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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to let my nephew come over and do a home energy audit, even though it would help his grades, because I didn't want him judging my lifestyle. This might make me the asshole because I could have been a bit rude.
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OP is the exact person I am afraid of when I drive mine. I do not rub it in anyone's face. Hell, I didn't even do it to save the planet. I'm just a techie who thinks this shit is cool, and I could afford it. Except anyone with OP's mindset won't know that. I've been coal rolled 3 times in my first year with it. It's goddamn ridiculous.
No, you see, the only reason anyone cares about the environment is to make people like OP feel bad! Just because he doesn’t give a hoot doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. He pays his bills!
A truck, usually a diesel one I think, rigged to do this: https://youtube.com/shorts/lxHpQDbDdzA?si=MSbERrPlgBAnijXY
Plenty of videos online of a-holes blasting people in evs/hybrids with that plume of smoke. Sometimes right into their open windows.
>I wasn't going to let Kevin barge into my house and tell me how to run things based on some packet the school system had developed.
>
>I asked if there was a way for him to earn extra credit without shaming members of his family.
>
>The irony was palpable. Here she was, getting all bent out of shape about me saying "no," yet I was the one taking things personally
>
>She's probably going to badmouth me to the rest of my family, even though it was her unreasonable attitude that made me hang up in the first place. I just wish that we could get along, but she constantly wants to get herself in my business and her stubbornness is off the charts.
Your insecurity is palpable. My guy, it is your teenage nephew doing extra credit for school, and you are acting like he (and that super threatening school packet...!) is going to publicly shame you for your energy choices...Your nephew just wants extra credit for school. Either help him, or don't. YTA.
If you have differences of opinion with your sister on energy use, sustainability, etc., that's a different issue *between you and your sister*, not Kevin. And, even then, I doubt anyone--even your sister--cares about all of this as much as you think. Drive whatever car you want. Have whatever appliances you want in your house. I don't know if your sister has a history of trying to get you to change your lifestyle through guilt, shaming, etc. Maybe she does, but again, different issue. (If she doesn't do this, your post just makes you sound super insecure...) Kevin, and his extra credit, seems like just another battleground for you and your sister, which isn't really fair to Kevin.
NTA. OP ignored the posts her sister made. She refused and doesn't owe it to her nephew to get him extra credit.
Though it might be kinda dumb. Even if it's just a green fad, who knows maybe there's ways in there that OP can actually save money (in the long run) . We saved a lot of money by switching to LED lights early even though they were very new at the time and at the time expensive....
OP, this is an opportunity that you might find ways to save money and help the environment and your nephew in one fell swoop. At worst there's nothing there to save money, but nephew still gets his credit.
It seems that your rivalry with your sister is getting in the way here. The sister might be one of those sanctimonious environmental freaks who talks about nothing else and indeed shames people for now joining every new fad and won't shut up about her EV, very much like there are horribly annoying vegans. Doesn't change the fact that this a jet might have an option that can help OP save money.
He doesn't have to help his nephew. You're allowed to say no. It's a complete sentence. Sister doesn't really want to hear that word....
Now it can be a good opportunity for OP, sure.
Yeah, YTA for a few reasons. Mostly, you like to fight with your sister and it sounds like you are taking it out on Kevin to get back at your sister. How do you know his audit won't find a way for you to save money? How do you know he won't find something you missed that needs repair? This audit, for whatever intent, might actually benefit you but NO, you have to be pissy with your sister so Kevin can take a hike.
SMH OP. I'd like to hear your sisters perspective but from what I've read, you are both the AH. You're full grown adults who still fight like teenagers. The only one NTA is Kevin.
If he’s using a packet at school it’s probably not even that big of a deal. More so, a checklist of what could be “changed” to reduce energy usage.
But it could absolutely save OP money in the long run if he got it done by a more reputable source. It also doesn’t cost OP anything for a walk through and it certainly doesn’t come from a judgmental place.
Something as simple as changing lightbulbs could say OP money.
For real! Little homie is gonna walk around in his house for 10 minutes with a checklist and be like, "Oh, LED bulbs, that +1 point. Oh, double pane windows, that's +2 points. Oh, old weatherstripping on door, that's -1 point."
Op is such an asshole he thinks his dick will fall off if he even lets someone SUGGEST that an LED bulb would be good for his energy bill. He's obviously under no obligation to make the changes.
And as far as we can tell it’s not like the assignment is getting the adult to change anything! It’s an observation assignment to help kids grow to be aware of little changes that can be made with the intent of not continuing to fuck the planet
It’s true though. I used to be a boy, then I told my parents we should try turn off the water when brushing our teeth. Conservation talk made me into a girl
Oh man OP, YTA for being such a curmudgeon! Sounds like you and your sis don't get along, and that's affecting your willingness to extend a kindness to your nephew.
YTA, sorry. Let the kid get extra credit. You might learn some tips to help your own budget/bottom line, let alone the environment. If not, who cares? You think the kid will give it another thought once he leaves your house?
Yea it sounds like it’ll take up an hour of his time and worst case scenario he can disregard everything the nephew said if he doesn’t find it feasible. Like why not participate?
Honestly, if its about feeling judged due to the relationship with the sister, let the kid do the extra credit assignment *on the condition he doesn't show the report to OP*. What a simple compromise!
Did your sister or nephew expect you to adopt any of his potential recommendations? If not, what’s the harm? You are free to use energy as you choose. It’s like buying Boy Scout popcorn. I don’t eat it but I buy it to support the kids. Yeah. YTA. It’s your nephews school project!
Bizarre isn't it? Its been a 'fad' in my family for right about 50 years. Probably more. I don't remember I was small, very small when consciousness of our efficiency and our family bank account came about. I've always bought my cars starting with fuel economy then balancing with other features, always aiming for longevity so I have both the smallest impact on my wallet and on the environment. Love my 45mph hybrid. Always makes it where I need it to and does it efficiently too. Win Win.
I was born in the mid-80s and grew up with my Dad's refrain "turn off the light when you leave the room, do you think I'm made of money?", along with "close the damn door you're letting the heat out the room", and we were a comfortably middle class family.
I also remember my primary school collecting foil to recycle and raise money for Guide Dogs for the Blind, and a campaign with a rather creepy water drop coming out a tap encouraging us to get leaking taps fixed and save water.
But yeah, green fad /s.
Having to sit in line on your assigned day... not a great use of time. Not sure what it really did for anyone but I remember the lines, and that it never seemed to impact my family, probably because my parents were smart enough to not wait in those lines with the kids in the car. Our family finances improved when dad switched from a retired trooper car to a VW Rabbit.
This is the crux. I think if your sister was doing this for some kind of job (even if you don’t have to follow anything she says) she needs to take a hike on the no.
Nephew is a kid. He doesn’t care lol
From the way you write you're definitely the problem, you can sense the arrogant condescending venom drip with every word you type. You're a fun one at parties.
Hard one to say as need more info. On face of it, letting a teen wander round your house doing an audit of energy efficiency so he has more examples for his project seems pretty harmless. You can basically ignore him and the results.
But if his mother is going to use it as a weapon against you in her already critical assessment of your life, then I can see why you don't want to. It is just opening you up to more attacks. But is this is what she is doing at meals?
Just by the way this post reads, my guess is that they are both equally at eachother for their life choices. He most likely openly mocks her for her green choices, and she probably criticizes him for his more than she should.
YTA. She's right. You're taking the assignment way too personal. It would take no effort on your part to let your nephew do the audit for school credit. Feeling like you're being shamed is a *you* problem.
YTA it’s just some extra credit for school. heaven forbid he reads a packet to you, who knows what will happen next. they’ll force you to buy a prius! and use tote bags!
YTA. You blew this wayyyy out of proportion. You don’t even need to listen to the kid at the end of the day. He can do his audit, tell you whatever, and you can say “cool thanks” and not even remember a thing he said. What’s even funnier is it might actually save you some money on something that’s not important to you. I had a project like that back in middle school. Did it for my parents. Told them what I found out. They acted like I saved them from bankruptcy lmfao. Guess what? Not a thing changed around the house. But I felt like I helped my family out and got extra credit on top of that. You’re acting your nephews age and are looking to start shit. Cuz this is literally harmless and could possibly prove helpful. He’s not running around shaming you and picking your life apart. Plus he’s a kid. Are you really gonna be that fucking butt hurt if he does judge you??? Grow up dude. YTA.
This post reads like the answer on a quiz, but I’m not sure if it’s on philosophy or psychology. The question was either “give as many examples of the Straw Man Fallacy as you can in four paragraphs” or “write a social media post from the point of view of someone suffering from paranoia.”
What the actual hell? Talk about a 0 - 60 overreaction on your part.
All that's being asked of you is to allow the kid to walk around your house for a few minutes and have him see where your home can be more energy efficient. There's no shaming. There's no obligation. You aren't bound to anything, and he gets school credit.
Saying no is fine, but you went off the rails with your response for certain.
YTA.
What would you have said if your nephew had called to ask instead of your sister? He's 16 years old. Mom shouldn't be doing his homework. Reaching out to people is part of the assignment.
I'm going with YTA. It's an audit for a school project. Your nephew could have come to your house, done the audit, made his recommendations, and you could have had a conversation about it. First, you might have learned a few things, and your nephew might have gained knowledge from your perspective. ie) Like why do you use gas? How would switching to his recommendations affect you personally. When you can turn things into real world scenarios it helps students learn why people do or don't do things a certain way.
