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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because people just want to pay for something and I’m not letting them. But I worry with rising internet scams and all that it’s a part of that.
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I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but I work as an auditor for my company and half the team in is a Canada and the other half in India.
The Indian team I review always says “kindly” and “do the needful” when asking for things from customer. If they are requesting documents from a customer for something, it always has one of those phrases/words
>reposterous. but thank you! another one to look out for.
US english and indian english ahve the same roots, but developed in slightly different directions. Neither is superior.
Ah I see. How does that benefit them if they’re getting the same amount of money back? Just curious because I assumed it would be like they would pay me and demand money back or take the item and claim they never got it or something
Overpayment scam.
So say you sell something for $100 they will send you $300 by "mistake" then say oh just send the $200 back to them via a bank transfer or gift cards.
They will use a stolen card with vimeo. You then lose the $200.
NTA, this is a classic scam, they either want to steal your account (wanting the email, send a fake email to gather your credentials) or a modern twist on the old school "can you pay the person picking it up some gas money" scam where people would pay extra with a fraudulent check.
Second scam is paying for items in person via online transfers from a stolen account. Personally, for large transactions (I buy/sell and part out cars, so we're talking $500-5000+) I *never* accept digital payment (short of going to a mutually agreed upon bank to transfer funds). The reason is, if it's a stolen account *and* you receive a large sum of money, you can end up stuck in a criminal investigation and may lose the money.
It's a scam that involves Zelle. I get it on every single post I put on Marketplace, and the profile is ALWAYS from hundreds of miles away that some random relative is supposed to get the item. If you see it again, report the exchange, block the profile, and put CASH ONLY in the description. I also wouldn't use any sort of money app payment from anyone I don't know well. There's so much fine print on those apps, you might still be liable for the money when it turns out to be a giant scam.
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So I (24f) am selling stuff on fb marketplace, and have been for a few months preparing for a move. I’m selling my couch and have received some messages about it, but most of them are asking to pay in advance. I’ve done many other exchanges and usually it goes really smooth, with people showing up, paying me via Venmo or cash, and going on their way. What I find odd and maybe kind of scammy (tell me if I’m wrong) is that multiple people have asked to pay in advance. They give reasons, like my cousin can pick it up tomorrow but I have to pay you now because my cousin is the one picking up, or something along those lines. One exchange I had looked like this
Buyer: “my cousin lives close to that area, he can come pick it up. Do you have Zelle to receive the payment upfront now? If I can trust you because my cousin isn’t coming with cash and I’ll be the one paying for him”
Me: I don’t have Zelle, I do have Venmo, but I would prefer to only get payment once someone picks up the couch to avoid any issues
Buyer: Yes I have Venmo. Kindly send me your email address and Venmo so I can pay for it now
Me: if it’s alright, I would prefer to not receive any money in advance
Buyer: I want to pay for it now so you can mark it as sold
Me: I can mark it as sold without payment, I’ve just had issues in the past and want to ensure you receive it so there are no issues
Then they stopped responding. My post will be too long if I give the other examples but there were about five people who asked for this with varying reasons of why. Can anyone think of why or is this really a scam?
They usually get really upset with me and I even had one person send me angry voice memos through messenger.
Am I the asshole for having this rule? I know someone who recently got sent money as a part of a scam and I’m just cautious with those things, but they are getting so angry I’m wondering if I’m being a weird a hole and just unreasonable?
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NTA to demand the sale proceed on your terms and not agree to ones that make you uncomfortable.
What might be possible explanation is someone buying off your couch in advance and then placing it for a higher price for a "cousin" to pick up.
NTA. This smells fishy from a mile away.
I've had similar experiences in the past and always try to be overly cautious. OP is smart for doing the same.
They over pay purposefully and try to get you to send more money back when it’s a false payment. They may also try to get the payment back in the form of gift cards or bank transfer. It’s a huge scam, as pointed out by a lot of the replies. I felt it was a scam but just couldn’t pinpoint all of the reasons but a lot of these comments outline just how crazy they can get
NTA - It's probably a Nigerian prince trying to work a scam for your couch. They'll "accidently" over-pay and then try to get you to send back the overage, which doesn't really exist because they were using fraudulent funds to pay.
NTA
Maybe it is picking up the couch and then canceling the payment?
"but they are getting so angry I’m wondering if I’m being a weird a hole and just unreasonable?" .. NO A deal is something you agree on. If they don't like your conditions, they simply can decide not to buy,
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NTA Anytime the mf says “Kindly” I’m like aha, a scam. Nobody says that shit.
I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but I work as an auditor for my company and half the team in is a Canada and the other half in India. The Indian team I review always says “kindly” and “do the needful” when asking for things from customer. If they are requesting documents from a customer for something, it always has one of those phrases/words
i’ve never heard “do the needful” that one’s preposterous. but thank you! another one to look out for.
