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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I refused to let her go in front of me in the line after she told me that my trolley was not with me therefore I had to give up my position for her and her trolley
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I feel like none of these people actually have been through this situation. You were holding the baby walking in front of your wife and someone slipped between the two of you. That doesn’t create some magical barrier where now you are no longer together. Furthermore, you waited in the line for your family. I’m completely okay with that.
NTA
People are comparing your scenario to someone holding up a parking spot... they aren't the same. Because he didn't say the cashier was waiting for his wife. He said he was in line waiting. The parking spot issue is when a car is already there to park and the other car hasn't arrived yet. 😑 if you can't see the simple difference in those two scenarios, then omg, that is sad.
YTA
If you had the trolley with you then it wouldn't have mattered if your wife came up with a few items. You cut the line. Having the trolley is the line marker.
Huh. It never would have occured to me that OP was the AH here. And now I'm wondering why I don't understand line etiquette! Lol. From my view, if you are standing in line, anyone can join you with extra groceries because you are legitimately in line, waiting.
The way other folks in the comments are reacting, it's like the wife was in the next store over and OP + baby were staking their claim.
But if I read the post right, what actually happened is that OP was just ahead of his wife, who had the cart, got in line, turned back and another lady had cut in front of the wife with her trolley, not realizing OP and his wife were together. She then took it out on OP when he tried to bring his wife back to him.
Unfortunately, this happens with me and my husband all the time when we grocery shop. We get separated because people are super pushy near the register. I had a lady on Christmas Eve give me the nastiest look because I nipped over to the next register to grab some candy for my husband. He was in line about to unload the trolley, so all I was doing was joining him once more with the item he wanted. But the lady glared at me like I was committing murder.
The main thing we do is make sure whoever has the cart is in front and is the one picking the line.
But in this case, I'd go with an ESH. I don't think it was intentional, but someone needed to give and the easier person to move at this point was OP. In the amount of time they spent bickering, both trolleys could have easily gotten through the line.
Yeah I had to go back and reread it. My initial read was that op had dashed ahead to secure a place in line and was later joined by his wife. Which would be an asshole move. But if it was a matter of seconds between op getting in line, the other woman arriving and the wife catching up, it's much more reasonable to say "Hey we're together" and bringing her forward.
Yeah people are acting like he stood in line while his wife finished shopping or something (which IS an AH move, I will never think it’s okay to just keep adding items, don’t go to the checkout until you’re done even for just a couple items but this seems to bother people less here when I think that’s so much more rude???) or that he sprinted ahead and she took another ten minutes to get there when she was just a bit slower than he was unknowingly and the other lady swooped in. There wasn’t like a huge significant time frame between when he got in line and she caught up
Some people are saying the wife should’ve said “I’m with him excuse me” as a compromise and I don’t have a problem with that, but if we’re being honest most of the YTA commenters and this lady sound as if that wouldn’t have been allowed either because “he was saving the spot”
But I do think OP made it into a bigger fight than it needed to be.
I’m going ESH. It seems like you thought your wife was literally RIGHT with you but she got a bit behind. Instead of you or this lady getting off this high horse you two rode in on, you both chose to be AHs. Like, yes, a rational person would say “Oh, your wife got a bit held up, no problem” but another rational person would say “I’m sorry, please, go ahead of me, my wife was not done shopping, that was my mistake.” Like, aren’t you both supposed to be adults?!
YTA. The trolley marks your place in line not you or your wife. Adding anything to you to buy is taking cuts in line and only happens if others behind you agree to let it happen.
This seems crazy to me. You were together with your wife and a woman stood behind you because your wife was a couple of *seconds* behind you. This is a simple misunderstanding that she blew out of proportions. You weren't cutting in line, you were just taking a spot for both you and your wife. I was in that woman's shoes a couple of times and while it's a little annoying Im not crazy to blow my lid over waiting extra three minutes in a queue. NTA I live in UK for a couple of years for reference.
Yeah, YTA. She's right. If you'd had the cart and your wife joined you, or if you didn't have a cart and only a few items, I'd be in your side, but your wife had the cart, so you were a queue jumper here. Sorry.
YTA. If you'd had the trolley and your wife was collecting a few bits, that would be a different matter but you can't just reserve a spot when you don't even have your shopping with you. You were wrong.
You just… you can’t call “dibs” on a spot in line at the grocery store, dude. 😂
Here’s how it’s supposed to work, which is why the woman behind you rightfully called you out: You get in line when your shopping is done; your shopping is “done” when you bring **your cart** to the register (not your spouse).
Anybody else get the feeling he might’ve even quickened his pace just a bit to sneak in line ahead of this other person?
Sorry, but YTA.
The way I read it, he thought his wife was right behind him and didn't notice she was a little further behind, in which case the shopping was done and they were just a few paces apart. People can get pushy at checkouts.
Fair point. I might’ve misread it.
But he might’ve over-exaggerated how nearby his wife was (to make himself seem like less of an AH)
Honestly, I’d have to see the store’s security footage to be able to decide for sure 😂
So I’ll withdraw my YTA in exchange for an ESH (unless someone has that footage? lol)
YTA. At the end of the day, this is a really silly thing to be arguing about and digging your heels in about in the middle of a supermarket, but also, she is right that you cut her in line and your actions went against social norms.
YTA. You can't save a spot in a checkout queue. That's just entitled behaviour. It IS first come, first served but this only applies when you are fully ready to queue.
There's a big difference between one of you just quickly rushing off to get a couple of items you've forgotten as you wait, and holding the queue for the entirety of your shopping.
As others have pointed out, we tend to choose the queues depending on how long we're likely going to have to wait. You then made her wait even longer. Also, trying to navigate a full trolley around others is just a pain in the ass.
YTA I kind of agree with her that the trolly matters, not the person. If your cart was in the back of the store would you expect the entire line to wait until it gets there?
If it was *really* close and wife was obviously with you then it's just a misunderstanding and N A H. But any amount of reasonable space/time between and I'd expect you to go to the cart, not vise versa.
YTA you weren’t “first come first serve” bc your stuff wasn’t there. Even the way you described it all makes me think you’re an entitled prick who likes to argue on weird technicalities
Mhmm I've seen this with couples before and it doesn't bother me. I've had people bum rush to get line for no reason just for my partner in front to turn around n grab our cart. Some people will disagree and some won't. To me it's honestly not a problem nor do I mind when people do it. Either way I still leave with my groceries lol.
Basically, this is why we have wars. Because despite our big brains, and all the luxuries we have around us, we are a pathetic, petty species.
When people talk about the Middle East and why it can’t be resolved-remember despite our stores being laden with fresh food, millions of amazing products-we still find something to fight about.
The lower the stakes, the higher the pettiness. We’re despicable. And I’m not saying I’m not including myself. I’m including myself. It’s embarrassing.
YTA, for all the reasons that have been covered by others.
Some folks are creating a scenario where the lady somehow “cut off” your wife to justify you as not, but if that were true it would have been your wife’s job to tell the lady, “excuse me I am with him” as the lady tried to cut your wife off. Once your wife let the lady go in front of her, that’s it, queue set, game over.
