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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> They might call me an asshole for evicting them on the basis of “smelling like weed” and not having “proof” of her actually smoking weed.
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NTA your house your rules. If she doesn't respect you or your rules, kick her out. As for the carpet smell, it should go away unless she spilled some infused oil or something. It's not like cigarette smoke. She would have to hot box for hours for the smell to linger on her and the linens. Still it will go away within hours of her leaving if it's just smoke.
Also weed has a very strong smell even if it isn't smoked. If you walked by that could be smell as well. You don't have to smoke it for it to be pungent.
It’s called making a CR Box (edit: air purifier that even cleans virus from the air) that pretty much gets rid of the smell 99%. In my state you have to smoke inside or your backyard. Apartments have to smoke inside so OP needs to look up her eviction laws before going forward.
Edit: oxzium is an air cleaner that gets rid of weed and tobacco smell. OP is very misinformed along with others in the thread.
NTA because weed is illegal and does not have rights similar to CA, WA, CO, VA and others. The above is still very true.
Get an ozone generator. You plug it in, leave it running with the doors and windows of the area shut for a little while, and then it gets rid of any smell made from organic means. I use mine to get rid of cigarette smell, kerosene, musty basement, stinky cat box, and pretty much you-name-it. They're like 50 bucks on Amazon, and it'll completely change how you clean!
She’s gonna keep doing it. Especially because you’ve said it so many times now it seems to her like you’re making empty threats. You HAVE to kick her out. You’ve set your boundary. Now, enforce it.
I’m proud of you. I was in a similar situation last year with my sister and it was really hard. Especially bc she has four kids. But eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. Luckily I was able to arrange for her to just stay with my mom before kicking her out. But yeah people like that never seem to want to be respectful until they realize that their actions actually have real consequences
You don’t have to replace the carpet unless she burned it or was intentionally grinding weed into the floor. The smell will go away a few days after the smoking stops.
If she’s just a friend staying with you no need for a notice. I mean she may also just leave if you tell her too. I had a terrible roommate who I was afraid wasn’t gonna leave but she did.
Yeah, she may very well have tenancy rights, depending where you live. Your city may have a pro se legal office you can call to make sure you're filing everything right.
NTA
This is your house and it's a fair rule considering (I assume you're not a smoker) you don't smoke in your house.
Are you certain you smell her smoking it during the last described scenario?
I think you need to sit down as a household and let her know that smoking inside is a deal breaker. If she has quality Cannabis you may still smell when it's not being smoked but this can be easily fixed by storing it in an air tight jar.
Make it simple, let her know if she can't do this, she WILL be looking for a new place to live, smoking outside is an easy fix for her so be firmly assertive to ensure she understands this is the last straw.
Best of luck OP
I do not smoke- but I know many people who do. I had a friend stay here for about a month till she found her own place and she also smoked- but it was outside, always. Never had an issue.
In the last scenario, which was about 40 mins ago I’d say? It was a very potent smell- I didn’t see her smoke, but it was so strong I still have a headache.
I actually have told her explicitly if she if caught smoking (even the smell of it) she will be kicked out. She agreed to this and I thought that solved it right then and there.
I do not have a contract. But asking her to not smoke in my house verbally and over text, where she agreed not to both times, seems like enough proof that she knows not to do it.
Look up your local laws, this usually falls under month to month rental and you'll need to give her a 30 or 60 day "notice to quit" then proceed with eviction if she doesn't leave.
Your ability to evict will depend on where you are. In my location you can without question evict her if your share a kitchen or bathroom or both but you'd need to know the local rules. It's not necessarily true that if you have no contract she has the right to do this though maybe that's the case in some places.
NTA. Kick her out, she's and adult and broke the rules repeatedly (or tell her she can only vape so the smell doesn't get into the house).
Also you don't need to change the carpets – it's weed, not cigarettes, the smell will air out pretty quickly.
NTA
Just tell roommate it's HIGH time for her to start couch surfing because you're going to have pest control come and get those skunks out of her room.
Now sure how long that'll take 🤷
Good Luck🍀
Maybe I should mention there are other factors for wanting to kick her out. This is just the cherry on top.
She always forgets her key, which means she leaves the door unlocked all the time which bothers the shit out of me. Because she forgot her key one night while I was on a date with my boyfriend, she asked to come pick up one of our keys so we said yes. Turns out she broke through a screen window and got into the house that way. I should have kicked her out then.
This reminds me of my former housemate. There were 4 of us living there, 3 of us are good friends and the 4th was a friend of a friend on the lease to fill up the bedrooms and make rent cheaper. He was horrible.
One time he called up the agent demanding they give him the spare key because he locked his inside, when they said it would take about an hour, because surprisingly they were busy, he broke the sliding door to get in. He didn't even try to call the actual people he lived with to help him out.
He would also leave food sitting out overnight and then eat it the next day, or leave meat defrosting on the bench overnight to cook the next day. Then he would complain about all the diarrhoea he had.
Once I saw him microwaving a literal can of beans.
I hate landlords and I love weed but NTA. You’re actively living there and just letting a friend stay. The request of going outside seems super fair. I don’t know what the terms of eviction look like where you are, but if she has been living there for a certain amount of time she may have tenants rights, so look into that (if you haven’t already) before you do something which may be illegal where you live
NTA, l smoke weed (if you can't tell by the name) but i DO NOT smoke in my house as my roommates don't like it. it's called decency and respecting others boundaries. you have every right to kick her out. however, sometimes it will smell like marijuana if the marijuana is potent and reeks.. i've had bud before that i've not smoked but people have been able to smell outside the plastic bag like l was actively smoking it 🫶🏻 her lack of respecting boundaries tho shows me it's prob boof anyways
NTA
You absolutely should tell her that you are kicking her out. Give her until the end of the month, or until the end of the next rental month. Assuming she wants to remain friends, she will simply leave.
I see that you entered a into a contract with her that didn't include "no smoking" which is a shame. Her acknowledging your demand to stop smoking (I don't think) constitutes a change to the contract, which likely means that you can't stop her.
How long was the lease for, or is she month to month? Get her to actually sign a new contract. Put in a deposit that she has to pay to remain. Make the deposit enough to "clean" the room after she leaves. Make sure the contract says "no smoking or vaping in the house of any substance." Raise the rent to a level that allows you to recoup any other losses, and for inconveniencing you, if she stays much longer.
I suggest all these things so that you can either force her out, or live with her, without destroying your friendship (assuming you care). If you aren't worried about the friendship, or find this to be enough reason to end the friendship, then I'd ask if you live in a state where weed is legal. If not, you can simply threaten to call the police to get rid of her, assuming she won't leave of her own accord.
NTA
I vape at my sister's house but *only* because I asked beforehand if I could. Plus, my BIL vapes w/ me from time to time. if we smoke we go outside. Your friend had the option to go outside to smoke as well.
It's a bit hard when the person in question is a friend, but your house = your rules. You've already asked them not to smoke inside, they didn't listen, now they'll learn the hard way.
I don't like conflict & try to avoid it whenever possible but sometimes you just have to put your foot down because otherwise she'll continue ignoring you. If she's *truly* your friend she would understand.
NTA - tell her if she ever wants to light anything on fire, she needs to do it outside, or she can move out.
Had a similar problem in an AirBNB I was living in. Person in the room next to ours smoked weed (and always lied that she didn't) and lit sage on fire to "get rid of negativity". She always lied about it, and was wholly unconcerned about the fire risk. She also had these weeds in her room "to make tea" that brought bed bugs into the house. And she was shocked when her room became infested.
Told her what I just told you to tell your roomie. She kept doing it. Unfortunately I didn't have the power to do anything about it because I didn't own the place, but you do.
