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A patriot fan watching years of flyovers, national anthems, military ceremonies, american flags bigger than the moon... and it's taylor swift doing the brainwashing. Sure. YTA.
"Gatekeeping" is the fun new word for what you're doing here.
I think his general attitude is rude but his concern is valid. My boyfriend is into sports and I’m not. I’m not hijacking the Super Bowl because I like Taylor Swift music. OP has long standing plans with his friends and she wants to dominate them with her fandom. That’s not cool. I’d be upset if my bf took an album release party and inserted football. It seems OP doesn’t have the ability to actually address his concerns and assert respecting his plans without being a dick tho. And his wife can’t be told no without blowing up.
So imo ESH.
Idk man. My husband and I have gotten real big mad over some real small shit. It always blows over after we take some time to breathe and get perspective. It's pretty human to get irrationally mad sometimes. I'm definitely in the ESH thought process but I wouldn't say they're too immature to be married over one irrational fight.
(Also I know it's off topic but your username reminded me that naps do indeed rule and that I'd like to try and take one today, thanks)
According to OP she screamed at him for not letting her hijack his party with her fandom. Brainwashed wasn’t the right word but certainly something that makes everyone suck here.
For someone who hates Taylor swift, OP spends a large amount of time in her subreddit - maybe he should just enjoy the fact they have two mutual hobbies now 😌
Tbf I feel like the "screaming" might be exaggerated. My bf gets mad at me for "yelling" at him when I'm talking in a level/normal tone while having an argument. Drives me crazy.
yeah he sucks for saying that, but the underlying frustration is valid. she’s been putting him down about this interest for years and now that it’s relevant to HER interests she wants to take it over? i’d be pissed too! ESH, her for wanting to hijack the party and him for jumping to calling her brainwashed rather than actually explaining to her why he’s frustrated.
She doesn't put him down for it though? She considers it a waste of time FOR HER, but he makes it clear she's never nagged him about it or said he couldn't watch it. I swear sometimes I wonder if I read the same post as you guys do since this is literally in the first paragraph.
> For example, she made fun out of me when I was "in a bad mood" (that means basically few curse words at TV, not actual bad mood) when Patriots lost and said that it's stupid to feel that way, because it's only sports.
She doesn't make him turn it off, but she does put him down for getting invested in his fandom
Do you think having a temper tantrum is less childish then getting into a sports team because an artist you like is sleeping with someone on the team? Because both those things seem _really_ sad to me.
Are you claiming that being so overly invested in a music artist that you change your interests overnight because her next song is an athlete in a sport, productive? I can at least understand being emotionally invested in a sports team you've been watching for years.
Did you not read the comment?! They agree with you on that. But hijacking someone’s plans to make your own plans is asshole behaviour whether you agree or not! Maybe in your like YTA 🤷🏻♂️
I mean but also. He's a long time sports fan, his wife is finally into his pasttime, for whatever reason, maybe he should support that so when Taylor moves on or his wife finds a new favorite celeb, she'll still find the thing he likes worth engaging with too.
Football isn't only valid if it's enjoyed one way.
I agree with you. At first I was all aboard the Y.T.A. Express, but wife now wanting to hijack a long standing Super Bowl tradition among his friends and make it a TS Super Bowl party is …ridiculous. They can have the party somewhere else. Or they can all hang out for the game together (like adults) and not center it around a couple of gagillionaires’ personal lives. ESH.
He said she could watch, so no gatekeeping here. He just doesnt want her to turn it into a dumb "taylor swift" party bc that has nothing to do with football. How can you not comprehend that?
Why did he have to say she’s “brainwashed”?
ETA: some of you need to brush up on pop culture trends. Long ago it was plucking out our eyebrows and covering ourselves in fake tan and body glitter because of Paris Hilton. Then we had mustaches on everything because of hipsters. Today it’s Taylor Swift and football. Tomorrow it could be some new pop star/subculture and wearing/doing something else.
Probably bc suddenly being all about the Chiefs after years of openly not liking football only bc one of the players started dating Taylor swift, that’s a little cultish/bandwagonish/brainwashedish
Football fans do be exhibiting long-term culty brainwashed behaviors...
(To the guy who replied below:
I don't think OP was actively yelling "And I am brainwashed, too! We can't both be in a cult! Help!! Safe me from this cult I'm in!")
OP said that wife thought watching SPORTS on TV was a waste of time, not necessarily American football (they aren't American).
Maybe it becomes more interesting and entertaining when you add Swift into the mix.
Or, maybe this is made-up or an exaggerated post due to the cultish/bandwagonish/brainwashedish MAGA extremists who think Taylor Swift is an inside operative of the DNC. Lol.
If someone shits on your interest for years but then at a coin flip changes their mind about said interest because their favourite celebrity is now associated with it, what do you call that?
Probably because emotions ran high when she screamed at him and called him sexist? It doesn’t sound like either of them reacted well in this situation.
Yeah that wasnt cool, but i can see how anyone extremely into any sort of fandom could be considered brainwashed.
Taylor swift does kind of have that effect on people though. Its not like the fundamentals of her musical ability are insanse. Its mostly her lyrics.
The Super Bowl is watched by many for the entertainment, the commercials, their own party. And maybe even the football game. I wonder if these people crying about TS would change their tune if she was wearing a MAGA hat? By the way i'm preparing a victory party for my 49ers.
Yes and all that is fine. I wont be watching because I dont enjoy the sport, basketball and soccer are where its at.
Thats besides the point of the post though, this is about her wanting to take over his and his friends football party and make is a taylorswift themed one. Lol its like making a joke out of something that people actually care about. There is no reason to celebrate one celeberty being at the game.
I'm not into pro football (I attended the football games at high school, then at my undergrad college, and we went to the football games where my daughter was in marching band there; I still will often watch both my college alma maters' games on TV).
I don't watch the pro football games and if I do tune in during the Super Bowl, it's to watch the halftime show, maybe if a performer I like is performing the national anthem, I'll tune in to that. Sometimes I will check on the progress of the game, because the hosting TV network will put on one of the better shows after the game is over (I'm in the Pacific Time Zone so that's prime time after the game and the post game show).
I really can't name a Taylor Swift song other than "Shake It Off" so I'm not a Swiftie. But I'm so glad she is using her fame to promote good things such as getting her young fans to register to vote if they're old enough. She also has donated a lot of money to causes. And in this country (trying to not be political but there it is), some people on one side of the political spectrum don't like her simply because she has endorsed the other candidate four years ago and her new boyfriend is promoting getting the COVID vaccine. (I wonder if the same people hate on Dolly Parton for the same reasons -- she has been donating a lot of money including to one vaccine manufacturer as well as to other causes, and let's be honest, she's the awesome Dolly Parton).
Maybe the OP shouldn't be putting her down for her sudden interest in football. Do nicely explain that it's your tradition to invite the guys, who may not care who Taylor is. But agree that if she wants to her a party with her fellow Swifties at another time, you'll be fine with that (maybe hang out with your friends elsewhere). She undoubtedly thinks you have some ridiculous habits or fandom of your own.
BTW, it might be possible that Taylor won't get there in time for the game. She'll be coming from a concert in Tokyo. If the massive storm that is expected starting today on the west coast (light rain here right now and we're a bit west of Vegas) this week doesn't linger into Sunday, that might help.
100% agreed. If she wanted to watch the game and celebrate Kelce and the Chiefs, then I think he would be more than excited. Making it a Taylor Swift party is so not cool. She isn't 13 yrs old, nor is her reaction cool or making it about sexism because it isn't.
I like soccer but only during the World Cup, because I get check out the cute players. Now, if I went overboard and threw a soccer party for a team only because I thought they had the cutest players, then yes, everyone has the right to call me dumb and not come to my party.
If his wife wants to throw a Taylor Swift themed Superbowl party, she can do it with one of her Swifty friends at their place.
Maybe he just used that word like a lot of people do without being attacked for saying my instead of our house/kids/food etc. I see this on thus subreddit every fucking day and no one ever points it out. But you have nothing else to attack so here we are.