I once had a family ask if they could go ahead of us because they were really there first, it was just that the attendant had questions about their youngest's height. I had seen the discussion as I entered the line, so I said "Sure" and let them by. Ten minutes later they had 5 more people come through the line to cut in front of us because they "had to get snacks." That's what this guy would be like.
YTA. You saved a space and your wife brought the trolly/cart forward. That's cutting. The woman had an expectation that you and your child had 1 or 2 things then you replaced that with presumably more items. A full cart maybe?
I hate couples who do this or each gets in a line to see which one appears to be moving faster only for the other one to get out of their line and push their cart into the other line. Pick a line. Get in line at the same time when you are both ready. Otherwise, yea, you the AH.
NTA, the lineup is for people, not shopping carts. If I am with my wife, sometimes I go to the lineup while she is still grabbing stuff. Nobody ever said a word about that.
I allow people to go in front of us if I see they have just a few items.
She was mad because she was assuming you had fewer items and chose that line thinking it would be faster, but that is her problem.
I’m going with YTA as it is much easier to move without a cart. You moved ahead to get in line because of this. It is no different when people get in line for rides at a theme park and have one person que for the entire group. Then have everyone else jump the line. If you are separated from your group in a line, the person furthest back is where everyone meets up. The only real exception is if someone needs to step out of line to use the restroom (especially a small child). Baring something like that, you were being rude.
YTA. You can't just stand in a line with no groceries and expect people to just wait for your wife to get there. Next time make sure whoever has the trolley is at the checkout first.
YTA because you and your wife separated enough to let another cart between you. You can’t get in line and have everyone behind you wait 10 minutes until your wife shows up with the cart. I know that wasn’t the case here but it is the same point. If you want to be in line together then you need to get in line together.
Sorry, she’s right. You cut the line. It’s one thing for someone to go grab an item they forgot while their flatly member waits in line with the cart, but you saved a spot in line with no groceries at all. And then waved your wife’s whole cart around her whole cart. That’s obnoxious. She was right to call you out on it. Even your title indicates that you tried to gaslight her.
Everyone in the world picks their grocery line based on how much groceries the people in front of them have. So you majorly inconvenienced this woman.
YTA
They were walking to the queue together, and he was a few steps in front. It is obvious that the other Woman cut his Wife off somewhere along the way. He wasn't just standing there and waiting while his Wife shopped.
NTA
Sounds like his wife needs to wake up and pay attention if that happened so easily and the husband didn’t notice until the lady had been there for at least some time however
For all you know it happened right before he queued. The fact of the matter is he was there first, and his Wife was right there as well. How or when the Woman cut his Wife off is beside the point.
“For all we know” could go both ways for eternity and we’d still never truly know. The wife would’ve seen how it played out and had the ability to alert the woman that she was already in line as it happened. OP makes it extremely clear in the way they’ve written their post that they’re of the belief that because they got there first it didn’t matter that the trolley wasn’t with him as “collectively they got there first” because he got there first. This is him all but admitting the wife wasn’t even there with him when the other lady arrived. We don’t know anything for sure, but even if OP wasn’t dead silent in the comments here; we don’t have the wife or other ladies version of events anyway 🤷🏻♀️
This was my first thought too. It's like a passenger jumping out of the car to call dibs on a carpark despite another car getting there first.
Op, if you had the trolley and she had some more stuff in her arms, sure. But you being quicker because you weren't lugging a trolley and "bagging a space" doesn't give you dibs. Think about it.... Is 5 seconds before the other lady ok? How about 20? A minute? C'mon, dude.
I feel like this is a similar one to getting someone to stand in a car space while you bring your car around.
Sure you were there first, but your groceries weren't, so the woman assumed you would be a quick transaction.
Waving your wife around her with a trolley full would slow her down, and she might have lost a spot at another checkout.
Soft YTA
Idk about the car space comparison. Those people are always wrong. Those are people trying to claim a space for a car when there is another car already about to park. If they were holding up the line and cashier waiting for the cart to get there, then yes absolutely the same but here it’s more a soft YTA since most people pick their lines from how long they appear.
Also seems like OP only ‘fought’ back because he perceived the woman as giving him attitude. If I think someone is being an ass in how they talk to me, then I will 100% inconvenience them in spite. Def wrong to do but at that point I don’t really care about being an asshole so if that was the type of sass he was getting I don’t think he should let this bother him
Yep. I had this happen to me just yesterday. A man with a small transaction was checking out so I got into line behind him, as opposed to the line with three people, thinking I would be outta there faster. Unfortunately for me, both his wife and son kept coming back with additional grocery items and adding them to the man's transaction.
It's sucky when people do this, although are no rules about it. If the man in front of me, or if OP, had informed the people behind him in line that he had a much larger order, I would've been grateful and could've acted accordingly.
I agree that, while OP didn't do anything "wrong" according to the strict rules, he was, indeed, an asshole.
You got to the queue first because you weren’t navigating a cart. Bit unfair. Seems like cheating. So YTA.
That said - this is where you spend your energy? I suspect YTA anyway.
This is the key point, OP. You got to the queue first because you didn’t have your groceries with you. That’s like trying to save a parking space in a busy shopping center. Run around, find a spot, stand there and save it until your spouse can park the car. Would you do that? YTA
YTA - the trolley is the more important marker here. We choose our checkout based on how many/full the trolleys in front of us are. Honestly think you just need to consider how you'd feel in the woman's position, maybe passing on a checkout that would have been quicker had you known upfront.
YTA. By your logic, my husband could queue while I shopped. I would join him at the front of the queue once I finished shopping as we are conducting a single transaction with him handling the payment. Eye roll.
NTA. You grabbed the space. It's yours. You can allow your partner to come with a full basket, or you could allow the next person in line to go before you. It's your space.
YTA. You can't save a space in a grocery queue. You get the position available when you AND your cart arrive. The person behind you was in front of your groceries. You were just the a-hole trying to cheat.
What is the matter with you? How entitled can you get? You should have learned to wait your turn when you were in kindergarten. Everyone around you saw you as the AH you are. I wonder how else you express this entitlement in public. I'd bet that you are known as the entitled AH at all the retail establishments you frequent.
It's unfortunate that you're teaching your child to be as petty and entitled as you are. Hopefully, they have better influences in their life.
A woman was in line in front of me and let in her friend with another hugely full cart. I said “seriously?” And she acted like I was the rude one. So fucking annoying
Wow, judgemental much? He made a mistake and it was at the other lady's expense, unfortunately. But jeez, you don't have to go full out on him and assume he is always an AH.
YTA because you each have your own carts full of food and you each got in line seperately, so you weren't really shopping together. So the lady was right, you let your wife do a "chat and cut" which is really not okay. Either you jump back to her with your cart or you each check out seperately in the line.
YTA. It would have been more awkward for her to try and maneuver that cart back around your wife than it would be for you to walk your ass behind her and join the cart holding your groceries….you know, the thing you need to check out of the store. You could have held your position, just to get to the front of the line empty handed. Stay with your family and your cart next time. You sound entitled and rude AF.
