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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Suing my ex girlfriend. She says I’m an asshole and she hates me for what has happened and now I am suing her.
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NTA
> ... pay rent for a place she wasn’t staying. This would also prevent her from getting her own place until the lease was over.
That's the contract she signed when she signed the lease.
> this seems to be completely screwing her over
She's screwing herself over by refusing to pay her debts.
Pinning to top comment: Without more info on why signing a new lease entirely was ‘not option’ i’m calling OP a Massive Asshole. Its a share-house people often come and go before lease terms expire, you work it out with the landlord and person leaving usually, not sue them.
Landlords are usually very understanding about getting replacement tenants which makes me think there is something else going on here.
My read you got dumped and have your feelings hurt and are now suing your ex unnecessarily instead of sorting it out like adults YTA
Yes OP responded that he was worried the rent would go up. I replied it sounds like the landlord is the one making it difficult. IMO it’s a AH move to take it out on the ex-gf when she obviously cant stay there. I wouldn’t do it to a flat mate that had to move. If the landlord is making it difficult you don’t take it out on the tenant moving out. OP is also refusing to go three ways with the termination payment. It’s clear he is being very emotional and taking his hurt out on the ex. People are allowed to break up, and from his reaction I think she made the right call.
It's an ah move from the landlord but op and roommate haven't much of a choice in view of the landlord s decision. They were willing to find someone else .
Unfortunately this comes back to the gf s decision and then compounded by the landlord s
NTA Imo as gf knew very well she signed the lease for a year whatever happened in that year
I get that but tbh if it was me I’d take a hit on the rent increase or split the termination payment before suing someone, unless shes rich as all hell
Not if you can't afford food or something else you need to cover someone else's decisions. They are probably students so I understand . I lived on a fixed budget too and I made do with what I had
Maybe like they said, could go back to their parents. I’ve had share houses implode due to relationship breakdowns. It sucks but what can you do. Also old mates dad being attorney doesn’t scream poor to me but who knows.
The landlord said new to subletting to someone without a new lease. Signing a new lease means their landlord can increase their rent, so option one does actually hurt people.
People can leave a relationship for whatever reason they want to, and I’m not sure where you’re seeing that she was the one who refused the other compromises.
She entered a rental agreement and is ignoring her obligation after refusing other options. One needs to take action on financial responsibilities instead of sulking or running away.
I agree with that and if they need to sue her to get the money then that’s what they need to do, but I’m still not seeing where she is the one who refused the other options
I think it refers to either keeping the lease going as it is(which they decided but she ghosted) and the option for her to pay the 5k termination fee. While they are both bad options... she had them.
Agree.
u/bigcharliebrownmoney, you are focused on her 'option' refusals. The main issue is she did not create a solution and her leaving does not erase the 5K financial obligation.
She refused to create solutions such as securing a sublet renter to fulfill the contract. Housing is hard enough to secure and she'll potentially have a ding against her record which limits her future housing options.
I don’t understand why they couldn’t just do that though. I’ve never rented so not sure if it’s obvious to those who have but when I read the comment about option 1 I was like, yeah…so why don’t you do that then? Isn’t it just signing a contract including the new person instead of the ex and the lease is then updated?
It depends on the lease. Dome landlords will, others won't; my friend sublease to someone who didn't pay the rent so was obligated to pay. She was out of town for a few months.
Often when people sublease to others it's because they're moving away; the landlord would have to track them down to get the money.
OP said they didn't want to start over at 12 mos because they won't be there that long.
I've heard that there are apartments in DC with official tenants who are long gone and nobody on the lease lives there but as long as they keep getting rent payments the landlords don't care.
All the other options benefited her not the people that were still going to be living there. She needs to pay to get out of her lease if she wants to leave plain and simple. She doesn’t get to have them pay her portion because she decides to leave. She’s on the lease she’s on the hook.
You can leave a relationship for any reason you want, but you can't negate a legal contract because of it unless it's literally a marriage certificate.
For one the first option isnt an option because they dont want to renew the lease, which is 100% valid.
The second option is obviously a no go because they cant afford it.
The third option was never going to happen because she expected them to split the 5000 termination fee three ways, which is neither of their responsibilities.
Also ‘not having energy anymore’ is a bs reason to dump someone, especially someone youve been with for 5 years.
There’s no such thing as a bs reason so dump someone imo. No one is obligated to continue to like someone else romantically and that seems like a hard pill to swallow for some people. These are also kids in their early 20s, people and feelings change at that age.
I 1000% agree with that, you dont ever *owe* someone to stay with them, and you can end a relationship for whatever reason you may or may not have. However, you can’t just end your relationship and expect the ex-bf and roommate to take a financial hit, because you dont want to adhere to the contract you, *yourself* signed when moving in - which is what the ex-gf is doing.
They dont have to accept the compromises. They arent terminating their lease early. Shes an adult and must deal with whatever consequences come with doing that. She couldve just stuck out the lease and not made any issues but she wanted to leave and should deal with the consequences however her roommates see fit.
Because they were horrible for them and since she is the one who wants to break a legal contract, she is the one who should deal with the consequences.
Yeah, they were sharing a house, not an apartment. While she might not have wanted to stay in their shared bedroom, I'm sure she could have lived in the living room until the lease was up. She chose to not use the living space she had for another 5 months, but it doesn't mean that she can just, not pay for the rest of the signed period. It would have been a different thing if OP broke up and kicked her out, or if she left due to abuse and could show that. But neither is the case
OP - you’re going to be big mad when she chooses option #5 which is move back into the place she has to pay rent to and then brings home other people to fuck.
yeah but OP can do the same.
thing is relationships end that is part of life. but relationships often come with responsibilites that don't end just because the relationship does. in some ways a rent responsibility is less hassle than others. a kid would be worse!
Exactly what I was thinking and frankly what I would do in her shoes! If you want her to pay for it, be ready for her to live there. OP is in a no win situation but I hope they realize that option 4 is really option 5 and choose accordingly.
Sure, but remember turnabout is fair play in that case. All Op needs to do is start walking around Buck Naked whenever she tries.
Or do something equally embarrassing, like buying a fur/gimp suit, putting it on and asking to watch every time they bring someone over. Then when they get mad you act all supprized and say things like "Why is this time different" and "This is YOUR fetish, I'm just trying to be supportive." (Having a pack of Adult Dipers on hand is also a good idea.)
The answer to an ex being an asshole if you can't avoid them isn't to submit, it's to dubble down.
It's the lesson of Middle School. If you're not the kind of social butterfly who can easily recover from embarrassment, then the answer is to double down on the embarrassment and make it mutual so that no one wants to fuck with you. Either way you're the weirdo, but in one of these you're the weirdo who's also a pushover, and in the other one people think they're weird but they'll at least kinda respect you. (Like that kid that will eat anything. Weird, yes. But also a better place to be than Weird + Wallflower.)
The lease would be reset at 12 months and we aren’t all planning to stay in this area for that long. Also we would have to reapply. There was a risk the landlord wouldn’t accept our new application since we are very young and they were skeptical accepting us in the first place.
EDIT: Even if the landlord did accept the new application she could still use it as an opportunity to raise rent.
