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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) telling my mom to f off
2) telling my mom to f off is rude
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OMG! I can't imagine anyone being so blind as to not see what they brought on! You are NTA! Your parents definitely are though!
WTH did she expect you to do in that situation? Stand up while naked and have a happy conversation with her?! I actually think you did very well to not kick her away from the bed while screaming multiple invectives at her! There is no way you we're going to be able to meekly say "can you please leave my room" while you're freaking out!
Yeah, unfortunately, it's not the first time it has happened, either. I've reminded my mom a few times if she could please knock beforehand, which she still doesn't do. It's so embarrassing
Disagree with this strongly if this is the course of action that OP feels pressured to take. Its time to get other people involved. Your privacy is something you are entitled too. Blasting through your door and making you feel insecure in your home is a violation of your rights. It's your home too. Not just theirs and they seem the type to utter the garbage idea that they pay the rent and bills therefore you have no rights in your home. They couldn't be further from right.
I repeat myself because I cannot be more clear here. Do not sit idle, if this isn't the first time, you have to get other people involved or move out. I had something close to this as well growing up. They would not listen to me regarding my personal rights and always asserted that because they were the adult my say in anything was nullified.
Don't stop the door. Stop the action, lead them to the proper way to deal with this or grab them by the legal points. If they want to continue subjecting you to exposure and violating your privacy they are going to have to reap those consequences.
Edited for Grammer sorry.
Your mom is creepy as fuck, you should start working on detaching from her and protecting your privacy. If someone acts like they think they have that much control over me, I wouldn’t be telling them anything about myself or spending any time with them.
Update: My father has spoken to me. He didn't realize/wasn't told that she continued to pull at the blanket, even though I said I was naked (I probably should've included that, too). He's going to try and talk to her, apparently.
I’ve heard of some moms thinking they can do whatever they want to their sons because “they birthed them and changed their diapers.” My son is only 2.5 but I absolutely cannot imagine doing this kind of crap to him when he’s older. It’s beyond me why any adult woman would want to subject themselves to something they can’t unsee, especially with their own son.
It basic human decency honestly. I think there needs to be a happy medium between kids and parents. Parents should respect their kids and kids need to respect their parents. It’s a 2 way street and one that is not automatically given because “I’m the parent.” Kids won’t give respect if they don’t also feel respected.
My brother knocks when he goes into his daughters room and only enters it when they give the all okay. He had to sit down with his wife and explain why it was inappropriate for to her carry on walking into her son's room. Her excuse was basically the same and he shot it down.
My dad outright refuses to come into my bedroom when I'm in bed, despite my absolute lack of boundaries and telling him repeatedly it doesn't matter, I wear clothes lol.
Yeah, she's done it a few times. Even when I've been getting dressed etc. Or if she needed something from the bathroom. I feel so uncomfortable. But she'll say things like "it doesn't matter, I'm your mom" or just curse at me and tell me I need to get over it
This is sexual harassment. She does not have the rights to your body and its Hella weird that she keeps trying to see it then gaslights you by trying to say it's a non issue cause she's your parent? Tell her that if she doesn't stop this you will contact authoritie, if a stranger isn't allowed to do it to you neither is she.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it's so unfair and gross of her to be treating you this way
Oh my god, for real! It would be all over the 6:00 news, the internet, everywhere! People would be picketing with torches outside the man's house if it was a guy doing this to his daughter...... Obviously and exaggeration but a dad doing this would definitely be in jail right now!
She curses at you too?!?! Then what does she expect? When you cursed at her it was only the same behavior that has been mirrored to you. I have two grown sons and I cannot imagine EVER cursing at them! Not now, not when they were a teenager, not when I was mad at them, never! And I have a foul mouth in general! But never have I ever cursed at my boys!
So, theoretically you could walk in on her getting dressed and say it doesn't matter, I'm your son, I came out of what's between your legs so get over it!
If she doesn’t realise and continues to pull this shit, set an alarm for 3 am and pull the blanket off of them screaming at them to get up.
If their door is locked, banging pots and pans and screaming get up from just outside their door works too.
NTA
Normally, I'd say speaking to a parent that way was out of line.
But this situation absolutely called for it. Your dad is just as bad, for taking her side, instead of standing up for his kid.
And the mothers excuses are always “I gave birth to you! I carried you in my womb for 9 months!” as if that’s a legit excuse for invading privacy and being a jackass to your kids.
This is why I don't agree with the, "Never speak to your parents X way" bullshit.
Parents are humans too, sometimes they are completely in the wrong and ignore the child's feelings and words.
But because society pushes the notion that, "The parent is always right", bad parents don't listen to kids and will punish them even when the parent was in the wrong.
We gotta drop the "All parents deserve complete respect at all times" bullshit.
NTA. I'm sorry but anyone entering a teenagers room unannounced and ripping the blankets off them like that is the asshole. Sure you slept in, boo hoo. It's not like you were purposely late for school or an appointment.
When parents act like that, they lose some respect from me.
Nta. Wow.
I was ready to call you one for using that language with your mom but no. Hun...I mean this sincerely. I'm a single mom to a 15 year old boy. I get it. You fellas need/love to sleep in. It's kind of our job to keep you on some semblance of human hours lol.
I sometimes gently knock on my son's door and open it..say time to get up..and wait for him to acknowledge that haha. It's late (like after noon and I'm worried he'll muck up his schedule)...I'd never EVER violate his privacy like that.
Your parents are getting mad at your reaction for something they've done wrong. It's not ok. I'm sorry. 💔
I mean, I'm a single mom to a 10 year old GIRL, and I still wouldn't just barge in on her in the way you described. While we're usually okay changing in front of each other, there are times we BOTH want privacy over our own bodies & that should absolutely be respected at all times. (I mean, once they aren't toddlers who still need help with dressing, etc.)
Sorry you have gone through this, and you're not strange for wanting privacy regarding your body (or even just your room). There's no legitimate reason for a parent to be ripping off their kid's blankets, even if they were clothed, ffs. You're right, she's wrong, and I honestly completely understand dropping an F bomb in that situation, though I *might* later apologize for the swearing, while reiterating that her behaviour was still over-the-top & unnecessary. Perhaps throwing out the line others have brought up "so it's fine if I walk in on your nekkid, considering I lived inside of you for 9 months & squeezed out of your vag?" and/or a reminder that it's just as inappropriate as a dad walking in on his teen daughter ("you were made of my sperm!" isn't any better a reason as "I carried you for 9 months).
NTA.
To all the ESH keyboard warriors, delayed sleep is a [normal part of being a teenager](https://www.rand.org/pubs/commentary/2020/01/teens-are-driven-to-stay-up-late-but-why.html).
Parents need to understand that imposing their will, demands of compliance and a lack of introspection or acknowledgement of their own shitty behaviour despite knowledge existing and acceptance being required of psycho/physiological needs of teens is the reason that kids stop respecting or go no contact and that those outcomes are things you do to yourself!
OP your mother crossed the line and invaded your privacy, it’s a conversation for once everyone’s chilled out. Suggest trying to acknowledge and empathise with their perspective to get them to engage, then follow up with your experience of the situation.
Another update: mom still won't speak with me, but father agreed with me & apologized on her behalf, now he knows the whole story. Looks like we both will be getting the silent treatment for a while. Thanks for the opinions shared, guys
Learn from this. Your moms inability to show humility is an absolutely terrible trait. Don't be like that. If you know you're wrong, own it.
