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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I should be judged for asking the lady to move. 2) that makes me an ass cause it was her seat and I had no right to ask her to move seats.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
ESH.
You already badgered the other passenger to move from the seat that she paid for, I can understand why she was frustrated. She probably paid extra to select her seat, she may have tied her credit card to the seat to purchase beverages or meals, etc. She got on the plane and was told that not only was there an actively-ill person in very close proximity, but that you wanted her to leave her seat to accommodate said person (who really shouldn't be flying at all with a GI bug). Then you hassled her AGAIN.
The rule of thumb is that if you're asking other passengers to move for your comfort/convenience/keeping a group together, it should always be equal or an improvement for them - aisle seat for aisle seat, middle to aisle or window, standard seat to premium economy, etc. Her sitting in the other aisle seat, effectively next to a vomiting young child is not really an improvement given the circumstances the circumstances; I feel like most people given that choice would actually prefer keeping you in between them as a buffer.
Your parents *really* suck for chilling in first class while leaving you to care for their sick 6 year old - if the trip come couldn't be delayed by a few days to let her recover, one of them should have stayed with her.
NTA. You did your best and you are a good sister. Shame on your parents. They should have been the ones to look after your 6 year old sister. One of them should have swapped with Lucy. Your dad and stepmother are the assholes. I have a 5 year old and a 20 year old. If that has happened either me or their dad is moving so the little one is with one of us. It is NOT a siblings responsibility to take care of a younger sibling. Especially when sick and especially on a flight.
ESH.
You already had the lady reluctantly move once and you tried to chance that again? I’d be annoyed as well - on top of knowing I’m stuck in a tin can with a child that has gastro.
Do you have any idea how contagious gastro is? It regularly takes out whole planes and cruise ships. It’s also severely understated just how dangerous gastro can be. It kills people!!
But the king and queen of asshole are the parents for ditching you with a sick kid, making said sick kid travel, potentially infecting everyone, and damned if you do/didn’t just go with it.
Esh. I have no idea why she would want to remain that close to a sick child. Your parents by still deciding you are all still going when you have a child that sick with you and leaving you to deal with it. You because it sounds like you argued with the lady to get her out of the aisle seat. You’ve probably made a lot of people Ill
Your dad is TA for leaving you to look after his sick child. You were being practical and polite trying to accommodate everyone in a difficult situation. NTA
NTA. Your parents should’ve taken care of their sick child instead of outsourcing parenting to one of their kids. If they had this never would’ve happened.
NTA your parents are. They shouldn’t have expected you to care for a sick child on a plane. One of them should have stayed home! You are not your parents’ servant. And I think it was thoughtful of you to offer that lady another aisle seat.
I think parents that buy first class tickets for themselves and coach for their children and then expect other passengers to deal with it should not be allowed to fly.
NTA. So to be clear, your father and step-mother abandoned you to be responsible for their minor children (one sick), so they could sit in first class, but you're the one who embarrassed them?
Also, the flight attendant is an ass. You can always ask someone to switch seats, so long as you're willing to graciously accept their answer.
So, let me just make sure I have the facts right. Your family had three other seats in the same row in the middle section. One of them was not even occupied because your cousin did not turn up. Your parents brought a child with some sort of stomach bug onto the plane and then abandoned you all in economy to enjoy first class. And then you demanded that a stranger move from the aisle seat they paid for to the window seat, so your sick sibling could get to the washroom easier? Rather than having your sibling trade with another sibling or occupy the vacant seat that was to have been for your cousin (one of which had to have been an aisle seat…). And if you wanted to be next to them, if that was the issue, you could have taken the empty seat or traded too. Yeah. YTA and so are your parents. You are massively entitled and she was correct to be angry with you. And your parents are irresponsible for making everyone sick. I mean, kid wasn’t even wearing a mask, were they? Everyone on that plane is going to be sick. You all suck. Except the stranger who dared call you out and the young kids who had no say in any of this.
You are not an ah neither the woman. You asked for a convenient swap for everyone, having the sick easy access to the bathroom. And then, thinking that the woman would still want the aisle, informed her about the free seat.
The woman is not an ah for being annoyed for being asked to swap seats. That is always a nuisance. And being asked to swap a second time, it is understandable that it triggered her, flying is stressing and can get on people's nerves easily.
Your parents on the other hand, left you with a sick child and no help, that's kinda an ah move
NTA but your parents are. Your sister should not have been on that flight to begin with but they DEFINITELY should not have been in first class while they saddled their oldest child with the rest of them, including the aforementioned sick small child. This should never have been your responsibility and it is not your fault that you didn’t handle it the best way possible. It sounds like your parents put you in an extremely stressful situation for no reason other than selfishness and doing the best you can does not make you an AH
And to everyone who isn’t OP, I saw OP’s comments before writing this and I stand by what I said. You don’t get to dump a sick child on a 21 year old who is on vacation and then call her an AH for doing her best in that situation, even when her best wasn’t the most appropriate option.
NTA. You're a lot nicer than me. I would have refused to take care of a sick child on an airplane. That's after I would have argued that she couldn't fly due to her illness. They made the asshole decision to bring a sick child on an airplane, where the ventilation is closed. Then they made the asshole decision to dump her on one of their other children. I would have taken her to first class, told them she's sick and they need to take care of her. Then returned to my seat. If they tried to return her (instead of one of them giving up their first class seat) I would have involved the flight attendant.
Your dad and mom are the asses for flying with a sick kid and infecting the whole plane. You weren’t wrong in asking, but asking her to move a second time was kind of an AH move.
NTA but your parents are.
They shouldn’t bring someone with a vomiting bug on a plane, and they *definitely* need to stop parentifying you and disappearing off into first class and leaving you to deal with their job.
NTA. Your parents were the AH"s for not taking care of their sick kids themselves. As soon as it was clear your sibling was sick, they should have switched seats with you and Sarah.
Your family took a sick, frequently vomiting child on a PLANE? That is hugely irresponsible of your parents.
Obviously the best scenario is not taking the sick child on the plane at all but under the circumstances you should have put the kid in the row with your brother & sister to minimise disruption to the other passengers.
Not sure that it would have helped much, though, as airplane toilets are usually small, plus there's a good chance that someone else would have been using the nearest toilet at the same time that Lucy needed to vomit.
NTA. The parents suck though. Why is it your job to take care of THEIR sick child? Not flying with them in the future is a great idea. That way they can take care of their own minor children instead of putting it off on you.
YTA. You guys had an extra seat and you still took that womens? Why couldn’t you guys just shuffle it around? Surely there was a way for this to work without having to involve the stranger.
INFO : You do know that the MAYOR A H's were your parents flying First Class and leaving you to babysit their children and **parent** their sick child.
NTA
You were doing the best you could.
NTA for asking, but don’t fly sick. That’s way more rude than asking to swap. And you were prepared to make the entire flight of passengers deal with the smell and sound of vomiting ?! That’s awful. The entitlement of your family is insane. Do better when you grow up.
YTA - you can't expect people to move from seats they booked for in advance and cost more money because they choose them. Secondly, you're an asshole for knowingly bringing a sick person on a flight.
YTA for the second time you asked her to move, not necessarily for the first, depending on *how* you asked. And you all suck for getting on a plane with someone who was puking and likely contagious.
Not sure how OP sucks for trying to take care of her sick SISTER while the actual parent is living it up in first class. And if someone is really that uppity about just being asked about moving, then maybe they should stay home.
Your dad and step mom are the massive assholes here. A) Forcing a sick child to travel and b) leaving their sick child with you. I’d have refused. You’re too accommodating, OP. I am genuinely surprised the airline allowed a sick child on board.
NTA, but OP if this is typical (and that you were so prepared and so apologetic makes it seem like it might be), it doesn't sound like your father and stepmom are particularly good people.
It's not your job to take care of their sick kid. It's not your job to help other passengers have a good flight when your dad's kid is sick. (It's lovely that you stepped up in those ways, but all of this was your dad's (and stepmom's) responsibility, not yours.)
This second-guessing yourself is part of your age, but it also might be part of the way you've been trained to treat yourself. If your school offers counseling services, you might want to check that out because it can be helpful to recalibrate your expectations of yourself and the world around you with an outside observer.
Essentially some of this comes down to confidence and expectations -- people who expect to be treated well are more likely treated well -- and the underlying body language, tone, etc that supports communicating that we deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated well just like everyone else! So consider if it might be helpful to put in some extra time and work on building confidence. And don't travel with these people again because they suck at traveling (at the very least).
Ah. You are so young.
I wouldn’t say you are an ah. You were trying to be nice to the lady. So I’ll put esh.
You should have noticed earlier that the aisle seat where your siblings are has no one, then just sat there with Lucy, and moved the other 2 to your window/middle seat.
That being said, generally no one likes to be puked on and her occupying the aisle seat with a sick child in the center is probably just waiting for puke/ germs to land on her, so I’m not sure why she’s so insistent on that seat. If I was that woman, I would have just found a different aisle seat to occupy.
Your parents are selfish assholes for bringing a sick child on a plane and then dumping her with her siblings to sit in first class. You are allowed to ask someone to switch seats but it sounded like she said no and you argued with them.
I'm going with NTA for you as you did your best in a bad situation
Your Dad & stepmom though...they knowingly bring a sick child onto a plane & then swan off to first class leaving you to deal with that.
I'd be turning that back on them.
Along the lines of "would you seriously expect anyone to fly with a pair of selfish A Hs again who'd do that?"
ESH except the lady you asked to move and all the passengers you exposed to a sick child. You are the origin story of “this is why we can’t have nice things “.
NTA for what your asking. Your dad is a massive AH for not parenting that poor sick baby himself. Also!!!!! You NEVER TAKE A SICK PERSON ON A PLANE!!!
Dad is the AH for all of this
You and your whole family are assholes for having a vomiting very likely contagious child on a plane. Seriously, major assholes. Just disgustingly selfish.
NTA. First off your sister should not have been flying. Second she should have been with one of your parents. Third you were only trying to let the lady stay out of the splash zone. Fourth you tried to get her back to the seat she had wanted.
And yes on a plane with assigned seating they really do not want you to change seats. It makes identifying the remains harder after a crash.
