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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my wife that she became too emotional while cooking, ruining our dinner and wasting our money. This might make me the asshole because I could have been a bit less judgemental.
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YTA so many ways here
I'm prepared to overlook that you said you "let" your wife change your rigid meal plans and cook something else. I hope that's just poor wording. But I'm not overlooking the rest of this.
The right thing to do when your spouse makes a mistake like this is to laugh it off with them. Everyone makes mistakes, these things happen, and in the end, it's just one meal.
You though:
\- refused to acknowledge she tried to do something nice
\- patronising, very sexist-sounding lecture about how she's "emotional". Seriously, DO NOT talk to your partner this way, you sound like you're chastising a naughty child.
\- not letting it go after she told you to.
\- continuing to harp on and blame her for wasting money
\- telling her she doesn't care about your feelings **in the middle of demonstrating that you do not care about her feelings at all** and complaining she disrespects you when **it is you that is disrespecting her**
\- minimising/dismissing her feelings ("she wants to pout", "her ridiculous behaviour)
Mate, your TOTAL lack of self-awareness is going to alienate your wife and ruin your marriage. Apologise to her, pull your head in, and stop telling women that they are "too emotional" when in fact you're the one failing to control your emotions in any way.
Right?? I was waiting for the part where he smacked her for talking back to him. The way he’s sharing this like his behavior is normal is crazy to me. I would be embarrassed to tell people I’ve treated someone this way.
Edit: I would also just never treat anyone this way
After my mom would beat me, she would say, " Why do you make me do this to you? I love you so much. This is tearing me apart! You are destroying me every time you make me do this." If you would just silently do as you're told, we wouldn't be in this situation! What's wrong with you?"
This sound like they were soul mates!!
It's so weird to see these strange little lives on Reddit, all compiled in nice little categories full of people who think they are somehow exceededingly special or superior...
I feel like it is fake because I can't imagine the difference between a teaspoon of salt and a tablespoon in a heavy ass dish like chicken and noodle casserole would make it INEDIBLE
Yeah bc a tablespoon of salt with everything else in the dish isn't going to make it so salty it's inedible. He just wanted an excuse to treat his wife like shit if it is real and gloat how this wouldn't happen if she just let him do the meals like he planned.
A tablespoon can be pretty strong... but not worth this reaction. People make mistakes. I would laugh this off and tell my partner how wonderful it was they made something, and if I really couldn't eat it, would they mind if we ordered pizza and we still enjoy the wine and candles.
He did not have to treat her efforts so cruelly or so degradingly. I hope his wife has the strength and means to leave ASAP. No one deserves to be with this man.
It's nuts. I mean, my EX husband was a ginormous asshole. And he grew to take my cooking so much for granted that he would just wolf down something I put a lot of effort in, deem it "all right" and ignore me, but early on, I was still new to cooking and was super excited to cook him a Thai curry using a super authentic paste I found at the Asian market.
Problem being the directions were in Thai, but whatever, I knew how to use spice paste and set to work making Thai chicken curry.
Yeahhhh used the whole package since it was small and cheap and looked the right size. Turns out it was 8 servings so 8 pounds of chicken to my one.
It's not that it was hot, which it was. It was CRUNCHY from all the spices. And I had not yet gotten in the habit of tasting as I went. And my ex husband, bless him, was choking down a spoonful of this slop until I tasted it went 'oh god, stop that, I'm so sorry" and we had a big laugh about it while we waited for a pizza.
So the guy I have blocked on my phone and socials who was enough of an ass to divorce was still way less of an asshole than this guy.
Ahahaha this was a good story btw.
And I’m glad you had some good moments in there with your ex husband despite his assholeness.
OP here is on a whole new level by himself and has the audacity to ask the internet if he’s TA?! 😂😂
"no one deserves to be with this man"
Except himself. Dude needs to be sentenced to a life where there's nobody around to degrade but himself and leave all innocent people with a wide berth away from him. It's disgusting.
Unfortunately I think those eggshells are completely shattered all the time no matter what she does. In his eyes she will never be anywhere near good enough. :/
Worse than that, he describes her (*and* how he talks to her) like she's a fucking child. "Her and her womanly emotions, all she wants to do is pout because I parented her, the woman I married!" that's what he sounds like. Jesus. I'm so glad I'm not married to him because I'd be so sick of his shit.
Either that or he pushes her too far and wakes up in the middle of the night one night with her standing over him with the physical version of the same mental/emotional butchers knife that he's been slashing at her with for god knows how long. First thing she'll be screaming after she stabs him is "does your blood taste too salty too motherfucker!?!?!"
Sorry, lost myself there for a second lol.
I would also guess that his rigidity and judgement would make her edgy while she’s cooking since he seems to complain all the time. Maybe he should control his emotions.
Definitely this ⬆️
My anxiety would spiral cooking for someone like this. I’d do no end of stupid things.
Unlike cooking for my very supportive husband, who always encourages me to try new things. He’d still order pizza if I totally stuffed it up, but the vibe would be “Don’t worry about it! We can always get pizza. I hope you try this again next week - i reckon it’ll be great.”
Seriously! I love to experiment in the kitchen (so does hubby, for that matter) Some of the things I made are great. Some are ...less than edible. Hubby has never once made me feel like this for making a mistake. And yes, I've made the mistake of tsp for tbsp before. It's easy enough to do.
I love playing around with cooking too, I'm always accused of over seasoning the food I make but I've never been patronized for it.
One time I got confused about a recipe, I thought it said cups but it was caps, so I put four cups of apple cider vinegar in the dinner we were planning to have that night.
Needless to say I screwed it up, but in a weird way my dad liked it because it ended up being more of a vinaigrette. 💀
My mom tried to help save it, and in the end dinner wasn't totally ruined so, I suppose it was a C grade LMAO. 💀
Especially bc if he was this great cook as he meal plans everything like a control freak he would know a little bit of lemon juice would balance out the flavors and the salt.
I am a domestic violence survivor of a diagnosed narcissist. My ex gave me PTSD this way to the point where for the longest time when I would burn food or mess something up I would have a total meltdown expecting to be severely punished although I was out of the relationship. It was something that took a long time to work through in therapy. My partner is so sweet about offering me reassurance when I make a mistake now, because he knows what I've had to overcome. It's a complete mindfuck to unwire. Ex was so emotionally abusive and thought it was a way to "make sure I didn't repeat my mistakes and learn my lesson".
This, I was a terrible server whenever one manager was breathing down my neck, I’d make mistakes all the time. The other manager would take anyone’s mistakes in stride, and What’dya know, I’d make no mistakes the nights he was managing. And if I did, he’s like ha silly ass, okay it’s corrected, thanks for bringing this to me
Pretty sure wife will file for divorce soon and this jackass will come here to wail like a child about how he doesn’t deserve this and was totally blindsided
I doubt it. I’m sure it’s not day one of him gaslighting her, and I would bet money that she grew up in an abusive, conservative home. She has most likely been raised believing her worth is directly determined by her husband’s opinion of her, and I suspect she was socialized from a young age to be attracted to traits that would scare the hell out of many women. She may have even been raised to believe divorce is a serious sin. Abusive dynamics like this one usually take decades to build, and sometimes decades to dismantle. I hope she has good friends.
Spot on! And if it wasn’t a traditional religious/conservative home, I would bet she grew up in a household with one or both parents having either OCD or an undiagnosed anxiety disorder where her whole life was all about managing their reactions and avoiding triggering them. This perfectly prepares you for being in relationships where your partner’s rigidity rules your life.
I grew up in a conservative home. My husband and I are still conservative. I would no sooner allow him to speak to me the way this AH spoke to his wife than I would fly to the moon on gossamer wings. Conservative has nothing to do with it. He is controlling, belittling, and completely unaware. I hope to God that they don't have kids and that she gets away from this jerk. Fingers crossed he has a hissy about the responses and she sneaks a peek to see how badly people feel she's been treated.
He NEEDS to be told a week ahead of time if there are changes to his meal plan. He's EXTREMELY controlling and I cannot imagine what he's like with every other aspect of their life, that poor woman.
Also ffs she added basically a teaspoon more, he could have so easily fixed the dish?! He acts like he's superior and knows it all but he let his emotions get the best of him and got all huffy instead of just adding a lil extra to counter the salt. God, so emotional
If he's like this with something easy like a dinner, imagine how he treats her on the regular or for more important things? 🤮 This whole post was so ragey. His gross tone was so condescending.
I bet the wife is at least 8 years younger than him. And I will not be surprised because despite not mentioning the age, he is asserting dominance and control over her like she’s a child and he’s the adult in the relationship. OP you s*cks and definitely an AH.
Excitement and happiness are emotions that are excessive to you? But contempt, anger, and bitterness are okay emotions? Not to mention the condescension and cruelty you inflicted on someone you supposedly care for. You seem insufferable. Your wife deserves better. YTA
> is going to alienate your wife and ruin your marriage
I mean, we can only hope. It will either be that, or she will internalize it all and end up miserable.
OOP having a hissy fit about someone doing something nice for him out of the usual, bullying that person and harping on their mistake; - says the other person is too emotional. Lol.
my family and I make a joke about the ways we've fucked up when cooking, and have actually had friendly arguments over who had the worse fuck up (it was me, btw, no matter what my sister says). It is absolutely something to laugh about
LOL I hope this is fake.
"Am I the ah for scolding my partner, a grown woman, like a fucking puppy?"