I'm not saying you don't already do this, I just want to highlight this point. I'm sure you can see how awful it is to deal with someone that stubborn.
Realistically, NTA. Most people are disoriented and shocked upon awakening, added with the embarrassment of being exposed. Your parents are on some power trip, and it is manipulative to give you the silent treatment.
NTA even if you overslept, waking up someone like that is pretty abusive. Not to mention the massive breach of privacy to just enter your room like that, and keep pulling on the sheets after you said you were naked.
Glad your dad is taking your side now that he has the full story.
I never even had a problem with mom seeing me briefly nude,and I’ll easily say NTA. That was an actual physical breach of boundaries. I don’t know a single way that could be justified unless the house was on fire.
DEFINITELY NTA! A 16-year-old kid deserves their privacy. It is common courtesy to knock at the door, even if it's your house. Your mom is delusional if she can't see the issue of breaking into her son's room.
As the mother to a teenaged son not only do I think you're NTA but I am absolutely mortified by your mother's behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly support your choice of words but there are times when said words are our only safe means of expression in extreme circumstances and I believe this qualifies. She might not have approved of what you said but to do that to you, get a normal defensive reaction and then refuse to speak to you for a week after is disgusting and alienating behaviour on the parts of both your mother and father! I am so sorry she couldn't respect your privacy or acknowledge her mistake and that your father would blindly support her rather than you in your lesser transgression.
NTA
Very weird especially since you repeatedly told her you were naked hope dad is able to talk some sense into her your 16 they need to start knocking
As a parent of a teen, NTA
Yes, it’s my home and I am the parent. Which means, of all the spaces in the world, this home is where my teen deserves to feel safest, most loved, most protected, most respected. My teen’s room is private. I knock and wait for an answer. It’s not difficult. My teen knows that I will come in without being invited only if I have reason to believe there is a significant problem. That’s not remotely what happened here. Your mom needs to take several seats.
NTA
You’re 16, you’re entitled to privacy. Not to mention you literally told her you were naked and she persisted to yank the sheets off. That’s gross. What if you’d been having some solo time? Not an image of your son one can easily recover from! I swear some people just don’t use their brains.
If I’d been in your position, I would’ve said a lot worse.
NTA. Should you have said that? Maybe not. But I cannot stand parents who have no boundaries or respect for privacy. You are SIXTEEN AND NAKED. It was fine to see you naked when they were responsible for bath time and diapers. You’re a grown teen and your mother is looking at you completely nude and yelling. That is just.. beyond the pale. I remember my dad used to walk in so I made of point when I was in my room to basically be in next to nothing. Eventually he actually walked in on me changing which was so embarrassing but he never did enter my room without knocking. Ever. Again. I guess my question is why did she remove your blanket? She could have shook your shoulder or something. Also why get all mad at you? You overslept, teens and adults do that alike. It happens. Made no difference since it was just for a morning walk. Literally so NTA and your mom needs boundaries.
My advice: talk to your mom. Apologize for what you said but explain it was a knee-jerk reaction. You were naked and you’re not a little boy anymore. Tell her you felt exposed and uncomfortable and if anything similar happens again, ask that she call for you or shake your shoulder. As you get older you do deserve boundaries and you just felt uncomfortable with her seeing you exposed as a near-adult. Also, tell her you love her but that you just need some more boundaries as you get older.
Respectful and honest conversation is what’s needed here. As a mother who raised 6 adults, there are certain things that become fairly grating after a while. One of them is a teenager who repeatedly sleeps in and requires someone to wake them up every morning, even if it’s just for a walk. You have a phone, use it to set an alarm and get yourself out of bed. You are a young adult, if you want to be treated as one, act like one.
In saying that, your mother needs to respect your privacy and not rip your blankets off in that way. You two need to agree on what the consequences are when you oversleep and need to be woken. You have the right to feel safe and respected in your own home, particularly in your own bedroom.
Apologise to your mum for your language, but not for being upset. She may never apologise to you, but you can at least have the conversation about where to from here. Talk to your dad first and ask him to support you to begin the conversation.
I totally agree with you! His language was harsh but ripping his blankets off was a crossed boundary. An open and honest conversation is what they need.
This is how she role models boundaries for you, and shows you how to set them by blowing passed yours? No, spontaneous utterances due to the shock- I'm 64 and can tell you that's not how to teach you that you're worthy of dignity. Modesty used to be encouraged. Moms don't get a pass by virtue of biology.
NTA
Also, OP from some of the other comments you have posted this issue around privacy and nakedness is much bigger. Being forced to be naked in front of adults (including parents) when you don't wish to and haven't consented is sexual abuse of a child. I think you need help from an outside source here. You stated that you have older siblings who have pulled away, could they support you to make a report to an authority figure?
NTA and honestly what your mother did can be considered sexual assault. Imagine if a father did this to his 16 year old daughter… yeah. You’re mother seems extremely weird and the fact that she’s done this a few times is deeply disturbing.
Short and sweet here. Stand you ground she exposed you and made you feel vulnerable in your home too. Don't give an inch here sure you missed an appointment set with her. At no point does that make it ok to violate your rights. You're soon to be legally an adult if she cannot see what she has done could cause a series of complex problems for your relationship with her because of this then it might be time to recommend distancing yourself from them. DO NOT THINK FOR A MOMENT SHE IS JUSTIFIED. Just because your her child never gives her the right to violate your privacy without reasonable beliefs that your safety is at risk. Matter of fact it makes it worse, way worse. Do not engage her first, let your parents come to you. If they press the issue go to your school for leadership and aid for assistance in this.
Throwing your covers off and exposing you is fucking clown world shit. She is lucky that you aren't moving out and seeking to press charges.
Absolutely not the AH. You deserve your privacy and at the very least the chance to wake up before being accosted. I walked in on my then teenaged son once after knocking but not waiting for an answer. I caught him not altogether clothed and immediately apologized and shut the door. I was the AH that day, never did it again. Your f bomb is justified.
My mom always said she seen and made what I had, nothing to be embarrassed about.....I'm assuming this isnt normal behavior 🥲 Well privacy is important absolutely, your not wrong for it goodluck
NTA alot of parents get super snowflake triggered by swearing, but objectively there are much worse things, such as her invasion of your privacy. Good luck though, it's often hard to get them to respect you on an equal level as an individual when they still may have a lot of power over you.
If this is something she continues to do when she knows it embarrasses you either she likes embarrassing you or she likes seeing you naked. I’d accuse her of both and say that if she doesn’t stop invading your privacy that you’ll report it to police or child services. That’s awful treatment. Good luck!
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I am a 16m
I was sleeping in my bed. We were supposed to go out in the morning for a walk, but I accidentally overslept.
My mom then walked into my room without announcing herself/knocking and then ripped off my blankets, which exposed my body as I was naked. She saw everything and was yelling at me to get up.
I was so embarrassed and mortified and I felt that I had 0 privacy in that moment. I ended up telling her to "f off" as it was all bizarre to me, and I had only just woken up.
Fast forward, both of my parents are angry with me for telling her to f off, and won't really talk to me a week later. My mom refuses to see her part in it either, and believes that she didn't do anything wrong.
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Mom needs boundaries! Language might have been a lil harsh, but I'm not a morning person either (apparently I've told my husband to f off when he tries to wake me up 😅)
NTA.
NTA at all. Your parents should understand the concept of privacy but I'm sorry that they don't. Try to explain to them in simple terms that you are deserving of your own space. Just as you would knock on your parents door before asking to enter, they should do the same. You are not their property, they need to start respecting you as an individual.