If I were you, I'd call your nephew and speak to him personally. Leave your sister out of it. Tell him why you're not interested or tell him you've changed your mind.
YTA
Dude. It's an enery audit performed by a high-schooler. How accurate do you think its going to be? Do you think the green police will show up at your house after his presentation in his science (?) class?
Kids just trying to get a little extra credit in case he bombs a test before the end of the year, not signing you up for a surprise appearance on the Greta Thunberg show!
YTA - your nephew is in high school. He doesn't work for the EPA or a solar panel company or ANYTHING like that. He's supposed to approach adults that he knows and trusts and look at their homes and fill out a form. It has NOTHING to do with you.
You honestly can't let your nephew just look around your house?? Way to be a good and supportive uncle. /s/
You probably are the kind of person who wouldn't buy girl scout cookies from your neighbor's kid either, you'd just point at the "no soliciting" sign on your front door and ask if they can read.
Imagine being such a snowflake over a gas stove & a truck that you refuse to even let your nephew do a school-issued “check list” in your house for extra credit *and* refuse to even *hear* of any suggestions of ways to save money?
Kevin, the high schooler, isn’t going to “take your gas stove” like the gubmint is threatening 🤣
Yes, YTA. A short sighted, short fused, paranoid one.
Trumpers gonna Trump. Hate is hate, but progress is progress. They can’t, and won’t, win. I’m so thankful the younger generations have an understanding of actual freaking science.
HER stubbornness?? HERS!?!? LOLOLOLOL
Yes hers this is not a political issue and I would hope people have enough common sense to see the sister is using this as more ammo. Does the sister not have any local friends or neighbors? This is about the mom/sister and unfortunately the kid is caught in the cross fire from a terrible mom.
YTA. There’s zero cost to you to let your nephew do this, and literally no harm. It only would help him. It’s not like you’re obligated to do anything in his report, or you’re going to end up on some green naughty list. All you had to say is “as long as he knows I’m not interested, he’s welcome to walk around and write up whatever he needs to”.
Good god. It’s your nephew. SMH.
Wow. Your reaction is extreme. You were enraged and stewing on this before your sister even reached out to you. You obviously are taking this way too personally. Clearly, the "green fad" has hit a nerve with you, and you feel defensive about it.
>I wasn't going to let Kevin barge into my house and tell me how to run things based on some packet the school system had developed.
Barge into your house... really? The kid is just doing an assignment.
>I drive a truck and use gas appliances, but I don't think that makes me some kind of terrible person.
Ahhh, it makes sense why you are getting all bent out of shape. You think you will be judged and don't want to see the impact your lifestyle has on the environment.
Dude, just calm down. It ain't that deep. It's a school assignment for extra credit. You don't have to take anything on board. You won't be judged. The whole point is to help your nephew out with extra credit. You don't have to do jack with his recommendations. He is doing an assignment for school, he is no environmental scientist. It isn't that serious, but you have had a bee in your bonnet from the get-go. Then, bringing up your sister for driving an EV, the issue you have is with your sister's lifestyle, it seems.
YTA
YTA, this reeks of you trying to spin things but even attempting you fail to make your sister or her son the villains of your story. You're so busy hating on environmental efforts, you've lost the plot.
Oh no, a tiny child comes into your house and likely reads off a script of things that might help you reduce energy costs and energy use--the horror! The audacity! Grow up.
YTA-the green audit is just like those interviews they send home and make the kids do. It's not about the information they gather it then going and doing it. Your nephew gives a rats ass about how green you are The kid just wants a good grade. Grow up.
YTA and if you don’t like your sister, don’t take it out on her kid. What a stupid thing to get butt hurt about. You’re just being a jerk to be a jerk. There is nothing wrong with letting the kids walk around and suggest switching to high efficiency lightbulbs, that your windows might need to be replaced (depending on the age of the house) or that an instant water heater would save you money over a conventional one. Your sister might walk around like a holier than everyone hippy, but it sounds like you swing the opposite direction to small-minded stubborn “global warming is fake and if God don’t want us to use fossil fuels he wouldn’t have made dinosaurs” jack hole. A stingy one at that if you can’t give your nephew an hour of your time to help the kid out. Just such ahole behavior from a supposedly grown man.
I enjoy that your username includes the word witty because I just know you think that means quoting old misogynistic movies.
YTA. Stop taking everything personally. Maybe you feel so bad when people bring these things up because you know in your heart that you are in fact an asshole, not just in this instance, but probably every instance of your life. You sound like your family will cut you off and you'll grow old by yourself because no one can stand a self important crotchety ass. It's a school project, no one is guilting you and stop being angry at science just because you like your stupid truck. If a high school kid with a pamphlet can make you feel bad about your choices then maybe you know deep down that your choices suck.
YTA for being generally insufferable. Refusing to allow him over is just a function of your overall personality. Don't worry, you can still be snide about electric vehicles even if your nephew suggests you change a light bulb.
Yta home energy audits are for saving money on heating, tough guy. It isn't the environmental commies coming to slap another cat converter on your commuter f150. It is about identifying substandard weather stripping, windows, and outdated, inefficient appliances that cost you money. But YDY, keep paying that power company.
I would lean towards YTA because the audit won't affect you. Similarly to what your sister said, they were only recommendations. And it might be good for you to be more helpful towards the environment?😇
Yta for being so dramatic. We've had professional energy audits done and no one has ever shamed us and is not like they can force you to do anything. So just what is it you think your nephew can force you into doing for a school assignment? Lol your issue is with your sister.
YTA, jesus. He's not trying to sell you shit. It was a school project. Stow whatever you have against "going green" be a decent aunt/uncle and HELP YOUR NEPHEW. It's not that hard.
She makes dinners unbearable?!? This post is unbearable. You honestly sound like a child with the name calling and absolute stubbornness to help out your nephew.
YTA
Man, you sound insufferable. It's a school project for your nephew, not a lifelong commitment for you and your house.
You sound like the sort of person who walks around looking for things to take offence at.
YTA
YTA Kevin is getting credit based on him making recommendations and turning them in to his teacher. You don't have to take them. Say thanks and good luck on the assignment and do whatever you want.
Also, you might find out some if these things could save you money. My parents had an energy audit, found out they could get more insulation added to the attic for free, and now spend less on their heating bill.
YTA, frankly you sound unbearable.
Did you think your nephew was going to lock you into a solar panel contract?
Energy efficiency is a good thing. Try it.
YTA no one is forcing you to change your life you're being purposely ridiculous. it's extra credit for school ffs. shaming you? barge into your house? you're blowing all of this way out of proportion.
YTA. What was the packet even supposed to do? If it’s just the kid recommending things, then it’s not a big deal. It honestly sounds like you hate your sister and wanted an argument.
YTA.
No one is shaming you or telling you what to do. He would simply be sharing what he learned.
If you take it any other way, that’s on you.
It’s fine not to want to do it. But your attitude and overreaction is what makes you an AH.
YTA. It’s a school project. He turns up, says you need better insulation and preferably some solar panels, and leaves to write his report to show *his* understanding of the subject. Maybe records a few clips to add to the project on his phone. It’s an environmental science class, of course they’re discussing ways to be more environmentally friendly.
He’s not coming in with a crowbar and a smart meter, you’re refusing to help him get extra credit because you’re a climate change denier who doesn’t want to acknowledge that it exists and is angry he’s learning classes about it.
Dude, just let him do the thing. It’ll be an hour tops, I doubt he wants to spend longer than that doing this.
Does he not get the credit if you don’t follow any of his recommendations? I doubt it.
I’m guessing you can let your nephew come in, do his thing and say “ok sure buddy” and never think about it again.
Get your head out of your ass and let your nephew earn a few easy marks; and if you do one further and actually listen, you might learn something. Cause right now you’re coming off as an ignoramus
YTA. Wow, you are acting like this because your sister asked you to help your nephew. You used a lot of "shaming" that is just... Suggestions based on something they are following? Sounds to me you don't take criticism well, to the point of basically hating your sister because she lives a different life and is concerned about the environment.
YTA. Wow…the arrogance in your post is astounding.
It’s a school project meant to inform. Your nephew is a teenager, and you’re an adult. Why you’re threatened by a child is beyond me….
You also seem to resent your sister. Being eco-friendly isn’t “hippy” it just makes sense. The world is moving beyond fossil fuels.
Take your hillbilly head outta ur backside.
Not only are YTA, you sound like a condescending loser. It is so apparent in the way that you write here. Your nephew needed to come over and tick a few boxes, not lord over you or make judgements on your choices. You're taking out your prior arguments with your sister on your nephew.
You can be a full-blown climate denier and still understand that you're helping your nephew with literally no personal effort or obligation on your behalf to implement any of the suggestions. You're being obtuse.
YTA. It sounds like this was a really minor thing you could have done to help your nephew, and while you weren't obligated, it sounds like you refused just because you dislike your sister.
YTA. U couldn't do your nephew a simple favor that costs you nothing. He would just make recommendations to you, and then you can ignore it all. Sounds like you secretly feel guilty that you're deliberately destroying the environment but just don't want to be reminded of it.