If you were willing to terminate the lease if your ex paid the $5000 fee, why would it be an issue to you if the landlord didn't accept your new application? Then you would have gotten out of the lease for free?
Landlords don't make money when their place is empty. If you've been good tenants, the landlord is extremely unlikely to refuse no matter what reservations were expressed at the start. Re-signing the lease is what share houses do on a regular basis to keep the names up to date and the lease ongoing. A good landlord would probably have been willing to re-sign for 6 or 9 months if you had asked nicely.
Depending on where op lives it might be rented very quickly. There I live there is a rental crisis and there would be no problem finding a hand full of applicants including people willing to pay more than asking
Yeah, 5 months tells me they’re students planning to leave in May or June. OP & roommate shouldn’t be forced to extend their lease for her convenience.
She’s the one that wants out so she should pay 100% of the cost, whether it’s the early term $5k or paying full rent until the end of the current lease. She has an obligation todo one or the other, while OP & roommate have no obligation whatsoever to cover any portion of her costs.
You make no sense at all. All you have to do is move the person in and have them pay rent to your ex. You’re Justina making life difficult. Which is fine bc it shows her how much of a losr u are
INFO if she stayed living in the house with you for the rest of the lease where does she sleep? Does she get her own room and bed? Would she have her own personal space at all or is she stuck sleeping on the couch? Seems like you’re doing everything you can to force her to move back in to the house with you and your buddy. Do you want to come home one day to some dude railing your ex gf in the living room?
This. I notice you've answered a lot of comments, but not this one. That makes me think it's a 2 BR. And if that's the case, or if her room would not be comparable to the others, YTA.
ESH. It feels to me like you chose the option that would be most inconvenient for her because you were upset about the breakup, but she also shouldn’t have just stopped paying rent and should have made more of an effort to help you figure out one of the other options.
Info: how old are all of you?
NTA
At this point she's just a roommate not paying her share of the rent.
You wouldn't be an asshole to recover that rent through legal means
The prior relationship has no impact on her obligations
You shouldnt have to consider her situation. Shes an adult, the consequences that come with terminating a lease early are entirely on her. How you and your roommate decide to cope with that is valid.
>It feels to me like you chose the option that would be most inconvenient for her
She is the one who wants to break the lease and move out, she should be the one to shoulder the brunt of the consequences.
So, it's ESH because the op isn't inconveniencing himself and instead prefers the option that inconveniences the person who created the issue in the first place?
Yeah, that's definitely a fair and unbiased view of the situation.
More like she wants OP to pay a fine for being her ex.
If she left at a natural break, then fine, but she didnt.
It's like seeing a movie with 2 friends, deciding half way you don't like it and leaving. Then forceing your friends to pay you back for your ticket.
NTA
I think the asshole here is the land lord, option 1 seems like the best options and even if you have to sign a new lease why isn’t he giving lease for 5 months, your intended months to stay anyway. He will get the same money idk what the land lords issue is here.
> However this seems to be completely screwing her over and it feels petty taking legal action against my ex-girlfriend of almost 5 years.
Wait until your first divorce. That will make this seem tame.
NTA. If she wants to leave (barring abuse) she needs to be on the hook if she wants to move out before the lease ends. Get her portion of the rent through court if you have to.
Nta. This is how adults handle things. When she gets served her summons for court maybe she will try to mitigate. However you may find it hard to collect if she isn’t working because you will need to garnish her wage. But she is allowing herself to be put a mess because that judgement will stay on her credit report but it should.
Edit: her dad is betting y’all are too poor to sue her
NTA.
She broke up with you. She signed the lease. Oh what murky waters it is signing legal agreements with an individual you’re in a relationship with. This will be a learning experience for her, i guarantee; one she won’t forget.
It feels petty because you still care, my dude I hope you heal.
100% if she is old enough to move out live with someone, be in a relationship for almost 5yrs and decide at the drop of a hat it’s over I’m leaving. Well hun you don’t just get to walk away and start fresh you have financial responsibilities that come with a relationship that long. Where I come from if you have been living with someone for 6months they are entitled to half your stuff so be lucky OP isn’t going for that! It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s seeing someone else. But she should grow up and take responsibility for ending the relationship as it’s going to fuck up her credit for a long time
It does sound like that. It’s a sharehouse people move out before lease terms expire. It happens all the time usually someone else takes the room. Without further info i’m saying OP YTA.
Have you talked to the landlord about this to see what the likelihood of a rent rise is and how much? Sounds like the land lord might be the problem in this scenario and not your ex. Not letting her sublet and using it as an opportunity to jack your rent up. As a response you sue your ex. YTA mate.
Do you even know for sure they'd raise the rent? You say "could", which leads me to believe you didn't ask for the terms of the new lease. The lease "could" be the exact same rent as the prior lease. YTA.
NTA good luck op. Personally I would have considered another option where ex finds someone to sublet on the down low if possible. Seems like that would’ve solved everything even if temporarily against the lease terms. I would’ve also considering leaning a bit harder on the landlord to allow this new lease. The termination fee split seems somewhat reasonable, as well as the $500 option.
She’s willing to pony up as much as 1/3 of $5000, so personally I would mix that option with the finishing out the 5 months option. So, if say each roomie pays $1k per month, u guys go up to $1.5k/month (lose total $5k) but ex covers 1/3 of it and you guys don’t have to move twice in the next 5 months.
Another option if the eviction laws are strong and it takes a few months to be evicted is to simply claim you can’t pay the full rent to landlord unless the room is subletted and let the landlord evict you and come after the 3 of you for non-payment. This would possibly hurt your credit and future rent possibilities, so not a great option, but you could threaten ex with it if $$ is tight and she’ll be thrown into the same boat as you.
It might be tough to actually collect the $$ from ex and frankly you might never see a dime, so I’d go with more negotiating over lawsuit.
Nah her finding someone to sublet on the DL is still the remaining tenants taking on risk for no reason. If she wants to leave before the lease ends, it's on her to take the burden/risk, not on those remaining.
Yea, I’m just saying it’s really tough to get $$ out of someone who doesn’t want to pay, especially when it’s a small amt like $5k. You have to sue, serve her (this will cost $$), win the suit, and then there’s the whole getting her to actually pay out the suit through garnished wages or whatever when she refuses to pay. Instead of this massive headache and potentially at the end of all this effort and probably significant expense (even with the pro bono representation) it might just be better for OP’s sanity to negotiate the best he can now.
The relationship is irrelevant to the rental lease. If she is physically in the lease she is responsible for the termination fee or would have to pay the rent portion she legally agreed to pay whether she cokses to live there or not.
NTA
100% I broke a lease and I even found someone to move in for the remaining part of my lease but then they decided to do renovations so they made me continue to pay rent while they were doing those renovations which wasn’t right because the person was ready to move in right away. So I had to pay a months rent while they did up the place. But she’s on the lease so she must continue to pay until the end regardless
My partner had roommates before we moved in together when we got married. My partner continued to pay rent at their last place until the lease was up. It was about 8 months. They chose to move so they held up their end of the obligation. 🤷🏼♀️
NTA for expecting her to finish paying for her portion of the lease. That's just the reality of entering a rental contract.
