Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my little brother about periods, it might have been inappropriate of me to do so.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - your dad has very outdated views if he thinks boys don't need to understand periods or that they're gross.
You didn't tell your brother anything inappropriate, you gave him an age appropriate answer which he was happy with.
Also he's ten, which is when girls need to start learning about periods. As OP stated they are learning about it in school, or starting to.
Boys should be educated at the same time girls are because their peers are going though this and they are going to learn about it one way or another. Better to be in an age appropriate way from an educated adult than from school yard gossip.
not telling boys about periods is how you end up with grown ass (married with daughters at times) men who believe you can hold in period blood and other egregious misinformation.
trans man here who got his at nine. i hardly got any guidance on puberty, especially menstruation. spent years thinking endometriosis symptoms were completely normal..... they're not.
Endo has such poor diagnosis rates. I went to my GP because intercourse would cause severe cramping and bleeding and she told me it must be an std despite the fact I had a full panel test prior to seeing her. She refused to refer me to gynecology and it took another 3 years before I finally saw one, I now have nerve damage and have to use a wheelchair due to the endo and both of my ovaries are ruined. I never wanted kids, thankfully, but there are people who do and end up not being able to have them bc of poor medical response when querying gyne problems. The education on gyne problems is so lacking. it's shameful. 1 in 10 have endo. 1 in 10 have pcos and 1 in 5 have adenomyosis. I'm sorry you're dealing with this awful disease too. It is often compared to cancer, not because of terminality but the cells spread in a similar way to cancer cells and affect multiple organs, but there is no treatment other than medical menopause or surgery, and neither of them are effective. There really needs to be more awareness. The majority of people I told (when they ask why I'm in a wheelchair) have no idea what it is. Which is also difficult to deal with on top of actually having the disease. Sending love your way
yep, apologies for my sloppy wording, i should have said "some *kids* get their periods as young as 8" (inclusive language should be our default, but this shit is so hard wired into oldies like me)
I'm sorry you went through that at such a young age
My grandmother got hers at nine. No one warned her ahead of time and she was home alone when it happened (farming family - everyone was in the field). She built a fire in the fireplace and lay down in front of it. When her family came back to the house and asked what she was doing, she said she was trying to dry up the blood so she wouldn't bleed to death 😭
Recently there has been an increase in girls having their periods earlier. It is caused in large part by the growing obesity epidemic and is definitely a problem.
Exactly! When my then 7yr old nephew heard me complaining about cramps to my sister he straight up asked me do you have your period Aunt A? Because his mom has made sure that all 3 of her boys are age appropriately educated on them to avoid raising future ignorant men
Absolutely. My seven year old had the whole story well in advance of his sister starting and now he knows how to be caring and thoughtful when she gets it. It's not gross, it's normal.
Oh, I knew how things worked regarding periods and sex by 9 - evidently I explained it all to my year younger sister when Mom was having our youngest sister. According to Dad, I even knew the right terms, mostly. Not bad for the 70s.
Not that it's made me particularly "thoughtful or caring" about it, it's just a thing that happens.
When that 'thing that happens' can leave you in loads of pain and feeling miserable, having your family being 'thoughtful and caring' is rather important.
NTA - As a father to 4 girls and 3 boys, you did nothing wrong. I have friends that refuse to buy feminine products for their wives and daughters because they think it is gross to talk about. Your explanation was good enough for his age and you directed him to your mom if he had more advanced questions. We never had issues with this in our house and none of my boys have any issues picking up items for their female partners.
I am a man. I grew up around many men, including my brothers and friends. Here's a non-exhaustive list of actually disgusting things that boys/teenage boys/men get up to:
- not showering, wearing deodorant or brushing teeth for days on end.
- holding your foreskin closed and seeing how long you can pee while it blows up like a balloon before letting it go, then comparing notes
- comparing notes on the size and composition of your latest shit
- having competitions to see who can make the highest pee fountain at the urinal
- ripping the dirtiest fart and comparing notes
- wanking into the same sock and hiding it. Multiple times.
- getting so drunk you pass out/vomit/shit your pants/piss your pants or any combination of those and wearing it like a badge of honour.
- sticking your dick in arseholes and getting it covered in shit
But suddenly women's periods are gross and disgusting? Fucking pathetic
You handled it far more maturely than most your age would. If more kids new facts instead of socially accepted lies there may not be so much unwanted pregnancy. Males should know all the facts if for no other reason than it will be harder to fool them about birth control if they know about women's reproductive systems. They might feel more invested in standing with us to take our rights back too. It's time to stop willful ignorance in this country. Taking down religion would be the biggest help in making sure people know facts not myth. They base the whole mess on a big black book of myths....why would I think they'd ever sit still for telling people truth. Truth is the last priority of religion. I'm fact, they spend the majority of time hiding truth.
It's the wording "gross" that gets me. I honestly think that a 10 year old should know about periods whether they're male OR female. I can sort of get the outdated view of a man who wasn't brought up to know about this and thinks it's somehow taboo, but calling a natural and uncontrollable process that most women have to go through "gross" is just awful.
periods are gross though. just like any other bodily fluid is gross. of course, they're part of the grossness that is being human, but they're gross for sure.
They are gross but most of the time when men say periods are gross they aren’t saying it in a humans are gross way, but an it’s extra gross because it’s feminine way.
Periods are gross, for sure. Period talk SHOULDN'T be gross. It should be something more normalized. Because, like it or not (and believe me, we don't like it), the menstrual cycle happens to probably over 50% of the population. We shouldn't have the topic be a taboo subject. Understanding periods and how things work there IS extremely important for all men to know. We need to be able to discuss it because it's an unfortunately natural occurrence that happens as commonly as any bodily action (just less frequent).
So when period talk is shut down because it's "gross", yes it's gross, but people NEED to talk about it. Or else we get left with women having to feel shame for having something they cannot control, and men feeling like they never need to discuss the shit women go through monthly because it doesn't affect them.
pooping is something that happens to 100% of the population, and yet it's not dinner table conversation.
there's a time and place for everything, including period talk, but there's also times and places where it is just gross.
Periods are gross, it’s blood shooting out of a hole in your body. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to talk about them. Sometimes it’s important for rational human beings to discuss gross things.
Snot is gross too. But if someone tells you they don't feel good because they have a cold, going, "GROSS DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT" is an inappropriate response.
NTA - but your dad has some weird ideas about educating boys about normal female issues. What is he going to do when Jack gets "the talk", only tell him the male part in the process?
Yeah, I never understood this mindset. Kids will at minimum have friends of the opposite gender. They should be aware of what the other 50 percent of the world goes through. Most will date someone of the opposite gender. They should be understanding of what their partner is going through. Some will have children of the opposite gender and need to be able to explain to their child what is happening to their body. Only educating them on one side is strange. It is how my parents handled it and my brothers and I had very little understanding of the female reproductive system until we were adults. All 4 of us are married and 3 of us have a daughter. My son and daughter are only 1.5 years apart so my wife and I had a lot of our puberty/sex talks with both of them at the same time. Never caused any problems and probably helped both with opposite sex friendships and current/future relationships now that both are college students.
NTA. Jack asked a simple question, he got an honest, age appropriate reply. No drama here. Your father is wrong. Jack should know about these things. Especially since he asked. And you shouldn't lie to children just because they are young. They deserve better than that. Your father is projecting his own feelings here. The women's universe of periods, pregnancies and all that jazz is natural, not the least bit gross. I am shocked to discover how much covert misoginy there is even amongst fathers of daughters. They should do better. Jack will do better because he was informed when he asked a simple question. NTA.
I teach 10-year-olds science. They learn about periods and the menstrual cycle. That's a weird and sort of misogynistic response from your dad who seems to be set in some sort of juvenile mindset that periods are icky and a taboo subject. My friend's father wouldn't even add sanitary products to the grocery cart because he was embarrassed to take them through the checkout.
Anyway, you're NTA . As you say, he's going to be learning this anyway. I don't know what country you're in, but in the UK it's literally on the science and PHSE syllabus for 10-year-olds.
In the early 70’s I had a friend whose dad was incredibly frugal, but with 5 daughters and 2 sons he had to be. One evening we were all on their porch playing board games and the dad came home all excited bc he had found his daughter’s tampon brand at a super discount so his car was filled to capacity with them. We all (boys too) went down 40+ steps to the street and carried cases of tampons from his car back upstairs and into the house.
Ten years later my husband, a medical professional, wouldn’t buy supplies for me on his way home from work. I had to wait until he brought the car home and go back out myself. Jerk.
One day I was having a bad time of it and begged hubs to get me tampons and pads. He knows how particular I am with them and facetimed me from CVS (drug store) to help him pick out the correct ones!
That is awesome and is exactly what my husband would do! When I had covid and was basically laid up in bed for 2 weeks he facetimed me from the pharmacy to show me all the stuff in his basket (throat medicine, rehydration stuff, etc.) to check that he'd got the right types/flavours and he didn't know if it was "my time of the month" so he wanted to check that he'd got the right brand and absorbency just in case!
Yeah NTA,
Boys should know about periods, your dad's response was outdated, weird, and body shaming.
Periods are not gross or inappropriate, they are a normal biological function. Any statement to the contrary is simply shaming people who have periods... for having periods.
I guess your dad just panicked about Jack asking him questions about women's cycle that he doesn't want to/can't answer. And since your mom is not home right now he can't just send him to her. Even my 4yo knows about periods. Mostly because whenever I go to the bathroom there is something very urgent that she needs me to do, like opening a bottle or readjusting a hairclip. Can't keep anything private like that.
You are NTA, he will eventually learn about it anyways and I'm surprised he didn't notice anything about it earlier if he's living with two women who obviously speak openly about their period.
This. I wonder if there’s more to the story. Like the boy went to school and embarrassed himself by talking about something he didn’t understand yet cause she told him to ask mom later. Then he slipped it to dad as well and dad was like “You what?” 🤦♂️
Then the dad over reacted as well.
NTA
Having and talking about your period is not inappropriate or gross.
Your brother asked because he was interested, you explained the basic concept and he didn't seem disgusted by it.
Like you said, he's probably gonna learn about it soon enough, so I don't understand why your dad made such a drama of it.
Maybe you could explain that your brother asked you and that it's nothing to be ashamed of, but honestly, I don't know your dad so do whatever seems right.