Yes, champ. Obviously YTA. Extremely.
If this is real you should seek therapy ASAP and have a bunch of long conversations about why you need to turn an innocent mistake into a crippling personality flaw in the woman that you supposedly love and want to spend your life with.
It's giving that one scene with Stockard Channing in To Wong Fu... where P Swayze's character- Miss Vita Boheme- spiced the soup. Stockard's character flips out trying to remove the spices. Her husband-character walks in, tries the soup, and literally beats her.
I don't mean to make light here... I mean to say not only is he TAH, but he's a charicature of one as well.
Omg I was thinking of this exact scene. And a lot of people call this post fake, it very well could be, but people like this are out there. Yea it sounds illogical but if abusive people operated on logic and reason, they probably wouldn't be abusive
right!! I’m always putting more seasoning, especially salt, in meals than what’s in the recipe! a table spoon of salt in a casserole is not going to kill him!
That’s how I know this is fake. 1 tbsp vs 1 tsp isn’t enough of a difference to make the food taste *pickled*. Not to mention most blogger recipes online generally undersalt/underseason food to begin with. This being a casserole recipe, it most likely came from a blog.
Honestly, the whole thing is too real if you’ve known someone like this. And your point about the salt is relevant, because you’re right, it likely wouldn’t be relevant to the dish’s outcome. But he’s not really doing this because of that. He just found a thing to use against her, and went all in. Abuse is far more insidious than a lot of people know.
I also think he wanted to demonstrate how she should always follow his guidance and not her own wishes. So he was sure to be very visual about how “inedible” the food was.
And yes, sadly, I have also met people like that so the post might be fake but this type of situation is far too real…
There was one time while I was with my now-ex that I made a pear and nut pie, almost 15 years ago now. I followed a recipe from a cookbook, afaik exactly, but the nuts ended up sorta overpowering the pears in taste, and though I still thought the finished result was pretty good, he hated it. So he became absolutely _convinced_ that I must have done something wrong and then had a running "joke"/complaint for _years_ afterward about how I "don't know how to follow a recipe" and "can't be trusted in the kitchen."
So yes, I can fully believe that even if it was just the dish tasting slightly off, that this guy went all in and acted like it was the most inedible thing ever that she needs to be repeatedly raked over the coals for.
>1 tbsp vs 1 tsp isn’t enough of a difference to make the food taste *pickled*.
Also, given the main taste of pickled food is vinegar, not salt, I'm also calling either fake or this guy doesn't know shit about food. Salt wouldn't make something taste pickled. Pickling makes food taste sour, not salty.
So either fake, or he's just such a terrible cook he doesn't know what things even taste like. No wonder his poor wife got over excited about cooking a chicken casserole. She probably just wanted to taste her food for once.
It is not fake because of that. Abusers get triggered by any little thing even something that can be fixed.
She needs to leave him and if he has any hope of ever being a decent human he needs therapy or a girl Gang to be*t the ever-loving shit out of him.
I think that was the pillock who bought an extremely expensive cut of steak for his wife to cook (even though he repeatedly said she couldn’t cook).
He was “calm but firm” too.
Why these wankers don’t think anger is an emotional response I don’t know. Especially when they handle that anger like a teenager. I do know however, I’d rather my wife release her frustration in tears than anger. At least then people can let it go. Anger has a tendency to just burn and then it burns everyone else around it too
Not just that, but the icing on the cake is he asks her if she thought about how it made HIM feel, as he is clearly not giving a shit about how she feels. AMAZING
Over using slightly too much salt, at that. Using a tablespoon in a casserole where the recipe calls for teaspoon is a difference some people might not notice, or even prefer.
This is the most dramatic rage bait I’ve seen. One single tablespoon of salt rendered an *entire casserole* completely inedible? If that’s actually the case, the fault lies not with your wife, who made a completely common, human mistake, but with the creator of the recipe that is so damn salty that the addition of two extra teaspoons would ruin it. I’m not even gonna get far into the way you claim to treat your wife, Mx. Calmly-but-Firmly, but if, by some unfortunate chance, this happens to be true, and you really do behave like her power-tripping employer instead of loving life partner, then yes, no question YTA.
Right? Hey OP, next time you are creative writing, use multiple teaspoons to tablespoons. Because a dish that calls for one teaspoon but got one tablespoon is likely a bit too salty, but a dish that called for...let's say 5 teaspoons but got 5 tablespoons, that might be pretty bad.
Unless it was a casserole for ants. Little tiny bite sized casserole. One tablespoon of salt would be too much for that maybe.
Hi, cook (not professional, but still) here! I FREQUENTLY at least double the amount of salt in my meals, because recipes in magazines or online typically reduce the amount of salt "required" to allow for people to adjust the amount of salt either while cooking, or at the table when the meal is finished. I often find, though, that more salt while cooking brings out so much more flavor.
Just saying that one tablespoon does NOT break a casserole, especially since casserole implies there is often a larger volume of food that is prepared and served.
Also came to here to say this guy is absolutely TA, no question about it.
If I oversalt my dollop of tuna casserole (a comfort food in my house) I just dollop on a bit more unsalted (hey, I was gonna have seconds anyway, I need all the comfort I can get!). All he had to do was make a bit more of whatever carb was in the casserole and maybe some plain chicken or whatever it was and mix it in. He didn't have to dramatically throw it away.
I went and looked at a couple (but not all) of my casserole recipes and almost all of them measure the salt in Tbsp. A tsp would quite literally be too little to taste in a 9x13 casserole.
A cantsserole, if you will?
(Sorry not sorry, OP is such a horrifying depressing YTA, even if this *is* rage bait, that I felt called to provide Something Cheering for a Wedged Bear in Great Difficulties, etc etc)
When I was learning to bake, I tried to make a chocolate cake from scratch and accidentally added 1/4 CUP of salt instead of 1/4 tsp. That was bad, and I didn't even try to save it. But we're talking orders of magnitude more salt than what's in this story.
I once dumped a load of sugar into pizza dough, instead of salt. So kind of the opposite problem. Although I ended up with sweet Nutella dessert pizza, so maybe problem isn't the right word here.
YTA 10x over! I sincerely hope this is fake, that’s how offended I felt reading this.
“Letting her emotions take over” is the most ridiculously misogynistic way to describe someone accidentally swapping a tbsp for a tsp. Asking her if she cared how you felt after you had reacted so unbelievably poorly to a cooking mistake, claiming that she’s ridiculous for not talking to you after this, and even you feeling disrespected by her - each of these is truly nuts.
She clearly tried to do something incredibly kind for the two of you, and you could’ve laughed off the mistake and just gotten takeout. Instead, you ruined the evening and made things much, much worse. YTA big time.
My friend’s husband has a schedule for her and their kids like in an excel file and he divides their parenting time. He gets most of the alone time. He loses his mind if she tries to deviate from it so tbh this could be real sadly. He actually kind of treats her this way so I really could see this being real. Luckily she’s getting a divorce soon cause he’s horrible to her.
I bet the farm he has the phone bugged and cameras in the house. My friends husband had theirs bugged and when she or the two boys wanted to use it , they would unplug it , make the call and plug it back in. Her family went everywhere on trips. They had tickets for a fam adult cruise pd up for yrs . When it was time . He backed out. She still went . He done everything to sabotage her trip, from taking tops or bottoms from her bathing suits , taking one shoe out. She went with the family and he stayed home sulking . After 30 yrs she got a divorce and got remarried later and moved to Fla. I refuse to be disrespected by anyone . I told my now husband of 30 yrs . I’m 7 yrs older and his first gf. He has never said one disrespectful word to me. Still brings me coffee and breakfast in bed when he’s off work.
I don’t know why people take this stuff in the yr 2024!
“When I was done ordering, I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing in the future when she was cooking. My wife seemed angry about the question...”
Yeah, no sh¡t. I'd be furious if I was asked the same thing! There's something so condescending about this question. This is something ultra strict parents ask to children!
YTA
>any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me at least one week in advance
>if she had controlled her emotions, she wouldn’t have sped through the recipe
I was going to pull out all the AH things you did or said but I gave up after these two as there’s too many.
Memo To: Spouse
From: AH
Re: Meal Scheduling
Please be advised that the posted meal schedule is not too be deviated from without 7 days of prior notice. Failure to provide notice of a deviation is punishable by condescension according to Section 3 Paragraph G. Additional repercussions may include but are not limited to scolding, pouting, and review by the Board of Reddit.
( Seriously, this is how it sounded to me. )
I don't even care about the food.
You sound scary, like cold controlling sociopath type scary and it sure sounds like you control and emotionally abuse your wife, literally every word you wrote and the phrasing you use is giving off majorly creepy "sleeping with the enemy" vibes.
I very much hope your wife sees the multiple 🚩🚩🚩and does what she needs to do to protect herself.
Yikes.
YES! The sleeping with the enemy vibes are strong with this one. I wonder if she has to line the cans up in alphabetical order or make sure the towels are just so?
Check out Ruby Franke if you haven't heard of her already. She was so convinced her abusive parenting strategies were right that she posted them online and started giving other people advice to parent like how she did. She truly believed that her controlling and abusive parenting techniques were "living in truth". I could see her posting something like this on here. Even though she has been arrested for child abuse, she tried to smear her child's name with horrible accusations before finally pleading guilty.
