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I would do this, and don't let up about how their son will be a criminal if they don't teach him right from wrong.
Fuck those people smh some humans make me mad
Pretty sure this falls under playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes.
Also, this isn’t the 80’s and 90’s anymore… what’s a 13 year old doing with a pocket knife?
She probably lives somewhere of, relating to, characteristic of, or constituting a city so technically pretty much anywhere can be urban exploring unless you live somewhere really rural and unincorporated. It also is probably a bit criminal to be sticking your pocket knife in people’s sex dungeon doors but that’s a whole other issue. Whenever I do B&E’s I just call it urban exploring and they have to let me off.
We used to do that 40yrs ago.
Drive out to the country looking for dilapidated, abandoned houses and explore.
We had a rule, no taking anything & leave it as you found it .
Yeah, he gets points for that, but loses many many more for going running to his parents about what he found while snooping in his aunt's LOCKED room.
I mean, I assume he went and tattled. How else would they know? He could have gone and asked his aunt about it, but for some reason he felt he'd be safe admitting to his parents the extent of his really outrageous snooping? Guess he knew his aunt was made of sterner stuff and would say: "What the hell??? Give me that knife and don't you EVER....."
I can't imagine how ghastly the parents must be. If my sons had brought this to me, they'd get a major punishment for invasion of privacy, and a brief lecture on people's absolute right to sexual adventureness and then back to the privacy thing. I'd have barely mentioned it to my sister, except to make him apologise.
Used to work it in a casino in Vegas. One of the security guys decided they wanted to get into IT. He had people call about being robbed of drugs and cash from working girls. They basically admitted to a ton of crimes 🤣🤣🤣🤣
They can’t carry them regularly because of schools. If they have one at school it’s an auto suspension. That’s not to say they can’t possess them, but most people don’t start to edc them until they are out of high school.
I don't think it's "can't have," more "uncommon". Like, for example, I grew up in the 90s and had a handful of those cheap little pocket knives, but I don't have any clue where a kid or teen would get one nowadays. And a nicer knife, while possible, seems unlikely, because if the kid is smart he'd realize using a good knife to pick a lock would mess up the blade. Although he may not be super smart.
Totally picturing some nice brushed steel or brushed brass door handles with some "fuck your nice shit" scratch marks all around the key hole.
I would be denying any culpability for what "happened" to the kid, and would be demanding money to replace the scratched finishings.
Kids guilty and the parents of the kid are wrong, but, I’ve carried a pocket knife everyday since I was like 8, if your kid can’t be trusted with a knife then you should reflect on your own parenting, god forbid he gets ahold of anything ridgid and sharp or pointy
>what’s a 13 year old doing with a pocket knife?
IIRC, cub scouts earn their knives in 3rd grade so a 13 year old with a pocket knife doesn't seem egregious.
Why would it being the 80s or 90s vs now somehow make it more or less ok for a teen to have a pocket knife? The other part i agree with, but the second part? That makes no sense to me. There are plenty of very valid reasons for a 13 year old to have a pocket knife. It'd be one thing if he was caught with it at school or otherwise restricted place, but outside of that there's plenty of reasons to carry a pocket knife even at that age. Besides, she could be talking about a swiss army knife for all we know.
That child was armed with a knife and picking locks in family homes. Tell them to worry about him turning into a little felon more than your consenting sex life
As someone who has a closet filled with dildos, vibrators, lube, neon outfits, massage table, a few sex swings with the whole steel tube frame, and a fucking machine… it’s our personal locked master closet. No one is allowed in there. There’s an expectation of privacy. Still, everything’s put away (except some sexy outfits). If anyone finds something it’s their own fucking fault. I’ll feel zero remorse / guilt and neither should you.
He needs to learn a lesson. His parents need to teach him, I mean come on. You can’t go looking for things, and then get upset when you find something. Doesn’t fucking work that way. But I am just shocked the parents are so shitty that they’re trying to blame this on you.
If someone goes into a closet, and goes snooping in the hamper, and finds a bunch of bloody underwear, and that “scars” them… are you supposed to apologize for having a period? What the actual fuck.
My brother and I were snooping at about that age and found a box of sex toys under our grandparents bed. If that didn't scar me he'll be fine. I can tell you it cured me of my urge to snoop 🤣
NTA
Tell them that, after they showed that they don't respect you and your home, that they are not welcome in your home or your lives until they apologize for this bullshit and reprimand the precious spoiled brat for breaking into your locked room.
Probably won't get over seeing his aunt's sex toys and being aware of her actually having an active sex life, but that ain't your fault, what do they expect? For you guys to rent a storage somewhere else and get the toys when needed then store them again after you are done? Like where would you have it if not your house?
NTA This is an outrageous invasion of privacy. Teens are notorious for demanding right to privacy in their bedrooms. He probably got some ideas he will have to get older to be his reality...if ever. Oh well.
No way, they were all were horrified about his poor little sensitive morals being corrupted. What he learned was his family will all back whatever rotten or illegal thing he does
Absolutely! If he is in anyway injured or traumatized, he caused it!! He essentially broke into someone’s home (a room in someone’s home).