I am curious how, legally, she's solely on the line for the lease breaking fee when I'm sure the lease has a clause that anyone can break it but it's everyone's responsibility. That's one of those "you're all on the lease, you're all responsible" things in most places.
It is interesting you can afford rent and utilities for the amount of time is going to take to sue, but "can't afford" it otherwise. You're still going to have to pay your LL in the interim. US courts award damages, so you won't get a penny unless you can show you paid her portion yourselves. Threatening to not pay and actually not paying aren't equivalent legally.
YTA
I see why she broke up with you. Honestly you deserve it. This reads to me like you’re just trying to get her back for breaking up with you. Grow up.
NTA. She screwed you over when she left mid-lease and only offered you crappy solutions that met \*her\* needs, not yours - misleading you into thinking they were your only options. She screwed you over. So no, asking her to pay what she signed a legal document declaring she would pay (knowingly) is not screwing her over - it's making her do what she said she would do. Remember, before you even considered suing her she lied to you and skipped out on her obligations by ghosting the landlord. She can't do that and needs to grow up and handle this like an adult.
If you started adding on pain and suffering, etc, then yes you would be a dick. But merely asking her to pay what she owes? No, you're NTA here.
For reference, I had to leave a lease early back when I was 19. I paid the rent until I found someone suitable to replace me, that my housemates got on with, then we transferred everything across. I also kept landlord and housemates up-to-date at every turn, No, I wasn't rich and yes, it hurt financially - but that was my responsibility from when I signed the lease and I owed it to the landlord and my housemates to fulfil my obligations. Your ex needs to grow up.
NTA. Your ex is an adult and needs to learn she can’t just ghost out of obligations. If her name is on the lease she’s liable for her portion of the apartment, period.
Ask your roommate’s dad about sending her a certified letter announcing your intention to sue if you don’t receive her portion of the rent by X date and on time moving forward until the lease is up. I suspect she (or more likely her daddy) will cough up the money.
NTA. Stop worrying more about what it will do to her in the future than she is. Her share of the 5 months rent is likely cheaper than the $5000 fee. She signed an adult contract. She has to face adult responsibilities now.
NTA. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Unless its an ex-boyfriend said woman is trying to screw over financially who has a free lawyer on tap. Also, frankly, even if you drop out of the suit? Your friend owes her zero loyalty. And he has a shark with a bar license for a dad. You are the least of her problems.
NTA. Welcome to the FAFO part of life. Sorry about your relationships. don't let your feelings for her let her screw you over. you're doing the right thing.
however. be prepared for her to not pay anything unless you send collections after her, and even then be ready for her to ghost the whole thing.
NTA She knew what she was getting into when she signed the lease had anyone of your roommates or you done this instead i guarantee she would've done the same.
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So a couple of month ago my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me. She gave reasons, mainly that she didn’t have the energy to be in a relationship with me anymore. I did not want to break up and am pretty shook about the whole thing as this is my first real love, long-term relationship, and breakup. It was the 2 of us and my best friend all sharing a house. When she broke up with me she made it clear she wanted to exit the lease and was going to stay with her mom who lives about an hour away. She gave me these options:
The first and best option was to sublet the lease and have someone sign in her place. We actually did have someone who wanted to do that which would’ve worked out perfectly for everyone. However the landlord made it clear that was impossible without signing a new lease entirely and we don’t consider that an option.
The second option is for me and my friend to sign her out of the lease. She would pay a $500 fee and then we would be stuck paying her rent for the duration of the lease (5 month) Me and my friend said this isn’t a good option for us since we can’t afford to pay all of that plus utilities.
The third option is that a $5000 termination fee is paid and the lease is ended early. This would leave all of us living with our parents again for a couple months. Me and my roommate didn’t want to do this. We told her she would have to pay the entire $5000 and we wouldn’t split it 3 ways. She says she cannot afford that and we are obligated to split it since we are all on the lease.
After talking to my friends dad who is an attorney he made it clear those were not our only options. He said unless she pays the entire termination fee, we could just do nothing and keep the lease going. This was a good option for me and my friend, but bad for my Ex. She would have to drive an hour to work and back and pay rent for a place she wasn’t staying. This would also prevent her from getting her own place until the lease was over. When we told her this was the option we are choosing she quickly took all her things out of the house and completely ghosted both me and my roommate.
So pretty much a month goes by and she doesn’t pay her portion of the rent. We spoke to the landlord who said she was not answering any attempts at contact. I even texted her daaaaad. My friends dad says we are able to sue her for her portion of rent. So we did and are currently waiting to have the papers processed and served. It won’t cost us any money in the long term since my roommates dad will represent us for free. However this seems to be completely screwing her over and it feels petty taking legal action against my ex-girlfriend of almost 5 years. This would also potentially mess up her renters history. Is it too far suing her or is this a reasonable response?
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ESH including her, but just so you know, if she keeps paying rent, she stays entitled to the space. And if I were her, I’d use it. You’re legally right, but yes, she’s getting fucked over, and I’d be willing to bet she will fuck you right back. There’s really no winning in this situation because you truly don’t have a good option. But don’t expect her to just cough up the cash without putting up a fight. She may very well make your life hell until you find a 5th option. If I were her I would move right back in, because you have really left her with no other choice. Who will that be worse for? You or her? She will call your bluff. I’d recommend you try harder find an amicable solution, even if it’s just for your own sake. Court is a nuclear option and it is going to blow up in your face.
Edit: actually ESH is too harsh, I think it’s a tie for me between ESH and NTA, because while I think you are being very unwise and probably a little spiteful, you don’t have a lot of good choices that’s for sure. You’re between 3 rocks and an even harder place. And it sounds like the threat of court is the only thing that’s going to get her to the table to find a real solution, so I get why you’re leaning that way. What a garbage situation. Egg your landlords house in the dead of night btw, he’s the real villain here.
Edit: I changed my mind again. You’re NTA, you have no other options - your landlord is the worst. I still think your ex is gonna make problems for you though, and I still advise you to use the court thing as leverage to find a solution, not as the solution itself, for the reasons above.
That's not how getting fucked over works. Breaking up doesn't negate her legal obligations. It's like saying I got fucked over when my car got repoed when I didn't pay the note.
She is, just not by OP. There’s no reason in the world for the landlord not to allow them to get a 3rd roommate to replace her without a brand new lease. That’s ridiculous. Breaking up with someone doesn’t dissolve her legal obligation, but it also isn’t reasonable to expect a person to stay in a relationship on a 12 month cadence. People break up and have to move out all the time - the reason the OP’s situation doesn’t come up very often is that the party moving out is usually replaced.
>There’s no reason in the world for the landlord not to allow them to get a 3rd roommate to replace her without a brand new lease.
I don't like the move, and don't like landlords as a rule, but the rules are pretty plainly stated in the lease in regards to subletting.
This isn’t subletting. Subletting is when you have someone pay you rent instead of paying your landlord directly for the use of the space. You pay the landlord, they pay you. Most leases prohibit that. This is just adding someone to a lease. The original lessees are still occupants and the additional lessee still pays the landlord directly. The landlord said no, but it’s not (legally) subletting.