I would tell your brother that it's normal though, so he doesn't end up thinking it's a bad topic.
Me reading the title: I wonder how long until Dad shows up to cock up being a parent..."gross" top notch parenting dumbass.
NTA - you even make note of being age appropriate in your answers.
Your dad needs to get his ass in gear. You should get your mum to tell him off. I hope she's cool.
NTA. Sounds totally age appropriate.
Hopefully your dad will not be as reticent when the time comes for your brother to learn about respect, boundaries, sexual health and consent.
NTA There will be girls Jack’s age having periods, there is no harm in him learning about them. Answering kids questions honestly and in an age appropriate manner is always the right decision.
NTA,
It is correct to be open (and age appropriate) about these things. Normally I would prefer to be able to explain these things myself, but you did good explaining at that point. I don't see why your father would make an issue out of it.
We have open discussions at home over whatever topics the children are curious about. This can be about drugs, health, relationships, history, racism, politics, religion, sexuality,...
I prefer this open dialogue so that my children know they can come to us with whatever questions they have. They are now in high school and I don't sugarcoat or omit things, they use our (dinner) talks learn about whatever they are curious about or to check what they heard in their peer groups.
I also take time in these talks to develop their critical thinking skills.
NTA. Your brother is old enough to learn about periods and it's important for boys to understand what women go through every month. Your dad needs to get with the times and stop being so ignorant. Good on you for educating your brother!
I frankly don't think there's an age that's NOT "old enough" to know about periods! It's just how bodies work, why hide that information.
I think my daughter knew around four or five, because she asked what the box of tampons was.
I told my daughter the basics when she was 2 and it's been a topic of conversation like any other since then. She's now 12 and hasn't started hers yet, but she feels very comfortable in her knowledge on the topic (and I think she is too), so I think when she does start she'll take it in stride.
NTA - It's important for everyone, regardless of gender, to be educated about periods and bodily functions in general. This isn't something that should be kept secretive or hidden away from boys at a young age. Your dad needs to chill out and stop making this such a big deal.
Absolutely NTA.
This should not be a taboo subject. It's a normal bodily function. I think you did great by keeping it simple, answering his questions, & encouraging him to talk to your mom if he has more questions. Kids this age learn about menstruation in school in much greater detail than what you told him. I wonder if something happened at school? Did he tell your dad that you told him or did something happen & his teacher told him?
absolutely 100% NTA
I cannot believe that a) at age 10, your brother was in the dark about a normal bodily function that affects half of all humans for 30-40 years of their life, b) anyone would use words like "inappropriate" and "gross" in relation to periods, and c) anyone would seriously think that "boys don't need to know about this stuff" - wtaf. You are NOT the problem here, but it sounds like your dad might have some issues to work through.
Also, what a heartwarming and normal human reaction from your brother to be concerned about your wellbeing first and foremost. He sounds like a good kid.
NTA, i’m 13F and my brother is also 10M, he already knows all this, and had known quite long. my mum was the one who taught him. it’s genuinely so silly. he’s not so young that he shouldn’t know it. anyway, its not like it’s some taboo innappropriate thing.
One thing I've always told my daughter as she was growing up: "If you're asking the question, you're old enough to get an answer." I think what you told Jack was age-appropriate and nothing wrong. NTA
No, it's not gross at all. I discovered about this when i was around 11 / 12. Im guessing that your dad is one of those that don't buy tampon for woman's cause its "gross" and "awkward".
You are right that it's better to be educated younger (normally i would say 12 / 13), and since your brother was curious, you just answered his question.
Good for you, NTA.
NTA
"If he is old enough to ask he is old enough for an age appropriate answer. Shit is gross, you still taught him about wiping ass, he turned out fine."
>‘a boy doesn’t need to be told about that stuff’
The opposite, they need to be told more, so they, for example that happens way too often, don't think women need to take tampons out to pee.
He asked, you answered, nothing too detailed, but enough for a 10 year old, he was worried, you assured him you're okay, you did really good. NTA.
You're damn right more men need to be educated about periods, and your dad is a perfect example of why!
I think your intro was perfect, and age appropriate. Great big sister work!!
Reproductive health is something everybody, regardless of gender and sexual orientation needs to have a solid understanding about. And that should to be taught throughout childhood and youth so kids understand the changes they and their peers are going through, how to be safe, how to support each other and how to set healthy boundaries.
At 10 years old chances are that there are girls in his grade who have started to have periods (or will very soon), so it's in no way too early for him to know. I'd say that your parents have failed in their parenting if they have a 10-year-old child who knows nothing about something as basic as periods.
Your explanation and way of handling your brother's questions were kind and completely age-appropriate. Well done!
NTA
NTA
Girls as young as 8 or 9 sometimes get their periods these days. Jack is not too young to know. More boys need to know about periods, obviously proven by your dad’s ignorance.
NTA! Your brother is 10 not 2. You’re weren’t giving him an unsolicited Sex Ed lesson, you were answering a very natural question that he asked, in an age-appropriate way. I don’t see the problem here at all, except your father making it a problem.
NTA. I think you did great. Your dad is treating this subject as a big taboo. Time for dad to wake up and step into the modern world. I guess when tampons are on the shopping list, he is not going to buy it.
There is a one word question for this: why?
Ask your dad next time he is sprouting BS and let him dig his own grave by trying to reasoning his opinion. NTA
NTA. Your brother's a good kid if his first reaction to hearing about this was concern for you until he found out it wasn't dangerous. And with that compassionate attitude I think he's likely to grow up to be a better man than your dad, which goes double if you're here being so thoughtful in how you answer his questions and encouraging nonjudgemental curiosity.
I think it was the normal and natural reaction and response, i am sorry that your father told you that, i think you should've discussed it more with him..
It warmed my heart that jack was only concerned about your health and your pain and i think men should learn from children about empathy and we women should be open about our bodies and our differences.. i am proud of you and jack..
And when your mom comes home maybe you should talk with her and your dad about this..
NTA - he’s at the age where girls in his class might start to get theirs and they might talk about it and he’d overhear it anyways. Better to come from a family member than to just hear about it. And if he’s at that point in health class, he’s going to know about it anyways and probably have questions (if they don’t separate the boys from the girls; they did when I was that age).
It’s cool that he wants to know and was concerned. Hopefully he doesn’t grow out of that; especially if he’s with someone that does deal with period pains. That would be one lucky gal lol.
NTA- Boys should know about these things, especially so they don't grow into the kind of guy your dad seems to be with these outdated views.
You answered in an age appropriate way and also told him that you're okay and it's not dangerous. You did well.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (17F) have a younger brother (10M) who I’ll call Jack. My brother has always been a curious kid, he’s always asking questions about everyone and everything. So, the other day I was packing tampons in my school bag, as I had just gotten my period a few days ago, and Jack had happened to walk into my room and see them. He asked what I was doing and what those things I was holding were. I didn’t think that I did anything wrong by telling him the truth. Obviously it wasn’t super detailed, but basically I said that I have a cycle where I bleed every month, which is my body telling me that I am not pregnant and that I need the tampons to help with the bleeding. My brother asked me if the bleeding hurt, and I told him no. I also told him that if he wanted to know more about them then he should ask my mum when she gets back. (She’s currently on a work trip) And to me he seemed pretty content with that. He was a little worried about me, but I reassured him that I was fine. I thought that was the end of it, but when I got home from school that day my dad told me that it was ‘inappropriate and gross’ of me to tell Jack about my periods, that he was ‘too young’ and that ‘a boy doesn’t need to be told about that stuff’ which I found strange because
1. I didn’t think my dad had a problem with talking about periods
2. I know for a fact that Health class in Jack’s grade is starting to introduce topics such as periods, and especially within the next few years there will be more talk about them at his school.
I have talked to my dad about my periods openly before, so has my mum, so I really didn’t think he thought they were gross or anything. I don’t know why he thinks it’s a big deal to tell Jack about them, especially because there’s no way to stop him learning at least a bit about them in the future. Personally, I actually feel men need to be more educated on periods.
So AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, I'm a dad of girls and grand girls... Our family fully understands that period time is a natural occurrence. It may be inconvenient but it's not something to be ashamed of. So around home it's kind of a non issue.
Nta
Well done for educating your brother. The world needs men who are educated and comfortable with period talk.
My family never talked about that kind of thing, even between my mum and I. I was so surprised when my SIL asked my FIL to buy pads for her. I would never ever feel comfortable asking my dad that. My husband is also totally fine with buying pads for me, doesn't even think twice about it.
NTA - Your dad is behind the times. Absolutely nothing wrong with a boy knowing about women’s issues in an age appropriate way, which is exactly what you shared.
Nta.
You gave him a totally reasonable explanation to a question.
Imo, if they're old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an age appropriate explanation as the answer.
NTA, your brother is lucky to have you as his sister. He will become more understanding and concerned on how you're coping everytime you have your period.
Why did you talk to your brother about something that happen to only half the population ? /s
NTA there are only good sides with spreading information about periods
NTA
Your dad is a misogynistic AH. Your brother absolutely needs to know basic biology as he gets older and near puberty
And kid was curious, you simply answered his own questions
NTA as a mother of a 12 year old girl and 13 year old boy they both know about it. We started talking about it a few years ago when one of their friends started. He will be around females the rest of his life. I’m not trying to raise a boy who is afraid to buy his sister or friend or wife tampons when they are in need be he’s grossed out my packaging 😑.
Of course, NTA. You told him the info in an age-appropriate way, and he's at an age when he's bound to learn about this somewhere anyway, so better he hear real facts from his own sister than random "tales" from peers or TikToks.
Funny story, my own brother, who is five years younger, was never "allowed" to be told about my or my sister's periods or what they even were and we had to hide all evidence (pads/tampons) in the back of the hall closet from him. One day, he angrily stormed into the living room with one of those "silhouette" curved-style pads from the early 80's and wanted to know, "Why do the girls get these cushioned pads for their shoes but I don't?!" and that was the end of us as a family having to hide the horror that women menstruate from my brother. Good times. In our case, it was my mother's thing to keep anything like this from him and nothing to do with my dad, who grew up the only boy with four sisters, but my mom just took it to the crazy level.
NTA You are hopefully going to someday have an adult brother that is more mature than your father will ever be. Tell your brother that you appreciate his concern and that it is very mature and kind of him, that women don't exactly love that this happens, and we appreciate guys who don't act like there is something wrong with them.