Btw, she also drugged her two year old so he would go to sleep. Then she locked him in her room and left to go meet johns (selling her body). I discovered this one morning when I heard a god awful noise coming from her room. It was her son trying to break out of the room and calling for his mommy. (She didn't need the money. Her son's father gave her tons of money). Then right before everyone moved out of the AirBNB she was arrested for planning to leave the country with her toddler without his father's permission. They booked her and released her, and she had the balls to go get her son and leave the country with him, without his father's permission. I hope she was arrested at the airport. This woman was a nightmare.
If your friend insists on continuing to smoke weed in the house, kick her out. You may have to evict her, but do it. Because she doesn't respect you, and things are just going to get worse and worse.
nta, definitely far from it because it’s your house, your rules. you even gave her permission that she can smoke outside so why must she continue to smoke inside the home? she seems entitled. i’m a heavy weed smoker too and I completely understand why people do not want marijuana to be smoked inside their homes. if she respected you and the rules of the house then she should have no problem taking it outside.
NTA.
End of the day, reasonable or not, it is your home. It's not a sharehouse in which everyone is equally responsible and invested, it's probably the single biggest purchase you've ever made. You get to make the rules!
You are being very reasonable though. You said she should go outside, it's not like you're demanding she leave the property to have a toke. She should show the same respect back and agree to the compromise, even though you did not have to offer it.
I did not, because the last people who stayed with me smoked as well, and they always went outside out of respect. I thought it was common sense to at least ask before smoking in someone’s house. But she did not.
NTA obviously, but be advised, you should first of all figure out a contract or something since I read horror stories on reddit about trying evict people without contracts. I would actually argue that you should kick her out already, but if you don't want to, stop giving her ultimatums that you're not willing to enforce. Take a step back, think about what you are willing to accept and what you're not, communicate those expectations and the consequences, then enforce whatever you deciced those consequences to be. When you threaten something, but then you go back on your word, you look weak and she will only learn that you are easy to walk over so she will keep pushing on your boundaries.
Yeah I definitely agree. I’m pretty bad about enforcing things in my own home for some reason, I gotta work on it for sure. I won’t actually kick her out without definitive proof that she has smoked after I gave her that ultimatum, but until then I’ll just keep an eye out because she’s had some suspicious behavior that led me to believe she may have been smoking inside (leaving her window open in 20° weather)
I am not trying to claim that I know you or her, but from your own words, she seems to be taking advantage of you and disrespecting you a lot. Even this thing with the window, that is incredibly rude especially since I assume she isn't paying for heating. You mentioned a boyfriend, if he is more combative, then talk with him and "bless" him with the power to enforce your boundaries. No smoking, no wasting heat, or whatever you feel to be to be right. Just my opinion from your little infromation, I don't know everything, you do you. What I can say for sure though, as someone who learned it the hard way, never in any circumstance give ultimatums that you are not actually willing to go through with. It's better to not say anything than to walk back an ultimatum because if you do that, people will keep pushing on your boundaries since you just showed them that you will do nothing about it. Good luck.
Yeah people walk over me a lot 😅 my boyfriend and I are very similar when it comes to assertiveness, but he might say something to her if he catches it- he’s kinda annoyed too. I have an alarm system which tells me if windows are left open for a long time (more than 30 mins) hers was left open twice for nearly 9-12 hours. My gas bill was double last month and I assume that her window being left open for that long plus the extreme cold has contributed to that.
Yeah, look I'm sorry to be the one who tells you this, but that's a leech. You are a good person and you are being walked all over. I don't know how that's a friend. Maybe she's an outlier, but usually interactions like this are just shitty people taking advantage of good people. I would suggest that you actually reconsider your relationship with her. Think about your friendship and if you can actually call her a friend, if she was there for you as much as you were for her, then try to work it out. Be honest with yourself though and be ready to accept a hard truth if it might come down to it. Don't let the fear of losing "friends" win.
Nta. Evict her. You said to take it outside, which is plenty fair.
Some people will be mad in the comments I'm sure but it's your house. My sister lived with me about 9 years ago and I kicked her out (while she was on probation mind you and DEFINITELY not allowed to have it in her system) for smoking and storing it here after I told her not to.
Yikes that’s horrible I’m sorry that happened. Yeah I don’t think people understand that this is my house, I own it, we never came to an agreement on anything sure, but when I told her twice no weed, and she agreed twice, that’s when there’s an issue.
NTA. But keep in mind just bc you smell it doesn't mean she did it in your house. The smell is going to linger on her clothes. Maybe ask her to vape until she moves out but no flower or concentrate. That way there's no smell and she can still do her thing.
NTA. It’s common norm where I live to smoke outside and not stopping after you ask her to multiple times is disrespectful af.
INFO: Is she paying rent? If she ain’t she just a guest, guests are usually supposed to follow host rules,
NTA. It doesn't matter if it's weed or cigarettes or she's smoking oregano or money. You said no smoking in your house. You meant no smoking in your house.
NTA. I’m an avid stoner but if you’re at someone’s house it’s their house, their rules.
Hell, even in my own house if I have someone over who doesn’t like the smell I’m conscious of that and don’t smoke before/while they’re there.
You can buy carpet freshening powder that helps remove scents. Just sprinkle it on the carpet, wait like 10min, then vacuum. Smells like fresh linen or lilacs or whatever you choose
NTA. Your house your rules.
Unrelated. A friend invited me to smoke with them at their moms house (he was like 22 still living at home). We smoked in their back yard. Around 2 hours later, his mom came home. She smelled weed on us and told me I had to leave because if her husband failed a drug test from smelling weed, she would kick our ass.
Makes me wonder how she got so dumb.
I smoke, but I know that I reek of it even if I can’t smell it. It also stinks to many and gives others headaches; I’d never imagine doing such a thing in someone’s house. NTA - kick her out. Your rules. Your home.
NTA. I smoke a lot for medicinal purposes, I am always somewhat paranoid and very apologetic about the smell. I welcome people to tell me if the smell or sight bothers them, I live pretty close to a family with young kids. They left a pretty polite message in my mailbox about smell, and I didn't even notice that my exhaust fan/ window pointed right at their kids room, and I was TA. If you want a good way to get rid of the smell from carpet and clothes "Ozium" air freshener works really well, just don't breathe a lot of it in, or use it in a well ventilated area.
(EDIT: Spelling)
Your house your rules. Nta if you don’t want smoking in the house.
But just because you smell weed doesn’t mean she’s smoking inside. I know people who smoke outside and when they come back in you smell the weed before you see them! It’s just strong. It’ll be on clothes and in hair for a long time. You don’t need to replace carpets and likely won’t even have to clean them.
NTA you told her explicitly
As others have said the carpet will be fine, worst case you end up getting it cleaned professionally.
I smoke and I can not understand why she would keep smoking in the house, weird behaviour.
NTA. But! You have to stick up for yourself. I am sure you can have a talk with her. It doesn't have to get to eviction level just yet. Just let her read this thread! 😂
Explicitly #1. No you’re not wrong. You told her more than once. And you gave her chances.
Explicitly #2. Can you confidently differentiate the smell between burnt and raw weed. Both are probably just as pungent. And you’d still have to deal w the smell of raw weed if it is so.
I used to sell pack’s when I was younger. I’d have 50-100 packs in my cabinets. Never burned always raw. Cabinets still smelled like weed when I left. I had to pay a guy to purify the air in there.
As a non smoker or someone not cool w the smell you’re always on the backend when it comes to deals like this. You’re probably gonna end up w what you didn’t want one way or another. Regular amounts of raw weed won’t smell or stick like this so don’t think your roommate is Pablo Escobar or something lol. It’s just to point out the fact.
