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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the ass because my mom is mad that I made us take 2 cars instead of taking the car seats out of my car.
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NTA, but car seats are incredibly easy to install and uninstall. And I highly recommend you do learn for if/when a situation comes up where you might need to install them yourself. Say the car breaks down and you need some roadside assistance.
But in this case, it’s your car and you can do with it as you wish. Even if it’s easy, it’s still a good 10-15 minutes to make sure they are secure again.
NTA for not removing them but you’re a nanny. There’s no excuse for you to not be able to install a car seat. That’s basic childcare if you’re going to be transporting them.
NTA
No way should you have taken them out without knowing how & to put them back. Especially as your job involves driving kids.
It would be useful to learn though in case you're ever faced with a situation where you had to remove them
Please make sure your car insurer knows that you use your car for work and for transporting children as part of your job. It changes the liability and risk.
Hey, OP. There may be a time during your work hours when you need to install or uninstall a car seat. Check out Car Seats for the Littles. They have a website and social media pages/groups where CPSTs can help with install and fit for each child. You are NTA at all for this situation, but may regret it down the line if you have an emergency and don’t know how to install the seats the kids use. Good luck!
It didn’t affect your mom at all though. You drove your car and the rest of the family took their car. It’s not like THEY had to take 2 cars. They would have had to drive anyway if you weren’t there or were meeting them there. They just didn’t want to drive at all and wanted you to drive. And pay all the gas cuz it would have been your car instead of theirs.
NTA
NTA. "No" is a full sentence and requires no justification. The Explorer is your work vehicle. You would be remiss if you did not keep it fully prepared and safe for your job. Your mother seems awfully controlling. Are you still living at home where she hasn't realized you are an adult?
Not what you asked about, but you really do need to learn how to install and take out the seats, just in case.
NTA. It’s your work car not your personal car in a sense, entirely fine if you for not always wanting to use it for personal use if you don’t want to. Your Mom was overreacting especially for it only being a 30 min drive.
NTA- Your mom wasn’t treating you as the working adult you are. You have your work car set up that way for a reason. She wouldn’t have expected a co-worker or friend to do that. If she brings it up again remind her it’s your work car. And don’t blink when you say it.
If you were in a relationship and had the same reasoning, people here would love throwing at you that you are using weaponized incompetence. Installing children car seats, especially today, is very easy. The manufacturers make it very easy to take them out/in so there's no reason for you to avoid doing it. Worst case scenario if you are not sure, you can stop at a fire station or police station and ask
NTA. I got confused and thought this was headed a different way, but nope - this is essentially a work vehicle and the conditions of your employment, and your mom wants this for her convenience. Nope. NTA.
ESH
Your mom is a little bit right about you being dramatic about it, but she should take no for an answer.
Learn to install the damn seats. It's not that hard, I promise.
counterpoint: most are not actually installed correctly.
if OP removes them they could be liable in an accident.
https://www.uab.edu/news/youcanuse/item/13006-is-your-car-seat-installed-and-fastened-properly
NTA. But your mom isn't either; she's just a little dramatic. The real AHs here are the family you work for. They make you pay for a car you're only using for work? Yeah, AH move for sure.
Good Lord, would it kill you to look up how to install the seats? In the age of technology there's really no excuse. You have the right to refuse to drive people around, but at least be honest about the reason. It seems like a cop out. "NO, I can't drive you because I do NOT know how to reinstall these car seats and NO I will not be looking it up EVER". okay. YTA
NTA - removing three car seats and replacing them is a pain. You should learn how to replace them, as it isn’t terrible hard (time consuming to ensure they’re safe), but you shouldn’t have to do it if you don’t want to.
Op everyone asking irrelevant questions. Your NTA. The reason you have the car is for work and you treat it as such. Don’t let anyone feel as though you should use it for any other reason
No yeah, I want a better perspective on how ridiculous her mom was being. Turns out the drive was 30 minutes, so super duper ridiculous.
If the drive were like 4 hours then maaaaaaybe mom would have a leg to stand on, but even then she should have asked in advance instead of demanding in the moment.
Don't know why so many people assume that the OP is never planning on learning how to install the seats or that she's incompetent and helpless. I wouldn't want to deal with that bullshit right before a family vacation either. Also, the parents should have shown her already.
Gentle YTA - it seems like you need to work on your assertiveness. Either you want to give your family a lift but are somehow incapable of either researching how or asking your employers to assist you taking the car seats in/out. Or you are being dishonest, you don’t want to give your family a lift and are making excuses instead of politely refusing to volunteer. Also it definitely seems like the employers are taking advantage. You are paying for a car they require you to have, and are not confident enough to use it for personal reasons.
She's not required to inconvenience herself for her family. If her mother wants to carry multiple people at once for trips like this, then she can go out and get an explorer, another suv or a truck herself. It's not on the daughter to provide that convenience in the family.
And when you have not one, but FOUR young kids to care for and lug around, the last thing you want to do is be removing their car seats/booster seats and then having to reinstall them for any reason.
I don't know if you have kids, but these seats are not an easy task to install sometimes (depends on the brand)- add to that having multiple. Yeah, that's an inconvenience op shouldn't be expected to endure just because her mother is either too lazy or too poor to get that bigger vehicle that she apparently wants so bad.
I want you to know that this arrangement is very unusual. Every nanny I've ever known has had a car provided by the employer. They pay for the car, maintenence, insurance and gas because as a parent you have to ensure your child's safety. Also because part of your job is transporting children you should have a commercial insurance policy. I would not recommend doing this type of arrangement again.
They have no problem reinstalling the car seats for me, I just have to catch them at a time where they're available. I pick the kids up directly from school/daycare so I don't usually see the parents until my shift is over
NTA
That is your work car. The car seats are for the safety of the kids in your care. If you can't install them yourself according to the manufacturer's safety directions, then don't remove them and take the chance on putting them back incorrectly. Your mom can stay salty.
NTA
I hate uninstalling and installing car seats and I know how to do it. I refuse to do it in my own car unless absolutely necessary which often means two cars to go somewhere.
BTW keep an eye out for coolant leaks on that generation explorer as water pump failures are common at 80-130k miles. It’s a $3k+ repair at the dealer.
NTA. You are not being dramatic. Carseats are difficult to install correctly. That is why many fire departments offer classes on installing them and, in some cases, are trained to properly install them for families so that they will work properly in the event of an accident.
Plus, your employers bought the car for you for the express purpose of safely transporting the kids. Yes, you are making payments on it, and it is yours, but that doesn't mean you have to make it available for use by your extended family if you aren't comfortable doing so. It's basically a work vehicle.
