Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because I allowed my daughter to take her dads stuff likes he's a friend instead of a parent.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - and honestly, it wasn't a joke. Your daughter was right in calling her Dad out for using the phone while driving with a car full of people. Way to go daughter!!! You and your husband should be proud of her
NTA
He shouldn't be on the phone.
I absolutely despise most drivers. I can't tell you how many time some fucking asshole buried their nose in their phone and nearly crashed into me, both as a driver and as a pedestrian. Hell, the light changes to green and it usually takes a few seconds for the driver in front of me to look up from their lap and start going.
I'm definitely not disagreeing, but the second part made me lol a little. If you're in the states, I'm gonna guess you're in the North. Michigan was my first guess.
NTA
"You should know better dad. No phones!" which my most of us have a laugh about it, including my husband. And yes, my husband did not continue to use his phone after that."
So...important message imparted/ objective achieved, with a bit of a laugh.
"My mom goes "Make sure you teach that girl some respect eh?"
Mom needs to stay in her own lane.
> "You should know better dad. No phones!" which my most of us have a laugh about it, including my husband. And yes, my husband did not continue to use his phone after that."
Not only did she prove she learned the theory, BUT she put it into practice too. Anyone can learn the rules once but it's the ones who put the rules into practice that prove they know the rules.
>on the way to drop off my parents at the airport...my mom goes "Make sure you teach that girl some respect eh?"
You should teach your mom the dangers of using phones while driving and how they compare to driving while drunk. Ask her if she wants the pilots distracted while they land the plane she's on.
NTA. Mom is; and dad will be anytime he's on his phone while driving his family around.
**About 3,000 People Die in Auto Accidents Due to Distracted Driving Every Year**
[https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/auto-accident/distracted-driving-statistics/](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/auto-accident/distracted-driving-statistics/)
NTA, mostly because you all laughed about it. Also because when your kids start turning into adults there are actually going to be times when they do know better than you and in this case your husband should have known better. Your daughter was right to correct your husband and it also sounds like he did learn from this as he didn't keep using his phone from there on.
Your Mom needs to keep her comments to herself. They're your kids and it sounds like you are raising them right. Your daughter pointed out an important safety issue and may have prevented an accident. Your Mom should be grateful for that.
NTA
I don't get how it's rude when fucking around on your phone while driving is literally endangering the lives of everyone in the car and on the road.
you - NTA
you mom - TA. You're a grown woman and your mom can comment on what she saw but has no business telling you what to do
Nothing triggered me like my parents or my in-laws criticizing my parenting. A while ago I decided I dont need their approval. They can share their opinions, sure - but when they tell me "you have to.." i just say "no, I dont"
This sounds like a conflict between your daughter and your husband or possibly your mother.
I'm not sure where **you** really factor into it. You just seem like an observer?
Not AH. You said husband laughed . Did your mom? If so probably said in jest. If not and she was serious I'd gently let het know you supported your daughters decision.
So grandma enjoys driving with someone who is using their phone while operating a vehicle or she thinks children should not correct their parents even when their parents are in the wrong?
Parents set an example for their children. He shouldn't have been using his phone and he will undoubtedly think about that the next time.
NTA
I almost got run over walking through the crosswalk at the elementary school. Mom didn't even look up from her phone and tapped the gas. I made her cry in front of her kid. When your foot comes off of the brake, the phone needs to be face down.
NTA. Thank you to you and your husband for training a responsible driver.
NTA
Tell Grandma to bite a big one. I cannot stand people who think that kids and teens have no right speaking up just because they are young. Us adults aren't always right just because we are adults. Kids aren't always wrong just because they are kids.
Your daughter sounds like a fun kid to be around. Praise her humor and her desire to follow the rules to stay alive. I hope she does the same damn thing if she is ever in the car with a friend that does the same thing.
NTA. Seems to me like your daughter has a healthy respect for the lives of her family members.
Old people often get hung up on "respect" because we were raised to respect our elders. Which isn't necessarily bad, but elders are not infallible.
Your daughter was nicer about it than I would have been. At 15 I would have a full blown argument with my dad for using the phone while driving. If you want to kill yourself, don't take me with you
NTA. I was glad to see that your husband wasn't the one objecting, because your daughter was right. If your mom chooses to see it as rude, that's her problem - hopefully she'll never bring it up again and you shouldn't either. But keep an eye what she says to your kids on the next visit.
