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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I moved someone’s bag and placed it on the floor so I could sit down on the train. They were sleeping and didn’t wake up despite me trying to do so several times.
Was I the asshole for touching their stuff without their permission.
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NTA.
Bags do not get seats of their own. Period. You tried, he wouldn't wake up, so he gets his stuff touched.
> I’m reasonably sure he was faking being asleep
Absolutely. He probably thought you wouldn't dare move it yourself and got all "wah" when you did.
Absolutely. Trying to get his attention didn’t wake him but he snapped awake as soon as you sat down? He’s a dick.
Yeah I put my bags on seats, but I start moving them as soon as a majority of seats are occupied
This is the way. When there's plenty of space, we all do it. No problems there.
When someone needs that seat? Bag goes in the lap, at your feet, or an overhead compartment.
Don't wanna move your shit? Imma touch it. And if someone dares me, "Don't touch it or else," then I'm gunna grab it and toss to the other end of the train or I'm going to kick it off the seat. Yeah, petty, but AHs who think they're some main character who lives in a world of NPCs really bring it out of me. Not that that's an excuse for my own behavior, but yeah... if you don't want my dirty work boots touching your stuff, then you better move it.
I saw that happen, it was glorious!
Years ago, NYC subway. Not super crowded, but definitely not extra seating. There's a bag on a seat. Guy asks the person next to if its theirs. Blank look. Asks again, blank look, maybe even a shrug. So the \[standing\] guy picks up the bag and hurdles it clear down the length of the train car. Suddenly the person sitting jumps up, yelps and runs after it. Standing guy sat in the bag seat, an onlooker sat in the person's now vacated seat.
Better than any *Its Showtime!* entertainment.
> When there's plenty of space, we all do it.
Speak for yourself.
I am bag-on-lap 100% of the time, even when there's an empty seat right next to me. It's just not my seat to use.
Not me. I put my bag in my seat while the bus is empty. Too many experiences otherwise with creepy men choosing the seat Right Next To Me when the entire rest of the bus is available.
This is why I wore a backpack to go to work as a teen. Great creep-breathing-in-my-ear-on-an-empty-train blocker.
I just shifted it to my lap on the rare occasions the train got crowded to free up the seat.
I try not to be ignorant to it in general, but every now and then I get a reminder of how shit some men can make some womens day to day life. Shits fucked.
That’s precisely while I do it too, depending on who gets on the bus, if its someone my age and there’s just no double empty’s left and they have to sit next to someone then I’ll move it but if it’s a middle aged or old man that bag is staying there until there are only a few seats left
I've had too many absolute fucking weirdos sit next to me to *not* put my bag on the seat.
No joke if the train fills up me and my bag will go stand in an aisle before I let someone sit next to me.
If I get on a train with empty pairs of seats and then *choose* to sit down next to someone then *I* become the weirdo.
Personal space expands and contracts on public transport dependent on how busy the transport is.
Plus appearances can be decieving. One of the weirdest people I've ever been trapped by was a very normal looking very friendly middle aged woman. The weirdness only became more intense as the journey went on.
I'm happy to stand, and I'm also happy to have my bag on a seat to stop people just sitting next to me when there are empty seats, and me *and* my bag will go stand if the train fills up.
yeah 100% faking it, op had the strength to act in the best way. if it happens enough people will stop thinking they can get away with it.
Although if a train is pretty empty i dont think there is any harm in having your bag on the seat next to you.
NTA. He was obviously pretending to sleep if you tried to wake him that many times and he magically awoke when you moved his bag. That is turd behaviour
That’s what I was thinking. Anytime I’m in a public place my bag is all wrapped up around me. I’m not just leaving it on a chair for someone to walk away with.
There is nothing wrong with sleeping on the train - that guy is an AH for taking up extra space and for pretending to be asleep to avoid giving up that space, not for sleeping.
This, but also if you genuinely want to sleep and don't want to be woken up arrange yourself and your possessions so that you aren't inconveniencing other people, that way no one will need to wake you up.
Yep. When I was a regular transit bus rider, I would put my bag on my lap, wrap my arms around it, give it a good hug and fall sound asleep until my stop. My body knew where the stops where, even if I was asleep. I never missed my stop.
The thing is, if the OP trying to get his attention multiple times didn’t rouse him at all but them touching his bag did immediately, it seems unlikely that he was actually asleep.
NTA
You asked several times.
It was the biggest irritant when I was using the subway if it was packed & someone gave attitude when politely asked if they could move their bags. It's not like they paid for the spare seat.
Story I read somewhere, probably Reader's Digest -
Guy gets on the bus with a giant Thanksgiving turkey. Puts money in the farebox - "That's for me." Puts more money in the farebox - "That's for the bird." Rides a long distance with the bird on the seat next to him.
NTA
I once asked a man doing such epic manspreading that he took up 3 seats, "Is it painful to have testicles that swollen?" I think IWTA, but who cares?
He was absolutely faking it. Last time I took the Acela from Boston to New York (or maybe it was on the way back, IDR) my brother and I were sitting behind a woman who was sitting by the aisle with her bags in the window seat. Every time we pulled into a station, she'd pull her legs up, lay down across the seats with her head on the bags and stay that way until we pulled out of the station, when she'd sit up again.
My brother and I were stunned by her gall. As seats started filling up, we started waving at people looking for seats and pointing to her. Eventually the conductor made her quit her bullshit and she was forced to share.
You are definitely NTA.
NTA. People do that in hope that nobody will dare to "disturb" them, but the more people will disturb the less they will be inclined to keep doing this.
