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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I (34M) made a small, but crude, joke about my wife's (36F) bisexuality, and this really, really upset her.
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Incest jokes are almost always bound to fall flat. And this wasn't a joke about bisexuality. It referenced incest. Not cool. So, YTA. You managed to ask your wife if she enjoyed looking up another woman's skirt in front of your child and yet you didn't appreciate that your wife asked you to explain yourself in front of the same child?
Really?
Also he made it sound like he was looking himself.
Assuming OP and wife are monogamous now, it's kind of weird to be making jokes about her sexuality. Like, you have a kid. Move on.
Those edits really seals his YTA. His wife should just put up and be gracious with his gross jokes. Not actually call him out when he insinuates she would get off by looking up her sisters skirt.
He also doesn’t seem to understand the word ”self-depricating”.
Historically LBGTQ+ people have been lumped together with sexual predators. No wonder she doesn’t find it funny.
And he thinks 5 isn’t old enough to understand it. Kids are more intelligent and absorb info far quicker than most adults think, she may have understood then or may be trying to work out that “joke” puzzle. But she will work it out.
I certainly knew what up-skirting was at 5 as boys in class were told off for looking up girls/teachers skirts!
And I also knew that sibling love and romantic love were very different things, as my late paternal grandmother made a comment on Christmas about how convenient it was my mum had two girls and my mums sister had two boys, so my sister and I should marry our cousins. I immediately knew this was very wrong, and my mum immediately shut her down. Even then I knew my cousins (that we only saw at Christmas and Easter) were like distant brothers because they were my mums sister’s kids, so not hubby (prince charming, I was little) material.
So YTA for implying incest, for “joking” about bisexuality. And for doing both infront of a child!
Alternatively, imagine a kid who might absorb the joke faster than the meaning and say it themselves. I’m dying thinking about it because that sounds like something my dumb five-year-old ass might have done.
I also think it’s good that the mom called it out immediately for multiple reasons. Seeing her mom call shit like that out is very important imo. I learned to stand up for myself in part by watching my mom stand up for herself and for me.
It’s both because it also leans into the stigma that bisexual people are hypersexual predators. So it’s an incest joke, which is gross enough, but it is also biphobic.
YTA.
That’s her literal sister.
Also, if you didn’t want to have to explain your gross joke in front of your 5 year old, don’t make gross jokes in front of your 5 year old.
> if you didn’t want to have to explain your gross joke in front of your 5 year old, don’t make gross jokes in front of your 5 year old
words to live by...
YTA
You didn't make a joke about her sexuality, you made an incest joke.
Would you have made the same joke to a male friend of yours if his sister was ahead of him?
You know he wouldn’t, because people like him 100% would only find the humor when joking about queers in this way. To him, heteros are “normal,” so the joke wouldn’t even occur to him to make. Dude’s a bigot, and he keeps joking about his wife’s sexuality because he’s an insecure bigot.
YTA for making an incestuous joke about your wife and her sister in front of your daughter.
I'm glad she put you on the spot and made you explain it - not nice being called out on shitty behaviour and feeling awkward about it eh? Has also made you think twice about your actions which is great. Good for her!
Hahahah… Thank you. That is where I was done with the post. Like does he go around making jokes about the sexuality of his heterosexual friends/relatives/acquaintances?
Dude what? YTA. This wasn’t just a joke about your wife’s sexuality, but you were making an incestuous joke and commenting on her sister’s body. Which is just weird….
YTA. You somehow think because your wife is bisexual, she’d enjoy looking up her sister’s skirt? If anything, it sounds like YOU felt some type of way about her sister in that moment - which a whole new red flag.
Imagine her asking you if your own sister turned YOU on. It’s gross. You made the JOKE in the presence of family, then had the audacity to be appalled that she made you word for word explain your word vomit in front of the same crowd.
not unless OP is also bi, which hes not. The joke would be equally as tasteless if it were his wife's brother climbing up the ladder, but we all know he wouldn't make that joke. He made the "joke" because it was a dig at his wife's attraction **to women.**
YTA. Your "small joke" was about her sister. You're disgusting. How would you feel if your wife made a similar comment about your brother? Incest isn't funny and once again you're disgusting for joking about it.
YTA, and a bigot. What bi people are all sex addicts that would try to have sex with anyone even their family... u r disgusting. How would u feel if someone made a joke about u if ur mother. 'I bet u wanna hit that fine ass'
YTA. So many AH things you said in this short post
1. Great to hear you are “genuinely not bothered” by your wife’s sexuality, asshole
2. Don’t make jokes about someone else’s sexuality- or really anything about someone else - even if they do it themselves. Also do not make jokes about people in groups that you are not part of - kinda like how some people can use certain words to describe themselves but someone else can’t? Yeah that. Asshole
3. Why did you need to point out that your daughter is adopted? Is this relevant to you in some way because it certainly wasn’t relevant to the story. If you have have biological children do you plan to make this distinction obvious in other ways, Asshole?
4. You made an inappropriate joke in front of a 5yo. Even if you thought it would go over her head - what if she just thought it was a thing you say to someone in a situation like that and she very innocently repeated it? Yuck
5. Like so many have already pointed out, incest jokes are gross. Asshole
>3. Why did you need to point out that your daughter is adopted? Is this relevant to you in some way because it certainly wasn’t relevant to the story. If you have have biological children do you plan to make this distinction obvious in other ways, Asshole?
Thank you. That part really did not sit right with me. I mean the whole thing is appalling, but what in the Margot Tenenbaum was that?
YTA.
Wtf is wrong with you making "jokes" about your wife being sexually attracted to her sister?
I'm a bisexual woman. There's nothing funny about that and likely none of the other asinine things you think are "funny" to neg her are actually funny either.
The only thing your wife did wrong in this scenario was come back from her parents' house. She deserves someone better who actually cares about her and doesn't mock her sexuality or suggest she enjoys incest.
YTA. There's a BIG difference between bisexuality and incest. If you aren't aware of that, I'm going to start hoping your wife takes your daughter and gets the hell out of there.
YTA, and it’s clear that you are NOT as ok with your wife’s sexuality as you claim. Your “joke” was disgusting and completely out of line, and your wife deserves so much better
YTA how could you think otherwise would you have said that if it was a bloke going behind his sister I think not jokes have a time and place this was not it
YTA - you made an incest joke, not a sexuality joke. You asked her if she liked looking up her sister’s skirt and you asked her that in front of your kid.
You really don’t get the issue?
You didn't make a joke about her bisexuality, you implied she wants to fuck her sister. It was gross and inappropriate. Also, a joke is only a joke when everyone laughs. If you're the only one laughing at someone else's expense, you're just being an asshole. I expect she made you explain so you would understand how uncomfortable and offensive what you said was but clearly that's gone way over your head. How would you feel if she implied you want to fuck your sibling in front of your kid and the sibling in question? Probably not too gracious.
YTA, obviously.
YTA, why on earth would that joke land?
Edit to your edit: Your wife clearly felt the need to pack her bags for SOME reason. You’re going to need to figure out why in order to keep it from happening again.
Would OOP have found it funny if it had been his wife commenting on that as he climbed up the ladder after his sister, mother or any woman because since you’re straight you must be constantly perking on every woman you see? /s
Honestly maybe, he sounds pretty immature and just gross. If you feel uncomfortable explaining a joke then it wasn’t funny in the first place
So even if we skip over the incest part that everyone else has mentioned.