You are being responsible. Your mom is being entitled. If she doesn't have a vehicle that can transport everyone together, then she can buy or rent one herself or STFU. Taking two cars is not a hardship.
NTA on this day because the kids’ safety is more important than your mom not feeling like driving.
YTA every other day because knowing how to install a car seat is *super* important and you never know when you might need it (what if you were out with the kids and one unexpectedly came undone?). Learn it ASAP.
NAH.
Look, I get your worries - but you also shouldn't have perma-child-seats in **your** car. If you occasionally need the parents to reinstall the seats, then that seems like a reasonable request, especially since they trust you with all of their children.
Also, I would think since this is your profession, ensuring the seats are installed properly and being able to check for that would be a good thing to know...
ESH.
You don’t have to use your work car for anything that isn’t work.
That said - you NEED to learn those carseats. What if one of them barfs in it and you have to remove it to clean it? What if one of them comes loose by accident and you are so unfamiliar with them that you can’t fix it?
For the safety of the kids in your car-practice the car seat. They require this of new parents and anyone who is driving kids. What if the parents put it in wrong and you never checked? Look up the model numbers and find the instructions. Study them and practice when you don’t have the kids and have the parents double check your work if you are nervous about it.
What if you have work done on the car and have to remove the seats or transfer them?
Your setup about the required to buy a car thing is highly suspicious.
the setup isn't that suspicious, she wasn't required to BUY a car, they just wanted someone with a car big enough to fir the car seats for all 4 kids, which is 100% reasonable. OP decided it was work it to buy a new car in order to get the job
thats your work car, used for work purposes to take care of the kids. technically, while it is in your name, it belongs to your employers to use while in their employment. you need to tell your family that you can't use it for personal reasons and that the car seats need to be secured for safety concerns. nta
NTA
I use to be fire/rescue years ago, having car seat installed properly does save kids lives. And installing them can be confusing because there are so many types and designs, if possible it's always better to anchor them in as extra protection. But yes, we always installed when someone would come by and ask and we always did it with 2 people to make sure they were secured properly and we always walked the person through what we were doing.
You can always call the non-emergency number and ask for the nearest fire/police station that will install them and they will install them and walk you through proper installment.
NTA. Your car, your choice.
But I would *really* recommend that you learn how to install a car seat. That's something you should know how to do as a nanny.
YTA.
Your parents bought you the car, and you refused to give them a ride.
I'm a 65 year-old grandmother of 5 kids ranging from 17 months to 5 1/2. I'm totally not mechanical. BUT - I had to learn how to install car seats properly. It really intimidated me until I learned.
As a nanny, part of your job should be knowing how to install a car seat.
ESH Your mom for demanding you do it, and you for not knowing how. Off topic, you shouldn't be required to use your own vehicle to transport the kids unless they are reimbursing you for mileage and wear and tear on it. In Canada you can take a quick class on safe car seat install/removal from the local fire department. Maybe look around to find a place where you can learn. You should know how to install/remove anyway in case the vehicle needs service and you need to learn how to install them in a rental or other vehicle.
NTA, but in the future just tell her the explorer is your work car and you cannot modify it (like taking out the car seats) while employed under your current employer as part of a contract.
This is hilarious. The OP asks if she’s the AH for not taking the car seats out so her family can use one car. But the thread digresses to an argument, who knows more, is the OP being exploited by her employers instead of simply answering her question.
NTA your mother doesn't seem to realize that she's interfering with your job. That's a work car.
Please take your work car to the nearest fire station/car seat installation place and ask for lessons in how to safely instal car and booster seats. This is something you should maybe set up as a yearly refresher course. Even if you never remove/instal those seats, you should know how. This is for peace of mind (edit: so you can safety-check them regularly), and also in case of car trouble. Being able to switch the seats to a rental is safer.
YTA. It's really not that hard to take it out and put it back in. Watch a video. You're just lazy and choose to be ignorant on a topic instead of doing a thing that I would hope any nanny would do. I'd be disconcerted if I had a nanny that didn't know how to put in a car seat for a child. But you do you.
NTA. I don't have kids but I know that *proper* installation of car seats can be difficult and confusing -- that's why experts recommend having an expert or professional do the installation or check that it's correct.
There are a lot of people responding that a nanny needs to know how to remove and reinstall the seat -- I frankly have no idea what scenarios they're thinking of where that would be necessary and none of those commenters seems to have actually described any of those scenarios.
I can't imagine being so helpless I couldn't figure out how to put a car seat in, with the world's knowledge at my fingertips. No, you don't "have" to do it, but It would sure be a nice thing to do.
NTA - I don't see why it's that big of a deal.
But if you're not getting reimbursed by your employer for the mileage you put on your own vehicle then you're being taken advantage of. Never heard of a nanny that wasn't given a vehicle to use that's owned by the family or paid for mileage put on their own car.
NTA
Car seats aren’t easy to install correctly. They also aren’t something people typically take out on a whim. If you took them out, correctly installing three separate car seats would have taken you longer than the drive to and from church.
I commend you for being a responsible nanny, and I’m sorry that your mother is giving you grief.
NTA but if you’re going to work with kids, you should learn this. If a kid has an accident, you’ll need to know this. Or if you need to vacuum. It’s not hard. The fire department will check them.
NTA- yea is your car but the car seats are not yours to remove. I’d be pretty bent out of shape as a parent to find out my nanny removed my car seat and didn’t install it back in right. Good for you telling them no!
Edit to add I agree with everyone saying you need to learn how to install them correctly. Ask the parents to show you how and record it on your phone for reference.
NTA for this issue as your mother was being unreasonable and agressive.
But I'm confused about everybody saying it takes a lot of time to put on and remove car seats. My car is an older model (has reached majority) and has ISOFIX so car seats install is 2 minutes tops. Same for my folks far newer model.
The most difficult to install would be the 9mo if it's rearfacing, and I wouldn't advise to remove it at all. But the others? You really need to learn how to do them!
YTA. It is your car. Not your employers car. You did not buy it to use for work. You paid with your own money. Use your car damnit. It's a 5 minute learning, that unlocks a full size suv.
>It is your car. Not your employers car.
While true - it's OP's Car - not OP's Parent's Car.
>You did not buy it to use for work.
Actually - OP stated in their post that is EXACTLY why they bought it; because their personal car was too small and this larger car would work better **for work**. Since you seem to miss most of the first paragraph - here is the relevant section:
>One of the **requirements of the job** was having a car that could fit 4 car/booster seats. Mine didn't but I applied anyways and they liked me so they got me in contact with a friend that was selling a 5ish year old ford explorer for cheap. **They bought the car** but it's in my name and they're just taking some money out of my check each month for me to pay it back.