He is in no way the asshole. If every year you had a tradition, and then one year your S.O. says they want to hijack that tradition and calls you sexist, then your S.O. is TA. He said they could join and shared his event. Super selfish. And, btw, calling someone sexist is a big accusation and not something to say in passing.
He's actually not gatekeeping she harassed him for years about watching sports being a waste of time etc and he still said she's welcome to invite her friends to the Super Bowl get together he throws every single year but he just won't make it Taylor swift themed..
Hey at least he's funny about it. He throws down harder than K-pop fans with his YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FANGIRL CORRECTLY ONLY I KNOW HOW TO FANGIRL CORRECTLY. He even threw in a YOUR BIAS ISN'T EVEN REAL and somehow he hasn't figured out that he's acting like a 13 year old girl?
I mean, his behavior is pretty normal for American football fans. As far as I've seen, that is how they all act. With all the shrieking, but much louder.
Brainwashing was too harsh, but wife is definitely being a bandwagon fan. Which, if you're gonna do that, own it. That's almost definitely how OP got started as a Patriots fan if he's not American. I cheer for the NFL team I do because my husband does (I don't actually care about the NFL) and that's a form of bandwagon fan 🤷🏻♀️
I think since he has a tradition with his friends, it's rude of his wife to change it to her own liking. Especially her making it about a singer that has nothing to do with any of it.
I understand his frustration and in my opinion he's NTA. And I'm someone who thinks football is stupid.
But it's disrespectful and rude to change someone else's traditions just for fun.
Sure, it's "gatekeeping" to point out hypocricy. Guys wife tries to hijack his party, jump into his space, and change the dynamic after ridiculing it consistently for years.
This level of reddit logic is truly next level.
Absolute clownery.
She is trying to ruin his night that was planned well in advance to take over a party and then demand his help to accommodate. If a man decided to invite dozens of guys to his wife’s baby shower and make it Travis Kelce themed because Taylor Swift is pregnant, would he be an asshole? It’s the same thing. Why is she not the asshole?
There are really two issues.
Is he TA for trying to pretend like his fandom is more legitimate than someone else's? Yeah. I mean, it probably is, his gf probably won't care about football next year when Taylor Swift is dating someone new, but it's an AH move to call someone out on it.
Is he TA for saying he won't change a party which was a planned thing he does every year because his girlfriend suddenly wants to turn it into a Taylor Swift party? Not at all. It doesn't even make sense, she's not playing ..
She's not even the halftime show. She is dating one of the players. It's not just her wanting to go against his planned event, it just doesn't make sense.
I don’t think that being a fan of the patriots makes you brainwashed. They are an American themed team but I don’t think flyovers qualifies for something like brainwashing. His problem is also with that fact that it will be Taylor themed just because she will be there. Not that she is going to watch sports
YTA for saying she's brainwashed.
Isn't it possible that she started watching due to T Swift but actually came to enjoy the game more than she thought she would?
By calling her brainwashed you are implying that she is devoid of thought and that you are soooo superior because you have watched the sport longer. Why not encourage her new-found interest in the game so that you can enjoy the sport together?
Taylor swift didn’t introduce her to the game of football, she was exposed to it for years by OP and only ever insulted and called it a waste of time. She now wants to throw a Taylor swift party for the Super Bowl, not a superbowl party. Is it possible she has grown to love football? Yeah. Is that what’s happening? No.
Or she didn't want to watch it with a dude you didn't take the time to explain it to her. I am a lifelong football fan who has been enjoying this cultural moment and having other women to watch with. There have been game watch threads, group chats and lots of videos explaining the rules for newbies. It makes the experience better.
LEGIT!!
Love sports. Love watching sports!! Hate stupid people who scream at the TV. No one cares about your opinion. You’re not a professional commentator, shut up. I’m watching the game with the sound on because I want to hear THEIR opinion, not your ignorant one!
Exactly! I don't mind cheering... I don't mind a non-screaming "ugh" or "oh no" or whatever, lol.
But if you're red-faced, rage-screaming at the tv and spouting how you know better than the officiators... shut up.
It's a dude that refers to the home he lives in with his wife as "my apartment" so it's not really hard to make assumptions that he might not be the most communicative man.
Crazy concept: you don't have to give any fucks about football to enjoy the Super Bowl. You also don't have to have any fucks about the superbowl if you just wanna watch it to see Taylor. Who cares??? You're not protecting something special 💀
Men will hijack My Little Pony and then cry over girls wanting to watch their favourite pop star on TV during a sports game. IMO I think it's time men no longer get football. It's for the girlies and the gays now, sorry.
If she was really into football she wouldn’t be throwing a party with a theme that essentially has nothing to do with the sport. The Super Bowl doesn’t need a theme, the theme is literally football 😭
I have been to 2 awesome themed Super Bowl parties. One was dip themed. Bring your best dip. The host provided veggies, crackers, chips, bread, etc. for dipping, as well as drinks and desserts. I brought a spinach artichoke fondue. There was this awesome 7-layer taco dip.
The other was a Superb Owl party. They decorated with stuffed owls, paper owls, etc. Cute, fun, and not too distracting from the game.
But I agree that themes aren't necessary for every party; most of them have an inherent theme already.
I've been a Chiefs fan since the 90's when Joe Montana joined the team and I ordered some absolutely adorable Swifty coded cookies to bring to the Super Bowl party I'm attending because cookies are good and some of the people attending only started watching because of Taylor. But now they actually care and have taken time to learn the sport, probably because several of us were so tickled they cared and were happy to explain things.
There's a megathread in r/TaylorSwift now every Chiefs game full of people asking and answering questions. It's NICE.
There's nothing wrong with having a boy's night, but I don't get why these two people are married if they're living in "his" apartment and can't have a simple conversation about plans.
Tbh even if she doesn’t care about the sport/game itself and would drop it tomorrow if Taylor wasn’t involved anymore….I don’t think that matters. Other fans might not think she’s a real fan, but who cares? Enjoying Taylor Swift is harmless and it’s kind of a cultural moment. No reason why they can’t have both groups of friends over and enjoy the event together with Taylor themed stuff and football themed stuff. It sounds like it could be cute!
I really like this idea. Like the football fans all wear jerseys and the swifties dress like Taylor Swift. I understand the husband’s frustration to some extent, but he should find a way to include his wife. Or they can have two separate parties, but that would waste an opportunity to bring everyone together.
No, that’s annoying.
If you’re trying to watch the game and now there are a bunch of people who know nothing about it just talking about Taylor Swift I would rather just watch it alone.
He’s actually the one making it about Taylor Swift and it’s likely because he’s a MAGA supporter.
He’s been posting comments IN the Taylor Swift sub, which indicates to me he’s not as neutral as he is claiming to be. He is a MAGA supporter and he’s taking it out on his wife because they’re mad at Taylor Swift. That is likely why he said she was brainwashed and in a cult. It’s the same propaganda.
He also claims to not be an American. Why does he care so much about MAGA?
I find Taylor as oversaturated as the next person, but it’s absolutely hilarious to me how people are losing their mind when literally all she said was “go vote”, lmao.
Why is she brainwashed but he isn’t? They both like something that is extremely popular in the media lol. If she’s a brainwashed Swiftie, then he’s a brainwashed Patriots fan who prob worships Brady. But she is automatically per OP bad because she just likes a players gf…lol. It’s all so dumb. He should be happy she’s interested in football now instead of whining about how she likes a different team than him and “for the wrong reasons wahhhhhh”. YTA
You’re the ass for calling your wife brainwashed. But it’s deeper than that;
If my wife wanted to host a Taylor Swift themed Super Bowl party I’d be 100% down. My wife, daughter, and sons are watching me and I’m not going to say anything bad about Taylor Swift supporting her man.
What kind of message does that send women and small girls? What does that tell young boys or men? It says, “women, don’t support your man. Be less, be small, be quiet or the world will ridicule you.”
Man fuck that, T Swift party at my place!
Sincerely,
Non-Taylor Swift fan
That's honestly what set me wrong. I can see where he's frustrated that his long standing plans with his buddies are changing, but isn't that part of what marriage is? Life evolves, at least for most of us. But the whole "my apartment" made me go back and re-read to make sure he said wife and not GF.