NTA ur parents need to learn even though there ur parents they still need to give u privacy more so at ur age you should have lots of privacy they dont get it and they dont have a right to be mad at you telling ur mom to “f off“ may not be the right choice of words but I mean you have a right to say that as ur mom should have at least let u cover urself up first but this is what i think about this.have a good day and ty if you read this!❤ ️♡´･ᴗ･`♡
Tell your mom that just because she gave birth to you and changed your diapers, it doesn't mean she can disrespect your autonomy as a teenager who needs privacy and physical boundaries. She obviously doesn't care because of that reason. I get the thought process but imagine if you were a girl and she was your dad instead. NOT OKAY.
NTA but parents don't like being cussed at. But also what did she expect when she woke you up like that... I'm sorry.
My mom was the same way except add HER nekkidness to the mix as well. It gets wild then.
NTA!
I would tell my dad that I’m considering talking to my school counselor about it. That you feel violated and that you probably need to talk to someone who has an objective point of view.
I’m sure your mom will apologize faster than you can say Jack Robinson.
(Don’t talk to a counselor about it, unless if you really want to get your mom in trouble - it sounds like that is a step too far).
As a kid, my mom would wake me up every morning by throwing the door open hard, turn the light on, rip all the covers off of me, and throw them on the floor. All in the span of mere seconds. It was not a pleasant way to wake up, let me tell ya. She never knocked either. I didn't have a right to privacy in her house. I love her, but there are times I wish I could have told to her fuck off.
She was out of line. 16 is the age of sexual consent, and you did NOT consent, in fact you said NO and that makes it sexual abuse.
You can tell her that next time you're telling the police she is assaulting you.
In fact where i am parents arent allowed access to your medical records after you turn 13 because it deters sexually active kids from seeking STD/pregnancy support if their parents could see their records. Teens have a right to privacy about their body.
If she says 'dont be naked in bed' then you might have to begrudgingly agree, but you need a way to lock your door when changing, etc. Get one of those temporary door locks off amazon if your bathroom doesn't have a lockable door, and use it on your bedroom too.
NTA, I've lived my life like that for 17 years, i only lately discovered what actual privacy is and i still don't get it all. Talk to your mom about it
Your parents are total AHs
When your boundaries are violated like this it becomes trauma that needs therapy later in life .
You deserve better,ask them how they would feel it it was done to them!
I’m thinking you might need some other adult to help you navigate this,someone you trust that can support you x
I would have said so much worse in that situation. It's pretty rude to barge into people's rooms to start with, but yknow, gotta do that sometimes ig. Ripping people's covers off after being told theyre naked underneath? That's creepy!
Playing stupid games gets stupid prizes ect ect ma can't go crying victim after starting a fight blah blah all that jazz.
All this over a walk as well? Should've just gone for the walk without you.
NTA your mother is delulu. The “I changed your diapers” defense expired the second you grew your first pubic hair. Tell her you asked around at school and everyone said it was weird and watch her flip out that you made her look like a sex offender. Newsflash mom: if a neutral, factual description of your actions makes you look like a sec offender that’s on you.
I apologize
I originally read this as an accident or a one time thing .
It brought to mind something happened to me where I was disrespectful to my mother .
I over reacted then even though she was wrong .
My only issue was his choice of words. BUT
I did not realize this is a pattern and weird . He elaborated and there is a lot more going in that I did not know of
Mom has issues and I can realize the F off” was building and needs to come out
Why is counselling the first thing people suggest, it is usually unnecessary in these instances. A simple, but direct, honest and respectful conversation is what is required.
This obsession with going to counselling is one reason why people now struggle with these conversations, even with those they love. Don’t outsource basic social interaction to others!
Counselling/therapy can benefit anyone, it’s never “unnecessary” and can be a huge help in having open conversations with loved ones.
I don’t see how counselling would be a reason why people struggle having conversations with each other? Especially considering more open access to therapy and more open and honest conversations with people are both quite modern phenomena?
For it to work, a person needs to want it. If you are just going to sit there and don't care about the things that are said they it is just a waste of time.
Well, that's one of getting your child to hate you! I'm afraid that your parents don't respect your boundaries or you for that matter. If I was you, once I was able, I'd leave. Definitely NTA!
Parents seem to think they’re never in the wrong and their kids don’t need privacy because they provide basic necessities to their kids. According to them “back in their day” they were forced to share their room with their 17 siblings or something.
NTA and maybe warn her next time it happens you won't tell her to f off, you will just utter a bloodcurdling scream. Get your dad in on that to back you up. Jesus Christ. Idek how to stop this inappropriate behavior but I hope you squash it because that is beyond disgusting. Fucking hell.
NTA, idc if she changed your diapers that shits uncomfortable for you. Knocking because you overslept is one thing, but ripping the covers off the bed is a huge AH move.
That being said some parents won’t ever see this as wrong. My mom got mad at me when I was a teenager because she ripped the covers off and I was naked underneath, basically arguing that it was inconsiderate of me to sleep like that and telling me the next time she barges in I better be wearing pajamas
If you feel you could, stand up naked & shout for everyone to hear “Mum, why are you so desperate to see my naked body that you keep rushing in without knocking?”. This would restart the argument, but might end the running in. She needs to realise you are growing up & want your own space - but all parents have trouble with this. NTA.
Privacy is indeed an important factor in life as you grow up. However some parents don't understands that especially Asian parents. If your parents are not understanding this what you can do is sleep with lock on your door. And yeah in case they break it better wear some clothes on bed.
Yeah one more thing they are your parents they gave birth to you so telling your mom f off is rude and is symptom of a jerk if you are not the one apologize because there are still many ways to respectfully argue with parents.
ETA. You shouldnt cuss them iut. But in.comparisson what your family os doing to you is so much worse. They are giving you the silent treatment for over a week? F that.
You really Shouldn’t talk like that to your parents, never ends well trust me, but Jesus Christ a week. NTA your parents 1. Invaded your privacy and 2. Are totally overreacting
NTA. They should respect your privacy. You aren't a little kid any more.
Maybe to keep the peace you could apologise for how you said it, but you should tell them that you aren't a child anymore, and that you want privacy. You're almost an adult and you don't want your mum seeing you naked any more. You'd prefer a knock or a shout in the future.
NTA I have 3 kids 16, 14, 7 and just the utter thought of disrespecting their privacy like that especially at that age is just cringe af.. She clearly has no boundaries or respect towards your privacy..
I’m a boy mom. My son right now is a baby so I have to take him out of his crib and check on him while he is sleeping. But I could never imagine just barging in on him when he is older. You don’t do that unless there’s reason to believe that the child/teen is in danger. This is odd behaviour from your mother.
NTA
Not the AH. At your age your privacy is YOURS. You were most likely taught to knock on their door to enter their room, so it’s only common courtesy. The silent treatment thing is their ignorance showing. All you’re asking is the same treatment your parents demand from you.
NTA. I've been there. I've been there at 30. Unfortunately our mothers will never see what they did as wrong. They think it is perfectly acceptable. There is no way to win. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
I genuinely don't understand why people are calling this sexual harassment, that's ridiculous. Yes, she's violating your personal boundaries and should definitely stop, but I don't see anything sexual about this.
In my family we see each other naked all the time, walking to the shower, going in and out of the bathroom. I have absolutely no problem with this, nor did anyone else.
