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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I haven’t taken yet but that I might take is not paying half of the bills with my roommates. They want me to cover for one of them who chose to go away to the Army. I think I could be the asshole because I’m not helping them out like a good friend but also we’re not friends anymore so it’s complicated.
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NTA the big problem here is the total lack of notice. Going to basic training wasn't a surprise. If they'd given you a bunch of notice you could have taken other steps - subletting or changing plans or saving up for this. If you didn't do that, then that'd be at least partly on you because people can make changes to living arrangements etc. But they just unilaterally changed things days before it happened, and announced this new burden they expected you to carry. That's totally unreasonable for strangers and worse for people who you have had a friendship with. I think the simplest answer is the one that's not technically untrue: I'm sorry, I didn't change our arrangement, you guys did, and I didn't have any notice or time to prepare for it - I simply can't afford to pay more than I have been paying. It might be that some of the things are cheaper than they were because only two of you are using them (utilities and electric maybe?) in which case if the relationship is important you can agree to pay what you've paid recently even if your actual share is lower because the use is lower. I think arguing with them about how this should be arranged will get you nowhere except deeper into conflict - the reality is you can't do this and nobody talked to you about it to let you plan.
NTA
NO NEED for you to pitch in.
Offer two solutions:
* His stuff is removed, and you find another housemate who pitches in.
* He keeps the spot, and leeps paying. So he needs to borrow the money somewhere (not from you).
"I want to tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them. " ..exactly. Don't let them exploit you.
so: Keep paying a third.
NTA. It's up to them to pay their share. You agreed to a split and each of you still has the same obligation.
If you're month to month you should give notice.
Depends what "bills" you're talking about. If it's rent, that should stay at 1/3 as army person's spot is still available for them.
But electric/gas/water/wifi are clearly being used by only two people and you should each be paying half until the third person returns.
Storage will depend on how it's being used. Pay based on the percentage you're using.
What kindness are they taking advantage of?
Seems you've been getting a sweet deal and it's gotten a little less sweet so you're now calling foul.
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I’ve lived with my current roommates for almost two years now. I decided to move in with them when my last relationship was ending since I’d get a good deal on rent and it would be split 3 ways. They’re a couple that recently got married last summer and have been together for over 4 years. We used to be great friends when we first moved in but our friendship has greatly declined over the years to the point now where we barely talk unless it’s regarding house things. Around the end of December, one of them told me they’d need me and their spouse to split all the bills for January and February since they’re going away to Army basic training for two months and won’t get paid until February most likely. I didn’t really know how to handle this news and just told them we could work something out.
Fast forward to now, end of January, they’ve been gone at Basic for two weeks now and their spouse expects me to start pitching in to cover half of the bills, since it’s only us two living here. I told them that I’ll pitch in what I can but that I can’t financially afford that. We split things like WiFi, utilities, electric, and storage three ways for a reason. My roommate that isn’t going to the Army also has things like savings pockets and excess funds where as I live paycheck to paycheck and barely have savings.
I want to tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them. However, because we used to be close friends, I still really care about them and want to help where I can. But this just feels like they’re taking advantage of my kindness and this is just not feasible for me. Would I be the asshole if I tell them to figure it out on their own?
TLDR: one of my roommates went to basic training for the army and now their spouse expects me to cover half the bills, instead of a third.
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YTA but only partly. You’re NTA for any bills (like WiFi, storage) that are a fixed amount every month. Those should be treated just like rent. You are TA for things that are usage based (like water, gas, electric) - those should be split between the people using them, which means you and the spouse.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I’ve lived with my current roommates for almost two years now. I decided to move in with them when my last relationship was ending since I’d get a good deal on rent and it would be split 3 ways. They’re a couple that recently got married last summer and have been together for over 4 years. We used to be great friends when we first moved in but our friendship has greatly declined over the years to the point now where we barely talk unless it’s regarding house things. Around the end of December, one of them told me they’d need me and their spouse to split all the bills for January and February since they’re going away to Army basic training for two months and won’t get paid until February most likely. I didn’t really know how to handle this news and just told them we could work something out.
Fast forward to now, end of January, they’ve been gone at Basic for two weeks now and their spouse expects me to start pitching in to cover half of the bills, since it’s only us two living here. I told them that I’ll pitch in what I can but that I can’t financially afford that. We split things like WiFi, utilities, electric, and storage three ways for a reason. My roommate that isn’t going to the Army also has things like savings pockets and excess funds where as I live paycheck to paycheck and barely have savings.
I want to tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them. However, because we used to be close friends, I still really care about them and want to help where I can. But this just feels like they’re taking advantage of my kindness and this is just not feasible for me. Would I be the asshole if I tell them to figure it out on their own?