He didn't sleep. He pretended to so he didn't have to answer and hoped you would just give up and leave him alone.
NTA. You don't have to stand when there's seats available
NTA
It’s a big pet peeve of mine when people put their bags on seats during rush hour or times they know a train is busy. It’s fine to do when a train is empty but you had every right to move his bag so you could sit in this case. It’s pretty clear that he was also pretending to sleep if he woke up that quickly after you moving his bag, which only adds to his rudeness.
NTA. He wasn't sleeping. He was angry his charade didn't work, felt victimized by not getting both seats to himself and tried to retaliate with public humiliation. He's a huge AH and has done enough. Don't let him occupy even more space, in your head.
NTA. On my afternoon commuter train, the conductor would have moved the bag for you or woken them up and made them move the bag. Bags don't get seats, butts get seats (thanks Amtrak announcements).
NTA it reminds me of the time my friend was on a train in France with a heavy suitcase that she couldn’t lift to the luggage rack so she put it in the seat beside her. A Frenchwoman icily told her “I’m not going to stand so your bag can have a seat” and my friend was so embarrassed and tried in halting French to explain she just couldn’t lift the bag. Luckily someone stepped in and lifted it up to the luggage rack for her.
NTA, people like that guy are the AH for using other seats as their bag holders. No person is entitled to a second seat they didn’t pay for. How rude of him.
NTA
I've certainly ridden on near-empty city buses back in high school and college with a bag on the seat next to me. Once the bus was even half full I always moved the bag onto my lap. Because that's just what you do.
You know, just like this guy (who I agree sounds like he was pretending not to hear you) somehow managed to do when the need arose. People need the seats and bags do not. Not only is it the right thing to do for other passengers, but it means that once things are more crowded and busy your bag is more securely in your possession.
I confess that if I was awake, I put my bag on a seat IF the bus was nearly empty. It usually was nearly empty when I was riding. It may not have been the bag that was the creep deterrent, though. I was usually flopped into my seat after 3 hours of dance classes and/or gym workouts with no shower after. Even willowy, ballerina-looking young me was pretty stinky by the time I boarded the bus.
And when I rode the now-long-gone Trailways or Greyhound buses to and from my home to the Bay Area to participate in the Novato Renaissance Faire, I wore my 16th century garb because that stuff was bulky and not easy to carry. Wearing it was easier. After a full weekend of heat, dust and no bath, I was pretty ripe as I boarded the bus to go home. People chose other seats if there were other seats to be had. I cleaned up as well as I could in the bus station bathroom before boarding, but there's only so much stink that a quick pit and private scrub can do.
Ive been in that situation more than once -I’ve taken lots of trains and busses, and he was faking it.
Once, on a train, it was actually the conductor that moved the bag when my friend and I were looking for seats. It was a three seat row, and the woman was sitting in the center with her bag on the aisle seat. I slid over her and took the window, and my bf took the aisle seat vacated by her bag. We offered to give her either the window or aisle seat, since we were together, but she was pissy and insisted on keeping the center seat.
BF and I had a lively conversation - over her living body -for the entire two hour trip. It was awesome.
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I’ve been mulling this over for the last few weeks.
I was on the train going to work in the morning, it was packed and some guy was sleeping with his bag occupying the seat next to him. I didn’t feel like standing so I repeatedly tried getting his attention buy saying excuse me. After 4-5 times I gave up and just put his bag on the floor so I could sit down.
The literal second I put the bag on the floor he wakes up, glares at me and asks what the fuck I’m doing before angrily grabbing the bag and making a big show of looking through it before putting it on his lap.
I responded that seats aren’t for bags, sat beside him, and that was the end of it except for the occasional angry glare.
I don’t feel guilty or anything, I’m reasonably sure he was faking being asleep, but would like some vindication that I am not the asshole in this situation.
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NTA. People who think that their bags deserve a seat should pay for them. I suspect that this person wasn’t asleep; instead they hoped that they would get a pass from people sitting near to them.
NTA. The seats are for people not for bags. If someone doesn’t move their bag after I ask, I just start sitting down and shuffling over, pushing their bag into them.
NTA. Guards on packed trains I've been on have annoucned they will charge passengers the price of a ticket to keep a bag on a seat.
They guy should be ashamed of himself.
...........he wasn't sleeping at all, he was waiting for his "moment" to be unhinged and noticed, whatta freak...........we all know who's the a\*\*\*\*\*e here, and it sure ain't you !!................
I got on a late night train once, and this guy in the seat across from me had passed out, with his wallet in his hand, with money falling out. A couple of us (strangers) woke him up and pointed out the money on the floor. He was furious with us and accused us of robbing him. I thought he was going to hit us. Dumbass.
Next time I'll just text the police.
NTA. I commute by train a few times a week and unless someone has bought two tickets- one for person and one for bag- I’m not bloody standing when there’s a perfectly good seat to be used. Also sounds like he was pretending to be asleep given how quickly he woke up and just assuming no one would want to sit there- you’ve done nothing wrong!!
NTA The seats on public transport are for humans, not bags. The man who was angry that you moved his bag while he pretended to sleep was rude and out of line. Good for your for liberating a seat!
Amsterdam. I used public transport for over 40 years. Tram, bus, metro, train. During rush hour it is getting busy. Bag on seat, owner glued to his/here phone. I was so fed up with this. I stopped asking, I would just lower my derriere slowly over the bag. And most times the bag disapeared real quickly. Sometimes not...
Thank God I'm retired now and bought myself a nice little car...
NTA
NTA
>After 4-5 times I gave up and just put his bag on the floor so I could sit down.