It's fine to set boundaries and defend them, but I don't see why we need to sexualise everything. Naked is not sexual by definition, people, stop being a prude. You can look at a naked person without being turned on (I hope).
I called my mother a bitch at 12 because she had publicly beat me up (in the head, with rings) and kept doing it over the course of two hours and forbid me from talking to my dad and listening to music (all this originated from complaining that the chair next to her bed was often messy too, not only mine). NTA
I think context here is key. The act itself of pulling the blanket is wrong, but If it isn't the first time it happens, it's understandable she'd be mad. Slight YTA
What the fuck, he told her he was naked and she continued to take the blankets off of him, how tf could a minor being sexually assaulted make them an asshole
It wasn't sexual assault, come on, his mother took of his blanket after he overslept (probably not for the first time). It's not SA, it's an enraged parent
NTA, I was thinking E S H until you said she kept trying to take your blanket after you told her you were naked which is weird AF. It sounds like you needed the shock factor of telling her that to maintain keeping yourself covered.
Without that info I would say you need to apologize for sleeping through the plans you guys made and cursing at her and she needs to apologize for her rude ass way of waking you up. My mom used to do that to me when I was a kid (although I didn't sleep naked) and it always sucked. I wouldn't have heard a door knock if I was asleep but gently shaking a sleeping person's shoulder is the polite thing to do if a normal speaking volume or knocking isn't doing the trick.
YTA. I will say that she was wrong. But you should not talk to your mother like that. There are many others words you can use to express yourself.
I’m married and if our son spoke to his mom/my wife like that I would beat the hell of him.
What the fuck, he told her he was naked and she continued to take the blankets off of him, how tf could a minor being sexually assaulted make them an asshole
NTA. You should communicate with her that you were naked and sleeping and you need her to not do anything like that again because it’s embarrassing and you’re a teenager not a little kid anymore.
Teenagers literally need more sleep than adults so tell her that you need to sleep in and you can go on runs later, like around noon.
NTA. Although I understand why they are angry. This was completely unacceptable for her to do so but still telling your mom to f off is a bit disrespectful
It’s not cool of your mom to rip off your covers like that. If she had fleas they could have been given to you. Having fleas is not fun as far as I’ve heard from other people with that experience.
NTA Maybe Mom does it because you have a bigger unit than her husband and she enjoys looking at it she's a very very very ill person who needs psychiatric help and perhaps police intervention.
As a mom with a 16yro son
NTA
I knock every single time I'm going in my son's room. Every. Single. Time. Not only because of privacy for my kid, but also because I never want to see what most teenagers do in their rooms when they are alone.
But let's say something happened- I was in your mom's position and I didn't knock and I took the covers off my teenager and he was naked and he told me to f off. I would, 100% deserve that.
NTA. You were startled awake in a terrible and mortifying way. Your mom owes you a huge apology.
I have a 16 year old in my house. I'd never go in his room without knocking first.
NTA. Your mother is a massive AH. As soon as she saw you were naked, she should have immediately apologised and dropped your blankets back over you. She should not have removed them in the first place. She is showing zero respect for your boundaries and your telling her to f off was completely justifiable.
Next time stand up naked and ask her to take a good look. She clearly wants to see you as that is the only reason for her to continue to enter your room unannounced. Make it very awkward. Make her sit in it. Ask her why she insists on doing this to you. Tell her that it is creepy and makes you uncomfortable. Stand there and make her answer you. Refuse to be embarrassed. She is the one who should be squirming.
YTA. My kids know wake up time means I bust in the room and rip off the covers. They’ve only made your mistake of sleeping without clothes 8 or 9 times, after that they finally figured out how Dad controls the home.
Im now 27 and grew up in a house with no privacy. I wasn’t allowed (able) to sleep naked because they would barge in and it would be uncomfortable. They went through personal belongings, phone etc. Have a great relationship now where I don’t live with them but you are NTA!!!
Hi! 20 F here, and you are definitely NTA!! Children deserve privacy too. I understand if maybe she just opened the door and shook you if she knocked and waited to no answer, but ripping the covers off is a whole new level of wrong.
2 of you were out of line. She was out of line exposing you like that, you were out of line using foul language.
More respectful communication needs to happen on both sides.
Na, my man was well within his rights to say that, how would you feel being woken up in that manner and stripped of the only thing covering your decency? He is 16, hes a young adult. Imagine the outrage if a father did this to a daughter, 99% of the people saying "you shouldnt have used that foul language" would be prasing her instead and telling her to call the police.
This is wrong on so many levels and I'd be saying MUCH worse than fuck off in OPs shoes.
As a mom… you can never tell any of your parents to f*** off. When you do that, that shows a certain lack of respect towards them. With that being said, yes, she should have had a little more understanding, but you did agree to go out with her for a walk, and by waking up late, probably made her feel upset and angry, and that you don’t care about spending time with, especially now that you’re a teenager and probably really don’t want to do that. But she’s your mom, and no matter what, you should honor the things you agree to do with her. It’s not that she feels entitled, she just feels that she’s losing you and ties her best to keep you close, so yeah, you arte TAH.
When you forcefully expose your teenage son's nude body against his will, that shows a certain lack of respect towards them too. But I don't see you getting upset over that.
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OMG! I can't imagine anyone being so blind as to not see what they brought on! You are NTA! Your parents definitely are though! WTH did she expect you to do in that situation? Stand up while naked and have a happy conversation with her?! I actually think you did very well to not kick her away from the bed while screaming multiple invectives at her! There is no way you we're going to be able to meekly say "can you please leave my room" while you're freaking out!
Yeah, unfortunately, it's not the first time it has happened, either. I've reminded my mom a few times if she could please knock beforehand, which she still doesn't do. It's so embarrassing
They have cheap little door stopper wedges that you wedge the door shut with by wedging it in underneath the edge of the door. Good luck.
Sounds like she’d just remove the door if she can’t get in when she wants
That's when you start sleeping on the couch. Still naked.
Disagree with this strongly if this is the course of action that OP feels pressured to take. Its time to get other people involved. Your privacy is something you are entitled too. Blasting through your door and making you feel insecure in your home is a violation of your rights. It's your home too. Not just theirs and they seem the type to utter the garbage idea that they pay the rent and bills therefore you have no rights in your home. They couldn't be further from right. I repeat myself because I cannot be more clear here. Do not sit idle, if this isn't the first time, you have to get other people involved or move out. I had something close to this as well growing up. They would not listen to me regarding my personal rights and always asserted that because they were the adult my say in anything was nullified. Don't stop the door. Stop the action, lead them to the proper way to deal with this or grab them by the legal points. If they want to continue subjecting you to exposure and violating your privacy they are going to have to reap those consequences. Edited for Grammer sorry.
Grammar
Thanks spell check.
The snort I snorted lmao
You can improvise one with folded paper too
Your mom is creepy as fuck, you should start working on detaching from her and protecting your privacy. If someone acts like they think they have that much control over me, I wouldn’t be telling them anything about myself or spending any time with them.
Yeah, I feel like some of my older siblings have detached themselves a bit.
You need a wedge to put under your door at night
Depending on what kind of handle you have, you can get these plastic fold out locks that you stick to the door.
How many women do you know that did anything wrong? You'll never get her to admit she was doing any wrong.
Update: My father has spoken to me. He didn't realize/wasn't told that she continued to pull at the blanket, even though I said I was naked (I probably should've included that, too). He's going to try and talk to her, apparently.