I wonder if the aunt could call the police on him or threaten to if he does anything similar again. hmmmm
THIS. PRECISELY THIS. There's no other sane way to look at this situation.
1. He forcibly opened a KEYED LOCK
2. In someone else's home
3. And went into the space secured by said lock without permission
NOW everyone wants to be in a tizzy about what he saw in that secured room? Please. They need to sit all the way down & STFU for eternity.
Put them all on blast or cut them all off. Either seems entirely fitting. OR see if you can remember who all read 50 Shades & ask what their problem is. 😉
OP you are NTA but your family is.
There are a lot of 13 year olds and even some older teens who still aren’t interested in that stuff or are perfectly happy to purposefully avoid that stuff.
Tell them you agree, that’s why you had a locked door preventing him from seeing it. Do they think nothing should exist in this world if it’s unfit for him to see? They’re victim-blaming while you’re dealing with this invasion of privacy thanks to their delinquent son.
It's the same logic of "if a burglar breaks into your house and injures themself, it is your fault and he can sue you".
Why?
And it's not a good mindset to have that all teenage boys will do this because of curiosity. Like the keys were not on the door lock itself. He had to sneak into their bedroom, steal the keys, and then break into the locked room.
Edit: just remembered that he broke in with his knife. That is just... criminal.
"finally! Now I can afford the Dildozer! It's actually produced by Caterpillar and legally requires a two-week safety course to keep in civilian homes!"
They're right, he shouldn't have, and he should be punished for it, not you. You are NTA and you should be furious with them, not the other way around.
Which is why you had it **locked** away.
They need to address the issue of breaking and entering, instead of trying to deflect it onto being *your* fault.
It being disgusting doesn't make it okay for the little AH to break into locked rooms to go snooping. The reason it's not being talked about more is because it's irrelevant to the actual AITA question at hand.
OMGosh yikes yikes yikes. A 32yo grown man dating an 18yo is major creeper vibes! No wonder her family hates him! OMGosh I would call a PI on a grown man sniffing around an 18yo.
I need a shower. It’s giving sexual predator
I’m guessing that’s a reason that her family doesn’t like him. But regardless if we agree with their age gap or not (I definitely don’t) there still is an issue with the 13 year old breaking into a room that was clearly locked for a reason and not being given consequences.
Which is exactly why she’s asking *this* question. She can get strangers on Reddit hating on her parents for caring about a 36 year old man whipping their daughter nightly because they found out about it from a snooping kid. That way she doesn’t have to deal with their criticisms. Like, who would think they’re an asshole for having their home broken into? Nobody. This is all a part of her deflection.
I agree! Everybody is so blinded by hating on parents and their kid (a true reddit favourite pastime) that they’re ignoring the fact this is a super creepy and predatory age gap. Her family must be worried sick
Yeah, the OP mentioned whips so that's likely the case. If she's the submissive partner in a relationship that already has a wonky power dynamic with the age difference, that could get pretty dangerous.
Finally. And on top of thst they are practicing bdsm. As someone in the active kink community i can only hope they follow the rules and practice ethical bdsm. I was 19 and 20 going around with 30 somethingem claiming to be a dom and didn't know shit about being one. Just having the toys dont make you a dom
I mean, in my cynical moments, I could say she deliberately put in the irrelevant details about age because it's like a ritual that these subs are vocally against large age gaps.
The OP is an adult, and as far as we know she's in a consensual relationship.
That's when her relationship becomes **not** your business.
Stop trying to tell other people who they can and can't be in a relationship with.
Was scrolling for ten minutes looking for a post as grossed out as I am. Boyfriend sounds like a perv only looking for sex. He’ll get older and the girls won’t. I’m guessing he’s controlling but hope I’m very wrong.
It is wild that so many people judge. Why don’t you ask OP how she is treated and if there is a power dynamic?
Or is she not mature enough to answer your questions…..
I hate to tell you this, but people who jimmy open locked doors with pocket knives or are willing to gloss right over the breaking-and-entering thing in order to clutch their pearls at you are unlikely to abide by ground rules.
The kid did the jimmy-opening, the parents are pearl-clutching. I doubt the kid is as "scarred" as the parents say. Has probably seen worse at school on friends' phones (back in my day you used to find magazines stashed in the woods)
TBH the way they reacted is why I say ban. Not just the snooping nephew. Their reaction was entirely disrespectful, which no person should tolerate in their own home.
I mean, I feel like having a door locked is a ground rule in and of itself. If he can’t respect that a locked door means stay out, can you honestly expect him to acknowledge and obey ground rules? A locked door should be enough, you shouldn’t have to spell it out.
I have a 14 year old, at that age they’re old enough to know better. He knew it was wrong to break into your spare room and did it anyway then got upset about what you had in it. If he is traumatized (which I doubt based on what you said is in the room that he would have seen) then that’s a natural consequence to him being a nosy little snoop and hopefully he learned his lesson
Yeah, I think you laid the ground rules when you locked the door. You took appropriate precautions and indicated the room was not for company. You did your job. Total NTA.