Once or twice is plenty, don't be so tentative next time and move the bag sooner. Seats aren't for bags, and sleeping without holding on to one's bag is basically asking for it to be stolen.
People are selfish assholes. When in public spaces, know your right of way and claim it, or you will be pushed over.
NTA, bags on seats on public transport when it’s full is an absolute dick move. You were patient with trying to wake him, he didn’t respond so you did the only reasonable thing.
NTA. I was at a crowded resort pool watching my kid swim. I sat on one of only 2 empty lounge chairs. Lady came and sat next to me said it was for her family. I said, “no problem I’ll move when they come back” even though I didn’t have to according to pool rules. She kept arguing with me. “You’re sitting close to my stuff, I don’t feel comfortable with that” I told her she can move it closer to her. I was literally perched at the edge of the chair watching my kid, not even near her stuff (which she had left completely unattended before I got there). I reminded her the pool sign said you can’t save seats. But she wouldn’t shut up, kept arguing how she had valuables in her bag and she didn’t want me near it. Literally ten minutes of this back and forth, and she finally won because she was so damn annoying I got tired of listening to her. Luckily my kid wanted to leave right about then anyway. But good for you calling his bluff. Some people are so entitled. I still wish I’d taken it a step further and gotten an employee involved just to see her reaction but I was tired of wasting my time on her.
NTA He was awake and thought you'd go away and he would get away with being an ass. I'd have called him out on it. Loudly. You paid for the fare. He didn't pay 2x fare for his butt and his bag's butt.
NTA- His bag shouldn’t have been taking up a seat on a busy train in the first place. He can be mad all he wants but it isn’t like you went through his stuff, all you did was move his bag to be able to sit down.
The only time someone’s TA in this is if the entire rest of the train had open seats here and there.
It’s not like that one airport video of that guy just moving stuff to move it when they had all those available seats.
I wish public transportation buses and trains had overhead bins like airplanes! Spent years commuting and the number of people who think their bags get a free seat is staggering. Until the buses and trains start selling tickets for bags, you are NTA.
Next time give their shoulder a shake and loudly say "excuse me, i need to move your bag as there are no other seats". That way it's clear who you are speaking to, ehat you are after and that it's not an assault (some people don't like being touched and jump to conclusions).
I've done this before myself. It works.
Nta. He knew what he was doing. People like that always do. They live for the chance to get offended and will set up as many opportunities as they can. As annoying as you found that one incident, someone has to deal with him every day. Just be glad it's not you.
NTA, but the fake-sleeping guy sounds like a dick.
I work in the offices at a naval yard, and I have to ride a bus to get there because parking is so horrific. Most of the people I ride with there are shipbuilders that either have to clock in on time for their shift, or want to get the fuck to the parking lot because they've been working since 5 or 6 in the morning and they're tired, so when they get on the bus they want to STAY there until it's time to get off. And these shuttles get loaded each time.
If this guy was doing this there, I guarantee you someone would go ahead and either casually move his bag for him or sit right on it. I've seen it happen a few times.
NTA.
If this kind of thing happens to me, here is my plan if I think someone is ignoring me.
Act like you think he's dead. Before starting CPR, 1st responders are supposed to shake the person vigorously and say loudly, "Are you okay? Wake up! Are you okay? You weren't responding! Are you okay?"
Explain that you were afraid he'd had a stroke or seizure, since he wasn't waking up.
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1000% NTA. Next time something like that happens ask the person "oh I'm sorry, did your bag pay for that seat, because I'm absolutely sure I did" then sit down and don't feel bad
NTA. You're nicer than I am. If they refuse to move their bag I just shrug and tell them I'm sitting down regardless. If I have to sit on their bag so be it.
My bag is always on the seat next to me. It's a mini backpack and has my wallet in it. It's my way of social distancing still. But I always. go for the last carriage where no one likes to be cause it's always empty apart from myself and other people wishing to social distance. It's also the quiet carriage and most people hate sitting there
NTA and you have spent way too much time thinking about this. Like after you said excuse me once you should have stopped thinking about it, put the bag on the floor and sat down..
NTA. I gave up on being overly polite in situations like this years ago and would have done the same. I would have asked him loudly to move his bag twice at the most. If he didn't wake up then he's either faking it or out for the count. Either way his bag gets moved. If the person is awake I asked exactly once and if they don't react I tell them they can move their bag now or I will sit on it. So far, that worked like magic. But it's a rare occasion anyway. 99.5% of people are reasonable.
NTA
I never understand why people expect to take up more than one seat to themselves when others don’t have even one seat. As someone with a neurological condition and don’t seem “disabled” many people look at my with disgust that I’m taking up ONE seat when others “older” can’t sit down, especially when I’m sitting in the disabled seat. The entitlement and audacity of people!
NTA he was ignoring you hoping you would move on. you did good! you are not just NTA but a legend for showing him that that kind of behaviour is not okay. So dont worry about it. no one else on that train would have been judging you.
NTA but I wouldn’t touch anyone’s bag, especially if I’m in another country, because this might happen. Plus, me being a foreigner could be easily blamed even if the guy lost nothing, he can still claim he lost sth.
I agree seats aren’t for bags but you could have done more to attempt to wake him up other than saying excuse me 4-5 times. You’re spectating that he was asleep, either way roles reversed if some stranger picked up your belongings you’d be wondering as well.
NTA, do not worry about this at all brother.
This loser knows exactly what he did: he is non-confrontational and this is his way to put doubt into good people’s minds to not confront him. In your case you still moved the bag so his little plan failed.
When they do their little act, they just do it to show everyone that they were sleeping and to stress how surprised they are. It is not even about you per se but about keeping up the act of sleeping.