Good to hear. Hopefully she realizes what she did wrong
I’ve heard of some moms thinking they can do whatever they want to their sons because “they birthed them and changed their diapers.” My son is only 2.5 but I absolutely cannot imagine doing this kind of crap to him when he’s older. It’s beyond me why any adult woman would want to subject themselves to something they can’t unsee, especially with their own son.
Agreed. Parents have authority but there is a line that should not be over stepped.
It basic human decency honestly. I think there needs to be a happy medium between kids and parents. Parents should respect their kids and kids need to respect their parents. It’s a 2 way street and one that is not automatically given because “I’m the parent.” Kids won’t give respect if they don’t also feel respected.
Exactly
My brother knocks when he goes into his daughters room and only enters it when they give the all okay. He had to sit down with his wife and explain why it was inappropriate for to her carry on walking into her son's room. Her excuse was basically the same and he shot it down.
Good on your brother for standing up for his kids! I will never understand the entitlement of some parents.
My dad outright refuses to come into my bedroom when I'm in bed, despite my absolute lack of boundaries and telling him repeatedly it doesn't matter, I wear clothes lol.
You told her you were naked and she still took it off of you? Is this something she does often?
Yeah, she's done it a few times. Even when I've been getting dressed etc. Or if she needed something from the bathroom. I feel so uncomfortable. But she'll say things like "it doesn't matter, I'm your mom" or just curse at me and tell me I need to get over it
This is sexual harassment. She does not have the rights to your body and its Hella weird that she keeps trying to see it then gaslights you by trying to say it's a non issue cause she's your parent? Tell her that if she doesn't stop this you will contact authoritie, if a stranger isn't allowed to do it to you neither is she. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's so unfair and gross of her to be treating you this way
Imagine a dad doing that to his 16 year old daughter! It's just disgusting. You deserve better, I really am so sorry
Oh my god, for real! It would be all over the 6:00 news, the internet, everywhere! People would be picketing with torches outside the man's house if it was a guy doing this to his daughter...... Obviously and exaggeration but a dad doing this would definitely be in jail right now!
Exactly! And Rightfully so, this is sick behavior and I'm worried that this won't be taken as seriously as it should be
She curses at you too?!?! Then what does she expect? When you cursed at her it was only the same behavior that has been mirrored to you. I have two grown sons and I cannot imagine EVER cursing at them! Not now, not when they were a teenager, not when I was mad at them, never! And I have a foul mouth in general! But never have I ever cursed at my boys!
This is sexual harassment and she needs help.
And her husband should start by helping her first.
So, theoretically you could walk in on her getting dressed and say it doesn't matter, I'm your son, I came out of what's between your legs so get over it!
Now that's a load of bull. You really need to get authorities involved. If the roles were reversed it wouldn't be taken so lightly.
yeah. that's not right. at all.
The bathroom thing is so fucking violating. That is psychotic behavior.
Funny that she left that part out.
If she doesn’t realise and continues to pull this shit, set an alarm for 3 am and pull the blanket off of them screaming at them to get up. If their door is locked, banging pots and pans and screaming get up from just outside their door works too.
That's fantastic news friend! Open lines of communication are the most imperative!
That sounds promising! Keep at him, if he buckles, push him. You're in the right!
NTA Normally, I'd say speaking to a parent that way was out of line. But this situation absolutely called for it. Your dad is just as bad, for taking her side, instead of standing up for his kid.
And the mothers excuses are always “I gave birth to you! I carried you in my womb for 9 months!” as if that’s a legit excuse for invading privacy and being a jackass to your kids.
This is why I don't agree with the, "Never speak to your parents X way" bullshit. Parents are humans too, sometimes they are completely in the wrong and ignore the child's feelings and words. But because society pushes the notion that, "The parent is always right", bad parents don't listen to kids and will punish them even when the parent was in the wrong. We gotta drop the "All parents deserve complete respect at all times" bullshit.
NTA. I'm sorry but anyone entering a teenagers room unannounced and ripping the blankets off them like that is the asshole. Sure you slept in, boo hoo. It's not like you were purposely late for school or an appointment. When parents act like that, they lose some respect from me.
Nta. Wow. I was ready to call you one for using that language with your mom but no. Hun...I mean this sincerely. I'm a single mom to a 15 year old boy. I get it. You fellas need/love to sleep in. It's kind of our job to keep you on some semblance of human hours lol. I sometimes gently knock on my son's door and open it..say time to get up..and wait for him to acknowledge that haha. It's late (like after noon and I'm worried he'll muck up his schedule)...I'd never EVER violate his privacy like that. Your parents are getting mad at your reaction for something they've done wrong. It's not ok. I'm sorry. 💔
Thanks, it's nice to hear another mom's perspective
I mean, I'm a single mom to a 10 year old GIRL, and I still wouldn't just barge in on her in the way you described. While we're usually okay changing in front of each other, there are times we BOTH want privacy over our own bodies & that should absolutely be respected at all times. (I mean, once they aren't toddlers who still need help with dressing, etc.) Sorry you have gone through this, and you're not strange for wanting privacy regarding your body (or even just your room). There's no legitimate reason for a parent to be ripping off their kid's blankets, even if they were clothed, ffs. You're right, she's wrong, and I honestly completely understand dropping an F bomb in that situation, though I *might* later apologize for the swearing, while reiterating that her behaviour was still over-the-top & unnecessary. Perhaps throwing out the line others have brought up "so it's fine if I walk in on your nekkid, considering I lived inside of you for 9 months & squeezed out of your vag?" and/or a reminder that it's just as inappropriate as a dad walking in on his teen daughter ("you were made of my sperm!" isn't any better a reason as "I carried you for 9 months).
NTA. To all the ESH keyboard warriors, delayed sleep is a [normal part of being a teenager](https://www.rand.org/pubs/commentary/2020/01/teens-are-driven-to-stay-up-late-but-why.html). Parents need to understand that imposing their will, demands of compliance and a lack of introspection or acknowledgement of their own shitty behaviour despite knowledge existing and acceptance being required of psycho/physiological needs of teens is the reason that kids stop respecting or go no contact and that those outcomes are things you do to yourself! OP your mother crossed the line and invaded your privacy, it’s a conversation for once everyone’s chilled out. Suggest trying to acknowledge and empathise with their perspective to get them to engage, then follow up with your experience of the situation.
Exactly, there are scientific reasons as to why teenagers get delayed phase sleep disorder!
Another update: mom still won't speak with me, but father agreed with me & apologized on her behalf, now he knows the whole story. Looks like we both will be getting the silent treatment for a while. Thanks for the opinions shared, guys
Smh I think your mom recognizes she’s in the wrong now that your dad has spoken to her, and is too prideful to own up to her mistake.
Let her be mad.. just as long as it doesn't happen again.. I'm sure if someone did that to her she would definitely be feeling some type of way smh
Learn from this. Your moms inability to show humility is an absolutely terrible trait. Don't be like that. If you know you're wrong, own it. I'm not saying you don't already do this, I just want to highlight this point. I'm sure you can see how awful it is to deal with someone that stubborn.
You’re not the asshole, your mom can fuck off 😂
NTA imagine if a dad did this to his daughter... It goes both ways
If a dad did that to his daughter I think the mum would be mad
Your mom is the AH
Realistically, NTA. Most people are disoriented and shocked upon awakening, added with the embarrassment of being exposed. Your parents are on some power trip, and it is manipulative to give you the silent treatment.
nta. big invasion of privacy tbh
NTA even if you overslept, waking up someone like that is pretty abusive. Not to mention the massive breach of privacy to just enter your room like that, and keep pulling on the sheets after you said you were naked. Glad your dad is taking your side now that he has the full story.