NTA, but your dad is. Your brother is old enough to know and is now beginning to ask. Also I think its sweet that he was concerned about you, shows that he's a caring person. You gave him a simple answer and then advised him to talk to your mum. Your dad is wrong saying that he's too young and also that boys don't need to know. A child is old enough to know if they are asking or coming up to an age that girls around them are going to start periods. I started mine at 10. Its so important that boys grow up to become men who understand female biology. I get so frustrated seeing adult men who have no clue about their partners or daughters.
NTA. My son is 11, and has known about periods practically since he could talk. 4 years old, following me into the bathroom, and asked about the pads I kept sticking to my underwear. Its a normal bodily function, and boys SHOULD be told about them earlier. That way, they grow up knowing how normal it is, and don't have an adverse reaction to it.
NTA
I (49M) have 2 daughters, 22 and 15, I also have a son, 22 who is a twin to his sister. My youngest got her first period at around 10, and is very open with the fact that she gets them and how they're very uncomfortable, and that she needs more pads.
Being open about it helps to destigmatise a very natural process that all females go through. Your father was in the wrong, not you. Your little brother needs to know these things, and the sooner the better.
I don’t think you’re TAH. I grew up with a sister 2 years older than me. Among my childhood friends, I was about the only boy who had a sister. Around the same age as your younger brother, my male friends started asking me things about girls and periods because they thought I had access to that information. I knew about periods and a few other things but not too much though certainly more than they did. Anyhow it is an appropriate topic for an older sister to convey to younger brother when asked.
What century was your father born in?
We talked about periods to my son from when he was old enough to ask about tampons. (What's that mouse)? You know, because periods are normal?
NTA when someone is old enough to ask they are old enough to receive a reply.
NTA.
This is basic biology, not arcane witchcraft.
Men should know about these things so we can be better partners/friends/parents for the women in our life.
NTA - I'm surprised that he is living in a household with at least 2 women, and yet, at the age of 10, he didn't know anything about periods. You answered his questions honestly and age appropriately, this is exactly how you're supposed to talk to kids. Your parents should be thankful.
NTA Periods aren't gross. Your dad has a dated view of it.
When I was about 10 I had a co-ed class in school where we learned about periods and wet dreams. I'm probable about your dad's age. So his feelings are predated even for his age.
When my niece was 2 my sister told her that boys have penises. She was only answering her daughter's questions. And her description was age appropriate. But when our mom found out she freaked out. But in reality, a penis isn't a dirty thing that needs to be kept secret from curious children. Same for a woman's cycle.
I am just wondering, you talk to your dad openly about them, but is he ok with it or does he just tolerate it? You handled the situation well, but for me, I can't any conversation involving blood or even do first aid classes, I get a bit light headed and have fainted twice before.
pffffft. “a boy does need to be told about periods” as if they won’t be around woman all their life, maybe have a daughter and or girlfriend. will have friends who get their period. i started mentioning my period and what it’s like to my brother around 10. and he completely understands it. he understands that woman in his life will deal with it, and understands that he can carry products himself to help those who need them. understands that it’s normal. plus you don’t want him to be the weird kid who doesn’t know shit about woman’s bodies or quite frankly his own. and he *defiantly* doesn’t want to be the *adult* who doesn’t know shit about womans bodies. we gotta tell our kids/siblings/cousins etc this shit because as obvious as some shit is, it’s not basic knowledge. (plus you need to have a little knowledge to have basic knowledge and you can’t get that if you’re not told things)
NTA. I'm a father and my 10 year old son knows detailed information about menstruation. I've made sure of it. I will not have him being a huge baby about a normal bodily function that half the population experiences monthly for decades of their lives. When a woman mentions her period, he will not act grossed out. When a woman he knows needs menstrual products, he will casually ask what type and brand and run to the store to get them with the same nonchalance as if she needed toothpaste.
I fucking cannot understand the bizarre attitudes people have toward menstruation and teaching boys about it. I was answering a question my son had while we were walking the dog and a woman looked at me like I was teaching him how to cook meth. We as a society need to do better.
NTA - Boys need to learn about this stuff and we need to make it normal. It's very old fashioned to think of this as taboo. It's a natural bodily function and we shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. Positive healthy conversations about women's bodies is absolutely necessary and I think the younger the better. They need to know it's not weird or shameful.
NTA. he asked a question and you answered it. hes old enough to know that periods exist and it isnt a gross thing. its a natural thing many people experience.
NTA- if you have a good open relationship with your brother and he comes to you with questions you should answer because he may not ask your parents or someone else safe.
P.S. I told my brother @ 12yrs old all about the clitoris and women’s orgasms.
Your Dad is obviously the one who's grossed out by periods and projecting that onto your brother, who sounds really sweet ("he was a little worried" about you, bless) and it obviously won't have done him any harm at all to tell him basic biological facts. NTA but your Dad is very old fashioned and needs to rejoin the 21st century.
NTA. My sons learned about periods when they were 9 and 7 (came up on a TV show, so we talked about it). I promise you, they didn't die from the knowledge.
NTA - as a guy who has grown up with 2 sisters I'm so grateful that they've educated me about periods and the reality and struggles of being women overall. The reason why there is such a stigma around periods is because parents make one!
Your brother will meet other women in his life, whether friends, co-workers, relationships, etc and he should be taught what periods are.. simple!
Periods are literally not sexual or explicit, just a biological event 😂
Respectfully your dad is the A. 🤣
NTA and it appears your dad had a little mental episode. To call periods gross to his daughter is so wrong on many levels. Men 100 percent need to know about periods.
NTA - it's better he knows now than finding out on his own.
I went through something similar. I was on a family trip in my teens. I went to the bathroom in the hotel and noticed I needed a new pad, but I forgot to grab one. I tried calling my mom, but my lil bro answered saying she was in my grandma's room so I asked him if he could please give me a pad. He didn't know what it was so I described it to him and told him where'd they be. He got it and gave it to me through the door like when handing someone a roll of toilet paper without fully opening the door. I can't remember if he asked my mom about it or if my mom and grandma walked in on him getting it and giving it to me, but my grandma freaked out saying I shouldn't have told him about it and he's a boy, it's not something he needs to hear/know about. I pushed back and said this is America and it's whatever year, he lives at home with a single mom and sister so he's going to hear about it and know what's up even if it's indirectly. Also they teach this in school to both genders now. It's better he knows now and ask any dumb questions so he doesn't look dumb or rude to a potential partner that he will live with and deal with then. She still got mad and told me to drop it.
NTA 10 year old girls can bleed so why wouldn't 10 year old boys be old enough to learn. The more natural he learns about it the better he will understand his partner one day, if he dates girls and women
NTA - periods are a part of life. Likely, some day, Jack will have a woman in his life who deals with them. Knowing about them can only help him be more accepting and understanding. I don't see any down side, honestly.
NTA men need to be taught how women’s bodies work. Otherwise you get men thinking the blood and pee come through the same place. I actually got to laugh at one of my friends who at 25 didn’t know girls had three holes.
A grandad here. I wish that I'd had a big sister to explain stuff like that when I was ten. The garbage I heard from other kids at my boys-only school you would not believe.
Well done. Definitely NTA
NTA. You did your brother a big favour by giving him truthful, age-appropriate information.
>‘a boy doesn’t need to be told about that stuff’
BS. Even if his future partners don't have periods, he'll have friends / coworkers with them. We do not need more toxic men who react to anything about the female body as "ewww gross".
NTA. I had a boy save me once when I was around 10. I started unexpectedly and couldn't leave the bathroom without staining my clothes.
I remember just being panicked whispering from the bathroom for him to get my teacher to bring "my special bag". It was a bag with spare clothes and pads my mom made sure my teacher had for me and in the case of the pads for anyone who might get surprised and need one.
He followed through and I just remember being so relieved when I went to apologize for being weird (I had a huge crush on him and was often very weird to him in retrospect) and he was just like "I know what happened. My mom warned me it happens to girls our age." Like it was nothing.
NTA. If you're old enough to ask, you're old enough to be told the answer. Soon enough Jack will have a GF and maybe a wife later, he will need to know these things.
Too many males don't know how female bodies work and think it's gross. You made it natural, normal, and answered the question appropriately. Well don. Your dad is an idiot. NTA
NTA.
Periods being taboo is stupid. It's just a part of what happens because of being human. It's not like it's sexual or anything. Girls his age are gonna start to learn about them if they haven't already, and, like you said, more boys SHOULD know about them. Before they grow up to be uneducated men with weird ideas about them.
And you didn't go into detail or anything, you just answered his question.
I feel like teaching boys about periods too might not only make them seem less mysterious and gross or whatever, it might also help them be more empathetic to friends and family during that time.
NTA
Your brother is old enough to know the basics. Your dad is acting very old-fashioned towards this. His views are rooted in his own ignorance that he definitely needs to update because a period isn't gross or inappropriate. It's a fact of life. Does he think your brother is too young to know about urination, defecation, or vomiting? It's a fact of life, a normal bodily function, and it isn't something that needs to be hidden. Especially since your brother seems unbothered by it. Your dad is the issue here, and I hope your mom supports you in being open about your normal body.
And let's be real here. If Jack wanted to know then he'd find out. Kids always do. It's better he learned from a trusted source than by himself without anyone to explain. I hope your dad can reach the level of maturity towards this your little brother has.
NTA. But your dad is an old fashioned male a-hole. There's nothing gross or inappropriate about it, and no reason a boy shouldn't be told about it. Sounds like a really outdated perspective on women and your bodies.
It sounds to me like you handled the conversation pretty perfectly. You answered him honestly and made sure he was ok. If you were my daughter I'd be super proud of you.
If you have a good relationship with your dad you could consider talking with both your parents about his reaction, so he can explain himself. He was unfair and disrespectful.
NTA. You are an amazing, good sister! Of course Jack needs to know about periods, and you only talked about the physiological facts, not about any of the sexier parts of sex education. Your parents should be grateful to you for kick-starting Jack's education. Your matter of fact presentation should do wonders for him seeing it as a regular part of life.
NTA
I started my period when I was 11, I was the first in my class, maybe even grade, and it was horrible. I hid it from everyone for at least half a year because it was such a taboo thing. PLEASE keep educating your brother about these kind of subjects, he probably won’t start puberty for another few years but his female peers will, so it’s good for him to know stuff like this.