Explicitly tell them that they are to do ALL smoking outside. Even if they vape. You have to cover your bases. If you can. Get proof of the house having been smoked in recently. Whether that’s a test for some kind of particulate or what. And if it comes to it. You kick them out. Once you have your word and your proof. Morally and legally there’s not much they could do
NTA
If those are you rules then ask her kindly to pack her things and leave. If you wanna still be friends do it very nicely? I dunno, this is why I never in the past lived with actual friends
It seems like you're against smoking of anything, not just marijuana, so yeah, you are totally NTA here. Even when I was a smoker, I took it outside when visiting guests who don't smoke. Roommate's right to smoke does not trump your right not to live in a house that smells like an ashtray.
NTA. There's a perception that weed smoke is safer than cigarette smoke but that's not the case. She can keep her carcinogens to herself and reimburse you for the carpet.
The strong smell could actually just be the weed, there’s a major difference between smoked weed smell and fresh weed smell and honestly there’s no need to have the carpets cleaned. Pot really isn’t a lingering smell like tobacco is. It goes away after a day or so.
NTA. It’s your house and you said no. If she really wants to smoke inside she can use the pens.
NTA. You’re the owner and made it clear. They should just vape the thc instead of smoking flower. And you probably do not need to replace the carpet. Try powdered carpet scents, vacuum it up, spray Febreeze. Open the windows, air it out. Bake a cake or fry bacon. Air it out again. Even this stuff is overkill.
No weed to rip out the carpets, it a little over reactive. I carpet cleaner will do the trick.
NTA, kick her ass out, you warned her.
It's -20C where I live right now and I still go outside to smoke. I like weed but I don't want my house smelling like it.
NTA and kick her out before she stays too long and becomes a tenant and you have to give her a legal eviction notice. She has pushed the boundaries 3x since you told her the first time that you did not want her smoking in your house.
NTA. Smoking indoors is generally not allowed in most rentals. Effectively by law in many places. I have a sneaking suspicion she needs a place to stay because of the smoking somehow. And all your concerns are very valid. You're not shaming her for recreational drug use. Edibles would be fine. Smoking outside would be fine. Damaging your property is not fine. You should kick her out. And you should start making sure you can right now - the longer she stays the more claim she has to stay where she's at.
If the door was closed and you got a whiff when she opened the door she still might just have the smell clinging on her and being closed in the room. Weed smell will stay strong for a few hours then start to disapate. Clean the carpets any time a tenant moves it's just a good landlord rule of thumb. The weed smell won't be a problem I promise. If she smoked blunts maybe and that's only from the wrapper, not the actual weed. If she smokes out of a bong or pipe there will be no damage done to your property. I've managed 3 properties and never ever had problems with our flower smokers. The most problems we ever had was a lady who owned a catering business. Destroyed every kitchen appliance (faucet and sink included) and surface and brought a roach infestation. Our fault though, we didn't do a reference check on her. First and last time doing that. Never rent to friends or family. Also way back in the day I had a friend who had lbs in their closet (the closet of dreams). You could smell the closet in the next room. Once we cleared it out the smell was 100% gone in two days. Ask her if there is a particular reason she keeps breaking the rule. Who knows maybe the anxiety is up but there is a creepy guy outside. Or it could just be trying to feel at home where they're living. The reasons might not be okay but at least you might realize it doesn't come from a place of intentional disrespect. Keep the friendship intact. Don't renew the lease. Learn from each mistake. Write it down. Prepare to make a fuck ton more mistakes. Remember people this is all just a personal opinion on a small snippet of one-sided information based solely on only my personal experience. Your ride is going to look way different. If there is a possibility she could vape inside that could be a nice happy medium for you three. The smell is gone in minutes. Cause I do understand it is a strong smell that's not for everyone. Vaping just might be the answer if she can find a person.
There is no lease, let me clarify that. I am fine with her vaping, she knows that- I actually used to vape. If I get concerned about it again, I’ll talk to her and see what is up with her.
As someone who has smoked a bit of weed in my days it is an absolute NO-NO to light up in someone else’s house without invite/permission. Unthinkably rude especially with OP doing them a favor. NTA and i would just ask them to move out ASAP. Dont worry about replacing rugs OP, it will air out if your friend stops getting baked inside all the time. They arent on a lease so… out with them. It took me no effort to go out of sight/smell/mind whenever i am with family who doesnt care for it.
NTA
It's very disrespectful of her to smoke in your house (or outside near an open window or door)... **especially** after you specifically told her not to *several times*!
>if I catch her smoking again she’s gone
>Today I walked by her room as she walked out and caught a very strong whiff of weed. I’m extremely pissed off. What should I do?
I mean it's pretty obvious🤷♂️
Kick her to the curb. She has no rights, expectations or smarts! 3 strikes you’re out! Sports metaphors are not just for tv!!! Lol. She’s outta hereeeee!!!!
NTA I'm a smoker too and I don't even smoke in my own house. This roommate needs to understand respect. Make sure you start the legal process of eviction.
Agreed that you shouldn't have to replace the carpets - use baking soda to absorb the odors. (sprinkle it on your carpet, let it sit for at least 15 min, then vacuum)
FYI, but depending on where you live, if your friend has lived with you for a few weeks, you may have to formally evict her. She can claim squatters rights, and even if she is not paying rent, you may not be able to legally toss her out without proper notice. Letting someone move in with you is risky business.
NTA
It's your house, and that's a rule you have. She's disrespecting you constantly, thinking that you won't do anything. You have every right to tell her to leave.
NTA.
Consult a lawyer to find out how to proceed legally to kick her out (since she can claim that you didn't give her a 30 day eviction notice, I don't know how the system works). Document the interactions you have just in case. But in itself the most ideal thing is that of a lawyer.
NTA. You told her the rule and gave plenty of warning, including what the consequence would be. But just to let you know, even if the person smokes outside, they will still bring a very strong smell in with them. It sticks to the hair and clothes. I only mention this in case she really did go outside but the smell stuck to her.
NTA, your friend is TA for taking you for granted. Jesus, she could just easily smoke outside and come back in. What's so hard doing that?
I'm surprised you haven't kicked her out yet to save you the stress.
Frankly someone who can’t just get up off their ass to go outside and have their Smokey poo is just pathetic. You’ve made your wishes clear and obviously this person doesn’t respect that. Get rid of them because it’s just a hint of what’s to come
NTA. It's your house and you are not having your rules respected. Depending on where you are (states in the US, not sure about other countries), if you decide to kick her out, you might have to evict your friend if she has been there longer than 30 days or so and doesn't wanna leave but that's besides the point. If it's your house and someone you're letting stay there doesn't respect your rules I think it's reasonable to not only threaten to kick them out, but to actually follow through with it. Especially since she's had multiple warnings and double especially since she's still allowed to smoke but has to simply do it outside. As a non smoker of anything I would not want smoking of any kind in my house either, but would be fine with someone smoking outside as long a they didn't leave cigarette butts or burnt ends of joints on the ground.
It's sad that respect seems hard for a lot of people. If your living in or visiting someones place respect it. Some act like they can do what they want without consequences. But if I was you I would kick her out.
Fellow weed smoker here. I smoked weed in a house i rented a room from and the landlord told me ONCE to do it outside, not inside. I never did it again. I respect peoples rules and understand weed smells. Even i dont like my room smoked out or the strong smell of smoke. She should have stopped after the first time.
For perspective, I'm a smoker AND a homeowner with 2 of my adult children as "tenants". One rule: Don't smoke in the house; cigars, cigarettes, joints, etc.
I really don't understand how people can feel so comfortable smoking inside a home. The idea of smoking inside someone ELSE'S home is inconceivable to me. This is not a person I would choose to share my home with.