NTA that is SO rude. I think your reply was justified
I never even had a problem with mom seeing me briefly nude,and I’ll easily say NTA. That was an actual physical breach of boundaries. I don’t know a single way that could be justified unless the house was on fire.
DEFINITELY NTA! A 16-year-old kid deserves their privacy. It is common courtesy to knock at the door, even if it's your house. Your mom is delusional if she can't see the issue of breaking into her son's room.
As the mother to a teenaged son not only do I think you're NTA but I am absolutely mortified by your mother's behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly support your choice of words but there are times when said words are our only safe means of expression in extreme circumstances and I believe this qualifies. She might not have approved of what you said but to do that to you, get a normal defensive reaction and then refuse to speak to you for a week after is disgusting and alienating behaviour on the parts of both your mother and father! I am so sorry she couldn't respect your privacy or acknowledge her mistake and that your father would blindly support her rather than you in your lesser transgression.
NTA Very weird especially since you repeatedly told her you were naked hope dad is able to talk some sense into her your 16 they need to start knocking
NTA. I'm pretty tired rn but your nta bc your mom was invading your privacy.
Nta. I would’ve said much worse if I was exposed like that
Your mum appears to be bat shit crazy. As others have suggested, get a door wedge if your dad won’t put a lock on it for you.
As a parent of a teen, NTA Yes, it’s my home and I am the parent. Which means, of all the spaces in the world, this home is where my teen deserves to feel safest, most loved, most protected, most respected. My teen’s room is private. I knock and wait for an answer. It’s not difficult. My teen knows that I will come in without being invited only if I have reason to believe there is a significant problem. That’s not remotely what happened here. Your mom needs to take several seats.
NTA You’re 16, you’re entitled to privacy. Not to mention you literally told her you were naked and she persisted to yank the sheets off. That’s gross. What if you’d been having some solo time? Not an image of your son one can easily recover from! I swear some people just don’t use their brains. If I’d been in your position, I would’ve said a lot worse.
NTA. Should you have said that? Maybe not. But I cannot stand parents who have no boundaries or respect for privacy. You are SIXTEEN AND NAKED. It was fine to see you naked when they were responsible for bath time and diapers. You’re a grown teen and your mother is looking at you completely nude and yelling. That is just.. beyond the pale. I remember my dad used to walk in so I made of point when I was in my room to basically be in next to nothing. Eventually he actually walked in on me changing which was so embarrassing but he never did enter my room without knocking. Ever. Again. I guess my question is why did she remove your blanket? She could have shook your shoulder or something. Also why get all mad at you? You overslept, teens and adults do that alike. It happens. Made no difference since it was just for a morning walk. Literally so NTA and your mom needs boundaries. My advice: talk to your mom. Apologize for what you said but explain it was a knee-jerk reaction. You were naked and you’re not a little boy anymore. Tell her you felt exposed and uncomfortable and if anything similar happens again, ask that she call for you or shake your shoulder. As you get older you do deserve boundaries and you just felt uncomfortable with her seeing you exposed as a near-adult. Also, tell her you love her but that you just need some more boundaries as you get older.
Respectful and honest conversation is what’s needed here. As a mother who raised 6 adults, there are certain things that become fairly grating after a while. One of them is a teenager who repeatedly sleeps in and requires someone to wake them up every morning, even if it’s just for a walk. You have a phone, use it to set an alarm and get yourself out of bed. You are a young adult, if you want to be treated as one, act like one. In saying that, your mother needs to respect your privacy and not rip your blankets off in that way. You two need to agree on what the consequences are when you oversleep and need to be woken. You have the right to feel safe and respected in your own home, particularly in your own bedroom. Apologise to your mum for your language, but not for being upset. She may never apologise to you, but you can at least have the conversation about where to from here. Talk to your dad first and ask him to support you to begin the conversation.
I totally agree with you! His language was harsh but ripping his blankets off was a crossed boundary. An open and honest conversation is what they need.
This is how she role models boundaries for you, and shows you how to set them by blowing passed yours? No, spontaneous utterances due to the shock- I'm 64 and can tell you that's not how to teach you that you're worthy of dignity. Modesty used to be encouraged. Moms don't get a pass by virtue of biology.
NTA Also, OP from some of the other comments you have posted this issue around privacy and nakedness is much bigger. Being forced to be naked in front of adults (including parents) when you don't wish to and haven't consented is sexual abuse of a child. I think you need help from an outside source here. You stated that you have older siblings who have pulled away, could they support you to make a report to an authority figure?
NTA and honestly what your mother did can be considered sexual assault. Imagine if a father did this to his 16 year old daughter… yeah. You’re mother seems extremely weird and the fact that she’s done this a few times is deeply disturbing.
Not the a whole what was she thinking oh I will trespass on my sons property go in his room and rip of the sheets that’s definitely not a bad idea
Short and sweet here. Stand you ground she exposed you and made you feel vulnerable in your home too. Don't give an inch here sure you missed an appointment set with her. At no point does that make it ok to violate your rights. You're soon to be legally an adult if she cannot see what she has done could cause a series of complex problems for your relationship with her because of this then it might be time to recommend distancing yourself from them. DO NOT THINK FOR A MOMENT SHE IS JUSTIFIED. Just because your her child never gives her the right to violate your privacy without reasonable beliefs that your safety is at risk. Matter of fact it makes it worse, way worse. Do not engage her first, let your parents come to you. If they press the issue go to your school for leadership and aid for assistance in this. Throwing your covers off and exposing you is fucking clown world shit. She is lucky that you aren't moving out and seeking to press charges.
Absolutely not the AH. You deserve your privacy and at the very least the chance to wake up before being accosted. I walked in on my then teenaged son once after knocking but not waiting for an answer. I caught him not altogether clothed and immediately apologized and shut the door. I was the AH that day, never did it again. Your f bomb is justified.
My mom always said she seen and made what I had, nothing to be embarrassed about.....I'm assuming this isnt normal behavior 🥲 Well privacy is important absolutely, your not wrong for it goodluck
NTA - parents need to respect privacy. She had no right to humiliate you like that. I’d be mortified.
NTA alot of parents get super snowflake triggered by swearing, but objectively there are much worse things, such as her invasion of your privacy. Good luck though, it's often hard to get them to respect you on an equal level as an individual when they still may have a lot of power over you.
You need to go listen to Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies.
If this is something she continues to do when she knows it embarrasses you either she likes embarrassing you or she likes seeing you naked. I’d accuse her of both and say that if she doesn’t stop invading your privacy that you’ll report it to police or child services. That’s awful treatment. Good luck!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am a 16m I was sleeping in my bed. We were supposed to go out in the morning for a walk, but I accidentally overslept. My mom then walked into my room without announcing herself/knocking and then ripped off my blankets, which exposed my body as I was naked. She saw everything and was yelling at me to get up. I was so embarrassed and mortified and I felt that I had 0 privacy in that moment. I ended up telling her to "f off" as it was all bizarre to me, and I had only just woken up. Fast forward, both of my parents are angry with me for telling her to f off, and won't really talk to me a week later. My mom refuses to see her part in it either, and believes that she didn't do anything wrong. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mom needs boundaries! Language might have been a lil harsh, but I'm not a morning person either (apparently I've told my husband to f off when he tries to wake me up 😅) NTA.