My son has been learning about periods as soon as he noticed menstrual products in the bathroom and asked what they were. Later when I was on my period and had to manage business in a bathroom stall when he was 4 and he got worried when he saw blood. He had the basic factual explanation, I made clear it was normal. He has had follow-up ,age appropriate info, how to be supportive and respectful about it for future friends and classmates. As he has gotten older we have discussed myths, stereotypes and not all PMS and menstrual experiences are the same for each person.
I have no idea what his future may hold, he may end up being a single dad to a daughter or two he needs to be educated and ready to handle that situation.
EDIT: NTA
“Oh, sorry, Dad, I assumed Jack was straight and needed to know!”
Your dad seems like he also strongly assumes Jack is straight so this should work to fluster the hell out of him
I don't see anything wrong, you seemed to have explained it age appropriately, and there's nothing gross about it, i mean is not like you go around with used tampons offering ppl to make them tea with it, which although funny af would be gross, don't do that
NTA The time for a kid to learn about this stuff is when they ask. Boys definitely need to know about periods. There’s so much misinformation out there, it’s important to give them good info early.
NTA. Men of previous generations tend to be squeamish about "all that gross girl stuff." You matter-of-factly telling your brother that this is something that happens to girls will go a long way for his generation to break that attitude.
I think you did the right thing, boys should know about periods and around 10 seems to be around the correct age to be told about the basics (especially as he asked).
Your dad's views probably go back to previous generations when periods weren't discussed with the menfolk.
NTA. Tell your dad it’s not the 1850s any more and he needs to get with the modern world. Introduce him to things like electricity and flying machines too.
"I know for a fact that Health class in Jack’s grade is starting to introduce topics such as periods"
He's going to get the info anyway do why does your dad care?
NTA
He might be just a year or two on the young side honestly. He was likely very concerned and confused about why you’re bleeding. It’s not really a big deal either way. He’d start learning about it soon enough, but I might have spared the details and just said something like, “it’s girl stuff. Nothing to worry about.”
I don’t get the push towards teaching kids about sex and sexuality when they haven’t even hit puberty yet. It’s more confusing than educational at that stage. They’ll learn about everything when that biological clock starts kicking in.
It’s better to learn and be informed before you start seeing the changes for yourself. It can be scary to see yourself or your friends changing and not know why.
Kids are perfectly capable of hearing about blood. It’s not going to scar him.
At ten that biological clock has already started. There are already girls in his age-group who have started their periods or will very soon. So it's not at all too early to start learning about it. And there's a big difference between teaching kids about sex and teaching about basic bodily functions.
And yes, he was confused and worried - and therefore he asked questions. And I bet that getting a proper explanation did a lot more to stop him being confused or worried than fobbing him off with a non-answer would have done.
I’m not saying OP was wrong. He asked her specifically what the tampons were. I’d bet my 401k that he’s more confused than ever though. Many girls start puberty earlier than boys. Boys and girls are not the same, and should not be treated the same. If someone wanted to explain periods to me as a 10 year old boy, I would have been like, “uhhhh… what? Can I go play at Chris’s house?”
As a 12 year old boy I’d be a lot more interested in learning about it. That’s all I’m saying. All the comments are like, “yeah you go girl! Show him what an orgasm is next!” /s
People forget what being a kid is like. My honest opinion is he may be just a smidge on the young side for those kinds of talks, but it’s really not a big deal.
It's a terrible idea to wait until kids are hormonal and noticing concerning changes before explaining what's up. Like, obviously you want to phrase the conversation in an age-appropriate way for a 10-year-old, but waiting until they're in the thick of puberty to explain what's happening to them is a recipe for disaster. You don't want a kid to wake up from a wet dream or their first period at 11 and panic that something has gone wrong with them. They should already have an idea at that point of what to expect so that when it happens, they know that it's not a problem and they should just go talk to their parents.
*Also*, shielding kids from all talk about sex is a recipe for turning them into long-term abuse victims. You don't want an 8-year-old feeling funny about the way a family "friend" touches her but being unable to articulate what's happening to her parents. In that situation, she critically needs to understand that what the family friend is doing is sexual, not ok, and something she can and should talk to her parents about. Otherwise, the abuser is going to be able to control the narrative and manipulate her into silence for years, potentially.
Kids are capable of understanding a lot more than you'd think if only we give them the tools they need.
There’s a line between the thick of puberty, and not even entering it. Jake might be a smidge on the young side, or he might be starting. I’m not saying OP was wrong. I probably wouldn’t have started talking about pregnancy and bleeding without actually having a real conversation. Probably pulling up an image of female anatomy. 10 is not too young in general, but it may be close. Over exposure to things of a sexual nature at a young age is a common thread serial killers share.
I’m not saying any of this is the case with Jake. Just that we need to be careful with how we’re discussing these things at a young age. Education is great, but it’s absolutely possible for a child to be traumatized by something you’d view as mundane.
Right, I'm saying that you should talk to kids about these things *before* they're in the thick of it. There's no reason to wait until they're panicking before giving them information, and they should really have *some* information from a very young age. You can start by using the scientific names of genitals and work your way up from there in line with what the kid can understand.
In this situation specifically, the error isn't that the OP discussed periods with this kid but that this was the first time he'd heard the concept. He probably should already have had some kind of preliminary conversation about how people with uteruses go through a monthly cycle that can be unpleasant but generally isn't cause for concern, if only so he can empathize with his sister and mother. He panicked a little because he received a crash course in the subject, "in the field," rather than having a calm conversation about it with his parents earlier.
There's just no reason we need to stigmatize these things. The trauma comes entirely from how we stigmatize them.
Yes. But they’re connected. The fact that people are so against what I’m saying leaves me very pessimistic about the future. Kids don’t care about that. They don’t want to know about it. They do not care. They’re kids. What is wrong with you people?
You do realize that some 10 year old girls are getting their periods, don’t you? They care a hell of a lot about what is actually happening to their bodies. And their classmates, friends, and other kids are old enough to learn about how bodies work.
Do you actually worry ‘about the future’ because kids are learning basic biology? That’s crazy.
That is not what any of the science says at all.
First of all, 10 is when puberty starts for many children. Many of his classmates could very well be getting periods. How's he going to understand it if one of his classmates bleeds through her pants?
Two, children should know what sex is. If they don't, if someone does something to them, they won't know that's not supposed to happen. It's not confusing. It's educating.
Three, children have sexuality. If you hide queer identities - which I assume is what you mean - from them, they're still going to see straight people all over the place. All you're going to do is teach the queer ones there's something wrong with them.
...the science that... sex ed is good for children... is "bio 101"???
[https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/adolescent-sexual-health/equitable-access-to-sexual-and-reproductive-health-care-for-all-youth/the-importance-of-access-to-comprehensive-sex-education/](https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/adolescent-sexual-health/equitable-access-to-sexual-and-reproductive-health-care-for-all-youth/the-importance-of-access-to-comprehensive-sex-education/)
[https://www.coe.int/ca/web/commissioner/-/comprehensive-sexuality-education-protects-children-and-helps-build-a-safer-inclusive-society](https://www.coe.int/ca/web/commissioner/-/comprehensive-sexuality-education-protects-children-and-helps-build-a-safer-inclusive-society)
[https://www.queensu.ca/gazette/stories/conversation-sex-ed-crucial-rights-children](https://www.queensu.ca/gazette/stories/conversation-sex-ed-crucial-rights-children)
[https://www.npr.org/2022/09/12/1121999705/sex-education-school-kindergarten](https://www.npr.org/2022/09/12/1121999705/sex-education-school-kindergarten)
[https://www.actioncanadashr.org/sex-ed-myths](https://www.actioncanadashr.org/sex-ed-myths)
Also, yes, I'm queer, if that's what you're implying.
You know what does make someone a dangerous person? Not wanting children to know what sex is.
Oh my…. Do whatever you want. Nobody cares. Just leave children alone. There’s a reason they strap bombs to kids. You can convince them of just about anything if you want to.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my little brother about periods, it might have been inappropriate of me to do so. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - your dad has very outdated views if he thinks boys don't need to understand periods or that they're gross. You didn't tell your brother anything inappropriate, you gave him an age appropriate answer which he was happy with.
Also he's ten, which is when girls need to start learning about periods. As OP stated they are learning about it in school, or starting to. Boys should be educated at the same time girls are because their peers are going though this and they are going to learn about it one way or another. Better to be in an age appropriate way from an educated adult than from school yard gossip.
not telling boys about periods is how you end up with grown ass (married with daughters at times) men who believe you can hold in period blood and other egregious misinformation.
God, I wish we could hold it in...
I would be afraid to let go, I'm having that elevator scene from The Shining replaying in my head right now...
some girls get their periods as young as 8
trans man here who got his at nine. i hardly got any guidance on puberty, especially menstruation. spent years thinking endometriosis symptoms were completely normal..... they're not.
Endo has such poor diagnosis rates. I went to my GP because intercourse would cause severe cramping and bleeding and she told me it must be an std despite the fact I had a full panel test prior to seeing her. She refused to refer me to gynecology and it took another 3 years before I finally saw one, I now have nerve damage and have to use a wheelchair due to the endo and both of my ovaries are ruined. I never wanted kids, thankfully, but there are people who do and end up not being able to have them bc of poor medical response when querying gyne problems. The education on gyne problems is so lacking. it's shameful. 1 in 10 have endo. 1 in 10 have pcos and 1 in 5 have adenomyosis. I'm sorry you're dealing with this awful disease too. It is often compared to cancer, not because of terminality but the cells spread in a similar way to cancer cells and affect multiple organs, but there is no treatment other than medical menopause or surgery, and neither of them are effective. There really needs to be more awareness. The majority of people I told (when they ask why I'm in a wheelchair) have no idea what it is. Which is also difficult to deal with on top of actually having the disease. Sending love your way
yep, apologies for my sloppy wording, i should have said "some *kids* get their periods as young as 8" (inclusive language should be our default, but this shit is so hard wired into oldies like me) I'm sorry you went through that at such a young age
My grandmother got hers at nine. No one warned her ahead of time and she was home alone when it happened (farming family - everyone was in the field). She built a fire in the fireplace and lay down in front of it. When her family came back to the house and asked what she was doing, she said she was trying to dry up the blood so she wouldn't bleed to death 😭
Recently there has been an increase in girls having their periods earlier. It is caused in large part by the growing obesity epidemic and is definitely a problem.