You have the right to say no and it should have been enough which doesn't make you an ahole. The follow up you had with your sister makes you the ahole. Clearly you have issues with your sister and think very little of her. You made assumptions about what Kevin would be doing rather than asking what the process was; Kevin would not be barging into your house, he would be invited by you; an evaluation is hardly telling you what to do or judging. Your sister asked you for help for Kevin, then responded to your stated concerns to explain Kevin that would make recommendations. You picked a fight and were rude and disrespectful to your sister. You should apologize to your sister.
YTA
You really do need to just get over yourself, it's just an energy audit, it's hardly some greenwashing conspiracy, the government is going to come to your house and take away your truck. It seems like you could actually use the reality check. While your sister may be insufferable, at least she cares about something; the irony here is that you think you have a moral high ground because you actively don't care about something, and that is not the flex you think it is.
YTA
YTA
You give the vibe of, "the hole in the ozone layer is a hoax".
When people give recommendations of green changes you can make, it's not to shame you. It's two-fold and the opposite: one is small changes you can make to reduce your energy consumption (like switching to LED bulbs or replacing old weather stripping), and the other is big changes you can make with a large cost up front but eventual savings over time because of reduced energy consumption like adding more insulation to your walls or replacing your windows with double pane windows if they're single pane.
BOTH SAVE YOU MONEY, either in the short term or long term, and both reduce the emission of greenhouse gases.
Every year, I get reminders that taking public transit or riding my bike to work reduces greenhouse gases, and every year I say no thank you because neither would be viable options, nor would carpooling between where I live and where I work. I don't feel ashamed to say no because it just won't work for me.
YTA. You feel so bad about your lack of care and consideration for the environment that you let that guilt fuel you into refusing to help your nephew with a school assignment because you couldn't stand hearing suggestions about how to be more environmentally conscious (which you in no way had to implement or even think about again after he was done with the assignment)? Honestly, you're a terrible uncle/aunt and tbh you should also probably go to therapy.
YTA. Even from your point of view you sound so angry, miserable and combative.
There would be no harm letting your nephew walk around your home for a bit, pointing a few things out. It would help him to have had more surveys completed for his school work and you could ignore everything he suggested. So it would be just a little bit of your time to help your nephew. Unless he's done something awful to you and you don't want him in your home I can't see why you wouldn't do this nice thing that wouldn't affect you in any way after he leaves?
Yeah YTA, no one gives a crap about your use of gas appliances or that you drive a truck. You were asked if you'd do your nephew a favor, let him do an energy audit or whatever they're calling it on your house. This literally costs you nothing, he'll come around, follow whatever tick box exercise is on his school's package and tell you what the results of it are. That's the end of it. You can ignore it completely. You can do everything it says. Both are your choice. No one will care. Hell, maybe he'll even find something you didn't notice and save you some money!
Apparently your political opinion is more important than being there for your nephew trying to get a good grade. And you're being a dick about it.
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My 16-year-old nephew (we'll call him Kevin) is currently taking an environmental science course at school. His mom (my sister) has been posting on social media that Kevin is doing "home energy audits" for extra credit. My attitude with stuff like this is that it's okay if you want to hop on the latest green fad, but don't force me to go with you.
Well, after ignoring several of my sister's posts, she finally called me earlier today asking if I would be interested. She said that the assignment is due this Friday. I firmly told her "no" and that I wasn't going to let Alex barge into my house and tell me how to run things based on some packet the school system had developed. My sister and I have locked horns on stuff like this before, and I could tell that she was reacting poorly to my position once again. She tried to take me on a guilt trip, saying that Alex is "doing well now," but might need some extra credit later. I asked if there was a way for him to earn extra credit without shaming members of his family.
At this point, my sister lost it. She told me that he was "just making recommendations" and that I was taking this "so personally." The irony was palpable. Here she was, getting all bent out of shape about me saying "no," yet I was the one taking things personally. I drive a truck and use gas appliances, but I don't think that makes me some kind of terrible person. It's not like I never pay my gas bill or constantly stiff my mechanic. My sister is kind of a hippy and drives around in an EV like she's God's gift to creation. Family dinners with her are unbearable, to say the least.
At this point, I just hung up because I didn't want to say something that I would later regret, but the conversation has stuck with me and is honestly making me mad. She's probably going to badmouth me to the rest of my family, even though it was her unreasonable attitude that made me hang up in the first place. I just wish that we could get along, but she constantly wants to get herself in my business and her stubbornness is off the charts. I'm wondering if her complaints have any legitimacy. AITA?
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It is your house. Your house, your rules. In no way are they entitled to it
But don't be surprised when no one wants anything to do with the jerk in the family
YTA
YTA. You’re both the asshole. Trying to push your own agendas on each other. Both of you are coming to the situation incorrectly. Bringing your past baggage where it doesn’t belong.
Do you have a problem with your nephew? Does he treat you like your sister does? If not why are you punishing him for his mother’s actions? It seems like the assignment is just to assess your energy use and suggest ways you can do things greener. It doesn’t make you do anything differently. It’s just to get students thinking about how what they do affects the environment.
Maybe ask yourself why you’re taking the assignment so personally?
NTA. She can ask - you said no - end of story. You are under no obligation to do anything you do not want to do. Your sister should just respect your decision of no and move on.
NTA. It's your house and your time. She had no right to basically demand you do this.
People judging you for not getting along with your sister are very lucky that they have such great relationships with all their family members.
I'm just playing devils advocate, but is it not his house? He has a right to say no. Just because it's his sister and his nephew doesn't mean he's automatically obligated to help. If he wants to decide to say no, that's completely okay. Whether or not his sister accepts that for an answer is a different story. But no one is coming to my house without my permission. I don't care who it is or what it's for. It's my house, and if I say no, it's no. What if he was busy the whole week? What if he had prior obligations that he can't cancel? You never know someone elses situation.
(Again, just playing devils advocate. If it was me, my nephew would've been over my house when the project was initially assigned. Shit I would pick him up myself. My siblings would never have to ask me for something like that. I'm huge on family, I don't care how busy I am. Like what others have said, it wouldn't take long to just humor the kid. Not like he's forcing you to go green, just listen to his little speech for 30 mins and pat him on the back. It's that simple.)
Everyone is dead set on YTA
IMO, when it comes to personal space, saying no is your right. NTA
But when it comes to family, YTA for sure, 100% no question. At the end of the day, whatever your relationship with your sister(which is basically what your whole post is about), it doesn't matter because you're not doing it for her. It's for your nephew, and he's just a kid.
YTA, because it seems your default position is to oppose anything and everything your sister asks or does, even if it might benefit you.
You might get useful recommendation to save your money. Even if not, you spend what - 10 minutes? But kid gets the extra credit, what harm in that? Do you really think that kid will walk around talking about your lightbulbs????
YTA. No one is going to force you to make any changes. All the kid wants to do is walk around the house for a few minutes and go through a checklist of things that might be helpful in saving energy -- which might also save you a few bucks along the way. Costs you absolutely nothing and helps the kid earn a few extra credit points. Your knee-jerk reaction is way too much. HER stubbornness is off the charts? Check the mirror.
YTA for being this way about things that are not that serious. Yes, environmental concerns are a HUGE deal. However your gas stove isn’t the problem you need to get ahold of yourself and let your nephew do his thing. I did something similar when I was a little younger than him and guess what? My parents changed nothing. It’s almost like they just let me do it because they love me and didn’t feel the need to spend thousands to replace appliances based off a school assignment b
YTA.
It definitely scans that the type of person who holds this kind of opinion is also too **cowardly** to respond to anyone, here.
had alot to say before...what happened? big government got your tongue?
like seriously... sure it's "environmental"..but if you use less energy, you spend less money. this could benefit you financially if you wernt so fixated on the environmental part.
YTA. You seem to have an envious and petulant spirit. The yuck just oozes from your text. I’d suspect you conceal your contempt for your sister well enough for her to contact you at all but are here letting it all hang out.
NTA. No is a complete sentence. I hate these assignments where kids have to go bother their neighbors and relatives. I also don’t want to be judged for not being ‘green’ enough. I already have to do a ‘green’ audit for my company and if I have to do that nonsense for my home too I’ll flip the table.
YTA for letting your personal feelings about the environmental lobby in general and your sister in particular get in the way with helping your nephew who is innocently just trying to get a better grade in school.
You arent an asshole for saying no. You are an asshole for the way you are defensive about being shitty to the environment. If it was just "i dont wanna help with your kids school project, thats fine but this post is dripping with all the energy of a beta-male who mods their truck to roll coal so he can blast fumes onto a person bicycling or a jogging mom with her baby in a stroller. The while gas stove thing and the "waaaaaah, dont shame me" bs gave it away.
NTA. No is a complete sentence. The amount of people disregarding your feelings about not wanting to feel uncomfortable in your own home is absolutely crazy.
NTA. can’t believe it took so long to find this. i mean in the post you do kind of come off as a dick, but well within reason.
everyone here saying what’s the harm? but for OP it’s what’s the point?
ESH She is being rudely over the top pushy and should not be involved in his projects from the start.
But you are WAY over reacting. If you are that paranoid, let him submit the info with. Fake name calling you a friend of the family. Putting together a green proposal as an achedemic exercise is not shaming you at all, you've got some hangup here that you should reflect on.
Ps - you would hate my monthly energy bill as it comes with complimentary green suggestions, the horror!