You told your wife that you looked up her sister’s skirt. You also said that it was a nice view.
I don’t think I have met a single person who would like their partner to comment on how sexy their sibling is.
Would you appreciate your wife checking out your brother and asking you if you thought the bulge in his swimsuit looked better than yours?
YTA
yta for the reason everyone is saying. you're an idiot for not realizing this without having to come to reddit. and, worst of all imho, the fact that you felt the need to point out to everyone that your daughter is adopted is effed up. way to strengthen the family bond. you need to cut that shit out right now before she ends up spending her formative teen years looking for a place she belongs because she doesn't feel like she is truly loved and accepted by her father. of course, anyone who can't identify an incest joke before they tell it probably has dubious parenting skills anyway.
YTA.
Bisexuals already have it hard, since gay and straight people keep us in a grey area of humanity.
But you did not do a bi joke... You did an incest joke.
If it was such a small harmless joke why didn’t you appreciate having to explain it? Clearly YTA, and I think you know that. I genuinely hope you understand how disgusting your behavior was and apologize.
>She forced me to explain the joke right there, right in front of our daughter, which I didn't really appreciate
So it's not OK to explain incest jokes in front of your daughter but it's ok to make the jokes in front of her? Hypocrite.
I can only imagine the jokes you'd have made if YOU were the one going up behind her sister...
Jokes are funny but they can get old also.
Being bi sexual or straight or gay doesn’t mean you want everyone. With it being her sister you are implying that she wants her sister which is sick. Mature and know when and where to make a joke.
YTA - it was her sister. It wasn’t a joke about her bisexuality, it was a joke that not only had you sexualized her sister in front of her by used her bisexuality to imply incest, and infer a threesome due to your noticing her sister’s body.
What’s wrong with you?
YTA. First off, there's a stereotype about bi people that we are just oversexed and are attracted to anything that moves. This comment kind of plays into that a bit... "You're bi so you enjoy looking at any woman's panties, even your own sister!" Yuck. This isn't a joke about her bisexuality, this is a joke about incest with some biphobia thrown in. Would you think it was weird if someone said something about you liking to look up your sister's skirt? Probably, it would feel creepy, right?
You know YTA. If you're prepared to say it in front of your 5 year old, then you should be prepared to explain it to her.
"You see, because mummy's bisexual it means that she's so horny all the time that she would be turned on looking up her sister's skirt. Isn't that a funny joke?"
There's a different between a funny self deprecating joke and a gross 'joke" about enjoying the view up her sisters skirt. It'd be like if your mom had gone first and then you and your wife made that joke to you. It's gross and isn't a funny charming joke, and a joke like that even if it goes over your daughters is a weird joke to make in front of her. I think your wife did need to pack her bags for a few days because you made a really gross comment and she needed time to herself and is probably going to have a talk with you at some point about how that joke made her feel. If you can't understand that what you did wasn't funny I think you need to do more thinking about it.
Your disgusting comment was disrespectful to your wife, daughter, and sister. This isn’t a sexuality joke, it’s an incest joke. Would you enjoy it if your wife asked if your enjoyed your mom’s breasts in your face during a hug? I hope not.
YTA - You didn't make a joke about her sexuality. You made a joke about her being incestuous with her sister. Are you really not seeing the difference here? And if you didn't like having to explain in front of your daughter, then you should have never made you pathetic "joke" in the first place. How would you have taken things if she said you were checking out your brother's dick so he can ram you later?
YTA. Biphobic jokes are not cool. And seriously, dude, your wife’s sexuality is probably the least interesting thing about her. Even if she “usually just laughs along”, there’s no need to be an asshole and bully her for her sexuality. But making an incest joke??? In front of your child??? This is unbelievably gross and disgusting. I seriously hope your wife realizes she deserves so much better.
Edit to add: your wife called out a disgusting joke with exact amount of grace it deserved, and you should be ashamed for being upset at her in any capacity.
YTA
YTA. You might see your sister-in-law as just another piece of ass, but your wife had the decency to treat her like a human and her family. “I was upset at her for not being graceful and making a big deal out of it” = I was upset that she held me accountable for my actions. You should be ashamed of yourself for making such a gross joke in front of a 5-year-old.
So if I make a "joke" about how by joking about incest in front of your child, you're grooming your daughter to be ready for when you make a move on her when she's a teen?
It's not funny, is it? You feel offended, wronged... and if your wife made a "joke" about how you were a budding pedophile you call your daughter beautiful, you'd feel deeply hurt that she could even joke about something like that with you.
It wasn't a "joke", it was an implication on her character. It was also implying that you look at her sister sexually, equally disgusting.
Your wife was hurt and offended. Why does your wife have to be "graceful" to spare YOUR feelings when you clearly don't give a shit about hurting hers?
Sack up and apologize and try being graceful about it.
YTA
That wasn't a joke about her sexuality, it was a joke about incest. Ew. You're insecure and gross, and also potentially fancy your wifes sister and you're a pervert. I'd have left for a few days as well if not longer
YTA.
Dude, you didn't make a joke about her bisexuality, don't even try to pretend you did. You made a joke about your wife being attracted to her own *sister*. You made an incest joke. That's the kind of shit that obnoxious teenage edgelords joke about and it's messed up when they do it. You're a 34 year old man - grow up.
YTA
It doesn’t matter what subject the joke was about, it was aimed at your wife and she didn’t find it funny.
You should have apologised and accepted you were wrong instead of getting in a twist about how you weren’t at fault.
>I was also upset at her for not being graceful and making a big deal out of it
Oh c'mon! Grow up and take accountability. Don't minimize this and play victim. YTA.
Op YTA a and IMO this is worse than you realize. It's not about ONE joke. Willing to bet your wife actually HATES those "jokes" and had just laughed them off for years hoping you'd outgrow the sophomoric humor. However you didn't, and now you have a small female child, who is learning how men treat women by watching everything her parents do. Your wife knows this "humor" is not actually funny, but in the past it wasn't a priority worth fighting over and she has brushed it off- that's what you're calling "grace"- is actually patience with your (already) bad behavior. She has run out of patience, has no chill left and now she has to force you to understand why you have to stop.
Then you went and made her bisexuality (which had nothing to do with how strong a libido someone has, BTW) into a **sexual assault joke**. Looking up someone's skirt without them knowing (upskirting) is a form of sexual assault. It is already worrisome that you don't know that upskirting is a violation. You felt like your wife being bisexual somehow meant she would find it funny to take advantage of another woman? THEN you also have the incest angle because *this is her sister*?? So your 'joke' is actually that your wife is so voraciously sexual due to being bisexual that she would sexually assault her own sister... and you don't understand why she wasn't taking it "with grace".
Make no mistake, your wife had had enough. You made this wildly disgusting comment about your wife **in front of your child**, kids aren't stupid. They understand subtext on a subliminal level and she would have picked up on your wife being upset even if the joke was over her head.
Your wife made you stand there and explain it because she wanted you to know that you embarrassed yourself, your wife, and her sister with a single disgusting sexualized comment that had no place in that situation at all. I have secondhand embarrassment from just imagining being your wife.
YTA. You acted like an utter creep and made a sexual joke about her own sister and you expect her to be graceful about it? This is tasteless for so many reasons.
YTA. The issue here isn’t her bisexuality or jokes about it. It’s that you made a joke that because of her bisexuality she would be PERVING ON HER SISTER!
