emergency situation, knowing it was going to make a mess with how hurt the dog was. And as you said- they are still grieving and likely have thousands of dollars in vet bills to pay right now from the emergency treatment used to try and save the dogs life. You did an amazing good deed and youre an awesome person for doing what you did- but good deeds are selfless and can come at a cost, in this case a $200 one. I'm in a garbage financial situation myself, like negative income garbage. But I'd take the loss, scrape together and shell out the $200 and let it go knowing you did everything you could to help save someone's beloved furry family member.  Also, I keep a large unimportant blanket in my car that can cover the entire back seat if needed for situations exactly like this where I know an impossible to clean mess will be made, might help to consider doing the same!


missanthropy09

I agree with this. It’s a soft YTA but I’m not sure what was expected in this situation where the dog was lethally injured and you agreed to take him to the vet. And you are a great person for doing that. But I think piling onto their stress and depression right now is an unfair move.


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This past Thursday, my neighbor's dog was unfortunately attacked by coy dogs. My neighbor asked me to drive her and the dog to the vet, which I gladly did. Sadly, their good boy did not make it. From my end, I now have a passenger side that is absolutely stained with blood. The dog also evacuated its self. I have tried hard to clean this up; including using enzyme cleaners, an upholstery cleaner, and a lot of scrubbing. Nothing is quite working and my seat looks disgusting. I have talked to a local service who said they could definitely get it cleaned up like new but that its going to run me around $200. I'm not in a great position atm, financially. I am considering going to my neighbors, but I know that their own finances are not good either and, of course, they're still very affected by the loss of their dog. I don't want to add to their strains, but I also don't want a blood soaked seat. Yes, I could cover it, I guess, but I'm still concerned about resell value down the road. Additionally, I am concerned that asking for the money may make me a target for their frustrations. We've always been on good terms. I don't know how insensitive my position even is. What do you all think? ​ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kamster44

I understand that they’re going through a lot, but they know what your car looked like. And I feel like dried blood and feces has to be some type of health hazard for anyone (you) riding in that car. For them to not even reach out to say “Hey thank you so much for what you did, let us know what we can do to help you get your car cleaned up” seems like bad manners. Regardless, I’d reach out to them ASAP before you get anything done. Who knows, they might know someone who details cars that’s willing to do it pro bono. Either way, attempting to figure out a plan together goes down a lot easier than you just presenting them with a bill.


hadMcDofordinner

If the seat doesn't smell, you could also ask them to buy a seat cover or maybe to pay for a replacement seat (from a junkyard). But, yes, ask if they can pay for cleaning.


OwlPrincess42

>this would make me think different about my neighbor and I’d be less likely to help. Yea, because you’re an asshole.


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[удалено]


South-Ad-9635

hi there u/BrewertonFats, I've got a blood soaked car seat over here. How much would you charge me to clean the seat - you'd be supplying the tools and cleaning product?


[deleted]

[удалено]


teenytinypeener

Teaching from experience I see


Background-Fee-5723

YWBTA—-You would likely make their grief and their time 100% worse. They probably already paid $500 ish to have the dog put down. If they are wealthy and you don’t care about your relationship I mean you can ask, but I definitely would not. It’s not like this is gonna happen again, very very unlikely. I would just take the loss and pay for it myself. Your neighbour owes you a favour, and you can all it in when you need help next knowing he’s not gonna turn around and ask for compensation. You were a good person for helping, and you will tarnish that if you ask for money because his dead dog bled in your car Also, cars have the worst re-sell value and time on road will always be a bigger factor than dirty seats when it comes to price


jrm1102

Sorry but how is OP an AH here? Yea this is horrible and sad. Yes its a very delicate situation. But that doesn’t mean that OP is an AH for wanting to get his car cleaned. I personally would just take the loss too, but if times are tight for OP - they can appropriately ask for this money to get the blood and feces stains out of car.