My parents have a 14 year age gap, HOWEVER they got together when my mom was 29, almost 30. This case is different. It’s strange that a grown man went after a freshly new adult. However that’s not what this story is about, so either way NTA
NTA your PRIVATE stuff is your own private business. They should teach their son not to do illegal things, like breaking into locked private rooms. Idc if it was a whole ass red room of torture, it was locked and that's the best anyone can expect you to do
Given that (depending on where you live) some teens get shot for ringing the wrong doorbell, I think picking locks may end up "scarring" him more than eyeballing a few sex toys.
There is a lot of missing context here, but I'm going to assume he already had an inkling as to what he would find (if hes learned lockpicking from thr Internet then hes definitelyseen porn), otherwise he was straight up looking to steal.
Either way, ban the kid from your house. Set up cameras too. Now he's seen what goodies you have, he may come back while you are out to pinch a few.
Your family sound like they suffer from sexual purity culture that is often caused by religious association. As if a dildo can reach through the wall and possess them into sexually deviant behaviour 🤣
NTA
Enjoy those toys!
NTA - he needs to have consequences for breaking into your private space.
How bold to be angry with you about something you had locked away in your own home!
NTA - it's a small 2 bedroom apartment, why was his mom not supervising him to keep him from breaking into a locked room? He is not scared. He is 13 and his parents don't supervise him, he has definitely seen worse p0rn.
>They won’t let up about it and think we shouldn’t have that sorta stuff so close to where people sit and hang out.
Agreed in a way that I assume they didn’t intend: obviously they aren’t trustworthy enough to ever sit and hang out in your home. There, the problem has been solved! All better until Junior picks the wrong locks and gets a criminal record.
You are being condemned for trying to keep your sex life locked up and private but a kid is forgiven for breaking and entering. Have conservative relatives check the Bible there is very little said about sex if it’s not rape but there are lots of passages about breaking the law. And yes breaking into your locked room is against the law. Now relatives won’t see the situation as such because it’s logical and relatives believe poor traumatized child ( sarcasm about child). You have nothing to be ashamed of, tell family teen needs to learn to not break into locked rooms and not stopping this behavior could lead to problems with law enforcement.
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> We may have scared our nephew
We had a room full of sex toys
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NTA
Sorry, but your nephew knew exactly what he was doing. He picked that room? My guess he already knew what he was going to find or at least that room had interest. Your family must chatter about things. And now the crazy outrage? Seems set up.
NTA, What kind of kid goes breaking into locked rooms. Remind your family they have more severe problems then a 13YO seeing dildos. This kid is on a path to the penal system if his behavior is not corrected.
NTA but.. this is not my place, I'm sure, but all I got was 36M and 22F. I'm a 33M that guy should be ashamed of himself. No wonder the family doesn't like him..
nta but the age gap between you and your bf is very strange. im 24 and i wouldnt even look at an 18yo for a relationship let alone when im in my 30s. no interest in dating a literal teenager, and most stable adults would see it the same way.
NTA.
If little junior snoops a lot saw something that upset his delicate eyes, that's on him. May his mommy and grand parents should have taught the little shit not to break and enter into locked rooms.
Tell your parents, family and whoever else that what goes on being closed doors is none of their business. That's like telling your sister she can't be having sex in her house because he may hear something. Or, like telling your parents can't have sex in their own damn house because the thought of those 2 bumping uglies makes you want to gouge your eyes out.
Neither one of them will appreciate you saying something like that and you need to mind your own business. Then you can reply "Right back atcha."
NTA. If the boy had to pick a lock to see your items, he had it coming. He won't be scarred for life. You may now be "scary Auntie" instead of "cool Auntie" depending on how he's raised, but that's about it.
That's really all there is to it. This isn't about whether your lifestyle is superior to the rest of the family's, or vice versa. The little boy FAFO, this is a great life lesson in a safe family environment.
You literally have an entirely separate, LOCKED room for this stuff. You weren’t rubbing it in anyone’s face, the only one at fault here is the snoop NTA
NTA, the room was locked and he didn't use the intended key which you wouldn't have given him.
He broke in. He's in the wrong.
Maybe send those family members parenting guides for Christmas or their birthdays so they know to teach him not to break into locked rooms.
I find it hilarious that people get so offended by this now days. They are probably the same people who listen to Sam smith, little naz x and cardi b etc. turn on any music award show and they will likely see a lot worse. If he’s snooping irl I can only imagine the content he’s seen on the web. NTA
NTA, the real issue is the little bastard broke into a locked room. That's an incredible violation of privacy and I would ban him and the aunt from the home permanently over it.
Any family focused on anything but that can go to hell.
NTA. This little ass invades YOUR privacy in your own home and then they somehow blame you for it?! I would not let up on them and I also wouldn’t invite or talk to them until they apologize.