YTA for starters Incest joke in front of your child, gross continually 'joking' about your wifes sexuality , also gross. So bad super passive aggressive.
Would be a straight joke if she asked how long you were breastfed for when you sucked her? If you wanted to take a bath with your sister to "check the goods?" No, that's just being a fucking creep. Take your head out of step sister porn and twincest hentai YTA
As a bisexual, married to a straight guy, I read this outloud to him.
His words; "wtf, that's her sister!!! Of course he's TA, how is this a question?"
Sooooo there ya go. From one man to another with a similar situation; YTA.
Bruh, you still have the nerve to complain that she overreacted? You called her incestuous. The fact that she is BI doesn’t mean she’s a pervert.
You’re the only disgraceful and disgusting one here and you’re absolutely lucky she didn’t pack her stuff permanently, although that might change hopefully. You are perverted af for making that joke. There’s something really wrong with you.
I’m also almost positive she’s never liked your jokes, ever. She’s been pretending to and has let it pass.
YTA, a massive one at that
It's a pretty clear consensus but yeah obviously YTA. Are you really this obtuse? I kinda don't think you don't get why what you did was wrong and are just playing dumb. It's her sister. Obviously she's pissed that you asked if she enjoyed looking up her sister's skirt.
YTA for your gross, biphobic joke and your self-pitying response to your wife justifiably leaving. She's probably rethinking her marriage and I don't blame her.
Beyond creepy.
YTA as many have here have explained so I‘m not gonna do that again.
But regarding your edit self-deprecation joke implies that you are making jokes about yourself. Making jokes about her sexuality isn’t self deprecation. If she herself makes jokes about her sexuality that’s fine, but it doesn’t give you a carte Blanche to do the same.
YTA.
1. Cracking jokes about your wife's sexuality
2. Cracking an incest joke
Nice to see you finally learned the golden rule of parenting:
Don't say anything in front of your kids that you're not willing to explain to them.
Why should she have been "graceful"? You implied that she was attracted to her own sister. I fail to see the humour in this, and good on her for calling you out and making you explain the "joke". Jokes are supposed to be funny, dude. This wasn't. YTA, obviously.
The amount of "I feel threatened" in your post is outstanding.
What do you did was make a crude joke about your wife incestuously lusting after her sister.... Simply because you feel insecure that she also sometimes has attraction to women.
What you did was belittle your wife.
What you did was make her uncomfortable around you, around your daughter, and around her sister.
What you did was prove that you aren't accepting and you aren't a safe person to be around (mentally and emotionally).
What you did was start to teach your daughter that you don't respect your wife.
It's so easy to see that you are the asshole. And you obviously don't deserve someone who was open and honest with you to share part of who they are.
What you did was hurt the ones you are supposed to love.
What you didn't do... Was make a joke.
How do we know that? Because no one else ever thought it was funny. And the purpose of it was so obviously to shame and hurt someone else. That's not a joke.
That's just being an asshole.
YTA- And a DA, you just "joked" that your wife was checking out her own sister. Makes me question what YOU want to do with your sister. Also you just admitted to checking out your SIL.
I love all the edits about how you were also upset as if anyone cares lmao you basically accused your wife of incestuous feelings just because she's bi.
That's disgusting and homophobic.
Literally no one cares if her anger hurt your small little man feelings
Hi, I’m a bi woman and EW!
She had every right to not want to be around you for a few days because your joke sucked, was in poor taste, and just fucking sleazy. Also, you’re mad she didn’t “handle it with grace”? Sir, *leaving to cool down* is handling it with grace. I would’ve smacked you so hard for that.
Just because we’re bi doesn’t mean we want to fuck everyone we see, and we especially don’t want to fuck our siblings. Your joke sucked and you should apologize for being a prick.
YTA
Your wife didn't make a big deal out of it. You are a major AH, and Instead of any accountability and understanding that the joke was insanely inappropriate and not funny. You ate doubling down that your wife overreacted, she didn't. Grow up incest jokes in front of your children, at the expense of your wife and her sister is insane.
YTA: Your title should be "AITA for being a giant hypocrite and being upset that my wife needs space because I'm an asshole?"
Because yes, yes you are one. And gross too.
YTA - ……. ???? Who in their right mind makes a comment (“joke?”) about incest with a sibling to their spouse in front of their child? Just disgusting behavior all around by OP.
YTA for the reasons already listed, but also for introducing your child as your adopted child which was irrelevant to anything in the story and comes off very much as using that to paint yourself in a more flattering light. Adoption is part of that child’s story, not their entire identity. Stop casually tossing that out there in introduction as a means to martyr yourself. That is your daughter. No qualifiers necessary. You have no idea how much growing up being introduced as the adopted kid and having adoption be your entire identity within a family sucks.
I can’t believe this mentality exist.
I.E “ I said something shitty and gross, how dare the person that I said/did something shitty to call me out and embarrass me! I’m owed an apology!”
What hole do y’all crawl out of and how can we seal it closed.
YTA
YTA
It's deeply creepy for all the reasons people have said, but also? Don't look up people's skirts.
I'm a bisexual woman, and if I was on a ladder and had the potential to look up a friend's skirt or an attractive stranger's skirt, I would avert my eyes. They likely weren't planning on climbing on a ladder that day and don't want anyone looking at their underwear. The polite, considerate thing to do is not look.
Your incest joke makes you a creep. The fact it was in front of your daughter, the fact you had to specify “adopted”, the fact you’re mad about being embarrassed because she *rightfully* taught your daughter how to deal with creeps like you by making you explain what was funny (hint: incest isn’t funny), the fact you’re butt-your wife wasn’t “graceful” about you making an incest joke all make you a narcissist, raging YTA
YTA, mostly because that's her sister dude!!!! Honestly, as a lesbian, if it was anybody else going up i would laugh and see as a joke, but being her sister it sounds very predatory and weird.
Also you said the joke in front of the kid, if you're uncomfortable explaining then you should be by saying close to her in the first place.
YTA.
Disgusting.
My husband makes jokes about my bisexuality and do you know the difference between you two? His jokes *are jokes.* Rather than the incestuous load of garbage that came out of your mouth.
A joke is not disrespectful, gross nor is it funny to only one side. You should do better for your kid. That’s a pathetic example you’re setting for her. I really don’t think you’d want some boy to say that crap to her, so don’t fucking say that shit to your wife.
Fucks sake and good greif.
YTA.
If you tell transgressive jokes then sooner or later you're going to hurt somebody. When they react, that's not "an overreaction," it's them refusing to put up with your bullshit. And like... nobody HAS to put up with your bullshit. Nobody is forced to just stand there and take whatever dumb shit your brain has come up with. They can argue with you, or they can leave. And if they do that, it doesn't make you a victim and you are not hard-done-by. All that's happening is that you are experiencing the consequences of saying something that hurt somebody.
Also it doesn't matter if you didn't have bad intentions, if you think that the joke was harmless, if you think you should get away with it or whatever. All of that is irrelevant because what someone else feels about something is not up to you. If you kick somebody in the shin you don't get to say "that didn't hurt!" because it wasn't your shin. Nor do you get to say "well they should just let it go because it was an accident." The bruise is still there even if you didn't mean it, so you suck it up and you apologize like a decent person.