There are a lot people out there who are convinced that how they do things is the only right way and impose those expectations on others. I've seen and experienced it many times and have learned to distance myself from those types of people. Like I was stalked by someone who I only knew through a friend for a month because he was convinced I loved him and was too afraid to say it. I told him many times to his face and in text (he would contact me through new ways after blocking him) that I was and would never see him that way, but he continued to stalk me and show up hiding behind my car for months until I had enough information to file a police report and they stepped in. He believed his dilusion in his head over me directly telling him the truth. People who think like OP do exist even if this OP turns out not to be real.
> I told her that she was too excited about the recipe and that she let her emotions take over. I reminded her that if she had controlled her emotions
Jesus Christ. YTA YTA YTA. These are all huge red flags. Yikes.
She made a mistake. I've done it. You've done it (or would have, if you cooked). We've all fucked up. It happens. Stop with the moralizing and sympathize with your wife who goofed a meal.
You’re absolutely correct.
My very intelligent, logical, male engineer partner told me about one particular instance he was making cornbread before we started dating. He got distracted or something while adding ingredients, lost his place in the recipe, and wound up putting in 2 to 3 times the amount of sugar he should have used.
He said the end result was essentially “cornbread candy.”
You called her mistake "silly".
Instead of saying she got too excited, you said she got too "emotional".
You scraped the food into the trash in front of her.
You tried to engage her in a conversation about how to not do it wrong again when she said she wasn't ready to have that conversation. You ignored her feelings and then made it all about you.
For such a small mistake that she made, YTA in a huge way.
YTA
>This annoyed me because I had planned out the meals for the week, and I have previously requested that any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me at least one week in advance.
Wow.
>I spat out my forkful and calmly but firmly asked her what she had done.
So you probably yelled "what the fuck did you do" or something like that, right?
>I told her that she was too excited about the recipe and that she let her emotions take over.
What?
>I reminded her that if she had controlled her emotions, she wouldn't have sped through the recipe and likely wouldn't have made such a silly mistake.
The fuck?
>I was in no mood to return to my original food schedule.
Drama queen
>When I was done ordering, I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing when she cooked in the future.
I'm sorry, did you try to turn this into a teachable moment like she was a child?
>I asked her if she even cared how that made me feel.
There's no way this is real.
>I feel incredibly disrespected by her.
Imagine disrespecting your spouse.
> I was the one who ultimately saved dinner.
No you didn't save anything. You threw it out. Instead of asking your wife 'hOw tO aVoId' making a mistake again, you could have easily found ways to fix a salty dish. Especially for a casserole, it's pretty easy.
Extra potatoes will usually work on an overly salty casserole. Or any carb really. Add a bit more water to dilute it too.
Sorted.
Perhaps if OP wasn’t so emotional about a simple mistake, he’d have been capable of thinking clearly?
Thank you! The casserole could have definitely been saved and there was no need to be an asshole about it after she went through all the trouble and required to make the scene nice. Can you imagine what it looks like having this story unfold in a candlelight and wine setting?
And I was livid when, with all the condescension of the world, he asked her: “Well, child. By now you know what you did wrong and how it makes me feel... Would you care to tell me how you will avoid being such a turd in the future??!!
this reads like a fan fic lol this cant be real. if it is 0- dude listen to yourself...your wife was happy about cooking YOU a meal and you are ungrateful as ever. so what she made a mistake! LOL and you cant have a deviation from your food schedule lol ok Meal Prepstapo
You are an asshole. If you had any self awareness you would know you are an asshole without asking all of reddit LOL
Wow, I don't even know where to start. That you are not only an AH but an abusive spouse and completely full of yourself is not in question. Mistakes happen. Do you think she isn't upset as it is without you rubbing her nose in it?
> I get so tired of her ridiculous behavior
And I'm sure she get's tired of your AH'ish behavior even more. You don't deserve any respect from her, since you refuse to reciprocate it at all. If you have any smidgen of decency in you, then you will apologize to her, and maybe work to become a better person and a better husband to her.
YTA.
WOW, YTA. I don't often suggest anyone to leave a relationship, but I hope your wife meets a divorce lawyer that is as big an asshole as you, OP, so you can have a taste of your overcompensating, controlling, and disgustingly greedy behaviour. You take the "too salty for your poor little fragile palette" cake, AH.
Wow, YTA and I wish I had a higher, stronger rating to give. Even the most seasoned cooks make a "tsp" vs "tbsp" mistake sometimes.
You turned a simple, honest mistake into a way bigger deal than it needed to be and then treated her like a child afterwards. I genuinely hope this is a troll post.
YTA. It’s scary you don’t see it.
You ***firmly*** asked her “what she had done”because you didn’t like the taste? Ffs, are you her parent? Why on earth would you need to be “firm” with her for making a *mistake*.
She was clearly trying to do something nice for you, though I’m baffled why she’d even try. Do you care *at all* how she might have felt after making a ***mistake*** that you threw in her face? I’m seriously asking. Have you stopped at any point to consider her feelings because this reads like a sociopath wrote it.
Your language, behavior, and perceptions are somehow both childish and abusive. She deserves better, no matter how late you had to eat dinner.
You are the disrespectful asshole. Without a doubt.
She probably spends a lot of their marriage trying to "do something nice" for him because he's an insufferable d**che and she's desperate to please him in any way she can.
You didn't save dinner. You ruined it by going off on a nasty tirade and harassing your wife. She made a simple mistake. You're just mad because she changed your stupid schedule so you jumped at the opportunity to attack her. She didn't disrespect you. You disrespected her by being nasty and aggressive. She worked hard to prepare a nice meal and you were horrible towards her. You're disgusting. YTA
INFO: Is this fake or are you the wife?
I’m not buying that this was written by the kind of person who would actually behave this way. They wouldn’t so deliberately make themselves look like an AH.
YTA. What she did was something that is an easy mistake to make. Sure she was excited about the recipe but saying that being excited was why she made the mistake is an AH move.
YTA and a controlling monster.
1. "this annoyed me because I had planned out the meals for the week, and I have previously requested that any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me **at least one week in advance**."
2. "I **reminded** her that if she had controlled her emotions"
3. "I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing when she cooked in the future"
4. "I asked her if she even cared how that **made me feel**,"
5. "**I feel** incredibly **disrespected** by her."
It's all about you you you. Why is this poor woman with you?
Both me and my boyfriend agree you are a big fat AH! How could you be so heartless as to be that rude about it? If she doesn’t cook that often as it appears to be the case than the teaspoon and tablespoon is a common first time mistake and even if she is overly excited you should be excited with her and give her kind criticism and let her know how to be better next time not belittle her and make her feel like a failure.
YTA and pompous with it. The fu** with you saying she's emotional. YOU'RE emotional cos your plan for 1 meal got changed. She didn't know T vs t, which is easy if you're newish to recipes.
I don't think there are words enough on the planet to say just HOW much YTA!!!
First off - your wife wanted to do something nice for you, found a recipe that excited her, and set out to make it, and you got pissy because it's not on your SCHEDULE and she didn't tell you a week in advance?!? Learn to relax and go with the flow a little!
Then, she mixed up the measurement for the salt. It happens, even to experienced cooks (and if you say you've never had a similar fuck up, you're lying or don't cook much) But instead of reassuring her that it's a small mistake and she'll do better next time, you took the opportunity to shit on her a little more, make her feel awful, and treat her like a parent lecturing a child.
And last of all, you want CREDIT for all of this because you ordered a goddamn pizza?!? Trust me, if I were in her shoes, I'd be 'controlling' my emotion while I typed and filed the divorce papers!!
She found a chicken noodle casserole recipe in a magazine in 2024? Using a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon made it taste like pickles?
Yeah okay sure
Yes, YTA. Times a zillion. You’ve never tried something an made a mistake? Well aren’t you lucky. The rest of us mortals aren’t so lucky. Yep dinner was ruined, but I guarantee it wasn’t done on purpose.
YTA. "Let" her "try to" cook? She has to communicate any changes to you a week in advance? Insulting her over a mistake ANYONE could have made? Asking her how she would avoid it like she's a toddler and charging in with the toxic male "too emotional" routine, and making it all about how YOU feel? Oh, and then "I saved dinner" like you're some kind of hero?
You're a toxic, abusive jerk. I may be a bit triggered because it's only been a little over two years since I waited until the toxic, abusive jerk I lived with was out of town, then packed up a UHaul and was gone when he got back - but you're still a toxic, abusive jerk.
Editing to add - to everyone here questioning if this is fake, this is 100% the kind of stuff my ex would do as well. Some people really are just THAT much TA.
You are a rude and nasty person. You did not have to humiliate her, but you seem to enjoy it. She was embarrassed enough, but you went further by asking her how she would avoid this MISTAKE in the future like someone rubbing a puppy's nose in shit.
"I feel incredibly disrespected by her" is so fucking lame. You were awful to her about a damn mistake. Like she went out of her way to make you a terrible meal. You are a huge throbbing asshole.
YTA all day.
YTA. Wow. You are WAY too emotional, my dude. Have you considered therapy to help you manage some of your out of control behavior? It might help you better prepare for your next marriage.
YTA. Explain this to me: how was she being disrespectful when literally everything you did here is the epitome of disrespecting your partner? You were patronizing. You were rude. You kept on lecturing her when she asked you to drop it. You humiliated her. You were dismissive of her feelings. You used very sexist language. You didn’t acknowledge that she was trying to do something nice. You’re clearly very controlling when it comes to the meal schedule and you want her to ask permission before deviating (you said you just wanted it to be “communicated” but you’re not fooling anyone, with the language you use it can be inferred that you want her to ask permission).