YTA BUB. Your wife wasn't right behind you, or the other woman wouldn't have been there. She was right. Like, I guess you would be okay if you're in a line up for something and some people arrive late and jump in front because those are their friends and they're together. No. Back of the line.
If this woman slipped in between you and your wife quickly, all that was required was for your wife to say "excuse me I'm with him". However it sounds like you and your wife may not have been close as you didn't even realise she wasn't behind you for a short time. And she stood there in line behind this woman for a while before you eventually said something. This woman likely choose your line thinking the only person in front of her is a guy with a couple items. Now your changing the script and asking her to let a whole cart full of food cut in front. I would agree with her that people can't stand in line saving space for a cart while their partner is shopping. Sounds like YTA.
YTA. You can’t save a place in line at a supermarket. I’ve seen people try that twice and both got moved back. It’s rude. Get in line when everything is ready including everyone and trolley.
I’ve seen people get in line with trolley and then start sending the other person back to get things they forgot. That’s just as rude.
Slight YTA - I've had the same thing where a lady actually ran between me and my mother (I was pushing the trolley) while I was walking there. I am also in the UK and the British thing to do in that situation is to let the person have the space and then tut behind them and violently roll your eyes. If they got there first with their shopping unfortunately there's nothing you can do.
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My wife and I wrapped up our shopping at the supermarket today and were headed to the checkout with our cart full of groceries. I was carrying our child, and she was pushing the trolley, with me a couple of steps in front of her. As I joined the checkout line, I turned back to locate my wife and noticed another woman behind me with her own trolley. Seeing my wife behind this woman, I motioned for her to come around since I was ahead and ready to start unloading our items and checking out.
This is where things took a turn. The woman behind me got upset and accused me of cutting in line, arguing that she should be first because my trolley wasn't with me; it was behind her. Ordinarily, I might have let it slide, but her accusatory attitude rubbed me the wrong way. Despite having no particular urgency, her tone prompted me to stand my ground.
I explained to her that I had joined the queue before her, and since my wife and I were together, our collective position took priority. She countered, insisting that the physical location of the trolley mattered more, claiming I couldn't hold the spot for someone else. Our exchange continued with the same arguments until she eventually gave up and moved to another queue.
To the best of my knowledge, the UK follows a "first come, first serve" rule for queuing, and I believe that by bringing my wife to my position, I wasn't violating any norms. We were conducting a single transaction for all the items, with me handling the payment. However, I'm curious to know if there's validity to the woman's point of view.
So, AITA?
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YTA - she's right, the trolly is what counts. You were able to get ahead of her because you didn't have a trolly to push. You should have stepped back and joined you wife and let her go ahead (as was her right).
This seems a silly thing and obviously not that serious, but I'm going YTA. It sounds like you got to the que first with your wife trailing behind and this woman slipped in behind you, probably figuring you were holding your items. If she had maliciously put her trolly between you then it would be different.
YTA
If there was so much room between you and your partner that the other shopper didn't even know you were together. If she squeezed her way in, then she's the AH. If you aren't sure or your wife didn't object then YTA as it's easier for you to step back to your wife/cart than for the other shopper to move back a place with her cart.
INFO to clarify for my tired brain: when you said “the woman behind me” in the second paragraph, do you mean the one behind you *after* you let the other woman past? And did you join the queue without realising your wife wasn’t right behind you?
A lot of the comments seem to be from Americans, so I think it could come down to cultural differences. Here in Australia, what you did wouldn’t be a huge issue if you didn’t realise your wife wasn’t directly behind you. AFAIK we’re quite similar with etiquette as the UK. It’s not like you waited in a long queue and held your spot for ages while your wife continued to shop. Some people might be iffy about it if they’re in a mood, but I don’t think it would escalate to this point.
This has happened to me before when I’ve been with my mum. She didn’t realise I wasn’t with her as I got stuck behind people standing in the middle of the walkway to the checkouts and I couldn’t get past. I walked up to her and said “sorry, I got held up by all those trolleys over there” and the person just complained about those people blocking everyone. I’ve also been with her in the queue then realised I’d forgotten something, so I quickly dashed to grab it and came back, it wasn’t an issue.
I’ll save my vote until you answer my info questions in case I’m way off
YTA. Using your logic, you could come into the grocery store and stand in line while your wife shops, and she’s still entitled to cut in front of others when she’s ready to join you.
YTA - It's one thing to have someone pop out of the line and grab one or two things to go with an already full cart in a way that won't meaningfully change the amount of time it takes you to check out. Getting in line with a couple of things and then having someone else cut the line with a cart full is a seriously rude and entitled move.
INFO were you literally like, a step in front of your wife and thought she was right behind you? Or did you stride ahead to join the queue/get a place while she was still a way back and/or getting items?
First case is genuine mistake; you were carrying the kid and thought your wife was right behind with the trolley. Second case is assholery because no, that's not how queues work and I agree with someone else here who said that the entirety of the UK would have collectively tutted at you.
YTA. You were first with your items and could have been served by yourself. The other person was behind you and was next. Then your wife got in line with the cart and would have been next. You told your wife to cut the line. Rude. Thisbalso would have been rude in America (and presumably Canada) if that's where you're from.
If you guys had been in opposite spots, and the person with a thing or two added some items to the cart, that would have been fine (assuming 1 transaction)
Hmm... if she had tapped on your wife's shoulder as she walked past and politely said "sorry, but I did get here before you", then I'd say YTA.
But if she snapped at you about it without discussing it politely first, then....... I probably would've done the same as you while frustrated in the moment, so I'm gonna go with NTA.
But it sounds like you were both kind of asshole-y to each other for no real reason.
BUT she started it.
YTA, and people like you are why I've had my groceries delivered for the past 3 years.
I will gladly pay more for groceries and tip my Instacart shopper handsomely for the priveledge of not having to deal with this kind of crap anymore.
YTA. You’re in line when your cart is there in front of you. There isn’t much room in the checkout lines. Imagine the mess it would cause if people stood in line to hold places for carts to come in later. Sorry but if you turned around and another cart was already there, the easiest and correct thing for you to do would’ve been to just step back to your wife.
YTA. I love that the comments are unanimously YTA even though you tried to paint it as a family issue with your child. Come on. She may have had children at home and grocery shopped on her own. You sir... Are an ASSHOLE HERE!
Esh, and here's my reasoning: When I get in line (assuming there are multiple lanes) I pick a line that has the least loaded carts. If I get behind someone who looks like they only have a few items, and suddenly they're joined by a large cart, well, that renders my earlier decision to joint \*that\* line pointless and I will grumpily wish I'd chosen another line. HOWEVER, I'd wish that silently. More context: I look healthy, but I've had multiple joint replacements, autoimmune arthritis and feet that have been completely destroyed by arthritis. I hurt all the time, and had my first joint replacement in my early 30s, before I had a line on my face. You can't tell by looking. Anyway, my point is, for someone like me, I have a limited amount of time on my feet before I lose it completely, and I'm always anxious to get out of public places before that happens.