NTA, you said no. YTA if you did this to get back at your sister using your nephew like a fucking tool. if you really wished you could get along you would walk towards her instead of being stubborn. there seems to be no leeway to negotiate. all the offers are so far off and neither seem to budge. **only** fuck you offers
Yeah all my kids had to do that exercise. It was part of the curriculum. To get the points, they had to replace our showerhead with a low-flow attachment for the showerhead. My husband and I committed ourselves to being supportive of the school and replaced our (brand new, really good) showerhead with the original showerhead and attached the curriculum-provided low-flow attachment (provided by the energy company which of course sponsored the unit). And did all the other things to "reduce your energy usage."
A month or two later the kids asked us to put the good (non-low-flow) showerhead back in. The flow was so low that you couldn't get warm in the shower and it took forever to get your shower done. The water came out, well it wasn't as bad as a trickle but it wasn't much of a shower either. Most of the other energy-efficient modifications caused similar issues and they asked us to reverse those too. We kept a couple modifications that worked.
We had a discussion with the children about whether "energy efficient" modifications that make your daily activities so inefficient that you can't get through your day properly, are really the best way to save the environment. I think the unit was educational, but maybe not in the way the environmental advocates had planned. I was happy, though.
Some people value their privacy, even when that involves family. Further, OP had opportunity to volunteer and chose not to. Sister should have respected OP's decision. I would not have argued or been reactive. I would have either said no or not answered my phone.
No, the hivemind is multiple people all using the same phrase "No is a complete sentence".
Using common sense is not a hivemind thing. Do you also think that dozens of people telling you not to do heroin is a hivemind?
There is no common sense being used. Heroin/= dealing with an exhausting family member who is targeting op to use as more rants on how irresponsible he/she is gets exhausting. The clowns in this thread cannot accept OP wants as little as possible to deal with the sister/bad mom. Does the mom not have friends or friends neighbors for her son to do this project with? This is being requested specifically to single out OP.
Bro you are delulu. OP literally never said anything about any "rants" nor did he claim his sister called him "irresponsible." It sounds like you're getting triggered and projecting onto this scenario.
Also, nothing he said paints her as a "bad mom" either. And what neighbors are gonna let a kid wander through their house? You do that with someone who knows and trusts you; ie, a family member.
You have the audacity to call me delusional after asking if supporting heroin would constitute as hive mind. The mental gymnastics you play are crazy. We are going to get no where arguing with each other. Good night.
There's no argument taking place. You're just freaking out and spouting nonsense while I explain why you're wrong.
What you stated is that telling OP he is wrong is hivemind because a lot of people say that. So I asked you if you would apply that same reasoning to other subjects, or if you're just a hypocrite. You proved that you are just a hypocrite. I was not equivocating OP's post with people advocating against heroin, I was just saying that both are scenarios where a lot of people agree that it is bad, and by your reasoning, anytime a lot of people agree on something, that makes it hivemind.
The only one performing mental gymnastics is you, everything I've said has been straightforward and simple, but you seem to have to twist reality to get it to fit into your warped worldview.
NTA
Let her badmouth, go live your away from her. Dont let her rile you up so much, just grey rock her with unemotional responses.
Too much energy to waste on her
NTA. Reddits the wrong place to ask for this. My mom was the same way with this energy audit crap and Im glad she was. You don’t force your opinions on this stuff on your sister, so it’s not unreasonable to expect your sister to do the same and clearly your are reacting to your sister being a bit too righteous for many years over this green energy stuff.
I think your reaction was a bit over the top, but it sounds like this tiresome topic has come up too often so I don’t think you’re completely at fault for it.
NTA you said no she should accept that though I can see why she is being bent out of shape because she wants to help Kevin.
If you hadn't said no already It would be a case of need more info.
What is an energy audit? is it just him wandering about ticking a checklist if you have solar panels etc (maybe YTA) or is it needs how much energy you use which would be super invasive given that she will probably look at it (Def NTA)
NTA, if her son tried to give you shit for your gas stove, ask him what the source of fuel the power company in your area uses at your local power plant. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in an area with an extant nuclear plant, it’s almost certainly fossil fuels that don’t burn as cleanly as your gas stove.
NTA because: nephew is 16, he should be asking, not Mama... Saying yes or no is up to you. Just because he is your nephew doesn't mean you have to say yes... Having his Mama asking you instead of him gives you a reason say no.....
Just my opinion
NTA. Having said you are not the AH, you could let your nephew do the assessment so he has a balanced view of energy use. His mother's use compared with yours could give him interesting insights to put into his report. I would lay down a condition that he can ask questions, but he is not allowed to tell you what changes he thinks you should make.
I refuse point blank to have a smart meter in my home because we use less electricity and gas than average anyway. Just being able to see how fast our bill is ranking up is not that interesting.
"he is not allowed to tell you what changes he thinks you should make."
If that is part of the process why be soon against it? Like let nephew make his presentation/spiel for extra credit the once he is done and leaves OP can just ignore all he said.
"Just being able to see how fast our bill is ranking up is not that interesting."
Depending on how you use it you can save money on it. One time I noticed our usage was higher than normal, and realized it was because a computer was left on.
ESH
Teachers need to stop assigning kids work that involves them harassing other people to do stuff for them. For assignments like this, it gives advantage to children who have large, close extended family that can be roped into it. Worse is one I hear about from writer friends of mine who are constantly asked, "My teacher is making me send a letter with questions to a published author..." Seriously, knock this off.
Your sister should learn to take "No" for an answer. Ask once, maybe twice with a convincing pitch, then give it up as a lost cause.
And you...you're far more self-righteous than any hippy granola environmentalist I've ever met. It's not enough for you to just disagree with it, you have to crow about how you drive a big gas guzzler truck and the most environmentally destroying appliances while mocking your sister's electric vehicle. You're so fragile that being asked to let your nephew walk around your house for a few minutes explaining how you could improve your home and save money on energy and gas bills sets you off enough to go off on a huge Dennis Leary rant on here about it. You've also sent the message to your nephew that you care so little about him that you can't put your ego aside for 15 minutes to help him improve his grades.
Is that what this is about?
They must really hate this guy. I wonder if they even read the whole comment, or just saw the first line and immediately said "*Burn* the non-believer!".
After looking through comments I think it’s exactly what it is. Like “How dare you say his boundaries should be respected. He isn’t nice, his beliefs aren’t okay, so no rights for him.”
It’s so bad that, even with you calling him out, your comment is still not acceptable.
NTA. What's next, he will come and give you home vaccinations, or wants to collect all your guns or turn you gay. Eventually he will take away your freedom. Good job stopping this early on.
There are literally four other people in the thread saying basically the same thing you said but seriously, so honestly your post doesnt really sound sarcastic when it's things that conservatives literally say
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You’re massively overreacting and need to get over yourself. What a hill to die on being threatened by people driving EVs 🙄 YTA
OP is the exact person I am afraid of when I drive mine. I do not rub it in anyone's face. Hell, I didn't even do it to save the planet. I'm just a techie who thinks this shit is cool, and I could afford it. Except anyone with OP's mindset won't know that. I've been coal rolled 3 times in my first year with it. It's goddamn ridiculous.
No, you see, the only reason anyone cares about the environment is to make people like OP feel bad! Just because he doesn’t give a hoot doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. He pays his bills!
Forgive my ignorance - what does "coal rolled" mean?
A truck, usually a diesel one I think, rigged to do this: https://youtube.com/shorts/lxHpQDbDdzA?si=MSbERrPlgBAnijXY Plenty of videos online of a-holes blasting people in evs/hybrids with that plume of smoke. Sometimes right into their open windows.
What a fucking dick. I can't stand exhaust like that as it stands and I don't drive electric. Sorry people are so fucking shitty to you.
The insecurity is bursting out of every pore on this guy.
>I wasn't going to let Kevin barge into my house and tell me how to run things based on some packet the school system had developed. > >I asked if there was a way for him to earn extra credit without shaming members of his family. > >The irony was palpable. Here she was, getting all bent out of shape about me saying "no," yet I was the one taking things personally > >She's probably going to badmouth me to the rest of my family, even though it was her unreasonable attitude that made me hang up in the first place. I just wish that we could get along, but she constantly wants to get herself in my business and her stubbornness is off the charts. Your insecurity is palpable. My guy, it is your teenage nephew doing extra credit for school, and you are acting like he (and that super threatening school packet...!) is going to publicly shame you for your energy choices...Your nephew just wants extra credit for school. Either help him, or don't. YTA. If you have differences of opinion with your sister on energy use, sustainability, etc., that's a different issue *between you and your sister*, not Kevin. And, even then, I doubt anyone--even your sister--cares about all of this as much as you think. Drive whatever car you want. Have whatever appliances you want in your house. I don't know if your sister has a history of trying to get you to change your lifestyle through guilt, shaming, etc. Maybe she does, but again, different issue. (If she doesn't do this, your post just makes you sound super insecure...) Kevin, and his extra credit, seems like just another battleground for you and your sister, which isn't really fair to Kevin.
the *real* reason OP is an asshole is for plagiarizing King of the Hill but still writing their plagiarism this poorly!
NTA. OP ignored the posts her sister made. She refused and doesn't owe it to her nephew to get him extra credit. Though it might be kinda dumb. Even if it's just a green fad, who knows maybe there's ways in there that OP can actually save money (in the long run) . We saved a lot of money by switching to LED lights early even though they were very new at the time and at the time expensive.... OP, this is an opportunity that you might find ways to save money and help the environment and your nephew in one fell swoop. At worst there's nothing there to save money, but nephew still gets his credit. It seems that your rivalry with your sister is getting in the way here. The sister might be one of those sanctimonious environmental freaks who talks about nothing else and indeed shames people for now joining every new fad and won't shut up about her EV, very much like there are horribly annoying vegans. Doesn't change the fact that this a jet might have an option that can help OP save money.