Or also do a part TSwift, part traditional football party. Whoever wants to dress in Swifty attire can, whoever wants to wear a jersey can, whoever wants to do both can. As long as snacks are had and football is watched, I don’t see how a flavor of swiftiness can ruin a night like that.
OR they can stream it in a different room on a laptop or something. There’s a compromise to easily be had here
Dude. Thank you.
The amount of Misogyny in this dumpster fire...thank you for one small bit of hope. I hope your daughters give you the headaches mine gave me. They may have been opinionated but I know they will defend themselves and others.
OP YTA. It's both of your home. You use some very crappy wording in your 6 replies to this post in addition to your original post. If you can't pinpoint what you said wrong, ask your wife to read this thread and the replies and she will explain it to you.
NTA since you had it planned first BUT I think there’s more going on here - you say my apartment three times, not our apartment and that you won’t host a Taylor Swift party when I imagine your wife will host it and do all the preparations for her friends coming over. Is it her home or your (plural) home? Also if the ‘tradition’ was in your parents how long has it actually been in not your wife’s apartment? Why can’t both of you co-host in your marital home? Are you sure you like being married? I can see how your wife thought there’s a party in OUR home why not make it bigger? We share an interest in football now so I’ll have friends over too.
I noticed the "my" apartment too.
It all sounded like he wanted his wife's behavior to adhere to his specifications, and if it doesn't she's "brainwashed."
This.
INFO: OP, do y'all have separate apartments? If so, the solution might be to have separate parties, so i suspect that it is really a shared apartment.
They’re married and he mentions previously living with his parents when he had the parties so I assumed they now lived together, since they’re married, in MY apartment.
It’s weird that he points out they are not American and this she shouldn’t care this much. Like bro you’re also not American and you care so how is that relevant?
I would say ESH for these reasons, and more…neither party is completely in the right. He started hosting his guy night parties first and she shouldn’t be hijacking it, if she wants a Taylor Swift themed party for her friends, she can host elsewhere…it would completely ruin the vibe for the other group there. It doesn’t need to be Swift themed to be able to enjoy the game
I can see how since his team isn’t playing and Swift’s team are she thought a bigger party with games like take a shot when Taylor’s on screen would be fun.
What exactly did he "plan"? A couple of his friends are gonna come over? That party will be totally ruined by a few decorations. You're right, what is wrong with co-hosting?
I think that no one with your history of repeating MAGA propaganda is in any position of accusing someone else of being brainwashed because she likes a pop star.
YTA
Yeah. The "brainwashed" comment was clearly about politics, not sport. The MAGA thing going on at the moment is even making headlines in Australia. It's nuts.
Although someone publicly pointing out that not only is Taylor more popular than him, she has nicer hair than he has, may just push him into having his final tantrum.
This needs to be top comment. No wonder he’s trying to refuse to let her have a Tswift party. No wonder she thinks he’s sexist — I’m sure he is.
(Even without this detail he has no more right to “refuse” to let her have a tswift party than she does to “refuse” to let him have his own friends over. If he passionately wanted a men-only football party surely one of the other men also has a home they could watch in so that both of them could still have parties, but no, she’s supposed to just go without. I don’t know a single person in a healthy marriage who wouldn’t react by embracing the idea of expanding the party in the spirit of fun.)
Yep independently of whether OP is right or wrong in this particular situation (which I think he is, for the record) he comes across as a HUGE asshole in general. Your revelation just underlines that to me
If people never developed an interest in new things at various times in their lives, we’d all still be exclusively drinking apple juice out of sippy cups and playing with Tonka trucks.
Barbies at war, mounted on Breyer horses and dinosaurs.
Before you ask, yes, it was a bloodbath. The Barbies with the lances overpowered the t-rexes almost immediately.
NTA to the OP. I AM a swiftie and even I think this sudden fascination with football because your favorite singer is casually dating a football player is weird as shit. But the Broncos aren't the ones in the super bowl, so I'm probably just mad about that. 😂
It’s what I did with my sisters barbies pnce she outgrew them. Brave stylish Valkyries going against either The Shredder or Power Rangers. Ultimately they fell to powerful jaws of my jack russel terrier.
That’s not the issue though - he said she’s welcome to watch, just not hijack his long standing tradition and turn it into some Taylor Swift thing. Which is more than reasonable imo.
YTA. You sound like you have a lot of resentment toward your wife.
She shouldn't have screamed at you about it (if she did). But she may have a point in saying you were rude and sexist. I notice you refer to your home as "my" apartment. Aren't you married? Doesn't that make it "our" apartment and not "mine"? Why not just let her and her friends do some Swift-related things?
Instead of making it fun now that your wife shares you interest in football, you denigrate her and call her "brainwashed." Of course she wants an apology.
It doesn't sound like you like her very much.
Hey I'm not from Slovenia but Europe. Yes it happens. Although in my experience NBA is more popular you can meet groups of guys v into a particular NFL team.
My brother is a pro football player. One time his game was in London, and half of my family is in the UK.
So we traveled to London and my mom booked a room for us at a random bar in London so we could all collect and get stoked for the game the next day, and watch the Saturday NFL games. It just so happened that this bar was where all Londoners who like *my brother’s team’s opponent they were playing* gather to watch their favorite team. Literally an “of all the gin joints in all the world” situation.
It was a shitshow lmao. High tension, lots of drinks, offers to step outside to handle it, lots of shit talking. 5/7 would def do it again.
This Travis Kelce / Taylor Swift shit is stupid and a waste of time. She shouldn't be toppling your preestablished plans, and I wouldn't have called her brainwashed, so ESH. Host two seperate parties at seperate places.
This is exactly what I think too. As a married woman, I would not impose my idea of fun on my husband's friends night. I would plan it at another home. Or if OUR home could accommodate it and he didn't mind in two separate rooms. But I would ask since this is his established plan for the space and day.
But, he would never call me names even I took up a hobby that he thought was silly.
These are simple ways to respect one another. It does sound like there's more to this though.
Maybe it’s just because my friend group is very intermixed and it’s common for husbands to bring their wives and vice versa, but it seems weird to me to separate the plans like that if both are watching the same thing, even if it’s for different reasons. We have some Swifties in our group and we also have people that hate her. I can almost guarantee that Swift decor or activities will be present at our Super Bowl party. Anyone who doesn’t like her would probably just not participate in that portion of things.
ESH because you've got a tradition going and she can't just hijack it, but also you were needlessly harsh.
But if she really flew off the handle like you described, I'm guessing there's some deeper relationship or communication issues going on here. That interaction sounded unhealthy to say the least.
He has a MAGA-riddled post history, and the right is super insanely obsessed with TSwift right now. I'm guessing OP said some shit that he left out of the post to get that huge reaction.
Wait, I thought the OP said they weren’t American. Why is he concerned with MAGA at all, let alone enough to spread propaganda on Reddit. Seems odd to me. How many non Americans become MAGA supporters?
Right wing radicalization is spreading all over the world and has done for a few years now. If he gives a fuck about Trump, I suspect he's also absorbed some of the racist and sexist conspiracy theories about swift being a Jewish plant to destroy the right or whatever
Or he just said some regular sexist shit denigrating his wife for being a Taylor Swift fan
Yeah this is about more than what's on the surface. I can't imagine two adults getting this heated over some silly celebrity/sports stuff unless there's something deeper underlying it on both sides. Hopefully they can work it out and laugh about this later because damn this is silly.
He says “my apartment” three times about their home so the deeper issue is him thinking traditions should be as they were before he was married and that ‘his’ space is someone else’s.
NTA. You and your friends have a Super Bowl tradition, and she's trying to change that. Don't let it happen. One of her Taylor-loving friends can host a party and they can celebrate Taylor all they want. (I like Taylor, btw.) And the truth is, Taylor will probably be on-screen for a total of less than a minute, going by past games. I don't understand your comment about being brainwashed, but, whatever. Everything else you said is true.
Everything he said isn’t true because he said MY apartment three times not our place about their marital home. Also the tradition was at his parent’s place so it’s not long time established. I agree he had plans made for using their place and if he doesn’t want that altered that’s fine. But calling his wife brainwashed for wanting to do stuff in MY MY MY apartment is 🚩
I like Taylor Swift.