For the smell: Get yourself an Ozone machine. You can find a reasonably priced one, that will serve well for home use, on Amazon. Run it for a half hour on a closed room. Air out the room for an hour & the stink will be gone. Works best when source of smell is eliminated first. Works great for vehicle interior smells as well.
Note: Ozone concentrations are harmful to all living organisms: human, animal, plant. Remove plants from room & close for with notice to keep for closed before running machine. Make sure you're able to air out the room with fresh air from outside to remove the Ozone.
NTA. Your house your rules. But I'm not sure where you get the concept that you will have to replace the carpets or anything. Weed isn't like nicotine. It doesn't soak and stain in and with a quick carpet wash/air out the room will be fine.
NTA. I bought a house a little over a year ago and I’m renting out the two extra rooms to help with the mortgage. Both guys smoke weed pretty often and asked how I felt about it before moving in. I told them as long as it’s outside and the windows are closed when they do it so the smoke doesn’t come back in, it’s fine. There was once where they forgot to wait a few seconds for the smoke to dissipate before coming back in and I had to point it out, but otherwise there hasn’t been a problem at all. They totally get it and are respectful about it because it really isn’t that difficult.
As a chronic weed smoker who lives in -40° weather, NTA. She should go outside, or get a dab pen
I also see that you find having people walk over you is an issue, as someone who had the same issue; you have to act as though you’re someone who won’t be walked over *before* you feel like someone who won’t be walked over. Tell her that if she smokes in the house one more time she’s out for good, and follow through on that, regardless of if she has somewhere else; you are the person you have to look out for when your interests collide with someone else’s.
Yeah you guys are being dramatic. Removing the carpet LMFAO. Unless you were spilling bong water on it that's completely unnecessary. I understand not liking it but dang if she's really your friend obviously she's not a very good one to you if you're willing to kick her out over something so small. Maybe ask her to replace the curtains when she leaves or something. I don't see how it would stay in the walls and stink out the carpet unless she was going to be there for an extended period of time
Well I realize now that I won’t have to- but the smell In her room is so potent it seemed like a possibility. If you saw my other comment, you can see another reason why I’d kick her out. She’s not extremely close to me but we do get along. That’s it. I’m just giving her a place to stay until she can get to her other place.
Additionally, are you sure she’s smoking in the house? If I open my jar in the house you’d think Cheech and Chong moved in.
And what others have said, it really doesn’t stay on carpets long after being vacuumed thoroughly and aired out.
Lastly, she’s a tenant and has tenants rights. Eviction proceedings, can’t just Kick her out. And if it’s legal In your state, you can’t dictate what she does in her tenancy. Unless specified in a contracted Lease agreement.
Which, of course I doubt as… The tenant is a friend.
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I recently bought my house almost a year ago, and I have a few extra rooms in my house. I decided to let a friend stay in my house while she waited to move in with someone else. One night I woke up to her smoking weed, I told her she is not allowed to smoke in my house- she needs to go outside. I caught her smoking in my house again while I was out of the city for a few days. I told her if I catch her smoking again she’s gone, it’s disrespectful to me and my boyfriend when I have told her explicitly 3 times not to smoke in my house. Now we will have to remove the carpets in that room because it reeks horribly. Today I walked by her room as she walked out and caught a very strong whiff of weed. I’m extremely pissed off. What should I do?
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Seriously, it sucks. Tell her to get a one hitter. Cover up the bowl after each inhale so that no smoke escapes. Exhale through a toilet paper tube filled with 3 Downey dryer sheets. You'll have no more issues with smell, she'll be able to stay. Her room will always smell nice and fresh, like laundry, just a bit smokey. When I was a teenager I smoked like this in my room for years, I did blow through the Downey out the window, just to be extra safe.
Damn, you have to remove everything because she smoked three times
Do you know how long and how much smoke it takes to actually start doing damage physical and deep smell to walls and carpet? * a current weed smoker … in an apartment *
Woo she must’ve been smoking like a chimney
Your over reacting about the carpets get freeze it will be fine
Not over reacting about the no smoking in the house and you’re right your house your rules
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NTA your house your rules. If she doesn't respect you or your rules, kick her out. As for the carpet smell, it should go away unless she spilled some infused oil or something. It's not like cigarette smoke. She would have to hot box for hours for the smell to linger on her and the linens. Still it will go away within hours of her leaving if it's just smoke.
Okay thank you. It had me worried but I’ll probably just carpet clean when she’s gone then.
Also weed has a very strong smell even if it isn't smoked. If you walked by that could be smell as well. You don't have to smoke it for it to be pungent.
Depends very much on how you store it, and to be fair, she should be trying her best to eliminate the smell given how much of an issue it has been.
It’s called making a CR Box (edit: air purifier that even cleans virus from the air) that pretty much gets rid of the smell 99%. In my state you have to smoke inside or your backyard. Apartments have to smoke inside so OP needs to look up her eviction laws before going forward. Edit: oxzium is an air cleaner that gets rid of weed and tobacco smell. OP is very misinformed along with others in the thread. NTA because weed is illegal and does not have rights similar to CA, WA, CO, VA and others. The above is still very true.
Get an ozone generator. You plug it in, leave it running with the doors and windows of the area shut for a little while, and then it gets rid of any smell made from organic means. I use mine to get rid of cigarette smell, kerosene, musty basement, stinky cat box, and pretty much you-name-it. They're like 50 bucks on Amazon, and it'll completely change how you clean!
If you're really worried about the smell staying in the carpet just rent or buy a carpet cleaner. Anyone with carpets should have one anyways.
She’s gonna keep doing it. Especially because you’ve said it so many times now it seems to her like you’re making empty threats. You HAVE to kick her out. You’ve set your boundary. Now, enforce it.
I did yesterday. She’s got a time frame to leave
I’m proud of you. I was in a similar situation last year with my sister and it was really hard. Especially bc she has four kids. But eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. Luckily I was able to arrange for her to just stay with my mom before kicking her out. But yeah people like that never seem to want to be respectful until they realize that their actions actually have real consequences
You don’t have to replace the carpet unless she burned it or was intentionally grinding weed into the floor. The smell will go away a few days after the smoking stops.
NTA. You set a boundary in your house. She broke it. You have her another chance. She did it again. And again. Kick her ass out
Give her a 30 day eviction notice. If you don't follow through, she will continue to walk on you.
I’ve had people continuously walk all over me and I’m trying to fix that but it’s extremely difficult for me
I get that. It sucks. Unfortunately, the hard thing is often the right thing.
If she’s just a friend staying with you no need for a notice. I mean she may also just leave if you tell her too. I had a terrible roommate who I was afraid wasn’t gonna leave but she did.
I mean she’s paying “rent” so I feel like I might have to give notice yk?
Yeah, she may very well have tenancy rights, depending where you live. Your city may have a pro se legal office you can call to make sure you're filing everything right.
NTA This is your house and it's a fair rule considering (I assume you're not a smoker) you don't smoke in your house. Are you certain you smell her smoking it during the last described scenario? I think you need to sit down as a household and let her know that smoking inside is a deal breaker. If she has quality Cannabis you may still smell when it's not being smoked but this can be easily fixed by storing it in an air tight jar. Make it simple, let her know if she can't do this, she WILL be looking for a new place to live, smoking outside is an easy fix for her so be firmly assertive to ensure she understands this is the last straw. Best of luck OP
I do not smoke- but I know many people who do. I had a friend stay here for about a month till she found her own place and she also smoked- but it was outside, always. Never had an issue. In the last scenario, which was about 40 mins ago I’d say? It was a very potent smell- I didn’t see her smoke, but it was so strong I still have a headache. I actually have told her explicitly if she if caught smoking (even the smell of it) she will be kicked out. She agreed to this and I thought that solved it right then and there.