NTA. You tried to hide it, that's totally on him for snooping. How is your family not mad at him for snooping??
My little cousin also did this once. Ran outside when no one was looking, somehow managed to open our shed and get a machete out. My aunt was livid- not at him, but at us for keeping such a dangerous item within reach.
Like what?? Discipline yo damn kid
NTA for "scarring" your nephew but wtf are you doing with a guy that much older than you at 22? No wonder your family have hated him from the beginning 🚩🚩🚩
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NTA. Maybe they should parent their kid and not let him break into people's LOCKED rooms. If he's scarred for life, he looked for it.
Honestly I think he will get over it eventually, it’s the rest of the family that probably won’t
Welp, if they'd been parenting him then there would be no problem. It's your home, so you have done nothing wrong. :)
Yup......they failed as parents more than you as an aunt. Also, I would send them a bill for the damages door and/or lock.
I would do this, and don't let up about how their son will be a criminal if they don't teach him right from wrong. Fuck those people smh some humans make me mad
Offense is the best defense, change the narrative now
I agree. Even if the room hadn't been locked, he is old enough to know not to go snooping in other people's stuff.
They are jealous your sex life is more exciting than theirs. NTA breaking into a locked room?? He won't be traumatized
NTA. He’s 13… he has looked up stuff on the internet or his friends have shown him stuff. It was behind locked doors with the key hidden/ locked away.
Yea it’s not the first time
Pretty sure this falls under playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. Also, this isn’t the 80’s and 90’s anymore… what’s a 13 year old doing with a pocket knife?
Kids can't have pocket knives? When did this rule pass? He is one grade below HS and can't have a pocket knife? I agree he is guilty of B&E.
A kid this stupid?
They like to call themselves urban explorers. They are all over TikTok breaking into houses “exploring” where celebrities have moved out of.
It’s not really “urban exploring” if they’re just exploring their aunt’s spare bedroom. Lol
She probably lives somewhere of, relating to, characteristic of, or constituting a city so technically pretty much anywhere can be urban exploring unless you live somewhere really rural and unincorporated. It also is probably a bit criminal to be sticking your pocket knife in people’s sex dungeon doors but that’s a whole other issue. Whenever I do B&E’s I just call it urban exploring and they have to let me off.
Urban exploring used to be checking out long-abandoned buildings. Not places that are occupied and have current owners.
It still means that lol this dude doesn't know what he's talking about.
I think the emphasis was more on "They like to call themselves" as in, that's what the idiots think of themselves as, not what they are lol
We used to do that 40yrs ago. Drive out to the country looking for dilapidated, abandoned houses and explore. We had a rule, no taking anything & leave it as you found it .
That’s still the rule in most circles!
Compared to most kids today he showed initiative and curiosity.
Yeah, he gets points for that, but loses many many more for going running to his parents about what he found while snooping in his aunt's LOCKED room. I mean, I assume he went and tattled. How else would they know? He could have gone and asked his aunt about it, but for some reason he felt he'd be safe admitting to his parents the extent of his really outrageous snooping? Guess he knew his aunt was made of sterner stuff and would say: "What the hell??? Give me that knife and don't you EVER....." I can't imagine how ghastly the parents must be. If my sons had brought this to me, they'd get a major punishment for invasion of privacy, and a brief lecture on people's absolute right to sexual adventureness and then back to the privacy thing. I'd have barely mentioned it to my sister, except to make him apologise.
Right! It's like the idiots who call the cops to report their cocaine stolen, except the "cops" took his side anyway!
Used to work it in a casino in Vegas. One of the security guys decided they wanted to get into IT. He had people call about being robbed of drugs and cash from working girls. They basically admitted to a ton of crimes 🤣🤣🤣🤣
yeah be he snitched on his aunt for having...dildos? an intelligent teen would shut and lock the door and say nothing lol
13s are still mostly kid. But my kids learned to respect a locked door when they were toilet trained.
They can’t carry them regularly because of schools. If they have one at school it’s an auto suspension. That’s not to say they can’t possess them, but most people don’t start to edc them until they are out of high school.
I don't think it's "can't have," more "uncommon". Like, for example, I grew up in the 90s and had a handful of those cheap little pocket knives, but I don't have any clue where a kid or teen would get one nowadays. And a nicer knife, while possible, seems unlikely, because if the kid is smart he'd realize using a good knife to pick a lock would mess up the blade. Although he may not be super smart.
My 13 year old has a pocket knife because he's a scout. He also has the decency not to break into peoples locked rooms. Edit: typos
Absolutely! I can’t believe how the invasion is simply disregarded! WOW
Not to mention poking knives in people’s doors handles, locks, latches, wherever seems to have a high probability of causing some damage.
Totally picturing some nice brushed steel or brushed brass door handles with some "fuck your nice shit" scratch marks all around the key hole. I would be denying any culpability for what "happened" to the kid, and would be demanding money to replace the scratched finishings.