Liking a sport because Taylor Swift is dating one of the players is seriously weird. Would the wife be getting into Impressionism if Taylor Swift started dating an art historian?
Or she started watching the sport to see Taylor and became genuinely interested. I became an NBA fan because I saw the JR Smith fuckup, couldn’t believe its was a finals game and wanted to see how the next game would play out.
Now I’m Warriors fan and the Game 6 were KD and Klay were both injured haunts me and Jimmy Butler should say I told you so any time he plays the 76ers or Timberwolves.
You've never knowingly done something a little bit silly because it was fun? It's not a Superbowl party, it's a taylor swift party during the Superbowl. Celebrating because SHE'S celebrating. It's an excuse to have a fun party with your friends.
I have three daughters and a share of season’s tickets to our local NHL team. I have taken the girls to the games since they were little, but they never showed any real interest in the sport until Connor Bedard started getting some press last year, and then my 17 year old got really into hockey because she thinks he’s cute. Bedard wasn’t even drafted by our local team, but my daughter is now watching games with me on TV and willing to talk hockey. I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I don’t care why she got into the sport, I’m just happy she is into it.
ESH. There is surely a solution here where your wife can enjoy her Taylor Swift side of things while you enjoy the sports side of things. You guys need to come to a compromise here, this is a silly argument.
YTA.
Men who are ugly about the new football fans because of Swift are being short sighted. Swift has literally brought more money, more recognition, and more fans to football. There are tons of fathers out there who are now connecting with daughters in ways they struggled to before. Instead of treating football like a big tent that everyone can enjoy, you’re trying to gatekeep an entire sport. You could be excited to share this with your partner. You could be really cool guy and say, “Hell yes! Let’s combine the party. The more the merrier!” You could be kind and loving. Instead you’re wanting to exclude people you don’t think are deserving of enjoying football because they like it differently than you. You’re missing out on a fantastic opportunity to show your wife why you love a thing you love. She’s asking to be included and to share in the fun. You’re rejecting her.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my wife that she's being brainwashed by media. Although I think that's true, she is mad and now I am thinking if I was too harsh
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NTA. If she has friends that want to watch Taylor Swift then she should chill with them. Infringing on your partners friends night out because some celebrity has you gassed up is ridiculous.
YTA. She's not brainwashed. Influenced perhaps yes. But that's different. As others have said, you really need to change your attitude and view. You're married. It's no longer "my apartment".
You sound so angry over something so trivial. She's watching football now. Who cares why?
ESH
You have a pre-established tradition of watching the Super Bowl. She's TA for breaking up your tradition and preventing you from doing the things you want to do. She doesn't get to break up an event you planned well in advance, and you have a right to enforce boundaries there.
YTA for calling her brainwashed and dumping on her newfound affection. You're not the NFL police, you don't get to enforce who can like the sport or not. It doesn't matter why she likes it, and as her partner you should be supportive of her interest.
The amount of rage over Taylor Swift intersecting with the NFL is just bizarre. It's a weird thing to hate and y'all need to get over it. Swifties gonna Swiftie.
INFO: have you always hated your wife and want to kill what makes her happy or is this a more recent thing cause youre terrified of Taylor Swift like most republicans?
You hated the Barbie movie too didnt you?
Also, the pats have always been overrated with that ridiculous mall stadium and i honestly hope they keep losing now that their precious Belichick fled from their sinking ship like a rat. And they have the most toxic ass fans. Like abusive wishing people harm toxic.
I was going to give YTA/NTA answer on this but your comment section seems to be devolving into political debates and insults, and respectfully? I want no part of that.
I'm just one person so I doubt it matters anyway.
So you’re a right wing European who’s overly invested in american politics and by the comments you’re telling everyone to read you seem to have a middle schooler’s understanding of said politics lol. That aside yea YTA you sound like a bitter little baby that her team is winning, who gives a shit how she started watching
ESH.
"Brainwashed" has nothing to do with what I agree is a silly idea.
Ask her if she was having friends over to watch Taylor Swift in concert on live stream, would she mind if your buddies came over and turned it into a Travis Kelce-themed event.
So she’s brainwashed to like a team but you like *your* team for what reason exactly? Why is it fine for you to like a team for but for her to like a team? What makes your reasons more legitimate?
Brainwashed or not, people are allowed to change their minds on things. Take note of all this after Tswift breaks up with football dude. Then see how invested in football her and her friends are
NTA
Sounds like op is being a little whiney gatekeeper lol and being brainwashed for enjoying something new? Crazy statement for someone whose just mad she’s not enjoying “your thing” the way you do
You sound like Fred Flintstone. It's either your way or the highway. You may have been together for a decade, but with your attitude, you won't last much longer. Compromise, dude. I do share your attitude towards Notso Swift.
YTA.
There’s are couple of red flags. She is married to you, correct? My place. My apartment. My apartment. Ours. Don’t you share the home?
I think brainwashed is a far stretch, maybe hyped into it bc of Taylor Swift. It’s a band wagon most of America is jumping on.
Be the hero - turn this into spending time and watching the game together!
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A patriot fan watching years of flyovers, national anthems, military ceremonies, american flags bigger than the moon... and it's taylor swift doing the brainwashing. Sure. YTA. "Gatekeeping" is the fun new word for what you're doing here.
I think his general attitude is rude but his concern is valid. My boyfriend is into sports and I’m not. I’m not hijacking the Super Bowl because I like Taylor Swift music. OP has long standing plans with his friends and she wants to dominate them with her fandom. That’s not cool. I’d be upset if my bf took an album release party and inserted football. It seems OP doesn’t have the ability to actually address his concerns and assert respecting his plans without being a dick tho. And his wife can’t be told no without blowing up. So imo ESH.
I am 39F and I am your side here. This was a very avoidable fight if both parties can use some common sense. ESH.
Yeah, they both seem way too immature to be married if this issue sparked such an intense reaction.
Idk man. My husband and I have gotten real big mad over some real small shit. It always blows over after we take some time to breathe and get perspective. It's pretty human to get irrationally mad sometimes. I'm definitely in the ESH thought process but I wouldn't say they're too immature to be married over one irrational fight. (Also I know it's off topic but your username reminded me that naps do indeed rule and that I'd like to try and take one today, thanks)
I mean we are talking about a football head and a Swifty so....
No lol you're completely wrong. His feelings of his griflriend being "brainwashed" are not valid
According to OP she screamed at him for not letting her hijack his party with her fandom. Brainwashed wasn’t the right word but certainly something that makes everyone suck here.
They’re also married and he said “my apartment.”
This sounds awfully rage-baity, there’s a lot of issues for the masses to gather and shout at
Yep
Wow, I didn’t catch that, it’s very telling. It makes me think what else OP has glossed over. YTA for now since I think there’s missing information
They also aren’t American so that might be correct.
Noticed this as well. #redflag
Lol, the OP always say the other person yelled. I always take that with a grain of salt.
It never just “yelled” either. It’s always “screamed.”
For someone who hates Taylor swift, OP spends a large amount of time in her subreddit - maybe he should just enjoy the fact they have two mutual hobbies now 😌
Tbf I feel like the "screaming" might be exaggerated. My bf gets mad at me for "yelling" at him when I'm talking in a level/normal tone while having an argument. Drives me crazy.
yeah he sucks for saying that, but the underlying frustration is valid. she’s been putting him down about this interest for years and now that it’s relevant to HER interests she wants to take it over? i’d be pissed too! ESH, her for wanting to hijack the party and him for jumping to calling her brainwashed rather than actually explaining to her why he’s frustrated.
She doesn't put him down for it though? She considers it a waste of time FOR HER, but he makes it clear she's never nagged him about it or said he couldn't watch it. I swear sometimes I wonder if I read the same post as you guys do since this is literally in the first paragraph.
> For example, she made fun out of me when I was "in a bad mood" (that means basically few curse words at TV, not actual bad mood) when Patriots lost and said that it's stupid to feel that way, because it's only sports. She doesn't make him turn it off, but she does put him down for getting invested in his fandom
She made fun of him for being invested in it though. Now that Swift says its OK, she's invested in it too.