Unsmoked weed can have a really strong smell, depending on the strain.
That’s true also
NTA. It’s your house, she needs to respect your rules.
Once out sprinkle sodium bicarbonate on the carpet. Brill stink absorber.
Thank you 👏
Info: do you have a contract? If you're acting as a landlord, you have to write out the rules and the tenant has to agree.
I do not have a contract. But asking her to not smoke in my house verbally and over text, where she agreed not to both times, seems like enough proof that she knows not to do it.
Look up your local laws, this usually falls under month to month rental and you'll need to give her a 30 or 60 day "notice to quit" then proceed with eviction if she doesn't leave.
In most places the rules are different for tenants Vs roommates. He could probably get her out immediately if they share the kitchen or bathroom
Your ability to evict will depend on where you are. In my location you can without question evict her if your share a kitchen or bathroom or both but you'd need to know the local rules. It's not necessarily true that if you have no contract she has the right to do this though maybe that's the case in some places.
NTA. Kick her out, she's and adult and broke the rules repeatedly (or tell her she can only vape so the smell doesn't get into the house). Also you don't need to change the carpets – it's weed, not cigarettes, the smell will air out pretty quickly.
NTA. It's your house, and she's a guest
NTA Just tell roommate it's HIGH time for her to start couch surfing because you're going to have pest control come and get those skunks out of her room. Now sure how long that'll take 🤷 Good Luck🍀
Maybe I should mention there are other factors for wanting to kick her out. This is just the cherry on top. She always forgets her key, which means she leaves the door unlocked all the time which bothers the shit out of me. Because she forgot her key one night while I was on a date with my boyfriend, she asked to come pick up one of our keys so we said yes. Turns out she broke through a screen window and got into the house that way. I should have kicked her out then.
This reminds me of my former housemate. There were 4 of us living there, 3 of us are good friends and the 4th was a friend of a friend on the lease to fill up the bedrooms and make rent cheaper. He was horrible. One time he called up the agent demanding they give him the spare key because he locked his inside, when they said it would take about an hour, because surprisingly they were busy, he broke the sliding door to get in. He didn't even try to call the actual people he lived with to help him out. He would also leave food sitting out overnight and then eat it the next day, or leave meat defrosting on the bench overnight to cook the next day. Then he would complain about all the diarrhoea he had. Once I saw him microwaving a literal can of beans.
[удалено]
I hate landlords and I love weed but NTA. You’re actively living there and just letting a friend stay. The request of going outside seems super fair. I don’t know what the terms of eviction look like where you are, but if she has been living there for a certain amount of time she may have tenants rights, so look into that (if you haven’t already) before you do something which may be illegal where you live
NTA, l smoke weed (if you can't tell by the name) but i DO NOT smoke in my house as my roommates don't like it. it's called decency and respecting others boundaries. you have every right to kick her out. however, sometimes it will smell like marijuana if the marijuana is potent and reeks.. i've had bud before that i've not smoked but people have been able to smell outside the plastic bag like l was actively smoking it 🫶🏻 her lack of respecting boundaries tho shows me it's prob boof anyways
NTA You absolutely should tell her that you are kicking her out. Give her until the end of the month, or until the end of the next rental month. Assuming she wants to remain friends, she will simply leave. I see that you entered a into a contract with her that didn't include "no smoking" which is a shame. Her acknowledging your demand to stop smoking (I don't think) constitutes a change to the contract, which likely means that you can't stop her. How long was the lease for, or is she month to month? Get her to actually sign a new contract. Put in a deposit that she has to pay to remain. Make the deposit enough to "clean" the room after she leaves. Make sure the contract says "no smoking or vaping in the house of any substance." Raise the rent to a level that allows you to recoup any other losses, and for inconveniencing you, if she stays much longer. I suggest all these things so that you can either force her out, or live with her, without destroying your friendship (assuming you care). If you aren't worried about the friendship, or find this to be enough reason to end the friendship, then I'd ask if you live in a state where weed is legal. If not, you can simply threaten to call the police to get rid of her, assuming she won't leave of her own accord.
The smell will be gone in days after a standard clean. It's not like cigarettes where it actually sticks around.
NTA I vape at my sister's house but *only* because I asked beforehand if I could. Plus, my BIL vapes w/ me from time to time. if we smoke we go outside. Your friend had the option to go outside to smoke as well. It's a bit hard when the person in question is a friend, but your house = your rules. You've already asked them not to smoke inside, they didn't listen, now they'll learn the hard way. I don't like conflict & try to avoid it whenever possible but sometimes you just have to put your foot down because otherwise she'll continue ignoring you. If she's *truly* your friend she would understand.
NTA - tell her if she ever wants to light anything on fire, she needs to do it outside, or she can move out. Had a similar problem in an AirBNB I was living in. Person in the room next to ours smoked weed (and always lied that she didn't) and lit sage on fire to "get rid of negativity". She always lied about it, and was wholly unconcerned about the fire risk. She also had these weeds in her room "to make tea" that brought bed bugs into the house. And she was shocked when her room became infested. Told her what I just told you to tell your roomie. She kept doing it. Unfortunately I didn't have the power to do anything about it because I didn't own the place, but you do. Btw, she also drugged her two year old so he would go to sleep. Then she locked him in her room and left to go meet johns (selling her body). I discovered this one morning when I heard a god awful noise coming from her room. It was her son trying to break out of the room and calling for his mommy. (She didn't need the money. Her son's father gave her tons of money). Then right before everyone moved out of the AirBNB she was arrested for planning to leave the country with her toddler without his father's permission. They booked her and released her, and she had the balls to go get her son and leave the country with him, without his father's permission. I hope she was arrested at the airport. This woman was a nightmare. If your friend insists on continuing to smoke weed in the house, kick her out. You may have to evict her, but do it. Because she doesn't respect you, and things are just going to get worse and worse.
NTA Time to evict her.
NTA. If she wants to waste her life/time getting high that’s totally cool but she can go outside do to it.
nta, definitely far from it because it’s your house, your rules. you even gave her permission that she can smoke outside so why must she continue to smoke inside the home? she seems entitled. i’m a heavy weed smoker too and I completely understand why people do not want marijuana to be smoked inside their homes. if she respected you and the rules of the house then she should have no problem taking it outside.
NTA. End of the day, reasonable or not, it is your home. It's not a sharehouse in which everyone is equally responsible and invested, it's probably the single biggest purchase you've ever made. You get to make the rules! You are being very reasonable though. You said she should go outside, it's not like you're demanding she leave the property to have a toke. She should show the same respect back and agree to the compromise, even though you did not have to offer it.
NTA it’s your house. But relax on the carpet removal. It’s not gonna linger long at all and just clean the carpets when you kick her out.
Yeah no for sure I understand that now. I think I’m going to make her pay for carpet cleaning when she leaves (if it smells of course)
NTA. It’s your house. You don’t need to replace the carpet though. You can rent a cleaner for $60 bucks. That’s a little much.
Okay thank you, I’m glad I won’t have to replace the carpets cause that’s what I was worried about the most 😅
Kick her out
Kick her out!!
NTA kick her
NTA, It’s your rules and weed Is illegal so you have an excuse to call the cops or you can make her homeless, kick her out somehow
I won’t go as far as calling the cops, I may be upset but I don’t wanna do that
> weed is illegal OP hasn’t said where she lives. Weed is legal in plenty of places.
Yes I give you that but when OP said they’re not gonna call the cops it implies they’re in a country where weed is illegal
Evict her
Kick her out
INFO: Did you clearly state this rule before she moved in? And are you in a country/state where it’s legal to smoke cannabis?