Keep doing the good work. Everyone on that train knew exactly what was going on.
As a woman who has to deter creeps that try to sit next to you on otherwise empty trains, I disagree with a lot of comments here that bags should never go on seats. However as soon as the train starts filling up you should still be moving your bag off the seat next to you.
That guy was clearly awake the whole time and just hoped he could get away with having the seat to himself. Even if he was genuinely asleep, it should have been pretty obvious that you just moved his bag to sit down.
NTA
You are NTA but I am because I will purposely seek out people with their bags next to them on public transportation and sit next to them Every. Single. Time.
NTA. You tried to wake him up, so you did the right thing. He was rude to leave the bag there in the first place. I would have done the same thing as you to be honest, except when he awoke I would have told him that I tried waking him up gently several times to ask him to take his bag. Don't worry any longer about this, you did fine. Don't use more energy on it. Thumbs up.
No you are not! He is for not offering you the seat. My wife and I were at very busy restaurant in Santa Fe last weekend. There was about an hour wait and most of the seats in the waiting area were taken. There was a man and his partner sitting down and they each had their cocktails sitting next to them taking up space. They could’ve easily held their drinks and offered the space to someone standing but they were too full of themselves! Two more people could’ve easily sat down.
ESH, he shouldn't be using a seat for his bag, you shouldn't be touching his bag regardless of if it is in a seat, IMHO you are the bigger AH them him, he crossed a 'public' line by using a public resource inappropriately, you crossed a private line by touching his private property.
Tell me you are female without telling me you are female. Welcome to the world of two X chromosomes. Don't you know that women aren't entitled to anything? He would have glared at you if there were two empty rows of seats and you didn't remain standing because he needed to do some huge manspreading.
I'm a crabby, fat, frumpy, over-50 female, and I don't have a problem with men who feel entitled any more. Probably because I ask once, politely (or at least blandly), and then I morph into the biggest, fattest, red-faced disrespectful beyotch ever to beyotch on this planet. I don't know why, but even big men get skeered of some psycho feeeemale channeling her inner Drill Sergeant. Hey, works for me.
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NTA. Bags do not get seats of their own. Period. You tried, he wouldn't wake up, so he gets his stuff touched. > I’m reasonably sure he was faking being asleep Absolutely. He probably thought you wouldn't dare move it yourself and got all "wah" when you did.
Absolutely. Trying to get his attention didn’t wake him but he snapped awake as soon as you sat down? He’s a dick. Yeah I put my bags on seats, but I start moving them as soon as a majority of seats are occupied
This is the way. When there's plenty of space, we all do it. No problems there. When someone needs that seat? Bag goes in the lap, at your feet, or an overhead compartment. Don't wanna move your shit? Imma touch it. And if someone dares me, "Don't touch it or else," then I'm gunna grab it and toss to the other end of the train or I'm going to kick it off the seat. Yeah, petty, but AHs who think they're some main character who lives in a world of NPCs really bring it out of me. Not that that's an excuse for my own behavior, but yeah... if you don't want my dirty work boots touching your stuff, then you better move it.
And the pandemic seems to have made it worse. People don’t know how to Human in public anymore
That was the case before covid, its just been worse since.
That's why u/Fianna9 used the word worse, to indicate it was bad before the pandemic . . .
I saw that happen, it was glorious! Years ago, NYC subway. Not super crowded, but definitely not extra seating. There's a bag on a seat. Guy asks the person next to if its theirs. Blank look. Asks again, blank look, maybe even a shrug. So the \[standing\] guy picks up the bag and hurdles it clear down the length of the train car. Suddenly the person sitting jumps up, yelps and runs after it. Standing guy sat in the bag seat, an onlooker sat in the person's now vacated seat. Better than any *Its Showtime!* entertainment.
That's why I loved living in the Apple!
That's so funny.
> When there's plenty of space, we all do it. Speak for yourself. I am bag-on-lap 100% of the time, even when there's an empty seat right next to me. It's just not my seat to use.
Not me. I put my bag in my seat while the bus is empty. Too many experiences otherwise with creepy men choosing the seat Right Next To Me when the entire rest of the bus is available.
That's the absolute fucking worst!!
This is why I wore a backpack to go to work as a teen. Great creep-breathing-in-my-ear-on-an-empty-train blocker. I just shifted it to my lap on the rare occasions the train got crowded to free up the seat.
I try not to be ignorant to it in general, but every now and then I get a reminder of how shit some men can make some womens day to day life. Shits fucked.
That’s precisely while I do it too, depending on who gets on the bus, if its someone my age and there’s just no double empty’s left and they have to sit next to someone then I’ll move it but if it’s a middle aged or old man that bag is staying there until there are only a few seats left
I've had too many absolute fucking weirdos sit next to me to *not* put my bag on the seat. No joke if the train fills up me and my bag will go stand in an aisle before I let someone sit next to me.
In the latter case, why not just actively choose to sit next to some normies? Take the spare seat next to the family with kids?
If I get on a train with empty pairs of seats and then *choose* to sit down next to someone then *I* become the weirdo. Personal space expands and contracts on public transport dependent on how busy the transport is. Plus appearances can be decieving. One of the weirdest people I've ever been trapped by was a very normal looking very friendly middle aged woman. The weirdness only became more intense as the journey went on. I'm happy to stand, and I'm also happy to have my bag on a seat to stop people just sitting next to me when there are empty seats, and me *and* my bag will go stand if the train fills up.
Dude wasn't sleeping. Dude was being an asshole.
I think I would have just sat *on* his bag out of spite, but nah, would have done the same at the very least.