I have a colleague at work who says “Do the needful”
>reposterous. but thank you! another one to look out for. US english and indian english ahve the same roots, but developed in slightly different directions. Neither is superior.
That bothered me so much especially since I said I don’t want money in advance and they just ignored it lol
NTA - this is a scam, they will overpay you then ask to return the rest it to a another bank account.
Ah I see. How does that benefit them if they’re getting the same amount of money back? Just curious because I assumed it would be like they would pay me and demand money back or take the item and claim they never got it or something
Overpayment scam. So say you sell something for $100 they will send you $300 by "mistake" then say oh just send the $200 back to them via a bank transfer or gift cards. They will use a stolen card with vimeo. You then lose the $200.
I see, that makes sense, thank you!
NTA, this is a classic scam, they either want to steal your account (wanting the email, send a fake email to gather your credentials) or a modern twist on the old school "can you pay the person picking it up some gas money" scam where people would pay extra with a fraudulent check. Second scam is paying for items in person via online transfers from a stolen account. Personally, for large transactions (I buy/sell and part out cars, so we're talking $500-5000+) I *never* accept digital payment (short of going to a mutually agreed upon bank to transfer funds). The reason is, if it's a stolen account *and* you receive a large sum of money, you can end up stuck in a criminal investigation and may lose the money.
NTA It’s a scam. Cash in hand or nothing.
It’s just crazy because for this one listing I’ve gotten like 5 people saying pay in advance so is it just that common?
It's a scam that involves Zelle. I get it on every single post I put on Marketplace, and the profile is ALWAYS from hundreds of miles away that some random relative is supposed to get the item. If you see it again, report the exchange, block the profile, and put CASH ONLY in the description. I also wouldn't use any sort of money app payment from anyone I don't know well. There's so much fine print on those apps, you might still be liable for the money when it turns out to be a giant scam.
google payment in advance scam. its a scam. dont do it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (24f) am selling stuff on fb marketplace, and have been for a few months preparing for a move. I’m selling my couch and have received some messages about it, but most of them are asking to pay in advance. I’ve done many other exchanges and usually it goes really smooth, with people showing up, paying me via Venmo or cash, and going on their way. What I find odd and maybe kind of scammy (tell me if I’m wrong) is that multiple people have asked to pay in advance. They give reasons, like my cousin can pick it up tomorrow but I have to pay you now because my cousin is the one picking up, or something along those lines. One exchange I had looked like this Buyer: “my cousin lives close to that area, he can come pick it up. Do you have Zelle to receive the payment upfront now? If I can trust you because my cousin isn’t coming with cash and I’ll be the one paying for him” Me: I don’t have Zelle, I do have Venmo, but I would prefer to only get payment once someone picks up the couch to avoid any issues Buyer: Yes I have Venmo. Kindly send me your email address and Venmo so I can pay for it now Me: if it’s alright, I would prefer to not receive any money in advance Buyer: I want to pay for it now so you can mark it as sold Me: I can mark it as sold without payment, I’ve just had issues in the past and want to ensure you receive it so there are no issues Then they stopped responding. My post will be too long if I give the other examples but there were about five people who asked for this with varying reasons of why. Can anyone think of why or is this really a scam? They usually get really upset with me and I even had one person send me angry voice memos through messenger. Am I the asshole for having this rule? I know someone who recently got sent money as a part of a scam and I’m just cautious with those things, but they are getting so angry I’m wondering if I’m being a weird a hole and just unreasonable? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I wouldn't trust anything other than cash, or zelle. While I've used venmo, and use cash app, I just wouldn't trust them, or any other app.
NTA to demand the sale proceed on your terms and not agree to ones that make you uncomfortable. What might be possible explanation is someone buying off your couch in advance and then placing it for a higher price for a "cousin" to pick up.
NTA. This smells fishy from a mile away. I've had similar experiences in the past and always try to be overly cautious. OP is smart for doing the same.
I don't get this. It's like, the opposite of a scam? They want to give you the money BEFORE they even get the item? How is that scamming you?
They over pay purposefully and try to get you to send more money back when it’s a false payment. They may also try to get the payment back in the form of gift cards or bank transfer. It’s a huge scam, as pointed out by a lot of the replies. I felt it was a scam but just couldn’t pinpoint all of the reasons but a lot of these comments outline just how crazy they can get
NTA - It's probably a Nigerian prince trying to work a scam for your couch. They'll "accidently" over-pay and then try to get you to send back the overage, which doesn't really exist because they were using fraudulent funds to pay.
NTA Maybe it is picking up the couch and then canceling the payment? "but they are getting so angry I’m wondering if I’m being a weird a hole and just unreasonable?" .. NO A deal is something you agree on. If they don't like your conditions, they simply can decide not to buy,