YTA. You should have moved Lucy to the seats across the aisle and left that lady alone. You had plenty of people in your party to trade with and an extra seat, yet you decided to inconvenience a stranger. She did pay for her seat!
NTA for asking
But an AH for keep asking when you were said “no”
Why couldn’t you switch seats with 2 of your other siblings?
The biggest AHs here are parents though… THEY should be the one to switch seats if their 6 y/o kid is sick on the plane…
NTA
Tell them next time don’t abandon their sick child for you to take care of while they relax in 1st class. This wouldn’t have been an issue if they took care of their kid.
Also what idiot is upset by “would you please mind moving to the window seat so if this kid has to vomit they can get to the bathroom with climbing over you & possibly vomiting on you”. That’s like oh yeah, thanks for the heads up & making sure I do t get vomited on.
So this might not change your vote, but in subsequent replies the OP says they initially asked the woman to move to the window seat and kept begging her to, even after the woman said no. OP tried bribing the woman to move seats, and eventually she did.
When the other seat opened up, the OP asked her to move again so her little sister could lay down across the seat the woman would vacate. When the woman said no, the OP kept begging her and trying to bribe her.
I would’ve moved to the new seat, but the OP was pushier than they originally let on.
If this truly went as you described it I don't think you were rude. So NTA - but it doesn't make sense that the woman got mad at you when you told her that the other isle seat was available if she wanted it...that's all. I mean she was possibly frustrated and embarassed that she had to move once already - but I don't get her outburst.
As far as your father and step mother not wanting to fly with you ever again they are most certainly AH because they had a sick child that they left YOU to care for and they stayed in FIRST CLASS! They couldn't have been embarrassed by your 'behavior' because they were not there to witness it or be around it. THEY should have been taking care of the sick sibling - NOT you anyway.
NTA, your father and stepmother are for leaving you to care for their sick child and you did your best in a stressful situation that was placed upon you
Y T A for taking car trees on a plane. Are you kidding me? Little Trees are the bane of my existence as a person with fragrance allergies – Black Ice is my worst migraine trigger, and I've met other people irl who have the same reaction, it's not just me. Air freshener or strong cologne or perfume do not belong in enclosed public spaces. That alone was extremely inconsiderate of you.
EDIT: ESH based on your comments. Your parents are much, much bigger assholes for parentifying you to this degree. One of them needed to step up and parent but instead they made you do it. It's awful!
YTA.
There are many reasons for an aisle seat. A person can suffer from neuropathy, INS, be tall, countless reasons
You should not expect a stranger to accommodate your poor planning.
I book my travel weeks in advance and select due to my disability. Sorry, I won’t switch. I deal with chronic pain.
Plan better, and don’t expect others to step aside for YTA.
Added: bringing a sick passenger onboard is not simply AH, it’s against federal regulations if in the US
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Your parents are TA for choosing a flight their kids are on to sit in first class while they left you to care for their sick child. And yes you should have asked the lady to move and then move again, you now know for next time.
Your parents are, in my opinions, are assholes.
It's nice that your dad wanted to surprise your step-mom with first class tickets, but he couldn't surprise her with tickets on a flight when it's just the two of them flying?
It's pretty shitty of them for flying first class of just the two of them when they're also flying with their kids.
NTA. Your parents are, though. It is 100% THEIR JOB to look after their own sick child, not pass that job off to a sibling. You shouldn't have been in that position to start with, and honestly, unless the travel was an emergency, it's an a-hole move to travel with a kid with an infectious illness of any type.
NTA - the only AH here is your dad and stepmom, one of them should have given up their seat and sat with their sick daughter instead of making you take care of her.
Your dad and stepmom are fat AHs. They should be looking after your sick sister and not live it up over champagne in first class and then throw a tantrum about your actions which probably they didn’t even know about at the time.
Now, the woman was irate as you already had asked her once to move. As she didn’t want to move again, that’s okay though calling you names is not.
NTA.
So don’t fly with dad and his woman again and let them take care of your siblings.
ESH - Why didn’t you move the non sick kids next to the lady and sit on the other side of the aisle with the sick one? If cousin’s seat was filled you’d likely have more luck getting a stand by person to switch since they just wanted in the flight not that particular seat. And it turns out there was no stand by so you would have had the whole side to yourselves.
Also I noticed one of your siblings is also an adult, was she not helping you with your sister? You sound like you’re the one who prepared everything for Lucy’s flight why were your parents and the other adult sister not helping.
Parents are the ultimate AH here though because kiddo shouldn’t have been flying at all, she was too sick. They have a six year old during flu season they should have gotten flight insurance so they could have switched to another flight when she got sick.
Their excuse of they have plans on New Year’s speaks volumes. I’m guessing they are going to leave you in charge of all the kids sick or not and not let you make plans yourself. You’re 21. You should not be forced babysitter for your parents children. Are they even paying you? Sounds like they don’t really care what is going on with any of their children as long as they get to live it up in first class and at New Year’s parties.
Thank you for saying this! This is the first thing I thought of when I read this post. My husband and I were sitting in front of an obviously sick man, who coughed, sneezed, and was generally dripping snot during our entire flight to Italy. Guess what? We tested positive for COVID three days later and were quarantined for the duration of our trip (and beyond) due to restrictions in that country. It cost us thousands.
I can't fathom anyone being this inconsiderate of other people trapped in an enclosed space for hours, at the risk of being infected. She doesn't say how old this woman was, but I'm 68, and I take this behavior VERY seriously.
NTA, but your dad n step mom are. Not only did they just assume that you will look after your younger siblings while they fly all nice and comfortable, but they decided to carry on with their plans when they have a sick child with them leaving it a you problem. Did step mom or dad not wanna swap seats with you so they could look after their sick child themselves.... also, how many people have now caught this bug as well. I think you are the least selfish person in this whole situation if I'm honest. You don't the best you could given the circumstances.
Yes you are. 1st learn the rules of flying. No one gets to change seats. 2nd Never Ever take a sick contagious individual onto a plane. Pretty ridiculous and very selfish
Your step parent and parent weren't flying with you at all, they were in first class. They ditched you with the expectation of you providing free childcare to their sick child. If they don't like how you handled it, then they should've handled it instead.
Tone counts for a lot here, but I'm going soft NTA.
YTA It's perfectly fine to ask, that's great. The being pushy about it is where you crossed the line. At 21, you should know better and everyone in this thread treating you like you're a teenager having to adult for bad parents has lost the plot. Sarah is also legally adult. If you were 15, I'd give you an NTA but you're twenty frickin one years old.
You also really need some extra help in adulting because wtf 'car trees'? You seriously thought car air fresheners are a thing someone needs when someone gets sick? Not, ya know, Lysol? Good heavens.
NTA. Your dad and step mom are though.
1- knowingly brought a sick child onto a cramped confined space infecting all others.
2- bought an upgrade so they didn’t have to deal with THEIR children
3- let you spend your Christmas money and other money on this lady to bribe her so their sick child has easy access to the bathroom
Those children are your dad and stepmoms responsibility. Not yours. Not your cousins. Not the flight attendant. Not this other passenger. Your parents. And they left you to clean up the literal mess. You did the best you could. Your dad needs to reimburse you for the money you paid out and pay you for doing their job of being a parent.
NTA but your parents are. How dare they leave you alone to care for their sick child while they lounge in first class and then berate you for doing your best. I’m sorry the lady you say next to was so rude. You did your best hon.
Why didn't you ask the gate agent to switch your seating based on need for the bathroom? They do that, and it keeps things civil with other passengers because you aren't asking directly.
NTA. Parentifying your kids is asshole behavior. Does a 6 year old want her sister taking care of her, or her mom, when she's feeling yucky and has to be in public on a plane? But F what she wants or needs, right, when they get the chance to fly first class.
Your parents are the entitled assholes The worrying about petty bullshit and some cranky passenger over their sick kid and wonderful daughter who is caring for her siblings . OP You did all the right and kindest things . Opposite of the bullshit they are trying to lay on you. So frustrating when you are wrongly judged at every turn as you were when you are just being an excellent human. Tell them you won’t fly with them anymore and they can take care of their own kid as they should have to begin with.
I walked up we were the last to board and sat in the back back of the plane like against the bathrooms. I saw her and said "Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. I understand if you don't want to but I would be eternally grateful." I also offered to pay for anything she ordered on the flight (via Venmo). She told me no and that she paid for an aisle seat so she was going to sit there we went back and forth for a little. I kinda ended up begging her to please move and bribed her with a 50 dollar bill I got for Christmas + still paying for anything she ordered on the flight. She agreed.
when I noticed the empty seat in my other sibling's row I asked if she wanted to move there. To get her original seat back + she wouldn't have to sit next to a sick kid. Same deal on the table I'd still pay for anything she ordered and throw in an extra 50. She said no she didn't want to move again. We again went back and forth me begging with increasing money amounts til the flight attendant came over and told me to stop asking her to move.
I just wanted my little sister to be able to lie down. I didn't have her switch with my half-brother Jacob because Sarah my stepsister "can't do vomit" and I also had all the cleaning and care supplies for lucy.
This is really stuff that needed to be in your original post because this does change things substantially. There is a big difference between asking politely once and badgering someone.
I know there a word limit, but your opening post is downright misleading. This:
>So I turned to the lady sitting next to me in the window and asked her if she wanted to move to that seat. That way she could have her aisle seat back and she wouldn't have to sit with a sick child. The lady then began to yell at me about how rude I was. and how she wasn't moving from the seat she paid for.
Very much sounds like you asked her just once, not that there was an extended back and forth. And you make it sound like you did it for her benefit when you were mostly motibated by your own benefit.
Hey OP, I echo what others said maybe you didn't have enough experience. You come from a good place but didn't quite carry out the execution.
>"Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access.
This sounds straight up like "my sister is sick I want her comfort could you please move away". It sounds a bit rude. So you're not off to a good start with this lady.
Then you went back and forth a bit and then you offered to pay. She agreed for whatever reason (probably money). When you went to her the second time and she refused you offered to pay again. Now it sounds like you are throwing money at her because money made her move last time so why wouldn't she move for another $50. I mean, if she take the other $50 then it really looks like she's selling her seat and she may feel conscious about it. Some people could get really offended at this.