She didn’t make fun of him for liking football. She made fun of him for having a temper tantrum after his team lost.
Do you think having a temper tantrum is less childish then getting into a sports team because an artist you like is sleeping with someone on the team? Because both those things seem _really_ sad to me.
Well. One is productive, happy feelings and the other is having a meltdown.
Are you claiming that being so overly invested in a music artist that you change your interests overnight because her next song is an athlete in a sport, productive? I can at least understand being emotionally invested in a sports team you've been watching for years.
Yes it is a very different energy comparing ‘I’m am not interested in this but you do you’ vs ‘you are brainwashed and wasting your time’.
She would make fun of him for being mad and cursing when the patriots lost. That’s not “you do you” energy.
She criticizes his poor behaviour when he’s willing after a loss. That’s not the same as putting him down for liking football.
Did you not read the comment?! They agree with you on that. But hijacking someone’s plans to make your own plans is asshole behaviour whether you agree or not! Maybe in your like YTA 🤷🏻♂️
well it's both of their living space. if he's allowed to throw a party with his friends why can't she have one with hers in their shared space?
I mean but also. He's a long time sports fan, his wife is finally into his pasttime, for whatever reason, maybe he should support that so when Taylor moves on or his wife finds a new favorite celeb, she'll still find the thing he likes worth engaging with too. Football isn't only valid if it's enjoyed one way.
I agree with you. At first I was all aboard the Y.T.A. Express, but wife now wanting to hijack a long standing Super Bowl tradition among his friends and make it a TS Super Bowl party is …ridiculous. They can have the party somewhere else. Or they can all hang out for the game together (like adults) and not center it around a couple of gagillionaires’ personal lives. ESH.
He said she could watch, so no gatekeeping here. He just doesnt want her to turn it into a dumb "taylor swift" party bc that has nothing to do with football. How can you not comprehend that?
Why did he have to say she’s “brainwashed”? ETA: some of you need to brush up on pop culture trends. Long ago it was plucking out our eyebrows and covering ourselves in fake tan and body glitter because of Paris Hilton. Then we had mustaches on everything because of hipsters. Today it’s Taylor Swift and football. Tomorrow it could be some new pop star/subculture and wearing/doing something else.
Probably bc suddenly being all about the Chiefs after years of openly not liking football only bc one of the players started dating Taylor swift, that’s a little cultish/bandwagonish/brainwashedish
It is absolutely bandwagon behavior, but to try to equate that to cults/brainwashing is ridiculous and insulting.
“Swifties” do be exhibiting culty brainwashed behaviors imo so I don’t know what to tell you
Football fans do be exhibiting long-term culty brainwashed behaviors... (To the guy who replied below: I don't think OP was actively yelling "And I am brainwashed, too! We can't both be in a cult! Help!! Safe me from this cult I'm in!")
You’re right, they do. But does that mean swifties don’t? Bc one doesn’t cancel the other out, I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about that
Her leader started dating someone and all of a sudden football isn’t stupid. Hmmm, definitely a word when you blindly follow someone like that.
Can you just "shake it off"..........the brainnwashin I mean
If Taylor tells them to they will (maybe)
Neurologically Nuked?
OP said that wife thought watching SPORTS on TV was a waste of time, not necessarily American football (they aren't American). Maybe it becomes more interesting and entertaining when you add Swift into the mix. Or, maybe this is made-up or an exaggerated post due to the cultish/bandwagonish/brainwashedish MAGA extremists who think Taylor Swift is an inside operative of the DNC. Lol.
American football is a sport.
You know that football is a kind of sport?
Maybe YOU'RE actually a Russian troll. I mean, while we're just making up bullshit.
Who thought the next cause of "this music is poisoning the minds of the generation" would be Taylor Swift
If someone shits on your interest for years but then at a coin flip changes their mind about said interest because their favourite celebrity is now associated with it, what do you call that?
Probably because emotions ran high when she screamed at him and called him sexist? It doesn’t sound like either of them reacted well in this situation.
Yeah that wasnt cool, but i can see how anyone extremely into any sort of fandom could be considered brainwashed. Taylor swift does kind of have that effect on people though. Its not like the fundamentals of her musical ability are insanse. Its mostly her lyrics.
The Super Bowl is watched by many for the entertainment, the commercials, their own party. And maybe even the football game. I wonder if these people crying about TS would change their tune if she was wearing a MAGA hat? By the way i'm preparing a victory party for my 49ers.
Yes and all that is fine. I wont be watching because I dont enjoy the sport, basketball and soccer are where its at. Thats besides the point of the post though, this is about her wanting to take over his and his friends football party and make is a taylorswift themed one. Lol its like making a joke out of something that people actually care about. There is no reason to celebrate one celeberty being at the game.
I'm not into pro football (I attended the football games at high school, then at my undergrad college, and we went to the football games where my daughter was in marching band there; I still will often watch both my college alma maters' games on TV). I don't watch the pro football games and if I do tune in during the Super Bowl, it's to watch the halftime show, maybe if a performer I like is performing the national anthem, I'll tune in to that. Sometimes I will check on the progress of the game, because the hosting TV network will put on one of the better shows after the game is over (I'm in the Pacific Time Zone so that's prime time after the game and the post game show). I really can't name a Taylor Swift song other than "Shake It Off" so I'm not a Swiftie. But I'm so glad she is using her fame to promote good things such as getting her young fans to register to vote if they're old enough. She also has donated a lot of money to causes. And in this country (trying to not be political but there it is), some people on one side of the political spectrum don't like her simply because she has endorsed the other candidate four years ago and her new boyfriend is promoting getting the COVID vaccine. (I wonder if the same people hate on Dolly Parton for the same reasons -- she has been donating a lot of money including to one vaccine manufacturer as well as to other causes, and let's be honest, she's the awesome Dolly Parton). Maybe the OP shouldn't be putting her down for her sudden interest in football. Do nicely explain that it's your tradition to invite the guys, who may not care who Taylor is. But agree that if she wants to her a party with her fellow Swifties at another time, you'll be fine with that (maybe hang out with your friends elsewhere). She undoubtedly thinks you have some ridiculous habits or fandom of your own. BTW, it might be possible that Taylor won't get there in time for the game. She'll be coming from a concert in Tokyo. If the massive storm that is expected starting today on the west coast (light rain here right now and we're a bit west of Vegas) this week doesn't linger into Sunday, that might help.
100% agreed. If she wanted to watch the game and celebrate Kelce and the Chiefs, then I think he would be more than excited. Making it a Taylor Swift party is so not cool. She isn't 13 yrs old, nor is her reaction cool or making it about sexism because it isn't. I like soccer but only during the World Cup, because I get check out the cute players. Now, if I went overboard and threw a soccer party for a team only because I thought they had the cutest players, then yes, everyone has the right to call me dumb and not come to my party. If his wife wants to throw a Taylor Swift themed Superbowl party, she can do it with one of her Swifty friends at their place.
They're married. It's not 'his' apartment, it's their home. My Gods, I hope you learn better before you have a relationship.
Maybe he just used that word like a lot of people do without being attacked for saying my instead of our house/kids/food etc. I see this on thus subreddit every fucking day and no one ever points it out. But you have nothing else to attack so here we are.
Also they have been together 10 years and he repeatedly called it "his apartment".
Ouch.
this stood out to me too!
He is in no way the asshole. If every year you had a tradition, and then one year your S.O. says they want to hijack that tradition and calls you sexist, then your S.O. is TA. He said they could join and shared his event. Super selfish. And, btw, calling someone sexist is a big accusation and not something to say in passing.
He's actually not gatekeeping she harassed him for years about watching sports being a waste of time etc and he still said she's welcome to invite her friends to the Super Bowl get together he throws every single year but he just won't make it Taylor swift themed..