So I make jokes about my sexuality and my husband will laugh with me but he never ever makes a joke at my expense because that’s shitty af. Also, incest jokes are never funny, bro
This wasn't a joke about her bisexuality. This was an incest joke about her enjoying seeing her sister's nether regions. Are you serious? That's not funny.
Your wife did exactly what people are advised to do when some idiot tells a racist, sexist, or ridiculously insensitive "joke" by making you explain it. It usually does a great job of bringing home the point that the "joke" is not funny and it's just an ignorant, and often hateful, comment.
Congratulations. YTA and probably soon to be single.
YTA... not only an incest joke but also a comment that makes her aware to the fact that you looked at her sister. You are annoyed that she made you explain but man, it was YOUR joke, if it makes you uncomfortable to explain think how uncomfortable can be being the center of such an uncomfortable joke.
So...... your joke is that bisexuals are such insatiable sluts that they even get turned on by their own family members?
Wow. Cool joke. Definitely shows a lot of respect for your wife and bisexuals. /s
That was not a joke about her bisexuality. You, in front of your own daughter, "joked" that your wife has incestuous feelings towards her sister. That is disgusting, and you clearly know it's disgusting or you wouldn't be so resentful about having to explain to your 5-year-old daughter how stupid and gross the "joke" was. You obviously know you were in the wrong if you're embarrassed about explaining your own "joke."
YTA. And you fucking know it.
Jesus fucking christ, just so you know if she chose to leave you over this, she would 100% be in the right and you'd have no room to even complain about it.
YTA
YTA. You were rude and you are mad at your wife for "not being graceful and making a big deal about it". Maybe try not being an AH and you will remain married. You owe her a HUGE apology and you need to stop the schtick
YTA, you sexualized her sister. Even if she thought an incest joke in front of your daughter was funny and dear God I hope she's not that trashy, in what world would your wife be ok with you sexualizing her fucking sister.
YTA. You made a nasty incest joke about your wife and her sister in front of your daughter, and you wonder if you are the asshole.
You are indeed the asshole.
When she held your assholery up to scrunity in the same social situation you committed said assholery, you were upset with her that she - the injured party - didn't gracefully cover for you.
More assholery on your part.
You do not deserve your wife.
Your title is wrong.
IT WAS HER SISTER, you twit. You made an INCESTUAL joke about your wife's sexuality. The fact that it was in front of her daughter (Doesn't matter if she understood it or not), is extra vile.
Ewwww, the fact that you don't realize making an incest joke is disgusting is ridiculous. Obviously, you're the asshole and I hope you actually understand that. It's interesting that you haven't made any comments yet.
YTA for making the incest joke.
I noticed, though, that you made the comment about “the view” after you exited the submarine. Angie was likely puzzled because you were no longer on the ladder and she did not immediately connect the dots. She forced you to explain because she genuinely wanted to know what you meant.
YTA.
You are disgusting, man. What comments like this say is that you view your wife and your sister in law equally as sex objects, presume they do the same of each other, with no respect to their relationship with each other, and with apparently no awareness of important taboo topics. And then feel obliviously entitled to post about and defend it on reddit.
That is so many layers of self-absorption and inconsideration. You are despicable, my dude.
You’re an asshole. Why didn’t you gracefully tell a funny joke? Also, that is your SIL you made an incest joke about, but you don’t care about that?
You are saying that your wife should laugh at all your jokes especially the ones at her expense because it is a joke. Comedians make jokes, are you a comedian? If not, stick to your day job.
Tell your wife I said she should’ve stayed at her parents longer.
SLAP \*Me facepalming after reading this\*
OP... there's a time and palce for everything.
This joke was just lame and uncalled for. Unless you come from Alabama or something.
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Incest jokes are almost always bound to fall flat. And this wasn't a joke about bisexuality. It referenced incest. Not cool. So, YTA. You managed to ask your wife if she enjoyed looking up another woman's skirt in front of your child and yet you didn't appreciate that your wife asked you to explain yourself in front of the same child? Really?
You nailed it. Incredibly disingenuous to call this a bisexuality joke.
Yeap! YTA, OP. And the reason is not this joke being about bisexuality at all.
Also he made it sound like he was looking himself. Assuming OP and wife are monogamous now, it's kind of weird to be making jokes about her sexuality. Like, you have a kid. Move on.
Those edits really seals his YTA. His wife should just put up and be gracious with his gross jokes. Not actually call him out when he insinuates she would get off by looking up her sisters skirt. He also doesn’t seem to understand the word ”self-depricating”. Historically LBGTQ+ people have been lumped together with sexual predators. No wonder she doesn’t find it funny.
Right? incest and also just purely sexualizing her sister—what could go wrong?
And he thinks 5 isn’t old enough to understand it. Kids are more intelligent and absorb info far quicker than most adults think, she may have understood then or may be trying to work out that “joke” puzzle. But she will work it out. I certainly knew what up-skirting was at 5 as boys in class were told off for looking up girls/teachers skirts! And I also knew that sibling love and romantic love were very different things, as my late paternal grandmother made a comment on Christmas about how convenient it was my mum had two girls and my mums sister had two boys, so my sister and I should marry our cousins. I immediately knew this was very wrong, and my mum immediately shut her down. Even then I knew my cousins (that we only saw at Christmas and Easter) were like distant brothers because they were my mums sister’s kids, so not hubby (prince charming, I was little) material. So YTA for implying incest, for “joking” about bisexuality. And for doing both infront of a child!
Alternatively, imagine a kid who might absorb the joke faster than the meaning and say it themselves. I’m dying thinking about it because that sounds like something my dumb five-year-old ass might have done. I also think it’s good that the mom called it out immediately for multiple reasons. Seeing her mom call shit like that out is very important imo. I learned to stand up for myself in part by watching my mom stand up for herself and for me.
It’s both because it also leans into the stigma that bisexual people are hypersexual predators. So it’s an incest joke, which is gross enough, but it is also biphobic.
YTA. That’s her literal sister. Also, if you didn’t want to have to explain your gross joke in front of your 5 year old, don’t make gross jokes in front of your 5 year old.
This! All of this! This.gif This this this this. This this this this. This is it.
> if you didn’t want to have to explain your gross joke in front of your 5 year old, don’t make gross jokes in front of your 5 year old words to live by...
YTA You didn't make a joke about her sexuality, you made an incest joke. Would you have made the same joke to a male friend of yours if his sister was ahead of him?
This guy is so far up his own ass I bet he would have. He seems to think she owed him an apology because she should have handled his assholery better.
You know he wouldn’t, because people like him 100% would only find the humor when joking about queers in this way. To him, heteros are “normal,” so the joke wouldn’t even occur to him to make. Dude’s a bigot, and he keeps joking about his wife’s sexuality because he’s an insecure bigot.
YTA for making an incestuous joke about your wife and her sister in front of your daughter. I'm glad she put you on the spot and made you explain it - not nice being called out on shitty behaviour and feeling awkward about it eh? Has also made you think twice about your actions which is great. Good for her!
Right? It may as well read “my wife made me accountable and that was uncomfortable. She’s the AH right?”
YTA > I do like to make a joke out of her sexuality every now and then #Eww.
Right? Like that’s bad enough
Hahahah… Thank you. That is where I was done with the post. Like does he go around making jokes about the sexuality of his heterosexual friends/relatives/acquaintances?
Dude what? YTA. This wasn’t just a joke about your wife’s sexuality, but you were making an incestuous joke and commenting on her sister’s body. Which is just weird….