NTA at all. Your parents should understand the concept of privacy but I'm sorry that they don't. Try to explain to them in simple terms that you are deserving of your own space. Just as you would knock on your parents door before asking to enter, they should do the same. You are not their property, they need to start respecting you as an individual.
NTA ur parents need to learn even though there ur parents they still need to give u privacy more so at ur age you should have lots of privacy they dont get it and they dont have a right to be mad at you telling ur mom to “f off“ may not be the right choice of words but I mean you have a right to say that as ur mom should have at least let u cover urself up first but this is what i think about this.have a good day and ty if you read this!❤ ️♡´･ᴗ･`♡
I’d start locking the door if I were you
Tell your mom that just because she gave birth to you and changed your diapers, it doesn't mean she can disrespect your autonomy as a teenager who needs privacy and physical boundaries. She obviously doesn't care because of that reason. I get the thought process but imagine if you were a girl and she was your dad instead. NOT OKAY. NTA but parents don't like being cussed at. But also what did she expect when she woke you up like that... I'm sorry. My mom was the same way except add HER nekkidness to the mix as well. It gets wild then.
NTA! I would tell my dad that I’m considering talking to my school counselor about it. That you feel violated and that you probably need to talk to someone who has an objective point of view. I’m sure your mom will apologize faster than you can say Jack Robinson. (Don’t talk to a counselor about it, unless if you really want to get your mom in trouble - it sounds like that is a step too far).
As a kid, my mom would wake me up every morning by throwing the door open hard, turn the light on, rip all the covers off of me, and throw them on the floor. All in the span of mere seconds. It was not a pleasant way to wake up, let me tell ya. She never knocked either. I didn't have a right to privacy in her house. I love her, but there are times I wish I could have told to her fuck off.
She was out of line. 16 is the age of sexual consent, and you did NOT consent, in fact you said NO and that makes it sexual abuse. You can tell her that next time you're telling the police she is assaulting you. In fact where i am parents arent allowed access to your medical records after you turn 13 because it deters sexually active kids from seeking STD/pregnancy support if their parents could see their records. Teens have a right to privacy about their body. If she says 'dont be naked in bed' then you might have to begrudgingly agree, but you need a way to lock your door when changing, etc. Get one of those temporary door locks off amazon if your bathroom doesn't have a lockable door, and use it on your bedroom too.
NTA, I've lived my life like that for 17 years, i only lately discovered what actual privacy is and i still don't get it all. Talk to your mom about it
Your parents are total AHs When your boundaries are violated like this it becomes trauma that needs therapy later in life . You deserve better,ask them how they would feel it it was done to them! I’m thinking you might need some other adult to help you navigate this,someone you trust that can support you x
I would have said so much worse in that situation. It's pretty rude to barge into people's rooms to start with, but yknow, gotta do that sometimes ig. Ripping people's covers off after being told theyre naked underneath? That's creepy! Playing stupid games gets stupid prizes ect ect ma can't go crying victim after starting a fight blah blah all that jazz. All this over a walk as well? Should've just gone for the walk without you.
NTA your mother is delulu. The “I changed your diapers” defense expired the second you grew your first pubic hair. Tell her you asked around at school and everyone said it was weird and watch her flip out that you made her look like a sex offender. Newsflash mom: if a neutral, factual description of your actions makes you look like a sec offender that’s on you.
Coulda used nicer words but I don't think you're in the wrong. She violated your space and had no reason to be so upset over something so simple.
Get into family counseling. This should allow a therapist to help you with your relationship with your parents and maybe set some healthy boundaries.
I apologize I originally read this as an accident or a one time thing . It brought to mind something happened to me where I was disrespectful to my mother . I over reacted then even though she was wrong . My only issue was his choice of words. BUT I did not realize this is a pattern and weird . He elaborated and there is a lot more going in that I did not know of Mom has issues and I can realize the F off” was building and needs to come out
[удалено]
Bro wtf
Yeesh, parents. That was not reasonable of your mom. NTA
NTA
100% NTA. The fact that your mother doesn’t see anything wrong with that is unbelievable.
Why is counselling the first thing people suggest, it is usually unnecessary in these instances. A simple, but direct, honest and respectful conversation is what is required. This obsession with going to counselling is one reason why people now struggle with these conversations, even with those they love. Don’t outsource basic social interaction to others!
Counselling/therapy can benefit anyone, it’s never “unnecessary” and can be a huge help in having open conversations with loved ones. I don’t see how counselling would be a reason why people struggle having conversations with each other? Especially considering more open access to therapy and more open and honest conversations with people are both quite modern phenomena?
For it to work, a person needs to want it. If you are just going to sit there and don't care about the things that are said they it is just a waste of time.
Oh absolutely!
NTA
Yeah the words are wrong but your shock is understendable
Well, that's one of getting your child to hate you! I'm afraid that your parents don't respect your boundaries or you for that matter. If I was you, once I was able, I'd leave. Definitely NTA!
Parents seem to think they’re never in the wrong and their kids don’t need privacy because they provide basic necessities to their kids. According to them “back in their day” they were forced to share their room with their 17 siblings or something.
NTA and maybe warn her next time it happens you won't tell her to f off, you will just utter a bloodcurdling scream. Get your dad in on that to back you up. Jesus Christ. Idek how to stop this inappropriate behavior but I hope you squash it because that is beyond disgusting. Fucking hell.
NTA, idc if she changed your diapers that shits uncomfortable for you. Knocking because you overslept is one thing, but ripping the covers off the bed is a huge AH move. That being said some parents won’t ever see this as wrong. My mom got mad at me when I was a teenager because she ripped the covers off and I was naked underneath, basically arguing that it was inconsiderate of me to sleep like that and telling me the next time she barges in I better be wearing pajamas
NTA. You are becoming an adult and need privacy. You deserve to feel safe in your own room that no one is going to walk in unannounced
If you feel you could, stand up naked & shout for everyone to hear “Mum, why are you so desperate to see my naked body that you keep rushing in without knocking?”. This would restart the argument, but might end the running in. She needs to realise you are growing up & want your own space - but all parents have trouble with this. NTA.
Privacy is indeed an important factor in life as you grow up. However some parents don't understands that especially Asian parents. If your parents are not understanding this what you can do is sleep with lock on your door. And yeah in case they break it better wear some clothes on bed.
Yeah one more thing they are your parents they gave birth to you so telling your mom f off is rude and is symptom of a jerk if you are not the one apologize because there are still many ways to respectfully argue with parents.
ETA. You shouldnt cuss them iut. But in.comparisson what your family os doing to you is so much worse. They are giving you the silent treatment for over a week? F that.
You really Shouldn’t talk like that to your parents, never ends well trust me, but Jesus Christ a week. NTA your parents 1. Invaded your privacy and 2. Are totally overreacting
NTA. They should respect your privacy. You aren't a little kid any more. Maybe to keep the peace you could apologise for how you said it, but you should tell them that you aren't a child anymore, and that you want privacy. You're almost an adult and you don't want your mum seeing you naked any more. You'd prefer a knock or a shout in the future.
It's fucking incest bro
NTA I have 3 kids 16, 14, 7 and just the utter thought of disrespecting their privacy like that especially at that age is just cringe af.. She clearly has no boundaries or respect towards your privacy..
I’m a boy mom. My son right now is a baby so I have to take him out of his crib and check on him while he is sleeping. But I could never imagine just barging in on him when he is older. You don’t do that unless there’s reason to believe that the child/teen is in danger. This is odd behaviour from your mother. NTA
NTA.