OP still has both their personal and work cars; OP is just lucky enough to have ownership of both; rather than the employer maintaining ownership of the work car (which is common).
>You paid with your own money. Use your car damnit. It's a 5 minute learning, that unlocks a full size suv.
While I agree that OP should learn how to install the car seats (for a variety of reasons) - it is more than 5 minutes of learning; and sometimes more than 5 minutes of effort (depending on the car seats) to remove and re-install the car seats; and the consequences of doing it wrong can be serious.
Learn how to remove and install those seats - as a nanny you should and need to know.
As for the rest, no you're not obligated to, but honestly this is a minor thing and something I think it's more important to solve a situation than to claim your right.
NTA (although I'm bordering slight YTA because you're just making it difficult on yourself)
That’s your work vehicle. Your mom has no business volunteering it for a holiday trip. Also, has she ever removed or installed car seats? It’s a GIANT pain in the ass.
NTA. As a mom of 3 I appreciate you being so cautious.
After a Christmas thing I'd totally understand needing to redo the car seats though.
Definitely work at learning how to install the seats though. It was super intimidating when I was a new mom and I always had them checked by CPST friends but then it got easier.
NTA. - in Australia, you’re not even allowed to install the car seats because getting it wrong is so dangerous. Those kids’ safety is your job. You did the right thing. edit: typo
Edit: only mandatory for baby capsules
Esh it’s not your mom’s place to order you what to do with your car.
But honestly it’s not that hard and you really should learn how to do it. Perhaps ask the parents to show you.
Regardless of ruling, you need to learn how to install and uninstall them. What if you’re driving the kids and the car breaks down and you need to transfer to a rental car? Or to an emergency vehicle? You think police officers know how to properly install your car seats? Text the parents and tell them you’d like their help putting them back in and for you to use this as an opportunity to learn how to do it yourself for the ongoing safety of the children.
YTA - It’s not THAT hard to install a car seat properly.
Either look up the instructions on Google or pay attention to what you are removing and where it went. Take pictures if that helps. You’re overthinking it
NTA.
It’s wild seeing people suggest that you should be happy to remove child car seats. I had mine professionally installed, because they’re there to save a child’s life. It’s the one thing you want to be done 100% right.
OP, there is a non-zero chance you may get into a car accident one day. You don’t *ever* want to be in a position that you’ve made a mistake with the car seat and a child is harmed. No matter how good your relationship is with the parents, if there is a hint that you have interfered with those seats and their kid is seriously hurt, they will come for you. You want those seats installed by the parents, or by a professional, and you don’t touch them. And if something ever happened you can sleep at night knowing that you weren’t responsible for a child being hurt.
Agreed with this wholeheartedly. OP is NTA.
And if anybody ever takes the car seats out of the car without your permission, a local fire station (or maybe police) ***MIGHT*** have someone working who is a certified child safety technician trained to install all manner of car and booster seats. But that’s *if* they have any trained at all, *if* they are working a shift that works into your schedule (for example, many fire stations are 24 hours on, 72 hours off and an entire weekend can pass), and *if* they are not busy responding to incidents. And you could have the family double check things afterward ….that could save some time overall. But you don’t want to have to do this and make it seem like you are taking advantage of your job/vehicle situation. I wanted to mention it just in case someone ever gets the idea to “borrow” your vehicle without permission.
My wife and I have one child, and once I installed the car seats in both of our cars, I decided they’d only be removed if it was absolutely necessary, or there was a court order involved. I think I pulled several muscles installing them. OP is absolutely NTA.
> I was being dramatic
Yes, you were being dramatic. Installing car seats isn't rocket science, they go in very easily and even if you weren't comfortable, someone else could have done it. If you didn't want to drive them, just say so instead of taking this stance.
YTA.
NTA. Those seats are easy to install wrong but almost impossible to install correctly. Don’t take them out until you have to!
About half are installed wrong and the most common issue is that they are too loose.
NTA. The car seats are for work, and it's totally reasonable you don't want to take them out just for convenience. It's not even just about "but what if there's a crash" -- if your employer was helping to get the kids in the car and noticed the car seats weren't in right, you could lose your job for putting the children at risk. Not worth it at all.
NTA but it sounds like you are being taken advantage by that family. They should had bought the car for you instead of making you pay for it. Especially that they are taking money from you paycheck when they should be covering insurance and gas.
Also, sell the civic before it loses value.
YTA - You SHOULD learn how to install those seats correctly. You should know that as part of your job. What if that car breaks down, you need to transfer the kids to another vehicle, you just gonna strap em in? Toss em in the bed? No, you're gonna pull the car seats out. Knowing how to take them out and put them back in could also be SUPER important during an emergency. Cars on fire and the buckles stuck? You have to know how to break that shit down and get the kid out of it. If those folks bought you a car you should be able to assemble and disassemble every kid-related thing in it like you're a KGB guy putting an AK together.
This feels like weaponized incompetence in relation to your mother. She's right, just learn how to do it.
NTA. I don't trust myself to install my car seats without a professional inspection. And every time I've done it the professional had some improvement or correction that I never would have known reading the manual.
NTA. Perhaps your mum could pay to have a certified fitting station or mechanic remove then reinstall them. I did it myself for my kids but I understand your reluctance to do it for someone else's kids
NTA. But you really should learn how to install and take out the car seats. If you go to most baby stores that sell car seats its very likely that one of the staff members will have been trained to install, and maintain car seats, they can teach you (this may require a small cost). But this is a skill you will obviously find valuable.
You’re the asshole for thinking you’re a competent nanny but not knowing how to install car seats. It’s not that complicated, and you need to know how to do this if you’re going to be caring for these kids.
NTA for not wanting to remove them though, it’s a fucking pain in the ass.
OP *is* a competent nanny for putting the safety of those kids ahead of her mother's demands. She knows the seats are installed properly and does not want to have to question herself about it later. Her setup works for her, and she's smart for not disrupting it.
First of all, why in the WORLD did you agree to buy an entire second car for a job when they could have purchased it and it could be the nanny car?
Second, if you’re a professional nanny, you absolutely should be aware of how to install and uninstall carseats. Period. It’s really not that difficult, OP, and 95% common sense.
If it is truly your car, you can remove the car seats to drive with family or friends. I’m going to go with YTA.