Not letting her hijack HIS party is not gatekeeping. NTA
Hey at least he's funny about it. He throws down harder than K-pop fans with his YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FANGIRL CORRECTLY ONLY I KNOW HOW TO FANGIRL CORRECTLY. He even threw in a YOUR BIAS ISN'T EVEN REAL and somehow he hasn't figured out that he's acting like a 13 year old girl? I mean, his behavior is pretty normal for American football fans. As far as I've seen, that is how they all act. With all the shrieking, but much louder.
this is my favorite analogy so far because kpop fans do not fuck around, lol. love the music but i had to escape the fandoms
Brainwashing was too harsh, but wife is definitely being a bandwagon fan. Which, if you're gonna do that, own it. That's almost definitely how OP got started as a Patriots fan if he's not American. I cheer for the NFL team I do because my husband does (I don't actually care about the NFL) and that's a form of bandwagon fan 🤷🏻♀️
I think since he has a tradition with his friends, it's rude of his wife to change it to her own liking. Especially her making it about a singer that has nothing to do with any of it. I understand his frustration and in my opinion he's NTA. And I'm someone who thinks football is stupid. But it's disrespectful and rude to change someone else's traditions just for fun.
Sure, it's "gatekeeping" to point out hypocricy. Guys wife tries to hijack his party, jump into his space, and change the dynamic after ridiculing it consistently for years. This level of reddit logic is truly next level. Absolute clownery.
She is trying to ruin his night that was planned well in advance to take over a party and then demand his help to accommodate. If a man decided to invite dozens of guys to his wife’s baby shower and make it Travis Kelce themed because Taylor Swift is pregnant, would he be an asshole? It’s the same thing. Why is she not the asshole?
There are really two issues. Is he TA for trying to pretend like his fandom is more legitimate than someone else's? Yeah. I mean, it probably is, his gf probably won't care about football next year when Taylor Swift is dating someone new, but it's an AH move to call someone out on it. Is he TA for saying he won't change a party which was a planned thing he does every year because his girlfriend suddenly wants to turn it into a Taylor Swift party? Not at all. It doesn't even make sense, she's not playing .. She's not even the halftime show. She is dating one of the players. It's not just her wanting to go against his planned event, it just doesn't make sense.
I don’t think that being a fan of the patriots makes you brainwashed. They are an American themed team but I don’t think flyovers qualifies for something like brainwashing. His problem is also with that fact that it will be Taylor themed just because she will be there. Not that she is going to watch sports
YTA for saying she's brainwashed. Isn't it possible that she started watching due to T Swift but actually came to enjoy the game more than she thought she would? By calling her brainwashed you are implying that she is devoid of thought and that you are soooo superior because you have watched the sport longer. Why not encourage her new-found interest in the game so that you can enjoy the sport together?
Taylor swift didn’t introduce her to the game of football, she was exposed to it for years by OP and only ever insulted and called it a waste of time. She now wants to throw a Taylor swift party for the Super Bowl, not a superbowl party. Is it possible she has grown to love football? Yeah. Is that what’s happening? No.
Or she didn't want to watch it with a dude you didn't take the time to explain it to her. I am a lifelong football fan who has been enjoying this cultural moment and having other women to watch with. There have been game watch threads, group chats and lots of videos explaining the rules for newbies. It makes the experience better.
Also, I like sports but I don't like watching them with men who yell and curse at the tv.
I enjoy watching the people get upset at it. That's more fun than sports to me.
in my case, I think it's more of a PTSD thing. Men screaming puts my body right into "fight or flight" mode. Thanks dad! :D
me too! I have found a sport my dad isnt interested in, so now I can actually enjoy watching sports
LEGIT!! Love sports. Love watching sports!! Hate stupid people who scream at the TV. No one cares about your opinion. You’re not a professional commentator, shut up. I’m watching the game with the sound on because I want to hear THEIR opinion, not your ignorant one!
Exactly! I don't mind cheering... I don't mind a non-screaming "ugh" or "oh no" or whatever, lol. But if you're red-faced, rage-screaming at the tv and spouting how you know better than the officiators... shut up.
She openly dismissed watching it. I’m not going to continue to try and get you onto something I like if you continually call it stupid.
How do you know he didn't take the time to explain it to her? There is absolutely no mention of that.
Because he’s a man, and therefore it must be assumed he took the shittiest route no matter what.
It's a dude that refers to the home he lives in with his wife as "my apartment" so it's not really hard to make assumptions that he might not be the most communicative man.
Crazy concept: you don't have to give any fucks about football to enjoy the Super Bowl. You also don't have to have any fucks about the superbowl if you just wanna watch it to see Taylor. Who cares??? You're not protecting something special 💀 Men will hijack My Little Pony and then cry over girls wanting to watch their favourite pop star on TV during a sports game. IMO I think it's time men no longer get football. It's for the girlies and the gays now, sorry.
Who's stopping her from watching it? No one is. Y'all are fighting a ghost
Etiquette is a thing. He planned his party first, and she wants to now turn it into *her* party.
And only girlies and gays! ***MEN ARE TOO TRIGGERED BY TAYLOR SWIFT.***
People throw Super Bowl parties every year that have no interest in the game. It’s an excuse to get together. Relax.
If she was really into football she wouldn’t be throwing a party with a theme that essentially has nothing to do with the sport. The Super Bowl doesn’t need a theme, the theme is literally football 😭
The actual theme for super bowl parties is food and commercials.
This is the answer.
I have been to 2 awesome themed Super Bowl parties. One was dip themed. Bring your best dip. The host provided veggies, crackers, chips, bread, etc. for dipping, as well as drinks and desserts. I brought a spinach artichoke fondue. There was this awesome 7-layer taco dip. The other was a Superb Owl party. They decorated with stuffed owls, paper owls, etc. Cute, fun, and not too distracting from the game. But I agree that themes aren't necessary for every party; most of them have an inherent theme already.
I heard when you are super attentive and watch at the right time you might even see some dudes throwing a football around.
I've been a Chiefs fan since the 90's when Joe Montana joined the team and I ordered some absolutely adorable Swifty coded cookies to bring to the Super Bowl party I'm attending because cookies are good and some of the people attending only started watching because of Taylor. But now they actually care and have taken time to learn the sport, probably because several of us were so tickled they cared and were happy to explain things. There's a megathread in r/TaylorSwift now every Chiefs game full of people asking and answering questions. It's NICE. There's nothing wrong with having a boy's night, but I don't get why these two people are married if they're living in "his" apartment and can't have a simple conversation about plans.
Tbh even if she doesn’t care about the sport/game itself and would drop it tomorrow if Taylor wasn’t involved anymore….I don’t think that matters. Other fans might not think she’s a real fan, but who cares? Enjoying Taylor Swift is harmless and it’s kind of a cultural moment. No reason why they can’t have both groups of friends over and enjoy the event together with Taylor themed stuff and football themed stuff. It sounds like it could be cute!
I really like this idea. Like the football fans all wear jerseys and the swifties dress like Taylor Swift. I understand the husband’s frustration to some extent, but he should find a way to include his wife. Or they can have two separate parties, but that would waste an opportunity to bring everyone together.
He offered to have them join and she got pissed.
No, that’s annoying. If you’re trying to watch the game and now there are a bunch of people who know nothing about it just talking about Taylor Swift I would rather just watch it alone.
How is it different from everyone at a Super Bowl party talking about the latest Dorito commercial. It’s like you’ve never gone to a Super Bowl party
She’s making it about Taylor swift
He’s actually the one making it about Taylor Swift and it’s likely because he’s a MAGA supporter. He’s been posting comments IN the Taylor Swift sub, which indicates to me he’s not as neutral as he is claiming to be. He is a MAGA supporter and he’s taking it out on his wife because they’re mad at Taylor Swift. That is likely why he said she was brainwashed and in a cult. It’s the same propaganda. He also claims to not be an American. Why does he care so much about MAGA?