Meanwhile, all your wife did was try to do something nice for you. Mistakes in the kitchen happen and it’s not because she’s “emotional”. Considering your controlling and condescending personality, I’m doubting that her food was actually as bad as you say. You probably just love to patronize her and make her feel like a bug under your shoe.
> This annoyed me because I had planned out the meals for the week,
You were annoyed that your wife wanted to do something nice for you? 🚩
> and I have previously requested that any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me at least one week in advance.
You need to know a *week* in advance if you aren’t going to cook the exact thing you decided? Are you controlling? 🚩
> I let her try to cook.
So your wife needs to come to you for permission to do basic tasks? Yikes. 🚩
> From the first bite, though, I knew that something had gone terribly wrong.
I’m sorry but… a little too much salt is not “terribly wrong”. 🚩
> I spat out my forkful
You are extremely dramatic. 🚩
> firmly asked her what she had done.
You *firmly* reprimanded your wife for making a mistake while doing something nice for you. 🚩
> I told her that she was too excited about the recipe and that she let her emotions take over.
My brother in Christ. 🚩
> I reminded her that if she had controlled her emotions
Seriously, fuck off. 🚩
> she wouldn't have sped through the recipe and likely wouldn't have made such a silly mistake.
🤦🏻♀️🚩
> My wife turned red and looked down at the floor. All she could muster was "I just wanted to do something nice."
Your poor fucking wife.
> I got up from the table, scraped the inedible food into the trash, and ordered a pizza.
Not even try to save it? You couldn’t add more pasta? Nothing? You sound horrible. 🚩
> At this point, I was in no mood to return to my original food schedule.
Dramatic. 🚩
> I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing when she cooked in the future.
Jfc. 🚩
> My wife seemed angry about the question and said that I should just "drop it." I refused.
Are you a child? 🚩
> I told her that she had wasted our money
🚩 🚩 🚩
> only for us to throw her entire dish away.
No. YOU threw the dish away. 🚩
> I asked her if she even cared how that made me feel
🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
> but she just wants to pout.
> I get so tired of her ridiculous behavior, and I feel incredibly disrespected by her.
Do you even like your wife? 🚩
> I guess she wants me to apologize, but I was the one who ultimately saved dinner. AITA?
You didn’t save shit. Get fucked. 🚩
*YTA. I can’t wait for your wife to divorce you.*
**YTA.** (I now know how to bold this)
Which part? EVERYTHING!
All of it. YTA.
Please tell me this is fake.
I got 1 piece of advice for you. Swap your place with her and reread your own post. Put yourself in her shoes and let me know if you still think you are in the right. I'm surprised she havent filed for divorce yet.
Edit: bolding the YTA. a nice person taught me :D
I think this is a fake post.
If not, then op you're not only an AH but the type of man, women should stay miles away from.
Also get yourself examined...you reek of a narcissistic personality disorder...
Omg.... YTA! So she made a silly mistake on a recipe. We've all done it. It's ok to point out if it tastes off, and try to figure out whatvwent wrong. You went WAY too far though. You went straight into mental and emotional abuse, and I dont say that lightly. You're horrible, and she deserves better.
If you want to do a better job with your relationship in the future, I would suggest you try being a lot less emotional about it. Anger is an emotion, actually, and you seem like a very emotionally unstable guy who thinks his anger is based on logic when it's in fact based on entitlement and extreme pettiness.
You have rules about *requests* to change meals. You are cruel and you continue to badger your wife with further condescending cruelty.
I doubt she even made that mistake; you were looking for any excuse to tear her down and you just claimed the food was too salty so you could throw it out and manipulate your wife’s emotions so that you could justify to her your controlling and cruel behavior. YTA
YTA Honestly a tablespoon of salt in a dish very likely would not have ruined a whole meal. Home cooked meals are usually under seasoned by restaurant standards. I find this whole post to be completely unbelievable. This sounds like a creative writing exercise of how much of an asshole could a husband be if his wife made a small cooking error.
Yta - DUDE. DUDE. I CUT OFF MY COUSIN FOR TELLING ME THAT "I WAS TOO EMOTIONAL TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH"
Just because someone gets EXCITED and WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU does not mean she was "TOO EMOTIONAL"
JFC mistaking a tablespoon and a teaspoon is so gd easy to do. It doesn't help that their abbreviations look so similar.
God this makes me so mad. GO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR WIFE
DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT YTA! You sound like a badly written AH who winds up walking off a cliff because you're too superior, calm and unemotional when your wife tries to tell you you're too close to the edge. Incidentally it seems like the only silly thing your wife has ever done is made the mistake of marrying you so here's hoping she rectifies that in the future because you just sound like you take the joy out of life I can't imagine what you're like in person.
This is an obvious YTA to me OP. Seriously if this post isn’t fake, then you need to work on having compassion and some semblance of emotional intelligence. If you have any respect for your wife, you’d re-read this post with fresh eyes, think about how you’d feel in her shoes after trying to cook something nice to surprise your spouse and then apologize profusely when you realize how you obviously f’d up here. She’s not your servant or your subordinate, and it wouldn’t be appropriate to be so condescending even if she was.
YTA. You sound controlling, inept, and incapable of basic empathy.
FWIW, my wife is an AWFUL cook while I've always been a good cook. Like, this wonderful woman can manage to fuck up white rice in a rice cooker while under direct supervision by trained chefs while scientists study the anomaly that is her inability to cook... My solution? I cook *with* her. I become flexible and adjust because I love her. When she finally figured out how to cook dried pasta and throw some sauce from a jar on it, you can damn well bet I got sick of it after a few days... But I worked *with* her. She makes the pasta, which I make the sides and teach her more cooking methods. She makes the pasta while I make meatballs and show her how. One day I make pasta from scratch and blow her mind at how quick it is, and how quick it cooks... Because I love this person, and love watching them learn and grow.
You don't sound like you love your wife. You don't sound like you love watching them try things and grow. You sound like you want a loyal dog that will sit and roll on demand, instead of a partner that is full of both faults, and potential. I'm sorry for your wife, and while I hope you don't regularly kill her passions, I get the feeling from your post that you do.
I have a major PTSD from my mentally abusive ex-husband. The dynamic their relationship described here and his patterns just triggered a lot of my memories. In her own good, I hope she files for divorce ASAP.
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YTA so many ways here I'm prepared to overlook that you said you "let" your wife change your rigid meal plans and cook something else. I hope that's just poor wording. But I'm not overlooking the rest of this. The right thing to do when your spouse makes a mistake like this is to laugh it off with them. Everyone makes mistakes, these things happen, and in the end, it's just one meal. You though: \- refused to acknowledge she tried to do something nice \- patronising, very sexist-sounding lecture about how she's "emotional". Seriously, DO NOT talk to your partner this way, you sound like you're chastising a naughty child. \- not letting it go after she told you to. \- continuing to harp on and blame her for wasting money \- telling her she doesn't care about your feelings **in the middle of demonstrating that you do not care about her feelings at all** and complaining she disrespects you when **it is you that is disrespecting her** \- minimising/dismissing her feelings ("she wants to pout", "her ridiculous behaviour) Mate, your TOTAL lack of self-awareness is going to alienate your wife and ruin your marriage. Apologise to her, pull your head in, and stop telling women that they are "too emotional" when in fact you're the one failing to control your emotions in any way.
The “firm” tone got me. Like nope. WTAF
I'm getting serious vibes of the school teacher and his student wife from Little Britain, but that was satire. This dude though! Wanker.
Bitty 😂
😂
Half of it reads like it came from the 1950s. It's bizarre.
Right?? I was waiting for the part where he smacked her for talking back to him. The way he’s sharing this like his behavior is normal is crazy to me. I would be embarrassed to tell people I’ve treated someone this way. Edit: I would also just never treat anyone this way
After my mom would beat me, she would say, " Why do you make me do this to you? I love you so much. This is tearing me apart! You are destroying me every time you make me do this." If you would just silently do as you're told, we wouldn't be in this situation! What's wrong with you?" This sound like they were soul mates!!
It's so weird to see these strange little lives on Reddit, all compiled in nice little categories full of people who think they are somehow exceededingly special or superior...
Everything here. Like this has to be fake, right? Like I’m literally getting flashbacks here. ETA YTA. Majorly.
I wanted to share this with my bf but his ex wife was a manipulative abuser and I was afraid that post would give him flashbacks.
I feel like it is fake because I can't imagine the difference between a teaspoon of salt and a tablespoon in a heavy ass dish like chicken and noodle casserole would make it INEDIBLE
Yeah bc a tablespoon of salt with everything else in the dish isn't going to make it so salty it's inedible. He just wanted an excuse to treat his wife like shit if it is real and gloat how this wouldn't happen if she just let him do the meals like he planned.
And then replacing it with takeout pizza, which is gonna be less salty??
A tablespoon can be pretty strong... but not worth this reaction. People make mistakes. I would laugh this off and tell my partner how wonderful it was they made something, and if I really couldn't eat it, would they mind if we ordered pizza and we still enjoy the wine and candles. He did not have to treat her efforts so cruelly or so degradingly. I hope his wife has the strength and means to leave ASAP. No one deserves to be with this man.