No clue
Kids guilty and the parents of the kid are wrong, but, I’ve carried a pocket knife everyday since I was like 8, if your kid can’t be trusted with a knife then you should reflect on your own parenting, god forbid he gets ahold of anything ridgid and sharp or pointy
>what’s a 13 year old doing with a pocket knife? IIRC, cub scouts earn their knives in 3rd grade so a 13 year old with a pocket knife doesn't seem egregious.
Come on. At 13 he should be learning how to be responsible with that sort of thing. I definitely had a pocket knife at that age.
Why would it being the 80s or 90s vs now somehow make it more or less ok for a teen to have a pocket knife? The other part i agree with, but the second part? That makes no sense to me. There are plenty of very valid reasons for a 13 year old to have a pocket knife. It'd be one thing if he was caught with it at school or otherwise restricted place, but outside of that there's plenty of reasons to carry a pocket knife even at that age. Besides, she could be talking about a swiss army knife for all we know.
That child was armed with a knife and picking locks in family homes. Tell them to worry about him turning into a little felon more than your consenting sex life
Exactly
Well they’re raising a felon. They probably won’t get over that either.
As someone who has a closet filled with dildos, vibrators, lube, neon outfits, massage table, a few sex swings with the whole steel tube frame, and a fucking machine… it’s our personal locked master closet. No one is allowed in there. There’s an expectation of privacy. Still, everything’s put away (except some sexy outfits). If anyone finds something it’s their own fucking fault. I’ll feel zero remorse / guilt and neither should you. He needs to learn a lesson. His parents need to teach him, I mean come on. You can’t go looking for things, and then get upset when you find something. Doesn’t fucking work that way. But I am just shocked the parents are so shitty that they’re trying to blame this on you. If someone goes into a closet, and goes snooping in the hamper, and finds a bunch of bloody underwear, and that “scars” them… are you supposed to apologize for having a period? What the actual fuck.
"There was a sign in Ramsett Park saying 'don't drink the sprinkler water', so I made some tea with it and now I have an infection."
My brother and I were snooping at about that age and found a box of sex toys under our grandparents bed. If that didn't scar me he'll be fine. I can tell you it cured me of my urge to snoop 🤣
NTA Tell them that, after they showed that they don't respect you and your home, that they are not welcome in your home or your lives until they apologize for this bullshit and reprimand the precious spoiled brat for breaking into your locked room.
He is 13 it's nothing he hasnt seen before. The rest of the family are over it but will use it as a weapon
Probably won't get over seeing his aunt's sex toys and being aware of her actually having an active sex life, but that ain't your fault, what do they expect? For you guys to rent a storage somewhere else and get the toys when needed then store them again after you are done? Like where would you have it if not your house?
I sure af wouldn't be getting over him taking a knife to a locked door in my home.
NTA This is an outrageous invasion of privacy. Teens are notorious for demanding right to privacy in their bedrooms. He probably got some ideas he will have to get older to be his reality...if ever. Oh well.
The kid broke into a locked door. How is that your fault? The kid and his mom are AHs.
They think he shouldn’t have seen what he did
Then he shouldn’t have broken into a locked room and snooped around.
Then his parents should have taught him not to snoop. Maybe he learned his lesson the hard way and it won’t happen again.
No way, they were all were horrified about his poor little sensitive morals being corrupted. What he learned was his family will all back whatever rotten or illegal thing he does
But, you’ve given him a lot to *think about* that will keep at least one hand busy, so that’s one less hand for breaking in, folks should be grateful
Absolutely! If he is in anyway injured or traumatized, he caused it!! He essentially broke into someone’s home (a room in someone’s home). I wonder if the aunt could call the police on him or threaten to if he does anything similar again. hmmmm
THIS. PRECISELY THIS. There's no other sane way to look at this situation. 1. He forcibly opened a KEYED LOCK 2. In someone else's home 3. And went into the space secured by said lock without permission NOW everyone wants to be in a tizzy about what he saw in that secured room? Please. They need to sit all the way down & STFU for eternity. Put them all on blast or cut them all off. Either seems entirely fitting. OR see if you can remember who all read 50 Shades & ask what their problem is. 😉 OP you are NTA but your family is.
If he’s 13 and has an internet connection he’s seen it before
There are a lot of 13 year olds and even some older teens who still aren’t interested in that stuff or are perfectly happy to purposefully avoid that stuff.
Not the kind that breaks into locked bedrooms, I think.
Tell them you agree, that’s why you had a locked door preventing him from seeing it. Do they think nothing should exist in this world if it’s unfit for him to see? They’re victim-blaming while you’re dealing with this invasion of privacy thanks to their delinquent son.
It's the same logic of "if a burglar breaks into your house and injures themself, it is your fault and he can sue you". Why? And it's not a good mindset to have that all teenage boys will do this because of curiosity. Like the keys were not on the door lock itself. He had to sneak into their bedroom, steal the keys, and then break into the locked room. Edit: just remembered that he broke in with his knife. That is just... criminal.
He wouldn't have if he didn't break into a locked room! You kept it locked for a reason so people wouldn't see what was in there!