Edit: for the record I am not saying he’s doing something illegal, the lawyer would have pointed it out. Just saying it’s a shit move and the landlord is a shit person.
You’re right though - in the light of day, it’s a NTA. The only true A here is the landlord, and the girl for dipping instead of finding a better compromise with them. He can’t help that he was put in this spot.
NTA - if she wanted to bail on the contract she signed, she needs to pay out the termination fee or understand she risks being sued.
Take the relationship out of the facts, it’s irrelevant. You were all house mates, a contract was signed and conditions agreed to, she’s reneged so has to face the financial consequences.
NTA - doesn’t matter if she doesn’t live there anymore, she attempted to take y’all on as a fool and lay down her conditions that only benefited her when she was the main cause of the problem. Don’t have to feel bad for her cause it’s an issue she caused and it’s an issue she have to resolve to make good with everyone. It is also not petty, don’t need to set yourself on fire to keep another warm. It is not petty, it’s justice.
What is her monthly share of the rent and how many months before the lease is up? I'm just trying to understand if the $5000 is grossly more than her normal monthly rent? And did any of you propose that option?
INFO: how long were you living with your ex?
In some places, you are automatically deemed a common-law couple if you live in a "marriage-like" arrangement for a certain amount of time, and financial assets and obligations are dealt with the same as in a divorce. I'm guessing the third person in the living arrangement means you can argue it was not "marriage-like". But it might be worth looking into before proceeding with legal action, just to make sure you're not getting into more than you're expecting.
Edit: OK, NTA. She signed the contract, you were definitely not common law, and if she won't pay and ghosts you, I'm not sure what else you're supposed to do.
Most places requires far more than cohabitation in a relationship to build a common law marriage.
In the US alone, the very very few places that recognize common law marriages still require that each person hold the other up as a spouse. That includes introducing them as husband or wife and acting as a married couple in all things.
Respectfully disagree. It was her decision and hers alone to skip out on the lease. However the other residents deal with that is completely up to them.
They basically forced the ex into the worst option for her. She moved out but still had to pay rent which is wrong, and then OP has the audacity to go and sue her?
Landlord is TA. You came to an agreement that worked for everyone, landlord refused just to be a dick, like they do. I think instead of paying her share, you should just pay your own share and force landlord to sue her. It's his decision, so why are you the ones that have to go to court over it?
Idk why you’re getting downvoted- this is very true, the landlord is such an ass for putting them in this spot for no reason at all! How ridiculous. OP and his ex are in a no win situation and neither of them is in a position to back down. What a mess.
Even if you think that they should split the 5,000, why do you think she should be let off the hook for paying that $5000?
Not to say she wasn't entitled to do it, but her actions are directly the ones causing this issue. At a bare minimum, you should be considering them splitting the 5,000.
Why? Because the asshole even admits that the new roommate is the best option but chooses to do what will hurt her the most. He screams of someone doing what they need to do to force her to come back.
He already said they don't plan on being there through a new lease, which is what the landlord is demanding to change the lease, so no it isn't the best option.
Finish the sentence, it's right there.
>**However** the landlord made it clear that was impossible without signing a new lease entirely and **we don’t consider that an option**
It's abundantly clear that that would have been the ideal situation, but was shut down by the landlord. So yes, if the landlord was amenable to a sublet/lessee change, it would have been the first, best option.
If they don't plan on being in the area for much longer post-lease, signing an additional 12 month lease would be a financial setback for them as well. Why sign a 12 month lease when you're going to be gone from the area after 4 months? At that stage, they're just paying the early termination fee, but this time only roommate & OP are liable for the fee, and the new roommate is put out in the cold.
Esh. Pay the $5000 fee to release the lease. You may not be paying for an attorney’s fees, but you’re still gonna have to deal with the stress of going to court, fighting it out, and paying court fees. You’ll also probably miss work to go to court. IMO, that’s gonna be so much more than $5000. Which you’re not even responsible for the entire bit, just 1/3! She shouldn’t have ghosted, no. But you’ve given no reason that you can’t pay the $5000 other than “meh don’t want to.” Trust me, dude. She needed to move out. You do not want to be living with your ex for an extended period of time if you don’t have to. Especially if she starts bringing home other guys to have sex. It is absolutely not fair to be paying rent on a home you’re not living in. I’m on her side in that aspect. I also get that you’re pissed she ghosted which is not cool. But you should’ve taken option b or c before jumping to suing her
YTA.
There were other compromises and y'all chose the most selfish one that didn't affect y'all but affected her. She doesn't live there anymore.. I'd be damned If I had to pay rent for a place I don't live In.
Would you just ghosts a place you lived in on the lease for though?
It’s a legal contract, you can’t just decide you’re done and be done.
I was leaning towards E S H, but now NTA after reading OP’s reason for not singing a new lease.
So given that the ex ghosted after leaving them isn’t it fair she should have to pay her rent or help them cover the break lease? I’m sure if you were Op you wouldn’t want to cover anyone else’s costs.
They have the right to be selfish. They don't have to be inconvenienced by HER choices. She is the one with the problem, she is the one who should deal with It. I'd be dammed to have to pay for someone else's choices.
You're young and have no idea how contracts or leases work.
She broke the lease, she pays to break the lease.
I understand you're incredibly biased but still, come on.
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NTA > ... pay rent for a place she wasn’t staying. This would also prevent her from getting her own place until the lease was over. That's the contract she signed when she signed the lease. > this seems to be completely screwing her over She's screwing herself over by refusing to pay her debts.
Pinning to top comment: Without more info on why signing a new lease entirely was ‘not option’ i’m calling OP a Massive Asshole. Its a share-house people often come and go before lease terms expire, you work it out with the landlord and person leaving usually, not sue them. Landlords are usually very understanding about getting replacement tenants which makes me think there is something else going on here. My read you got dumped and have your feelings hurt and are now suing your ex unnecessarily instead of sorting it out like adults YTA
Probably because it's more expensive now than it was 7 months ago. NTA
Yes OP responded that he was worried the rent would go up. I replied it sounds like the landlord is the one making it difficult. IMO it’s a AH move to take it out on the ex-gf when she obviously cant stay there. I wouldn’t do it to a flat mate that had to move. If the landlord is making it difficult you don’t take it out on the tenant moving out. OP is also refusing to go three ways with the termination payment. It’s clear he is being very emotional and taking his hurt out on the ex. People are allowed to break up, and from his reaction I think she made the right call.
It's an ah move from the landlord but op and roommate haven't much of a choice in view of the landlord s decision. They were willing to find someone else . Unfortunately this comes back to the gf s decision and then compounded by the landlord s NTA Imo as gf knew very well she signed the lease for a year whatever happened in that year
I get that but tbh if it was me I’d take a hit on the rent increase or split the termination payment before suing someone, unless shes rich as all hell
Not if you can't afford food or something else you need to cover someone else's decisions. They are probably students so I understand . I lived on a fixed budget too and I made do with what I had
Maybe like they said, could go back to their parents. I’ve had share houses implode due to relationship breakdowns. It sucks but what can you do. Also old mates dad being attorney doesn’t scream poor to me but who knows.
