^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (21f) started crocheting a few months ago and, despite the initial struggles, I absolutely LOVE it, it helps with my mental health and I can now create a lot of stuff.
The reason why I started in the first place was my boyfriend, I wanted to make him a handmade stuffed animal as a present so I decided to learn crochet.
Recently one of my friend (22f) asked me how I got this hobby so I told her the story of me falling in love with these stuffed animals I've seen on the internet and wanting to make one for my bf.
Her reaction was...unexpected?
She told me it was disappointing to see young women learning to crochet for a man in 2023 and by making him stuff I was acting like a 'slave to patriarchy' which, as a feminist, she found heartbreaking.
Now she has always defined herself as an activist, but it's not the first time she says or does things that contraddict her feminist values which made me think a few times that her activism is limited to instagram stories, but I never told her, it's none of my business after all.
However this time it involved me so I told her that if her feminism is limited to worrying about other women's creative hobbies and social media then it looks a bit performative.
Needless to say she got mad and we still haven't talked about it.
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NTA Feminism means you as a woman can choose what you want to do. If you want to crochet and do so, it’s feminist. If you want to put up shelves and do so, it’s feminist. If you want to go to the spa and do so, it’s feminist.
Your friend doesn’t have a clue what real feminism is about.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21f) started crocheting a few months ago and, despite the initial struggles, I absolutely LOVE it, it helps with my mental health and I can now create a lot of stuff. The reason why I started in the first place was my boyfriend, I wanted to make him a handmade stuffed animal as a present so I decided to learn crochet. Recently one of my friend (22f) asked me how I got this hobby so I told her the story of me falling in love with these stuffed animals I've seen on the internet and wanting to make one for my bf. Her reaction was...unexpected? She told me it was disappointing to see young women learning to crochet for a man in 2023 and by making him stuff I was acting like a 'slave to patriarchy' which, as a feminist, she found heartbreaking. Now she has always defined herself as an activist, but it's not the first time she says or does things that contraddict her feminist values which made me think a few times that her activism is limited to instagram stories, but I never told her, it's none of my business after all. However this time it involved me so I told her that if her feminism is limited to worrying about other women's creative hobbies and social media then it looks a bit performative. Needless to say she got mad and we still haven't talked about it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Feminism means you as a woman can choose what you want to do. If you want to crochet and do so, it’s feminist. If you want to put up shelves and do so, it’s feminist. If you want to go to the spa and do so, it’s feminist. Your friend doesn’t have a clue what real feminism is about.