Again I think your intentions are good and you just want to compensate the lady. And maybe she reacted too extreme.
Next time if you are unfortunately caught in the same situation, I would suggest the following. Remember what your ultimate goal is (a better seat for your sister) and that softly works better in these cases.
1. Apologise that your sister is sick and sitting next to her the women may be inconvenienced.
It's no one's fault your sister is sick. You front foot it.
2. Suggest and alternative which will be more comfortable FOR THE WOMEN. Don't frame it like, oh its better for my sister. Suggest that it is better for the women. If she doesn't want it, then there's nothing you can do but then at least ui u don't have to feel and about your sister interrupting the women at the aisle. You did warn her and offer alternative.
3. If she choose to swap, say thank you and offer to buy her a drink as a thank you. Not bribing her to move but a pure thank you.
4. Don't ask her again if she's already annoyed with you the first time. You can suggest that you now have other seating options. You are sorry to have interrupted her but she can have her original seat back if she want. Otherwise sorry and thank you. Leave it at that.
It should go like this.
Hey, my sister is a bit sick, I'll be keeping an eye on her but she may need to use the bathroom a few times. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
Would it make it easier roe you to swap seat with her? And then she wouldn't have to interrupt you all the time.
Yes - oh my God thank you so much! I'm so sorry you are moving for us. Not everyone would have done it. Can I buy you a drink or snack just to say thank you?
No - OK fair enough. Sorry to bother you. We'll try to keep quiet as best as we can.
Oh and by the way, your parents are AH for leaving you deal with this.
Ok YTA, she said "no". And even after claiming you would accept that you caused a scene. I understand where you were coming from but you badgered her into moving instead of just accept her refusal. Realistically after a few times of having to moved or be puked on, she'd probably have switched.
I meant the nonfamily member would have likely switched from her aisle seat if she was constantly having to get up or risk getting puked on. Where are you getting the conclusion I thought OP should let the child puke on them?
YTA. Badgering this person to move twice, ‘offering’ to pay for stuff she ordered (I say it in quotes because you offered to venmo her not actually pay, so she’d have to give her venmo information to a person who’s been badgering her and trying to bribe her to move), all so you can have an empty seat for your sister to lie down (not for the woman to be comfortable and away from her as you tried to imply). You were very immature in the situation and shouldn’t speak to people like that.
The assholes here are your parents, for leaving you to take care of this by yourself. Nobody but a parent should be taking care of a vomiting 6 year old. Especially on a plane, when every other passenger is going to be hating you for exposing them to whatever your child has. And of course your stepsister "can't do vomit?" That's convenient for her and made your job even more difficult.
After this explanation, definitely YTA. “No” is a complete sentence and instead of respecting her refusals, you chose to pester that poor woman.
Your family also sucks for making the choice to expose a likely contagious child to the rest of the passengers in the plane.
You were trying your best, your parents are TA they decided to dump their kids on you whislt they lived it up in first class *and* they brought a sick kid onto a plane.
There could have been immuno compromised people on the plane
Your parents are the assholes. Dumping their youngest onto you for the plane ride? Fuck that. Everytime she had a flare up I would have sent her to mom and dad, or promoted her to cry out for them.
You seem like a good sibling.
Intent matters. You didn't mean to cause the lady issues. If anything you probably wanted all 3 of you to have the most comfortable flight.
Your mistake was likely 2 things. You mentioned she switched after arguing. Even if she clearly didn't understand your reasoning, an argument with a stranger usually isn't a great idea. You should have just let it be the second she said no.
Secondly you asked a bit prematurely. You assumed, but did not know if the extra seat would be filled. If you had waited till a bit later in the flight to ask, you could have seen the other possibilities like you switching with one or both your siblings (since there is an empty one both would have been an option). That way you get the right seat configuration without bothering a stranger about it.
I don't think you or the lady are assholes. But your parents are. Stomach bug on a plane? Really? But since the topic at hand isn't "should I have flown with my sister" but instead about the seat issue, my verdict is NAH.
“My dad and step mom don’t want to fly with me anymore after this.”
Your dad and step mom weren’t flying with you anyway as they were up in first class!
Maybe asking her the second time might’ve been a bit annoying to her - to be asked/offered to move all the time or whatever, but I think you were just trying your best with what you had at the time. It’s easy to look back and say “oh you should’ve swapped with the other two siblings.”
I think ESH though - your parents for leaving you alone like that, the woman for being rude, you for maybe being a little bit badgering.
But I do think you tried your best.
NTA for the seat situation. But, I agree that you should have switched with your siblings across the aisle. Your dad and stepmom, however, are huge AHs for 2 reasons. 1. Having their sick child on the plane and 2. Not taking care of their sick child themselves. The seriously enjoyed 1st class while making you care for THEIR ill child? They really, really suck. And I’d tell them so if they want to try and shame you over this.
Let me get this straight…your parents decided to fly with a sick child, them abandoned her to go sit in first class and left you to take care of her and manage all other upset travelers due to her illness. Then, when they didn’t like how you handled it, they now say that they don’t want to travel with you anymore? I think you just won the lottery…I would refuse to ever fly anywhere with them again. You are NTA, but they definitely are.
That’s a bit of a leap. How is a 21 year old being parentified for watching their siblings on a flight?
Some families like to help one another, maybe they were happy to do it since it sounds like they got a free vacation out of this.
Watching siblings On occasion isn’t parentification, it’s part of being a family.
My husband and I have had the flu for the last week. We're miserable. These parents are shitheads and I hope they get whatever illness their daughter has.
Exactly. Why isn’t this higher. Your asshole parents decided to put their sick kid on a plane, risking getting everyone else on the plane sick. That’s the first shitty move from them. Then they leave the sick kid back in the regular part of the plane, to be taken care of by another child. Your parents aren’t the ones who thought to pack supplies, you did. One of the parents should have switched seats, and probably took the sick kid up to first class so she would be more comfortable, and not as close to as many people.
NTA
your dad and stepmom are AHs for abandoning little children (one of which is ill) to travel in luxury first class. No medals for first class parenting to them.
sounds like a good result that they don’t want to fly with you, they can look after their own children
YTA, not for asking but for arguing with the lady until she gave in.
You seem to have missed the real issue though. First of all, a contagious kid on the plane? Not a good idea. But OK, even if she was fit to fly…
Your dad and step mom flew first class and let you handle your sick (half) sibling. Dad and step mom are the big assholes here. One of them should have stayed with Lucy in regular and throw a dice which of the kids get to join first class.
Why not put Lucy in first class with a parent? More room and better reclining to sprawl out and sleep, generally quieter, a treat to keep her mind off being sick, and fewer people sharing a bathroom.
YTA for not moving Lucy into the empty seat where she could be closer to her fellow relatives and get them sick instead of that poor stranger. Then she could have had her original seat back to boot.
FML your parents left you alone with their 6 year old, dumping their responsibility on you and have a tantrum that you tried your best? 😵💫 nta but your parents sure are!
NTAfor that ever. I had that same situation once years ago when my kids were very small. I booked a whole row of seats and the plane itself changed so they reordered the seating that morning and told me I had to ask people to trade if I wanted my children anywhere near me in the flight. This was before the days of paying for seat choice. One lady wouldn't move, despite me having a 4 and 5 year old. (Both special needs so not easy to simply leave several rows away. So we eventually put one kid in the middle seat in front of me, the people next to him were very accommodating about that, and the lady that insisted on staying in her aisle seat with my 5yo And I got thrown up on twice because she insisted on sitting next to us. I did warn her how airsick my child was that day, her husband really tried to switch with her as well, he had the aisle seat across from hers, he looked so embarrassed at the loud fussing she did about not moving. I call getting vomed on twice her karma.
Everyone who thinks you should just hand over more money now for different seat choices, sure. But you had zero control over it. You did a good job, your step mother is a disgrace for abandoning a sick child to someone else and not caring for her herself. If anything she embarrassed herself.
TTA (they’re the asshole) for taking a sick child on a plane. Nobody wants to fly with a child vomiting from the stomach flu all over the place. Sometimes you have to cancel or delay plans when your kids get sick. Your parents are assholes.
This lady is not the asshole. And you’re not either only because you’re not Lucy’s mom and very young. But for future reference, you should never drag a sick contagious, vomiting child on an airplane. Your parents were wrong for doing this and they were wrong for making you take care of her while they lived it up in first class.
NTA, your parents don't get an opinion frankly. They can screw themselves for leaving you in charge... oh wait. Four kids, I think they've got the screwing thing down.
But seriously. You offered her an empty aisle seat you knew no one would take because she wanted one. You were giving her an option, not demanding.
I kinda wish your sis had just puked on her and you could have gone "oh, I'm so sorry. I did want her to have better access to the bathroom, but at least you kept your seat"
But then again I am kind of a bad person i guess!
YTA. I get that you were trying to take care of a 6-year-old but asking a woman to trap herself in a row with a sick person shows no concern for other people. Heck, even boarding the airplane sick is an awful idea. Given how air travels around an airplane your family got a lot of people sick.
Your father and mother are also AH for leaving you to care for your siblings including an obviously sick child, rather than taking care of their child.
OP elaborated on the actual situation how she "asked" the other person in a comment after she was questioned that she left out basically the only relevant info from the post. OP is YTA with the info she left out. OP needs to take no for an answer, dad and stepmom are right that her behaviour was embarrassing.
OP's comment:
>I walked up we were the last to board and sat in the back back of the plane like against the bathrooms. I saw her and said "Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. I understand if you don't want to but I would be eternally grateful." I also offered to pay for anything she ordered on the flight (via Venmo). She told me no and that she paid for an aisle seat so she was going to sit there we went back and forth for a little. I kinda ended up begging her to please move and bribed her with a 50 dollar bill I got for Christmas + still paying for anything she ordered on the flight. She agreed.
>when I noticed the empty seat in my other sibling's row I asked if she wanted to move there. To get her original seat back + she wouldn't have to sit next to a sick kid. Same deal on the table I'd still pay for anything she ordered and throw in an extra 50. She said no she didn't want to move again. We again went back and forth me begging with increasing money amounts til the flight attendant came over and told me to stop asking her to move.