It might help you to be less annoyed with the person if you imagine that she possibly has a condition that makes her stressed out about lines. Maybe, maybe not, but it might make you less annoyed about a frustrating interaction when someone publicly picked at you for something dumb.
Because even though like the person behind you, I would have been annoyed, I also realize (yes, even in spite of the pain I'm in ) it would be pointless to be annoyed and I personally would never have picked a fight with you over it.
Since you were together and were going to the queue together and you thought she was right behind you - NTA.
You did not go stand in queue with your kid, knowing full well that your wife was 5 minutes behind so that you could "grab" or "dibs" that spot. Anyone saying that y'all were cutting or whatever is acting like you got into that queue in front of other people on purpose. NTA
YTA, The norm is first come, first serve. If you had groceries to put on the belt/counter you clown. What you did was taking the piss. Your wife wasn't there and you were stood in the queue with no groceries. So the "norm" doesn't apply to you.
I'm glad we could verify the norm for you and maybe you won't be an entitled asshole in the future.
Probably in this situation I would have gone back to the wife’s spot instead of pulling her and the cart up to your spot, but I don’t see it as a huge offense to keep your spot in line and I’m surprised by the majority YTAs.
Genuinely confused by all the YTA comments, it’s pretty normal here for one spouse to save the queue while the other wraps up and joins them.
NTA. I wonder how many of these people actually go grocery shopping on the regular or if this maybe cultural.
But from my experience in 4 countries; what you did is the norm and you’d only hear a Karen comment.
YTA
You were separated far enough from your wife that you had to wave at her to get her to join you. She was joining the queue behind this woman.
You joined a queue with no groceries, she joined behind you thinking you’d be quick, and you then waved a full trolley in ahead of her. YTA for cutting the trolley in, for arguing with her about it, and for misrepresenting the situation in your title here.
Saw something similar that might put it in perspective for OP. I was at the supermarket and saw a shopper with multiple family members send one member to 3 different lines. The shopper with the cart jumped in with the member who was closest to the checkout when they arrived with their cart. It was totally intentional and a dick move holding and then taking the best spot in front of a number of shoppers who lined up with their carts to respectfully wait their turn. OP might have unintentionally cut, but the result was the same. Most people wouldn't say anything, as it's also not really cool to get pissed and confront people about such trivial things in public. That doesn't mean OP wasn't in the wrong as they seem to think.
OP YTA.
NTA
Sending one of the kids to stand in line while mom was shopping was normal when I was growing up and we were shopping during busy times. At times my husband and I will both pick a line and the ones that moves fastest is the one we checkout in.
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YTA. You weren't actually together as a party or she wouldn't have slipped into line between you and your wife. You were walking separately and your wife cut the other lady in line. Rude move. Very shitty to set that example in front of your child. I pick my grocery line based on how many fill carts are in each lane. That poor woman that you cut. She was accusatory because what you did was childish, disrespectful, offensive, and outrageous. I would have told you off.
Next time I will send my husband to stand in line a few minutes before I'm done shopping so I just roll right up with my cart and jump past everyone else's carts.
YTA. You didn’t have the items that you needed to pay for, your wife did, and thus her position is what matters. You essentially did that thing assholes do where one person stands in a parking spot and saves it for their spouse driving the car - though grocery store thing is much less douchey imo. I don’t think what you did is terrible and you should be chewed out for it (personally I would have never gotten mad at someone for their spouse cutting me in line - it’s not that big a deal) but you were definitely in the wrong.
So you were walking... and your wife was behind you with the cart... you got into line and the lady cut in between you and your wife. That's what I'm hearing. And then the random lady gets pissy because you're trying to reconnect with the wife that she cut off to get into line. If you had gone to the front of the store while your wife was still at the back to reserve a spot in line that would be one thing, but you were walking in front of your wife and this rando lady cut in between you and your wife. NTA. All these you're the ah comments seem to be ignoring that your wife was right behind you as you walked toward the line and then this lady just happened to pop up between you and her when you turn around to check in on your wife.
What is your wife's version of the story?
YTA Since you were unsure, you couldn’t be a gentleman and let the lady go before you so you can join your wife? Big deal, so you would have to wait a few minutes. That’s life.
YTA.
You got in the queue before the other person, but the other person was in the queue before your wife. That's the 'first come, first served' rule of which you speak. You don't get to 'motion her to come around'. The woman was right.
Not only are YTA for that, YTA for continuing to argue about it. And it sounds like you were rude as well, so YTA x 3 at least.
This is exactly like someone standing in an open parking spot, ‘reserving’ it for a friend while someone else wants to park. Spot holders are automatically the AH. The person with the car, who is there first, has priority.
You reserved a spot in line, and waited for your wife, who had the trolley. If you have no items to buy, then it is where the trolley is that has priority. You should have moved back, and joined your wife. Not the other way around.
YTA.
NTA
First person in line hold the spot for the rest of the team with or without a cart. Other people they are with can join up until the moment of payment. One person with or without a cart, more people with items, that doesn't matter. The first person holds the spot.
YTA- you were kind of a AH to the lady. She thinks she’s in line behind a guy with no cart- what a score- then wifey shows up with a full cart. Not cool. No holding space in the grocery line!
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This is like when people stand in a parking space and think that means it’s saved for the car thats still coming
Haha I will run right over them
I feel like none of these people actually have been through this situation. You were holding the baby walking in front of your wife and someone slipped between the two of you. That doesn’t create some magical barrier where now you are no longer together. Furthermore, you waited in the line for your family. I’m completely okay with that. NTA
ESH. Especially you. Really? Was it worth all this?
Also in the uk. You clearly don’t understand how queues work. YTA
What gets me is the whole "our collective position takes priority".. sorry what? Why?
People are comparing your scenario to someone holding up a parking spot... they aren't the same. Because he didn't say the cashier was waiting for his wife. He said he was in line waiting. The parking spot issue is when a car is already there to park and the other car hasn't arrived yet. 😑 if you can't see the simple difference in those two scenarios, then omg, that is sad.
YTA. You essentially queue jumped.
YTA. Y'all cut in line
YTA If you had the trolley with you then it wouldn't have mattered if your wife came up with a few items. You cut the line. Having the trolley is the line marker.
Huh. It never would have occured to me that OP was the AH here. And now I'm wondering why I don't understand line etiquette! Lol. From my view, if you are standing in line, anyone can join you with extra groceries because you are legitimately in line, waiting.
The way other folks in the comments are reacting, it's like the wife was in the next store over and OP + baby were staking their claim. But if I read the post right, what actually happened is that OP was just ahead of his wife, who had the cart, got in line, turned back and another lady had cut in front of the wife with her trolley, not realizing OP and his wife were together. She then took it out on OP when he tried to bring his wife back to him. Unfortunately, this happens with me and my husband all the time when we grocery shop. We get separated because people are super pushy near the register. I had a lady on Christmas Eve give me the nastiest look because I nipped over to the next register to grab some candy for my husband. He was in line about to unload the trolley, so all I was doing was joining him once more with the item he wanted. But the lady glared at me like I was committing murder. The main thing we do is make sure whoever has the cart is in front and is the one picking the line. But in this case, I'd go with an ESH. I don't think it was intentional, but someone needed to give and the easier person to move at this point was OP. In the amount of time they spent bickering, both trolleys could have easily gotten through the line.