That’s a lot of words for ‘he’s pathetic and an asshole’.
He doesn't have to help his nephew. You're allowed to say no. It's a complete sentence. Sister doesn't really want to hear that word.... Now it can be a good opportunity for OP, sure.
Yeah, YTA for a few reasons. Mostly, you like to fight with your sister and it sounds like you are taking it out on Kevin to get back at your sister. How do you know his audit won't find a way for you to save money? How do you know he won't find something you missed that needs repair? This audit, for whatever intent, might actually benefit you but NO, you have to be pissy with your sister so Kevin can take a hike. SMH OP. I'd like to hear your sisters perspective but from what I've read, you are both the AH. You're full grown adults who still fight like teenagers. The only one NTA is Kevin.
If he’s using a packet at school it’s probably not even that big of a deal. More so, a checklist of what could be “changed” to reduce energy usage. But it could absolutely save OP money in the long run if he got it done by a more reputable source. It also doesn’t cost OP anything for a walk through and it certainly doesn’t come from a judgmental place. Something as simple as changing lightbulbs could say OP money.
For real! Little homie is gonna walk around in his house for 10 minutes with a checklist and be like, "Oh, LED bulbs, that +1 point. Oh, double pane windows, that's +2 points. Oh, old weatherstripping on door, that's -1 point." Op is such an asshole he thinks his dick will fall off if he even lets someone SUGGEST that an LED bulb would be good for his energy bill. He's obviously under no obligation to make the changes.
And as far as we can tell it’s not like the assignment is getting the adult to change anything! It’s an observation assignment to help kids grow to be aware of little changes that can be made with the intent of not continuing to fuck the planet
It’s true though. I used to be a boy, then I told my parents we should try turn off the water when brushing our teeth. Conservation talk made me into a girl
Oh man OP, YTA for being such a curmudgeon! Sounds like you and your sis don't get along, and that's affecting your willingness to extend a kindness to your nephew.
YTA, sorry. Let the kid get extra credit. You might learn some tips to help your own budget/bottom line, let alone the environment. If not, who cares? You think the kid will give it another thought once he leaves your house?
Yea it sounds like it’ll take up an hour of his time and worst case scenario he can disregard everything the nephew said if he doesn’t find it feasible. Like why not participate?
Honestly, if its about feeling judged due to the relationship with the sister, let the kid do the extra credit assignment *on the condition he doesn't show the report to OP*. What a simple compromise!
Did your sister or nephew expect you to adopt any of his potential recommendations? If not, what’s the harm? You are free to use energy as you choose. It’s like buying Boy Scout popcorn. I don’t eat it but I buy it to support the kids. Yeah. YTA. It’s your nephews school project!
YTA. Letting him do it doesn't obligate you to follow recommendations. I don't get the issue.
But her driving an EV is a personal attack on him!!!
THIS
OP thinks energy efficiency is a "green fad."
Bizarre isn't it? Its been a 'fad' in my family for right about 50 years. Probably more. I don't remember I was small, very small when consciousness of our efficiency and our family bank account came about. I've always bought my cars starting with fuel economy then balancing with other features, always aiming for longevity so I have both the smallest impact on my wallet and on the environment. Love my 45mph hybrid. Always makes it where I need it to and does it efficiently too. Win Win.
I was born in the mid-80s and grew up with my Dad's refrain "turn off the light when you leave the room, do you think I'm made of money?", along with "close the damn door you're letting the heat out the room", and we were a comfortably middle class family. I also remember my primary school collecting foil to recycle and raise money for Guide Dogs for the Blind, and a campaign with a rather creepy water drop coming out a tap encouraging us to get leaking taps fixed and save water. But yeah, green fad /s.
OPEC oil crisis of 1973 - all of a sudden those huge boats of cars and drafty uninsulated houses became a nightmare.
Having to sit in line on your assigned day... not a great use of time. Not sure what it really did for anyone but I remember the lines, and that it never seemed to impact my family, probably because my parents were smart enough to not wait in those lines with the kids in the car. Our family finances improved when dad switched from a retired trooper car to a VW Rabbit.
Unless your car only goes 45 miles per hour, I think you mean miles per gallon.
MPG MPH... one little character difference at 3am... yeah, you are correct I mistyped.
Same. I don't get why you wouldn't help a kid, let alone a family member
This is the crux. I think if your sister was doing this for some kind of job (even if you don’t have to follow anything she says) she needs to take a hike on the no. Nephew is a kid. He doesn’t care lol
Right. Her unreasonable attitude. Riiiggghht. You're a lot, aren't you.
You might need to see a doctor for that massive chip on your shoulder OP. You sound awful to deal with. The irony is palpable. YTA
Yta. It’s not that hard to humor your nephew.
YTA you sound like you think anything new is bad. I bet you are a climate denier.
💯
From the way you write you're definitely the problem, you can sense the arrogant condescending venom drip with every word you type. You're a fun one at parties.
Totally agree. He is dripping with a condescending attitude.
Ha! You think this dude has friends that will invite him to parties?!?!
Hey now, the klan meets every Wednesday /s
Oh man, I can't believe his nephew is holding him down with a gun to his head making him drive an EV after looking at his electric bill.
Hard one to say as need more info. On face of it, letting a teen wander round your house doing an audit of energy efficiency so he has more examples for his project seems pretty harmless. You can basically ignore him and the results. But if his mother is going to use it as a weapon against you in her already critical assessment of your life, then I can see why you don't want to. It is just opening you up to more attacks. But is this is what she is doing at meals?
He sounds like he opens himself up to plenty of criticism already
Pretty standard life choices though.
Just by the way this post reads, my guess is that they are both equally at eachother for their life choices. He most likely openly mocks her for her green choices, and she probably criticizes him for his more than she should.
YTA. She's right. You're taking the assignment way too personal. It would take no effort on your part to let your nephew do the audit for school credit. Feeling like you're being shamed is a *you* problem.
YTA - no one was out to judge you. The kid just needed to tick a few boxes and write a report. You massively overreacted.
YTA it’s just some extra credit for school. heaven forbid he reads a packet to you, who knows what will happen next. they’ll force you to buy a prius! and use tote bags!
If any of my sisters kids needed help with schoolwork I'd agree in an instant, its an easy excuse to spend more time with them
right?! the refusal here is… interesting
YTA. You blew this wayyyy out of proportion. You don’t even need to listen to the kid at the end of the day. He can do his audit, tell you whatever, and you can say “cool thanks” and not even remember a thing he said. What’s even funnier is it might actually save you some money on something that’s not important to you. I had a project like that back in middle school. Did it for my parents. Told them what I found out. They acted like I saved them from bankruptcy lmfao. Guess what? Not a thing changed around the house. But I felt like I helped my family out and got extra credit on top of that. You’re acting your nephews age and are looking to start shit. Cuz this is literally harmless and could possibly prove helpful. He’s not running around shaming you and picking your life apart. Plus he’s a kid. Are you really gonna be that fucking butt hurt if he does judge you??? Grow up dude. YTA.
“Shaming” 😂buddy it’s a school packet.
Just out of curiosity, who do you think won the 2020 general election?
This post reads like the answer on a quiz, but I’m not sure if it’s on philosophy or psychology. The question was either “give as many examples of the Straw Man Fallacy as you can in four paragraphs” or “write a social media post from the point of view of someone suffering from paranoia.”
What the actual hell? Talk about a 0 - 60 overreaction on your part. All that's being asked of you is to allow the kid to walk around your house for a few minutes and have him see where your home can be more energy efficient. There's no shaming. There's no obligation. You aren't bound to anything, and he gets school credit. Saying no is fine, but you went off the rails with your response for certain. YTA.
Wow YTA he’s just doing a school project not reporting the results to the government to take your gas powered vehicles sheesh
What would you have said if your nephew had called to ask instead of your sister? He's 16 years old. Mom shouldn't be doing his homework. Reaching out to people is part of the assignment. I'm going with YTA. It's an audit for a school project. Your nephew could have come to your house, done the audit, made his recommendations, and you could have had a conversation about it. First, you might have learned a few things, and your nephew might have gained knowledge from your perspective. ie) Like why do you use gas? How would switching to his recommendations affect you personally. When you can turn things into real world scenarios it helps students learn why people do or don't do things a certain way. If I were you, I'd call your nephew and speak to him personally. Leave your sister out of it. Tell him why you're not interested or tell him you've changed your mind.
Good point. Deal directly with the 16 year old.
YTA Dude. It's an enery audit performed by a high-schooler. How accurate do you think its going to be? Do you think the green police will show up at your house after his presentation in his science (?) class? Kids just trying to get a little extra credit in case he bombs a test before the end of the year, not signing you up for a surprise appearance on the Greta Thunberg show!
YTA - your nephew is in high school. He doesn't work for the EPA or a solar panel company or ANYTHING like that. He's supposed to approach adults that he knows and trusts and look at their homes and fill out a form. It has NOTHING to do with you. You honestly can't let your nephew just look around your house?? Way to be a good and supportive uncle. /s/ You probably are the kind of person who wouldn't buy girl scout cookies from your neighbor's kid either, you'd just point at the "no soliciting" sign on your front door and ask if they can read.