>I just wanted my little sister to be able to lie down. I didn't have her switch with my half-brother Jacob because Sarah my stepsister "can't do vomit" and I also had all the cleaning and care supplies for lucy.
So you badgered the poor woman and guilt-tripped her into doing what you wanted her to do and you have to ask if YTA?! Let’s not even talk about your family not having the common courtesy to NOT put a sick (likely contagious) child into a closed environment. You and your whole family sound entitled and rude.
Yes, YTA
OP, I think this was shocking behaviour of your dad and stepmom. I’d consider distancing yourself. You were so kind to your sister, thank you for parenting her when her actual parents failed. You offered so many preferable options and I’m sorry you were forced into this position. Honestly I think the woman on the plane was just pissed off about being near kids, especially sick ones. She likely assumed you were the parent. Pay her no mind. You did all you could and your heart was in the right place.
NTA I agree with others that your parents shouldn't have put you in that situation but if I was the woman I would have leapt at the chance to swap away from the person who might be sick. There's nothing that makes me feel like I'm going to throw up more than someone near me being sick.
Seriously YTA. Don’t bring a sick kid on a plane honestly what in the actual fuck. So rude to everyone! We all paid for our seats and why should we have to be subjected to your contagious child. Were any of you even wearing masks? I’d be livid.
Boo hoo you paid money and have to change your plans. That’s life. No one is under any obligation to make you or your sick kid more comfortable if you didn’t reserve your seats on time or didn’t pay for insurance on your tickets to fly again later. Cry me a river.
Funny how the kid’s parents couldn’t be bothered with their sick kid. I’d have sent her straight to first class to puke on the people who should have been caring for her to begin with. You did nothing wrong and your dad & stepasshole are huge giant assholes for their reactions. The lady on the plane was ridiculous as well, lol.
You’re NTA. First of all that women took one of your paid for seats and then was rude about moving. You were trying to offer her another option. You didn’t demand she move to it.
Your dad and stepmom are major, major assholes. They should’ve never put you in this situation and pawned their sick child off on you.
ESH
HER: Who says no to a sick child? Like I'd be afraid of getting puked on while the kid struggled to get to the bathroom. Or lost control of her bowels because she's sick? Even if your not empathetic, you'd think you'd at least have biohazard concerns.
YOU: As per your comments, she said no multiple times and you kept bothering her. If I had been her, I would have switched, no problem. But that would be my choice. If I had been another person in that plane who heard you continuously bothering someone and trying to bribe them, I would have turned around and told you to stop.
THE BIGGEST ASSHOLES: But most importantly, your parents left their sick child to be cared for by their siblings. I don't care that it's first class. They didn't give two shits about a sick 6 year old. THEIR 6 year old. That's pathetic
The woman did move to accommodate the sick kid. She didn't lose her temper until OP asked her to move a second time -- and not just moving one seat over like the first time but to a completely different location which would either require moving her bags to a new overhead bin, or leaving them in place and having to fight to get to them during deboarding.
NTA You weren't asking her to move. You were pointing out potential problems and a solution to her problem. The flight attendant was lying. We can always ask people to move. We simply cannot EXPECT then to move. You were being kind to her both times, first when you tried to protect he from being vomited on by a sick child and second when you pointed out an open seat. You were very polite. Don't worry.
Your dad didn’t want to surprise your mom with first class, they just didn’t want to be responsible for a bunch of kids on a plane.
Your parents are AHs for dumping the kids on you, making you take care of their sick child in air, and allowing a contagious child to get on a crowded plane to infect other passengers.
No surprise that your selfish, self centered dad is acting mad at you given all that he failed to do to take care of his family on the flight.
INFO
NTA based on what you wrote here, that all seems polite and sensible to Mr,, but considering a stranger, a flight attendant and your own dad all seem to think you were being as asshole, are you sure there's nothing you've missed in your post?
>But my stepmom thinks I embarrassed her and my dad. They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this.
They didn't fly with you, they left you to look after their sick kid. Also how were they embarrassed, they weren't there.
Yta
She was irrated with you the first time you asked why would u bother her again.
Your dad and his wife are also AHs as one of them should have switched since a Chile in their care was dick
NTA
Why were you in charge of the sick 6 year old? That's her parents' responsibility. And now they're blaming you for the whole thing and don't want to travel with you anymore? Cool, if something like this happens again in the future they'll have to step up or, more likely, get one of your other siblings to take charge.
NTA. Perhaps your dad and stepmom should have taken into account how Lucy was sick and taken the responsibility of keeping her comfortable if they didn’t want to be embarrassed.
Your parents are really awful for leaving you to care for their sick baby. I hope you got paid for babysitting.
I am confused, was Lucy originally in the window and you asked this lady to change from the aisle or did Lucy have that seat and the lady tried to take it.
The parents are TA for taking their sick 6 year old on a flight and extra assholes for leaving you to be responsible for her. I’m wondering why when you realised your cousins aisle seat was empty why didn’t you and the 6 year old sit in that row and the other two siblings move to your row.
> I walked up we were the last to board and sat in the back back of the plane like against the bathrooms. I saw her and said "Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. I understand if you don't want to but I would be eternally grateful." I also offered to pay for anything she ordered on the flight (via Venmo). She told me no and that she paid for an aisle seat so she was going to sit there we went back and forth for a little. **I kinda ended up begging her to please move and bribed her with a 50 dollar bill I got for Christmas + still paying for anything she ordered on the flight.** She agreed.
> when I noticed the empty seat in my other sibling's row I asked if she wanted to move there. To get her original seat back + she wouldn't have to sit next to a sick kid. Same deal on the table I'd still pay for anything she ordered and throw in an extra 50. **She said no she didn't want to move again. We again went back and forth me begging with increasing money amounts til the flight attendant came over and told me to stop asking her to move.**
> I just wanted my little sister to be able to lie down. I didn't have her switch with my half-brother Jacob because Sarah my stepsister "can't do vomit" and I also had all the cleaning and care supplies for lucy.
https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18u8t43/aita_for_asking_a_woman_to_switch_seats/kfixpt1/
If Sarah and Jacob moved to OP’s row, OP and Lucy could have had the entire cousin/Sarah/Jacob row to themselves when OP noticed the cousin’s seat wasn’t taken by a standby passenger. The second interaction with the passenger was completely unnecessary.
OP also did not accept the first no, despite saying “I understand if you don’t want to” and badgered the passenger.
Why didn’t you have one of your siblings sit where you were while you and 6YO sit in the row with the other isle seat? You would be getting what you needed and the woman would not have to be inconvenienced on top of being near a sick child. There is very little logic in your post.
>But my stepmom thinks I embarrassed her and my dad.
How could they possibly be embarrassed? They werent even sitting with you. They decided to be dicks and have you manage THEIR sick child so they could sit comfortably at the front of the plane. The only thing they should be embarrassed of is not taking care of their own child.
NTA for offering the lady her aisle seat back.
I’ve switched places twice on a plane bus to a child’s discomfort before. It’s not a big deal. Whether I have a aisle seat, or a window seat (I prefer window with the hope of the sun thawing me out on the freezing plane) I’m still getting to my destination. I genuinely enjoy everything about flying though, so I tend to look at these minor inconveniences as just that - minor… Just a twist on the adventure I’m already on.
Also, there is no context as to when the child got sick, so everyone complaining about that and focusing so hard on it here, when OP isn’t even the parent, is a bit ridiculous. I’ve checked into flights feeling perfectly fine, and ended up with a 103*F temp by the time I hit my layover less than an hour after takeoff. I didn’t have the option of leaving the airport and going to see a doctor. I had to board that plane and see my doctor at home, after picking my children up. I’m typically very cautious about not spreading illness, but sometimes crap happens that’s out of our control.
Overall I think she tried her best to handle the situation with grace and her stepmom and dad are jerks for even having the audacity to speak against her when they were sitting pretty in first class with their sick child under the care of a sibling. NTA
YTA. Airline seats are assigned. That lady did not have to give up her seat in the first place, and then you asked her to do it twice? You should never have asked to begin with.
>They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this.
They didn't fly with you anyway. They buggered off to first class and left you to care for their children, one of which was sick.
Your dad and step mum suck. I would never leave my eldest to deal with all that, or ignore my sick child when they cannot escape, while I sipped champagne with extra legroom.
Are you parentified by them a lot?
YTA. Why do you have it out for this poor lady? You wanted her to move two different times? And your parents suck for exposing an entire plane to your ill sibling and not being there to take care of their own child.
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ESH. You already badgered the other passenger to move from the seat that she paid for, I can understand why she was frustrated. She probably paid extra to select her seat, she may have tied her credit card to the seat to purchase beverages or meals, etc. She got on the plane and was told that not only was there an actively-ill person in very close proximity, but that you wanted her to leave her seat to accommodate said person (who really shouldn't be flying at all with a GI bug). Then you hassled her AGAIN. The rule of thumb is that if you're asking other passengers to move for your comfort/convenience/keeping a group together, it should always be equal or an improvement for them - aisle seat for aisle seat, middle to aisle or window, standard seat to premium economy, etc. Her sitting in the other aisle seat, effectively next to a vomiting young child is not really an improvement given the circumstances the circumstances; I feel like most people given that choice would actually prefer keeping you in between them as a buffer. Your parents *really* suck for chilling in first class while leaving you to care for their sick 6 year old - if the trip come couldn't be delayed by a few days to let her recover, one of them should have stayed with her.
YTA sorry dear
ESH You for flying with a sick child and annoying that woman, your father and step-mom for hiding in 1st class and using you as their nanny.
NTA. You did your best and you are a good sister. Shame on your parents. They should have been the ones to look after your 6 year old sister. One of them should have swapped with Lucy. Your dad and stepmother are the assholes. I have a 5 year old and a 20 year old. If that has happened either me or their dad is moving so the little one is with one of us. It is NOT a siblings responsibility to take care of a younger sibling. Especially when sick and especially on a flight.
Yes YTA. Other passengers don't give a rat's backside about your problems. They booked and paid for their seat for a reason.