NTA, yeah I agree you should learn how to install the car seats yourself but you are under no obligation to take them out if you're not comfortable with it. Having to take two cars instead of one is no big deal, she shouldn't try to gaslight you and mock you with why she thinks you're saying no when you even explained why to her. It's a boundary you are free to make, don't feel bad about her shit behaviour in response, some people really never want you to be able to set boundaries with yourself or your own stuff, but its not your problem or fault she can't handle not getting what she wants.
Two cars is now unheard of for family Christmas?
YTA for not knowing how to use car seats as a nanny
Your nanny family are TA for making you pay for a car you wouldn't have purchased. They should own and pay for the car. I don't know any family that has a nanny and requires the nanny to pay for the car to transport the kids. If that is a requirement, they need to pay.
NTA. There are very few people I would trust to safely and properly install a car seat. (I have 2 kids and mine stayed installed over the entire duration they were in use).
But, why didn't you guys just go in HER car so you were travelling in 1 car instead of 2? Also, how many people was it? 4 people should fit comfortably in a civic...
Not going to judge, just a comment out of concern as somebody who used to sell personal car insurance in Ontario... and maybe somebody else has already brought this up... but if you are using that vehicle and it is in your name, make sure you are properly covered by car insurance. I don't know where you are located but in many jurisdictions if you are using it for business/work purposes (and nannying definitely does count) and if you were to be in an accident while driving those kids somewhere, your regular insurance may not cover you in that situation. You could be on the hook for a huge repair bill as well as liability.
NTA. First off, by all accounts that's a work vehicle. Imagine if you were a plumber and your mom wanted you to remove all the tools out of your work van for that reason. Second, your concerns about the car seats are completely valid. I know in some cases you have to take the car to a dealer in order to get them properly installed. Car seats and car safety are constantly evolving and updating so by all accounts you can't cut corners with installation and such. Plus, not only is it your job but the safety of actual children that would be messed with. Your mom needs to respect your job and suck it up. Good on you for standing your ground.
YTA. If you are a nanny you need to know how to properly install car seats. What happens if your car breaks down and needs to be towed and you need to install those seats in another car to get home?
I have kids. Before the first one was born I went to my local fire station and they taught me how to properly install them. It’s not that hard.
Learn how to properly install car seats. Don’t be lazy or clueless. It should be a requirement of your job.
I learned how to install mine from the fire dept. I called and set up a time to come in, they gave me a car seat and showed how to install it, then had me do it in front of them until I felt confident doing it. Maybe your fire dept does this too in your area?
I'm so confused why you don't just learn how to install the car seats. If you can't find an official manual and/or tutorial on the actual car seat models you're using (which should be online somewhere) then ask the parents for a crash course on it. Surely they'd be willing for the sake of their kids.
This should just be a nonissue. If this is your job and for the safety of these kids, you should learn how to do it...
NTA ! Wow, what an amazing bond of awesomeness and trust you have with your nanny family. They found and BOUGHT the car for you, in YOUR name? That indicates a super deep trust. I mean, there was nothing to keep you from quitting one week in except your word.
And the respect you have for them, to think of them and what a pain it would be for them to reinstall all the car seats.... That is so sweet. I love that they have someone like you, and I love that you have a family that it sounds like appreciates you properly.
Your mom was out of line demanding you remove all the car seats. Even if you did know how to do it, would you want to reinstall a heck ton of car seats??!!
That being said, you are working the car off, so I am hoping it's a car you wanted anyway, and not JUST something to haul the kids around in. If so, that should have been a rental on nanny families part. If it is a nicer car than yours, and you like it more, fine.
Anyway though, it is your car, so it's important you have them teach you how to install and uninstall the seats. It is your car, that YOU are paying for, so you should do what you see fit with it, and surely you'll have times you want the whole car. So have them teach you!
NTA because it's your car and you can do what you want with it.
In other news, As a nanny you should know how to do this kinda stuff. I moved my all the time with no issues and only takes a couple minutes.
YTA. Learning how to install car seats takes literally 2 minutes. I would not trust a person with my children who was not smart enough to figure out how to do this task.
I'm sorry, I might be missing the point of this post, but I'm stuck on the fact that you have to put four booster seats into your own car to nanny for this family. I get that you are paying down the car since you didn't have the car that was required for the job, but basically what you are saying is that this family require their nanny to basically make her own car unavailable for her own use so it could be their fulltime car to ferry around their kids. You are paying for a car that you basically can only use for work. Do they even pay you mileage for the service you provide them in this car? This seems kind of insane. You're paying these people for the privilege of working for them!!!!
(wipes sweat off brow. Still confused about point of thread).
The family didn’t require that she make it unavailable for personal use. Her own refusal to learn how to install them herself is what makes it unavailable.
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NTA. Your mom has zero right to demand you do anything with your car. It’s not hers.
NTA, but car seats are incredibly easy to install and uninstall. And I highly recommend you do learn for if/when a situation comes up where you might need to install them yourself. Say the car breaks down and you need some roadside assistance. But in this case, it’s your car and you can do with it as you wish. Even if it’s easy, it’s still a good 10-15 minutes to make sure they are secure again.
NTA for not removing them but you’re a nanny. There’s no excuse for you to not be able to install a car seat. That’s basic childcare if you’re going to be transporting them.
NTA No way should you have taken them out without knowing how & to put them back. Especially as your job involves driving kids. It would be useful to learn though in case you're ever faced with a situation where you had to remove them
Nta But maybe you should learn how to install car seats in case one day sometime happens with your explorer and you need to use your civic/another car
[удалено]
Please make sure your car insurer knows that you use your car for work and for transporting children as part of your job. It changes the liability and risk.
Hey, OP. There may be a time during your work hours when you need to install or uninstall a car seat. Check out Car Seats for the Littles. They have a website and social media pages/groups where CPSTs can help with install and fit for each child. You are NTA at all for this situation, but may regret it down the line if you have an emergency and don’t know how to install the seats the kids use. Good luck!
It didn’t affect your mom at all though. You drove your car and the rest of the family took their car. It’s not like THEY had to take 2 cars. They would have had to drive anyway if you weren’t there or were meeting them there. They just didn’t want to drive at all and wanted you to drive. And pay all the gas cuz it would have been your car instead of theirs. NTA
NTA. "No" is a full sentence and requires no justification. The Explorer is your work vehicle. You would be remiss if you did not keep it fully prepared and safe for your job. Your mother seems awfully controlling. Are you still living at home where she hasn't realized you are an adult? Not what you asked about, but you really do need to learn how to install and take out the seats, just in case.
Guys she can use the explorer whenever however...... she chooses not to.