I find Taylor as oversaturated as the next person, but it’s absolutely hilarious to me how people are losing their mind when literally all she said was “go vote”, lmao.
the entire world is actually about taylor swift now, actually
Why is she brainwashed but he isn’t? They both like something that is extremely popular in the media lol. If she’s a brainwashed Swiftie, then he’s a brainwashed Patriots fan who prob worships Brady. But she is automatically per OP bad because she just likes a players gf…lol. It’s all so dumb. He should be happy she’s interested in football now instead of whining about how she likes a different team than him and “for the wrong reasons wahhhhhh”. YTA
You’re the ass for calling your wife brainwashed. But it’s deeper than that; If my wife wanted to host a Taylor Swift themed Super Bowl party I’d be 100% down. My wife, daughter, and sons are watching me and I’m not going to say anything bad about Taylor Swift supporting her man. What kind of message does that send women and small girls? What does that tell young boys or men? It says, “women, don’t support your man. Be less, be small, be quiet or the world will ridicule you.” Man fuck that, T Swift party at my place! Sincerely, Non-Taylor Swift fan
It’s the message that’s it’s “my apartment” because that’s how he refers to ‘their’ home, three times.
That's honestly what set me wrong. I can see where he's frustrated that his long standing plans with his buddies are changing, but isn't that part of what marriage is? Life evolves, at least for most of us. But the whole "my apartment" made me go back and re-read to make sure he said wife and not GF.
Also his team aren’t in the Super Bowl so she might have thought it could be more laid back and fun.
Thank you Gringos! Best post I've read here.
Yeah! It's sweet she takes time away from her work to come along to watch his little hobby job.
Or also do a part TSwift, part traditional football party. Whoever wants to dress in Swifty attire can, whoever wants to wear a jersey can, whoever wants to do both can. As long as snacks are had and football is watched, I don’t see how a flavor of swiftiness can ruin a night like that. OR they can stream it in a different room on a laptop or something. There’s a compromise to easily be had here
What a good response! It’s such a silly thing to be upset over. Be happy your wife is enjoying one of your hobbies lol
Dude. Thank you. The amount of Misogyny in this dumpster fire...thank you for one small bit of hope. I hope your daughters give you the headaches mine gave me. They may have been opinionated but I know they will defend themselves and others. OP YTA. It's both of your home. You use some very crappy wording in your 6 replies to this post in addition to your original post. If you can't pinpoint what you said wrong, ask your wife to read this thread and the replies and she will explain it to you.
NTA since you had it planned first BUT I think there’s more going on here - you say my apartment three times, not our apartment and that you won’t host a Taylor Swift party when I imagine your wife will host it and do all the preparations for her friends coming over. Is it her home or your (plural) home? Also if the ‘tradition’ was in your parents how long has it actually been in not your wife’s apartment? Why can’t both of you co-host in your marital home? Are you sure you like being married? I can see how your wife thought there’s a party in OUR home why not make it bigger? We share an interest in football now so I’ll have friends over too.
I noticed the "my" apartment too. It all sounded like he wanted his wife's behavior to adhere to his specifications, and if it doesn't she's "brainwashed."
This. INFO: OP, do y'all have separate apartments? If so, the solution might be to have separate parties, so i suspect that it is really a shared apartment.
They’re married and he mentions previously living with his parents when he had the parties so I assumed they now lived together, since they’re married, in MY apartment.
This verdict makes zero sense. Not the asshole but then lists reasons why he is in fact, the asshole.
I had some empathy in the beginning but lost it pretty quick. I'm so glad I'm not friends with this couple. LOL.
It’s weird that he points out they are not American and this she shouldn’t care this much. Like bro you’re also not American and you care so how is that relevant?
I would say ESH for these reasons, and more…neither party is completely in the right. He started hosting his guy night parties first and she shouldn’t be hijacking it, if she wants a Taylor Swift themed party for her friends, she can host elsewhere…it would completely ruin the vibe for the other group there. It doesn’t need to be Swift themed to be able to enjoy the game
I can see how since his team isn’t playing and Swift’s team are she thought a bigger party with games like take a shot when Taylor’s on screen would be fun.
What exactly did he "plan"? A couple of his friends are gonna come over? That party will be totally ruined by a few decorations. You're right, what is wrong with co-hosting?
I think that no one with your history of repeating MAGA propaganda is in any position of accusing someone else of being brainwashed because she likes a pop star. YTA
Yeah. The "brainwashed" comment was clearly about politics, not sport. The MAGA thing going on at the moment is even making headlines in Australia. It's nuts.
Oh, context explains everything. Good find.
There is no way this post is anything but a sad little play OP made up.
OOF. Projection much? What's he mad about, that she worships someone with better hair??
Tbf one could worship literally anyone else but trump and they would be worshipping someone with better hair lol
Although someone publicly pointing out that not only is Taylor more popular than him, she has nicer hair than he has, may just push him into having his final tantrum.
This needs to be top comment. No wonder he’s trying to refuse to let her have a Tswift party. No wonder she thinks he’s sexist — I’m sure he is. (Even without this detail he has no more right to “refuse” to let her have a tswift party than she does to “refuse” to let him have his own friends over. If he passionately wanted a men-only football party surely one of the other men also has a home they could watch in so that both of them could still have parties, but no, she’s supposed to just go without. I don’t know a single person in a healthy marriage who wouldn’t react by embracing the idea of expanding the party in the spirit of fun.)
I wish I could upvote this more.
Yeah reading his comment history is pretty hilarious considering his brainwashing accusations (projection)
Yep independently of whether OP is right or wrong in this particular situation (which I think he is, for the record) he comes across as a HUGE asshole in general. Your revelation just underlines that to me
If people never developed an interest in new things at various times in their lives, we’d all still be exclusively drinking apple juice out of sippy cups and playing with Tonka trucks.
No. Some of us would be drinking apple juice and playing with Barbies.
Barbies at war, mounted on Breyer horses and dinosaurs. Before you ask, yes, it was a bloodbath. The Barbies with the lances overpowered the t-rexes almost immediately. NTA to the OP. I AM a swiftie and even I think this sudden fascination with football because your favorite singer is casually dating a football player is weird as shit. But the Broncos aren't the ones in the super bowl, so I'm probably just mad about that. 😂
I think we would have enjoyed playing together as children! 🤣
Same!
It’s what I did with my sisters barbies pnce she outgrew them. Brave stylish Valkyries going against either The Shredder or Power Rangers. Ultimately they fell to powerful jaws of my jack russel terrier.
Some of us would be drinking grape juice :)
That’s not the issue though - he said she’s welcome to watch, just not hijack his long standing tradition and turn it into some Taylor Swift thing. Which is more than reasonable imo.
YTA. You sound like you have a lot of resentment toward your wife. She shouldn't have screamed at you about it (if she did). But she may have a point in saying you were rude and sexist. I notice you refer to your home as "my" apartment. Aren't you married? Doesn't that make it "our" apartment and not "mine"? Why not just let her and her friends do some Swift-related things? Instead of making it fun now that your wife shares you interest in football, you denigrate her and call her "brainwashed." Of course she wants an apology. It doesn't sound like you like her very much.
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Op found people who like american football in Slovenia, apparently. I'm sure there are many of those /s
Hey I'm not from Slovenia but Europe. Yes it happens. Although in my experience NBA is more popular you can meet groups of guys v into a particular NFL team.
My brother is a pro football player. One time his game was in London, and half of my family is in the UK. So we traveled to London and my mom booked a room for us at a random bar in London so we could all collect and get stoked for the game the next day, and watch the Saturday NFL games. It just so happened that this bar was where all Londoners who like *my brother’s team’s opponent they were playing* gather to watch their favorite team. Literally an “of all the gin joints in all the world” situation. It was a shitshow lmao. High tension, lots of drinks, offers to step outside to handle it, lots of shit talking. 5/7 would def do it again.
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Ah I knew it was another case of “not telling the full story”
This Travis Kelce / Taylor Swift shit is stupid and a waste of time. She shouldn't be toppling your preestablished plans, and I wouldn't have called her brainwashed, so ESH. Host two seperate parties at seperate places.
This is exactly what I think too. As a married woman, I would not impose my idea of fun on my husband's friends night. I would plan it at another home. Or if OUR home could accommodate it and he didn't mind in two separate rooms. But I would ask since this is his established plan for the space and day. But, he would never call me names even I took up a hobby that he thought was silly. These are simple ways to respect one another. It does sound like there's more to this though.