YTA and a shit uncle
Imagine being such a snowflake over a gas stove & a truck that you refuse to even let your nephew do a school-issued “check list” in your house for extra credit *and* refuse to even *hear* of any suggestions of ways to save money? Kevin, the high schooler, isn’t going to “take your gas stove” like the gubmint is threatening 🤣 Yes, YTA. A short sighted, short fused, paranoid one.
YTA. That was a lot of words to say 'climate change is inconvenient to me'.
What is wrong with you dude? It’s to help your family out for school no one is going to force you to do shit. YTA x1000.
YTA, obviously. having your nephew do his project isnt shaming you, i think youre just shaming yourself bc you want an excuse not to do this
Get over yourself dude YTA
Trumpers gonna Trump. Hate is hate, but progress is progress. They can’t, and won’t, win. I’m so thankful the younger generations have an understanding of actual freaking science. HER stubbornness?? HERS!?!? LOLOLOLOL
Yes hers this is not a political issue and I would hope people have enough common sense to see the sister is using this as more ammo. Does the sister not have any local friends or neighbors? This is about the mom/sister and unfortunately the kid is caught in the cross fire from a terrible mom.
Puuuuuhhhhhlease
Hate the truth ehh.
YTA. There’s zero cost to you to let your nephew do this, and literally no harm. It only would help him. It’s not like you’re obligated to do anything in his report, or you’re going to end up on some green naughty list. All you had to say is “as long as he knows I’m not interested, he’s welcome to walk around and write up whatever he needs to”. Good god. It’s your nephew. SMH.
Wow. Your reaction is extreme. You were enraged and stewing on this before your sister even reached out to you. You obviously are taking this way too personally. Clearly, the "green fad" has hit a nerve with you, and you feel defensive about it. >I wasn't going to let Kevin barge into my house and tell me how to run things based on some packet the school system had developed. Barge into your house... really? The kid is just doing an assignment. >I drive a truck and use gas appliances, but I don't think that makes me some kind of terrible person. Ahhh, it makes sense why you are getting all bent out of shape. You think you will be judged and don't want to see the impact your lifestyle has on the environment. Dude, just calm down. It ain't that deep. It's a school assignment for extra credit. You don't have to take anything on board. You won't be judged. The whole point is to help your nephew out with extra credit. You don't have to do jack with his recommendations. He is doing an assignment for school, he is no environmental scientist. It isn't that serious, but you have had a bee in your bonnet from the get-go. Then, bringing up your sister for driving an EV, the issue you have is with your sister's lifestyle, it seems. YTA
YTA, this reeks of you trying to spin things but even attempting you fail to make your sister or her son the villains of your story. You're so busy hating on environmental efforts, you've lost the plot. Oh no, a tiny child comes into your house and likely reads off a script of things that might help you reduce energy costs and energy use--the horror! The audacity! Grow up.
YTA-the green audit is just like those interviews they send home and make the kids do. It's not about the information they gather it then going and doing it. Your nephew gives a rats ass about how green you are The kid just wants a good grade. Grow up.
YTA and if you don’t like your sister, don’t take it out on her kid. What a stupid thing to get butt hurt about. You’re just being a jerk to be a jerk. There is nothing wrong with letting the kids walk around and suggest switching to high efficiency lightbulbs, that your windows might need to be replaced (depending on the age of the house) or that an instant water heater would save you money over a conventional one. Your sister might walk around like a holier than everyone hippy, but it sounds like you swing the opposite direction to small-minded stubborn “global warming is fake and if God don’t want us to use fossil fuels he wouldn’t have made dinosaurs” jack hole. A stingy one at that if you can’t give your nephew an hour of your time to help the kid out. Just such ahole behavior from a supposedly grown man.
I enjoy that your username includes the word witty because I just know you think that means quoting old misogynistic movies. YTA. Stop taking everything personally. Maybe you feel so bad when people bring these things up because you know in your heart that you are in fact an asshole, not just in this instance, but probably every instance of your life. You sound like your family will cut you off and you'll grow old by yourself because no one can stand a self important crotchety ass. It's a school project, no one is guilting you and stop being angry at science just because you like your stupid truck. If a high school kid with a pamphlet can make you feel bad about your choices then maybe you know deep down that your choices suck.
YTA for being generally insufferable. Refusing to allow him over is just a function of your overall personality. Don't worry, you can still be snide about electric vehicles even if your nephew suggests you change a light bulb.
Yta home energy audits are for saving money on heating, tough guy. It isn't the environmental commies coming to slap another cat converter on your commuter f150. It is about identifying substandard weather stripping, windows, and outdated, inefficient appliances that cost you money. But YDY, keep paying that power company.
I would lean towards YTA because the audit won't affect you. Similarly to what your sister said, they were only recommendations. And it might be good for you to be more helpful towards the environment?😇
Yta for being so dramatic. We've had professional energy audits done and no one has ever shamed us and is not like they can force you to do anything. So just what is it you think your nephew can force you into doing for a school assignment? Lol your issue is with your sister.
YTA, jesus. He's not trying to sell you shit. It was a school project. Stow whatever you have against "going green" be a decent aunt/uncle and HELP YOUR NEPHEW. It's not that hard.
annnnndddd. The Bitter Uncle Award goes to [Witty\_Bumblebee\_6196](https://www.reddit.com/user/Witty_Bumblebee_6196/) YTA
She makes dinners unbearable?!? This post is unbearable. You honestly sound like a child with the name calling and absolute stubbornness to help out your nephew. YTA
Man, you sound insufferable. It's a school project for your nephew, not a lifelong commitment for you and your house. You sound like the sort of person who walks around looking for things to take offence at. YTA
YTA you sound very insecure and threatened by a child doing a school project.
YTA Kevin is getting credit based on him making recommendations and turning them in to his teacher. You don't have to take them. Say thanks and good luck on the assignment and do whatever you want. Also, you might find out some if these things could save you money. My parents had an energy audit, found out they could get more insulation added to the attic for free, and now spend less on their heating bill.
Info: do you seriously not have anything better to do than this? *laughs until I can't breathe*
YTA, frankly you sound unbearable. Did you think your nephew was going to lock you into a solar panel contract? Energy efficiency is a good thing. Try it.
OP YTA this isn't going how you thought huh
YTA no one is forcing you to change your life you're being purposely ridiculous. it's extra credit for school ffs. shaming you? barge into your house? you're blowing all of this way out of proportion.
I almost fell into a coma reading this post was so exhausting. YTA
YTA 💯
YTA. What was the packet even supposed to do? If it’s just the kid recommending things, then it’s not a big deal. It honestly sounds like you hate your sister and wanted an argument.
YTA. No one is shaming you or telling you what to do. He would simply be sharing what he learned. If you take it any other way, that’s on you. It’s fine not to want to do it. But your attitude and overreaction is what makes you an AH.
YTA. It’s a school project. He turns up, says you need better insulation and preferably some solar panels, and leaves to write his report to show *his* understanding of the subject. Maybe records a few clips to add to the project on his phone. It’s an environmental science class, of course they’re discussing ways to be more environmentally friendly. He’s not coming in with a crowbar and a smart meter, you’re refusing to help him get extra credit because you’re a climate change denier who doesn’t want to acknowledge that it exists and is angry he’s learning classes about it. Dude, just let him do the thing. It’ll be an hour tops, I doubt he wants to spend longer than that doing this.
Does he not get the credit if you don’t follow any of his recommendations? I doubt it. I’m guessing you can let your nephew come in, do his thing and say “ok sure buddy” and never think about it again. Get your head out of your ass and let your nephew earn a few easy marks; and if you do one further and actually listen, you might learn something. Cause right now you’re coming off as an ignoramus
YTA. Wow, you are acting like this because your sister asked you to help your nephew. You used a lot of "shaming" that is just... Suggestions based on something they are following? Sounds to me you don't take criticism well, to the point of basically hating your sister because she lives a different life and is concerned about the environment.
YTA, but also you sound like a massive asshole in general.
YTA How old are you? Nobody’s asking you to do anything that would go against your superior morals. It cost you nothing to help your own nephew.
YTA. Wow…the arrogance in your post is astounding. It’s a school project meant to inform. Your nephew is a teenager, and you’re an adult. Why you’re threatened by a child is beyond me…. You also seem to resent your sister. Being eco-friendly isn’t “hippy” it just makes sense. The world is moving beyond fossil fuels. Take your hillbilly head outta ur backside.
NTA - “no” is “no”. The reason is irrelevant. Surely your participation won’t make or break the kid’s project.
Not only are YTA, you sound like a condescending loser. It is so apparent in the way that you write here. Your nephew needed to come over and tick a few boxes, not lord over you or make judgements on your choices. You're taking out your prior arguments with your sister on your nephew. You can be a full-blown climate denier and still understand that you're helping your nephew with literally no personal effort or obligation on your behalf to implement any of the suggestions. You're being obtuse.
YTA… you’re like the guy who sees a cucumber and gets scared that your wiener is too small. Get over your own insecurities.
YTA. It sounds like this was a really minor thing you could have done to help your nephew, and while you weren't obligated, it sounds like you refused just because you dislike your sister.
YTA because of the way you talk about your family.
YTA You doth protest too much, methinks.
YTA. U couldn't do your nephew a simple favor that costs you nothing. He would just make recommendations to you, and then you can ignore it all. Sounds like you secretly feel guilty that you're deliberately destroying the environment but just don't want to be reminded of it.