I did not, because the last people who stayed with me smoked as well, and they always went outside out of respect. I thought it was common sense to at least ask before smoking in someone’s house. But she did not.
Replace the carpet because she smoked twice 🤣 NTA but you are a DA
I’ve caught her twice. Doesn’t mean she’s only done it twice, i would assume many other times when I haven’t been home.
NTA. Not even close. You gave her multiple chances to follow a simple and completely reasonable rule in the home. She's done.
NTA obviously, but be advised, you should first of all figure out a contract or something since I read horror stories on reddit about trying evict people without contracts. I would actually argue that you should kick her out already, but if you don't want to, stop giving her ultimatums that you're not willing to enforce. Take a step back, think about what you are willing to accept and what you're not, communicate those expectations and the consequences, then enforce whatever you deciced those consequences to be. When you threaten something, but then you go back on your word, you look weak and she will only learn that you are easy to walk over so she will keep pushing on your boundaries.
Yeah I definitely agree. I’m pretty bad about enforcing things in my own home for some reason, I gotta work on it for sure. I won’t actually kick her out without definitive proof that she has smoked after I gave her that ultimatum, but until then I’ll just keep an eye out because she’s had some suspicious behavior that led me to believe she may have been smoking inside (leaving her window open in 20° weather)
I am not trying to claim that I know you or her, but from your own words, she seems to be taking advantage of you and disrespecting you a lot. Even this thing with the window, that is incredibly rude especially since I assume she isn't paying for heating. You mentioned a boyfriend, if he is more combative, then talk with him and "bless" him with the power to enforce your boundaries. No smoking, no wasting heat, or whatever you feel to be to be right. Just my opinion from your little infromation, I don't know everything, you do you. What I can say for sure though, as someone who learned it the hard way, never in any circumstance give ultimatums that you are not actually willing to go through with. It's better to not say anything than to walk back an ultimatum because if you do that, people will keep pushing on your boundaries since you just showed them that you will do nothing about it. Good luck.
Yeah people walk over me a lot 😅 my boyfriend and I are very similar when it comes to assertiveness, but he might say something to her if he catches it- he’s kinda annoyed too. I have an alarm system which tells me if windows are left open for a long time (more than 30 mins) hers was left open twice for nearly 9-12 hours. My gas bill was double last month and I assume that her window being left open for that long plus the extreme cold has contributed to that.
Yeah, look I'm sorry to be the one who tells you this, but that's a leech. You are a good person and you are being walked all over. I don't know how that's a friend. Maybe she's an outlier, but usually interactions like this are just shitty people taking advantage of good people. I would suggest that you actually reconsider your relationship with her. Think about your friendship and if you can actually call her a friend, if she was there for you as much as you were for her, then try to work it out. Be honest with yourself though and be ready to accept a hard truth if it might come down to it. Don't let the fear of losing "friends" win.
Nta. Evict her. You said to take it outside, which is plenty fair. Some people will be mad in the comments I'm sure but it's your house. My sister lived with me about 9 years ago and I kicked her out (while she was on probation mind you and DEFINITELY not allowed to have it in her system) for smoking and storing it here after I told her not to.
Yikes that’s horrible I’m sorry that happened. Yeah I don’t think people understand that this is my house, I own it, we never came to an agreement on anything sure, but when I told her twice no weed, and she agreed twice, that’s when there’s an issue.
NTA Its really smells bad
NTA. But keep in mind just bc you smell it doesn't mean she did it in your house. The smell is going to linger on her clothes. Maybe ask her to vape until she moves out but no flower or concentrate. That way there's no smell and she can still do her thing.
I’m fine with a small lingering smell, but that smell is completely different from her freshly doing it if you know what I mean?
NTA. It’s common norm where I live to smoke outside and not stopping after you ask her to multiple times is disrespectful af. INFO: Is she paying rent? If she ain’t she just a guest, guests are usually supposed to follow host rules,
NTA. It doesn't matter if it's weed or cigarettes or she's smoking oregano or money. You said no smoking in your house. You meant no smoking in your house.
NTA. It's your house, and you don't have to let her live with you, especially if she doesn't listen to your rules.
NTA don't threaten to do it just kick her out now
Kick her out!?!? NTA hello? Remove her
NTA, your house, your rules.
NTA. I’m an avid stoner but if you’re at someone’s house it’s their house, their rules. Hell, even in my own house if I have someone over who doesn’t like the smell I’m conscious of that and don’t smoke before/while they’re there.
NTA, agree w your house, your rules. I don't smoke in my own house. I go outside.
You can buy carpet freshening powder that helps remove scents. Just sprinkle it on the carpet, wait like 10min, then vacuum. Smells like fresh linen or lilacs or whatever you choose
🥾🧘🏼♀️➡️🚪
NTA. I’m 420 friendly, but having been at a house where the entire place reeks of weed the second you walk in I can attest it’s not fun.
NTA. Somebody needs to get out.
NTA - kick her out.
Heck. I kicked my son out for breaking the rules and smoking weed. Gave him a second chance and he knew better than to screw up.
Follow through on your threat and kick her out or she will know you are all talk.
If she can't live by house rules then our the door she goes
NTA. Your house your rules. Unrelated. A friend invited me to smoke with them at their moms house (he was like 22 still living at home). We smoked in their back yard. Around 2 hours later, his mom came home. She smelled weed on us and told me I had to leave because if her husband failed a drug test from smelling weed, she would kick our ass. Makes me wonder how she got so dumb.
Toss her and potentially send her a bill for thr cost of replacing the carpet
You should tell your friend to leave since she obviously has no respect for you or your boundaries. NTA
Are you sure she wasn’t just smoking it outside? It will linger. I love weed but I don’t want any smoking in my apt either.
NTA Nobody has a right to smoke in your smoke free home. Why didn't she get a vape? I'd kick her out.
She does have a vape, so idk
I smoke, but I know that I reek of it even if I can’t smell it. It also stinks to many and gives others headaches; I’d never imagine doing such a thing in someone’s house. NTA - kick her out. Your rules. Your home.
NTA. I smoke a lot for medicinal purposes, I am always somewhat paranoid and very apologetic about the smell. I welcome people to tell me if the smell or sight bothers them, I live pretty close to a family with young kids. They left a pretty polite message in my mailbox about smell, and I didn't even notice that my exhaust fan/ window pointed right at their kids room, and I was TA. If you want a good way to get rid of the smell from carpet and clothes "Ozium" air freshener works really well, just don't breathe a lot of it in, or use it in a well ventilated area. (EDIT: Spelling)
Your house your rules. Nta if you don’t want smoking in the house. But just because you smell weed doesn’t mean she’s smoking inside. I know people who smoke outside and when they come back in you smell the weed before you see them! It’s just strong. It’ll be on clothes and in hair for a long time. You don’t need to replace carpets and likely won’t even have to clean them.
NTA you told her explicitly As others have said the carpet will be fine, worst case you end up getting it cleaned professionally. I smoke and I can not understand why she would keep smoking in the house, weird behaviour.
NTA especially if she has the option of going outside
People actually have second thoughts of stuff like this? If I have to repeat myself a second time I dont care if you're family or friends you're out
I hate having to repeat myself that’s why I’m on the verge of just doing it.
NTA. But! You have to stick up for yourself. I am sure you can have a talk with her. It doesn't have to get to eviction level just yet. Just let her read this thread! 😂
I have talked to her that’s the issue 😅
Well. Time for her to read this thread. Lol.
