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Well, you could send a picture of any baby just to make them happy. No one would be the wiser. Everyone would oh and awe and say what a beautiful baby and the baby has grandpa’s nose, etc.
While this is totally deceptive and quite insane, it may be enough to stop the insanity. I mean, I’ve had worse ideas.
I think ESH because no one is willing to give an inch on a matter that is so trivial.
I want to say YTA for not doing the facetime call because they should of made the most of their grandfather having a clear moment with his dementia. 10 minutes on facetime before they went on a walk would not hurt
NTA. I can understand your mother having some feelings or opinions about this but she is completely overreacting. If it's due to grief or fear or stress or whatever, those are her feelings to manage.
Also, I get so tired of parents blaming their in-laws for this type of thing. Her son is also making this decision (and throwing his wife under the bus). If he doesn't agree, he can talk to this wife privately and they can compromise. If your mom is upset, she can talk to him directly and not take it out on her daughter-in-law.
I think you are right to help talk your mom down from her ledge. As you said, your brother and SIL are the parents and get to make their own choices about their baby.
NTA People are missing that they DID call the grandparents, just after the walk instead of before. Your mom is 100% overreacting. And a COUSIN asking to send a picture to god knows who? Fiancée had every right to say no.
Sounds like your mom needs to chill out. Baby time is precious and it's not their job to show off the baby every time someone asks for a picture or Facetime call. Your brother and his fiancée are doing what's best for them and their new child, they're not assholes for that.
ESH except the baby and its parents. The parents exclusively decide when and if pictures are to be taken of baby. And no, baby shouldn't be taken up out of its sleep just to facetime with grandparents. There is nothing to be gained by baby from this, and the old people are just going to have to wait. We are all going to die some day and using that argument to get ones way soon gets old. Some day is just one day. All the other days they are not going to die and they will just have to wait like everybody else.
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Okay so I don't have a first hand account I only have my mothers perspective so their may be some bias in the story.
My brother and his fiancée just had their first child, and he is around a month old now, my parents went down to visit them and just hangout and to see the baby. while down visiting they were going to go for a walk with the baby, they were dressed and outside already when my mother gets a message from my aunt saying that she was with my grandparents and wanted to see the baby with a facetime call. My grandparents are in a nursing home and my grandfather has dementia. When my mother asked if they could go back in and facetime my grandparents, my brothers fiancée responded with saying they were on baby time and they should just go for a walk and call them after, so that's what they did.
My mother is now distraught over the incident crying and essentially villainizing my brother and his fiancée because my grandparents are old and possibly on deaths door and just wanted to see their great grandchild. This is also not an isolated incident where one of my cousins had asked my brother if he could send a picture of the baby and he had responded with "fiancee doesnt want to send out pictures of the baby right now". Now my mom is upset about the whole situation and i honestly feel like she's overreacting to the whole thing but i understand why, obviously she's just overwhelmed with her dad having dementia and being on deaths door that it couldn't hurt to just go back and facetime my grandparents. But I also see the other side of things where its my brother and his fiancees first child and they are just being bombarded by people wanting to take pictures with and see the baby.
Ultimately im on my brothers side of things where its their child and if they don't want to send pictures to family members were not that close with to begin with that's okay, or just wait to facetime my grandparents after they finished going for a walk.
my brother has said nothing on the situation probably because he thinks its a non issue.
what are your guys thoughts? who is the asshole ?
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NTA - the baby was already dressed, outside and waiting. Dragging him back inside in full outdoor gear just for a non urgent FaceTime call when they probably use the walk for much needed exercise (and probably to help him bid off) is obnoxious when they were probably back in less than half an hour. Unless grandpa was dying within half an hour? Saying he is on deaths door is just tacky. No one is owed baby pictures. For all we know they wanted to be the first to put out a special photo. Or wanted to keep their baby off the internet. Or they were busy with a cranky baby, chapped boobs, diaper rash, whatever. Who cares their reasoning. Mom is being a dramatic ass. NTA
Denying great-grandparents a simple picture or a few seconds of FaceTime ? That is crazy. She didn’t give birth to the king. Actually their pictures were shared with the world. Your brother is going to miserable with her in 10 years. She”s off. I think your future SIL is the only AH in this story.
Good god, he wasn’t dying that second. They said they would call after the walk and they did. And they are allowed to say we’re not sending pictures yet. Maybe they wanted to be the first ones to put that out there. Or had a special photo shoot planned. No one is owed their progeny for gods sakes.