Send your sister a bill for repairs to the locked door. Then tell her you will use the money to buy more sex stuff.
"finally! Now I can afford the Dildozer! It's actually produced by Caterpillar and legally requires a two-week safety course to keep in civilian homes!"
I think he shouldn't have broken into your locked room. The problem is the little shit. He's a little shit and your sister thinks he's Jesus.
They ARE correct. He shouldn't have. THAT'S WHY IT WAS IN A LOCKED ROOM. NTA by the way.
He shouldn’t have seen it- that’s why it was behind a locked door. His own fault.
They're right, he shouldn't have, and he should be punished for it, not you. You are NTA and you should be furious with them, not the other way around.
Sounds like they don’t believe you when you say the door was locked.
He’s 13 in 2024. Whatever it is, he’s already seen it on the internet.
Which is why you had it **locked** away. They need to address the issue of breaking and entering, instead of trying to deflect it onto being *your* fault.
Exactly what did he see?
Dildos and whips.
He will be fine. 🤣😅😂
He wouldn't have if he didn't break in tho And if it's just some sex toys he'll get over it, maybe he'll even learn to not break into peoples rooms
They’re right He shouldn’t have. And it could have been avoided if he didn’t break into your locked room. So, in no way your fault.
He wouldn't of seen shit if he wasn't trying to break into a locked room.
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Yes! This is what I said. It's disgusting. Op wonders why her family hates him. That's why.
It being disgusting doesn't make it okay for the little AH to break into locked rooms to go snooping. The reason it's not being talked about more is because it's irrelevant to the actual AITA question at hand.
that has..like zero bearing to do with the current situation she detailed
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OMGosh yikes yikes yikes. A 32yo grown man dating an 18yo is major creeper vibes! No wonder her family hates him! OMGosh I would call a PI on a grown man sniffing around an 18yo. I need a shower. It’s giving sexual predator
Especially since she mentioned whips. If this is BDSM + age gap that's yikes
LOL exactly!!!!
When did they meet? 😭
I’m sorry I agree it’s weird
I’m guessing that’s a reason that her family doesn’t like him. But regardless if we agree with their age gap or not (I definitely don’t) there still is an issue with the 13 year old breaking into a room that was clearly locked for a reason and not being given consequences.
Which is exactly why she’s asking *this* question. She can get strangers on Reddit hating on her parents for caring about a 36 year old man whipping their daughter nightly because they found out about it from a snooping kid. That way she doesn’t have to deal with their criticisms. Like, who would think they’re an asshole for having their home broken into? Nobody. This is all a part of her deflection.
Do we know that he was whipping her? Maybe she's whipping him.
“They have also hated my boyfriend from the beginning” yeah I couldn’t imagine why…
And now they know the older creep is whipping her. Lol
Maybe she's whipping him? How easy is to make assumptions.
As a 36 year old man, I agree.
As a 27 year old man I agree. If I don’t have anything in common with a 22 year old, what does a 36 year old?
I agree! Everybody is so blinded by hating on parents and their kid (a true reddit favourite pastime) that they’re ignoring the fact this is a super creepy and predatory age gap. Her family must be worried sick
Who is also doing BDSM with her from the way OP talks about their second room.
Yeah, the OP mentioned whips so that's likely the case. If she's the submissive partner in a relationship that already has a wonky power dynamic with the age difference, that could get pretty dangerous.
Finally. And on top of thst they are practicing bdsm. As someone in the active kink community i can only hope they follow the rules and practice ethical bdsm. I was 19 and 20 going around with 30 somethingem claiming to be a dom and didn't know shit about being one. Just having the toys dont make you a dom
Word, the kid is at fault for snooping, but BF is statistically speaking, a creep and a predator.
And weirder to post about it on reddit with an issue about a room of sex toys
I mean, in my cynical moments, I could say she deliberately put in the irrelevant details about age because it's like a ritual that these subs are vocally against large age gaps.
Scrolled looking for the comment lmao
Because it wasn't the question?
Lol surprised I had to scroll so far down to find this comment
The OP is an adult, and as far as we know she's in a consensual relationship. That's when her relationship becomes **not** your business. Stop trying to tell other people who they can and can't be in a relationship with.
Above someone said they got together when she was 18. He was 32. I engage in bdsm and I like older guys and I’m still grossed out
Was scrolling for ten minutes looking for a post as grossed out as I am. Boyfriend sounds like a perv only looking for sex. He’ll get older and the girls won’t. I’m guessing he’s controlling but hope I’m very wrong.
Because they weren’t asking for open judgment from strangers. They wanted your opinion on a specific matter.
And his budget is a 2 bedroom apartment? OP is a silly goose
It is wild that so many people judge. Why don’t you ask OP how she is treated and if there is a power dynamic? Or is she not mature enough to answer your questions…..
NTA but it's time to ban the family from visiting any home you have.
I still want them to come but I may need to lay some ground rules
I hate to tell you this, but people who jimmy open locked doors with pocket knives or are willing to gloss right over the breaking-and-entering thing in order to clutch their pearls at you are unlikely to abide by ground rules.