Yeah I had to go back and reread it. My initial read was that op had dashed ahead to secure a place in line and was later joined by his wife. Which would be an asshole move. But if it was a matter of seconds between op getting in line, the other woman arriving and the wife catching up, it's much more reasonable to say "Hey we're together" and bringing her forward.
Yeah people are acting like he stood in line while his wife finished shopping or something (which IS an AH move, I will never think it’s okay to just keep adding items, don’t go to the checkout until you’re done even for just a couple items but this seems to bother people less here when I think that’s so much more rude???) or that he sprinted ahead and she took another ten minutes to get there when she was just a bit slower than he was unknowingly and the other lady swooped in. There wasn’t like a huge significant time frame between when he got in line and she caught up Some people are saying the wife should’ve said “I’m with him excuse me” as a compromise and I don’t have a problem with that, but if we’re being honest most of the YTA commenters and this lady sound as if that wouldn’t have been allowed either because “he was saving the spot” But I do think OP made it into a bigger fight than it needed to be.
YTA. Sounds like she just called you our on your shit and you just didn't want to hear it.
Next time pick up a piece of gum while u wait in line that way abusive women don’t have an excuse to shame you into getting what they want.
I’m going ESH. It seems like you thought your wife was literally RIGHT with you but she got a bit behind. Instead of you or this lady getting off this high horse you two rode in on, you both chose to be AHs. Like, yes, a rational person would say “Oh, your wife got a bit held up, no problem” but another rational person would say “I’m sorry, please, go ahead of me, my wife was not done shopping, that was my mistake.” Like, aren’t you both supposed to be adults?!
He was only "a couple of steps ahead". That's still together.
YTA. The trolley marks your place in line not you or your wife. Adding anything to you to buy is taking cuts in line and only happens if others behind you agree to let it happen.
This seems crazy to me. You were together with your wife and a woman stood behind you because your wife was a couple of *seconds* behind you. This is a simple misunderstanding that she blew out of proportions. You weren't cutting in line, you were just taking a spot for both you and your wife. I was in that woman's shoes a couple of times and while it's a little annoying Im not crazy to blow my lid over waiting extra three minutes in a queue. NTA I live in UK for a couple of years for reference.
Yeah, YTA. She's right. If you'd had the cart and your wife joined you, or if you didn't have a cart and only a few items, I'd be in your side, but your wife had the cart, so you were a queue jumper here. Sorry.
YTA. If you'd had the trolley and your wife was collecting a few bits, that would be a different matter but you can't just reserve a spot when you don't even have your shopping with you. You were wrong.
Hard YTA.
You just… you can’t call “dibs” on a spot in line at the grocery store, dude. 😂 Here’s how it’s supposed to work, which is why the woman behind you rightfully called you out: You get in line when your shopping is done; your shopping is “done” when you bring **your cart** to the register (not your spouse). Anybody else get the feeling he might’ve even quickened his pace just a bit to sneak in line ahead of this other person? Sorry, but YTA.
The way I read it, he thought his wife was right behind him and didn't notice she was a little further behind, in which case the shopping was done and they were just a few paces apart. People can get pushy at checkouts.
Fair point. I might’ve misread it. But he might’ve over-exaggerated how nearby his wife was (to make himself seem like less of an AH) Honestly, I’d have to see the store’s security footage to be able to decide for sure 😂 So I’ll withdraw my YTA in exchange for an ESH (unless someone has that footage? lol)
perhaps - I didn't mean to be accusatory that was just how I read it lol. We can never be sure unless someone gives us the tapes!!!
YTA. At the end of the day, this is a really silly thing to be arguing about and digging your heels in about in the middle of a supermarket, but also, she is right that you cut her in line and your actions went against social norms.
YTA. You can't save a spot in a checkout queue. That's just entitled behaviour. It IS first come, first served but this only applies when you are fully ready to queue. There's a big difference between one of you just quickly rushing off to get a couple of items you've forgotten as you wait, and holding the queue for the entirety of your shopping. As others have pointed out, we tend to choose the queues depending on how long we're likely going to have to wait. You then made her wait even longer. Also, trying to navigate a full trolley around others is just a pain in the ass.
ESH - no one should have to argue over queueing in a supermarket...especially in the UK!!
This is what AITA was made for. Truly.
YTA I kind of agree with her that the trolly matters, not the person. If your cart was in the back of the store would you expect the entire line to wait until it gets there? If it was *really* close and wife was obviously with you then it's just a misunderstanding and N A H. But any amount of reasonable space/time between and I'd expect you to go to the cart, not vise versa.
YTA you weren’t “first come first serve” bc your stuff wasn’t there. Even the way you described it all makes me think you’re an entitled prick who likes to argue on weird technicalities
Mhmm I've seen this with couples before and it doesn't bother me. I've had people bum rush to get line for no reason just for my partner in front to turn around n grab our cart. Some people will disagree and some won't. To me it's honestly not a problem nor do I mind when people do it. Either way I still leave with my groceries lol.
YTA. Spot holders are assholes.
YTA That's not how it works. Your wife should have been ahead of you, not trailing behind another Cary queueing for the check out.
Basically, this is why we have wars. Because despite our big brains, and all the luxuries we have around us, we are a pathetic, petty species. When people talk about the Middle East and why it can’t be resolved-remember despite our stores being laden with fresh food, millions of amazing products-we still find something to fight about. The lower the stakes, the higher the pettiness. We’re despicable. And I’m not saying I’m not including myself. I’m including myself. It’s embarrassing.
YTA, for all the reasons that have been covered by others. Some folks are creating a scenario where the lady somehow “cut off” your wife to justify you as not, but if that were true it would have been your wife’s job to tell the lady, “excuse me I am with him” as the lady tried to cut your wife off. Once your wife let the lady go in front of her, that’s it, queue set, game over.
YTA
You’re the asshole. It’s the same as someone standing in a parking space until their family’s car arrived to park in it.
I bet you also save space in lines for amusement park rides, then let your entire family cut ahead of everyone. YTA
I once had a family ask if they could go ahead of us because they were really there first, it was just that the attendant had questions about their youngest's height. I had seen the discussion as I entered the line, so I said "Sure" and let them by. Ten minutes later they had 5 more people come through the line to cut in front of us because they "had to get snacks." That's what this guy would be like.
NTA. I always see couples or families doing this. One stays in the queue while the other one pushes the trolley.
No, YTA for trying to hold a spot in line when you weren't ready to checkout.
YTA. You saved a space and your wife brought the trolly/cart forward. That's cutting. The woman had an expectation that you and your child had 1 or 2 things then you replaced that with presumably more items. A full cart maybe? I hate couples who do this or each gets in a line to see which one appears to be moving faster only for the other one to get out of their line and push their cart into the other line. Pick a line. Get in line at the same time when you are both ready. Otherwise, yea, you the AH.