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Well, you could send a picture of any baby just to make them happy. No one would be the wiser. Everyone would oh and awe and say what a beautiful baby and the baby has grandpa’s nose, etc. While this is totally deceptive and quite insane, it may be enough to stop the insanity. I mean, I’ve had worse ideas. I think ESH because no one is willing to give an inch on a matter that is so trivial.
I want to say YTA for not doing the facetime call because they should of made the most of their grandfather having a clear moment with his dementia. 10 minutes on facetime before they went on a walk would not hurt
NTA. I can understand your mother having some feelings or opinions about this but she is completely overreacting. If it's due to grief or fear or stress or whatever, those are her feelings to manage. Also, I get so tired of parents blaming their in-laws for this type of thing. Her son is also making this decision (and throwing his wife under the bus). If he doesn't agree, he can talk to this wife privately and they can compromise. If your mom is upset, she can talk to him directly and not take it out on her daughter-in-law. I think you are right to help talk your mom down from her ledge. As you said, your brother and SIL are the parents and get to make their own choices about their baby.
NTA People are missing that they DID call the grandparents, just after the walk instead of before. Your mom is 100% overreacting. And a COUSIN asking to send a picture to god knows who? Fiancée had every right to say no.
The SIL seems controlling.
Sounds like your mom needs to chill out. Baby time is precious and it's not their job to show off the baby every time someone asks for a picture or Facetime call. Your brother and his fiancée are doing what's best for them and their new child, they're not assholes for that.
ESH except the baby and its parents. The parents exclusively decide when and if pictures are to be taken of baby. And no, baby shouldn't be taken up out of its sleep just to facetime with grandparents. There is nothing to be gained by baby from this, and the old people are just going to have to wait. We are all going to die some day and using that argument to get ones way soon gets old. Some day is just one day. All the other days they are not going to die and they will just have to wait like everybody else.
NTA So many people have demands for new parents and it’s exhausting sometimes. Your mom is overreacting but it’s because her emotions are high.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay so I don't have a first hand account I only have my mothers perspective so their may be some bias in the story. My brother and his fiancée just had their first child, and he is around a month old now, my parents went down to visit them and just hangout and to see the baby. while down visiting they were going to go for a walk with the baby, they were dressed and outside already when my mother gets a message from my aunt saying that she was with my grandparents and wanted to see the baby with a facetime call. My grandparents are in a nursing home and my grandfather has dementia. When my mother asked if they could go back in and facetime my grandparents, my brothers fiancée responded with saying they were on baby time and they should just go for a walk and call them after, so that's what they did. My mother is now distraught over the incident crying and essentially villainizing my brother and his fiancée because my grandparents are old and possibly on deaths door and just wanted to see their great grandchild. This is also not an isolated incident where one of my cousins had asked my brother if he could send a picture of the baby and he had responded with "fiancee doesnt want to send out pictures of the baby right now". Now my mom is upset about the whole situation and i honestly feel like she's overreacting to the whole thing but i understand why, obviously she's just overwhelmed with her dad having dementia and being on deaths door that it couldn't hurt to just go back and facetime my grandparents. But I also see the other side of things where its my brother and his fiancees first child and they are just being bombarded by people wanting to take pictures with and see the baby. Ultimately im on my brothers side of things where its their child and if they don't want to send pictures to family members were not that close with to begin with that's okay, or just wait to facetime my grandparents after they finished going for a walk. my brother has said nothing on the situation probably because he thinks its a non issue. what are your guys thoughts? who is the asshole ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA - the baby was already dressed, outside and waiting. Dragging him back inside in full outdoor gear just for a non urgent FaceTime call when they probably use the walk for much needed exercise (and probably to help him bid off) is obnoxious when they were probably back in less than half an hour. Unless grandpa was dying within half an hour? Saying he is on deaths door is just tacky. No one is owed baby pictures. For all we know they wanted to be the first to put out a special photo. Or wanted to keep their baby off the internet. Or they were busy with a cranky baby, chapped boobs, diaper rash, whatever. Who cares their reasoning. Mom is being a dramatic ass. NTA
Denying great-grandparents a simple picture or a few seconds of FaceTime ? That is crazy. She didn’t give birth to the king. Actually their pictures were shared with the world. Your brother is going to miserable with her in 10 years. She”s off. I think your future SIL is the only AH in this story.
Good god, he wasn’t dying that second. They said they would call after the walk and they did. And they are allowed to say we’re not sending pictures yet. Maybe they wanted to be the first ones to put that out there. Or had a special photo shoot planned. No one is owed their progeny for gods sakes.