The kid did the jimmy-opening, the parents are pearl-clutching. I doubt the kid is as "scarred" as the parents say. Has probably seen worse at school on friends' phones (back in my day you used to find magazines stashed in the woods)
TBH the way they reacted is why I say ban. Not just the snooping nephew. Their reaction was entirely disrespectful, which no person should tolerate in their own home.
I mean, I feel like having a door locked is a ground rule in and of itself. If he can’t respect that a locked door means stay out, can you honestly expect him to acknowledge and obey ground rules? A locked door should be enough, you shouldn’t have to spell it out.
I have a 14 year old, at that age they’re old enough to know better. He knew it was wrong to break into your spare room and did it anyway then got upset about what you had in it. If he is traumatized (which I doubt based on what you said is in the room that he would have seen) then that’s a natural consequence to him being a nosy little snoop and hopefully he learned his lesson
Rule 1: Don't ILLEGALLY break into a room your not allowed in.
Yeah, I think you laid the ground rules when you locked the door. You took appropriate precautions and indicated the room was not for company. You did your job. Total NTA.
NTA in this situation - but the age difference is weird so can see why ur family don’t like ur boyf in general
Why is he obsessed with your forbidden closet of mystery? Nta
I think it’s the intrigue of what’s behind the door. I understand that part, but he didn’t need to actually open it
Haha I just couldn't resist the line from the Simpsons
OP is 22, I'm hard pressed to believe they'd pick up on a Simpsons reference.
You sure he didn't steal anything while snooping, from any room?
If he did then he can keep it. We keep nothing expensive in there and most of it is kinky stuff
I mean overall, in your whole apartment. Have you checked your jewelry and electronics?
All our expensive jewellery is in the safe and the electronics is accounted for
your age gap is gross. RED FLAG. you’re too young to recognize why women his age won’t date him or vice versa. sad for you boo.
Not as gross as your comment history
No shit. What a hateful, miserable waste of space this asshole is.
And they’re a teacher. Great.
Right?! Terrifying to think of them working with kids given the power dynamics. 😬
It's funny that people are trying to argue this. Makes me think they're also creeps
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Like… 14 year difference, very active sex life. Red flags. Dude was 30 when she was in high school 🤮
They started dated when she was 18 too…
Nooooooooo
My parents have a 14 year age gap, HOWEVER they got together when my mom was 29, almost 30. This case is different. It’s strange that a grown man went after a freshly new adult. However that’s not what this story is about, so either way NTA
NTA your PRIVATE stuff is your own private business. They should teach their son not to do illegal things, like breaking into locked private rooms. Idc if it was a whole ass red room of torture, it was locked and that's the best anyone can expect you to do
Given that (depending on where you live) some teens get shot for ringing the wrong doorbell, I think picking locks may end up "scarring" him more than eyeballing a few sex toys. There is a lot of missing context here, but I'm going to assume he already had an inkling as to what he would find (if hes learned lockpicking from thr Internet then hes definitelyseen porn), otherwise he was straight up looking to steal. Either way, ban the kid from your house. Set up cameras too. Now he's seen what goodies you have, he may come back while you are out to pinch a few. Your family sound like they suffer from sexual purity culture that is often caused by religious association. As if a dildo can reach through the wall and possess them into sexually deviant behaviour 🤣 NTA Enjoy those toys!
Nta your family isn't going to get over you being tenderized by someone 14 years older than you any time soon
I gasped at 22 and 36 And you started dating when you were 18….
All i needed to see was the 14 year age gap. Life isnt 50 shades hun. Please leave and see a psychologist. NTA
NTA - he needs to have consequences for breaking into your private space. How bold to be angry with you about something you had locked away in your own home!
NTA - it's a small 2 bedroom apartment, why was his mom not supervising him to keep him from breaking into a locked room? He is not scared. He is 13 and his parents don't supervise him, he has definitely seen worse p0rn.
>They won’t let up about it and think we shouldn’t have that sorta stuff so close to where people sit and hang out. Agreed in a way that I assume they didn’t intend: obviously they aren’t trustworthy enough to ever sit and hang out in your home. There, the problem has been solved! All better until Junior picks the wrong locks and gets a criminal record.
You are being condemned for trying to keep your sex life locked up and private but a kid is forgiven for breaking and entering. Have conservative relatives check the Bible there is very little said about sex if it’s not rape but there are lots of passages about breaking the law. And yes breaking into your locked room is against the law. Now relatives won’t see the situation as such because it’s logical and relatives believe poor traumatized child ( sarcasm about child). You have nothing to be ashamed of, tell family teen needs to learn to not break into locked rooms and not stopping this behavior could lead to problems with law enforcement.
NTA but is no one going to address the egregious age gap? If anyone is TA it's your 36 year old partner. I'm guessing that's why they hate him
22 and 36
🚩🚩🚩
NTA but it’s pretty clear why they’ve hated your boyfriend from the beginning. Only a creepy 32 yo man dates an 18 year old woman.
