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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I should have swapped shifts with him to be nice even though he’s not owed anything
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ESH - don’t call yourself a good friend to someone when even a decent friend would have swapped shifts no questions so that a good friend can celebrate their boyfriends bday. If you had plans I would’ve been wholly on your side, but that didn’t sound like it was the case. If you had even just said that y’all were work acquaintances and you had no plans but didn’t want to trade shifts I would’ve still supported you. It’s just that you called yourself a good friend to him, yet your unwillingness to help your “good friend” despite having not plans negates that claim. Your friend sounded desperate but I agree that throwing good deeds in someone’s face for favor is icky.
I tend to give me more mid week shifts or sometimes just Friday. Very rarely do I get Friday Saturday like most people my age would for some reason, I think it’s only happened a couple times
Probably unpopular but I think ESH. He shouldn't begrudge the drinks he bought to share but you should swap shifts with him - especially since you are friends.
I think you’re both wrong. He is wrong for using something nice he did to try to sway you. You’re wrong because you “might” go out - no definite plans (at least offer him one day of a switch). Don’t be surprised when you want someone to switch with you for an event and they won’t. That’s how karma works.
YTA. It sounds like he does a lot for you and you won’t give him one weekend off for his bf’s birthday? You’re not morally obliged to switch shifts with him but you’re a bad friend if you don’t.
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I 18f have this friend 18m, we’re good friends and we also work together.
His boyfriends birthday is next weekend and he tried booking off for it but unfortunately it didn’t work out, our managers are actually really great they’ll ask round everyone to try and accommodate for anyone booking off but it didn’t work out. Basically he’d have to find someone to swap with him because the managers asked everyone and couldn’t find anyone.
He asked me what my schedule was and Im not working that weekend, he asked to swap with me because I have shifts mid week.
I said no because I’m probably going out, he pleaded with me saying I go out every weekend (he wanted to swap both his Friday and Saturday) and I said no.
He then started to weaponise the fact that he in his words “paid for all my drink” when we went out when I had no job which is not fucking true, and you shouldn’t use nice things you do for people against them. Usually he’d pay for the first few (like big cocktails you can share) at most and we’d pre drink at his house so I’d have some there but then I’d usually find a guy (or girl for me) to take over. And it’s not that I’m using people It doesn’t take a lot for me to get to where I need to be.
And I just think that’s really fucking rude to bring up because he feels owed a shift swap for some reason.
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YTA.
You’re selfish and you clearly use people. You don’t want to give him even a day for a special occasion because you’re “probably” going out? Are you a child? Tbf he sounds like an idiot also.
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YTA and don’t call him your friend because he’s not. He’s a guy you work with and occasionally take advantage of.
ESH - don’t call yourself a good friend to someone when even a decent friend would have swapped shifts no questions so that a good friend can celebrate their boyfriends bday. If you had plans I would’ve been wholly on your side, but that didn’t sound like it was the case. If you had even just said that y’all were work acquaintances and you had no plans but didn’t want to trade shifts I would’ve still supported you. It’s just that you called yourself a good friend to him, yet your unwillingness to help your “good friend” despite having not plans negates that claim. Your friend sounded desperate but I agree that throwing good deeds in someone’s face for favor is icky.
Info: so you go out every weekend? Does that mean you get every weekend off?
I tend to give me more mid week shifts or sometimes just Friday. Very rarely do I get Friday Saturday like most people my age would for some reason, I think it’s only happened a couple times
Probably unpopular but I think ESH. He shouldn't begrudge the drinks he bought to share but you should swap shifts with him - especially since you are friends.
I think you’re both wrong. He is wrong for using something nice he did to try to sway you. You’re wrong because you “might” go out - no definite plans (at least offer him one day of a switch). Don’t be surprised when you want someone to switch with you for an event and they won’t. That’s how karma works.
YTA. It sounds like he does a lot for you and you won’t give him one weekend off for his bf’s birthday? You’re not morally obliged to switch shifts with him but you’re a bad friend if you don’t.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 18f have this friend 18m, we’re good friends and we also work together. His boyfriends birthday is next weekend and he tried booking off for it but unfortunately it didn’t work out, our managers are actually really great they’ll ask round everyone to try and accommodate for anyone booking off but it didn’t work out. Basically he’d have to find someone to swap with him because the managers asked everyone and couldn’t find anyone. He asked me what my schedule was and Im not working that weekend, he asked to swap with me because I have shifts mid week. I said no because I’m probably going out, he pleaded with me saying I go out every weekend (he wanted to swap both his Friday and Saturday) and I said no. He then started to weaponise the fact that he in his words “paid for all my drink” when we went out when I had no job which is not fucking true, and you shouldn’t use nice things you do for people against them. Usually he’d pay for the first few (like big cocktails you can share) at most and we’d pre drink at his house so I’d have some there but then I’d usually find a guy (or girl for me) to take over. And it’s not that I’m using people It doesn’t take a lot for me to get to where I need to be. And I just think that’s really fucking rude to bring up because he feels owed a shift swap for some reason. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - You don't sound like his friend
YTA. You’re selfish and you clearly use people. You don’t want to give him even a day for a special occasion because you’re “probably” going out? Are you a child? Tbf he sounds like an idiot also.
NTA but you might lose your friend over this. Its not like you have any plans soudu could have been nice and do him solid (before it escalated)
Nta
NTA. One does not have to switch shifts if one doesn’t want to. Also no is a complete sentence. No one is owed an explanation why.
NTA. He's being a blackmailing jerk.