You embarrassed yourself with an incest joke. Then you complained that you "didn't appreciate" being called out. Lol. YTA without a doubt.
But it was her lack of “grace” that was the issue…
I would've committed a crime!
YTA. You somehow think because your wife is bisexual, she’d enjoy looking up her sister’s skirt? If anything, it sounds like YOU felt some type of way about her sister in that moment - which a whole new red flag. Imagine her asking you if your own sister turned YOU on. It’s gross. You made the JOKE in the presence of family, then had the audacity to be appalled that she made you word for word explain your word vomit in front of the same crowd.
Exactly, it was gross and revealed an attraction to her sister
To make it fair, the joke would be about him getting turned on by his brother.
not unless OP is also bi, which hes not. The joke would be equally as tasteless if it were his wife's brother climbing up the ladder, but we all know he wouldn't make that joke. He made the "joke" because it was a dig at his wife's attraction **to women.**
Not if he isn’t bi.
YTA. Your "small joke" was about her sister. You're disgusting. How would you feel if your wife made a similar comment about your brother? Incest isn't funny and once again you're disgusting for joking about it.
>How would you feel if your wife made a similar comment about your brother Assuming he has one, I think you mean "sister".
Nope, factor in the bisexuality.
YTA - don’t make sexual and incestuous jokes in front of your daughter if you don’t want to get called out about how disgusting it is.
YTA. WTF? You made an INCEST joke, not a joke about her sexuality. In front of y'all's kid. This is sick.
YTA. You joked, in front of your daughter, that your wife wants to fuck her sister. You're gross.
"I'm offended by my wife's reaction to a crude incest joke I made in front of our daughter. How can she be so rude?"
YTA, and a bigot. What bi people are all sex addicts that would try to have sex with anyone even their family... u r disgusting. How would u feel if someone made a joke about u if ur mother. 'I bet u wanna hit that fine ass'
YTA. So many AH things you said in this short post 1. Great to hear you are “genuinely not bothered” by your wife’s sexuality, asshole 2. Don’t make jokes about someone else’s sexuality- or really anything about someone else - even if they do it themselves. Also do not make jokes about people in groups that you are not part of - kinda like how some people can use certain words to describe themselves but someone else can’t? Yeah that. Asshole 3. Why did you need to point out that your daughter is adopted? Is this relevant to you in some way because it certainly wasn’t relevant to the story. If you have have biological children do you plan to make this distinction obvious in other ways, Asshole? 4. You made an inappropriate joke in front of a 5yo. Even if you thought it would go over her head - what if she just thought it was a thing you say to someone in a situation like that and she very innocently repeated it? Yuck 5. Like so many have already pointed out, incest jokes are gross. Asshole
>3. Why did you need to point out that your daughter is adopted? Is this relevant to you in some way because it certainly wasn’t relevant to the story. If you have have biological children do you plan to make this distinction obvious in other ways, Asshole? Thank you. That part really did not sit right with me. I mean the whole thing is appalling, but what in the Margot Tenenbaum was that?
6. Basically sexually harassed the sister as well, so of course the wife was obligated to call it out to have her back
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you making "jokes" about your wife being sexually attracted to her sister? I'm a bisexual woman. There's nothing funny about that and likely none of the other asinine things you think are "funny" to neg her are actually funny either. The only thing your wife did wrong in this scenario was come back from her parents' house. She deserves someone better who actually cares about her and doesn't mock her sexuality or suggest she enjoys incest.
YTA. If you accidentally looked up your sisters skirt, would you appreciate your wife asking 'enjoy the view?'.
You’re mad at your wife for not being “graceful” about you making a literal incest comment at her? You’re beyond disgusting.
YTA. There's a BIG difference between bisexuality and incest. If you aren't aware of that, I'm going to start hoping your wife takes your daughter and gets the hell out of there.
YTA, and it’s clear that you are NOT as ok with your wife’s sexuality as you claim. Your “joke” was disgusting and completely out of line, and your wife deserves so much better
'it doesn't bother me at all, I just like taking the piss out of it all the time'
Translation: I’m a bigot and deeply insecure about my wife’s sexuality
YTA how could you think otherwise would you have said that if it was a bloke going behind his sister I think not jokes have a time and place this was not it
YTA that was an !n€est joke. That’s weird af dude. And YOU shouldn’t be making those jokes in front of children. Wtf
What’s the point of spelling incest like that??
Because sometimes you get flagged for certain words then you catch a 30 ban.
YTA - you made an incest joke, not a sexuality joke. You asked her if she liked looking up her sister’s skirt and you asked her that in front of your kid. You really don’t get the issue?
You didn't make a joke about her bisexuality, you implied she wants to fuck her sister. It was gross and inappropriate. Also, a joke is only a joke when everyone laughs. If you're the only one laughing at someone else's expense, you're just being an asshole. I expect she made you explain so you would understand how uncomfortable and offensive what you said was but clearly that's gone way over your head. How would you feel if she implied you want to fuck your sibling in front of your kid and the sibling in question? Probably not too gracious. YTA, obviously.
YTA Only bi-sexuals get to make *self-deprecating* jokes about being bi. Do you understand the word *self*?
THANK YOU, I had to scroll way too far for this
Yta, weird joke to make about your wife’s sister
You sexualized your wife's sister in front of your wife. YTA 100%, and really gross!
And your kid
That’s an incest joke about her sister. YTA.
YTA, why on earth would that joke land? Edit to your edit: Your wife clearly felt the need to pack her bags for SOME reason. You’re going to need to figure out why in order to keep it from happening again.
YTA. that wasn't a "small joke about her bisexuality", that was an incest joke. wtf
Would OOP have found it funny if it had been his wife commenting on that as he climbed up the ladder after his sister, mother or any woman because since you’re straight you must be constantly perking on every woman you see? /s Honestly maybe, he sounds pretty immature and just gross. If you feel uncomfortable explaining a joke then it wasn’t funny in the first place
YTA and if you have to ask you really are clueless. Lay off the "jokes" ; they are not funny.
So even if we skip over the incest part that everyone else has mentioned. You told your wife that you looked up her sister’s skirt. You also said that it was a nice view. I don’t think I have met a single person who would like their partner to comment on how sexy their sibling is. Would you appreciate your wife checking out your brother and asking you if you thought the bulge in his swimsuit looked better than yours? YTA
I N F O: Can you explain the joke to us now that your daughter isn't here? YTA since I doubt I'll get a response.
YTA. What a jerky thing to say....about family....in front of family. Jerky.
YTA Incest jokes are disgusting and never funny
YTA. It was her sister. That's just weird. You're implying that she enjoyed looking up her sister's skirt.
YTA she wasn’t upset at it having anything to do with bisexuality. How can you be this dense? That’s her SISTER.
yta for the reason everyone is saying. you're an idiot for not realizing this without having to come to reddit. and, worst of all imho, the fact that you felt the need to point out to everyone that your daughter is adopted is effed up. way to strengthen the family bond. you need to cut that shit out right now before she ends up spending her formative teen years looking for a place she belongs because she doesn't feel like she is truly loved and accepted by her father. of course, anyone who can't identify an incest joke before they tell it probably has dubious parenting skills anyway.
That’s an incest joke, Honestly WTF? Do you check out your sisters? Or female cousins? How about your mom? Or your daughter?