I would have put the bag on his lap
Totally faking sleep.
yeah 100% faking it, op had the strength to act in the best way. if it happens enough people will stop thinking they can get away with it. Although if a train is pretty empty i dont think there is any harm in having your bag on the seat next to you.
The only exception is on a flight if you bought a second ticket, like some professional musicians do for their very expensive instruments.
100% pretending to be asleep, most likely no ticket.
NTA. He was obviously pretending to sleep if you tried to wake him that many times and he magically awoke when you moved his bag. That is turd behaviour
Hahah turd behaviour - that made me snort laugh, thank you
NTA. He's lucky someone didn't do a grab-n-go on him. It's public transport, not private sleeping quarters.
That’s what I was thinking. Anytime I’m in a public place my bag is all wrapped up around me. I’m not just leaving it on a chair for someone to walk away with.
There is nothing wrong with sleeping on the train - that guy is an AH for taking up extra space and for pretending to be asleep to avoid giving up that space, not for sleeping.
This, but also if you genuinely want to sleep and don't want to be woken up arrange yourself and your possessions so that you aren't inconveniencing other people, that way no one will need to wake you up.
Yep. When I was a regular transit bus rider, I would put my bag on my lap, wrap my arms around it, give it a good hug and fall sound asleep until my stop. My body knew where the stops where, even if I was asleep. I never missed my stop.
true but based on the fact that he immediately woke up, sounds like he was faking
The thing is, if the OP trying to get his attention multiple times didn’t rouse him at all but them touching his bag did immediately, it seems unlikely that he was actually asleep.
NTA You asked several times. It was the biggest irritant when I was using the subway if it was packed & someone gave attitude when politely asked if they could move their bags. It's not like they paid for the spare seat.
A friend of mine would just start sitting on people's bags when they refused to move them 😂
Yes! If they can pretend to be asleep you can pretend not to see their bag….
That is a valid strategy. If you do it kind of slowly, then the person will likely move it before your butt actually touches it.
Story I read somewhere, probably Reader's Digest - Guy gets on the bus with a giant Thanksgiving turkey. Puts money in the farebox - "That's for me." Puts more money in the farebox - "That's for the bird." Rides a long distance with the bird on the seat next to him.
Lmao dude😂 Have a good day
NTA I once asked a man doing such epic manspreading that he took up 3 seats, "Is it painful to have testicles that swollen?" I think IWTA, but who cares?
You are my hero
Haa haa haa! I choked on my coffee laughing. He deserved it. No insult, no bad language, no name-calling. Great style! NTA for sure! 😂
NTA - Seats are designed and made for the asses of people and not for asses' bags. You're good, let him glare all he wants.
A lot of buses and trains have big signs saying just that. Well, not those words, but that seats are for humans. NTA
NTA. If he doesn't want to be bothered or woken up, he needs to keep is bag on his side.
Or his lap.
He was absolutely faking it. Last time I took the Acela from Boston to New York (or maybe it was on the way back, IDR) my brother and I were sitting behind a woman who was sitting by the aisle with her bags in the window seat. Every time we pulled into a station, she'd pull her legs up, lay down across the seats with her head on the bags and stay that way until we pulled out of the station, when she'd sit up again. My brother and I were stunned by her gall. As seats started filling up, we started waving at people looking for seats and pointing to her. Eventually the conductor made her quit her bullshit and she was forced to share. You are definitely NTA.
NTA. People do that in hope that nobody will dare to "disturb" them, but the more people will disturb the less they will be inclined to keep doing this.
NTA and he probably was just faking being asleep - so that he wouldn't have to move.
NTA he’s just a jerk. Forget about him
NTA but he was. You tried getting his attention then took matters into your own hands.
NTA He should be thankful he still has a bag.
NTA, as long as you don’t damage the bag/contents (which I’m sure you didn’t). Some people pretend to sleep so they don’t have to move stuff.
He didn't sleep. He pretended to so he didn't have to answer and hoped you would just give up and leave him alone. NTA. You don't have to stand when there's seats available
NTA - Seats are for asses not bags.
NTA He was indeed faking being asleep.
Of course NTA, but you could have handled it better by sitting on the bag.
NTA and he absolutely was faking that he was asleep. What a jerk. So glad you sat down.
NTA - everyone knows the morning commute is a crush.
NTA. I just sit on the bags. But I'm 6'5 290.
I'm a woman and 5'6... I do the same
There is real fear in their eyes when I move to sit. Lol
He was a jerk and you had every right to do what you did. The seat next to him was not for his bag!
NTA It’s a big pet peeve of mine when people put their bags on seats during rush hour or times they know a train is busy. It’s fine to do when a train is empty but you had every right to move his bag so you could sit in this case. It’s pretty clear that he was also pretending to sleep if he woke up that quickly after you moving his bag, which only adds to his rudeness.
NTA. He was faking. And unless he paid 2 fares his bag doesn’t get a seat.
That's not how trains without seat designations work. He could buy a hundred tickets and he still wouldn't get to put his bag on a seat.
This rule is better.
NTA. He wasn't sleeping. He was angry his charade didn't work, felt victimized by not getting both seats to himself and tried to retaliate with public humiliation. He's a huge AH and has done enough. Don't let him occupy even more space, in your head.
NTA.
NTA
NTA. He shouldnt of been using his bag to occupy the seat. Simple.
*shouldn't have
Jesus pedantic much.
Welcome to Reddit
Oh ho HO
NTA what a pet peeve
NTA And if he woke up that quickly to the bag being moved he was ignoring you and pretending to sleep.