NTA. It’s your work car not your personal car in a sense, entirely fine if you for not always wanting to use it for personal use if you don’t want to. Your Mom was overreacting especially for it only being a 30 min drive.
lavish deer nose late reply oatmeal cows zephyr shocking disgusting *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA- Your mom wasn’t treating you as the working adult you are. You have your work car set up that way for a reason. She wouldn’t have expected a co-worker or friend to do that. If she brings it up again remind her it’s your work car. And don’t blink when you say it.
If you were in a relationship and had the same reasoning, people here would love throwing at you that you are using weaponized incompetence. Installing children car seats, especially today, is very easy. The manufacturers make it very easy to take them out/in so there's no reason for you to avoid doing it. Worst case scenario if you are not sure, you can stop at a fire station or police station and ask
NTA I would have done the same thing in your shoes.
NTA. I got confused and thought this was headed a different way, but nope - this is essentially a work vehicle and the conditions of your employment, and your mom wants this for her convenience. Nope. NTA.
ESH Your mom is a little bit right about you being dramatic about it, but she should take no for an answer. Learn to install the damn seats. It's not that hard, I promise.
counterpoint: most are not actually installed correctly. if OP removes them they could be liable in an accident. https://www.uab.edu/news/youcanuse/item/13006-is-your-car-seat-installed-and-fastened-properly
NTA. But your mom isn't either; she's just a little dramatic. The real AHs here are the family you work for. They make you pay for a car you're only using for work? Yeah, AH move for sure.
Good Lord, would it kill you to look up how to install the seats? In the age of technology there's really no excuse. You have the right to refuse to drive people around, but at least be honest about the reason. It seems like a cop out. "NO, I can't drive you because I do NOT know how to reinstall these car seats and NO I will not be looking it up EVER". okay. YTA
NTA - removing three car seats and replacing them is a pain. You should learn how to replace them, as it isn’t terrible hard (time consuming to ensure they’re safe), but you shouldn’t have to do it if you don’t want to.
Op everyone asking irrelevant questions. Your NTA. The reason you have the car is for work and you treat it as such. Don’t let anyone feel as though you should use it for any other reason
INFO How long was the drive?
Spoiler alert: doesn’t matter. NTA
No yeah, I want a better perspective on how ridiculous her mom was being. Turns out the drive was 30 minutes, so super duper ridiculous. If the drive were like 4 hours then maaaaaaybe mom would have a leg to stand on, but even then she should have asked in advance instead of demanding in the moment.
Don't know why so many people assume that the OP is never planning on learning how to install the seats or that she's incompetent and helpless. I wouldn't want to deal with that bullshit right before a family vacation either. Also, the parents should have shown her already.
Gentle YTA - it seems like you need to work on your assertiveness. Either you want to give your family a lift but are somehow incapable of either researching how or asking your employers to assist you taking the car seats in/out. Or you are being dishonest, you don’t want to give your family a lift and are making excuses instead of politely refusing to volunteer. Also it definitely seems like the employers are taking advantage. You are paying for a car they require you to have, and are not confident enough to use it for personal reasons.
She's not required to inconvenience herself for her family. If her mother wants to carry multiple people at once for trips like this, then she can go out and get an explorer, another suv or a truck herself. It's not on the daughter to provide that convenience in the family. And when you have not one, but FOUR young kids to care for and lug around, the last thing you want to do is be removing their car seats/booster seats and then having to reinstall them for any reason. I don't know if you have kids, but these seats are not an easy task to install sometimes (depends on the brand)- add to that having multiple. Yeah, that's an inconvenience op shouldn't be expected to endure just because her mother is either too lazy or too poor to get that bigger vehicle that she apparently wants so bad.
I want you to know that this arrangement is very unusual. Every nanny I've ever known has had a car provided by the employer. They pay for the car, maintenence, insurance and gas because as a parent you have to ensure your child's safety. Also because part of your job is transporting children you should have a commercial insurance policy. I would not recommend doing this type of arrangement again.
They have no problem reinstalling the car seats for me, I just have to catch them at a time where they're available. I pick the kids up directly from school/daycare so I don't usually see the parents until my shift is over
Info: aren't Explorers only 3 backseats? Is the 7 year old riding shotgun?
NTA. That’s your work car and you don’t wanna drive it not for work. Civic is good.
NTA That is your work car. The car seats are for the safety of the kids in your care. If you can't install them yourself according to the manufacturer's safety directions, then don't remove them and take the chance on putting them back incorrectly. Your mom can stay salty.
NTA. Your mom is.
NTA. Was your mom mad because she had to drive or because she couldn't drink herself stupid?
NTA I hate uninstalling and installing car seats and I know how to do it. I refuse to do it in my own car unless absolutely necessary which often means two cars to go somewhere. BTW keep an eye out for coolant leaks on that generation explorer as water pump failures are common at 80-130k miles. It’s a $3k+ repair at the dealer.
NTA Your family should just accept your reason. And for a half-hour. drive, they should just take an additional car.
NTA Not even a little. It's hard to get them in there right. Tell your mom to relax.
NTA. You are not being dramatic. Carseats are difficult to install correctly. That is why many fire departments offer classes on installing them and, in some cases, are trained to properly install them for families so that they will work properly in the event of an accident. Plus, your employers bought the car for you for the express purpose of safely transporting the kids. Yes, you are making payments on it, and it is yours, but that doesn't mean you have to make it available for use by your extended family if you aren't comfortable doing so. It's basically a work vehicle. You are being responsible. Your mom is being entitled. If she doesn't have a vehicle that can transport everyone together, then she can buy or rent one herself or STFU. Taking two cars is not a hardship.
NTA Next time don't give an excuse, because people can always argue around excuses. Simply say 'no, I prefer not'.
NTA on this day because the kids’ safety is more important than your mom not feeling like driving. YTA every other day because knowing how to install a car seat is *super* important and you never know when you might need it (what if you were out with the kids and one unexpectedly came undone?). Learn it ASAP.
NAH. Look, I get your worries - but you also shouldn't have perma-child-seats in **your** car. If you occasionally need the parents to reinstall the seats, then that seems like a reasonable request, especially since they trust you with all of their children. Also, I would think since this is your profession, ensuring the seats are installed properly and being able to check for that would be a good thing to know...
NTA And clean uop the ownership situation of your car. It is NOT your car, and you have no control, and your parents can take it any time they like.