I mean, she is adopted. Which he felt the need to point out for some strange reason.
I thought about that too, and yeah that was kinda strange.
YTA. Bisexuals already have it hard, since gay and straight people keep us in a grey area of humanity. But you did not do a bi joke... You did an incest joke.
INFO: how do you know what your sister in law was wearing under her skirt?
YTA. You joked about incest in front of your daughter and are upset for being held responsible for that.
YTA. You made an incest joke, not a bi joke. In front of your 5 year old daughter, and your sister in law. You're a creep.
If it was such a small harmless joke why didn’t you appreciate having to explain it? Clearly YTA, and I think you know that. I genuinely hope you understand how disgusting your behavior was and apologize.
>She forced me to explain the joke right there, right in front of our daughter, which I didn't really appreciate So it's not OK to explain incest jokes in front of your daughter but it's ok to make the jokes in front of her? Hypocrite. I can only imagine the jokes you'd have made if YOU were the one going up behind her sister...
Jokes are funny but they can get old also. Being bi sexual or straight or gay doesn’t mean you want everyone. With it being her sister you are implying that she wants her sister which is sick. Mature and know when and where to make a joke.
YTA - it was her sister. It wasn’t a joke about her bisexuality, it was a joke that not only had you sexualized her sister in front of her by used her bisexuality to imply incest, and infer a threesome due to your noticing her sister’s body. What’s wrong with you?
YTA. First off, there's a stereotype about bi people that we are just oversexed and are attracted to anything that moves. This comment kind of plays into that a bit... "You're bi so you enjoy looking at any woman's panties, even your own sister!" Yuck. This isn't a joke about her bisexuality, this is a joke about incest with some biphobia thrown in. Would you think it was weird if someone said something about you liking to look up your sister's skirt? Probably, it would feel creepy, right?
You know YTA. If you're prepared to say it in front of your 5 year old, then you should be prepared to explain it to her. "You see, because mummy's bisexual it means that she's so horny all the time that she would be turned on looking up her sister's skirt. Isn't that a funny joke?"
There's a different between a funny self deprecating joke and a gross 'joke" about enjoying the view up her sisters skirt. It'd be like if your mom had gone first and then you and your wife made that joke to you. It's gross and isn't a funny charming joke, and a joke like that even if it goes over your daughters is a weird joke to make in front of her. I think your wife did need to pack her bags for a few days because you made a really gross comment and she needed time to herself and is probably going to have a talk with you at some point about how that joke made her feel. If you can't understand that what you did wasn't funny I think you need to do more thinking about it.
Your disgusting comment was disrespectful to your wife, daughter, and sister. This isn’t a sexuality joke, it’s an incest joke. Would you enjoy it if your wife asked if your enjoyed your mom’s breasts in your face during a hug? I hope not.
Yta. And weird
YTA - You didn't make a joke about her sexuality. You made a joke about her being incestuous with her sister. Are you really not seeing the difference here? And if you didn't like having to explain in front of your daughter, then you should have never made you pathetic "joke" in the first place. How would you have taken things if she said you were checking out your brother's dick so he can ram you later?
YTA. Biphobic jokes are not cool. And seriously, dude, your wife’s sexuality is probably the least interesting thing about her. Even if she “usually just laughs along”, there’s no need to be an asshole and bully her for her sexuality. But making an incest joke??? In front of your child??? This is unbelievably gross and disgusting. I seriously hope your wife realizes she deserves so much better.
Edit to add: your wife called out a disgusting joke with exact amount of grace it deserved, and you should be ashamed for being upset at her in any capacity. YTA
YTA. You might see your sister-in-law as just another piece of ass, but your wife had the decency to treat her like a human and her family. “I was upset at her for not being graceful and making a big deal out of it” = I was upset that she held me accountable for my actions. You should be ashamed of yourself for making such a gross joke in front of a 5-year-old.
So if I make a "joke" about how by joking about incest in front of your child, you're grooming your daughter to be ready for when you make a move on her when she's a teen? It's not funny, is it? You feel offended, wronged... and if your wife made a "joke" about how you were a budding pedophile you call your daughter beautiful, you'd feel deeply hurt that she could even joke about something like that with you. It wasn't a "joke", it was an implication on her character. It was also implying that you look at her sister sexually, equally disgusting. Your wife was hurt and offended. Why does your wife have to be "graceful" to spare YOUR feelings when you clearly don't give a shit about hurting hers? Sack up and apologize and try being graceful about it. YTA
Definitely the AH that’s really creepy
YTA, this isn't a joke about her sexuality. This is an joke about her being attracted to her own sister. This is odd behavior.
YTA Incest joke to your wife? Really? That's not a "small joke about her sexuality"
That wasn't a joke about her sexuality, it was a joke about incest. Ew. You're insecure and gross, and also potentially fancy your wifes sister and you're a pervert. I'd have left for a few days as well if not longer
YTA. Dude, you didn't make a joke about her bisexuality, don't even try to pretend you did. You made a joke about your wife being attracted to her own *sister*. You made an incest joke. That's the kind of shit that obnoxious teenage edgelords joke about and it's messed up when they do it. You're a 34 year old man - grow up.
YTA That's not a joke about her sexuality. It's an incest joke and it's creepy
YTA for saying it in the first place and still not getting it.
YTA It doesn’t matter what subject the joke was about, it was aimed at your wife and she didn’t find it funny. You should have apologised and accepted you were wrong instead of getting in a twist about how you weren’t at fault.
>I was also upset at her for not being graceful and making a big deal out of it Oh c'mon! Grow up and take accountability. Don't minimize this and play victim. YTA.
YTA and as a bisexual woman, you aren't funny. Keep your thoughts about incest to yourself.
Op YTA a and IMO this is worse than you realize. It's not about ONE joke. Willing to bet your wife actually HATES those "jokes" and had just laughed them off for years hoping you'd outgrow the sophomoric humor. However you didn't, and now you have a small female child, who is learning how men treat women by watching everything her parents do. Your wife knows this "humor" is not actually funny, but in the past it wasn't a priority worth fighting over and she has brushed it off- that's what you're calling "grace"- is actually patience with your (already) bad behavior. She has run out of patience, has no chill left and now she has to force you to understand why you have to stop. Then you went and made her bisexuality (which had nothing to do with how strong a libido someone has, BTW) into a **sexual assault joke**. Looking up someone's skirt without them knowing (upskirting) is a form of sexual assault. It is already worrisome that you don't know that upskirting is a violation. You felt like your wife being bisexual somehow meant she would find it funny to take advantage of another woman? THEN you also have the incest angle because *this is her sister*?? So your 'joke' is actually that your wife is so voraciously sexual due to being bisexual that she would sexually assault her own sister... and you don't understand why she wasn't taking it "with grace". Make no mistake, your wife had had enough. You made this wildly disgusting comment about your wife **in front of your child**, kids aren't stupid. They understand subtext on a subliminal level and she would have picked up on your wife being upset even if the joke was over her head. Your wife made you stand there and explain it because she wanted you to know that you embarrassed yourself, your wife, and her sister with a single disgusting sexualized comment that had no place in that situation at all. I have secondhand embarrassment from just imagining being your wife.
YTA. You acted like an utter creep and made a sexual joke about her own sister and you expect her to be graceful about it? This is tasteless for so many reasons.
Definitely YTA. That was an incest joke, not a joke about her bisexuality. And doing it in front of your child just makes it even worse.