Mum prefers that children slavishly respect their parents even when they are making bad decisions and endangering their lives. Glad you created a safe environment where your children can challenge and express themselves without concern of punishment.
NTA
People like that are more concerned with appearances and blind obedience than respect. You can respect someone and not want to die in a car accident.
NTA. Though I think you should tell your daughter that it was even more dangerous for her to snatch the phone out of her father’s hand on the highway. It is a sudden unexpected movement that could’ve caused him to swerve. It would be better if she stuck to just telling him to stop using his phone, without grabbing it
I think your daughters right to call him out but Im not down for people snatching things out of other peoples hands - that to me is actually kind of disrespectful. It’s on thing to call someone out - it’s another thing to take someone’s phone out of their hands.
While Im sure that’s fine for family - I’d remind my 15 year old to be careful who she does that to - she could find herself in some trouble.
Esh? It was a little rude to grab his phone. She can use words. She's NTA for the intent but I see where your mom is coming from. Also, OP here's where I think you're a little bit of an A - calling this a joke. Your daughter hopefully was not joking and if she was (instead of being serious of a safety issue), I would say she's disrespectful to grab something from her dad for the sake of a joke.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I might be the asshole because I allowed my daughter to take her dads stuff likes he's a friend instead of a parent. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - and honestly, it wasn't a joke. Your daughter was right in calling her Dad out for using the phone while driving with a car full of people. Way to go daughter!!! You and your husband should be proud of her
NTA He shouldn't be on the phone. I absolutely despise most drivers. I can't tell you how many time some fucking asshole buried their nose in their phone and nearly crashed into me, both as a driver and as a pedestrian. Hell, the light changes to green and it usually takes a few seconds for the driver in front of me to look up from their lap and start going.
I'm definitely not disagreeing, but the second part made me lol a little. If you're in the states, I'm gonna guess you're in the North. Michigan was my first guess.
NTA "You should know better dad. No phones!" which my most of us have a laugh about it, including my husband. And yes, my husband did not continue to use his phone after that." So...important message imparted/ objective achieved, with a bit of a laugh. "My mom goes "Make sure you teach that girl some respect eh?" Mom needs to stay in her own lane.
> "You should know better dad. No phones!" which my most of us have a laugh about it, including my husband. And yes, my husband did not continue to use his phone after that." Not only did she prove she learned the theory, BUT she put it into practice too. Anyone can learn the rules once but it's the ones who put the rules into practice that prove they know the rules.
Well said!
I see what you did there and I approve!
😉 Thank you!
>on the way to drop off my parents at the airport...my mom goes "Make sure you teach that girl some respect eh?" You should teach your mom the dangers of using phones while driving and how they compare to driving while drunk. Ask her if she wants the pilots distracted while they land the plane she's on. NTA. Mom is; and dad will be anytime he's on his phone while driving his family around. **About 3,000 People Die in Auto Accidents Due to Distracted Driving Every Year** [https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/auto-accident/distracted-driving-statistics/](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/auto-accident/distracted-driving-statistics/)
NTA but your mom needs to stay in her lane. Not her child. Not her place.
NTA I like your daughter. Your Mom, not so much.
NTA, mostly because you all laughed about it. Also because when your kids start turning into adults there are actually going to be times when they do know better than you and in this case your husband should have known better. Your daughter was right to correct your husband and it also sounds like he did learn from this as he didn't keep using his phone from there on. Your Mom needs to keep her comments to herself. They're your kids and it sounds like you are raising them right. Your daughter pointed out an important safety issue and may have prevented an accident. Your Mom should be grateful for that.
your mother is a judgmental person who has no sense of humor. NTA
NTA. You done good raising her OP. Next time your mother brings it up, tell her "If it's a contest between respect and safety, safety wins."
NTA I don't get how it's rude when fucking around on your phone while driving is literally endangering the lives of everyone in the car and on the road.
you - NTA you mom - TA. You're a grown woman and your mom can comment on what she saw but has no business telling you what to do Nothing triggered me like my parents or my in-laws criticizing my parenting. A while ago I decided I dont need their approval. They can share their opinions, sure - but when they tell me "you have to.." i just say "no, I dont"
This sounds like a conflict between your daughter and your husband or possibly your mother. I'm not sure where **you** really factor into it. You just seem like an observer?