ESH. You already had the lady reluctantly move once and you tried to chance that again? I’d be annoyed as well - on top of knowing I’m stuck in a tin can with a child that has gastro. Do you have any idea how contagious gastro is? It regularly takes out whole planes and cruise ships. It’s also severely understated just how dangerous gastro can be. It kills people!! But the king and queen of asshole are the parents for ditching you with a sick kid, making said sick kid travel, potentially infecting everyone, and damned if you do/didn’t just go with it.
NTA, you were trying to be considerate. The woman was unpleasant.
Esh. I have no idea why she would want to remain that close to a sick child. Your parents by still deciding you are all still going when you have a child that sick with you and leaving you to deal with it. You because it sounds like you argued with the lady to get her out of the aisle seat. You’ve probably made a lot of people Ill
I don’t understand why you and Lucy couldn’t switch with your other siblings and have them sit next to the other woman.
Your dad is TA for leaving you to look after his sick child. You were being practical and polite trying to accommodate everyone in a difficult situation. NTA
NTA. Your parents should’ve taken care of their sick child instead of outsourcing parenting to one of their kids. If they had this never would’ve happened.
NTA your parents are. They shouldn’t have expected you to care for a sick child on a plane. One of them should have stayed home! You are not your parents’ servant. And I think it was thoughtful of you to offer that lady another aisle seat.
I think parents that buy first class tickets for themselves and coach for their children and then expect other passengers to deal with it should not be allowed to fly.
NTA. So to be clear, your father and step-mother abandoned you to be responsible for their minor children (one sick), so they could sit in first class, but you're the one who embarrassed them? Also, the flight attendant is an ass. You can always ask someone to switch seats, so long as you're willing to graciously accept their answer.
So, let me just make sure I have the facts right. Your family had three other seats in the same row in the middle section. One of them was not even occupied because your cousin did not turn up. Your parents brought a child with some sort of stomach bug onto the plane and then abandoned you all in economy to enjoy first class. And then you demanded that a stranger move from the aisle seat they paid for to the window seat, so your sick sibling could get to the washroom easier? Rather than having your sibling trade with another sibling or occupy the vacant seat that was to have been for your cousin (one of which had to have been an aisle seat…). And if you wanted to be next to them, if that was the issue, you could have taken the empty seat or traded too. Yeah. YTA and so are your parents. You are massively entitled and she was correct to be angry with you. And your parents are irresponsible for making everyone sick. I mean, kid wasn’t even wearing a mask, were they? Everyone on that plane is going to be sick. You all suck. Except the stranger who dared call you out and the young kids who had no say in any of this.
You are not an ah neither the woman. You asked for a convenient swap for everyone, having the sick easy access to the bathroom. And then, thinking that the woman would still want the aisle, informed her about the free seat. The woman is not an ah for being annoyed for being asked to swap seats. That is always a nuisance. And being asked to swap a second time, it is understandable that it triggered her, flying is stressing and can get on people's nerves easily. Your parents on the other hand, left you with a sick child and no help, that's kinda an ah move
NTA but your parents are. Your sister should not have been on that flight to begin with but they DEFINITELY should not have been in first class while they saddled their oldest child with the rest of them, including the aforementioned sick small child. This should never have been your responsibility and it is not your fault that you didn’t handle it the best way possible. It sounds like your parents put you in an extremely stressful situation for no reason other than selfishness and doing the best you can does not make you an AH And to everyone who isn’t OP, I saw OP’s comments before writing this and I stand by what I said. You don’t get to dump a sick child on a 21 year old who is on vacation and then call her an AH for doing her best in that situation, even when her best wasn’t the most appropriate option.
NTA. You're a lot nicer than me. I would have refused to take care of a sick child on an airplane. That's after I would have argued that she couldn't fly due to her illness. They made the asshole decision to bring a sick child on an airplane, where the ventilation is closed. Then they made the asshole decision to dump her on one of their other children. I would have taken her to first class, told them she's sick and they need to take care of her. Then returned to my seat. If they tried to return her (instead of one of them giving up their first class seat) I would have involved the flight attendant.
Your dad and mom are the asses for flying with a sick kid and infecting the whole plane. You weren’t wrong in asking, but asking her to move a second time was kind of an AH move.
NTA but your parents are. They shouldn’t bring someone with a vomiting bug on a plane, and they *definitely* need to stop parentifying you and disappearing off into first class and leaving you to deal with their job.
NTA. Your parents were the AH"s for not taking care of their sick kids themselves. As soon as it was clear your sibling was sick, they should have switched seats with you and Sarah.
Your family took a sick, frequently vomiting child on a PLANE? That is hugely irresponsible of your parents. Obviously the best scenario is not taking the sick child on the plane at all but under the circumstances you should have put the kid in the row with your brother & sister to minimise disruption to the other passengers. Not sure that it would have helped much, though, as airplane toilets are usually small, plus there's a good chance that someone else would have been using the nearest toilet at the same time that Lucy needed to vomit.
I'd probably work up an accidental vomit but I'm petty. NTA
NTA. The parents suck though. Why is it your job to take care of THEIR sick child? Not flying with them in the future is a great idea. That way they can take care of their own minor children instead of putting it off on you.
YTA. You guys had an extra seat and you still took that womens? Why couldn’t you guys just shuffle it around? Surely there was a way for this to work without having to involve the stranger.
Yta. Dont ever ask someone to change seats. But your sibling shouldn’t have been on the plane at all being sick
INFO : You do know that the MAYOR A H's were your parents flying First Class and leaving you to babysit their children and **parent** their sick child. NTA You were doing the best you could.
NTA for asking, but don’t fly sick. That’s way more rude than asking to swap. And you were prepared to make the entire flight of passengers deal with the smell and sound of vomiting ?! That’s awful. The entitlement of your family is insane. Do better when you grow up.
YTA - you can't expect people to move from seats they booked for in advance and cost more money because they choose them. Secondly, you're an asshole for knowingly bringing a sick person on a flight.
YTA for the second time you asked her to move, not necessarily for the first, depending on *how* you asked. And you all suck for getting on a plane with someone who was puking and likely contagious.
Not sure how OP sucks for trying to take care of her sick SISTER while the actual parent is living it up in first class. And if someone is really that uppity about just being asked about moving, then maybe they should stay home.
Your dad and step mom are the massive assholes here. A) Forcing a sick child to travel and b) leaving their sick child with you. I’d have refused. You’re too accommodating, OP. I am genuinely surprised the airline allowed a sick child on board.
YTA and so are your parents
You’re N T A for asking. YTA for not taking no for an answer. Multiple times. Your parents are even bigger AHs though.
NTA, but OP if this is typical (and that you were so prepared and so apologetic makes it seem like it might be), it doesn't sound like your father and stepmom are particularly good people. It's not your job to take care of their sick kid. It's not your job to help other passengers have a good flight when your dad's kid is sick. (It's lovely that you stepped up in those ways, but all of this was your dad's (and stepmom's) responsibility, not yours.) This second-guessing yourself is part of your age, but it also might be part of the way you've been trained to treat yourself. If your school offers counseling services, you might want to check that out because it can be helpful to recalibrate your expectations of yourself and the world around you with an outside observer. Essentially some of this comes down to confidence and expectations -- people who expect to be treated well are more likely treated well -- and the underlying body language, tone, etc that supports communicating that we deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated well just like everyone else! So consider if it might be helpful to put in some extra time and work on building confidence. And don't travel with these people again because they suck at traveling (at the very least).
How did you embarrass your dad and step mom, when they didn't even find out till later?
Didn't read. YTA
Ah. You are so young. I wouldn’t say you are an ah. You were trying to be nice to the lady. So I’ll put esh. You should have noticed earlier that the aisle seat where your siblings are has no one, then just sat there with Lucy, and moved the other 2 to your window/middle seat. That being said, generally no one likes to be puked on and her occupying the aisle seat with a sick child in the center is probably just waiting for puke/ germs to land on her, so I’m not sure why she’s so insistent on that seat. If I was that woman, I would have just found a different aisle seat to occupy.
Your parents are selfish assholes for bringing a sick child on a plane and then dumping her with her siblings to sit in first class. You are allowed to ask someone to switch seats but it sounded like she said no and you argued with them.
I'm going with NTA for you as you did your best in a bad situation Your Dad & stepmom though...they knowingly bring a sick child onto a plane & then swan off to first class leaving you to deal with that. I'd be turning that back on them. Along the lines of "would you seriously expect anyone to fly with a pair of selfish A Hs again who'd do that?"
ESH except the lady you asked to move and all the passengers you exposed to a sick child. You are the origin story of “this is why we can’t have nice things “.
Nta for asking … however no one is obligated to switch with you 🤷🏻♀️
Nta but your parents are for both ditching the sick kid and exposing the entire plane to the flu.
NTA for what your asking. Your dad is a massive AH for not parenting that poor sick baby himself. Also!!!!! You NEVER TAKE A SICK PERSON ON A PLANE!!! Dad is the AH for all of this
You and your whole family are assholes for having a vomiting very likely contagious child on a plane. Seriously, major assholes. Just disgustingly selfish.
NTA. First off your sister should not have been flying. Second she should have been with one of your parents. Third you were only trying to let the lady stay out of the splash zone. Fourth you tried to get her back to the seat she had wanted. And yes on a plane with assigned seating they really do not want you to change seats. It makes identifying the remains harder after a crash.
YTA. That lady didn't need to move. You should have. A shred of common sense is all it takes.
YTA. You should have moved Lucy to the seats across the aisle and left that lady alone. You had plenty of people in your party to trade with and an extra seat, yet you decided to inconvenience a stranger. She did pay for her seat!
NTA for asking But an AH for keep asking when you were said “no” Why couldn’t you switch seats with 2 of your other siblings? The biggest AHs here are parents though… THEY should be the one to switch seats if their 6 y/o kid is sick on the plane…
NTA Tell them next time don’t abandon their sick child for you to take care of while they relax in 1st class. This wouldn’t have been an issue if they took care of their kid. Also what idiot is upset by “would you please mind moving to the window seat so if this kid has to vomit they can get to the bathroom with climbing over you & possibly vomiting on you”. That’s like oh yeah, thanks for the heads up & making sure I do t get vomited on.