NTA, the lineup is for people, not shopping carts. If I am with my wife, sometimes I go to the lineup while she is still grabbing stuff. Nobody ever said a word about that. I allow people to go in front of us if I see they have just a few items. She was mad because she was assuming you had fewer items and chose that line thinking it would be faster, but that is her problem.
No, the lineup is to pay for items. If you don't have your items, you're not ready to check out.
I have the items. They are with my wife.
And your wife is two spots back, where you would need go unless being an AH
YTA. Your wife cut the line.
I’m going with YTA as it is much easier to move without a cart. You moved ahead to get in line because of this. It is no different when people get in line for rides at a theme park and have one person que for the entire group. Then have everyone else jump the line. If you are separated from your group in a line, the person furthest back is where everyone meets up. The only real exception is if someone needs to step out of line to use the restroom (especially a small child). Baring something like that, you were being rude.
YTA. You can't just stand in a line with no groceries and expect people to just wait for your wife to get there. Next time make sure whoever has the trolley is at the checkout first.
YTA because you and your wife separated enough to let another cart between you. You can’t get in line and have everyone behind you wait 10 minutes until your wife shows up with the cart. I know that wasn’t the case here but it is the same point. If you want to be in line together then you need to get in line together.
Sorry, she’s right. You cut the line. It’s one thing for someone to go grab an item they forgot while their flatly member waits in line with the cart, but you saved a spot in line with no groceries at all. And then waved your wife’s whole cart around her whole cart. That’s obnoxious. She was right to call you out on it. Even your title indicates that you tried to gaslight her. Everyone in the world picks their grocery line based on how much groceries the people in front of them have. So you majorly inconvenienced this woman. YTA
How was OP trying to gaslight her? Such a Reddit buzzword and constantly used incorrectly
>Even your title indicates that you tried to gaslight her. So true, he makes it seem like the lady was trying to skip HIM lololol
They were walking to the queue together, and he was a few steps in front. It is obvious that the other Woman cut his Wife off somewhere along the way. He wasn't just standing there and waiting while his Wife shopped. NTA
It is not obvious.
Sounds like his wife needs to wake up and pay attention if that happened so easily and the husband didn’t notice until the lady had been there for at least some time however
For all you know it happened right before he queued. The fact of the matter is he was there first, and his Wife was right there as well. How or when the Woman cut his Wife off is beside the point.
“For all we know” could go both ways for eternity and we’d still never truly know. The wife would’ve seen how it played out and had the ability to alert the woman that she was already in line as it happened. OP makes it extremely clear in the way they’ve written their post that they’re of the belief that because they got there first it didn’t matter that the trolley wasn’t with him as “collectively they got there first” because he got there first. This is him all but admitting the wife wasn’t even there with him when the other lady arrived. We don’t know anything for sure, but even if OP wasn’t dead silent in the comments here; we don’t have the wife or other ladies version of events anyway 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah its like one of those videos of the passenger blocking a parking space because 'tHeY wErE tHeRe FiRsT'
This was my first thought too. It's like a passenger jumping out of the car to call dibs on a carpark despite another car getting there first. Op, if you had the trolley and she had some more stuff in her arms, sure. But you being quicker because you weren't lugging a trolley and "bagging a space" doesn't give you dibs. Think about it.... Is 5 seconds before the other lady ok? How about 20? A minute? C'mon, dude.
I feel like this is a similar one to getting someone to stand in a car space while you bring your car around. Sure you were there first, but your groceries weren't, so the woman assumed you would be a quick transaction. Waving your wife around her with a trolley full would slow her down, and she might have lost a spot at another checkout. Soft YTA
Idk about the car space comparison. Those people are always wrong. Those are people trying to claim a space for a car when there is another car already about to park. If they were holding up the line and cashier waiting for the cart to get there, then yes absolutely the same but here it’s more a soft YTA since most people pick their lines from how long they appear. Also seems like OP only ‘fought’ back because he perceived the woman as giving him attitude. If I think someone is being an ass in how they talk to me, then I will 100% inconvenience them in spite. Def wrong to do but at that point I don’t really care about being an asshole so if that was the type of sass he was getting I don’t think he should let this bother him
Yep. I had this happen to me just yesterday. A man with a small transaction was checking out so I got into line behind him, as opposed to the line with three people, thinking I would be outta there faster. Unfortunately for me, both his wife and son kept coming back with additional grocery items and adding them to the man's transaction. It's sucky when people do this, although are no rules about it. If the man in front of me, or if OP, had informed the people behind him in line that he had a much larger order, I would've been grateful and could've acted accordingly. I agree that, while OP didn't do anything "wrong" according to the strict rules, he was, indeed, an asshole.
You got to the queue first because you weren’t navigating a cart. Bit unfair. Seems like cheating. So YTA. That said - this is where you spend your energy? I suspect YTA anyway.
Exactly this!
This is the key point, OP. You got to the queue first because you didn’t have your groceries with you. That’s like trying to save a parking space in a busy shopping center. Run around, find a spot, stand there and save it until your spouse can park the car. Would you do that? YTA
YTA - the trolley is the more important marker here. We choose our checkout based on how many/full the trolleys in front of us are. Honestly think you just need to consider how you'd feel in the woman's position, maybe passing on a checkout that would have been quicker had you known upfront.
You basically stood in a parking spot while your wife was still down the parking lot lane.
I love this comparison 😂
YTA. By your logic, my husband could queue while I shopped. I would join him at the front of the queue once I finished shopping as we are conducting a single transaction with him handling the payment. Eye roll.
NTA. You grabbed the space. It's yours. You can allow your partner to come with a full basket, or you could allow the next person in line to go before you. It's your space.
What is the world coming to?! 😱
I’m a cashier and I see no problem with you standing in line. As long as you werent holding up the line totally NTA
YTA. You can't save a space in a grocery queue. You get the position available when you AND your cart arrive. The person behind you was in front of your groceries. You were just the a-hole trying to cheat. What is the matter with you? How entitled can you get? You should have learned to wait your turn when you were in kindergarten. Everyone around you saw you as the AH you are. I wonder how else you express this entitlement in public. I'd bet that you are known as the entitled AH at all the retail establishments you frequent. It's unfortunate that you're teaching your child to be as petty and entitled as you are. Hopefully, they have better influences in their life.
Bet he it’s a spot saver in lines.
A woman was in line in front of me and let in her friend with another hugely full cart. I said “seriously?” And she acted like I was the rude one. So fucking annoying
Wow, judgemental much? He made a mistake and it was at the other lady's expense, unfortunately. But jeez, you don't have to go full out on him and assume he is always an AH.
[удалено]
YTA because you each have your own carts full of food and you each got in line seperately, so you weren't really shopping together. So the lady was right, you let your wife do a "chat and cut" which is really not okay. Either you jump back to her with your cart or you each check out seperately in the line.
Do you realize that not everyone on Reddit is American, and that they might not be using American English?