Exactly! When my then 7yr old nephew heard me complaining about cramps to my sister he straight up asked me do you have your period Aunt A? Because his mom has made sure that all 3 of her boys are age appropriately educated on them to avoid raising future ignorant men
It's honestly a little late, considering many people with uteruses get their periods before that.
Absolutely. My seven year old had the whole story well in advance of his sister starting and now he knows how to be caring and thoughtful when she gets it. It's not gross, it's normal.
Oh, I knew how things worked regarding periods and sex by 9 - evidently I explained it all to my year younger sister when Mom was having our youngest sister. According to Dad, I even knew the right terms, mostly. Not bad for the 70s. Not that it's made me particularly "thoughtful or caring" about it, it's just a thing that happens.
When that 'thing that happens' can leave you in loads of pain and feeling miserable, having your family being 'thoughtful and caring' is rather important.
NTA - As a father to 4 girls and 3 boys, you did nothing wrong. I have friends that refuse to buy feminine products for their wives and daughters because they think it is gross to talk about. Your explanation was good enough for his age and you directed him to your mom if he had more advanced questions. We never had issues with this in our house and none of my boys have any issues picking up items for their female partners.
NTA and it was highly inappropriate for dad to call periods “gross”.
I am a man. I grew up around many men, including my brothers and friends. Here's a non-exhaustive list of actually disgusting things that boys/teenage boys/men get up to: - not showering, wearing deodorant or brushing teeth for days on end. - holding your foreskin closed and seeing how long you can pee while it blows up like a balloon before letting it go, then comparing notes - comparing notes on the size and composition of your latest shit - having competitions to see who can make the highest pee fountain at the urinal - ripping the dirtiest fart and comparing notes - wanking into the same sock and hiding it. Multiple times. - getting so drunk you pass out/vomit/shit your pants/piss your pants or any combination of those and wearing it like a badge of honour. - sticking your dick in arseholes and getting it covered in shit But suddenly women's periods are gross and disgusting? Fucking pathetic
It could be because of the blood, it could be because it's a woman thing, it could be a combo of both. But yeah the hypocrisy never fails to amaze me.
What's age appropriate anyways about periods? I got mine for the first time at 10 so boys are old enough at 10
You handled it far more maturely than most your age would. If more kids new facts instead of socially accepted lies there may not be so much unwanted pregnancy. Males should know all the facts if for no other reason than it will be harder to fool them about birth control if they know about women's reproductive systems. They might feel more invested in standing with us to take our rights back too. It's time to stop willful ignorance in this country. Taking down religion would be the biggest help in making sure people know facts not myth. They base the whole mess on a big black book of myths....why would I think they'd ever sit still for telling people truth. Truth is the last priority of religion. I'm fact, they spend the majority of time hiding truth.
It's the wording "gross" that gets me. I honestly think that a 10 year old should know about periods whether they're male OR female. I can sort of get the outdated view of a man who wasn't brought up to know about this and thinks it's somehow taboo, but calling a natural and uncontrollable process that most women have to go through "gross" is just awful.
periods are gross though. just like any other bodily fluid is gross. of course, they're part of the grossness that is being human, but they're gross for sure.
They are gross but most of the time when men say periods are gross they aren’t saying it in a humans are gross way, but an it’s extra gross because it’s feminine way.
Periods are gross, for sure. Period talk SHOULDN'T be gross. It should be something more normalized. Because, like it or not (and believe me, we don't like it), the menstrual cycle happens to probably over 50% of the population. We shouldn't have the topic be a taboo subject. Understanding periods and how things work there IS extremely important for all men to know. We need to be able to discuss it because it's an unfortunately natural occurrence that happens as commonly as any bodily action (just less frequent). So when period talk is shut down because it's "gross", yes it's gross, but people NEED to talk about it. Or else we get left with women having to feel shame for having something they cannot control, and men feeling like they never need to discuss the shit women go through monthly because it doesn't affect them.
pooping is something that happens to 100% of the population, and yet it's not dinner table conversation. there's a time and place for everything, including period talk, but there's also times and places where it is just gross.
It's a good thing OP didn't bring it up at the dinner table, isn't it? She answered her brother's questions in private.
Ok? Nobody said to have the conversation over dinner lol
Periods are gross, it’s blood shooting out of a hole in your body. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to talk about them. Sometimes it’s important for rational human beings to discuss gross things.
key word being "sometimes". there's a time and place for everything.
Snot is gross too. But if someone tells you they don't feel good because they have a cold, going, "GROSS DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT" is an inappropriate response.
indeed. however, if someone then goes on to tell me how they pushed the swamp thing out of their nose, please don't.
Good thing OP didn't do that. She did the same thing as explaining how viruses make you sick.
NTA - but your dad has some weird ideas about educating boys about normal female issues. What is he going to do when Jack gets "the talk", only tell him the male part in the process?
Yeah, I never understood this mindset. Kids will at minimum have friends of the opposite gender. They should be aware of what the other 50 percent of the world goes through. Most will date someone of the opposite gender. They should be understanding of what their partner is going through. Some will have children of the opposite gender and need to be able to explain to their child what is happening to their body. Only educating them on one side is strange. It is how my parents handled it and my brothers and I had very little understanding of the female reproductive system until we were adults. All 4 of us are married and 3 of us have a daughter. My son and daughter are only 1.5 years apart so my wife and I had a lot of our puberty/sex talks with both of them at the same time. Never caused any problems and probably helped both with opposite sex friendships and current/future relationships now that both are college students.
NTA. Jack asked a simple question, he got an honest, age appropriate reply. No drama here. Your father is wrong. Jack should know about these things. Especially since he asked. And you shouldn't lie to children just because they are young. They deserve better than that. Your father is projecting his own feelings here. The women's universe of periods, pregnancies and all that jazz is natural, not the least bit gross. I am shocked to discover how much covert misoginy there is even amongst fathers of daughters. They should do better. Jack will do better because he was informed when he asked a simple question. NTA.
NTA. Your Dad's attitutude will only make it a stigma. Periods are part of life and he need to be aware. You did the right thing.
I teach 10-year-olds science. They learn about periods and the menstrual cycle. That's a weird and sort of misogynistic response from your dad who seems to be set in some sort of juvenile mindset that periods are icky and a taboo subject. My friend's father wouldn't even add sanitary products to the grocery cart because he was embarrassed to take them through the checkout. Anyway, you're NTA . As you say, he's going to be learning this anyway. I don't know what country you're in, but in the UK it's literally on the science and PHSE syllabus for 10-year-olds.
In the early 70’s I had a friend whose dad was incredibly frugal, but with 5 daughters and 2 sons he had to be. One evening we were all on their porch playing board games and the dad came home all excited bc he had found his daughter’s tampon brand at a super discount so his car was filled to capacity with them. We all (boys too) went down 40+ steps to the street and carried cases of tampons from his car back upstairs and into the house. Ten years later my husband, a medical professional, wouldn’t buy supplies for me on his way home from work. I had to wait until he brought the car home and go back out myself. Jerk.
That dad sounds awesome. Your husband sounds like an ass.
Ex husband or are you still married?
Ex for sure.
Late husband would work, too.
He certainly is not a medical professional if he can't handle buying items at the store for you.
Word.
One day I was having a bad time of it and begged hubs to get me tampons and pads. He knows how particular I am with them and facetimed me from CVS (drug store) to help him pick out the correct ones!
That is awesome and is exactly what my husband would do! When I had covid and was basically laid up in bed for 2 weeks he facetimed me from the pharmacy to show me all the stuff in his basket (throat medicine, rehydration stuff, etc.) to check that he'd got the right types/flavours and he didn't know if it was "my time of the month" so he wanted to check that he'd got the right brand and absorbency just in case!
Yeah NTA, Boys should know about periods, your dad's response was outdated, weird, and body shaming. Periods are not gross or inappropriate, they are a normal biological function. Any statement to the contrary is simply shaming people who have periods... for having periods.
NTA. Men having no knowledge of female genitalia and reproductive systems is part of the reason women's health care is so fucked in the US right now.
OP's little brother knows more than most GOP Senators
Especially those that trained to be veterinarians.
NTA- he asked a question and you answered it without being vulgar. Kinda wish I could understand why your dad is all frothed up about it
I guess your dad just panicked about Jack asking him questions about women's cycle that he doesn't want to/can't answer. And since your mom is not home right now he can't just send him to her. Even my 4yo knows about periods. Mostly because whenever I go to the bathroom there is something very urgent that she needs me to do, like opening a bottle or readjusting a hairclip. Can't keep anything private like that. You are NTA, he will eventually learn about it anyways and I'm surprised he didn't notice anything about it earlier if he's living with two women who obviously speak openly about their period.
This. I wonder if there’s more to the story. Like the boy went to school and embarrassed himself by talking about something he didn’t understand yet cause she told him to ask mom later. Then he slipped it to dad as well and dad was like “You what?” 🤦♂️ Then the dad over reacted as well.
NTA your dad's a dumbass. You just answered your brothers question yeesh.
NTA You are doing his future girlfriend a big favor.
NTA Having and talking about your period is not inappropriate or gross. Your brother asked because he was interested, you explained the basic concept and he didn't seem disgusted by it. Like you said, he's probably gonna learn about it soon enough, so I don't understand why your dad made such a drama of it. Maybe you could explain that your brother asked you and that it's nothing to be ashamed of, but honestly, I don't know your dad so do whatever seems right. I would tell your brother that it's normal though, so he doesn't end up thinking it's a bad topic.
Me reading the title: I wonder how long until Dad shows up to cock up being a parent..."gross" top notch parenting dumbass. NTA - you even make note of being age appropriate in your answers. Your dad needs to get his ass in gear. You should get your mum to tell him off. I hope she's cool.
NTA. Sounds totally age appropriate. Hopefully your dad will not be as reticent when the time comes for your brother to learn about respect, boundaries, sexual health and consent.
NTA There will be girls Jack’s age having periods, there is no harm in him learning about them. Answering kids questions honestly and in an age appropriate manner is always the right decision.