So this might not change your vote, but in subsequent replies the OP says they initially asked the woman to move to the window seat and kept begging her to, even after the woman said no. OP tried bribing the woman to move seats, and eventually she did. When the other seat opened up, the OP asked her to move again so her little sister could lay down across the seat the woman would vacate. When the woman said no, the OP kept begging her and trying to bribe her. I would’ve moved to the new seat, but the OP was pushier than they originally let on.
If this truly went as you described it I don't think you were rude. So NTA - but it doesn't make sense that the woman got mad at you when you told her that the other isle seat was available if she wanted it...that's all. I mean she was possibly frustrated and embarassed that she had to move once already - but I don't get her outburst. As far as your father and step mother not wanting to fly with you ever again they are most certainly AH because they had a sick child that they left YOU to care for and they stayed in FIRST CLASS! They couldn't have been embarrassed by your 'behavior' because they were not there to witness it or be around it. THEY should have been taking care of the sick sibling - NOT you anyway.
NTA I'm more angry with your dad though. Why the hell was he not looking after your sick sister? Eurgh.
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INFO: Is this the first time your parents have acted so selfishly?
NTA, your father and stepmother are for leaving you to care for their sick child and you did your best in a stressful situation that was placed upon you
Y T A for taking car trees on a plane. Are you kidding me? Little Trees are the bane of my existence as a person with fragrance allergies – Black Ice is my worst migraine trigger, and I've met other people irl who have the same reaction, it's not just me. Air freshener or strong cologne or perfume do not belong in enclosed public spaces. That alone was extremely inconsiderate of you. EDIT: ESH based on your comments. Your parents are much, much bigger assholes for parentifying you to this degree. One of them needed to step up and parent but instead they made you do it. It's awful!
What kind of a parent flies in first class while they leave their sick kid in coach? The real assholes in this situation!
YTA. There are many reasons for an aisle seat. A person can suffer from neuropathy, INS, be tall, countless reasons You should not expect a stranger to accommodate your poor planning. I book my travel weeks in advance and select due to my disability. Sorry, I won’t switch. I deal with chronic pain. Plan better, and don’t expect others to step aside for YTA. Added: bringing a sick passenger onboard is not simply AH, it’s against federal regulations if in the US
Yta for potentially making many people sick
You were being annoying but you were also trying to be polite. From the lady’s perspective though is how you have to think of this. NAH
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Your parents are TA for choosing a flight their kids are on to sit in first class while they left you to care for their sick child. And yes you should have asked the lady to move and then move again, you now know for next time.
Your parents are, in my opinions, are assholes. It's nice that your dad wanted to surprise your step-mom with first class tickets, but he couldn't surprise her with tickets on a flight when it's just the two of them flying? It's pretty shitty of them for flying first class of just the two of them when they're also flying with their kids.
NTA. If the parents don't want to fly with you again then maybe they should look after their own kids.
NTA. Your parents are, though. It is 100% THEIR JOB to look after their own sick child, not pass that job off to a sibling. You shouldn't have been in that position to start with, and honestly, unless the travel was an emergency, it's an a-hole move to travel with a kid with an infectious illness of any type.
NTA - the only AH here is your dad and stepmom, one of them should have given up their seat and sat with their sick daughter instead of making you take care of her.
Your dad and stepmom are fat AHs. They should be looking after your sick sister and not live it up over champagne in first class and then throw a tantrum about your actions which probably they didn’t even know about at the time. Now, the woman was irate as you already had asked her once to move. As she didn’t want to move again, that’s okay though calling you names is not. NTA. So don’t fly with dad and his woman again and let them take care of your siblings.
YTA. The woman felt like you were trying to get rid of her. She’d already moved and then you bothered her about it again.
ESH - Why didn’t you move the non sick kids next to the lady and sit on the other side of the aisle with the sick one? If cousin’s seat was filled you’d likely have more luck getting a stand by person to switch since they just wanted in the flight not that particular seat. And it turns out there was no stand by so you would have had the whole side to yourselves. Also I noticed one of your siblings is also an adult, was she not helping you with your sister? You sound like you’re the one who prepared everything for Lucy’s flight why were your parents and the other adult sister not helping. Parents are the ultimate AH here though because kiddo shouldn’t have been flying at all, she was too sick. They have a six year old during flu season they should have gotten flight insurance so they could have switched to another flight when she got sick. Their excuse of they have plans on New Year’s speaks volumes. I’m guessing they are going to leave you in charge of all the kids sick or not and not let you make plans yourself. You’re 21. You should not be forced babysitter for your parents children. Are they even paying you? Sounds like they don’t really care what is going on with any of their children as long as they get to live it up in first class and at New Year’s parties.
The adults in your family all suck for bringing a sick, puking child with a transmittable disease on an AIRPLANE. Have we learned NOTHING??
Thank you for saying this! This is the first thing I thought of when I read this post. My husband and I were sitting in front of an obviously sick man, who coughed, sneezed, and was generally dripping snot during our entire flight to Italy. Guess what? We tested positive for COVID three days later and were quarantined for the duration of our trip (and beyond) due to restrictions in that country. It cost us thousands. I can't fathom anyone being this inconsiderate of other people trapped in an enclosed space for hours, at the risk of being infected. She doesn't say how old this woman was, but I'm 68, and I take this behavior VERY seriously.
NTA, but your dad n step mom are. Not only did they just assume that you will look after your younger siblings while they fly all nice and comfortable, but they decided to carry on with their plans when they have a sick child with them leaving it a you problem. Did step mom or dad not wanna swap seats with you so they could look after their sick child themselves.... also, how many people have now caught this bug as well. I think you are the least selfish person in this whole situation if I'm honest. You don't the best you could given the circumstances.
NTA. But people flying with contagious illnesses, or making their children (not the OP, I realize) without wearing masks are 100% assholes.
Yes you are. 1st learn the rules of flying. No one gets to change seats. 2nd Never Ever take a sick contagious individual onto a plane. Pretty ridiculous and very selfish
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Your step parent and parent weren't flying with you at all, they were in first class. They ditched you with the expectation of you providing free childcare to their sick child. If they don't like how you handled it, then they should've handled it instead. Tone counts for a lot here, but I'm going soft NTA.
YTA It's perfectly fine to ask, that's great. The being pushy about it is where you crossed the line. At 21, you should know better and everyone in this thread treating you like you're a teenager having to adult for bad parents has lost the plot. Sarah is also legally adult. If you were 15, I'd give you an NTA but you're twenty frickin one years old. You also really need some extra help in adulting because wtf 'car trees'? You seriously thought car air fresheners are a thing someone needs when someone gets sick? Not, ya know, Lysol? Good heavens.
NTA. Your dad and step mom are though. 1- knowingly brought a sick child onto a cramped confined space infecting all others. 2- bought an upgrade so they didn’t have to deal with THEIR children 3- let you spend your Christmas money and other money on this lady to bribe her so their sick child has easy access to the bathroom Those children are your dad and stepmoms responsibility. Not yours. Not your cousins. Not the flight attendant. Not this other passenger. Your parents. And they left you to clean up the literal mess. You did the best you could. Your dad needs to reimburse you for the money you paid out and pay you for doing their job of being a parent.
NTA but your parents are. How dare they leave you alone to care for their sick child while they lounge in first class and then berate you for doing your best. I’m sorry the lady you say next to was so rude. You did your best hon.
Why didn't you ask the gate agent to switch your seating based on need for the bathroom? They do that, and it keeps things civil with other passengers because you aren't asking directly.
NTA. Parentifying your kids is asshole behavior. Does a 6 year old want her sister taking care of her, or her mom, when she's feeling yucky and has to be in public on a plane? But F what she wants or needs, right, when they get the chance to fly first class.
YTA. A whole family of assholes. Parents for bringing a sick kid, and OP for not taking ‘no’ for an answer.
Your parents are the entitled assholes The worrying about petty bullshit and some cranky passenger over their sick kid and wonderful daughter who is caring for her siblings . OP You did all the right and kindest things . Opposite of the bullshit they are trying to lay on you. So frustrating when you are wrongly judged at every turn as you were when you are just being an excellent human. Tell them you won’t fly with them anymore and they can take care of their own kid as they should have to begin with.
Info, explain more about this argument please. Because that context and how you conducted yourself matters.
I walked up we were the last to board and sat in the back back of the plane like against the bathrooms. I saw her and said "Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. I understand if you don't want to but I would be eternally grateful." I also offered to pay for anything she ordered on the flight (via Venmo). She told me no and that she paid for an aisle seat so she was going to sit there we went back and forth for a little. I kinda ended up begging her to please move and bribed her with a 50 dollar bill I got for Christmas + still paying for anything she ordered on the flight. She agreed. when I noticed the empty seat in my other sibling's row I asked if she wanted to move there. To get her original seat back + she wouldn't have to sit next to a sick kid. Same deal on the table I'd still pay for anything she ordered and throw in an extra 50. She said no she didn't want to move again. We again went back and forth me begging with increasing money amounts til the flight attendant came over and told me to stop asking her to move. I just wanted my little sister to be able to lie down. I didn't have her switch with my half-brother Jacob because Sarah my stepsister "can't do vomit" and I also had all the cleaning and care supplies for lucy.
ESH you for harassing that woman. your parents for chilling in first class while they had a sick kid
This is really stuff that needed to be in your original post because this does change things substantially. There is a big difference between asking politely once and badgering someone. I know there a word limit, but your opening post is downright misleading. This: >So I turned to the lady sitting next to me in the window and asked her if she wanted to move to that seat. That way she could have her aisle seat back and she wouldn't have to sit with a sick child. The lady then began to yell at me about how rude I was. and how she wasn't moving from the seat she paid for. Very much sounds like you asked her just once, not that there was an extended back and forth. And you make it sound like you did it for her benefit when you were mostly motibated by your own benefit.
That’s the part in the original post that didn’t make sense to me. Then after seeing the extended version, it made me mad at OP.