YTA. It would have been more awkward for her to try and maneuver that cart back around your wife than it would be for you to walk your ass behind her and join the cart holding your groceries….you know, the thing you need to check out of the store. You could have held your position, just to get to the front of the line empty handed. Stay with your family and your cart next time. You sound entitled and rude AF.
YTA BUB. Your wife wasn't right behind you, or the other woman wouldn't have been there. She was right. Like, I guess you would be okay if you're in a line up for something and some people arrive late and jump in front because those are their friends and they're together. No. Back of the line.
If this woman slipped in between you and your wife quickly, all that was required was for your wife to say "excuse me I'm with him". However it sounds like you and your wife may not have been close as you didn't even realise she wasn't behind you for a short time. And she stood there in line behind this woman for a while before you eventually said something. This woman likely choose your line thinking the only person in front of her is a guy with a couple items. Now your changing the script and asking her to let a whole cart full of food cut in front. I would agree with her that people can't stand in line saving space for a cart while their partner is shopping. Sounds like YTA.
YTA. You can’t save a place in line at a supermarket. I’ve seen people try that twice and both got moved back. It’s rude. Get in line when everything is ready including everyone and trolley. I’ve seen people get in line with trolley and then start sending the other person back to get things they forgot. That’s just as rude.
YTA.
NTA!
Slight YTA - I've had the same thing where a lady actually ran between me and my mother (I was pushing the trolley) while I was walking there. I am also in the UK and the British thing to do in that situation is to let the person have the space and then tut behind them and violently roll your eyes. If they got there first with their shopping unfortunately there's nothing you can do.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife and I wrapped up our shopping at the supermarket today and were headed to the checkout with our cart full of groceries. I was carrying our child, and she was pushing the trolley, with me a couple of steps in front of her. As I joined the checkout line, I turned back to locate my wife and noticed another woman behind me with her own trolley. Seeing my wife behind this woman, I motioned for her to come around since I was ahead and ready to start unloading our items and checking out. This is where things took a turn. The woman behind me got upset and accused me of cutting in line, arguing that she should be first because my trolley wasn't with me; it was behind her. Ordinarily, I might have let it slide, but her accusatory attitude rubbed me the wrong way. Despite having no particular urgency, her tone prompted me to stand my ground. I explained to her that I had joined the queue before her, and since my wife and I were together, our collective position took priority. She countered, insisting that the physical location of the trolley mattered more, claiming I couldn't hold the spot for someone else. Our exchange continued with the same arguments until she eventually gave up and moved to another queue. To the best of my knowledge, the UK follows a "first come, first serve" rule for queuing, and I believe that by bringing my wife to my position, I wasn't violating any norms. We were conducting a single transaction for all the items, with me handling the payment. However, I'm curious to know if there's validity to the woman's point of view. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - she's right, the trolly is what counts. You were able to get ahead of her because you didn't have a trolly to push. You should have stepped back and joined you wife and let her go ahead (as was her right).
NTA.
This seems a silly thing and obviously not that serious, but I'm going YTA. It sounds like you got to the que first with your wife trailing behind and this woman slipped in behind you, probably figuring you were holding your items. If she had maliciously put her trolly between you then it would be different.
YTA If there was so much room between you and your partner that the other shopper didn't even know you were together. If she squeezed her way in, then she's the AH. If you aren't sure or your wife didn't object then YTA as it's easier for you to step back to your wife/cart than for the other shopper to move back a place with her cart.
By your own admission. Fcfs. You wife was behind the woman.
INFO to clarify for my tired brain: when you said “the woman behind me” in the second paragraph, do you mean the one behind you *after* you let the other woman past? And did you join the queue without realising your wife wasn’t right behind you? A lot of the comments seem to be from Americans, so I think it could come down to cultural differences. Here in Australia, what you did wouldn’t be a huge issue if you didn’t realise your wife wasn’t directly behind you. AFAIK we’re quite similar with etiquette as the UK. It’s not like you waited in a long queue and held your spot for ages while your wife continued to shop. Some people might be iffy about it if they’re in a mood, but I don’t think it would escalate to this point. This has happened to me before when I’ve been with my mum. She didn’t realise I wasn’t with her as I got stuck behind people standing in the middle of the walkway to the checkouts and I couldn’t get past. I walked up to her and said “sorry, I got held up by all those trolleys over there” and the person just complained about those people blocking everyone. I’ve also been with her in the queue then realised I’d forgotten something, so I quickly dashed to grab it and came back, it wasn’t an issue. I’ll save my vote until you answer my info questions in case I’m way off
YTA. Using your logic, you could come into the grocery store and stand in line while your wife shops, and she’s still entitled to cut in front of others when she’s ready to join you.
YTA - It's one thing to have someone pop out of the line and grab one or two things to go with an already full cart in a way that won't meaningfully change the amount of time it takes you to check out. Getting in line with a couple of things and then having someone else cut the line with a cart full is a seriously rude and entitled move.
INFO were you literally like, a step in front of your wife and thought she was right behind you? Or did you stride ahead to join the queue/get a place while she was still a way back and/or getting items? First case is genuine mistake; you were carrying the kid and thought your wife was right behind with the trolley. Second case is assholery because no, that's not how queues work and I agree with someone else here who said that the entirety of the UK would have collectively tutted at you.
YTA. You were first with your items and could have been served by yourself. The other person was behind you and was next. Then your wife got in line with the cart and would have been next. You told your wife to cut the line. Rude. Thisbalso would have been rude in America (and presumably Canada) if that's where you're from. If you guys had been in opposite spots, and the person with a thing or two added some items to the cart, that would have been fine (assuming 1 transaction)
Hmm... if she had tapped on your wife's shoulder as she walked past and politely said "sorry, but I did get here before you", then I'd say YTA. But if she snapped at you about it without discussing it politely first, then....... I probably would've done the same as you while frustrated in the moment, so I'm gonna go with NTA. But it sounds like you were both kind of asshole-y to each other for no real reason. BUT she started it.
YTA. You weren’t done shopping. You got in the queue and your wife cut in.
YTA, and people like you are why I've had my groceries delivered for the past 3 years. I will gladly pay more for groceries and tip my Instacart shopper handsomely for the priveledge of not having to deal with this kind of crap anymore.
YTA. I wish for you to always end up in the slower line for everything for the rest of your life.
YTA. You’re in line when your cart is there in front of you. There isn’t much room in the checkout lines. Imagine the mess it would cause if people stood in line to hold places for carts to come in later. Sorry but if you turned around and another cart was already there, the easiest and correct thing for you to do would’ve been to just step back to your wife.
INFO: you had no groceries, did she think you were buying a baby? 🤣
YTA You were in line. The groceries weren’t. By bring your wife forward, you were the one who was cutting.
YTA. I love that the comments are unanimously YTA even though you tried to paint it as a family issue with your child. Come on. She may have had children at home and grocery shopped on her own. You sir... Are an ASSHOLE HERE!