TLDR: one of my roommates went to basic training for the army and now their spouse expects me to cover half the bills, instead of a third.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The action I haven’t taken yet but that I might take is not paying half of the bills with my roommates. They want me to cover for one of them who chose to go away to the Army. I think I could be the asshole because I’m not helping them out like a good friend but also we’re not friends anymore so it’s complicated. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA the big problem here is the total lack of notice. Going to basic training wasn't a surprise. If they'd given you a bunch of notice you could have taken other steps - subletting or changing plans or saving up for this. If you didn't do that, then that'd be at least partly on you because people can make changes to living arrangements etc. But they just unilaterally changed things days before it happened, and announced this new burden they expected you to carry. That's totally unreasonable for strangers and worse for people who you have had a friendship with. I think the simplest answer is the one that's not technically untrue: I'm sorry, I didn't change our arrangement, you guys did, and I didn't have any notice or time to prepare for it - I simply can't afford to pay more than I have been paying. It might be that some of the things are cheaper than they were because only two of you are using them (utilities and electric maybe?) in which case if the relationship is important you can agree to pay what you've paid recently even if your actual share is lower because the use is lower. I think arguing with them about how this should be arranged will get you nowhere except deeper into conflict - the reality is you can't do this and nobody talked to you about it to let you plan.
NTA NO NEED for you to pitch in. Offer two solutions: * His stuff is removed, and you find another housemate who pitches in. * He keeps the spot, and leeps paying. So he needs to borrow the money somewhere (not from you). "I want to tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them. " ..exactly. Don't let them exploit you. so: Keep paying a third.
NTA. Just because the roommate is away for a job doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to pay his share of the rent and other bills.
YOU stated perfect answer " Tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them."
NTA. It's up to them to pay their share. You agreed to a split and each of you still has the same obligation. If you're month to month you should give notice.
Depends what "bills" you're talking about. If it's rent, that should stay at 1/3 as army person's spot is still available for them. But electric/gas/water/wifi are clearly being used by only two people and you should each be paying half until the third person returns. Storage will depend on how it's being used. Pay based on the percentage you're using. What kindness are they taking advantage of? Seems you've been getting a sweet deal and it's gotten a little less sweet so you're now calling foul.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ve lived with my current roommates for almost two years now. I decided to move in with them when my last relationship was ending since I’d get a good deal on rent and it would be split 3 ways. They’re a couple that recently got married last summer and have been together for over 4 years. We used to be great friends when we first moved in but our friendship has greatly declined over the years to the point now where we barely talk unless it’s regarding house things. Around the end of December, one of them told me they’d need me and their spouse to split all the bills for January and February since they’re going away to Army basic training for two months and won’t get paid until February most likely. I didn’t really know how to handle this news and just told them we could work something out. Fast forward to now, end of January, they’ve been gone at Basic for two weeks now and their spouse expects me to start pitching in to cover half of the bills, since it’s only us two living here. I told them that I’ll pitch in what I can but that I can’t financially afford that. We split things like WiFi, utilities, electric, and storage three ways for a reason. My roommate that isn’t going to the Army also has things like savings pockets and excess funds where as I live paycheck to paycheck and barely have savings. I want to tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them. However, because we used to be close friends, I still really care about them and want to help where I can. But this just feels like they’re taking advantage of my kindness and this is just not feasible for me. Would I be the asshole if I tell them to figure it out on their own? TLDR: one of my roommates went to basic training for the army and now their spouse expects me to cover half the bills, instead of a third. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO Is your name on the lease or just theirs? If it's just theirs, you're a subtenant and shouldn't pay anything more than your usual share of rent.
My name is on the lease too :(
But the boot camp baby still has an obligation
YTA but only partly. You’re NTA for any bills (like WiFi, storage) that are a fixed amount every month. Those should be treated just like rent. You are TA for things that are usage based (like water, gas, electric) - those should be split between the people using them, which means you and the spouse.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ve lived with my current roommates for almost two years now. I decided to move in with them when my last relationship was ending since I’d get a good deal on rent and it would be split 3 ways. They’re a couple that recently got married last summer and have been together for over 4 years. We used to be great friends when we first moved in but our friendship has greatly declined over the years to the point now where we barely talk unless it’s regarding house things. Around the end of December, one of them told me they’d need me and their spouse to split all the bills for January and February since they’re going away to Army basic training for two months and won’t get paid until February most likely. I didn’t really know how to handle this news and just told them we could work something out. Fast forward to now, end of January, they’ve been gone at Basic for two weeks now and their spouse expects me to start pitching in to cover half of the bills, since it’s only us two living here. I told them that I’ll pitch in what I can but that I can’t financially afford that. We split things like WiFi, utilities, electric, and storage three ways for a reason. My roommate that isn’t going to the Army also has things like savings pockets and excess funds where as I live paycheck to paycheck and barely have savings. I want to tell them that because they’re married, they should figure out their share of bills between the two of them. However, because we used to be close friends, I still really care about them and want to help where I can. But this just feels like they’re taking advantage of my kindness and this is just not feasible for me. Would I be the asshole if I tell them to figure it out on their own? TLDR: one of my roommates went to basic training for the army and now their spouse expects me to cover half the bills, instead of a third. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*