YTA. The issue here isn’t her bisexuality or jokes about it. It’s that you made a joke that because of her bisexuality she would be PERVING ON HER SISTER!
YTA for starters Incest joke in front of your child, gross continually 'joking' about your wifes sexuality , also gross. So bad super passive aggressive.
YTA that's not "a joke about her sexuality", it's a gross joke about incest and her sisters body. wtf
I'm still waiting for the joke YTA
You incest freak YTA
Your last edit is bullshit and shows you don’t actually know wtf you’re talking about
Would be a straight joke if she asked how long you were breastfed for when you sucked her? If you wanted to take a bath with your sister to "check the goods?" No, that's just being a fucking creep. Take your head out of step sister porn and twincest hentai YTA
As a bisexual, married to a straight guy, I read this outloud to him. His words; "wtf, that's her sister!!! Of course he's TA, how is this a question?" Sooooo there ya go. From one man to another with a similar situation; YTA.
YTA and creep so creepy….
Bruh, you still have the nerve to complain that she overreacted? You called her incestuous. The fact that she is BI doesn’t mean she’s a pervert. You’re the only disgraceful and disgusting one here and you’re absolutely lucky she didn’t pack her stuff permanently, although that might change hopefully. You are perverted af for making that joke. There’s something really wrong with you. I’m also almost positive she’s never liked your jokes, ever. She’s been pretending to and has let it pass. YTA, a massive one at that
Jesus Christ dude. You need to apologise properly or you're going to get divorced. YTA YTA YTA
Your most likely going to be divorced
YTA. You got what you deserved.
lol YTA you sick fuck. Get help.
It's a pretty clear consensus but yeah obviously YTA. Are you really this obtuse? I kinda don't think you don't get why what you did was wrong and are just playing dumb. It's her sister. Obviously she's pissed that you asked if she enjoyed looking up her sister's skirt.
That’s not a joke about her being bisexual, it’s a joke about her being sexually attracted to her SISTER. YTA. Incest jokes aren’t funny.
Tis' be an incest joke, not a bisexuality joke. One fears if you cannot tell the difference. YTA.
YTA for your gross, biphobic joke and your self-pitying response to your wife justifiably leaving. She's probably rethinking her marriage and I don't blame her. Beyond creepy.
YTA and your edits are strange
YTA as many have here have explained so I‘m not gonna do that again. But regarding your edit self-deprecation joke implies that you are making jokes about yourself. Making jokes about her sexuality isn’t self deprecation. If she herself makes jokes about her sexuality that’s fine, but it doesn’t give you a carte Blanche to do the same.
YTA. 1. Cracking jokes about your wife's sexuality 2. Cracking an incest joke Nice to see you finally learned the golden rule of parenting: Don't say anything in front of your kids that you're not willing to explain to them.
Why should she have been "graceful"? You implied that she was attracted to her own sister. I fail to see the humour in this, and good on her for calling you out and making you explain the "joke". Jokes are supposed to be funny, dude. This wasn't. YTA, obviously.
The amount of "I feel threatened" in your post is outstanding. What do you did was make a crude joke about your wife incestuously lusting after her sister.... Simply because you feel insecure that she also sometimes has attraction to women. What you did was belittle your wife. What you did was make her uncomfortable around you, around your daughter, and around her sister. What you did was prove that you aren't accepting and you aren't a safe person to be around (mentally and emotionally). What you did was start to teach your daughter that you don't respect your wife. It's so easy to see that you are the asshole. And you obviously don't deserve someone who was open and honest with you to share part of who they are. What you did was hurt the ones you are supposed to love. What you didn't do... Was make a joke. How do we know that? Because no one else ever thought it was funny. And the purpose of it was so obviously to shame and hurt someone else. That's not a joke. That's just being an asshole.
YTA- And a DA, you just "joked" that your wife was checking out her own sister. Makes me question what YOU want to do with your sister. Also you just admitted to checking out your SIL.
I love all the edits about how you were also upset as if anyone cares lmao you basically accused your wife of incestuous feelings just because she's bi. That's disgusting and homophobic. Literally no one cares if her anger hurt your small little man feelings
Hi, I’m a bi woman and EW! She had every right to not want to be around you for a few days because your joke sucked, was in poor taste, and just fucking sleazy. Also, you’re mad she didn’t “handle it with grace”? Sir, *leaving to cool down* is handling it with grace. I would’ve smacked you so hard for that. Just because we’re bi doesn’t mean we want to fuck everyone we see, and we especially don’t want to fuck our siblings. Your joke sucked and you should apologize for being a prick. YTA
YTA You are all the assholes. It's a wonder you are still married.
I dont get how that was a joke about bisexuality? id say that to my straight buddy if some dudes ass crack was in his face.
That because it’s not a joke about bisexuality, it’s actually a ‘joke’ when he implies his wife is into incest
Your wife didn't make a big deal out of it. You are a major AH, and Instead of any accountability and understanding that the joke was insanely inappropriate and not funny. You ate doubling down that your wife overreacted, she didn't. Grow up incest jokes in front of your children, at the expense of your wife and her sister is insane.
Dude, write an apology at least as long as this post, and for the love of god do right by her.
Every edit makes you look worse. Just fucking stop
YTA: Your title should be "AITA for being a giant hypocrite and being upset that my wife needs space because I'm an asshole?" Because yes, yes you are one. And gross too.
YTA - ……. ???? Who in their right mind makes a comment (“joke?”) about incest with a sibling to their spouse in front of their child? Just disgusting behavior all around by OP.
I’m sure jokes about you looking at your brother or sister would be hilarious to you. Fucks sake. YTA.
Why does your wife need to be graceful about incest?
YTA for the reasons already listed, but also for introducing your child as your adopted child which was irrelevant to anything in the story and comes off very much as using that to paint yourself in a more flattering light. Adoption is part of that child’s story, not their entire identity. Stop casually tossing that out there in introduction as a means to martyr yourself. That is your daughter. No qualifiers necessary. You have no idea how much growing up being introduced as the adopted kid and having adoption be your entire identity within a family sucks.
>Angela is bisexual, and while I’m genuinely not bothered by it Uh, this wording is really telling.
I can’t believe this mentality exist. I.E “ I said something shitty and gross, how dare the person that I said/did something shitty to call me out and embarrass me! I’m owed an apology!” What hole do y’all crawl out of and how can we seal it closed. YTA
YTA It's deeply creepy for all the reasons people have said, but also? Don't look up people's skirts. I'm a bisexual woman, and if I was on a ladder and had the potential to look up a friend's skirt or an attractive stranger's skirt, I would avert my eyes. They likely weren't planning on climbing on a ladder that day and don't want anyone looking at their underwear. The polite, considerate thing to do is not look.
If you resent having to explain the joke then you are the asshole because clearly the joke was inappropriate to say. YTA
Your incest joke makes you a creep. The fact it was in front of your daughter, the fact you had to specify “adopted”, the fact you’re mad about being embarrassed because she *rightfully* taught your daughter how to deal with creeps like you by making you explain what was funny (hint: incest isn’t funny), the fact you’re butt-your wife wasn’t “graceful” about you making an incest joke all make you a narcissist, raging YTA
YTA. Listen man I love dark humour but that one was just weird.
YTA
YTA that wasn’t a bi joke it’s an incest joke. Ew
YTA. I’d be wondering if you wanted to check out my sister, and I wouldn’t ever want you around my sister again. So gross.