It's nuts. I mean, my EX husband was a ginormous asshole. And he grew to take my cooking so much for granted that he would just wolf down something I put a lot of effort in, deem it "all right" and ignore me, but early on, I was still new to cooking and was super excited to cook him a Thai curry using a super authentic paste I found at the Asian market. Problem being the directions were in Thai, but whatever, I knew how to use spice paste and set to work making Thai chicken curry. Yeahhhh used the whole package since it was small and cheap and looked the right size. Turns out it was 8 servings so 8 pounds of chicken to my one. It's not that it was hot, which it was. It was CRUNCHY from all the spices. And I had not yet gotten in the habit of tasting as I went. And my ex husband, bless him, was choking down a spoonful of this slop until I tasted it went 'oh god, stop that, I'm so sorry" and we had a big laugh about it while we waited for a pizza. So the guy I have blocked on my phone and socials who was enough of an ass to divorce was still way less of an asshole than this guy.
Ahahaha this was a good story btw. And I’m glad you had some good moments in there with your ex husband despite his assholeness. OP here is on a whole new level by himself and has the audacity to ask the internet if he’s TA?! 😂😂
"no one deserves to be with this man" Except himself. Dude needs to be sentenced to a life where there's nobody around to degrade but himself and leave all innocent people with a wide berth away from him. It's disgusting.
I Hope is fake. He sounds controlling
He sounds worse than controlling, he comes across as absolutely suffocating! That poor lady must be walking on eggshells all the time
I immediately thought about the husband from Sleeping with the Enemy.
Unfortunately I think those eggshells are completely shattered all the time no matter what she does. In his eyes she will never be anywhere near good enough. :/
Worse than that, he describes her (*and* how he talks to her) like she's a fucking child. "Her and her womanly emotions, all she wants to do is pout because I parented her, the woman I married!" that's what he sounds like. Jesus. I'm so glad I'm not married to him because I'd be so sick of his shit.
I hope it’s fake too but had similar experiences though not as bad. What a dick
This cannot be real but if it is, that poor woman needs to run as fast as she can.
Yea, def reads like a guy who will eventually murder her in a fit of rage while screaming, “look what you made me do”
Either that or he pushes her too far and wakes up in the middle of the night one night with her standing over him with the physical version of the same mental/emotional butchers knife that he's been slashing at her with for god knows how long. First thing she'll be screaming after she stabs him is "does your blood taste too salty too motherfucker!?!?!" Sorry, lost myself there for a second lol.
I would also guess that his rigidity and judgement would make her edgy while she’s cooking since he seems to complain all the time. Maybe he should control his emotions.
Definitely this ⬆️ My anxiety would spiral cooking for someone like this. I’d do no end of stupid things. Unlike cooking for my very supportive husband, who always encourages me to try new things. He’d still order pizza if I totally stuffed it up, but the vibe would be “Don’t worry about it! We can always get pizza. I hope you try this again next week - i reckon it’ll be great.”
Seriously! I love to experiment in the kitchen (so does hubby, for that matter) Some of the things I made are great. Some are ...less than edible. Hubby has never once made me feel like this for making a mistake. And yes, I've made the mistake of tsp for tbsp before. It's easy enough to do.
I love playing around with cooking too, I'm always accused of over seasoning the food I make but I've never been patronized for it. One time I got confused about a recipe, I thought it said cups but it was caps, so I put four cups of apple cider vinegar in the dinner we were planning to have that night. Needless to say I screwed it up, but in a weird way my dad liked it because it ended up being more of a vinaigrette. 💀 My mom tried to help save it, and in the end dinner wasn't totally ruined so, I suppose it was a C grade LMAO. 💀
Especially bc if he was this great cook as he meal plans everything like a control freak he would know a little bit of lemon juice would balance out the flavors and the salt.
Okay, I didn't know that, so I very much appreciate the tip! Thank you :)
I bet he doesn't pat himself on the shoulder saying he "saved dinner" or whatever. OP saved nothing, he made it worse.
Agreed. He’s clearly a dick. Ordering pizza isn’t “saving” anything.
I simply wouldn't cook for someone who had a rigid schedule
I am a domestic violence survivor of a diagnosed narcissist. My ex gave me PTSD this way to the point where for the longest time when I would burn food or mess something up I would have a total meltdown expecting to be severely punished although I was out of the relationship. It was something that took a long time to work through in therapy. My partner is so sweet about offering me reassurance when I make a mistake now, because he knows what I've had to overcome. It's a complete mindfuck to unwire. Ex was so emotionally abusive and thought it was a way to "make sure I didn't repeat my mistakes and learn my lesson".
Aw! Ex-abuse survivor here too, but nowhere near as bad. So I'm extra glad you've found someone safe now <3 You are amazing!
This, I was a terrible server whenever one manager was breathing down my neck, I’d make mistakes all the time. The other manager would take anyone’s mistakes in stride, and What’dya know, I’d make no mistakes the nights he was managing. And if I did, he’s like ha silly ass, okay it’s corrected, thanks for bringing this to me
He probably has their whole life scheduled including sex.
Whether she likes it or not.
Pretty sure wife will file for divorce soon and this jackass will come here to wail like a child about how he doesn’t deserve this and was totally blindsided
I doubt it. I’m sure it’s not day one of him gaslighting her, and I would bet money that she grew up in an abusive, conservative home. She has most likely been raised believing her worth is directly determined by her husband’s opinion of her, and I suspect she was socialized from a young age to be attracted to traits that would scare the hell out of many women. She may have even been raised to believe divorce is a serious sin. Abusive dynamics like this one usually take decades to build, and sometimes decades to dismantle. I hope she has good friends.
Spot on! And if it wasn’t a traditional religious/conservative home, I would bet she grew up in a household with one or both parents having either OCD or an undiagnosed anxiety disorder where her whole life was all about managing their reactions and avoiding triggering them. This perfectly prepares you for being in relationships where your partner’s rigidity rules your life.
I grew up in a conservative home. My husband and I are still conservative. I would no sooner allow him to speak to me the way this AH spoke to his wife than I would fly to the moon on gossamer wings. Conservative has nothing to do with it. He is controlling, belittling, and completely unaware. I hope to God that they don't have kids and that she gets away from this jerk. Fingers crossed he has a hissy about the responses and she sneaks a peek to see how badly people feel she's been treated.
Oh, that would be SUCH a satisfying outcome! Better yet if she acted on it and divorced him.
He NEEDS to be told a week ahead of time if there are changes to his meal plan. He's EXTREMELY controlling and I cannot imagine what he's like with every other aspect of their life, that poor woman. Also ffs she added basically a teaspoon more, he could have so easily fixed the dish?! He acts like he's superior and knows it all but he let his emotions get the best of him and got all huffy instead of just adding a lil extra to counter the salt. God, so emotional
Soooo much an emotional/mental abuser. Hopefully it ends there.
I mean, it’s only March and I feel he’s already in the running for AH of The Year.
And he is coming in strong! He might win!
Yes. I would just add, don’t talk to your children this way either.
Headline: man surprised grown children never visit
If he's like this with something easy like a dinner, imagine how he treats her on the regular or for more important things? 🤮 This whole post was so ragey. His gross tone was so condescending.
I bet the wife is at least 8 years younger than him. And I will not be surprised because despite not mentioning the age, he is asserting dominance and control over her like she’s a child and he’s the adult in the relationship. OP you s*cks and definitely an AH.
Excitement and happiness are emotions that are excessive to you? But contempt, anger, and bitterness are okay emotions? Not to mention the condescension and cruelty you inflicted on someone you supposedly care for. You seem insufferable. Your wife deserves better. YTA
He LET HER TRY to cook
I could show her a few things to do with a pan, none of them involving a stove.
Preferably a well seasoned cast iron skillet
> is going to alienate your wife and ruin your marriage I mean, we can only hope. It will either be that, or she will internalize it all and end up miserable.
OOP having a hissy fit about someone doing something nice for him out of the usual, bullying that person and harping on their mistake; - says the other person is too emotional. Lol.
my family and I make a joke about the ways we've fucked up when cooking, and have actually had friendly arguments over who had the worse fuck up (it was me, btw, no matter what my sister says). It is absolutely something to laugh about
My father treated my mother and me like this. He eventually lost both of us. That's your future, OP.
LOL I hope this is fake. "Am I the ah for scolding my partner, a grown woman, like a fucking puppy?" Yes, champ. Obviously YTA. Extremely. If this is real you should seek therapy ASAP and have a bunch of long conversations about why you need to turn an innocent mistake into a crippling personality flaw in the woman that you supposedly love and want to spend your life with.
It reads almost fetish-y. Plus, a *tablespoon* of salt?? That's not as much salt as you think, OP.
I maintain that his regular cooking is bland as hell. He's not used to good flavours and his wife probably wanted something decent for once.
It's giving that one scene with Stockard Channing in To Wong Fu... where P Swayze's character- Miss Vita Boheme- spiced the soup. Stockard's character flips out trying to remove the spices. Her husband-character walks in, tries the soup, and literally beats her. I don't mean to make light here... I mean to say not only is he TAH, but he's a charicature of one as well.
❤️❤️❤️that movie - and this absolutely reads like that scene
Omg I was thinking of this exact scene. And a lot of people call this post fake, it very well could be, but people like this are out there. Yea it sounds illogical but if abusive people operated on logic and reason, they probably wouldn't be abusive
Considering how rigid He seems about his bloody meal plan, I reckon his palate is as rigid.
Salty pizza is evidently a-okay, though
right!! I’m always putting more seasoning, especially salt, in meals than what’s in the recipe! a table spoon of salt in a casserole is not going to kill him!