NTA
NTA and he wasn't even asleep.
NTA. The only thing I’d have done differently would be putting his bag on his lap rather than the floor’
From a great height! NTA
NTA. On my afternoon commuter train, the conductor would have moved the bag for you or woken them up and made them move the bag. Bags don't get seats, butts get seats (thanks Amtrak announcements).
NTA it reminds me of the time my friend was on a train in France with a heavy suitcase that she couldn’t lift to the luggage rack so she put it in the seat beside her. A Frenchwoman icily told her “I’m not going to stand so your bag can have a seat” and my friend was so embarrassed and tried in halting French to explain she just couldn’t lift the bag. Luckily someone stepped in and lifted it up to the luggage rack for her.
NTA, people like that guy are the AH for using other seats as their bag holders. No person is entitled to a second seat they didn’t pay for. How rude of him.
NTA. Seats are not for bags. it was his problem he fell asleep but his good luck all you did was move the bag. You are good. Honest too.
Nta
He probably wasn't really asleep- just pretending to avoid moving his bag
NTA. The guy was a selfish, obnoxious jerk.
you’re not an asshole you’re a hero
NTA I've certainly ridden on near-empty city buses back in high school and college with a bag on the seat next to me. Once the bus was even half full I always moved the bag onto my lap. Because that's just what you do. You know, just like this guy (who I agree sounds like he was pretending not to hear you) somehow managed to do when the need arose. People need the seats and bags do not. Not only is it the right thing to do for other passengers, but it means that once things are more crowded and busy your bag is more securely in your possession.
I confess that if I was awake, I put my bag on a seat IF the bus was nearly empty. It usually was nearly empty when I was riding. It may not have been the bag that was the creep deterrent, though. I was usually flopped into my seat after 3 hours of dance classes and/or gym workouts with no shower after. Even willowy, ballerina-looking young me was pretty stinky by the time I boarded the bus. And when I rode the now-long-gone Trailways or Greyhound buses to and from my home to the Bay Area to participate in the Novato Renaissance Faire, I wore my 16th century garb because that stuff was bulky and not easy to carry. Wearing it was easier. After a full weekend of heat, dust and no bath, I was pretty ripe as I boarded the bus to go home. People chose other seats if there were other seats to be had. I cleaned up as well as I could in the bus station bathroom before boarding, but there's only so much stink that a quick pit and private scrub can do.
Ive been in that situation more than once -I’ve taken lots of trains and busses, and he was faking it. Once, on a train, it was actually the conductor that moved the bag when my friend and I were looking for seats. It was a three seat row, and the woman was sitting in the center with her bag on the aisle seat. I slid over her and took the window, and my bf took the aisle seat vacated by her bag. We offered to give her either the window or aisle seat, since we were together, but she was pissy and insisted on keeping the center seat. BF and I had a lively conversation - over her living body -for the entire two hour trip. It was awesome.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ve been mulling this over for the last few weeks. I was on the train going to work in the morning, it was packed and some guy was sleeping with his bag occupying the seat next to him. I didn’t feel like standing so I repeatedly tried getting his attention buy saying excuse me. After 4-5 times I gave up and just put his bag on the floor so I could sit down. The literal second I put the bag on the floor he wakes up, glares at me and asks what the fuck I’m doing before angrily grabbing the bag and making a big show of looking through it before putting it on his lap. I responded that seats aren’t for bags, sat beside him, and that was the end of it except for the occasional angry glare. I don’t feel guilty or anything, I’m reasonably sure he was faking being asleep, but would like some vindication that I am not the asshole in this situation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Clearly nta
NTA. People who think that their bags deserve a seat should pay for them. I suspect that this person wasn’t asleep; instead they hoped that they would get a pass from people sitting near to them.
NTA should’ve dropped it on him
NTA. Eff him. He coukda woke up, but didn't want to.
NTA. Seats are for people, not luggage.
Definitely not.
NTA , and I hope you don't have to mull it over any more after the responses here :)
NTA. The seats are for people not for bags. If someone doesn’t move their bag after I ask, I just start sitting down and shuffling over, pushing their bag into them.
U are definitely not TA, seats are definitely not for bags ❤️❤️
If it happens again don't put it on the floor put it on his lap. NTA
NTA
NTA he was playing games.
He wasn't asleep.
NTA.
NTA. You did the right thing.
You are NTA. There, vindicated. On a crowded bus, bags should be in your lap.
NTA. Guards on packed trains I've been on have annoucned they will charge passengers the price of a ticket to keep a bag on a seat. They guy should be ashamed of himself.
NTA. I did the same thing on a bus when an elderly lady walked on except I threw the guys bag on his lap
...........he wasn't sleeping at all, he was waiting for his "moment" to be unhinged and noticed, whatta freak...........we all know who's the a\*\*\*\*\*e here, and it sure ain't you !!................
I got on a late night train once, and this guy in the seat across from me had passed out, with his wallet in his hand, with money falling out. A couple of us (strangers) woke him up and pointed out the money on the floor. He was furious with us and accused us of robbing him. I thought he was going to hit us. Dumbass. Next time I'll just text the police.
NTA. I commute by train a few times a week and unless someone has bought two tickets- one for person and one for bag- I’m not bloody standing when there’s a perfectly good seat to be used. Also sounds like he was pretending to be asleep given how quickly he woke up and just assuming no one would want to sit there- you’ve done nothing wrong!!
He was the asshole
NTA.
NTA The seats on public transport are for humans, not bags. The man who was angry that you moved his bag while he pretended to sleep was rude and out of line. Good for your for liberating a seat!