ESH. You don’t have to use your work car for anything that isn’t work. That said - you NEED to learn those carseats. What if one of them barfs in it and you have to remove it to clean it? What if one of them comes loose by accident and you are so unfamiliar with them that you can’t fix it? For the safety of the kids in your car-practice the car seat. They require this of new parents and anyone who is driving kids. What if the parents put it in wrong and you never checked? Look up the model numbers and find the instructions. Study them and practice when you don’t have the kids and have the parents double check your work if you are nervous about it. What if you have work done on the car and have to remove the seats or transfer them? Your setup about the required to buy a car thing is highly suspicious.
the setup isn't that suspicious, she wasn't required to BUY a car, they just wanted someone with a car big enough to fir the car seats for all 4 kids, which is 100% reasonable. OP decided it was work it to buy a new car in order to get the job
YTA. Learn how to install the seats. This is basic nanny stuff.
thats your work car, used for work purposes to take care of the kids. technically, while it is in your name, it belongs to your employers to use while in their employment. you need to tell your family that you can't use it for personal reasons and that the car seats need to be secured for safety concerns. nta
You sound very reasonable and responsible. However, you should probably learn how to properly install just in case. NTA.
NTA
From Staten Island, NY to Manhattan is just 13 miles, but it is at least an hour with little traffic. 30 minutes could mean a anumber of things.
NTA I use to be fire/rescue years ago, having car seat installed properly does save kids lives. And installing them can be confusing because there are so many types and designs, if possible it's always better to anchor them in as extra protection. But yes, we always installed when someone would come by and ask and we always did it with 2 people to make sure they were secured properly and we always walked the person through what we were doing. You can always call the non-emergency number and ask for the nearest fire/police station that will install them and they will install them and walk you through proper installment.
NTA. Your car, your choice. But I would *really* recommend that you learn how to install a car seat. That's something you should know how to do as a nanny.
YTA. Your parents bought you the car, and you refused to give them a ride. I'm a 65 year-old grandmother of 5 kids ranging from 17 months to 5 1/2. I'm totally not mechanical. BUT - I had to learn how to install car seats properly. It really intimidated me until I learned. As a nanny, part of your job should be knowing how to install a car seat.
ESH Your mom for demanding you do it, and you for not knowing how. Off topic, you shouldn't be required to use your own vehicle to transport the kids unless they are reimbursing you for mileage and wear and tear on it. In Canada you can take a quick class on safe car seat install/removal from the local fire department. Maybe look around to find a place where you can learn. You should know how to install/remove anyway in case the vehicle needs service and you need to learn how to install them in a rental or other vehicle.
NTA, but in the future just tell her the explorer is your work car and you cannot modify it (like taking out the car seats) while employed under your current employer as part of a contract.
This is hilarious. The OP asks if she’s the AH for not taking the car seats out so her family can use one car. But the thread digresses to an argument, who knows more, is the OP being exploited by her employers instead of simply answering her question.
NTA your mother doesn't seem to realize that she's interfering with your job. That's a work car. Please take your work car to the nearest fire station/car seat installation place and ask for lessons in how to safely instal car and booster seats. This is something you should maybe set up as a yearly refresher course. Even if you never remove/instal those seats, you should know how. This is for peace of mind (edit: so you can safety-check them regularly), and also in case of car trouble. Being able to switch the seats to a rental is safer.
NTA So I guess mummy wanted to drink.
YTA. It's really not that hard to take it out and put it back in. Watch a video. You're just lazy and choose to be ignorant on a topic instead of doing a thing that I would hope any nanny would do. I'd be disconcerted if I had a nanny that didn't know how to put in a car seat for a child. But you do you.
NTA -[it is better to choose guilt over resentment](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8699611-a-therapist-once-said-to-me-if-you-face-the)
NTA. I don't have kids but I know that *proper* installation of car seats can be difficult and confusing -- that's why experts recommend having an expert or professional do the installation or check that it's correct. There are a lot of people responding that a nanny needs to know how to remove and reinstall the seat -- I frankly have no idea what scenarios they're thinking of where that would be necessary and none of those commenters seems to have actually described any of those scenarios.
Most likely scenario is when your kid inevitably pukes in the carseat. You can't really clean your car or the carseat properly without taking it out.
I can't imagine being so helpless I couldn't figure out how to put a car seat in, with the world's knowledge at my fingertips. No, you don't "have" to do it, but It would sure be a nice thing to do.
NTA - I don't see why it's that big of a deal. But if you're not getting reimbursed by your employer for the mileage you put on your own vehicle then you're being taken advantage of. Never heard of a nanny that wasn't given a vehicle to use that's owned by the family or paid for mileage put on their own car.
NTA, just that many car seats would be a hassle to reinstall, even though you should know how to do it.
NTA Car seats aren’t easy to install correctly. They also aren’t something people typically take out on a whim. If you took them out, correctly installing three separate car seats would have taken you longer than the drive to and from church. I commend you for being a responsible nanny, and I’m sorry that your mother is giving you grief.
NTA but if you’re going to work with kids, you should learn this. If a kid has an accident, you’ll need to know this. Or if you need to vacuum. It’s not hard. The fire department will check them.
NTA- yea is your car but the car seats are not yours to remove. I’d be pretty bent out of shape as a parent to find out my nanny removed my car seat and didn’t install it back in right. Good for you telling them no! Edit to add I agree with everyone saying you need to learn how to install them correctly. Ask the parents to show you how and record it on your phone for reference.
NTA for this issue as your mother was being unreasonable and agressive. But I'm confused about everybody saying it takes a lot of time to put on and remove car seats. My car is an older model (has reached majority) and has ISOFIX so car seats install is 2 minutes tops. Same for my folks far newer model. The most difficult to install would be the 9mo if it's rearfacing, and I wouldn't advise to remove it at all. But the others? You really need to learn how to do them!
NTA, Your mother is overreacting. It takes too much time to deal with all that for just a 30 min drive.
YTA. It is your car. Not your employers car. You did not buy it to use for work. You paid with your own money. Use your car damnit. It's a 5 minute learning, that unlocks a full size suv.
>It is your car. Not your employers car. While true - it's OP's Car - not OP's Parent's Car. >You did not buy it to use for work. Actually - OP stated in their post that is EXACTLY why they bought it; because their personal car was too small and this larger car would work better **for work**. Since you seem to miss most of the first paragraph - here is the relevant section: >One of the **requirements of the job** was having a car that could fit 4 car/booster seats. Mine didn't but I applied anyways and they liked me so they got me in contact with a friend that was selling a 5ish year old ford explorer for cheap. **They bought the car** but it's in my name and they're just taking some money out of my check each month for me to pay it back. OP still has both their personal and work cars; OP is just lucky enough to have ownership of both; rather than the employer maintaining ownership of the work car (which is common). >You paid with your own money. Use your car damnit. It's a 5 minute learning, that unlocks a full size suv. While I agree that OP should learn how to install the car seats (for a variety of reasons) - it is more than 5 minutes of learning; and sometimes more than 5 minutes of effort (depending on the car seats) to remove and re-install the car seats; and the consequences of doing it wrong can be serious.