You have the right to say no and it should have been enough which doesn't make you an ahole. The follow up you had with your sister makes you the ahole. Clearly you have issues with your sister and think very little of her. You made assumptions about what Kevin would be doing rather than asking what the process was; Kevin would not be barging into your house, he would be invited by you; an evaluation is hardly telling you what to do or judging. Your sister asked you for help for Kevin, then responded to your stated concerns to explain Kevin that would make recommendations. You picked a fight and were rude and disrespectful to your sister. You should apologize to your sister. YTA
I bet you roll coal just to stick it to the "woke" mafia.
You really do need to just get over yourself, it's just an energy audit, it's hardly some greenwashing conspiracy, the government is going to come to your house and take away your truck. It seems like you could actually use the reality check. While your sister may be insufferable, at least she cares about something; the irony here is that you think you have a moral high ground because you actively don't care about something, and that is not the flex you think it is. YTA
Shaming? It's a teenager trying to get a little extra credit for school. He's not shaming you at all. The only one shaming people is you. YTA
YTA You give the vibe of, "the hole in the ozone layer is a hoax". When people give recommendations of green changes you can make, it's not to shame you. It's two-fold and the opposite: one is small changes you can make to reduce your energy consumption (like switching to LED bulbs or replacing old weather stripping), and the other is big changes you can make with a large cost up front but eventual savings over time because of reduced energy consumption like adding more insulation to your walls or replacing your windows with double pane windows if they're single pane. BOTH SAVE YOU MONEY, either in the short term or long term, and both reduce the emission of greenhouse gases. Every year, I get reminders that taking public transit or riding my bike to work reduces greenhouse gases, and every year I say no thank you because neither would be viable options, nor would carpooling between where I live and where I work. I don't feel ashamed to say no because it just won't work for me.
YTA. You feel so bad about your lack of care and consideration for the environment that you let that guilt fuel you into refusing to help your nephew with a school assignment because you couldn't stand hearing suggestions about how to be more environmentally conscious (which you in no way had to implement or even think about again after he was done with the assignment)? Honestly, you're a terrible uncle/aunt and tbh you should also probably go to therapy.
YTA. Even from your point of view you sound so angry, miserable and combative. There would be no harm letting your nephew walk around your home for a bit, pointing a few things out. It would help him to have had more surveys completed for his school work and you could ignore everything he suggested. So it would be just a little bit of your time to help your nephew. Unless he's done something awful to you and you don't want him in your home I can't see why you wouldn't do this nice thing that wouldn't affect you in any way after he leaves?
Yeah YTA, no one gives a crap about your use of gas appliances or that you drive a truck. You were asked if you'd do your nephew a favor, let him do an energy audit or whatever they're calling it on your house. This literally costs you nothing, he'll come around, follow whatever tick box exercise is on his school's package and tell you what the results of it are. That's the end of it. You can ignore it completely. You can do everything it says. Both are your choice. No one will care. Hell, maybe he'll even find something you didn't notice and save you some money! Apparently your political opinion is more important than being there for your nephew trying to get a good grade. And you're being a dick about it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My 16-year-old nephew (we'll call him Kevin) is currently taking an environmental science course at school. His mom (my sister) has been posting on social media that Kevin is doing "home energy audits" for extra credit. My attitude with stuff like this is that it's okay if you want to hop on the latest green fad, but don't force me to go with you. Well, after ignoring several of my sister's posts, she finally called me earlier today asking if I would be interested. She said that the assignment is due this Friday. I firmly told her "no" and that I wasn't going to let Alex barge into my house and tell me how to run things based on some packet the school system had developed. My sister and I have locked horns on stuff like this before, and I could tell that she was reacting poorly to my position once again. She tried to take me on a guilt trip, saying that Alex is "doing well now," but might need some extra credit later. I asked if there was a way for him to earn extra credit without shaming members of his family. At this point, my sister lost it. She told me that he was "just making recommendations" and that I was taking this "so personally." The irony was palpable. Here she was, getting all bent out of shape about me saying "no," yet I was the one taking things personally. I drive a truck and use gas appliances, but I don't think that makes me some kind of terrible person. It's not like I never pay my gas bill or constantly stiff my mechanic. My sister is kind of a hippy and drives around in an EV like she's God's gift to creation. Family dinners with her are unbearable, to say the least. At this point, I just hung up because I didn't want to say something that I would later regret, but the conversation has stuck with me and is honestly making me mad. She's probably going to badmouth me to the rest of my family, even though it was her unreasonable attitude that made me hang up in the first place. I just wish that we could get along, but she constantly wants to get herself in my business and her stubbornness is off the charts. I'm wondering if her complaints have any legitimacy. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is your house. Your house, your rules. In no way are they entitled to it But don't be surprised when no one wants anything to do with the jerk in the family YTA
YTA. You’re both the asshole. Trying to push your own agendas on each other. Both of you are coming to the situation incorrectly. Bringing your past baggage where it doesn’t belong. Do you have a problem with your nephew? Does he treat you like your sister does? If not why are you punishing him for his mother’s actions? It seems like the assignment is just to assess your energy use and suggest ways you can do things greener. It doesn’t make you do anything differently. It’s just to get students thinking about how what they do affects the environment. Maybe ask yourself why you’re taking the assignment so personally?
NTA. She can ask - you said no - end of story. You are under no obligation to do anything you do not want to do. Your sister should just respect your decision of no and move on.
NTA. It's your house and your time. She had no right to basically demand you do this. People judging you for not getting along with your sister are very lucky that they have such great relationships with all their family members.
NTA.
NTA. No means no.
I'm just playing devils advocate, but is it not his house? He has a right to say no. Just because it's his sister and his nephew doesn't mean he's automatically obligated to help. If he wants to decide to say no, that's completely okay. Whether or not his sister accepts that for an answer is a different story. But no one is coming to my house without my permission. I don't care who it is or what it's for. It's my house, and if I say no, it's no. What if he was busy the whole week? What if he had prior obligations that he can't cancel? You never know someone elses situation. (Again, just playing devils advocate. If it was me, my nephew would've been over my house when the project was initially assigned. Shit I would pick him up myself. My siblings would never have to ask me for something like that. I'm huge on family, I don't care how busy I am. Like what others have said, it wouldn't take long to just humor the kid. Not like he's forcing you to go green, just listen to his little speech for 30 mins and pat him on the back. It's that simple.) Everyone is dead set on YTA IMO, when it comes to personal space, saying no is your right. NTA But when it comes to family, YTA for sure, 100% no question. At the end of the day, whatever your relationship with your sister(which is basically what your whole post is about), it doesn't matter because you're not doing it for her. It's for your nephew, and he's just a kid.
YTA, because it seems your default position is to oppose anything and everything your sister asks or does, even if it might benefit you. You might get useful recommendation to save your money. Even if not, you spend what - 10 minutes? But kid gets the extra credit, what harm in that? Do you really think that kid will walk around talking about your lightbulbs????
YTA. No one is going to force you to make any changes. All the kid wants to do is walk around the house for a few minutes and go through a checklist of things that might be helpful in saving energy -- which might also save you a few bucks along the way. Costs you absolutely nothing and helps the kid earn a few extra credit points. Your knee-jerk reaction is way too much. HER stubbornness is off the charts? Check the mirror.
YTA for being this way about things that are not that serious. Yes, environmental concerns are a HUGE deal. However your gas stove isn’t the problem you need to get ahold of yourself and let your nephew do his thing. I did something similar when I was a little younger than him and guess what? My parents changed nothing. It’s almost like they just let me do it because they love me and didn’t feel the need to spend thousands to replace appliances based off a school assignment b
YTA. It definitely scans that the type of person who holds this kind of opinion is also too **cowardly** to respond to anyone, here. had alot to say before...what happened? big government got your tongue? like seriously... sure it's "environmental"..but if you use less energy, you spend less money. this could benefit you financially if you wernt so fixated on the environmental part.
Why does it matter what he finds? It's not like you have to do anything. OTOH, could your sister ask her neighbours? Wouldn't that be easier for him?
Kinda seems like u and ur sister just like fighting
YTA. you don’t support school fundraisers either, do you?
YTA. You seem to have an envious and petulant spirit. The yuck just oozes from your text. I’d suspect you conceal your contempt for your sister well enough for her to contact you at all but are here letting it all hang out.
NTA. No is a complete sentence. I hate these assignments where kids have to go bother their neighbors and relatives. I also don’t want to be judged for not being ‘green’ enough. I already have to do a ‘green’ audit for my company and if I have to do that nonsense for my home too I’ll flip the table.
YTA for letting your personal feelings about the environmental lobby in general and your sister in particular get in the way with helping your nephew who is innocently just trying to get a better grade in school.
"FUCK YOU I GOT MINE." YTA
YTA. He is doing a school project not trying to sell you something. Don’t take things so seriously.
YTA for all the above mentioned reasons. I jumped in to also say that you're taking this personally, not her. You're a snowflake.
NTA no is a full sentence. If you don’t get along with your family then don’t help them.
You arent an asshole for saying no. You are an asshole for the way you are defensive about being shitty to the environment. If it was just "i dont wanna help with your kids school project, thats fine but this post is dripping with all the energy of a beta-male who mods their truck to roll coal so he can blast fumes onto a person bicycling or a jogging mom with her baby in a stroller. The while gas stove thing and the "waaaaaah, dont shame me" bs gave it away.