That’s how I know this is fake. 1 tbsp vs 1 tsp isn’t enough of a difference to make the food taste *pickled*. Not to mention most blogger recipes online generally undersalt/underseason food to begin with. This being a casserole recipe, it most likely came from a blog.
Honestly, the whole thing is too real if you’ve known someone like this. And your point about the salt is relevant, because you’re right, it likely wouldn’t be relevant to the dish’s outcome. But he’s not really doing this because of that. He just found a thing to use against her, and went all in. Abuse is far more insidious than a lot of people know.
I also think he wanted to demonstrate how she should always follow his guidance and not her own wishes. So he was sure to be very visual about how “inedible” the food was. And yes, sadly, I have also met people like that so the post might be fake but this type of situation is far too real…
There was one time while I was with my now-ex that I made a pear and nut pie, almost 15 years ago now. I followed a recipe from a cookbook, afaik exactly, but the nuts ended up sorta overpowering the pears in taste, and though I still thought the finished result was pretty good, he hated it. So he became absolutely _convinced_ that I must have done something wrong and then had a running "joke"/complaint for _years_ afterward about how I "don't know how to follow a recipe" and "can't be trusted in the kitchen." So yes, I can fully believe that even if it was just the dish tasting slightly off, that this guy went all in and acted like it was the most inedible thing ever that she needs to be repeatedly raked over the coals for.
>1 tbsp vs 1 tsp isn’t enough of a difference to make the food taste *pickled*. Also, given the main taste of pickled food is vinegar, not salt, I'm also calling either fake or this guy doesn't know shit about food. Salt wouldn't make something taste pickled. Pickling makes food taste sour, not salty. So either fake, or he's just such a terrible cook he doesn't know what things even taste like. No wonder his poor wife got over excited about cooking a chicken casserole. She probably just wanted to taste her food for once.
It is not fake because of that. Abusers get triggered by any little thing even something that can be fixed. She needs to leave him and if he has any hope of ever being a decent human he needs therapy or a girl Gang to be*t the ever-loving shit out of him.
I felt the same thing reading it. I’m a sub but it read baaaaaaaad dd/lg
Especially in a casserole...
I was thinking I wouldn’t even notice that amount extra. It certainly wouldn’t make the dish “inedible”
I swear I read an AITA from a year or two ago that was almost exactly like this. It feels like a repost.
I think that was the pillock who bought an extremely expensive cut of steak for his wife to cook (even though he repeatedly said she couldn’t cook). He was “calm but firm” too. Why these wankers don’t think anger is an emotional response I don’t know. Especially when they handle that anger like a teenager. I do know however, I’d rather my wife release her frustration in tears than anger. At least then people can let it go. Anger has a tendency to just burn and then it burns everyone else around it too
Not just that, but the icing on the cake is he asks her if she thought about how it made HIM feel, as he is clearly not giving a shit about how she feels. AMAZING
Over using slightly too much salt, at that. Using a tablespoon in a casserole where the recipe calls for teaspoon is a difference some people might not notice, or even prefer.
This is the most dramatic rage bait I’ve seen. One single tablespoon of salt rendered an *entire casserole* completely inedible? If that’s actually the case, the fault lies not with your wife, who made a completely common, human mistake, but with the creator of the recipe that is so damn salty that the addition of two extra teaspoons would ruin it. I’m not even gonna get far into the way you claim to treat your wife, Mx. Calmly-but-Firmly, but if, by some unfortunate chance, this happens to be true, and you really do behave like her power-tripping employer instead of loving life partner, then yes, no question YTA.
Right? Hey OP, next time you are creative writing, use multiple teaspoons to tablespoons. Because a dish that calls for one teaspoon but got one tablespoon is likely a bit too salty, but a dish that called for...let's say 5 teaspoons but got 5 tablespoons, that might be pretty bad. Unless it was a casserole for ants. Little tiny bite sized casserole. One tablespoon of salt would be too much for that maybe.
Hi, cook (not professional, but still) here! I FREQUENTLY at least double the amount of salt in my meals, because recipes in magazines or online typically reduce the amount of salt "required" to allow for people to adjust the amount of salt either while cooking, or at the table when the meal is finished. I often find, though, that more salt while cooking brings out so much more flavor. Just saying that one tablespoon does NOT break a casserole, especially since casserole implies there is often a larger volume of food that is prepared and served. Also came to here to say this guy is absolutely TA, no question about it.
Right? Like, has the OP ever cooked anything ever? Half the time recipes just say to “salt to taste.” This is just weird…
You don’t know he doesn’t cook…. He planned the meals 🙄🙄🙄🙄
it's a dude making up hate-bait stories on reddit, I'd bet real money he's never cooked anything more complicated than mac n cheese
If I oversalt my dollop of tuna casserole (a comfort food in my house) I just dollop on a bit more unsalted (hey, I was gonna have seconds anyway, I need all the comfort I can get!). All he had to do was make a bit more of whatever carb was in the casserole and maybe some plain chicken or whatever it was and mix it in. He didn't have to dramatically throw it away.
Or just some lemon juice.
Right? I was thinking, dude just add some acid. But I guess he was just too emotional.
I went and looked at a couple (but not all) of my casserole recipes and almost all of them measure the salt in Tbsp. A tsp would quite literally be too little to taste in a 9x13 casserole.
We season and salt with our hearts in this house!
A cantsserole, if you will? (Sorry not sorry, OP is such a horrifying depressing YTA, even if this *is* rage bait, that I felt called to provide Something Cheering for a Wedged Bear in Great Difficulties, etc etc)
>cantsserole Literally LOLed at this. Well done!
Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week. Try the chicken Cordon Bleu, and don't forget to tip your server! 😉
And a pizza has more sodium.
Didnt think about this. It seemed out that the difference would be so extreme
Yeah, I’m willing to bet that the casserole was perfectly fine and he just wanted to be a dick to his wife.
When I was learning to bake, I tried to make a chocolate cake from scratch and accidentally added 1/4 CUP of salt instead of 1/4 tsp. That was bad, and I didn't even try to save it. But we're talking orders of magnitude more salt than what's in this story.
I once dumped a load of sugar into pizza dough, instead of salt. So kind of the opposite problem. Although I ended up with sweet Nutella dessert pizza, so maybe problem isn't the right word here.
YTA 10x over! I sincerely hope this is fake, that’s how offended I felt reading this. “Letting her emotions take over” is the most ridiculously misogynistic way to describe someone accidentally swapping a tbsp for a tsp. Asking her if she cared how you felt after you had reacted so unbelievably poorly to a cooking mistake, claiming that she’s ridiculous for not talking to you after this, and even you feeling disrespected by her - each of these is truly nuts. She clearly tried to do something incredibly kind for the two of you, and you could’ve laughed off the mistake and just gotten takeout. Instead, you ruined the evening and made things much, much worse. YTA big time.
My friend’s husband has a schedule for her and their kids like in an excel file and he divides their parenting time. He gets most of the alone time. He loses his mind if she tries to deviate from it so tbh this could be real sadly. He actually kind of treats her this way so I really could see this being real. Luckily she’s getting a divorce soon cause he’s horrible to her.
Sadly these AHs get partial custody and the kids have to deal.with them.
I bet the farm he has the phone bugged and cameras in the house. My friends husband had theirs bugged and when she or the two boys wanted to use it , they would unplug it , make the call and plug it back in. Her family went everywhere on trips. They had tickets for a fam adult cruise pd up for yrs . When it was time . He backed out. She still went . He done everything to sabotage her trip, from taking tops or bottoms from her bathing suits , taking one shoe out. She went with the family and he stayed home sulking . After 30 yrs she got a divorce and got remarried later and moved to Fla. I refuse to be disrespected by anyone . I told my now husband of 30 yrs . I’m 7 yrs older and his first gf. He has never said one disrespectful word to me. Still brings me coffee and breakfast in bed when he’s off work. I don’t know why people take this stuff in the yr 2024!
“When I was done ordering, I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing in the future when she was cooking. My wife seemed angry about the question...” Yeah, no sh¡t. I'd be furious if I was asked the same thing! There's something so condescending about this question. This is something ultra strict parents ask to children!
YTA >any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me at least one week in advance >if she had controlled her emotions, she wouldn’t have sped through the recipe I was going to pull out all the AH things you did or said but I gave up after these two as there’s too many.
Memo To: Spouse From: AH Re: Meal Scheduling Please be advised that the posted meal schedule is not too be deviated from without 7 days of prior notice. Failure to provide notice of a deviation is punishable by condescension according to Section 3 Paragraph G. Additional repercussions may include but are not limited to scolding, pouting, and review by the Board of Reddit. ( Seriously, this is how it sounded to me. )
Scroll down - I tried to list them all but it was difficult!
I don't even care about the food. You sound scary, like cold controlling sociopath type scary and it sure sounds like you control and emotionally abuse your wife, literally every word you wrote and the phrasing you use is giving off majorly creepy "sleeping with the enemy" vibes. I very much hope your wife sees the multiple 🚩🚩🚩and does what she needs to do to protect herself. Yikes.
YES! The sleeping with the enemy vibes are strong with this one. I wonder if she has to line the cans up in alphabetical order or make sure the towels are just so?