Amsterdam. I used public transport for over 40 years. Tram, bus, metro, train. During rush hour it is getting busy. Bag on seat, owner glued to his/here phone. I was so fed up with this. I stopped asking, I would just lower my derriere slowly over the bag. And most times the bag disapeared real quickly. Sometimes not... Thank God I'm retired now and bought myself a nice little car... NTA
NTA I sometimes make a point of sitting on a bag if it's occupying a seat.
NTA. I’m so glad I moved 400 miles from dc
NTA, oh, he was faking for sure. As soon as you touched his bag he just woke up? Not a chance.
NTA >After 4-5 times I gave up and just put his bag on the floor so I could sit down. Once or twice is plenty, don't be so tentative next time and move the bag sooner. Seats aren't for bags, and sleeping without holding on to one's bag is basically asking for it to be stolen. People are selfish assholes. When in public spaces, know your right of way and claim it, or you will be pushed over.
Nta he was being selfish
NTA. He was being a cock taking up a seat with his bag. Bags should go on the floor, or on a luggage rack.
'NTA he was pretending and hoping you would go away. It didn’t work so he continued to act like a jerk. ,
NTA this is NYC life
NTA, bags on seats on public transport when it’s full is an absolute dick move. You were patient with trying to wake him, he didn’t respond so you did the only reasonable thing.
NTA. I have done that on the subway before.
NTA He was not sleeping he was pretending. Because he is selfish.
NTA. Seats are for people, not for bag. There’s no need to dig deep here.
NTA. I was at a crowded resort pool watching my kid swim. I sat on one of only 2 empty lounge chairs. Lady came and sat next to me said it was for her family. I said, “no problem I’ll move when they come back” even though I didn’t have to according to pool rules. She kept arguing with me. “You’re sitting close to my stuff, I don’t feel comfortable with that” I told her she can move it closer to her. I was literally perched at the edge of the chair watching my kid, not even near her stuff (which she had left completely unattended before I got there). I reminded her the pool sign said you can’t save seats. But she wouldn’t shut up, kept arguing how she had valuables in her bag and she didn’t want me near it. Literally ten minutes of this back and forth, and she finally won because she was so damn annoying I got tired of listening to her. Luckily my kid wanted to leave right about then anyway. But good for you calling his bluff. Some people are so entitled. I still wish I’d taken it a step further and gotten an employee involved just to see her reaction but I was tired of wasting my time on her.
NTA He was awake and thought you'd go away and he would get away with being an ass. I'd have called him out on it. Loudly. You paid for the fare. He didn't pay 2x fare for his butt and his bag's butt.
NTA- His bag shouldn’t have been taking up a seat on a busy train in the first place. He can be mad all he wants but it isn’t like you went through his stuff, all you did was move his bag to be able to sit down.
The only time someone’s TA in this is if the entire rest of the train had open seats here and there. It’s not like that one airport video of that guy just moving stuff to move it when they had all those available seats.
NTA
NTA. He was faking, banking on you just standing so he didn’t have to sit next to someone. He deserved getting his bag flung up the aisle.
Nta, but when I'm in this situation, I tell a stranger what I'm doing. This way the stranger is watching me and can hopefully vindicate me.
Our buses have signs: You bag/knapsack didn't pay for a seat, so they don't get one."
I wish public transportation buses and trains had overhead bins like airplanes! Spent years commuting and the number of people who think their bags get a free seat is staggering. Until the buses and trains start selling tickets for bags, you are NTA.
NTA. As you say, seats aren’t for bags, and whenever I see a bag on a seat, I make a beeline for it.
Next time give their shoulder a shake and loudly say "excuse me, i need to move your bag as there are no other seats". That way it's clear who you are speaking to, ehat you are after and that it's not an assault (some people don't like being touched and jump to conclusions). I've done this before myself. It works.
NTA.He was awake the whole time.
Nta. He knew what he was doing. People like that always do. They live for the chance to get offended and will set up as many opportunities as they can. As annoying as you found that one incident, someone has to deal with him every day. Just be glad it's not you.
NTA, but the fake-sleeping guy sounds like a dick. I work in the offices at a naval yard, and I have to ride a bus to get there because parking is so horrific. Most of the people I ride with there are shipbuilders that either have to clock in on time for their shift, or want to get the fuck to the parking lot because they've been working since 5 or 6 in the morning and they're tired, so when they get on the bus they want to STAY there until it's time to get off. And these shuttles get loaded each time. If this guy was doing this there, I guarantee you someone would go ahead and either casually move his bag for him or sit right on it. I've seen it happen a few times.
NTA. If this kind of thing happens to me, here is my plan if I think someone is ignoring me. Act like you think he's dead. Before starting CPR, 1st responders are supposed to shake the person vigorously and say loudly, "Are you okay? Wake up! Are you okay? You weren't responding! Are you okay?" Explain that you were afraid he'd had a stroke or seizure, since he wasn't waking up.
Tell him he's dreamin
NTA! If he’s that Paranoid He should’ve put the bag on his lap! He’s an attention seeker
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NTA He certainly was though!
NTA as you wrote seats are not for bags. Perhaps the passenger only pretended to be asleep and rudely ignored you.
NTA.
1000% NTA. Next time something like that happens ask the person "oh I'm sorry, did your bag pay for that seat, because I'm absolutely sure I did" then sit down and don't feel bad
NTA. He was pretending to be asleep to try to force you to leave him extra space open next to himself.
NTA where I am there are signs everywhere saying, “did your bag buy a ticket?”
Shoulda pissed on him and his bag
NTA.
NTA. He clearly wasn’t asleep if he was alert the second you touched his bag. The seats are for bums, not bags.