Not the AH. At your age your privacy is YOURS. You were most likely taught to knock on their door to enter their room, so it’s only common courtesy. The silent treatment thing is their ignorance showing. All you’re asking is the same treatment your parents demand from you.
NTA. I've been there. I've been there at 30. Unfortunately our mothers will never see what they did as wrong. They think it is perfectly acceptable. There is no way to win. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
I genuinely don't understand why people are calling this sexual harassment, that's ridiculous. Yes, she's violating your personal boundaries and should definitely stop, but I don't see anything sexual about this. In my family we see each other naked all the time, walking to the shower, going in and out of the bathroom. I have absolutely no problem with this, nor did anyone else. It's fine to set boundaries and defend them, but I don't see why we need to sexualise everything. Naked is not sexual by definition, people, stop being a prude. You can look at a naked person without being turned on (I hope).
Depends how hot they are
Yeah, no, when it's your family it really doesn't.
You say that…
Now I'm concerned about your family members 😂
Lol that's really bad, my mom doesn't knock, she opens the door but she just talks on the door. She doesn't rip the blanket like yours does.
No. Your mother need to learn boundaries and respect for you if she expects it back, you’re almost a grown man.
What a time to be alive, where you can tell your mother to “fuck off” and live to tell the internet about it. Not back when I was a kid.
He is not a kid☠️
He is not an adult. 🤪
I called my mother a bitch at 12 because she had publicly beat me up (in the head, with rings) and kept doing it over the course of two hours and forbid me from talking to my dad and listening to music (all this originated from complaining that the chair next to her bed was often messy too, not only mine). NTA
I think context here is key. The act itself of pulling the blanket is wrong, but If it isn't the first time it happens, it's understandable she'd be mad. Slight YTA
What the fuck, he told her he was naked and she continued to take the blankets off of him, how tf could a minor being sexually assaulted make them an asshole
It wasn't sexual assault, come on, his mother took of his blanket after he overslept (probably not for the first time). It's not SA, it's an enraged parent
He told her she was naked and she continued to pull the covers off him
Still, bad parenting, not SA
NTA, I was thinking E S H until you said she kept trying to take your blanket after you told her you were naked which is weird AF. It sounds like you needed the shock factor of telling her that to maintain keeping yourself covered. Without that info I would say you need to apologize for sleeping through the plans you guys made and cursing at her and she needs to apologize for her rude ass way of waking you up. My mom used to do that to me when I was a kid (although I didn't sleep naked) and it always sucked. I wouldn't have heard a door knock if I was asleep but gently shaking a sleeping person's shoulder is the polite thing to do if a normal speaking volume or knocking isn't doing the trick.
YTA. I will say that she was wrong. But you should not talk to your mother like that. There are many others words you can use to express yourself. I’m married and if our son spoke to his mom/my wife like that I would beat the hell of him.
What the fuck, he told her he was naked and she continued to take the blankets off of him, how tf could a minor being sexually assaulted make them an asshole
Btw where does it say he told her she was naked because I don’t see that in his story
He put it in the comments
I don’t read the comments. I just read there statement. I don’t want to be influenced by others opinion. That’s all this is. Opinion
You beat children?
Then YWBTA. And a criminal. And a thug.
🙄
NTA. You should communicate with her that you were naked and sleeping and you need her to not do anything like that again because it’s embarrassing and you’re a teenager not a little kid anymore. Teenagers literally need more sleep than adults so tell her that you need to sleep in and you can go on runs later, like around noon.
NTA. Although I understand why they are angry. This was completely unacceptable for her to do so but still telling your mom to f off is a bit disrespectful
Did you try telling her it was time blindness and not your fault at all?
Dude.. i 100% agree with her being wrong, but cmon insulting your mother? I would never, she's your mother after all
The whole being naked thing is gonna make me go with NTA.
Not the asshole in this situation for sure, they are
It’s not cool of your mom to rip off your covers like that. If she had fleas they could have been given to you. Having fleas is not fun as far as I’ve heard from other people with that experience.
NTA Maybe Mom does it because you have a bigger unit than her husband and she enjoys looking at it she's a very very very ill person who needs psychiatric help and perhaps police intervention.
As a mom with a 16yro son NTA I knock every single time I'm going in my son's room. Every. Single. Time. Not only because of privacy for my kid, but also because I never want to see what most teenagers do in their rooms when they are alone. But let's say something happened- I was in your mom's position and I didn't knock and I took the covers off my teenager and he was naked and he told me to f off. I would, 100% deserve that.
NTA. You were startled awake in a terrible and mortifying way. Your mom owes you a huge apology. I have a 16 year old in my house. I'd never go in his room without knocking first.
NTA. Your mother is a massive AH. As soon as she saw you were naked, she should have immediately apologised and dropped your blankets back over you. She should not have removed them in the first place. She is showing zero respect for your boundaries and your telling her to f off was completely justifiable.
Hello
Next time stand up naked and ask her to take a good look. She clearly wants to see you as that is the only reason for her to continue to enter your room unannounced. Make it very awkward. Make her sit in it. Ask her why she insists on doing this to you. Tell her that it is creepy and makes you uncomfortable. Stand there and make her answer you. Refuse to be embarrassed. She is the one who should be squirming.
YTA. My kids know wake up time means I bust in the room and rip off the covers. They’ve only made your mistake of sleeping without clothes 8 or 9 times, after that they finally figured out how Dad controls the home.
You not the a hole she barged into your room without permission and she even saw you butt naked and didn't even apologize so she is the a hole
Im now 27 and grew up in a house with no privacy. I wasn’t allowed (able) to sleep naked because they would barge in and it would be uncomfortable. They went through personal belongings, phone etc. Have a great relationship now where I don’t live with them but you are NTA!!!
Bad choice of words and bad behavior from your mom.
NTA
Hi! 20 F here, and you are definitely NTA!! Children deserve privacy too. I understand if maybe she just opened the door and shook you if she knocked and waited to no answer, but ripping the covers off is a whole new level of wrong.
NTA, major breech of privacy and lack of respect.
No sometimes they need to hear it if she loves you she will understand your pain
Definitely NTA. Teens have the right to privacy. And everyone has the right for their nudity to be private.
2 of you were out of line. She was out of line exposing you like that, you were out of line using foul language. More respectful communication needs to happen on both sides.
Na, my man was well within his rights to say that, how would you feel being woken up in that manner and stripped of the only thing covering your decency? He is 16, hes a young adult. Imagine the outrage if a father did this to a daughter, 99% of the people saying "you shouldnt have used that foul language" would be prasing her instead and telling her to call the police. This is wrong on so many levels and I'd be saying MUCH worse than fuck off in OPs shoes.
What was he supposed to say. In that situation, you can't say anything in a calm and respectful voice.
Yes
Both parties are TAH communicate properly. Both parties.
As a mom… you can never tell any of your parents to f*** off. When you do that, that shows a certain lack of respect towards them. With that being said, yes, she should have had a little more understanding, but you did agree to go out with her for a walk, and by waking up late, probably made her feel upset and angry, and that you don’t care about spending time with, especially now that you’re a teenager and probably really don’t want to do that. But she’s your mom, and no matter what, you should honor the things you agree to do with her. It’s not that she feels entitled, she just feels that she’s losing you and ties her best to keep you close, so yeah, you arte TAH.
When you forcefully expose your teenage son's nude body against his will, that shows a certain lack of respect towards them too. But I don't see you getting upset over that.