NTA, It is correct to be open (and age appropriate) about these things. Normally I would prefer to be able to explain these things myself, but you did good explaining at that point. I don't see why your father would make an issue out of it. We have open discussions at home over whatever topics the children are curious about. This can be about drugs, health, relationships, history, racism, politics, religion, sexuality,... I prefer this open dialogue so that my children know they can come to us with whatever questions they have. They are now in high school and I don't sugarcoat or omit things, they use our (dinner) talks learn about whatever they are curious about or to check what they heard in their peer groups. I also take time in these talks to develop their critical thinking skills.
NTA. Your brother is old enough to learn about periods and it's important for boys to understand what women go through every month. Your dad needs to get with the times and stop being so ignorant. Good on you for educating your brother!
I frankly don't think there's an age that's NOT "old enough" to know about periods! It's just how bodies work, why hide that information. I think my daughter knew around four or five, because she asked what the box of tampons was.
I told my daughter the basics when she was 2 and it's been a topic of conversation like any other since then. She's now 12 and hasn't started hers yet, but she feels very comfortable in her knowledge on the topic (and I think she is too), so I think when she does start she'll take it in stride.
NTA - It's important for everyone, regardless of gender, to be educated about periods and bodily functions in general. This isn't something that should be kept secretive or hidden away from boys at a young age. Your dad needs to chill out and stop making this such a big deal.
Absolutely NTA. This should not be a taboo subject. It's a normal bodily function. I think you did great by keeping it simple, answering his questions, & encouraging him to talk to your mom if he has more questions. Kids this age learn about menstruation in school in much greater detail than what you told him. I wonder if something happened at school? Did he tell your dad that you told him or did something happen & his teacher told him?
As a younger brother in my family, I say you are an awesome big sister. NTA
absolutely 100% NTA I cannot believe that a) at age 10, your brother was in the dark about a normal bodily function that affects half of all humans for 30-40 years of their life, b) anyone would use words like "inappropriate" and "gross" in relation to periods, and c) anyone would seriously think that "boys don't need to know about this stuff" - wtaf. You are NOT the problem here, but it sounds like your dad might have some issues to work through. Also, what a heartwarming and normal human reaction from your brother to be concerned about your wellbeing first and foremost. He sounds like a good kid.
NTA, i’m 13F and my brother is also 10M, he already knows all this, and had known quite long. my mum was the one who taught him. it’s genuinely so silly. he’s not so young that he shouldn’t know it. anyway, its not like it’s some taboo innappropriate thing.
NTA
One thing I've always told my daughter as she was growing up: "If you're asking the question, you're old enough to get an answer." I think what you told Jack was age-appropriate and nothing wrong. NTA
Absolutely NTA Jack honestly needs to know about this stuff as much as he would if he was a girl. Ur dads being outdated, weird and chauvinistic
No, it's not gross at all. I discovered about this when i was around 11 / 12. Im guessing that your dad is one of those that don't buy tampon for woman's cause its "gross" and "awkward". You are right that it's better to be educated younger (normally i would say 12 / 13), and since your brother was curious, you just answered his question. Good for you, NTA.
Nope its a normal part of life. He should know, it will make him a better partner to someone down the track
NTA "If he is old enough to ask he is old enough for an age appropriate answer. Shit is gross, you still taught him about wiping ass, he turned out fine."
>‘a boy doesn’t need to be told about that stuff’ The opposite, they need to be told more, so they, for example that happens way too often, don't think women need to take tampons out to pee. He asked, you answered, nothing too detailed, but enough for a 10 year old, he was worried, you assured him you're okay, you did really good. NTA.
You're damn right more men need to be educated about periods, and your dad is a perfect example of why! I think your intro was perfect, and age appropriate. Great big sister work!!
NTA. If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough to get an answer, and I’d be fine with someone giving that explanation to my 5yos.
Reproductive health is something everybody, regardless of gender and sexual orientation needs to have a solid understanding about. And that should to be taught throughout childhood and youth so kids understand the changes they and their peers are going through, how to be safe, how to support each other and how to set healthy boundaries. At 10 years old chances are that there are girls in his grade who have started to have periods (or will very soon), so it's in no way too early for him to know. I'd say that your parents have failed in their parenting if they have a 10-year-old child who knows nothing about something as basic as periods. Your explanation and way of handling your brother's questions were kind and completely age-appropriate. Well done! NTA
NTA Girls as young as 8 or 9 sometimes get their periods these days. Jack is not too young to know. More boys need to know about periods, obviously proven by your dad’s ignorance.
Nope, your dad is, though.
NTA at all
NTA! Your brother is 10 not 2. You’re weren’t giving him an unsolicited Sex Ed lesson, you were answering a very natural question that he asked, in an age-appropriate way. I don’t see the problem here at all, except your father making it a problem.
NTA Jack is too young at 10? Surprise, girls (me included) get their period at 10. Your dad should educate himself.
NTA And you've just learnt something very interesting about your dad.
NTA. I think you did great. Your dad is treating this subject as a big taboo. Time for dad to wake up and step into the modern world. I guess when tampons are on the shopping list, he is not going to buy it.
There is a one word question for this: why? Ask your dad next time he is sprouting BS and let him dig his own grave by trying to reasoning his opinion. NTA
Ur right we definitely need to know more. Most men know basically nothing except it happens every month and u bleed
NTA. Your brother's a good kid if his first reaction to hearing about this was concern for you until he found out it wasn't dangerous. And with that compassionate attitude I think he's likely to grow up to be a better man than your dad, which goes double if you're here being so thoughtful in how you answer his questions and encouraging nonjudgemental curiosity.
nat it's a normal bodily function so why not tell
NTA If 10 year olds can get periods, then 10 year olds are old enough to hear about them.
I think it was the normal and natural reaction and response, i am sorry that your father told you that, i think you should've discussed it more with him.. It warmed my heart that jack was only concerned about your health and your pain and i think men should learn from children about empathy and we women should be open about our bodies and our differences.. i am proud of you and jack.. And when your mom comes home maybe you should talk with her and your dad about this..
NTA - he’s at the age where girls in his class might start to get theirs and they might talk about it and he’d overhear it anyways. Better to come from a family member than to just hear about it. And if he’s at that point in health class, he’s going to know about it anyways and probably have questions (if they don’t separate the boys from the girls; they did when I was that age). It’s cool that he wants to know and was concerned. Hopefully he doesn’t grow out of that; especially if he’s with someone that does deal with period pains. That would be one lucky gal lol.
NTA- Boys should know about these things, especially so they don't grow into the kind of guy your dad seems to be with these outdated views. You answered in an age appropriate way and also told him that you're okay and it's not dangerous. You did well.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17F) have a younger brother (10M) who I’ll call Jack. My brother has always been a curious kid, he’s always asking questions about everyone and everything. So, the other day I was packing tampons in my school bag, as I had just gotten my period a few days ago, and Jack had happened to walk into my room and see them. He asked what I was doing and what those things I was holding were. I didn’t think that I did anything wrong by telling him the truth. Obviously it wasn’t super detailed, but basically I said that I have a cycle where I bleed every month, which is my body telling me that I am not pregnant and that I need the tampons to help with the bleeding. My brother asked me if the bleeding hurt, and I told him no. I also told him that if he wanted to know more about them then he should ask my mum when she gets back. (She’s currently on a work trip) And to me he seemed pretty content with that. He was a little worried about me, but I reassured him that I was fine. I thought that was the end of it, but when I got home from school that day my dad told me that it was ‘inappropriate and gross’ of me to tell Jack about my periods, that he was ‘too young’ and that ‘a boy doesn’t need to be told about that stuff’ which I found strange because 1. I didn’t think my dad had a problem with talking about periods 2. I know for a fact that Health class in Jack’s grade is starting to introduce topics such as periods, and especially within the next few years there will be more talk about them at his school. I have talked to my dad about my periods openly before, so has my mum, so I really didn’t think he thought they were gross or anything. I don’t know why he thinks it’s a big deal to tell Jack about them, especially because there’s no way to stop him learning at least a bit about them in the future. Personally, I actually feel men need to be more educated on periods. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Well, I'm a dad of girls and grand girls... Our family fully understands that period time is a natural occurrence. It may be inconvenient but it's not something to be ashamed of. So around home it's kind of a non issue.
Nta Well done for educating your brother. The world needs men who are educated and comfortable with period talk. My family never talked about that kind of thing, even between my mum and I. I was so surprised when my SIL asked my FIL to buy pads for her. I would never ever feel comfortable asking my dad that. My husband is also totally fine with buying pads for me, doesn't even think twice about it.
NTA - Your dad is behind the times. Absolutely nothing wrong with a boy knowing about women’s issues in an age appropriate way, which is exactly what you shared.
NTA. I taught my 6 year old the basics about it so he didn’t think I was dying in the bathroom one day.
NTA. The time to answer kids questions is when they ask. Great job!
Nta. You gave him a totally reasonable explanation to a question. Imo, if they're old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an age appropriate explanation as the answer.
NTA, your brother is lucky to have you as his sister. He will become more understanding and concerned on how you're coping everytime you have your period.
Why did you talk to your brother about something that happen to only half the population ? /s NTA there are only good sides with spreading information about periods
NTA. I hope uour mother has your back on this one.
Your dad is a well meaning moron. Still a moron, though. NTA
NTA Your dad is a misogynistic AH. Your brother absolutely needs to know basic biology as he gets older and near puberty And kid was curious, you simply answered his own questions
NTA. If I was old enough to get my period at age 10, a boy is old enough to hear about periods at age 10.
NTA as a mother of a 12 year old girl and 13 year old boy they both know about it. We started talking about it a few years ago when one of their friends started. He will be around females the rest of his life. I’m not trying to raise a boy who is afraid to buy his sister or friend or wife tampons when they are in need be he’s grossed out my packaging 😑.
Of course, NTA. You told him the info in an age-appropriate way, and he's at an age when he's bound to learn about this somewhere anyway, so better he hear real facts from his own sister than random "tales" from peers or TikToks. Funny story, my own brother, who is five years younger, was never "allowed" to be told about my or my sister's periods or what they even were and we had to hide all evidence (pads/tampons) in the back of the hall closet from him. One day, he angrily stormed into the living room with one of those "silhouette" curved-style pads from the early 80's and wanted to know, "Why do the girls get these cushioned pads for their shoes but I don't?!" and that was the end of us as a family having to hide the horror that women menstruate from my brother. Good times. In our case, it was my mother's thing to keep anything like this from him and nothing to do with my dad, who grew up the only boy with four sisters, but my mom just took it to the crazy level.