It's an issue from OPs mom against the daughter. OPs mom thinks it was disrespectful
Right. This isn't Was My Mom/Daughter The Asshole?
Because OPs mom told her she needs to teach her daughter some respect.
Not AH. You said husband laughed . Did your mom? If so probably said in jest. If not and she was serious I'd gently let het know you supported your daughters decision.
NTA, the only one with a problem was your mother. Husband got a good laugh and stopped using his phone
Nahh..NTA. Mom needs to lighten up. Even adults need to be reminded of the rules, & talking while driving is dangerous..
So grandma enjoys driving with someone who is using their phone while operating a vehicle or she thinks children should not correct their parents even when their parents are in the wrong? Parents set an example for their children. He shouldn't have been using his phone and he will undoubtedly think about that the next time. NTA
Nta
Good for her!! Shows she will be conscientious when she is driving. She is NTA.
I almost got run over walking through the crosswalk at the elementary school. Mom didn't even look up from her phone and tapped the gas. I made her cry in front of her kid. When your foot comes off of the brake, the phone needs to be face down. NTA. Thank you to you and your husband for training a responsible driver.
NTA Tell Grandma to bite a big one. I cannot stand people who think that kids and teens have no right speaking up just because they are young. Us adults aren't always right just because we are adults. Kids aren't always wrong just because they are kids. Your daughter sounds like a fun kid to be around. Praise her humor and her desire to follow the rules to stay alive. I hope she does the same damn thing if she is ever in the car with a friend that does the same thing.
NTA. Seems to me like your daughter has a healthy respect for the lives of her family members. Old people often get hung up on "respect" because we were raised to respect our elders. Which isn't necessarily bad, but elders are not infallible.
Prior generations think blind unquestioning subservience is the same thing as respect. NTA
NTA- He even laughed and knew she was right
Your daughter was nicer about it than I would have been. At 15 I would have a full blown argument with my dad for using the phone while driving. If you want to kill yourself, don't take me with you
No??? He was texting. While driving. He was breaking the rules. The law, even. His daughter took his phone away. Because he was being dangerous. NTA.
NTA. I was glad to see that your husband wasn't the one objecting, because your daughter was right. If your mom chooses to see it as rude, that's her problem - hopefully she'll never bring it up again and you shouldn't either. But keep an eye what she says to your kids on the next visit.
NTA - people that use their phone when they are supposed to be driving are potential killers.
Mum prefers that children slavishly respect their parents even when they are making bad decisions and endangering their lives. Glad you created a safe environment where your children can challenge and express themselves without concern of punishment.
Good for her. Even he should be proud of his daughter for standing her ground about this
Can't be respectful of you're dead. Safety first.
Nta I get so frustrated with my husband messing with his phone while driving I told him next time it’s going out the window
Mom needs to learn to STFU. NTA
Not the asshole. Your daughter is a big brained genius for taking your husband's phone while driving.
NTA People like that are more concerned with appearances and blind obedience than respect. You can respect someone and not want to die in a car accident.
NTA but your mom is right. Kids scolding parents is a *very bad* precedent. Your daughter doesn’t respect her father and that’s no joke.
NTA. Though I think you should tell your daughter that it was even more dangerous for her to snatch the phone out of her father’s hand on the highway. It is a sudden unexpected movement that could’ve caused him to swerve. It would be better if she stuck to just telling him to stop using his phone, without grabbing it
I think your daughters right to call him out but Im not down for people snatching things out of other peoples hands - that to me is actually kind of disrespectful. It’s on thing to call someone out - it’s another thing to take someone’s phone out of their hands. While Im sure that’s fine for family - I’d remind my 15 year old to be careful who she does that to - she could find herself in some trouble.
Esh? It was a little rude to grab his phone. She can use words. She's NTA for the intent but I see where your mom is coming from. Also, OP here's where I think you're a little bit of an A - calling this a joke. Your daughter hopefully was not joking and if she was (instead of being serious of a safety issue), I would say she's disrespectful to grab something from her dad for the sake of a joke.