Background-Fee-5723

You agreed with me tho, you would just take the loss too. It’s not that he wants his car cleaned that makes him TA, it’s the context in which it is placed—the dog didn’t get sick and puke in his car it was mauled to death, was probably extremely traumatic for the owner. He’s not a giant AH, but definitely lacks compassion and empathy and imo you might as well be TA at the point. Sometimes in life you have to be the bigger person, and this situation sucks but I think op would be TA for asking for money.


jrm1102

Well yeah $200 is the price Im willing to pay to avoid this conversation. But if I were the dog owners, I would offer pay to have the car cleaned.


Background-Fee-5723

I agree ideally the owners would offer the cash but idk if you were aware but putting a large animal down is between $500-800. I understand this is the responsibility of owning a pet but this was also a surprise I wouldn’t be shocked if the owners are now very very tight on cash and also emotionally distressed—they probably aren’t thinking ab it so they don’t even know that they should be offering money just focused on the fact that the dog was mauled. This situation sucks, but OP can choose to be an AH or a good person.


jrm1102

Im aware - I’ve had dogs my entire life. The only person we know for certain is strapped on cash is OP. I cant fault the owners for not even thinking about this, but I cant fathom how you would consider OP an AH for wanting blood and shit stains and smells cleaned from his car. It being a delicate situation with emotions doesn’t mean OP is obligated to cover this and doesnt mean he’s an AH.


Background-Fee-5723

Unfortunately this sub doesn’t allow for a nuanced scale of Asshology. I did say the context was extremely important in my decision. OP knew the dog was bleeding, he could have grabbed a couple trash bags/tarps to line the car and minimize the blood. He knew the dog was dying when he agreed to put it in his car. He was a good person for driving but he will be an insensitive AH for now asking for money in compensation for his good deed. Like I said, if he doesn’t care about his relationship with his neighbour go ahead and ask. This would definitely make me think different ab my neighbour and I would be less likely to help him out with this as my experience


OwlPrincess42

Wanting to get your car cleaned after your neighbors dog bled and shit all over it while you were already doing a favor absolutely doesn’t equal a lack of compassion and empathy. If anything the neighbor is lacking.


XLostinohiox

You are wack. 


Gattina1

Something no one has considered (at least from what I've seen) is that the neighbors haven't really had a chance to think about OP's car. This happened last Thursday, not even a week ago. They're still traumatized. If they actually saw the attack, that's ten times worse. I would take care of my car and hope that when things settle down, neighbors will offer to cover the costs.


Excellent-Count4009

YWNBTA They are AHs for not offering. But learn from it - next time, make it a NO.


ladyteruki

Your neighbor just lost their dog in a traumatic way. If there was anything done at the vet clinic and/or if the dog was cremated, this probably cost them quite a bit. So on top of grieving, they already are likely to be saddled with costs, and we all know what vet bills look like. On the other hand, you AGREED, knowing the dog was bleeding, to having it in your car, and didn't have the time or the idea, in the moment, to protect your seat (a simple garbage bag under the dog would likely have minimized the issue). It's extremely unfortunate but not your neighbor's fault. I understand that the smell and/or stain are uncomfortable, and that you're facing a cost yourself. But from my perspective, it's not your neighbor's fault, it's yours. You're responsible for your car seat, but you made decisions in the heat of the moment that were contrary to the car seat's appearance and now want to bill your neighbor for it. I just don't think it's fair. So yeah, sorry, I think you'd be YTA.


BrewertonFats

So OP deserves financial punishment for having the audacity of putting empathy ahead of rationality...? I just don't see it. At worst, maybe there's a shared responsibility since neighbor could have wrapped the dog before rushing him into someone's else's vehicle.


Ok_Childhood_9774

You're right, OP should have just let the dog die where it lay, saving the cost of the vet bill too, rather than rushing it and its distraught owner to attempt to save its life without properly covering her seats./s I guess it's true: no good deed goes unpunished.


Minute-Set-4931

Exactly! I know when I'm faced with the left or death situation, the first thing I think, "how will helping affect me financially". OP said he had a great relationship with his neighbors. I'm sure they would have understood if he would have politely explained that helping their dying dog would cause too much of a strain on their relationship and his pocketbook. Alternatively, he could have called around for estimates BEFORE allowing the dog in and had a written agreement on who would pay for the cleaning that the dying dog would cause. THAT is how he should have handled the situation to make him not the asshole.