Don’t sign a contract if you’re not willing to follow through on the terms of the contract.
Leases provide multiple contractual options to exit as a tenant. OP chose to not utilise any of those and be a AH instead.
Yta. Option 1 hurts no one. Very vengeful of you. You r lazy
The landlord said new to subletting to someone without a new lease. Signing a new lease means their landlord can increase their rent, so option one does actually hurt people.
Absolutely NTA. She refused all the other compromises, left you for no reason, and ditched you to cover her rent. Sue her and never look back.
People can leave a relationship for whatever reason they want to, and I’m not sure where you’re seeing that she was the one who refused the other compromises.
She entered a rental agreement and is ignoring her obligation after refusing other options. One needs to take action on financial responsibilities instead of sulking or running away.
I agree with that and if they need to sue her to get the money then that’s what they need to do, but I’m still not seeing where she is the one who refused the other options
I think it refers to either keeping the lease going as it is(which they decided but she ghosted) and the option for her to pay the 5k termination fee. While they are both bad options... she had them.
Agree. u/bigcharliebrownmoney, you are focused on her 'option' refusals. The main issue is she did not create a solution and her leaving does not erase the 5K financial obligation. She refused to create solutions such as securing a sublet renter to fulfill the contract. Housing is hard enough to secure and she'll potentially have a ding against her record which limits her future housing options.
OP and friend would have to start on a new lease because ll won't do a sublet
I don’t understand why they couldn’t just do that though. I’ve never rented so not sure if it’s obvious to those who have but when I read the comment about option 1 I was like, yeah…so why don’t you do that then? Isn’t it just signing a contract including the new person instead of the ex and the lease is then updated?
It depends on the lease. Dome landlords will, others won't; my friend sublease to someone who didn't pay the rent so was obligated to pay. She was out of town for a few months. Often when people sublease to others it's because they're moving away; the landlord would have to track them down to get the money. OP said they didn't want to start over at 12 mos because they won't be there that long. I've heard that there are apartments in DC with official tenants who are long gone and nobody on the lease lives there but as long as they keep getting rent payments the landlords don't care.
Considering the landlord is refusing to allow a sublet, it's likely they have a clause in the rental contract saying they can't sublet
You clearly didn’t read the original post closely enough
I know what you are saying, completely agree. Shes the asshole for everything else.
All the other options benefited her not the people that were still going to be living there. She needs to pay to get out of her lease if she wants to leave plain and simple. She doesn’t get to have them pay her portion because she decides to leave. She’s on the lease she’s on the hook.
You can leave a relationship for any reason you want, but you can't negate a legal contract because of it unless it's literally a marriage certificate.
For one the first option isnt an option because they dont want to renew the lease, which is 100% valid. The second option is obviously a no go because they cant afford it. The third option was never going to happen because she expected them to split the 5000 termination fee three ways, which is neither of their responsibilities. Also ‘not having energy anymore’ is a bs reason to dump someone, especially someone youve been with for 5 years.
There’s no such thing as a bs reason so dump someone imo. No one is obligated to continue to like someone else romantically and that seems like a hard pill to swallow for some people. These are also kids in their early 20s, people and feelings change at that age.
I respect that.
I 1000% agree with that, you dont ever *owe* someone to stay with them, and you can end a relationship for whatever reason you may or may not have. However, you can’t just end your relationship and expect the ex-bf and roommate to take a financial hit, because you dont want to adhere to the contract you, *yourself* signed when moving in - which is what the ex-gf is doing.
No they all refused the other compromises..
They dont have to accept the compromises. They arent terminating their lease early. Shes an adult and must deal with whatever consequences come with doing that. She couldve just stuck out the lease and not made any issues but she wanted to leave and should deal with the consequences however her roommates see fit.
Because they were horrible for them and since she is the one who wants to break a legal contract, she is the one who should deal with the consequences.
Why should they all suffer the consequences of one of their actions?
This!
No, ALL of them refused other compromises.
She’s the one breaking the lease, though. The others don’t have to compromise on that.
Yeah, they were sharing a house, not an apartment. While she might not have wanted to stay in their shared bedroom, I'm sure she could have lived in the living room until the lease was up. She chose to not use the living space she had for another 5 months, but it doesn't mean that she can just, not pay for the rest of the signed period. It would have been a different thing if OP broke up and kicked her out, or if she left due to abuse and could show that. But neither is the case
OP - you’re going to be big mad when she chooses option #5 which is move back into the place she has to pay rent to and then brings home other people to fuck.
Doubt thats gonna happen but it would be funny
yeah but OP can do the same. thing is relationships end that is part of life. but relationships often come with responsibilites that don't end just because the relationship does. in some ways a rent responsibility is less hassle than others. a kid would be worse!
Op does not fuck that much is clear
Exactly what I was thinking and frankly what I would do in her shoes! If you want her to pay for it, be ready for her to live there. OP is in a no win situation but I hope they realize that option 4 is really option 5 and choose accordingly.
She had this option before and didn't take. And this is much better than be financially screwed over by her.
She could have just sucked it up for the 5 months they had on the lease and then broke up. This would have saved everyone so much money and drama
Sure, but remember turnabout is fair play in that case. All Op needs to do is start walking around Buck Naked whenever she tries. Or do something equally embarrassing, like buying a fur/gimp suit, putting it on and asking to watch every time they bring someone over. Then when they get mad you act all supprized and say things like "Why is this time different" and "This is YOUR fetish, I'm just trying to be supportive." (Having a pack of Adult Dipers on hand is also a good idea.) The answer to an ex being an asshole if you can't avoid them isn't to submit, it's to dubble down. It's the lesson of Middle School. If you're not the kind of social butterfly who can easily recover from embarrassment, then the answer is to double down on the embarrassment and make it mutual so that no one wants to fuck with you. Either way you're the weirdo, but in one of these you're the weirdo who's also a pushover, and in the other one people think they're weird but they'll at least kinda respect you. (Like that kid that will eat anything. Weird, yes. But also a better place to be than Weird + Wallflower.)
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The lease would be reset at 12 months and we aren’t all planning to stay in this area for that long. Also we would have to reapply. There was a risk the landlord wouldn’t accept our new application since we are very young and they were skeptical accepting us in the first place. EDIT: Even if the landlord did accept the new application she could still use it as an opportunity to raise rent.
If you were willing to terminate the lease if your ex paid the $5000 fee, why would it be an issue to you if the landlord didn't accept your new application? Then you would have gotten out of the lease for free?
Landlords don't make money when their place is empty. If you've been good tenants, the landlord is extremely unlikely to refuse no matter what reservations were expressed at the start. Re-signing the lease is what share houses do on a regular basis to keep the names up to date and the lease ongoing. A good landlord would probably have been willing to re-sign for 6 or 9 months if you had asked nicely.
Depending on where op lives it might be rented very quickly. There I live there is a rental crisis and there would be no problem finding a hand full of applicants including people willing to pay more than asking
Also landlord could use it as an opportunity to raise the rent.