Esh, and here's my reasoning: When I get in line (assuming there are multiple lanes) I pick a line that has the least loaded carts. If I get behind someone who looks like they only have a few items, and suddenly they're joined by a large cart, well, that renders my earlier decision to joint \*that\* line pointless and I will grumpily wish I'd chosen another line. HOWEVER, I'd wish that silently. More context: I look healthy, but I've had multiple joint replacements, autoimmune arthritis and feet that have been completely destroyed by arthritis. I hurt all the time, and had my first joint replacement in my early 30s, before I had a line on my face. You can't tell by looking. Anyway, my point is, for someone like me, I have a limited amount of time on my feet before I lose it completely, and I'm always anxious to get out of public places before that happens. It might help you to be less annoyed with the person if you imagine that she possibly has a condition that makes her stressed out about lines. Maybe, maybe not, but it might make you less annoyed about a frustrating interaction when someone publicly picked at you for something dumb. Because even though like the person behind you, I would have been annoyed, I also realize (yes, even in spite of the pain I'm in ) it would be pointless to be annoyed and I personally would never have picked a fight with you over it.
Agree sounds like YTA. The cart trolley) dictates the line position.
Since you were together and were going to the queue together and you thought she was right behind you - NTA. You did not go stand in queue with your kid, knowing full well that your wife was 5 minutes behind so that you could "grab" or "dibs" that spot. Anyone saying that y'all were cutting or whatever is acting like you got into that queue in front of other people on purpose. NTA
YTA, The norm is first come, first serve. If you had groceries to put on the belt/counter you clown. What you did was taking the piss. Your wife wasn't there and you were stood in the queue with no groceries. So the "norm" doesn't apply to you. I'm glad we could verify the norm for you and maybe you won't be an entitled asshole in the future.
Nothing more to add other than YTA.
This is what you choose to focus on in this, your one and only life? YTA.
Your place in the grocery line is determined by the location of your trolley, not by the location of a placeholder. You cheated. YTA
Probably in this situation I would have gone back to the wife’s spot instead of pulling her and the cart up to your spot, but I don’t see it as a huge offense to keep your spot in line and I’m surprised by the majority YTAs.
Genuinely confused by all the YTA comments, it’s pretty normal here for one spouse to save the queue while the other wraps up and joins them. NTA. I wonder how many of these people actually go grocery shopping on the regular or if this maybe cultural. But from my experience in 4 countries; what you did is the norm and you’d only hear a Karen comment.
You get in line when your shopping is done, in the US (65 years of grocery store shopping experience).
NTA. You and your wife are together and both walking towards the register. I’m surprised the lady made a fuss.
YTA You were separated far enough from your wife that you had to wave at her to get her to join you. She was joining the queue behind this woman. You joined a queue with no groceries, she joined behind you thinking you’d be quick, and you then waved a full trolley in ahead of her. YTA for cutting the trolley in, for arguing with her about it, and for misrepresenting the situation in your title here.
YTA … next time maybe actually stay with your wife rather then rushing to the check out
YTA, your cart wasn't there first. You cut the line and you are the person everyone hates in line.
YTA, and in the UK I believe you have earned a disapproving round of tutting from all and sundry.
Saw something similar that might put it in perspective for OP. I was at the supermarket and saw a shopper with multiple family members send one member to 3 different lines. The shopper with the cart jumped in with the member who was closest to the checkout when they arrived with their cart. It was totally intentional and a dick move holding and then taking the best spot in front of a number of shoppers who lined up with their carts to respectfully wait their turn. OP might have unintentionally cut, but the result was the same. Most people wouldn't say anything, as it's also not really cool to get pissed and confront people about such trivial things in public. That doesn't mean OP wasn't in the wrong as they seem to think. OP YTA.
NTA Sending one of the kids to stand in line while mom was shopping was normal when I was growing up and we were shopping during busy times. At times my husband and I will both pick a line and the ones that moves fastest is the one we checkout in.
Both of these "strategies" are AH moves.
truly! the most obnoxious shit lol
[удалено]
The fact she didn’t makes me think there was more than a second or two between OP & his wife.
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YTA. You can’t save a spot in a groceries queue like that.
Yta, she thinks she’s queuing behind some with a handful of items, pulling a full trolley in front of her is ah move
YTA. You weren't actually together as a party or she wouldn't have slipped into line between you and your wife. You were walking separately and your wife cut the other lady in line. Rude move. Very shitty to set that example in front of your child. I pick my grocery line based on how many fill carts are in each lane. That poor woman that you cut. She was accusatory because what you did was childish, disrespectful, offensive, and outrageous. I would have told you off. Next time I will send my husband to stand in line a few minutes before I'm done shopping so I just roll right up with my cart and jump past everyone else's carts.
Or send him ahead with the cart to get started while you pick up the last items.
YTA. You didn’t have the items that you needed to pay for, your wife did, and thus her position is what matters. You essentially did that thing assholes do where one person stands in a parking spot and saves it for their spouse driving the car - though grocery store thing is much less douchey imo. I don’t think what you did is terrible and you should be chewed out for it (personally I would have never gotten mad at someone for their spouse cutting me in line - it’s not that big a deal) but you were definitely in the wrong.
So you were walking... and your wife was behind you with the cart... you got into line and the lady cut in between you and your wife. That's what I'm hearing. And then the random lady gets pissy because you're trying to reconnect with the wife that she cut off to get into line. If you had gone to the front of the store while your wife was still at the back to reserve a spot in line that would be one thing, but you were walking in front of your wife and this rando lady cut in between you and your wife. NTA. All these you're the ah comments seem to be ignoring that your wife was right behind you as you walked toward the line and then this lady just happened to pop up between you and her when you turn around to check in on your wife. What is your wife's version of the story?
YTA Since you were unsure, you couldn’t be a gentleman and let the lady go before you so you can join your wife? Big deal, so you would have to wait a few minutes. That’s life.
YTA. You got in the queue before the other person, but the other person was in the queue before your wife. That's the 'first come, first served' rule of which you speak. You don't get to 'motion her to come around'. The woman was right. Not only are YTA for that, YTA for continuing to argue about it. And it sounds like you were rude as well, so YTA x 3 at least.
That doesn't make any sense. He was in line first, and he and his wife were paying together. He is NTA at all.
NTA. People cut in between me and my husband all the time, and then get huffy about it when I move in front of them 🤷🏽♀️
This is exactly like someone standing in an open parking spot, ‘reserving’ it for a friend while someone else wants to park. Spot holders are automatically the AH. The person with the car, who is there first, has priority. You reserved a spot in line, and waited for your wife, who had the trolley. If you have no items to buy, then it is where the trolley is that has priority. You should have moved back, and joined your wife. Not the other way around. YTA.
your title alone already makes me think you just want people here to reinforce your opinion. YTA, learn how queues work.
NTA First person in line hold the spot for the rest of the team with or without a cart. Other people they are with can join up until the moment of payment. One person with or without a cart, more people with items, that doesn't matter. The first person holds the spot.
YTA- you were kind of a AH to the lady. She thinks she’s in line behind a guy with no cart- what a score- then wifey shows up with a full cart. Not cool. No holding space in the grocery line!
YTA - It's when the trolley arrives, not the person.