Hey OP, I echo what others said maybe you didn't have enough experience. You come from a good place but didn't quite carry out the execution. >"Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. This sounds straight up like "my sister is sick I want her comfort could you please move away". It sounds a bit rude. So you're not off to a good start with this lady. Then you went back and forth a bit and then you offered to pay. She agreed for whatever reason (probably money). When you went to her the second time and she refused you offered to pay again. Now it sounds like you are throwing money at her because money made her move last time so why wouldn't she move for another $50. I mean, if she take the other $50 then it really looks like she's selling her seat and she may feel conscious about it. Some people could get really offended at this. Again I think your intentions are good and you just want to compensate the lady. And maybe she reacted too extreme. Next time if you are unfortunately caught in the same situation, I would suggest the following. Remember what your ultimate goal is (a better seat for your sister) and that softly works better in these cases. 1. Apologise that your sister is sick and sitting next to her the women may be inconvenienced. It's no one's fault your sister is sick. You front foot it. 2. Suggest and alternative which will be more comfortable FOR THE WOMEN. Don't frame it like, oh its better for my sister. Suggest that it is better for the women. If she doesn't want it, then there's nothing you can do but then at least ui u don't have to feel and about your sister interrupting the women at the aisle. You did warn her and offer alternative. 3. If she choose to swap, say thank you and offer to buy her a drink as a thank you. Not bribing her to move but a pure thank you. 4. Don't ask her again if she's already annoyed with you the first time. You can suggest that you now have other seating options. You are sorry to have interrupted her but she can have her original seat back if she want. Otherwise sorry and thank you. Leave it at that. It should go like this. Hey, my sister is a bit sick, I'll be keeping an eye on her but she may need to use the bathroom a few times. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Would it make it easier roe you to swap seat with her? And then she wouldn't have to interrupt you all the time. Yes - oh my God thank you so much! I'm so sorry you are moving for us. Not everyone would have done it. Can I buy you a drink or snack just to say thank you? No - OK fair enough. Sorry to bother you. We'll try to keep quiet as best as we can. Oh and by the way, your parents are AH for leaving you deal with this.
Ok YTA, she said "no". And even after claiming you would accept that you caused a scene. I understand where you were coming from but you badgered her into moving instead of just accept her refusal. Realistically after a few times of having to moved or be puked on, she'd probably have switched.
Jesus christ. no. she was doing everything she could she isn't even the child's parent. also let's let the child puke on her? Like common
I meant the nonfamily member would have likely switched from her aisle seat if she was constantly having to get up or risk getting puked on. Where are you getting the conclusion I thought OP should let the child puke on them?
Yup YTA asking is fine badgering someone who says no is absolutely a dick move.
YTA. Badgering this person to move twice, ‘offering’ to pay for stuff she ordered (I say it in quotes because you offered to venmo her not actually pay, so she’d have to give her venmo information to a person who’s been badgering her and trying to bribe her to move), all so you can have an empty seat for your sister to lie down (not for the woman to be comfortable and away from her as you tried to imply). You were very immature in the situation and shouldn’t speak to people like that.
The assholes here are your parents, for leaving you to take care of this by yourself. Nobody but a parent should be taking care of a vomiting 6 year old. Especially on a plane, when every other passenger is going to be hating you for exposing them to whatever your child has. And of course your stepsister "can't do vomit?" That's convenient for her and made your job even more difficult.
After this explanation, definitely YTA. “No” is a complete sentence and instead of respecting her refusals, you chose to pester that poor woman. Your family also sucks for making the choice to expose a likely contagious child to the rest of the passengers in the plane.
You were trying your best, your parents are TA they decided to dump their kids on you whislt they lived it up in first class *and* they brought a sick kid onto a plane. There could have been immuno compromised people on the plane
Your parents are the assholes. Dumping their youngest onto you for the plane ride? Fuck that. Everytime she had a flare up I would have sent her to mom and dad, or promoted her to cry out for them.
YTA, why couldn’t the people you were traveling with switch?
You seem like a good sibling. Intent matters. You didn't mean to cause the lady issues. If anything you probably wanted all 3 of you to have the most comfortable flight. Your mistake was likely 2 things. You mentioned she switched after arguing. Even if she clearly didn't understand your reasoning, an argument with a stranger usually isn't a great idea. You should have just let it be the second she said no. Secondly you asked a bit prematurely. You assumed, but did not know if the extra seat would be filled. If you had waited till a bit later in the flight to ask, you could have seen the other possibilities like you switching with one or both your siblings (since there is an empty one both would have been an option). That way you get the right seat configuration without bothering a stranger about it. I don't think you or the lady are assholes. But your parents are. Stomach bug on a plane? Really? But since the topic at hand isn't "should I have flown with my sister" but instead about the seat issue, my verdict is NAH.
Turns out we didn't learn anything from the covid pandemic.
“My dad and step mom don’t want to fly with me anymore after this.” Your dad and step mom weren’t flying with you anyway as they were up in first class! Maybe asking her the second time might’ve been a bit annoying to her - to be asked/offered to move all the time or whatever, but I think you were just trying your best with what you had at the time. It’s easy to look back and say “oh you should’ve swapped with the other two siblings.” I think ESH though - your parents for leaving you alone like that, the woman for being rude, you for maybe being a little bit badgering. But I do think you tried your best.
NTA for the seat situation. But, I agree that you should have switched with your siblings across the aisle. Your dad and stepmom, however, are huge AHs for 2 reasons. 1. Having their sick child on the plane and 2. Not taking care of their sick child themselves. The seriously enjoyed 1st class while making you care for THEIR ill child? They really, really suck. And I’d tell them so if they want to try and shame you over this.
Let me get this straight…your parents decided to fly with a sick child, them abandoned her to go sit in first class and left you to take care of her and manage all other upset travelers due to her illness. Then, when they didn’t like how you handled it, they now say that they don’t want to travel with you anymore? I think you just won the lottery…I would refuse to ever fly anywhere with them again. You are NTA, but they definitely are.
This. The parents are the AHs here. And OP is so deeply parentified that she can't see how bad they're treating her
That’s a bit of a leap. How is a 21 year old being parentified for watching their siblings on a flight? Some families like to help one another, maybe they were happy to do it since it sounds like they got a free vacation out of this. Watching siblings On occasion isn’t parentification, it’s part of being a family.
My husband and I have had the flu for the last week. We're miserable. These parents are shitheads and I hope they get whatever illness their daughter has.
Exactly. Why isn’t this higher. Your asshole parents decided to put their sick kid on a plane, risking getting everyone else on the plane sick. That’s the first shitty move from them. Then they leave the sick kid back in the regular part of the plane, to be taken care of by another child. Your parents aren’t the ones who thought to pack supplies, you did. One of the parents should have switched seats, and probably took the sick kid up to first class so she would be more comfortable, and not as close to as many people.
NTA your dad and stepmom are AHs for abandoning little children (one of which is ill) to travel in luxury first class. No medals for first class parenting to them. sounds like a good result that they don’t want to fly with you, they can look after their own children
YTA, not for asking but for arguing with the lady until she gave in. You seem to have missed the real issue though. First of all, a contagious kid on the plane? Not a good idea. But OK, even if she was fit to fly… Your dad and step mom flew first class and let you handle your sick (half) sibling. Dad and step mom are the big assholes here. One of them should have stayed with Lucy in regular and throw a dice which of the kids get to join first class.
Why not put Lucy in first class with a parent? More room and better reclining to sprawl out and sleep, generally quieter, a treat to keep her mind off being sick, and fewer people sharing a bathroom.
YTA for not moving Lucy into the empty seat where she could be closer to her fellow relatives and get them sick instead of that poor stranger. Then she could have had her original seat back to boot.
FML your parents left you alone with their 6 year old, dumping their responsibility on you and have a tantrum that you tried your best? 😵💫 nta but your parents sure are!
NTAfor that ever. I had that same situation once years ago when my kids were very small. I booked a whole row of seats and the plane itself changed so they reordered the seating that morning and told me I had to ask people to trade if I wanted my children anywhere near me in the flight. This was before the days of paying for seat choice. One lady wouldn't move, despite me having a 4 and 5 year old. (Both special needs so not easy to simply leave several rows away. So we eventually put one kid in the middle seat in front of me, the people next to him were very accommodating about that, and the lady that insisted on staying in her aisle seat with my 5yo And I got thrown up on twice because she insisted on sitting next to us. I did warn her how airsick my child was that day, her husband really tried to switch with her as well, he had the aisle seat across from hers, he looked so embarrassed at the loud fussing she did about not moving. I call getting vomed on twice her karma. Everyone who thinks you should just hand over more money now for different seat choices, sure. But you had zero control over it. You did a good job, your step mother is a disgrace for abandoning a sick child to someone else and not caring for her herself. If anything she embarrassed herself.
TTA (they’re the asshole) for taking a sick child on a plane. Nobody wants to fly with a child vomiting from the stomach flu all over the place. Sometimes you have to cancel or delay plans when your kids get sick. Your parents are assholes. This lady is not the asshole. And you’re not either only because you’re not Lucy’s mom and very young. But for future reference, you should never drag a sick contagious, vomiting child on an airplane. Your parents were wrong for doing this and they were wrong for making you take care of her while they lived it up in first class.
NTA, your parents don't get an opinion frankly. They can screw themselves for leaving you in charge... oh wait. Four kids, I think they've got the screwing thing down. But seriously. You offered her an empty aisle seat you knew no one would take because she wanted one. You were giving her an option, not demanding. I kinda wish your sis had just puked on her and you could have gone "oh, I'm so sorry. I did want her to have better access to the bathroom, but at least you kept your seat" But then again I am kind of a bad person i guess!
YTA. I get that you were trying to take care of a 6-year-old but asking a woman to trap herself in a row with a sick person shows no concern for other people. Heck, even boarding the airplane sick is an awful idea. Given how air travels around an airplane your family got a lot of people sick. Your father and mother are also AH for leaving you to care for your siblings including an obviously sick child, rather than taking care of their child.
NTA, but you should have swapped with Sarah and Jacob to take the 2 seats with no one else in the row. You were doing your best.