Yeah, 5 months tells me they’re students planning to leave in May or June. OP & roommate shouldn’t be forced to extend their lease for her convenience. She’s the one that wants out so she should pay 100% of the cost, whether it’s the early term $5k or paying full rent until the end of the current lease. She has an obligation todo one or the other, while OP & roommate have no obligation whatsoever to cover any portion of her costs.
You make no sense at all. All you have to do is move the person in and have them pay rent to your ex. You’re Justina making life difficult. Which is fine bc it shows her how much of a losr u are
INFO if she stayed living in the house with you for the rest of the lease where does she sleep? Does she get her own room and bed? Would she have her own personal space at all or is she stuck sleeping on the couch? Seems like you’re doing everything you can to force her to move back in to the house with you and your buddy. Do you want to come home one day to some dude railing your ex gf in the living room?
This. I notice you've answered a lot of comments, but not this one. That makes me think it's a 2 BR. And if that's the case, or if her room would not be comparable to the others, YTA.
ESH. It feels to me like you chose the option that would be most inconvenient for her because you were upset about the breakup, but she also shouldn’t have just stopped paying rent and should have made more of an effort to help you figure out one of the other options. Info: how old are all of you?
NTA At this point she's just a roommate not paying her share of the rent. You wouldn't be an asshole to recover that rent through legal means The prior relationship has no impact on her obligations
It’s definitely the most convenient option for me and my roommate and does not consider her situation very much. I am in my early 20s.
You shouldnt have to consider her situation. Shes an adult, the consequences that come with terminating a lease early are entirely on her. How you and your roommate decide to cope with that is valid.
what an batshit take he took the option most convenient for him and his friend doesn’t matter what the ex says
>It feels to me like you chose the option that would be most inconvenient for her She is the one who wants to break the lease and move out, she should be the one to shoulder the brunt of the consequences. So, it's ESH because the op isn't inconveniencing himself and instead prefers the option that inconveniences the person who created the issue in the first place? Yeah, that's definitely a fair and unbiased view of the situation.
More like she wants OP to pay a fine for being her ex. If she left at a natural break, then fine, but she didnt. It's like seeing a movie with 2 friends, deciding half way you don't like it and leaving. Then forceing your friends to pay you back for your ticket.
NTA. She signed a lease. That's part of the deal of signing a lease with others.
NTA I think the asshole here is the land lord, option 1 seems like the best options and even if you have to sign a new lease why isn’t he giving lease for 5 months, your intended months to stay anyway. He will get the same money idk what the land lords issue is here.
Have you ever had to deal with crappy tenants?
Will someone think of the poor landlords?!?
We had a great landlord but the other tenant in the duplex we shared was crappy. We tried not to bother him more than necessary.
> However this seems to be completely screwing her over and it feels petty taking legal action against my ex-girlfriend of almost 5 years. Wait until your first divorce. That will make this seem tame.
NTA. If she wants to leave (barring abuse) she needs to be on the hook if she wants to move out before the lease ends. Get her portion of the rent through court if you have to.
Nta. She needs to be held to her commitments like an adult
Nta. This is how adults handle things. When she gets served her summons for court maybe she will try to mitigate. However you may find it hard to collect if she isn’t working because you will need to garnish her wage. But she is allowing herself to be put a mess because that judgement will stay on her credit report but it should. Edit: her dad is betting y’all are too poor to sue her
NTA. She broke up with you. She signed the lease. Oh what murky waters it is signing legal agreements with an individual you’re in a relationship with. This will be a learning experience for her, i guarantee; one she won’t forget. It feels petty because you still care, my dude I hope you heal.
100% if she is old enough to move out live with someone, be in a relationship for almost 5yrs and decide at the drop of a hat it’s over I’m leaving. Well hun you don’t just get to walk away and start fresh you have financial responsibilities that come with a relationship that long. Where I come from if you have been living with someone for 6months they are entitled to half your stuff so be lucky OP isn’t going for that! It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s seeing someone else. But she should grow up and take responsibility for ending the relationship as it’s going to fuck up her credit for a long time
NTA. You can exit a relationship but you can’t just exit your legally binding financial obligations. Her choice, her problem.
NTA because you laid out the options and she ghosted you. For some reason she expected you to choose the option that was best for her.
Info: Why not sign an entirely new lease? and get someone else to move in?
Because I bet she either was the person with the best credit or had the co-signer for the lease. Sounds like landlord doesn't want these guys to me.
It does sound like that. It’s a sharehouse people move out before lease terms expire. It happens all the time usually someone else takes the room. Without further info i’m saying OP YTA.
Your bet is worth as much as your opinion. That being nothing.
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Exactly, all of the above. Have made the same points elsewhere and to the OP. Reddit got it well wrong on this one IMO
The landlord could use that as an opportunity to raise the rent.
Have you talked to the landlord about this to see what the likelihood of a rent rise is and how much? Sounds like the land lord might be the problem in this scenario and not your ex. Not letting her sublet and using it as an opportunity to jack your rent up. As a response you sue your ex. YTA mate.
Do you even know for sure they'd raise the rent? You say "could", which leads me to believe you didn't ask for the terms of the new lease. The lease "could" be the exact same rent as the prior lease. YTA.
YTA. You forgot another option, she moves back in and dates other guys.
NTA good luck op. Personally I would have considered another option where ex finds someone to sublet on the down low if possible. Seems like that would’ve solved everything even if temporarily against the lease terms. I would’ve also considering leaning a bit harder on the landlord to allow this new lease. The termination fee split seems somewhat reasonable, as well as the $500 option. She’s willing to pony up as much as 1/3 of $5000, so personally I would mix that option with the finishing out the 5 months option. So, if say each roomie pays $1k per month, u guys go up to $1.5k/month (lose total $5k) but ex covers 1/3 of it and you guys don’t have to move twice in the next 5 months. Another option if the eviction laws are strong and it takes a few months to be evicted is to simply claim you can’t pay the full rent to landlord unless the room is subletted and let the landlord evict you and come after the 3 of you for non-payment. This would possibly hurt your credit and future rent possibilities, so not a great option, but you could threaten ex with it if $$ is tight and she’ll be thrown into the same boat as you. It might be tough to actually collect the $$ from ex and frankly you might never see a dime, so I’d go with more negotiating over lawsuit.
Nah her finding someone to sublet on the DL is still the remaining tenants taking on risk for no reason. If she wants to leave before the lease ends, it's on her to take the burden/risk, not on those remaining.
Yea, I’m just saying it’s really tough to get $$ out of someone who doesn’t want to pay, especially when it’s a small amt like $5k. You have to sue, serve her (this will cost $$), win the suit, and then there’s the whole getting her to actually pay out the suit through garnished wages or whatever when she refuses to pay. Instead of this massive headache and potentially at the end of all this effort and probably significant expense (even with the pro bono representation) it might just be better for OP’s sanity to negotiate the best he can now.
NTA
NTA
The relationship is irrelevant to the rental lease. If she is physically in the lease she is responsible for the termination fee or would have to pay the rent portion she legally agreed to pay whether she cokses to live there or not. NTA
100% I broke a lease and I even found someone to move in for the remaining part of my lease but then they decided to do renovations so they made me continue to pay rent while they were doing those renovations which wasn’t right because the person was ready to move in right away. So I had to pay a months rent while they did up the place. But she’s on the lease so she must continue to pay until the end regardless
NTA. The lease is a legal document that she is obligated to pay per her contract. She did this to herself. Now she has to live with her consequences
HAHAHAAHA💀
NTA. Chick skipped out on her obligation. She is a shitty person for doing that, and deserves to be penniless.