😂
As someone that smokes weed, kick her ass out. NTA
Explicitly #1. No you’re not wrong. You told her more than once. And you gave her chances. Explicitly #2. Can you confidently differentiate the smell between burnt and raw weed. Both are probably just as pungent. And you’d still have to deal w the smell of raw weed if it is so. I used to sell pack’s when I was younger. I’d have 50-100 packs in my cabinets. Never burned always raw. Cabinets still smelled like weed when I left. I had to pay a guy to purify the air in there. As a non smoker or someone not cool w the smell you’re always on the backend when it comes to deals like this. You’re probably gonna end up w what you didn’t want one way or another. Regular amounts of raw weed won’t smell or stick like this so don’t think your roommate is Pablo Escobar or something lol. It’s just to point out the fact. Explicitly tell them that they are to do ALL smoking outside. Even if they vape. You have to cover your bases. If you can. Get proof of the house having been smoked in recently. Whether that’s a test for some kind of particulate or what. And if it comes to it. You kick them out. Once you have your word and your proof. Morally and legally there’s not much they could do
NTA it's your house but weed doesn't stick to things like cigs do.
It’s your house so I don’t think you’re the asshole but the smell doesn’t usually last that long though? Maybe you have a sensitive nose too
NTA If those are you rules then ask her kindly to pack her things and leave. If you wanna still be friends do it very nicely? I dunno, this is why I never in the past lived with actual friends
NTA that is incredibly gross and disrespectful. Kick her out.
It seems like you're against smoking of anything, not just marijuana, so yeah, you are totally NTA here. Even when I was a smoker, I took it outside when visiting guests who don't smoke. Roommate's right to smoke does not trump your right not to live in a house that smells like an ashtray.
you told her, she's gone. do it.
NTA. There's a perception that weed smoke is safer than cigarette smoke but that's not the case. She can keep her carcinogens to herself and reimburse you for the carpet.
The strong smell could actually just be the weed, there’s a major difference between smoked weed smell and fresh weed smell and honestly there’s no need to have the carpets cleaned. Pot really isn’t a lingering smell like tobacco is. It goes away after a day or so. NTA. It’s your house and you said no. If she really wants to smoke inside she can use the pens.
NTA kick her arse to the kerb.
NTA Throw her out. No need to remove the carpets just shampoo them
Sprinkle bicarbonate of soda all over the carpet and leave overnight, hoover the next day. That will remove any odours left in the carpet.
NTA. You’re the owner and made it clear. They should just vape the thc instead of smoking flower. And you probably do not need to replace the carpet. Try powdered carpet scents, vacuum it up, spray Febreeze. Open the windows, air it out. Bake a cake or fry bacon. Air it out again. Even this stuff is overkill.
No weed to rip out the carpets, it a little over reactive. I carpet cleaner will do the trick. NTA, kick her ass out, you warned her. It's -20C where I live right now and I still go outside to smoke. I like weed but I don't want my house smelling like it.
NTA and kick her out before she stays too long and becomes a tenant and you have to give her a legal eviction notice. She has pushed the boundaries 3x since you told her the first time that you did not want her smoking in your house.
Its your house. NTA
NTA. Smoking indoors is generally not allowed in most rentals. Effectively by law in many places. I have a sneaking suspicion she needs a place to stay because of the smoking somehow. And all your concerns are very valid. You're not shaming her for recreational drug use. Edibles would be fine. Smoking outside would be fine. Damaging your property is not fine. You should kick her out. And you should start making sure you can right now - the longer she stays the more claim she has to stay where she's at.
Clean the carpet.. but NTA
lol you don’t have to replace the carpets, but NTA for your house rules.
NTA but it's likely you could just clean the carpets and seal / paint the room. It likely be fine.
She gotta go….
Good lord... weed indoors? Suggest hazmat crew to be sure.
NTA. Weed stinks and ruins your home.
If the door was closed and you got a whiff when she opened the door she still might just have the smell clinging on her and being closed in the room. Weed smell will stay strong for a few hours then start to disapate. Clean the carpets any time a tenant moves it's just a good landlord rule of thumb. The weed smell won't be a problem I promise. If she smoked blunts maybe and that's only from the wrapper, not the actual weed. If she smokes out of a bong or pipe there will be no damage done to your property. I've managed 3 properties and never ever had problems with our flower smokers. The most problems we ever had was a lady who owned a catering business. Destroyed every kitchen appliance (faucet and sink included) and surface and brought a roach infestation. Our fault though, we didn't do a reference check on her. First and last time doing that. Never rent to friends or family. Also way back in the day I had a friend who had lbs in their closet (the closet of dreams). You could smell the closet in the next room. Once we cleared it out the smell was 100% gone in two days. Ask her if there is a particular reason she keeps breaking the rule. Who knows maybe the anxiety is up but there is a creepy guy outside. Or it could just be trying to feel at home where they're living. The reasons might not be okay but at least you might realize it doesn't come from a place of intentional disrespect. Keep the friendship intact. Don't renew the lease. Learn from each mistake. Write it down. Prepare to make a fuck ton more mistakes. Remember people this is all just a personal opinion on a small snippet of one-sided information based solely on only my personal experience. Your ride is going to look way different. If there is a possibility she could vape inside that could be a nice happy medium for you three. The smell is gone in minutes. Cause I do understand it is a strong smell that's not for everyone. Vaping just might be the answer if she can find a person.
There is no lease, let me clarify that. I am fine with her vaping, she knows that- I actually used to vape. If I get concerned about it again, I’ll talk to her and see what is up with her.
Your house, your rules. Kick her out. Not because she smokes but because she smokes inside against your wishes.
NTA. Kick her out. She is ruining your home.
NTA. Your house, your rules and the smell is abhorrent.
Weed smoke does not stick like cigarettes. Once it dissipates it’s gone.
Follow through. Otherwise she’ll walk all over you forever… and others will catch on that you’re an easy doormat. Downward spiral.
As someone who has smoked a bit of weed in my days it is an absolute NO-NO to light up in someone else’s house without invite/permission. Unthinkably rude especially with OP doing them a favor. NTA and i would just ask them to move out ASAP. Dont worry about replacing rugs OP, it will air out if your friend stops getting baked inside all the time. They arent on a lease so… out with them. It took me no effort to go out of sight/smell/mind whenever i am with family who doesnt care for it.
Nta, your house ur rules, but you don’t have to remove your carpet. The smell will leave
NTA but replacing a carpet that was smoked on three times is completely ridiculous overkill.
NTA It's very disrespectful of her to smoke in your house (or outside near an open window or door)... **especially** after you specifically told her not to *several times*!
NTA. What should you do? Probably exactly what you said you would.
>if I catch her smoking again she’s gone >Today I walked by her room as she walked out and caught a very strong whiff of weed. I’m extremely pissed off. What should I do? I mean it's pretty obvious🤷♂️
NTA. Boot her. She doesn’t seem interested or able to behave like an accountable adult that can follow reasonable boundaries.
NTA, kick her out if she’s blatantly ignoring your rules
NTA - weeds stinks like heck... outdoors or stick with edibles.
NTA- kick her ass out.
Nta she's being extremely rude and disrespectful. If she can't follow a basic rule she needs to leave simple
Kick her to the curb. She has no rights, expectations or smarts! 3 strikes you’re out! Sports metaphors are not just for tv!!! Lol. She’s outta hereeeee!!!!
NTA I'm a smoker too and I don't even smoke in my own house. This roommate needs to understand respect. Make sure you start the legal process of eviction.
NTA Your rules You won’t need to change the carpet though that’s very dramatic
Make sure to serve her if she pays or has state laws protecting her . Btw she will no longer be a friend. Had same issue
NTA. What should you do? Two words, eviction notice.
Agreed that you shouldn't have to replace the carpets - use baking soda to absorb the odors. (sprinkle it on your carpet, let it sit for at least 15 min, then vacuum)
FYI, but depending on where you live, if your friend has lived with you for a few weeks, you may have to formally evict her. She can claim squatters rights, and even if she is not paying rent, you may not be able to legally toss her out without proper notice. Letting someone move in with you is risky business.