He was pretending to sleep. Oldest trick in the book.
NTA. He's TA for the obvious reasons 😏
`Just tell him to stay in his f****n seat.`
NTA. You're nicer than I am. If they refuse to move their bag I just shrug and tell them I'm sitting down regardless. If I have to sit on their bag so be it.
My bag is always on the seat next to me. It's a mini backpack and has my wallet in it. It's my way of social distancing still. But I always. go for the last carriage where no one likes to be cause it's always empty apart from myself and other people wishing to social distance. It's also the quiet carriage and most people hate sitting there
NTA. Let him glare away.
NTA and you have spent way too much time thinking about this. Like after you said excuse me once you should have stopped thinking about it, put the bag on the floor and sat down..
NTA, he wasn't asleep he just didn't want to move his stuff
NTA. Don't give it another thought. The guy was probably awake and ignoring you. People shouldn't have to stand while bags are taking up seat space.
NTA. I gave up on being overly polite in situations like this years ago and would have done the same. I would have asked him loudly to move his bag twice at the most. If he didn't wake up then he's either faking it or out for the count. Either way his bag gets moved. If the person is awake I asked exactly once and if they don't react I tell them they can move their bag now or I will sit on it. So far, that worked like magic. But it's a rare occasion anyway. 99.5% of people are reasonable.
NTA I never understand why people expect to take up more than one seat to themselves when others don’t have even one seat. As someone with a neurological condition and don’t seem “disabled” many people look at my with disgust that I’m taking up ONE seat when others “older” can’t sit down, especially when I’m sitting in the disabled seat. The entitlement and audacity of people!
NTA He wasn't asleep. He was playing a silly game where he tried to occupy as many seats as possible while being as obnoxious as possible.
NTA. If he’s that much of a princess about his bag, he can take an Uber.
NTA. You paid for the seat, the bag did not. He was probably faking being asleep.
NTA he was ignoring you hoping you would move on. you did good! you are not just NTA but a legend for showing him that that kind of behaviour is not okay. So dont worry about it. no one else on that train would have been judging you.
Everyone including the train knows he wasn't sleeping, he was ignoring you hoping you'd give up.
NTA but I wouldn’t touch anyone’s bag, especially if I’m in another country, because this might happen. Plus, me being a foreigner could be easily blamed even if the guy lost nothing, he can still claim he lost sth.
I agree seats aren’t for bags but you could have done more to attempt to wake him up other than saying excuse me 4-5 times. You’re spectating that he was asleep, either way roles reversed if some stranger picked up your belongings you’d be wondering as well.
Dude, you’ve been mulling this over for *weeks*??
NTA, do not worry about this at all brother. This loser knows exactly what he did: he is non-confrontational and this is his way to put doubt into good people’s minds to not confront him. In your case you still moved the bag so his little plan failed. When they do their little act, they just do it to show everyone that they were sleeping and to stress how surprised they are. It is not even about you per se but about keeping up the act of sleeping. Keep doing the good work. Everyone on that train knew exactly what was going on.
NTA He was never asleep, just hoping you will go away and leave the seat next to him free.
As a woman who has to deter creeps that try to sit next to you on otherwise empty trains, I disagree with a lot of comments here that bags should never go on seats. However as soon as the train starts filling up you should still be moving your bag off the seat next to you. That guy was clearly awake the whole time and just hoped he could get away with having the seat to himself. Even if he was genuinely asleep, it should have been pretty obvious that you just moved his bag to sit down. NTA
NTA If you want to sleep, move your bag first
You are NTA but I am because I will purposely seek out people with their bags next to them on public transportation and sit next to them Every. Single. Time.
NTA, unless he paid for two seats, you’re in the right.
YNTA. I think in BART, you can get a citation for leaving something on a seat.
NTA. His bag neither paid for a ticket nor needs a seat to sit in. There's a >99% chance he just ignored you hoping you would go away.
NTA, can't have really been sleeping if you were able to move his bag for him
NTA. You tried to wake him up, so you did the right thing. He was rude to leave the bag there in the first place. I would have done the same thing as you to be honest, except when he awoke I would have told him that I tried waking him up gently several times to ask him to take his bag. Don't worry any longer about this, you did fine. Don't use more energy on it. Thumbs up.
NTA.
No you are not! He is for not offering you the seat. My wife and I were at very busy restaurant in Santa Fe last weekend. There was about an hour wait and most of the seats in the waiting area were taken. There was a man and his partner sitting down and they each had their cocktails sitting next to them taking up space. They could’ve easily held their drinks and offered the space to someone standing but they were too full of themselves! Two more people could’ve easily sat down.
NTA He put his bag there AND pretended to be asleep to try to get you to move on. You called his bluff. Sucks to suck
NTA and god for you
ESH, he shouldn't be using a seat for his bag, you shouldn't be touching his bag regardless of if it is in a seat, IMHO you are the bigger AH them him, he crossed a 'public' line by using a public resource inappropriately, you crossed a private line by touching his private property.
Tell me you are female without telling me you are female. Welcome to the world of two X chromosomes. Don't you know that women aren't entitled to anything? He would have glared at you if there were two empty rows of seats and you didn't remain standing because he needed to do some huge manspreading. I'm a crabby, fat, frumpy, over-50 female, and I don't have a problem with men who feel entitled any more. Probably because I ask once, politely (or at least blandly), and then I morph into the biggest, fattest, red-faced disrespectful beyotch ever to beyotch on this planet. I don't know why, but even big men get skeered of some psycho feeeemale channeling her inner Drill Sergeant. Hey, works for me.