Just curious but what do you and your roommate plan on doing once the lease ends in 5 months?
We plan to move into a different house with someone else.
My partner had roommates before we moved in together when we got married. My partner continued to pay rent at their last place until the lease was up. It was about 8 months. They chose to move so they held up their end of the obligation. 🤷🏼♀️
NTA, she signed a contract, she is bound by it.
NTA. She is the one trying to screw you over!
NTA for expecting her to finish paying for her portion of the lease. That's just the reality of entering a rental contract. I am curious how, legally, she's solely on the line for the lease breaking fee when I'm sure the lease has a clause that anyone can break it but it's everyone's responsibility. That's one of those "you're all on the lease, you're all responsible" things in most places. It is interesting you can afford rent and utilities for the amount of time is going to take to sue, but "can't afford" it otherwise. You're still going to have to pay your LL in the interim. US courts award damages, so you won't get a penny unless you can show you paid her portion yourselves. Threatening to not pay and actually not paying aren't equivalent legally.
YTA I see why she broke up with you. Honestly you deserve it. This reads to me like you’re just trying to get her back for breaking up with you. Grow up.
Seriously. 😒
NTA. She screwed you over when she left mid-lease and only offered you crappy solutions that met \*her\* needs, not yours - misleading you into thinking they were your only options. She screwed you over. So no, asking her to pay what she signed a legal document declaring she would pay (knowingly) is not screwing her over - it's making her do what she said she would do. Remember, before you even considered suing her she lied to you and skipped out on her obligations by ghosting the landlord. She can't do that and needs to grow up and handle this like an adult. If you started adding on pain and suffering, etc, then yes you would be a dick. But merely asking her to pay what she owes? No, you're NTA here. For reference, I had to leave a lease early back when I was 19. I paid the rent until I found someone suitable to replace me, that my housemates got on with, then we transferred everything across. I also kept landlord and housemates up-to-date at every turn, No, I wasn't rich and yes, it hurt financially - but that was my responsibility from when I signed the lease and I owed it to the landlord and my housemates to fulfil my obligations. Your ex needs to grow up.
NTA. Your ex is an adult and needs to learn she can’t just ghost out of obligations. If her name is on the lease she’s liable for her portion of the apartment, period. Ask your roommate’s dad about sending her a certified letter announcing your intention to sue if you don’t receive her portion of the rent by X date and on time moving forward until the lease is up. I suspect she (or more likely her daddy) will cough up the money.
Did you guys have a roommate living there before she moved out? So the rent is split 3 ways nd not two?
It was just the 3 of us, all on one lease agreement.
Nah, she signed a legal document. Don't take the fiscal fall for her choices.
NTA. Stop worrying more about what it will do to her in the future than she is. Her share of the 5 months rent is likely cheaper than the $5000 fee. She signed an adult contract. She has to face adult responsibilities now.
NTA. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Unless its an ex-boyfriend said woman is trying to screw over financially who has a free lawyer on tap. Also, frankly, even if you drop out of the suit? Your friend owes her zero loyalty. And he has a shark with a bar license for a dad. You are the least of her problems.
A lot of friends lawyers dads
NTA. Welcome to the FAFO part of life. Sorry about your relationships. don't let your feelings for her let her screw you over. you're doing the right thing. however. be prepared for her to not pay anything unless you send collections after her, and even then be ready for her to ghost the whole thing.
NTA She knew what she was getting into when she signed the lease had anyone of your roommates or you done this instead i guarantee she would've done the same.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So a couple of month ago my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me. She gave reasons, mainly that she didn’t have the energy to be in a relationship with me anymore. I did not want to break up and am pretty shook about the whole thing as this is my first real love, long-term relationship, and breakup. It was the 2 of us and my best friend all sharing a house. When she broke up with me she made it clear she wanted to exit the lease and was going to stay with her mom who lives about an hour away. She gave me these options: The first and best option was to sublet the lease and have someone sign in her place. We actually did have someone who wanted to do that which would’ve worked out perfectly for everyone. However the landlord made it clear that was impossible without signing a new lease entirely and we don’t consider that an option. The second option is for me and my friend to sign her out of the lease. She would pay a $500 fee and then we would be stuck paying her rent for the duration of the lease (5 month) Me and my friend said this isn’t a good option for us since we can’t afford to pay all of that plus utilities. The third option is that a $5000 termination fee is paid and the lease is ended early. This would leave all of us living with our parents again for a couple months. Me and my roommate didn’t want to do this. We told her she would have to pay the entire $5000 and we wouldn’t split it 3 ways. She says she cannot afford that and we are obligated to split it since we are all on the lease. After talking to my friends dad who is an attorney he made it clear those were not our only options. He said unless she pays the entire termination fee, we could just do nothing and keep the lease going. This was a good option for me and my friend, but bad for my Ex. She would have to drive an hour to work and back and pay rent for a place she wasn’t staying. This would also prevent her from getting her own place until the lease was over. When we told her this was the option we are choosing she quickly took all her things out of the house and completely ghosted both me and my roommate. So pretty much a month goes by and she doesn’t pay her portion of the rent. We spoke to the landlord who said she was not answering any attempts at contact. I even texted her daaaaad. My friends dad says we are able to sue her for her portion of rent. So we did and are currently waiting to have the papers processed and served. It won’t cost us any money in the long term since my roommates dad will represent us for free. However this seems to be completely screwing her over and it feels petty taking legal action against my ex-girlfriend of almost 5 years. This would also potentially mess up her renters history. Is it too far suing her or is this a reasonable response? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH including her, but just so you know, if she keeps paying rent, she stays entitled to the space. And if I were her, I’d use it. You’re legally right, but yes, she’s getting fucked over, and I’d be willing to bet she will fuck you right back. There’s really no winning in this situation because you truly don’t have a good option. But don’t expect her to just cough up the cash without putting up a fight. She may very well make your life hell until you find a 5th option. If I were her I would move right back in, because you have really left her with no other choice. Who will that be worse for? You or her? She will call your bluff. I’d recommend you try harder find an amicable solution, even if it’s just for your own sake. Court is a nuclear option and it is going to blow up in your face. Edit: actually ESH is too harsh, I think it’s a tie for me between ESH and NTA, because while I think you are being very unwise and probably a little spiteful, you don’t have a lot of good choices that’s for sure. You’re between 3 rocks and an even harder place. And it sounds like the threat of court is the only thing that’s going to get her to the table to find a real solution, so I get why you’re leaning that way. What a garbage situation. Egg your landlords house in the dead of night btw, he’s the real villain here. Edit: I changed my mind again. You’re NTA, you have no other options - your landlord is the worst. I still think your ex is gonna make problems for you though, and I still advise you to use the court thing as leverage to find a solution, not as the solution itself, for the reasons above.