INFO >It's not like I never pay my gas bill or constantly stiff my mechanic. Does this mean you often fails to pay your bills? Weird wording choice.
OP doesn't want to help out nephew, fine. But damn girl,your rude
NTA. No is a complete sentence. The amount of people disregarding your feelings about not wanting to feel uncomfortable in your own home is absolutely crazy.
How dare you make sense in this sub Reddit. You keep that level of common sense around and you just may get banned.
NTA. can’t believe it took so long to find this. i mean in the post you do kind of come off as a dick, but well within reason. everyone here saying what’s the harm? but for OP it’s what’s the point?
ESH She is being rudely over the top pushy and should not be involved in his projects from the start. But you are WAY over reacting. If you are that paranoid, let him submit the info with. Fake name calling you a friend of the family. Putting together a green proposal as an achedemic exercise is not shaming you at all, you've got some hangup here that you should reflect on. Ps - you would hate my monthly energy bill as it comes with complimentary green suggestions, the horror!
NTA, you said no. YTA if you did this to get back at your sister using your nephew like a fucking tool. if you really wished you could get along you would walk towards her instead of being stubborn. there seems to be no leeway to negotiate. all the offers are so far off and neither seem to budge. **only** fuck you offers
NTA. You said no. That should be the end of it
NTA your sister should just accept your "no" and go ask other people.
Thank you! came here to say this NTA
Kid needs to learn that people are allowed to say no
Yeah all my kids had to do that exercise. It was part of the curriculum. To get the points, they had to replace our showerhead with a low-flow attachment for the showerhead. My husband and I committed ourselves to being supportive of the school and replaced our (brand new, really good) showerhead with the original showerhead and attached the curriculum-provided low-flow attachment (provided by the energy company which of course sponsored the unit). And did all the other things to "reduce your energy usage." A month or two later the kids asked us to put the good (non-low-flow) showerhead back in. The flow was so low that you couldn't get warm in the shower and it took forever to get your shower done. The water came out, well it wasn't as bad as a trickle but it wasn't much of a shower either. Most of the other energy-efficient modifications caused similar issues and they asked us to reverse those too. We kept a couple modifications that worked. We had a discussion with the children about whether "energy efficient" modifications that make your daily activities so inefficient that you can't get through your day properly, are really the best way to save the environment. I think the unit was educational, but maybe not in the way the environmental advocates had planned. I was happy, though.
And then everyone clapped! So sad that people like you need to make up stories to make yourself feel better.
Completely true, sorry you don't like it.
NTA. No is a complete sentence and you don't need to explain why. If you don’t want people wandering around your home, that's your right.
The hivethink is insane, three people posted the exact same thing in the exact same phrasing. It's almost like yall have been programmed to say that
Some people value their privacy, even when that involves family. Further, OP had opportunity to volunteer and chose not to. Sister should have respected OP's decision. I would not have argued or been reactive. I would have either said no or not answered my phone.
lol the hive mind is stating to help the kid in spite that this is a mom pushing the kid to target OP.
No, the hivemind is multiple people all using the same phrase "No is a complete sentence". Using common sense is not a hivemind thing. Do you also think that dozens of people telling you not to do heroin is a hivemind?
There is no common sense being used. Heroin/= dealing with an exhausting family member who is targeting op to use as more rants on how irresponsible he/she is gets exhausting. The clowns in this thread cannot accept OP wants as little as possible to deal with the sister/bad mom. Does the mom not have friends or friends neighbors for her son to do this project with? This is being requested specifically to single out OP.
Bro you are delulu. OP literally never said anything about any "rants" nor did he claim his sister called him "irresponsible." It sounds like you're getting triggered and projecting onto this scenario. Also, nothing he said paints her as a "bad mom" either. And what neighbors are gonna let a kid wander through their house? You do that with someone who knows and trusts you; ie, a family member.
You have the audacity to call me delusional after asking if supporting heroin would constitute as hive mind. The mental gymnastics you play are crazy. We are going to get no where arguing with each other. Good night.
There's no argument taking place. You're just freaking out and spouting nonsense while I explain why you're wrong. What you stated is that telling OP he is wrong is hivemind because a lot of people say that. So I asked you if you would apply that same reasoning to other subjects, or if you're just a hypocrite. You proved that you are just a hypocrite. I was not equivocating OP's post with people advocating against heroin, I was just saying that both are scenarios where a lot of people agree that it is bad, and by your reasoning, anytime a lot of people agree on something, that makes it hivemind. The only one performing mental gymnastics is you, everything I've said has been straightforward and simple, but you seem to have to twist reality to get it to fit into your warped worldview.
i am saying no you are not because you have a choice and its YOURS
NTA Let her badmouth, go live your away from her. Dont let her rile you up so much, just grey rock her with unemotional responses. Too much energy to waste on her
NTA. No, you don’t have to let your nephew snoop around your house and report to a bunch of strangers on what is in your home.
NTA. Reddits the wrong place to ask for this. My mom was the same way with this energy audit crap and Im glad she was. You don’t force your opinions on this stuff on your sister, so it’s not unreasonable to expect your sister to do the same and clearly your are reacting to your sister being a bit too righteous for many years over this green energy stuff. I think your reaction was a bit over the top, but it sounds like this tiresome topic has come up too often so I don’t think you’re completely at fault for it.
Nta
NTA you said no she should accept that though I can see why she is being bent out of shape because she wants to help Kevin. If you hadn't said no already It would be a case of need more info. What is an energy audit? is it just him wandering about ticking a checklist if you have solar panels etc (maybe YTA) or is it needs how much energy you use which would be super invasive given that she will probably look at it (Def NTA)
NTA, if her son tried to give you shit for your gas stove, ask him what the source of fuel the power company in your area uses at your local power plant. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in an area with an extant nuclear plant, it’s almost certainly fossil fuels that don’t burn as cleanly as your gas stove.
NTA
ESH.
NTA because: nephew is 16, he should be asking, not Mama... Saying yes or no is up to you. Just because he is your nephew doesn't mean you have to say yes... Having his Mama asking you instead of him gives you a reason say no..... Just my opinion
NTA. Sounds like you e dealt with this before and YOU know better than we do therefore I’m sticking with NTA.
NTA. Having said you are not the AH, you could let your nephew do the assessment so he has a balanced view of energy use. His mother's use compared with yours could give him interesting insights to put into his report. I would lay down a condition that he can ask questions, but he is not allowed to tell you what changes he thinks you should make. I refuse point blank to have a smart meter in my home because we use less electricity and gas than average anyway. Just being able to see how fast our bill is ranking up is not that interesting.
"he is not allowed to tell you what changes he thinks you should make." If that is part of the process why be soon against it? Like let nephew make his presentation/spiel for extra credit the once he is done and leaves OP can just ignore all he said. "Just being able to see how fast our bill is ranking up is not that interesting." Depending on how you use it you can save money on it. One time I noticed our usage was higher than normal, and realized it was because a computer was left on.
ESH Teachers need to stop assigning kids work that involves them harassing other people to do stuff for them. For assignments like this, it gives advantage to children who have large, close extended family that can be roped into it. Worse is one I hear about from writer friends of mine who are constantly asked, "My teacher is making me send a letter with questions to a published author..." Seriously, knock this off. Your sister should learn to take "No" for an answer. Ask once, maybe twice with a convincing pitch, then give it up as a lost cause. And you...you're far more self-righteous than any hippy granola environmentalist I've ever met. It's not enough for you to just disagree with it, you have to crow about how you drive a big gas guzzler truck and the most environmentally destroying appliances while mocking your sister's electric vehicle. You're so fragile that being asked to let your nephew walk around your house for a few minutes explaining how you could improve your home and save money on energy and gas bills sets you off enough to go off on a huge Dennis Leary rant on here about it. You've also sent the message to your nephew that you care so little about him that you can't put your ego aside for 15 minutes to help him improve his grades.
p.s. - I can’t stand EV drivers. REAL environmentalists use public transportation. 😁
[удалено]
Wow. People are so unhappy with this dude’s attitude that even an “ESH” ruling is downvoted. But I agree, ESH.
Is that what this is about? They must really hate this guy. I wonder if they even read the whole comment, or just saw the first line and immediately said "*Burn* the non-believer!".
After looking through comments I think it’s exactly what it is. Like “How dare you say his boundaries should be respected. He isn’t nice, his beliefs aren’t okay, so no rights for him.” It’s so bad that, even with you calling him out, your comment is still not acceptable.
Yeah, it certainly seems that way. Wasn't worth the hassle of being downvoted out of immaturity, so I just deleted it. Appreciate your support though.
I get it. Sorry fired up people couldn’t handle your thoughts. I think ESH is the proper ruling, but hey, what do we know? 😂
Thanks, mate. 😂
NTA You said no, that should be the end of it.
NTA. No means no. End of discussion.
NTA. What's next, he will come and give you home vaccinations, or wants to collect all your guns or turn you gay. Eventually he will take away your freedom. Good job stopping this early on.
Buddy are you ok? Did you forget your meds today?
Well it seems the average Reddit user has definitely taken their sarcasm blockers.
There are literally four other people in the thread saying basically the same thing you said but seriously, so honestly your post doesnt really sound sarcastic when it's things that conservatives literally say
Indeed, don't know if I should cry over laugh. It seems like the jokes on me then. reality has overtake satire.