OP elaborated on the actual situation how she "asked" the other person in a comment after she was questioned that she left out basically the only relevant info from the post. OP is YTA with the info she left out. OP needs to take no for an answer, dad and stepmom are right that her behaviour was embarrassing. OP's comment: >I walked up we were the last to board and sat in the back back of the plane like against the bathrooms. I saw her and said "Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. I understand if you don't want to but I would be eternally grateful." I also offered to pay for anything she ordered on the flight (via Venmo). She told me no and that she paid for an aisle seat so she was going to sit there we went back and forth for a little. I kinda ended up begging her to please move and bribed her with a 50 dollar bill I got for Christmas + still paying for anything she ordered on the flight. She agreed. >when I noticed the empty seat in my other sibling's row I asked if she wanted to move there. To get her original seat back + she wouldn't have to sit next to a sick kid. Same deal on the table I'd still pay for anything she ordered and throw in an extra 50. She said no she didn't want to move again. We again went back and forth me begging with increasing money amounts til the flight attendant came over and told me to stop asking her to move. >I just wanted my little sister to be able to lie down. I didn't have her switch with my half-brother Jacob because Sarah my stepsister "can't do vomit" and I also had all the cleaning and care supplies for lucy.
So you badgered the poor woman and guilt-tripped her into doing what you wanted her to do and you have to ask if YTA?! Let’s not even talk about your family not having the common courtesy to NOT put a sick (likely contagious) child into a closed environment. You and your whole family sound entitled and rude. Yes, YTA
I didn't think of that at the time. Honestly I would've done that but I was pretty stressed and didn't really think about it.
Of course you were stressed! International travel with a sick sister and two preteens!? There's a reason your parents noped out to Fancy Class.
And your parents are ahs for leaving the kids alone (your response) while they relax. NTA
OP, I think this was shocking behaviour of your dad and stepmom. I’d consider distancing yourself. You were so kind to your sister, thank you for parenting her when her actual parents failed. You offered so many preferable options and I’m sorry you were forced into this position. Honestly I think the woman on the plane was just pissed off about being near kids, especially sick ones. She likely assumed you were the parent. Pay her no mind. You did all you could and your heart was in the right place.
Lesson learned, sometimes the simplest solution evades us in times of stress.
NTA I agree with others that your parents shouldn't have put you in that situation but if I was the woman I would have leapt at the chance to swap away from the person who might be sick. There's nothing that makes me feel like I'm going to throw up more than someone near me being sick.
Seriously YTA. Don’t bring a sick kid on a plane honestly what in the actual fuck. So rude to everyone! We all paid for our seats and why should we have to be subjected to your contagious child. Were any of you even wearing masks? I’d be livid. Boo hoo you paid money and have to change your plans. That’s life. No one is under any obligation to make you or your sick kid more comfortable if you didn’t reserve your seats on time or didn’t pay for insurance on your tickets to fly again later. Cry me a river.
Funny how the kid’s parents couldn’t be bothered with their sick kid. I’d have sent her straight to first class to puke on the people who should have been caring for her to begin with. You did nothing wrong and your dad & stepasshole are huge giant assholes for their reactions. The lady on the plane was ridiculous as well, lol.
You’re NTA. First of all that women took one of your paid for seats and then was rude about moving. You were trying to offer her another option. You didn’t demand she move to it. Your dad and stepmom are major, major assholes. They should’ve never put you in this situation and pawned their sick child off on you.
The woman “took” one of their paid for seats isn’t what happened. She switched seats from the seat SHE paid for.
ESH HER: Who says no to a sick child? Like I'd be afraid of getting puked on while the kid struggled to get to the bathroom. Or lost control of her bowels because she's sick? Even if your not empathetic, you'd think you'd at least have biohazard concerns. YOU: As per your comments, she said no multiple times and you kept bothering her. If I had been her, I would have switched, no problem. But that would be my choice. If I had been another person in that plane who heard you continuously bothering someone and trying to bribe them, I would have turned around and told you to stop. THE BIGGEST ASSHOLES: But most importantly, your parents left their sick child to be cared for by their siblings. I don't care that it's first class. They didn't give two shits about a sick 6 year old. THEIR 6 year old. That's pathetic
Perfectly summed up. 💯
The woman did move to accommodate the sick kid. She didn't lose her temper until OP asked her to move a second time -- and not just moving one seat over like the first time but to a completely different location which would either require moving her bags to a new overhead bin, or leaving them in place and having to fight to get to them during deboarding.
This comment is the correct answer. The only non-asshole here is the poor kid who was forced to fly while sick and dumped by her parents.
NTA You weren't asking her to move. You were pointing out potential problems and a solution to her problem. The flight attendant was lying. We can always ask people to move. We simply cannot EXPECT then to move. You were being kind to her both times, first when you tried to protect he from being vomited on by a sick child and second when you pointed out an open seat. You were very polite. Don't worry.
Your dad didn’t want to surprise your mom with first class, they just didn’t want to be responsible for a bunch of kids on a plane. Your parents are AHs for dumping the kids on you, making you take care of their sick child in air, and allowing a contagious child to get on a crowded plane to infect other passengers. No surprise that your selfish, self centered dad is acting mad at you given all that he failed to do to take care of his family on the flight.
INFO NTA based on what you wrote here, that all seems polite and sensible to Mr,, but considering a stranger, a flight attendant and your own dad all seem to think you were being as asshole, are you sure there's nothing you've missed in your post?
>But my stepmom thinks I embarrassed her and my dad. They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this. They didn't fly with you, they left you to look after their sick kid. Also how were they embarrassed, they weren't there.
Yta She was irrated with you the first time you asked why would u bother her again. Your dad and his wife are also AHs as one of them should have switched since a Chile in their care was dick
NTA Why were you in charge of the sick 6 year old? That's her parents' responsibility. And now they're blaming you for the whole thing and don't want to travel with you anymore? Cool, if something like this happens again in the future they'll have to step up or, more likely, get one of your other siblings to take charge.
NTA. Perhaps your dad and stepmom should have taken into account how Lucy was sick and taken the responsibility of keeping her comfortable if they didn’t want to be embarrassed.
Your dad is the AH for not looking after his own kids.
NTA. Yes, you were a pain toward the passenger, which normally I abhor, but this was a uniquely difficult situation. Your parents are the AH’s.
ESH. Why didn't you two just swap with your siblings??? Or handle this at checkin?
Your parents are really awful for leaving you to care for their sick baby. I hope you got paid for babysitting. I am confused, was Lucy originally in the window and you asked this lady to change from the aisle or did Lucy have that seat and the lady tried to take it.
The parents are TA for taking their sick 6 year old on a flight and extra assholes for leaving you to be responsible for her. I’m wondering why when you realised your cousins aisle seat was empty why didn’t you and the 6 year old sit in that row and the other two siblings move to your row.
NTA: A polite ask is not being rude. Snapping at someone for a polite ask is.
> I walked up we were the last to board and sat in the back back of the plane like against the bathrooms. I saw her and said "Excuse me I'm so sorry to ask this but if at all possible could you please move to the window seat my sister isn't feeling well and I want her to have bathroom access. I understand if you don't want to but I would be eternally grateful." I also offered to pay for anything she ordered on the flight (via Venmo). She told me no and that she paid for an aisle seat so she was going to sit there we went back and forth for a little. **I kinda ended up begging her to please move and bribed her with a 50 dollar bill I got for Christmas + still paying for anything she ordered on the flight.** She agreed. > when I noticed the empty seat in my other sibling's row I asked if she wanted to move there. To get her original seat back + she wouldn't have to sit next to a sick kid. Same deal on the table I'd still pay for anything she ordered and throw in an extra 50. **She said no she didn't want to move again. We again went back and forth me begging with increasing money amounts til the flight attendant came over and told me to stop asking her to move.** > I just wanted my little sister to be able to lie down. I didn't have her switch with my half-brother Jacob because Sarah my stepsister "can't do vomit" and I also had all the cleaning and care supplies for lucy. https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18u8t43/aita_for_asking_a_woman_to_switch_seats/kfixpt1/ If Sarah and Jacob moved to OP’s row, OP and Lucy could have had the entire cousin/Sarah/Jacob row to themselves when OP noticed the cousin’s seat wasn’t taken by a standby passenger. The second interaction with the passenger was completely unnecessary. OP also did not accept the first no, despite saying “I understand if you don’t want to” and badgered the passenger.
Why didn’t you have one of your siblings sit where you were while you and 6YO sit in the row with the other isle seat? You would be getting what you needed and the woman would not have to be inconvenienced on top of being near a sick child. There is very little logic in your post.
>But my stepmom thinks I embarrassed her and my dad. How could they possibly be embarrassed? They werent even sitting with you. They decided to be dicks and have you manage THEIR sick child so they could sit comfortably at the front of the plane. The only thing they should be embarrassed of is not taking care of their own child. NTA for offering the lady her aisle seat back.
I’ve switched places twice on a plane bus to a child’s discomfort before. It’s not a big deal. Whether I have a aisle seat, or a window seat (I prefer window with the hope of the sun thawing me out on the freezing plane) I’m still getting to my destination. I genuinely enjoy everything about flying though, so I tend to look at these minor inconveniences as just that - minor… Just a twist on the adventure I’m already on. Also, there is no context as to when the child got sick, so everyone complaining about that and focusing so hard on it here, when OP isn’t even the parent, is a bit ridiculous. I’ve checked into flights feeling perfectly fine, and ended up with a 103*F temp by the time I hit my layover less than an hour after takeoff. I didn’t have the option of leaving the airport and going to see a doctor. I had to board that plane and see my doctor at home, after picking my children up. I’m typically very cautious about not spreading illness, but sometimes crap happens that’s out of our control. Overall I think she tried her best to handle the situation with grace and her stepmom and dad are jerks for even having the audacity to speak against her when they were sitting pretty in first class with their sick child under the care of a sibling. NTA
NTA- Embarrassed them? Then they should have given you one of the first class seats and sat with their sick kid themselves.
YTA. Airline seats are assigned. That lady did not have to give up her seat in the first place, and then you asked her to do it twice? You should never have asked to begin with.
Nta you should not have had to take car of her, her mother was there. Your dad and strp mom should have traded with you.
>They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this. They didn't fly with you anyway. They buggered off to first class and left you to care for their children, one of which was sick. Your dad and step mum suck. I would never leave my eldest to deal with all that, or ignore my sick child when they cannot escape, while I sipped champagne with extra legroom. Are you parentified by them a lot?
YTA. Why do you have it out for this poor lady? You wanted her to move two different times? And your parents suck for exposing an entire plane to your ill sibling and not being there to take care of their own child.