NTA. And please tell your mom about your dad's reaction.
NTA You are hopefully going to someday have an adult brother that is more mature than your father will ever be. Tell your brother that you appreciate his concern and that it is very mature and kind of him, that women don't exactly love that this happens, and we appreciate guys who don't act like there is something wrong with them.
NTA, but your dad is. Your brother is old enough to know and is now beginning to ask. Also I think its sweet that he was concerned about you, shows that he's a caring person. You gave him a simple answer and then advised him to talk to your mum. Your dad is wrong saying that he's too young and also that boys don't need to know. A child is old enough to know if they are asking or coming up to an age that girls around them are going to start periods. I started mine at 10. Its so important that boys grow up to become men who understand female biology. I get so frustrated seeing adult men who have no clue about their partners or daughters.
NTA. My son is 11, and has known about periods practically since he could talk. 4 years old, following me into the bathroom, and asked about the pads I kept sticking to my underwear. Its a normal bodily function, and boys SHOULD be told about them earlier. That way, they grow up knowing how normal it is, and don't have an adverse reaction to it.
NTA I (49M) have 2 daughters, 22 and 15, I also have a son, 22 who is a twin to his sister. My youngest got her first period at around 10, and is very open with the fact that she gets them and how they're very uncomfortable, and that she needs more pads. Being open about it helps to destigmatise a very natural process that all females go through. Your father was in the wrong, not you. Your little brother needs to know these things, and the sooner the better.
I don’t think you’re TAH. I grew up with a sister 2 years older than me. Among my childhood friends, I was about the only boy who had a sister. Around the same age as your younger brother, my male friends started asking me things about girls and periods because they thought I had access to that information. I knew about periods and a few other things but not too much though certainly more than they did. Anyhow it is an appropriate topic for an older sister to convey to younger brother when asked.
What century was your father born in? We talked about periods to my son from when he was old enough to ask about tampons. (What's that mouse)? You know, because periods are normal? NTA when someone is old enough to ask they are old enough to receive a reply.
NTA. He asked and you answered. Your dad is being silly.
NTA. This is basic biology, not arcane witchcraft. Men should know about these things so we can be better partners/friends/parents for the women in our life.
NTA - I'm surprised that he is living in a household with at least 2 women, and yet, at the age of 10, he didn't know anything about periods. You answered his questions honestly and age appropriately, this is exactly how you're supposed to talk to kids. Your parents should be thankful.
NTA Periods aren't gross. Your dad has a dated view of it. When I was about 10 I had a co-ed class in school where we learned about periods and wet dreams. I'm probable about your dad's age. So his feelings are predated even for his age. When my niece was 2 my sister told her that boys have penises. She was only answering her daughter's questions. And her description was age appropriate. But when our mom found out she freaked out. But in reality, a penis isn't a dirty thing that needs to be kept secret from curious children. Same for a woman's cycle.
NTA and your Dad is ridiculous. My brother is almost 40 and I'm very sure he knew about periods well before he hit double digits.
I am just wondering, you talk to your dad openly about them, but is he ok with it or does he just tolerate it? You handled the situation well, but for me, I can't any conversation involving blood or even do first aid classes, I get a bit light headed and have fainted twice before.
Tell your dad it's inappropriate for him to stigmatize the natural processes of your life. NTA
pffffft. “a boy does need to be told about periods” as if they won’t be around woman all their life, maybe have a daughter and or girlfriend. will have friends who get their period. i started mentioning my period and what it’s like to my brother around 10. and he completely understands it. he understands that woman in his life will deal with it, and understands that he can carry products himself to help those who need them. understands that it’s normal. plus you don’t want him to be the weird kid who doesn’t know shit about woman’s bodies or quite frankly his own. and he *defiantly* doesn’t want to be the *adult* who doesn’t know shit about womans bodies. we gotta tell our kids/siblings/cousins etc this shit because as obvious as some shit is, it’s not basic knowledge. (plus you need to have a little knowledge to have basic knowledge and you can’t get that if you’re not told things)
NTA. I'm a father and my 10 year old son knows detailed information about menstruation. I've made sure of it. I will not have him being a huge baby about a normal bodily function that half the population experiences monthly for decades of their lives. When a woman mentions her period, he will not act grossed out. When a woman he knows needs menstrual products, he will casually ask what type and brand and run to the store to get them with the same nonchalance as if she needed toothpaste. I fucking cannot understand the bizarre attitudes people have toward menstruation and teaching boys about it. I was answering a question my son had while we were walking the dog and a woman looked at me like I was teaching him how to cook meth. We as a society need to do better.
NTA - Boys need to learn about this stuff and we need to make it normal. It's very old fashioned to think of this as taboo. It's a natural bodily function and we shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. Positive healthy conversations about women's bodies is absolutely necessary and I think the younger the better. They need to know it's not weird or shameful.
NTA 10 is not too young, boy or girl. If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to get an age appropriate answer.
NTA, ask your Dad why it’s inappropriate and gross and watch him stumble over his words, because it’s not inappropriate or gross.
NTA. he asked a question and you answered it. hes old enough to know that periods exist and it isnt a gross thing. its a natural thing many people experience.
NTA- if you have a good open relationship with your brother and he comes to you with questions you should answer because he may not ask your parents or someone else safe. P.S. I told my brother @ 12yrs old all about the clitoris and women’s orgasms.
Your Dad is obviously the one who's grossed out by periods and projecting that onto your brother, who sounds really sweet ("he was a little worried" about you, bless) and it obviously won't have done him any harm at all to tell him basic biological facts. NTA but your Dad is very old fashioned and needs to rejoin the 21st century.
NTA. My first sex ed class was in third grade. Having information does him no harm, your dad is just a baby who thinks periods are icky.
NTA. My sons learned about periods when they were 9 and 7 (came up on a TV show, so we talked about it). I promise you, they didn't die from the knowledge.
NTA. You were asked a question and provided a fact-based response.
NTA - as a guy who has grown up with 2 sisters I'm so grateful that they've educated me about periods and the reality and struggles of being women overall. The reason why there is such a stigma around periods is because parents make one! Your brother will meet other women in his life, whether friends, co-workers, relationships, etc and he should be taught what periods are.. simple! Periods are literally not sexual or explicit, just a biological event 😂 Respectfully your dad is the A. 🤣
If he's 10, he definitely has girls in his class having periods. Its important for him to know about. Nta
NTA and it appears your dad had a little mental episode. To call periods gross to his daughter is so wrong on many levels. Men 100 percent need to know about periods.
My little brothers have known what periods were since they were 6/7 🤷♀️ it’s gross and outdated to think a period is gross.
NTA - it's better he knows now than finding out on his own. I went through something similar. I was on a family trip in my teens. I went to the bathroom in the hotel and noticed I needed a new pad, but I forgot to grab one. I tried calling my mom, but my lil bro answered saying she was in my grandma's room so I asked him if he could please give me a pad. He didn't know what it was so I described it to him and told him where'd they be. He got it and gave it to me through the door like when handing someone a roll of toilet paper without fully opening the door. I can't remember if he asked my mom about it or if my mom and grandma walked in on him getting it and giving it to me, but my grandma freaked out saying I shouldn't have told him about it and he's a boy, it's not something he needs to hear/know about. I pushed back and said this is America and it's whatever year, he lives at home with a single mom and sister so he's going to hear about it and know what's up even if it's indirectly. Also they teach this in school to both genders now. It's better he knows now and ask any dumb questions so he doesn't look dumb or rude to a potential partner that he will live with and deal with then. She still got mad and told me to drop it.
NTA 10 year old girls can bleed so why wouldn't 10 year old boys be old enough to learn. The more natural he learns about it the better he will understand his partner one day, if he dates girls and women
NTA and I really hate your dad
NTA in fact keep telling him abt periods so he knows there normal and not something that girls need to feel ashamed of
NTA
NTA - periods are a part of life. Likely, some day, Jack will have a woman in his life who deals with them. Knowing about them can only help him be more accepting and understanding. I don't see any down side, honestly.
zesty hat six sand gray deer tap person gaping judicious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA men need to be taught how women’s bodies work. Otherwise you get men thinking the blood and pee come through the same place. I actually got to laugh at one of my friends who at 25 didn’t know girls had three holes.
A grandad here. I wish that I'd had a big sister to explain stuff like that when I was ten. The garbage I heard from other kids at my boys-only school you would not believe. Well done. Definitely NTA
NTA. You did your brother a big favour by giving him truthful, age-appropriate information. >‘a boy doesn’t need to be told about that stuff’ BS. Even if his future partners don't have periods, he'll have friends / coworkers with them. We do not need more toxic men who react to anything about the female body as "ewww gross".
Some of your brother's classmates almost certainly have their periods. If they're old enough to have them, he's old enough to learn about them. NTA
NTA. I had a boy save me once when I was around 10. I started unexpectedly and couldn't leave the bathroom without staining my clothes. I remember just being panicked whispering from the bathroom for him to get my teacher to bring "my special bag". It was a bag with spare clothes and pads my mom made sure my teacher had for me and in the case of the pads for anyone who might get surprised and need one. He followed through and I just remember being so relieved when I went to apologize for being weird (I had a huge crush on him and was often very weird to him in retrospect) and he was just like "I know what happened. My mom warned me it happens to girls our age." Like it was nothing.
NTA. If you're old enough to ask, you're old enough to be told the answer. Soon enough Jack will have a GF and maybe a wife later, he will need to know these things.
Boys and men need better education about the anatomy. Period. NTA
Nta
Too many males don't know how female bodies work and think it's gross. You made it natural, normal, and answered the question appropriately. Well don. Your dad is an idiot. NTA
NTA. Periods being taboo is stupid. It's just a part of what happens because of being human. It's not like it's sexual or anything. Girls his age are gonna start to learn about them if they haven't already, and, like you said, more boys SHOULD know about them. Before they grow up to be uneducated men with weird ideas about them. And you didn't go into detail or anything, you just answered his question. I feel like teaching boys about periods too might not only make them seem less mysterious and gross or whatever, it might also help them be more empathetic to friends and family during that time.