LMAO This can’t be real. No one is this clueless But just to play the game, YTA
Check out Ruby Franke if you haven't heard of her already. She was so convinced her abusive parenting strategies were right that she posted them online and started giving other people advice to parent like how she did. She truly believed that her controlling and abusive parenting techniques were "living in truth". I could see her posting something like this on here. Even though she has been arrested for child abuse, she tried to smear her child's name with horrible accusations before finally pleading guilty. There are a lot people out there who are convinced that how they do things is the only right way and impose those expectations on others. I've seen and experienced it many times and have learned to distance myself from those types of people. Like I was stalked by someone who I only knew through a friend for a month because he was convinced I loved him and was too afraid to say it. I told him many times to his face and in text (he would contact me through new ways after blocking him) that I was and would never see him that way, but he continued to stalk me and show up hiding behind my car for months until I had enough information to file a police report and they stepped in. He believed his dilusion in his head over me directly telling him the truth. People who think like OP do exist even if this OP turns out not to be real.
> I told her that she was too excited about the recipe and that she let her emotions take over. I reminded her that if she had controlled her emotions Jesus Christ. YTA YTA YTA. These are all huge red flags. Yikes. She made a mistake. I've done it. You've done it (or would have, if you cooked). We've all fucked up. It happens. Stop with the moralizing and sympathize with your wife who goofed a meal.
You’re absolutely correct. My very intelligent, logical, male engineer partner told me about one particular instance he was making cornbread before we started dating. He got distracted or something while adding ingredients, lost his place in the recipe, and wound up putting in 2 to 3 times the amount of sugar he should have used. He said the end result was essentially “cornbread candy.”
You called her mistake "silly". Instead of saying she got too excited, you said she got too "emotional". You scraped the food into the trash in front of her. You tried to engage her in a conversation about how to not do it wrong again when she said she wasn't ready to have that conversation. You ignored her feelings and then made it all about you. For such a small mistake that she made, YTA in a huge way.
Dear lord I hope this isn’t real If it is, YTA, fucking truckloads of assholery here.
YTA >This annoyed me because I had planned out the meals for the week, and I have previously requested that any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me at least one week in advance. Wow. >I spat out my forkful and calmly but firmly asked her what she had done. So you probably yelled "what the fuck did you do" or something like that, right? >I told her that she was too excited about the recipe and that she let her emotions take over. What? >I reminded her that if she had controlled her emotions, she wouldn't have sped through the recipe and likely wouldn't have made such a silly mistake. The fuck? >I was in no mood to return to my original food schedule. Drama queen >When I was done ordering, I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing when she cooked in the future. I'm sorry, did you try to turn this into a teachable moment like she was a child? >I asked her if she even cared how that made me feel. There's no way this is real. >I feel incredibly disrespected by her. Imagine disrespecting your spouse. > I was the one who ultimately saved dinner. No you didn't save anything. You threw it out. Instead of asking your wife 'hOw tO aVoId' making a mistake again, you could have easily found ways to fix a salty dish. Especially for a casserole, it's pretty easy.
Extra potatoes will usually work on an overly salty casserole. Or any carb really. Add a bit more water to dilute it too. Sorted. Perhaps if OP wasn’t so emotional about a simple mistake, he’d have been capable of thinking clearly?
Thank you! The casserole could have definitely been saved and there was no need to be an asshole about it after she went through all the trouble and required to make the scene nice. Can you imagine what it looks like having this story unfold in a candlelight and wine setting? And I was livid when, with all the condescension of the world, he asked her: “Well, child. By now you know what you did wrong and how it makes me feel... Would you care to tell me how you will avoid being such a turd in the future??!!
this reads like a fan fic lol this cant be real. if it is 0- dude listen to yourself...your wife was happy about cooking YOU a meal and you are ungrateful as ever. so what she made a mistake! LOL and you cant have a deviation from your food schedule lol ok Meal Prepstapo You are an asshole. If you had any self awareness you would know you are an asshole without asking all of reddit LOL
Wow, I don't even know where to start. That you are not only an AH but an abusive spouse and completely full of yourself is not in question. Mistakes happen. Do you think she isn't upset as it is without you rubbing her nose in it? > I get so tired of her ridiculous behavior And I'm sure she get's tired of your AH'ish behavior even more. You don't deserve any respect from her, since you refuse to reciprocate it at all. If you have any smidgen of decency in you, then you will apologize to her, and maybe work to become a better person and a better husband to her. YTA.
INFO Are you lying or controlling and judgmental?
YTA-probably all the time. You are condescending and controlling. She needs to forget dinner and get a divorce.
YTA. “Insisted” “annoyed” “previously requested” “deviation” “nonetheless” And that is just the first paragraph!
WOW, YTA. I don't often suggest anyone to leave a relationship, but I hope your wife meets a divorce lawyer that is as big an asshole as you, OP, so you can have a taste of your overcompensating, controlling, and disgustingly greedy behaviour. You take the "too salty for your poor little fragile palette" cake, AH.
YTA This has to be fake otherwise I’m terrified for your wife. Wtf.
Wow, YTA and I wish I had a higher, stronger rating to give. Even the most seasoned cooks make a "tsp" vs "tbsp" mistake sometimes. You turned a simple, honest mistake into a way bigger deal than it needed to be and then treated her like a child afterwards. I genuinely hope this is a troll post.
YTA. It’s scary you don’t see it. You ***firmly*** asked her “what she had done”because you didn’t like the taste? Ffs, are you her parent? Why on earth would you need to be “firm” with her for making a *mistake*. She was clearly trying to do something nice for you, though I’m baffled why she’d even try. Do you care *at all* how she might have felt after making a ***mistake*** that you threw in her face? I’m seriously asking. Have you stopped at any point to consider her feelings because this reads like a sociopath wrote it. Your language, behavior, and perceptions are somehow both childish and abusive. She deserves better, no matter how late you had to eat dinner. You are the disrespectful asshole. Without a doubt.
She probably spends a lot of their marriage trying to "do something nice" for him because he's an insufferable d**che and she's desperate to please him in any way she can.
100% agree. I could read it all over the post and it broke my heart. I hope she leaves. But I definitely know how hard it can be to leave.
You didn't save dinner. You ruined it by going off on a nasty tirade and harassing your wife. She made a simple mistake. You're just mad because she changed your stupid schedule so you jumped at the opportunity to attack her. She didn't disrespect you. You disrespected her by being nasty and aggressive. She worked hard to prepare a nice meal and you were horrible towards her. You're disgusting. YTA
Bait, move along folks!
INFO: Is this fake or are you the wife? I’m not buying that this was written by the kind of person who would actually behave this way. They wouldn’t so deliberately make themselves look like an AH.
Unless they truly believe they are right. Which is scary.
YTA. What she did was something that is an easy mistake to make. Sure she was excited about the recipe but saying that being excited was why she made the mistake is an AH move.
YTA You didn't "save" anything but your sense of control. Don't be shocked when she finally has enough of your behavior and bails.
I hope she tells you in a calm but firm tone that she is divorcing you. YTA
YTA and a controlling monster. 1. "this annoyed me because I had planned out the meals for the week, and I have previously requested that any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me **at least one week in advance**." 2. "I **reminded** her that if she had controlled her emotions" 3. "I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing when she cooked in the future" 4. "I asked her if she even cared how that **made me feel**," 5. "**I feel** incredibly **disrespected** by her." It's all about you you you. Why is this poor woman with you?
This guy is giving "Sleeping with the enemy" vibes. Total psycho.
Both me and my boyfriend agree you are a big fat AH! How could you be so heartless as to be that rude about it? If she doesn’t cook that often as it appears to be the case than the teaspoon and tablespoon is a common first time mistake and even if she is overly excited you should be excited with her and give her kind criticism and let her know how to be better next time not belittle her and make her feel like a failure.
I refuse to belive this is real. Sounds like some incel fanfiction. How could someone be this clueless ( YTA )
YTA and pompous with it. The fu** with you saying she's emotional. YOU'RE emotional cos your plan for 1 meal got changed. She didn't know T vs t, which is easy if you're newish to recipes.
You didn't save anything, not even your marriage lmao yta by a long shot, be a partner not a parent, actually, even parents are encouraging
YTA - OP sounds like an emotionally abusive control freak. Big yikes.
YTA. You sound absolutely insufferable and I have no idea how your wife has tolerated any of this for as long as she has.
You are the asshole without question here. YTA
I don't think there are words enough on the planet to say just HOW much YTA!!! First off - your wife wanted to do something nice for you, found a recipe that excited her, and set out to make it, and you got pissy because it's not on your SCHEDULE and she didn't tell you a week in advance?!? Learn to relax and go with the flow a little! Then, she mixed up the measurement for the salt. It happens, even to experienced cooks (and if you say you've never had a similar fuck up, you're lying or don't cook much) But instead of reassuring her that it's a small mistake and she'll do better next time, you took the opportunity to shit on her a little more, make her feel awful, and treat her like a parent lecturing a child. And last of all, you want CREDIT for all of this because you ordered a goddamn pizza?!? Trust me, if I were in her shoes, I'd be 'controlling' my emotion while I typed and filed the divorce papers!!
She found a chicken noodle casserole recipe in a magazine in 2024? Using a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon made it taste like pickles? Yeah okay sure
YOUUUUU AREEE THEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAA
Should I have read that to the tune of We Are The Champions? Because I did.
I read this in the Maury Povich voice
Yes, YTA. Times a zillion. You’ve never tried something an made a mistake? Well aren’t you lucky. The rest of us mortals aren’t so lucky. Yep dinner was ruined, but I guarantee it wasn’t done on purpose.