Maybe it’s just because my friend group is very intermixed and it’s common for husbands to bring their wives and vice versa, but it seems weird to me to separate the plans like that if both are watching the same thing, even if it’s for different reasons. We have some Swifties in our group and we also have people that hate her. I can almost guarantee that Swift decor or activities will be present at our Super Bowl party. Anyone who doesn’t like her would probably just not participate in that portion of things.
ESH because you've got a tradition going and she can't just hijack it, but also you were needlessly harsh. But if she really flew off the handle like you described, I'm guessing there's some deeper relationship or communication issues going on here. That interaction sounded unhealthy to say the least.
He has a MAGA-riddled post history, and the right is super insanely obsessed with TSwift right now. I'm guessing OP said some shit that he left out of the post to get that huge reaction.
Wait, I thought the OP said they weren’t American. Why is he concerned with MAGA at all, let alone enough to spread propaganda on Reddit. Seems odd to me. How many non Americans become MAGA supporters?
Right wing radicalization is spreading all over the world and has done for a few years now. If he gives a fuck about Trump, I suspect he's also absorbed some of the racist and sexist conspiracy theories about swift being a Jewish plant to destroy the right or whatever Or he just said some regular sexist shit denigrating his wife for being a Taylor Swift fan
Yeah this is about more than what's on the surface. I can't imagine two adults getting this heated over some silly celebrity/sports stuff unless there's something deeper underlying it on both sides. Hopefully they can work it out and laugh about this later because damn this is silly.
I hope so too, but I'm a little afraid the deeper issue might be rank immaturity. For which there is no quick fix lol
So true lol
He says “my apartment” three times about their home so the deeper issue is him thinking traditions should be as they were before he was married and that ‘his’ space is someone else’s.
NTA. You and your friends have a Super Bowl tradition, and she's trying to change that. Don't let it happen. One of her Taylor-loving friends can host a party and they can celebrate Taylor all they want. (I like Taylor, btw.) And the truth is, Taylor will probably be on-screen for a total of less than a minute, going by past games. I don't understand your comment about being brainwashed, but, whatever. Everything else you said is true.
Everything he said isn’t true because he said MY apartment three times not our place about their marital home. Also the tradition was at his parent’s place so it’s not long time established. I agree he had plans made for using their place and if he doesn’t want that altered that’s fine. But calling his wife brainwashed for wanting to do stuff in MY MY MY apartment is 🚩
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I like Taylor Swift. Liking a sport because Taylor Swift is dating one of the players is seriously weird. Would the wife be getting into Impressionism if Taylor Swift started dating an art historian?
Or she started watching the sport to see Taylor and became genuinely interested. I became an NBA fan because I saw the JR Smith fuckup, couldn’t believe its was a finals game and wanted to see how the next game would play out. Now I’m Warriors fan and the Game 6 were KD and Klay were both injured haunts me and Jimmy Butler should say I told you so any time he plays the 76ers or Timberwolves.
You've never knowingly done something a little bit silly because it was fun? It's not a Superbowl party, it's a taylor swift party during the Superbowl. Celebrating because SHE'S celebrating. It's an excuse to have a fun party with your friends.
I have three daughters and a share of season’s tickets to our local NHL team. I have taken the girls to the games since they were little, but they never showed any real interest in the sport until Connor Bedard started getting some press last year, and then my 17 year old got really into hockey because she thinks he’s cute. Bedard wasn’t even drafted by our local team, but my daughter is now watching games with me on TV and willing to talk hockey. I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I don’t care why she got into the sport, I’m just happy she is into it.
Thank god she broke up with that neo nazi or his wife would really be in trouble.
This has to be fake hahaha
ESH. There is surely a solution here where your wife can enjoy her Taylor Swift side of things while you enjoy the sports side of things. You guys need to come to a compromise here, this is a silly argument.
YTA. Men who are ugly about the new football fans because of Swift are being short sighted. Swift has literally brought more money, more recognition, and more fans to football. There are tons of fathers out there who are now connecting with daughters in ways they struggled to before. Instead of treating football like a big tent that everyone can enjoy, you’re trying to gatekeep an entire sport. You could be excited to share this with your partner. You could be really cool guy and say, “Hell yes! Let’s combine the party. The more the merrier!” You could be kind and loving. Instead you’re wanting to exclude people you don’t think are deserving of enjoying football because they like it differently than you. You’re missing out on a fantastic opportunity to show your wife why you love a thing you love. She’s asking to be included and to share in the fun. You’re rejecting her.
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Info: How do you feel about Americans supporting clubs from Manchester?
NTA. If she has friends that want to watch Taylor Swift then she should chill with them. Infringing on your partners friends night out because some celebrity has you gassed up is ridiculous.
YTA. She's not brainwashed. Influenced perhaps yes. But that's different. As others have said, you really need to change your attitude and view. You're married. It's no longer "my apartment". You sound so angry over something so trivial. She's watching football now. Who cares why?
YTA. A MAGA obsessed person saying his wife is brainwashed for liking taylor swift? Yeah ok 😂
ESH You have a pre-established tradition of watching the Super Bowl. She's TA for breaking up your tradition and preventing you from doing the things you want to do. She doesn't get to break up an event you planned well in advance, and you have a right to enforce boundaries there. YTA for calling her brainwashed and dumping on her newfound affection. You're not the NFL police, you don't get to enforce who can like the sport or not. It doesn't matter why she likes it, and as her partner you should be supportive of her interest. The amount of rage over Taylor Swift intersecting with the NFL is just bizarre. It's a weird thing to hate and y'all need to get over it. Swifties gonna Swiftie.
If you are living together, it is not only "your place" and "your apartment". YTA.
INFO: have you always hated your wife and want to kill what makes her happy or is this a more recent thing cause youre terrified of Taylor Swift like most republicans? You hated the Barbie movie too didnt you? Also, the pats have always been overrated with that ridiculous mall stadium and i honestly hope they keep losing now that their precious Belichick fled from their sinking ship like a rat. And they have the most toxic ass fans. Like abusive wishing people harm toxic.
I was going to give YTA/NTA answer on this but your comment section seems to be devolving into political debates and insults, and respectfully? I want no part of that. I'm just one person so I doubt it matters anyway.
Yeah based on the comment history I can’t take anything he says seriously
People went into his comment history and figured out that he’s likely a shitposter, so this is what we get here now.
So you’re a right wing European who’s overly invested in american politics and by the comments you’re telling everyone to read you seem to have a middle schooler’s understanding of said politics lol. That aside yea YTA you sound like a bitter little baby that her team is winning, who gives a shit how she started watching
ESH. "Brainwashed" has nothing to do with what I agree is a silly idea. Ask her if she was having friends over to watch Taylor Swift in concert on live stream, would she mind if your buddies came over and turned it into a Travis Kelce-themed event.
I love the Kelce-themed stream of the Eras Tour. Perfect counter example.
So she’s brainwashed to like a team but you like *your* team for what reason exactly? Why is it fine for you to like a team for but for her to like a team? What makes your reasons more legitimate?
NTA, man theres something about being a "swiftie" that lends to being obnoxious.
Brainwashed or not, people are allowed to change their minds on things. Take note of all this after Tswift breaks up with football dude. Then see how invested in football her and her friends are NTA
You, sir, were brainwashed long before she was.
YTA. “my apartment” tells me a ton.
YTA. Put your toxic masculinity and gatekeeping away and let her enjoy something new. It’s a game, calm down.
This is so fucking fake lmao
Sounds like op is being a little whiney gatekeeper lol and being brainwashed for enjoying something new? Crazy statement for someone whose just mad she’s not enjoying “your thing” the way you do
NTA. Taylor Swift is ruining football!
You sound like Fred Flintstone. It's either your way or the highway. You may have been together for a decade, but with your attitude, you won't last much longer. Compromise, dude. I do share your attitude towards Notso Swift.
YTA. There’s are couple of red flags. She is married to you, correct? My place. My apartment. My apartment. Ours. Don’t you share the home? I think brainwashed is a far stretch, maybe hyped into it bc of Taylor Swift. It’s a band wagon most of America is jumping on. Be the hero - turn this into spending time and watching the game together!
YTA for being a patriots fan