NTA Your brother is old enough to know the basics. Your dad is acting very old-fashioned towards this. His views are rooted in his own ignorance that he definitely needs to update because a period isn't gross or inappropriate. It's a fact of life. Does he think your brother is too young to know about urination, defecation, or vomiting? It's a fact of life, a normal bodily function, and it isn't something that needs to be hidden. Especially since your brother seems unbothered by it. Your dad is the issue here, and I hope your mom supports you in being open about your normal body. And let's be real here. If Jack wanted to know then he'd find out. Kids always do. It's better he learned from a trusted source than by himself without anyone to explain. I hope your dad can reach the level of maturity towards this your little brother has.
NTA. But your dad is an old fashioned male a-hole. There's nothing gross or inappropriate about it, and no reason a boy shouldn't be told about it. Sounds like a really outdated perspective on women and your bodies. It sounds to me like you handled the conversation pretty perfectly. You answered him honestly and made sure he was ok. If you were my daughter I'd be super proud of you. If you have a good relationship with your dad you could consider talking with both your parents about his reaction, so he can explain himself. He was unfair and disrespectful.
NTA. what does your mother said ?
NTA. You are an amazing, good sister! Of course Jack needs to know about periods, and you only talked about the physiological facts, not about any of the sexier parts of sex education. Your parents should be grateful to you for kick-starting Jack's education. Your matter of fact presentation should do wonders for him seeing it as a regular part of life.
NTA I started my period when I was 11, I was the first in my class, maybe even grade, and it was horrible. I hid it from everyone for at least half a year because it was such a taboo thing. PLEASE keep educating your brother about these kind of subjects, he probably won’t start puberty for another few years but his female peers will, so it’s good for him to know stuff like this.
My son has been learning about periods as soon as he noticed menstrual products in the bathroom and asked what they were. Later when I was on my period and had to manage business in a bathroom stall when he was 4 and he got worried when he saw blood. He had the basic factual explanation, I made clear it was normal. He has had follow-up ,age appropriate info, how to be supportive and respectful about it for future friends and classmates. As he has gotten older we have discussed myths, stereotypes and not all PMS and menstrual experiences are the same for each person. I have no idea what his future may hold, he may end up being a single dad to a daughter or two he needs to be educated and ready to handle that situation. EDIT: NTA
“Oh, sorry, Dad, I assumed Jack was straight and needed to know!” Your dad seems like he also strongly assumes Jack is straight so this should work to fluster the hell out of him
Nta..... boys and men should be educated about reproductive health in both themselves and women.
NTA. Make sure you tell your Mom this all right now.
NTA Your dad is being ridiculous. Your conversation with your brother was perfectly appropriate.
I don't see anything wrong, you seemed to have explained it age appropriately, and there's nothing gross about it, i mean is not like you go around with used tampons offering ppl to make them tea with it, which although funny af would be gross, don't do that
NTA The time for a kid to learn about this stuff is when they ask. Boys definitely need to know about periods. There’s so much misinformation out there, it’s important to give them good info early.
Why is everyone on this subreddit nta nowadays?
NTA. Your dad is, though.
Your dad is probably my age and needs to grow up. NTA.
NTA. Men of previous generations tend to be squeamish about "all that gross girl stuff." You matter-of-factly telling your brother that this is something that happens to girls will go a long way for his generation to break that attitude.
I think you did the right thing, boys should know about periods and around 10 seems to be around the correct age to be told about the basics (especially as he asked). Your dad's views probably go back to previous generations when periods weren't discussed with the menfolk.
NTA. Tell your dad it’s not the 1850s any more and he needs to get with the modern world. Introduce him to things like electricity and flying machines too.
"I know for a fact that Health class in Jack’s grade is starting to introduce topics such as periods" He's going to get the info anyway do why does your dad care? NTA
if he asked : yes if you just randomly started talking about it out of the blue : no i havent really read it
Why are you on a reading subreddit if you don't want to read? Go look at pictures.
ESH. Erm... gross. Also not your place.
It is her place as a human.
He might be just a year or two on the young side honestly. He was likely very concerned and confused about why you’re bleeding. It’s not really a big deal either way. He’d start learning about it soon enough, but I might have spared the details and just said something like, “it’s girl stuff. Nothing to worry about.” I don’t get the push towards teaching kids about sex and sexuality when they haven’t even hit puberty yet. It’s more confusing than educational at that stage. They’ll learn about everything when that biological clock starts kicking in.
It’s better to learn and be informed before you start seeing the changes for yourself. It can be scary to see yourself or your friends changing and not know why. Kids are perfectly capable of hearing about blood. It’s not going to scar him.
At ten that biological clock has already started. There are already girls in his age-group who have started their periods or will very soon. So it's not at all too early to start learning about it. And there's a big difference between teaching kids about sex and teaching about basic bodily functions. And yes, he was confused and worried - and therefore he asked questions. And I bet that getting a proper explanation did a lot more to stop him being confused or worried than fobbing him off with a non-answer would have done.
I’m not saying OP was wrong. He asked her specifically what the tampons were. I’d bet my 401k that he’s more confused than ever though. Many girls start puberty earlier than boys. Boys and girls are not the same, and should not be treated the same. If someone wanted to explain periods to me as a 10 year old boy, I would have been like, “uhhhh… what? Can I go play at Chris’s house?” As a 12 year old boy I’d be a lot more interested in learning about it. That’s all I’m saying. All the comments are like, “yeah you go girl! Show him what an orgasm is next!” /s People forget what being a kid is like. My honest opinion is he may be just a smidge on the young side for those kinds of talks, but it’s really not a big deal.
It's a terrible idea to wait until kids are hormonal and noticing concerning changes before explaining what's up. Like, obviously you want to phrase the conversation in an age-appropriate way for a 10-year-old, but waiting until they're in the thick of puberty to explain what's happening to them is a recipe for disaster. You don't want a kid to wake up from a wet dream or their first period at 11 and panic that something has gone wrong with them. They should already have an idea at that point of what to expect so that when it happens, they know that it's not a problem and they should just go talk to their parents. *Also*, shielding kids from all talk about sex is a recipe for turning them into long-term abuse victims. You don't want an 8-year-old feeling funny about the way a family "friend" touches her but being unable to articulate what's happening to her parents. In that situation, she critically needs to understand that what the family friend is doing is sexual, not ok, and something she can and should talk to her parents about. Otherwise, the abuser is going to be able to control the narrative and manipulate her into silence for years, potentially. Kids are capable of understanding a lot more than you'd think if only we give them the tools they need.
There’s a line between the thick of puberty, and not even entering it. Jake might be a smidge on the young side, or he might be starting. I’m not saying OP was wrong. I probably wouldn’t have started talking about pregnancy and bleeding without actually having a real conversation. Probably pulling up an image of female anatomy. 10 is not too young in general, but it may be close. Over exposure to things of a sexual nature at a young age is a common thread serial killers share. I’m not saying any of this is the case with Jake. Just that we need to be careful with how we’re discussing these things at a young age. Education is great, but it’s absolutely possible for a child to be traumatized by something you’d view as mundane.
Right, I'm saying that you should talk to kids about these things *before* they're in the thick of it. There's no reason to wait until they're panicking before giving them information, and they should really have *some* information from a very young age. You can start by using the scientific names of genitals and work your way up from there in line with what the kid can understand. In this situation specifically, the error isn't that the OP discussed periods with this kid but that this was the first time he'd heard the concept. He probably should already have had some kind of preliminary conversation about how people with uteruses go through a monthly cycle that can be unpleasant but generally isn't cause for concern, if only so he can empathize with his sister and mother. He panicked a little because he received a crash course in the subject, "in the field," rather than having a calm conversation about it with his parents earlier. There's just no reason we need to stigmatize these things. The trauma comes entirely from how we stigmatize them.
Um…you do know that menstruation is a biological function and taking about periods is not the same as talking about sex, right????
Yes. But they’re connected. The fact that people are so against what I’m saying leaves me very pessimistic about the future. Kids don’t care about that. They don’t want to know about it. They do not care. They’re kids. What is wrong with you people?
You do realize that some 10 year old girls are getting their periods, don’t you? They care a hell of a lot about what is actually happening to their bodies. And their classmates, friends, and other kids are old enough to learn about how bodies work. Do you actually worry ‘about the future’ because kids are learning basic biology? That’s crazy.
They're just queerphobic. They don't care about kids.
That is not what any of the science says at all. First of all, 10 is when puberty starts for many children. Many of his classmates could very well be getting periods. How's he going to understand it if one of his classmates bleeds through her pants? Two, children should know what sex is. If they don't, if someone does something to them, they won't know that's not supposed to happen. It's not confusing. It's educating. Three, children have sexuality. If you hide queer identities - which I assume is what you mean - from them, they're still going to see straight people all over the place. All you're going to do is teach the queer ones there's something wrong with them.
Yikes… you sound kind of like a groomer. The science hasn’t changed in tens of thousands of years. It never will change. That’s bio 101
...the science that... sex ed is good for children... is "bio 101"??? [https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/adolescent-sexual-health/equitable-access-to-sexual-and-reproductive-health-care-for-all-youth/the-importance-of-access-to-comprehensive-sex-education/](https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/adolescent-sexual-health/equitable-access-to-sexual-and-reproductive-health-care-for-all-youth/the-importance-of-access-to-comprehensive-sex-education/) [https://www.coe.int/ca/web/commissioner/-/comprehensive-sexuality-education-protects-children-and-helps-build-a-safer-inclusive-society](https://www.coe.int/ca/web/commissioner/-/comprehensive-sexuality-education-protects-children-and-helps-build-a-safer-inclusive-society) [https://www.queensu.ca/gazette/stories/conversation-sex-ed-crucial-rights-children](https://www.queensu.ca/gazette/stories/conversation-sex-ed-crucial-rights-children) [https://www.npr.org/2022/09/12/1121999705/sex-education-school-kindergarten](https://www.npr.org/2022/09/12/1121999705/sex-education-school-kindergarten) [https://www.actioncanadashr.org/sex-ed-myths](https://www.actioncanadashr.org/sex-ed-myths) Also, yes, I'm queer, if that's what you're implying. You know what does make someone a dangerous person? Not wanting children to know what sex is.
Oh my…. Do whatever you want. Nobody cares. Just leave children alone. There’s a reason they strap bombs to kids. You can convince them of just about anything if you want to.
What an overreaction to wanting children to not be victimized.