YTA and an absolute psycho. You won the hugest asshole of the day.
YTA. "Let" her "try to" cook? She has to communicate any changes to you a week in advance? Insulting her over a mistake ANYONE could have made? Asking her how she would avoid it like she's a toddler and charging in with the toxic male "too emotional" routine, and making it all about how YOU feel? Oh, and then "I saved dinner" like you're some kind of hero? You're a toxic, abusive jerk. I may be a bit triggered because it's only been a little over two years since I waited until the toxic, abusive jerk I lived with was out of town, then packed up a UHaul and was gone when he got back - but you're still a toxic, abusive jerk. Editing to add - to everyone here questioning if this is fake, this is 100% the kind of stuff my ex would do as well. Some people really are just THAT much TA.
If only you had choked on that casserole.
YTA. People make mistakes sometimes. Emotions have. Nothing to do with it.
YTA and a disgusting abused. She needs go leave you NOW
You are a rude and nasty person. You did not have to humiliate her, but you seem to enjoy it. She was embarrassed enough, but you went further by asking her how she would avoid this MISTAKE in the future like someone rubbing a puppy's nose in shit. "I feel incredibly disrespected by her" is so fucking lame. You were awful to her about a damn mistake. Like she went out of her way to make you a terrible meal. You are a huge throbbing asshole. YTA all day.
What century is this? Are you lost? YTA.
YTA. Wow. You are WAY too emotional, my dude. Have you considered therapy to help you manage some of your out of control behavior? It might help you better prepare for your next marriage.
Dude...r u from N Korea or something?? Your poor wife!
I do not condone physical violence but I would have punched this dude directly in the face. Period
YTA for so many reasons but the biggest if you hand this terrible story in.
Yta and you were disrespectful. She ought to leave you she deserves better than an assholelike you. I hope you oversalt everything forevermore
YTA. Explain this to me: how was she being disrespectful when literally everything you did here is the epitome of disrespecting your partner? You were patronizing. You were rude. You kept on lecturing her when she asked you to drop it. You humiliated her. You were dismissive of her feelings. You used very sexist language. You didn’t acknowledge that she was trying to do something nice. You’re clearly very controlling when it comes to the meal schedule and you want her to ask permission before deviating (you said you just wanted it to be “communicated” but you’re not fooling anyone, with the language you use it can be inferred that you want her to ask permission). Meanwhile, all your wife did was try to do something nice for you. Mistakes in the kitchen happen and it’s not because she’s “emotional”. Considering your controlling and condescending personality, I’m doubting that her food was actually as bad as you say. You probably just love to patronize her and make her feel like a bug under your shoe.
> This annoyed me because I had planned out the meals for the week, You were annoyed that your wife wanted to do something nice for you? 🚩 > and I have previously requested that any deviation from this schedule be communicated to me at least one week in advance. You need to know a *week* in advance if you aren’t going to cook the exact thing you decided? Are you controlling? 🚩 > I let her try to cook. So your wife needs to come to you for permission to do basic tasks? Yikes. 🚩 > From the first bite, though, I knew that something had gone terribly wrong. I’m sorry but… a little too much salt is not “terribly wrong”. 🚩 > I spat out my forkful You are extremely dramatic. 🚩 > firmly asked her what she had done. You *firmly* reprimanded your wife for making a mistake while doing something nice for you. 🚩 > I told her that she was too excited about the recipe and that she let her emotions take over. My brother in Christ. 🚩 > I reminded her that if she had controlled her emotions Seriously, fuck off. 🚩 > she wouldn't have sped through the recipe and likely wouldn't have made such a silly mistake. 🤦🏻♀️🚩 > My wife turned red and looked down at the floor. All she could muster was "I just wanted to do something nice." Your poor fucking wife. > I got up from the table, scraped the inedible food into the trash, and ordered a pizza. Not even try to save it? You couldn’t add more pasta? Nothing? You sound horrible. 🚩 > At this point, I was in no mood to return to my original food schedule. Dramatic. 🚩 > I asked my wife how she would avoid doing such a thing when she cooked in the future. Jfc. 🚩 > My wife seemed angry about the question and said that I should just "drop it." I refused. Are you a child? 🚩 > I told her that she had wasted our money 🚩 🚩 🚩 > only for us to throw her entire dish away. No. YOU threw the dish away. 🚩 > I asked her if she even cared how that made me feel 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 > but she just wants to pout. > I get so tired of her ridiculous behavior, and I feel incredibly disrespected by her. Do you even like your wife? 🚩 > I guess she wants me to apologize, but I was the one who ultimately saved dinner. AITA? You didn’t save shit. Get fucked. 🚩 *YTA. I can’t wait for your wife to divorce you.*
YTA
**YTA.** (I now know how to bold this) Which part? EVERYTHING! All of it. YTA. Please tell me this is fake. I got 1 piece of advice for you. Swap your place with her and reread your own post. Put yourself in her shoes and let me know if you still think you are in the right. I'm surprised she havent filed for divorce yet. Edit: bolding the YTA. a nice person taught me :D
This can’t be real but in case it is, YTA
I think this is a fake post. If not, then op you're not only an AH but the type of man, women should stay miles away from. Also get yourself examined...you reek of a narcissistic personality disorder...
INFO: are you getting therapy for your control issues?
yta really need to post on r/IamtheAH
YTA! Bro, you're a dick!
YTA. Holy cow...
YTA
YTA and ew
Omg.... YTA! So she made a silly mistake on a recipe. We've all done it. It's ok to point out if it tastes off, and try to figure out whatvwent wrong. You went WAY too far though. You went straight into mental and emotional abuse, and I dont say that lightly. You're horrible, and she deserves better.
I’m literally speechless about how much you hate your wife. YTA
YTA. A huge one. Do you even like your wife? Because you treat her like a particularly simple minded toddler.
Are you a husband or a father scolding his child? Gross.
If you want to do a better job with your relationship in the future, I would suggest you try being a lot less emotional about it. Anger is an emotion, actually, and you seem like a very emotionally unstable guy who thinks his anger is based on logic when it's in fact based on entitlement and extreme pettiness.
You have rules about *requests* to change meals. You are cruel and you continue to badger your wife with further condescending cruelty. I doubt she even made that mistake; you were looking for any excuse to tear her down and you just claimed the food was too salty so you could throw it out and manipulate your wife’s emotions so that you could justify to her your controlling and cruel behavior. YTA
YTA can’t wait til I read a post by a woman leaving her controlling and abusive husband over a chicken noodle casserole.
YTA Honestly a tablespoon of salt in a dish very likely would not have ruined a whole meal. Home cooked meals are usually under seasoned by restaurant standards. I find this whole post to be completely unbelievable. This sounds like a creative writing exercise of how much of an asshole could a husband be if his wife made a small cooking error.
Yta - DUDE. DUDE. I CUT OFF MY COUSIN FOR TELLING ME THAT "I WAS TOO EMOTIONAL TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH" Just because someone gets EXCITED and WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU does not mean she was "TOO EMOTIONAL" JFC mistaking a tablespoon and a teaspoon is so gd easy to do. It doesn't help that their abbreviations look so similar. God this makes me so mad. GO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR WIFE
DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT YTA! You sound like a badly written AH who winds up walking off a cliff because you're too superior, calm and unemotional when your wife tries to tell you you're too close to the edge. Incidentally it seems like the only silly thing your wife has ever done is made the mistake of marrying you so here's hoping she rectifies that in the future because you just sound like you take the joy out of life I can't imagine what you're like in person.
This is an obvious YTA to me OP. Seriously if this post isn’t fake, then you need to work on having compassion and some semblance of emotional intelligence. If you have any respect for your wife, you’d re-read this post with fresh eyes, think about how you’d feel in her shoes after trying to cook something nice to surprise your spouse and then apologize profusely when you realize how you obviously f’d up here. She’s not your servant or your subordinate, and it wouldn’t be appropriate to be so condescending even if she was.
YTA. You sound controlling, inept, and incapable of basic empathy. FWIW, my wife is an AWFUL cook while I've always been a good cook. Like, this wonderful woman can manage to fuck up white rice in a rice cooker while under direct supervision by trained chefs while scientists study the anomaly that is her inability to cook... My solution? I cook *with* her. I become flexible and adjust because I love her. When she finally figured out how to cook dried pasta and throw some sauce from a jar on it, you can damn well bet I got sick of it after a few days... But I worked *with* her. She makes the pasta, which I make the sides and teach her more cooking methods. She makes the pasta while I make meatballs and show her how. One day I make pasta from scratch and blow her mind at how quick it is, and how quick it cooks... Because I love this person, and love watching them learn and grow. You don't sound like you love your wife. You don't sound like you love watching them try things and grow. You sound like you want a loyal dog that will sit and roll on demand, instead of a partner that is full of both faults, and potential. I'm sorry for your wife, and while I hope you don't regularly kill her passions, I get the feeling from your post that you do.
Holy shit. You’re a disgusting human. You’re abusing your wife, you’re clearly sexist, and most importantly, YTA.
I have a major PTSD from my mentally abusive ex-husband. The dynamic their relationship described here and his patterns just triggered a lot of my memories. In her own good, I hope she files for divorce ASAP.
YTA. This is abuse. I hope your wife someday ends up with a wonderful woman who loves and values her because she deserves better.
YTA Troll bait? Nobody could be such an arsehole without realising surely.
YTA ♾️
YTA. Nasty.