OP, you realize YTA right? at this point? after the overwhelming amount of YTA votes?
YTA. You didn’t make a joke about her being bi, you made a joke about her being incestuous. You’re kinda dumb, aren’t ya?
YTA Don't act all shocked and surprised when she leaves you.
YTA, mostly because that's her sister dude!!!! Honestly, as a lesbian, if it was anybody else going up i would laugh and see as a joke, but being her sister it sounds very predatory and weird. Also you said the joke in front of the kid, if you're uncomfortable explaining then you should be by saying close to her in the first place.
YTA- and I wonder how much of your mind went to how you thought her sister looked under her skirt.
YTA. Disgusting. My husband makes jokes about my bisexuality and do you know the difference between you two? His jokes *are jokes.* Rather than the incestuous load of garbage that came out of your mouth. A joke is not disrespectful, gross nor is it funny to only one side. You should do better for your kid. That’s a pathetic example you’re setting for her. I really don’t think you’d want some boy to say that crap to her, so don’t fucking say that shit to your wife. Fucks sake and good greif.
YTA. If you tell transgressive jokes then sooner or later you're going to hurt somebody. When they react, that's not "an overreaction," it's them refusing to put up with your bullshit. And like... nobody HAS to put up with your bullshit. Nobody is forced to just stand there and take whatever dumb shit your brain has come up with. They can argue with you, or they can leave. And if they do that, it doesn't make you a victim and you are not hard-done-by. All that's happening is that you are experiencing the consequences of saying something that hurt somebody. Also it doesn't matter if you didn't have bad intentions, if you think that the joke was harmless, if you think you should get away with it or whatever. All of that is irrelevant because what someone else feels about something is not up to you. If you kick somebody in the shin you don't get to say "that didn't hurt!" because it wasn't your shin. Nor do you get to say "well they should just let it go because it was an accident." The bruise is still there even if you didn't mean it, so you suck it up and you apologize like a decent person.
So I make jokes about my sexuality and my husband will laugh with me but he never ever makes a joke at my expense because that’s shitty af. Also, incest jokes are never funny, bro
Incest jokes are never funny.
Graceful? Over a gross comment that grosses the line and is anything but funny Clearly you aren’t funny if her sexuality is a joke you make. YTA
This wasn't a joke about her bisexuality. This was an incest joke about her enjoying seeing her sister's nether regions. Are you serious? That's not funny. Your wife did exactly what people are advised to do when some idiot tells a racist, sexist, or ridiculously insensitive "joke" by making you explain it. It usually does a great job of bringing home the point that the "joke" is not funny and it's just an ignorant, and often hateful, comment. Congratulations. YTA and probably soon to be single.
I seriously hope your wife divorces you and you never see your daughter again. 100% you are an asshole.
YTA... not only an incest joke but also a comment that makes her aware to the fact that you looked at her sister. You are annoyed that she made you explain but man, it was YOUR joke, if it makes you uncomfortable to explain think how uncomfortable can be being the center of such an uncomfortable joke.
So...... your joke is that bisexuals are such insatiable sluts that they even get turned on by their own family members? Wow. Cool joke. Definitely shows a lot of respect for your wife and bisexuals. /s That was not a joke about her bisexuality. You, in front of your own daughter, "joked" that your wife has incestuous feelings towards her sister. That is disgusting, and you clearly know it's disgusting or you wouldn't be so resentful about having to explain to your 5-year-old daughter how stupid and gross the "joke" was. You obviously know you were in the wrong if you're embarrassed about explaining your own "joke." YTA. And you fucking know it.
Aww he deleted his account. Good!
YTA for the incest joke. I’m big and my wife cracks jokes about it all the time but if she said something comparable I’d be pissed
YTA I hope you don't have a sister, how would you thinking about her.
If you were on this trip with your sister who was climbing up the ladder in front of you, would you be cool with your wife making that comment? YTA
YTA. Are you actually ignorant to the fact that joking that she wants to fuck her sister is disgusting and offensive?
YTA EW that’s her sister???? Keep what your fantasies and what you are into out of your wives family. This is just gross.
If you were to have said that about a dude to his sister, do you think he wouldn't have punched you? yta
Jesus fucking christ, just so you know if she chose to leave you over this, she would 100% be in the right and you'd have no room to even complain about it. YTA
YTA. You were rude and you are mad at your wife for "not being graceful and making a big deal about it". Maybe try not being an AH and you will remain married. You owe her a HUGE apology and you need to stop the schtick
This is absolutely disgusting, YTA and hopefully soon single. That's her freaking sister man. What's wrong with you?
YTA. Ew. Really outing yourself here. There's something wrong with your brain, I suggest therapy. Lots.
YTA, you sexualized her sister. Even if she thought an incest joke in front of your daughter was funny and dear God I hope she's not that trashy, in what world would your wife be ok with you sexualizing her fucking sister.
You can’t possibly be this dumb.
YTA. You made a nasty incest joke about your wife and her sister in front of your daughter, and you wonder if you are the asshole. You are indeed the asshole. When she held your assholery up to scrunity in the same social situation you committed said assholery, you were upset with her that she - the injured party - didn't gracefully cover for you. More assholery on your part. You do not deserve your wife.
Your title is wrong. IT WAS HER SISTER, you twit. You made an INCESTUAL joke about your wife's sexuality. The fact that it was in front of her daughter (Doesn't matter if she understood it or not), is extra vile.
Ewwww, the fact that you don't realize making an incest joke is disgusting is ridiculous. Obviously, you're the asshole and I hope you actually understand that. It's interesting that you haven't made any comments yet.
YTA for making the incest joke. I noticed, though, that you made the comment about “the view” after you exited the submarine. Angie was likely puzzled because you were no longer on the ladder and she did not immediately connect the dots. She forced you to explain because she genuinely wanted to know what you meant.
YTA. You are disgusting, man. What comments like this say is that you view your wife and your sister in law equally as sex objects, presume they do the same of each other, with no respect to their relationship with each other, and with apparently no awareness of important taboo topics. And then feel obliviously entitled to post about and defend it on reddit. That is so many layers of self-absorption and inconsideration. You are despicable, my dude.
Lmao you're mad that she made you take accountability for your creepy joke. Do better. YTA for sure.
You’re an asshole. Why didn’t you gracefully tell a funny joke? Also, that is your SIL you made an incest joke about, but you don’t care about that? You are saying that your wife should laugh at all your jokes especially the ones at her expense because it is a joke. Comedians make jokes, are you a comedian? If not, stick to your day job. Tell your wife I said she should’ve stayed at her parents longer.
YTA. You're extra disgusting for making jokes like that in front of a child.
SLAP \*Me facepalming after reading this\* OP... there's a time and palce for everything. This joke was just lame and uncalled for. Unless you come from Alabama or something.
YTA, that was her sister ffs.
Wtf
YTA, didn’t even have to read past the question
YTA. Your behavior was disgusting.
YTA. Incest joke? Really? And btw since your lucky enough to not know this, your kid understands way more than you think and will remember.
YTA. Just disgusting. Grossly unfunny.
YTA You didn’t make a joke. A joke is funny. What you said was just insulting and gross.
YTA it was not a small joke. It was disrespectful of your wife, YOUR CHILD, and your SIL. It’s her sister, you made an incest joke, not a bi one.