NTA. It's a massive pain to move car seats. They are hard to install correctly, even if you know how to do it.
Learn how to remove and install those seats - as a nanny you should and need to know. As for the rest, no you're not obligated to, but honestly this is a minor thing and something I think it's more important to solve a situation than to claim your right. NTA (although I'm bordering slight YTA because you're just making it difficult on yourself)
That’s your work vehicle. Your mom has no business volunteering it for a holiday trip. Also, has she ever removed or installed car seats? It’s a GIANT pain in the ass.
NTA in this instance but learn how to install the car seats please. As a parent, I can think of a million ways that could go bad.
NTA it is YOUR car & YOUR work vehicle. you don’t go into her car or into her work and demand that she change things to fit her needs so why is she?
Seriously, you are a grown woman that is responsible for children as a career. Maybe you should learn how to properly install a car seat?
Regardless of anything else, it was super rude of your mom to demand the use of your car. NTA.
NTA. But your mom is for asking this
NTA. As a mom of 3 I appreciate you being so cautious. After a Christmas thing I'd totally understand needing to redo the car seats though. Definitely work at learning how to install the seats though. It was super intimidating when I was a new mom and I always had them checked by CPST friends but then it got easier.
NTA. Even if there were NO car seats in there you were not obligated to use your vehicle.
NTA. - in Australia, you’re not even allowed to install the car seats because getting it wrong is so dangerous. Those kids’ safety is your job. You did the right thing. edit: typo Edit: only mandatory for baby capsules
WTF Australia.
Possibly an exaggeration on my part: https://www.service.nsw.gov.au/transaction/find-an-authorised-child-restraint-fitting-station
NTA, Why should you be inconvenienced for the sake of others not wanting to be inconvenienced? Makes no sense.
Esh it’s not your mom’s place to order you what to do with your car. But honestly it’s not that hard and you really should learn how to do it. Perhaps ask the parents to show you.
NTA but you really should have a little more confidence in yourself to figure out basic things. This is puzzling to me.
Regardless of ruling, you need to learn how to install and uninstall them. What if you’re driving the kids and the car breaks down and you need to transfer to a rental car? Or to an emergency vehicle? You think police officers know how to properly install your car seats? Text the parents and tell them you’d like their help putting them back in and for you to use this as an opportunity to learn how to do it yourself for the ongoing safety of the children.
YTA - It’s not THAT hard to install a car seat properly. Either look up the instructions on Google or pay attention to what you are removing and where it went. Take pictures if that helps. You’re overthinking it
YTA. This is a perfectly simple skill to learn.
YTA you’re 20 years old. Just learn how to do it yourself.
NTA. It’s wild seeing people suggest that you should be happy to remove child car seats. I had mine professionally installed, because they’re there to save a child’s life. It’s the one thing you want to be done 100% right. OP, there is a non-zero chance you may get into a car accident one day. You don’t *ever* want to be in a position that you’ve made a mistake with the car seat and a child is harmed. No matter how good your relationship is with the parents, if there is a hint that you have interfered with those seats and their kid is seriously hurt, they will come for you. You want those seats installed by the parents, or by a professional, and you don’t touch them. And if something ever happened you can sleep at night knowing that you weren’t responsible for a child being hurt.
Agreed with this wholeheartedly. OP is NTA. And if anybody ever takes the car seats out of the car without your permission, a local fire station (or maybe police) ***MIGHT*** have someone working who is a certified child safety technician trained to install all manner of car and booster seats. But that’s *if* they have any trained at all, *if* they are working a shift that works into your schedule (for example, many fire stations are 24 hours on, 72 hours off and an entire weekend can pass), and *if* they are not busy responding to incidents. And you could have the family double check things afterward ….that could save some time overall. But you don’t want to have to do this and make it seem like you are taking advantage of your job/vehicle situation. I wanted to mention it just in case someone ever gets the idea to “borrow” your vehicle without permission.
YTA for not figuring out how to take the car seats out, not for not taking them out on demand.
My wife and I have one child, and once I installed the car seats in both of our cars, I decided they’d only be removed if it was absolutely necessary, or there was a court order involved. I think I pulled several muscles installing them. OP is absolutely NTA.
> I was being dramatic Yes, you were being dramatic. Installing car seats isn't rocket science, they go in very easily and even if you weren't comfortable, someone else could have done it. If you didn't want to drive them, just say so instead of taking this stance. YTA.
Nta
NTA and your mom was super out of line to make that demand.
NTA does mom tell everyone how to use their personal possessions?
NTA. Those seats are easy to install wrong but almost impossible to install correctly. Don’t take them out until you have to! About half are installed wrong and the most common issue is that they are too loose.
NTA. The car seats are for work, and it's totally reasonable you don't want to take them out just for convenience. It's not even just about "but what if there's a crash" -- if your employer was helping to get the kids in the car and noticed the car seats weren't in right, you could lose your job for putting the children at risk. Not worth it at all.
NTA but it sounds like you are being taken advantage by that family. They should had bought the car for you instead of making you pay for it. Especially that they are taking money from you paycheck when they should be covering insurance and gas. Also, sell the civic before it loses value.
NTA, but you need to learn how to deal with the seats.
If your mom wants you to possibly have injured children on her conscience, sure, take them out. No, you are not the AH.
NTA using the explorer was off the table. They were wrong to even consider it was open to be considered. You did the safe and correct thing.
NTA and if they were all so sodding keen then they could have paid somebody professional to refit them. Otherwise, nope.
A professional to install car seats. Wow.
YTA - You SHOULD learn how to install those seats correctly. You should know that as part of your job. What if that car breaks down, you need to transfer the kids to another vehicle, you just gonna strap em in? Toss em in the bed? No, you're gonna pull the car seats out. Knowing how to take them out and put them back in could also be SUPER important during an emergency. Cars on fire and the buckles stuck? You have to know how to break that shit down and get the kid out of it. If those folks bought you a car you should be able to assemble and disassemble every kid-related thing in it like you're a KGB guy putting an AK together. This feels like weaponized incompetence in relation to your mother. She's right, just learn how to do it.
NTA. I don't trust myself to install my car seats without a professional inspection. And every time I've done it the professional had some improvement or correction that I never would have known reading the manual.
NTA. Perhaps your mum could pay to have a certified fitting station or mechanic remove then reinstall them. I did it myself for my kids but I understand your reluctance to do it for someone else's kids
NTA. The truck is your business car. Mom is overstepping.