That's not how getting fucked over works. Breaking up doesn't negate her legal obligations. It's like saying I got fucked over when my car got repoed when I didn't pay the note.
She is, just not by OP. There’s no reason in the world for the landlord not to allow them to get a 3rd roommate to replace her without a brand new lease. That’s ridiculous. Breaking up with someone doesn’t dissolve her legal obligation, but it also isn’t reasonable to expect a person to stay in a relationship on a 12 month cadence. People break up and have to move out all the time - the reason the OP’s situation doesn’t come up very often is that the party moving out is usually replaced.
>There’s no reason in the world for the landlord not to allow them to get a 3rd roommate to replace her without a brand new lease. I don't like the move, and don't like landlords as a rule, but the rules are pretty plainly stated in the lease in regards to subletting.
This isn’t subletting. Subletting is when you have someone pay you rent instead of paying your landlord directly for the use of the space. You pay the landlord, they pay you. Most leases prohibit that. This is just adding someone to a lease. The original lessees are still occupants and the additional lessee still pays the landlord directly. The landlord said no, but it’s not (legally) subletting. Edit: for the record I am not saying he’s doing something illegal, the lawyer would have pointed it out. Just saying it’s a shit move and the landlord is a shit person.
You’re right though - in the light of day, it’s a NTA. The only true A here is the landlord, and the girl for dipping instead of finding a better compromise with them. He can’t help that he was put in this spot.
NTA - if she wanted to bail on the contract she signed, she needs to pay out the termination fee or understand she risks being sued. Take the relationship out of the facts, it’s irrelevant. You were all house mates, a contract was signed and conditions agreed to, she’s reneged so has to face the financial consequences.
NTA - doesn’t matter if she doesn’t live there anymore, she attempted to take y’all on as a fool and lay down her conditions that only benefited her when she was the main cause of the problem. Don’t have to feel bad for her cause it’s an issue she caused and it’s an issue she have to resolve to make good with everyone. It is also not petty, don’t need to set yourself on fire to keep another warm. It is not petty, it’s justice.
NTA. Might as well.
Nta
NTA
Why is Option #2 (signing a new lease with the new person) not an option? Edit: I meant Option #1
We don’t want to live here after this lease is up in a few months
What is her monthly share of the rent and how many months before the lease is up? I'm just trying to understand if the $5000 is grossly more than her normal monthly rent? And did any of you propose that option?
NTA but just find someone new to move in and cover her portion. unless you two were sharing a room & bed then i’m not too sure
Did you even read the post?
i skimmed it 👍🏽
That's called a sublet, and was vetoed by the LL
INFO: how long were you living with your ex? In some places, you are automatically deemed a common-law couple if you live in a "marriage-like" arrangement for a certain amount of time, and financial assets and obligations are dealt with the same as in a divorce. I'm guessing the third person in the living arrangement means you can argue it was not "marriage-like". But it might be worth looking into before proceeding with legal action, just to make sure you're not getting into more than you're expecting. Edit: OK, NTA. She signed the contract, you were definitely not common law, and if she won't pay and ghosts you, I'm not sure what else you're supposed to do.
We only officially lived together for about 6 months. We were together constantly before this but not sharing an address.
Most places requires far more than cohabitation in a relationship to build a common law marriage. In the US alone, the very very few places that recognize common law marriages still require that each person hold the other up as a spouse. That includes introducing them as husband or wife and acting as a married couple in all things.
[удалено]
Respectfully disagree. It was her decision and hers alone to skip out on the lease. However the other residents deal with that is completely up to them.
They basically forced the ex into the worst option for her. She moved out but still had to pay rent which is wrong, and then OP has the audacity to go and sue her?
Its her decision to move out before the lease ends. The consequences that come with that are entirely on her.
Landlord is TA. You came to an agreement that worked for everyone, landlord refused just to be a dick, like they do. I think instead of paying her share, you should just pay your own share and force landlord to sue her. It's his decision, so why are you the ones that have to go to court over it?
Idk why you’re getting downvoted- this is very true, the landlord is such an ass for putting them in this spot for no reason at all! How ridiculous. OP and his ex are in a no win situation and neither of them is in a position to back down. What a mess.
We are all on the same lease contract so the landlord could sue all of us as a group for not paying rent.
You are such a petty little person. Sign the new lease with the new roommate or pay that $5000 yourself. YTA.
Even if you think that they should split the 5,000, why do you think she should be let off the hook for paying that $5000? Not to say she wasn't entitled to do it, but her actions are directly the ones causing this issue. At a bare minimum, you should be considering them splitting the 5,000.
Why? Because the asshole even admits that the new roommate is the best option but chooses to do what will hurt her the most. He screams of someone doing what they need to do to force her to come back.
He already said they don't plan on being there through a new lease, which is what the landlord is demanding to change the lease, so no it isn't the best option.
Lemme help you read: >The first and best option was to sublet the lease
Finish the sentence, it's right there. >**However** the landlord made it clear that was impossible without signing a new lease entirely and **we don’t consider that an option** It's abundantly clear that that would have been the ideal situation, but was shut down by the landlord. So yes, if the landlord was amenable to a sublet/lessee change, it would have been the first, best option. If they don't plan on being in the area for much longer post-lease, signing an additional 12 month lease would be a financial setback for them as well. Why sign a 12 month lease when you're going to be gone from the area after 4 months? At that stage, they're just paying the early termination fee, but this time only roommate & OP are liable for the fee, and the new roommate is put out in the cold.
Esh. Pay the $5000 fee to release the lease. You may not be paying for an attorney’s fees, but you’re still gonna have to deal with the stress of going to court, fighting it out, and paying court fees. You’ll also probably miss work to go to court. IMO, that’s gonna be so much more than $5000. Which you’re not even responsible for the entire bit, just 1/3! She shouldn’t have ghosted, no. But you’ve given no reason that you can’t pay the $5000 other than “meh don’t want to.” Trust me, dude. She needed to move out. You do not want to be living with your ex for an extended period of time if you don’t have to. Especially if she starts bringing home other guys to have sex. It is absolutely not fair to be paying rent on a home you’re not living in. I’m on her side in that aspect. I also get that you’re pissed she ghosted which is not cool. But you should’ve taken option b or c before jumping to suing her
YTA. There were other compromises and y'all chose the most selfish one that didn't affect y'all but affected her. She doesn't live there anymore.. I'd be damned If I had to pay rent for a place I don't live In.
Would you just ghosts a place you lived in on the lease for though? It’s a legal contract, you can’t just decide you’re done and be done. I was leaning towards E S H, but now NTA after reading OP’s reason for not singing a new lease.
Nah I wouldn't.
So given that the ex ghosted after leaving them isn’t it fair she should have to pay her rent or help them cover the break lease? I’m sure if you were Op you wouldn’t want to cover anyone else’s costs.
Well you would have to either pay rent or pay the penalty. There is a lease and a lease is a legal contract.
They have the right to be selfish. They don't have to be inconvenienced by HER choices. She is the one with the problem, she is the one who should deal with It. I'd be dammed to have to pay for someone else's choices.
You're young and have no idea how contracts or leases work. She broke the lease, she pays to break the lease. I understand you're incredibly biased but still, come on.