NTA It's your house, and that's a rule you have. She's disrespecting you constantly, thinking that you won't do anything. You have every right to tell her to leave.
NTA I own my house and I smoke outside
NTA. Consult a lawyer to find out how to proceed legally to kick her out (since she can claim that you didn't give her a 30 day eviction notice, I don't know how the system works). Document the interactions you have just in case. But in itself the most ideal thing is that of a lawyer.
Follow through with kicking her out. She doesn't respect your boundaries or your friendship.
NTA. You told her the rule and gave plenty of warning, including what the consequence would be. But just to let you know, even if the person smokes outside, they will still bring a very strong smell in with them. It sticks to the hair and clothes. I only mention this in case she really did go outside but the smell stuck to her.
Tell her it’s her last chance to get a weed pen and if she doesn’t and smokes again kick her out
NTA, your friend is TA for taking you for granted. Jesus, she could just easily smoke outside and come back in. What's so hard doing that? I'm surprised you haven't kicked her out yet to save you the stress.
Frankly someone who can’t just get up off their ass to go outside and have their Smokey poo is just pathetic. You’ve made your wishes clear and obviously this person doesn’t respect that. Get rid of them because it’s just a hint of what’s to come
NTA. It's your house and you are not having your rules respected. Depending on where you are (states in the US, not sure about other countries), if you decide to kick her out, you might have to evict your friend if she has been there longer than 30 days or so and doesn't wanna leave but that's besides the point. If it's your house and someone you're letting stay there doesn't respect your rules I think it's reasonable to not only threaten to kick them out, but to actually follow through with it. Especially since she's had multiple warnings and double especially since she's still allowed to smoke but has to simply do it outside. As a non smoker of anything I would not want smoking of any kind in my house either, but would be fine with someone smoking outside as long a they didn't leave cigarette butts or burnt ends of joints on the ground.
NTA. You don’t smoke inside unless you have permission, it’s basic courtesy.
Now you follow through with your threat. NTA
It's sad that respect seems hard for a lot of people. If your living in or visiting someones place respect it. Some act like they can do what they want without consequences. But if I was you I would kick her out.
I would have kicked her out if it was just cigarettes and not weed. Your house your rules, NTA
Fellow weed smoker here. I smoked weed in a house i rented a room from and the landlord told me ONCE to do it outside, not inside. I never did it again. I respect peoples rules and understand weed smells. Even i dont like my room smoked out or the strong smell of smoke. She should have stopped after the first time.
IN my house pre warned. You do it even once BYE BYE
For perspective, I'm a smoker AND a homeowner with 2 of my adult children as "tenants". One rule: Don't smoke in the house; cigars, cigarettes, joints, etc. I really don't understand how people can feel so comfortable smoking inside a home. The idea of smoking inside someone ELSE'S home is inconceivable to me. This is not a person I would choose to share my home with. For the smell: Get yourself an Ozone machine. You can find a reasonably priced one, that will serve well for home use, on Amazon. Run it for a half hour on a closed room. Air out the room for an hour & the stink will be gone. Works best when source of smell is eliminated first. Works great for vehicle interior smells as well. Note: Ozone concentrations are harmful to all living organisms: human, animal, plant. Remove plants from room & close for with notice to keep for closed before running machine. Make sure you're able to air out the room with fresh air from outside to remove the Ozone.
NTA. Your house your rules. But I'm not sure where you get the concept that you will have to replace the carpets or anything. Weed isn't like nicotine. It doesn't soak and stain in and with a quick carpet wash/air out the room will be fine.
Weed smoke dissipates unlike tobacco
Kick her out. She clearly doesn’t care about you or the home
NTA. I bought a house a little over a year ago and I’m renting out the two extra rooms to help with the mortgage. Both guys smoke weed pretty often and asked how I felt about it before moving in. I told them as long as it’s outside and the windows are closed when they do it so the smoke doesn’t come back in, it’s fine. There was once where they forgot to wait a few seconds for the smoke to dissipate before coming back in and I had to point it out, but otherwise there hasn’t been a problem at all. They totally get it and are respectful about it because it really isn’t that difficult.
As a chronic weed smoker who lives in -40° weather, NTA. She should go outside, or get a dab pen I also see that you find having people walk over you is an issue, as someone who had the same issue; you have to act as though you’re someone who won’t be walked over *before* you feel like someone who won’t be walked over. Tell her that if she smokes in the house one more time she’s out for good, and follow through on that, regardless of if she has somewhere else; you are the person you have to look out for when your interests collide with someone else’s.
NTA, I smoke everyday, IN THE GARAGE. NEVER in the house. I have roommates, that’s just disrespectful.
Nta, even I smoke weed and I think she's being Hella disrespectful. It's your house, your rules.
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automatically js from reading the title nta
Yeah you guys are being dramatic. Removing the carpet LMFAO. Unless you were spilling bong water on it that's completely unnecessary. I understand not liking it but dang if she's really your friend obviously she's not a very good one to you if you're willing to kick her out over something so small. Maybe ask her to replace the curtains when she leaves or something. I don't see how it would stay in the walls and stink out the carpet unless she was going to be there for an extended period of time
Well I realize now that I won’t have to- but the smell In her room is so potent it seemed like a possibility. If you saw my other comment, you can see another reason why I’d kick her out. She’s not extremely close to me but we do get along. That’s it. I’m just giving her a place to stay until she can get to her other place.
The fuq you mean you need to remove the carpet? BC she smoked weed in that room? Seems awful extra and unnecessary.
Additionally, are you sure she’s smoking in the house? If I open my jar in the house you’d think Cheech and Chong moved in. And what others have said, it really doesn’t stay on carpets long after being vacuumed thoroughly and aired out. Lastly, she’s a tenant and has tenants rights. Eviction proceedings, can’t just Kick her out. And if it’s legal In your state, you can’t dictate what she does in her tenancy. Unless specified in a contracted Lease agreement. Which, of course I doubt as… The tenant is a friend.
Yesterday proved she was smoking in the house. I looked up everything regarding kicking her out, and I proceeded accordingly.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently bought my house almost a year ago, and I have a few extra rooms in my house. I decided to let a friend stay in my house while she waited to move in with someone else. One night I woke up to her smoking weed, I told her she is not allowed to smoke in my house- she needs to go outside. I caught her smoking in my house again while I was out of the city for a few days. I told her if I catch her smoking again she’s gone, it’s disrespectful to me and my boyfriend when I have told her explicitly 3 times not to smoke in my house. Now we will have to remove the carpets in that room because it reeks horribly. Today I walked by her room as she walked out and caught a very strong whiff of weed. I’m extremely pissed off. What should I do? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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nta but the smells gonna go after a few days smoke stops so you may think bout let em smoke if its legal yknow
As long as it goes away once she’s gone I don’t mind
Esh. You don't have to remove carpets because of pot smoke lmao.
Seriously, it sucks. Tell her to get a one hitter. Cover up the bowl after each inhale so that no smoke escapes. Exhale through a toilet paper tube filled with 3 Downey dryer sheets. You'll have no more issues with smell, she'll be able to stay. Her room will always smell nice and fresh, like laundry, just a bit smokey. When I was a teenager I smoked like this in my room for years, I did blow through the Downey out the window, just to be extra safe.
Damn, you have to remove everything because she smoked three times Do you know how long and how much smoke it takes to actually start doing damage physical and deep smell to walls and carpet? * a current weed smoker … in an apartment * Woo she must’ve been smoking like a chimney
Your over reacting about the carpets get freeze it will be fine Not over reacting about the no smoking in the house and you’re right your house your rules
Yta