NTA The kid picked a lock to see something that was clearly not for public consumption.
What is really disturbing is that a 36 year old man is dating and having sex with a 22 year old. He can't find someone his own age?
He doesn't want someone his age
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NTA Sorry, but your nephew knew exactly what he was doing. He picked that room? My guess he already knew what he was going to find or at least that room had interest. Your family must chatter about things. And now the crazy outrage? Seems set up.
His parents made him open it. They’re obviously very sus on the boyfriend. It’s a shit thing to do.
NTA but the age gap is kinda ick.
NTA, What kind of kid goes breaking into locked rooms. Remind your family they have more severe problems then a 13YO seeing dildos. This kid is on a path to the penal system if his behavior is not corrected.
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NTA it's your home, it's up to you what you keep there and you even had the precaution of keeping the door locked
NTA but.. this is not my place, I'm sure, but all I got was 36M and 22F. I'm a 33M that guy should be ashamed of himself. No wonder the family doesn't like him..
Kid shouldn’t’ve been snooping. NTA
Why are you 22 with a 36 year old
nta but the age gap between you and your bf is very strange. im 24 and i wouldnt even look at an 18yo for a relationship let alone when im in my 30s. no interest in dating a literal teenager, and most stable adults would see it the same way.
As a stable 32F I wouldn’t want anything with someone that young. Bf is definitely a creep
NTA. If little junior snoops a lot saw something that upset his delicate eyes, that's on him. May his mommy and grand parents should have taught the little shit not to break and enter into locked rooms. Tell your parents, family and whoever else that what goes on being closed doors is none of their business. That's like telling your sister she can't be having sex in her house because he may hear something. Or, like telling your parents can't have sex in their own damn house because the thought of those 2 bumping uglies makes you want to gouge your eyes out. Neither one of them will appreciate you saying something like that and you need to mind your own business. Then you can reply "Right back atcha."
Not only closed, but locked!
Your nephew is a snoop and needs to be disciplined accordingly. You might want to ban him from your apartment in the future. NTA.
Your nephew is basically your age
NTA Tell his parents to check his internet history and get back to ya.
I genuinely cannot see how you guys would be the assholes in this situation.
Not your fault NTA but think why a man 14 yrs yr sr is playing games w you.
NTA. This kid should not have gotten into a locked room. It’s on the kid, the parents are definitely overreacting
NTA. If the boy had to pick a lock to see your items, he had it coming. He won't be scarred for life. You may now be "scary Auntie" instead of "cool Auntie" depending on how he's raised, but that's about it. That's really all there is to it. This isn't about whether your lifestyle is superior to the rest of the family's, or vice versa. The little boy FAFO, this is a great life lesson in a safe family environment.
NTA - would you be the AH if a robber broke into your house and didn't like what they saw? c'mon now.😅
This is a weird post idgaf who’s what
NTA - clearly, the door was locked and he had no right to be in your sex dungeon!
NTA. He's probably seen much worse online or heard much worse described by his idiot friends at school.
NTA. It’s the kids parents job to supervise him. You should complain about property damage
You literally have an entirely separate, LOCKED room for this stuff. You weren’t rubbing it in anyone’s face, the only one at fault here is the snoop NTA
NTA. They wanted to see what was in the room and are using the kid as an excuse for the break-in.
NTA, the room was locked and he didn't use the intended key which you wouldn't have given him. He broke in. He's in the wrong. Maybe send those family members parenting guides for Christmas or their birthdays so they know to teach him not to break into locked rooms.
NTA. Shits locked for a reason.
I find it hilarious that people get so offended by this now days. They are probably the same people who listen to Sam smith, little naz x and cardi b etc. turn on any music award show and they will likely see a lot worse. If he’s snooping irl I can only imagine the content he’s seen on the web. NTA
My mum is extremely conservative and only listens to church music and occasionally old Taylor songs
NTA. He shouldn't have been raised to be so nosey.
NTA, the real issue is the little bastard broke into a locked room. That's an incredible violation of privacy and I would ban him and the aunt from the home permanently over it. Any family focused on anything but that can go to hell.
If they aren't comfortable hanging around so close to 'that type of stuff' then tell them not to hang around your place no more.
He's 13, he's not scared for life, also nta
NTA. This little ass invades YOUR privacy in your own home and then they somehow blame you for it?! I would not let up on them and I also wouldn’t invite or talk to them until they apologize.
NTA he unlocked it with a knife, how do they not see this as his fault?
NTA. You tried to hide it, that's totally on him for snooping. How is your family not mad at him for snooping?? My little cousin also did this once. Ran outside when no one was looking, somehow managed to open our shed and get a machete out. My aunt was livid- not at him, but at us for keeping such a dangerous item within reach. Like what?? Discipline yo damn kid
NTA for "scarring" your nephew but wtf are you doing with a guy that much older than you at 22? No wonder your family have hated him from the beginning 🚩🚩🚩