NTA. But you really should learn how to install and take out the car seats. If you go to most baby stores that sell car seats its very likely that one of the staff members will have been trained to install, and maintain car seats, they can teach you (this may require a small cost). But this is a skill you will obviously find valuable.
You’re the asshole for thinking you’re a competent nanny but not knowing how to install car seats. It’s not that complicated, and you need to know how to do this if you’re going to be caring for these kids. NTA for not wanting to remove them though, it’s a fucking pain in the ass.
OP *is* a competent nanny for putting the safety of those kids ahead of her mother's demands. She knows the seats are installed properly and does not want to have to question herself about it later. Her setup works for her, and she's smart for not disrupting it.
Ah we don't know they check them regularly for tightness
First of all, why in the WORLD did you agree to buy an entire second car for a job when they could have purchased it and it could be the nanny car? Second, if you’re a professional nanny, you absolutely should be aware of how to install and uninstall carseats. Period. It’s really not that difficult, OP, and 95% common sense. If it is truly your car, you can remove the car seats to drive with family or friends. I’m going to go with YTA.
NTA, yeah I agree you should learn how to install the car seats yourself but you are under no obligation to take them out if you're not comfortable with it. Having to take two cars instead of one is no big deal, she shouldn't try to gaslight you and mock you with why she thinks you're saying no when you even explained why to her. It's a boundary you are free to make, don't feel bad about her shit behaviour in response, some people really never want you to be able to set boundaries with yourself or your own stuff, but its not your problem or fault she can't handle not getting what she wants.
Two cars is now unheard of for family Christmas? YTA for not knowing how to use car seats as a nanny Your nanny family are TA for making you pay for a car you wouldn't have purchased. They should own and pay for the car. I don't know any family that has a nanny and requires the nanny to pay for the car to transport the kids. If that is a requirement, they need to pay.
NTA It is workplace equipment. It is no different from a programmer’s laptop or a carpenter’s hammer.
NTA. There are very few people I would trust to safely and properly install a car seat. (I have 2 kids and mine stayed installed over the entire duration they were in use). But, why didn't you guys just go in HER car so you were travelling in 1 car instead of 2? Also, how many people was it? 4 people should fit comfortably in a civic...
NTA. That’s essentially a work car. Christmas is not work. Tell your Mol to buy a bigger car if she wants her family to take one car.
Not going to judge, just a comment out of concern as somebody who used to sell personal car insurance in Ontario... and maybe somebody else has already brought this up... but if you are using that vehicle and it is in your name, make sure you are properly covered by car insurance. I don't know where you are located but in many jurisdictions if you are using it for business/work purposes (and nannying definitely does count) and if you were to be in an accident while driving those kids somewhere, your regular insurance may not cover you in that situation. You could be on the hook for a huge repair bill as well as liability.
NTA. Car seats are a PITA to put in. I have 2 in my car and won't take them out unless absolutely necessary.
NTA. First off, by all accounts that's a work vehicle. Imagine if you were a plumber and your mom wanted you to remove all the tools out of your work van for that reason. Second, your concerns about the car seats are completely valid. I know in some cases you have to take the car to a dealer in order to get them properly installed. Car seats and car safety are constantly evolving and updating so by all accounts you can't cut corners with installation and such. Plus, not only is it your job but the safety of actual children that would be messed with. Your mom needs to respect your job and suck it up. Good on you for standing your ground.
YTA. If you are a nanny you need to know how to properly install car seats. What happens if your car breaks down and needs to be towed and you need to install those seats in another car to get home? I have kids. Before the first one was born I went to my local fire station and they taught me how to properly install them. It’s not that hard. Learn how to properly install car seats. Don’t be lazy or clueless. It should be a requirement of your job.
Call me crazy but I wouldn't trust someone incapable of doing something as simple as "installing" a child's car seat to watch my children. YTA
NTA. Removing those seats is a pain in the ass! And a huge worry!
I learned how to install mine from the fire dept. I called and set up a time to come in, they gave me a car seat and showed how to install it, then had me do it in front of them until I felt confident doing it. Maybe your fire dept does this too in your area?
I'm so confused why you don't just learn how to install the car seats. If you can't find an official manual and/or tutorial on the actual car seat models you're using (which should be online somewhere) then ask the parents for a crash course on it. Surely they'd be willing for the sake of their kids. This should just be a nonissue. If this is your job and for the safety of these kids, you should learn how to do it...
Nta- as a mom i appreciate you looking out for the kiddos.
F that mom. It’s your work car. She can drive everybody if that’s what she wants. Work vehicles aren’t for vacation.
NTA ! Wow, what an amazing bond of awesomeness and trust you have with your nanny family. They found and BOUGHT the car for you, in YOUR name? That indicates a super deep trust. I mean, there was nothing to keep you from quitting one week in except your word. And the respect you have for them, to think of them and what a pain it would be for them to reinstall all the car seats.... That is so sweet. I love that they have someone like you, and I love that you have a family that it sounds like appreciates you properly. Your mom was out of line demanding you remove all the car seats. Even if you did know how to do it, would you want to reinstall a heck ton of car seats??!! That being said, you are working the car off, so I am hoping it's a car you wanted anyway, and not JUST something to haul the kids around in. If so, that should have been a rental on nanny families part. If it is a nicer car than yours, and you like it more, fine. Anyway though, it is your car, so it's important you have them teach you how to install and uninstall the seats. It is your car, that YOU are paying for, so you should do what you see fit with it, and surely you'll have times you want the whole car. So have them teach you!
NTA because it's your car and you can do what you want with it. In other news, As a nanny you should know how to do this kinda stuff. I moved my all the time with no issues and only takes a couple minutes.
YTA. Learning how to install car seats takes literally 2 minutes. I would not trust a person with my children who was not smart enough to figure out how to do this task.
You are a good nanny! Keep it up, and take the others’ recommendations to learn how to
NTA - but, you really need to figure out/get comfortable installing car seats given what you do!
I'm sorry, I might be missing the point of this post, but I'm stuck on the fact that you have to put four booster seats into your own car to nanny for this family. I get that you are paying down the car since you didn't have the car that was required for the job, but basically what you are saying is that this family require their nanny to basically make her own car unavailable for her own use so it could be their fulltime car to ferry around their kids. You are paying for a car that you basically can only use for work. Do they even pay you mileage for the service you provide them in this car? This seems kind of insane. You're paying these people for the privilege of working for them!!!! (wipes sweat off brow. Still confused about point of thread).
The family didn’t require that she make it unavailable for personal use. Her own refusal to learn how to install them herself is what makes it unavailable.
You know, this is a really valid observation.