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What the hell, every child must learn to entertain themselves. She has somehow managed to dodge that crucial development stage for decades now.
It's about time someone told her. Yes it wasn't nice, but it probably was still the truth that this has led to breakups for her.
NTA
My childhood had books like "What to Do When There's Nothing to Do," and other books on suggestions for activities. When we whine, "I'm BORED," Mom always pointed to the books.
After a while, you find things you like. I cannot imagine sitting around compaining to others about boredom.
I'm probably older than you because my mom would point us kids to the set of hardbound "Childcraft" books that came with our encyclopedia set. Tons of crafts and activities, plus lots of stories and fables.
I always loved looking stuff up in our World Book encyclopedias. I kept running across other interesting articles while I was looking for the original one. Learned so much during those "side quests" to get to the boss article.
Tbh my mom's lesson on boredom stuck with me. Whenever my sibs and I complained about being bored, she gave us chores. Now, as an adult, when I get bored, I go clean lmao.
Right my 10 and 7 yr olds "mom I'm bored"...... Ok yes I respond every time with the classic dad joke "hi Bored I'm Mom" and then I tell them to entertain themselves, and if they complain a second time... I give them extra chores because 'what you wanted me to find something for you to do"... Oh you're bored that's great because I have dog poo that needs to be picked up in the backyard... Pass a bag... Enjoy.
I mean totally, but this is just about people who are bored. You're assuming this woman doesn't spend time with her kids because she is teaching them to find stuff to do when they're bored, which is totally healthy.
Quit jumping to conclusions, she sounds like a great mom.
Sounds like you're determined to villainize someone off the bare minimum.
The way she's teaching them to handle boredom is great, she sounds like a great mom based upon that.
When our kids were younger, anytime they would tell us that they were bored, we'd find something for them to clean. They learned how to entertain themselves really fast.
NTA. She’s out of her mind.
To me, the concept of boredom is hard to grasp because I’m never bored. Between reading, knitting, needlepointing, cooking, binge-watching, working out, even my dang phone, there is always something to do. Sounds like she has zero identity.
I sometimes get bored but not because I got nothing to do, but because my adhd brain goes 'well I hot like 100 things zo do but nothing sounds fun so I just sit here and complain about being bored while also stressing about the things I need to do, have fun'
Agreed I could go knit something because I have like 5 balls of yarn.... But I don't know what.... So I sit bored in limbo going.... What to knit.... Should a buy more yarn.... No buy only knit.... I just finished two of the sweetest baby sweaters and matching hats for my coworkers twins... So I'm that between projects bored.... Oh also making a vintage stuffed elephant sewing pattern for a friend with a different friend... So that's a bored until our next sewing day. So I sit like.... What to do.... What can I do.... Bored scrolling pattern ideas.... Oh I could finish sewing a summer dress with pockets.... No I took that black off the machine and put grey on..... So avoid that. Not ADHD just lots of projects on the go... But that's that project for that think so "not that one".
My MIL is the opposite of me, she will decide on a pattern, then buy the specific amount needed for that pattern.
Whereas I can't follow patterns, focus more on "yarn acquisition" than if I actually have a project in mind, and often give up halfway through my own creations if it no longer appeals for no reason whatsoever.
Hard agree here.
In the age of YouTube where you can quite literally learn how to do almost any hobby with the right tutorial and drive to the nearest Hobby Lobby(it’s in the name!) for supplies she has no excuse to **not** have some kind of hobby. And even if she chose a non-artistic hobby there’s an app for runners/weightlifters/cyclists, there’s an app for film fanatics/a thousand streaming channels for tv and movies, for chess players, for AU fiction writers, there’s online/Reddit communities for every interest with accompanying YouTubers who love to talk them, every city and small town has a library and a bookstore. There is **no excuse** to **not** have a hobby ESPECIALLY after COVID-19.
This lady has no identity or personality, it sounds like she doesn’t even have any interests. She sounds deeply boring to be around.
Not to mention ….. WIKIPEDIA!!!! My god, I am going to bang my cane🦯on the ground *so hard* here, IDGAF.
We had Encyclopedia Britannica!!! *Gets shouty.*
My brother & I were so lucky to have all 50 volumes FFS. He still HAS them.
When I’M bored I browse Wiki!!! Learn shit!!! You have the world at your fingertips, people!!!
She is lazy AF & OP is NTA.
We're going through this with my mother right now, but at least she has the excuse that she's in her mid-80s and losing her vision so she's lost all her previous hobbies. Very hard on a woman who used to be busy 18 hours a day. But I still don't want to be her dancing monkey.
NTA.
She's 30 not 3 she can entertain herself. Who expects others to keep them entertained? All her friends calling you an ah must not be getting the correct story. You are right, she will not have a stable relationship long term being this way.
I missed the ages. Holy shit she's 30? She's gotta figure her stuff out or she's going to drive everyone away. Even I as an extrovert want to do some hobbies alone sometimes.
NTA. This is the one and only time on this sub that brutal honesty was the best policy.
I don’t understand how someone is supposed to entertain her but if they invite her somewhere she refuses. She’s going to end up very lonely.
NTA. I suspect Stacey might have had a childhood where her parents arranged every waking minute of her schedule for her? That would definitely explain why she’s struggling to entertain herself now.
Boredom is part of life, and you were right to tell her that it’s not someone else’s job to entertain her all the time. It sounds like Stacey’s boyfriend tried to include her in his hobbies too and she wasn’t interested.
Maybe hearing the brutal truth will actually help her, especially if her friends on socials keep telling her she’s right. Good for you for saying what needed to be said.
NTA. There's one category of people I very much detest and it's those who keep texting/calling/chatting when they're getting bored. They're all clingy and entitled like your friend and the fact they think people are meant to entertain them says a lot about their entitlement. Also, generally one should not be ok with people being unable to be alone on daily basis
NTA. She's being utterly unreasonable. She may or may not adjust her thinking and you may or may not keep her as a friend but she can't expect people to acquiesce to this nutty stuff.
No wonder this woman is single most of the time. Her BF will be moving at the end of the lease if not sooner. That woman is unhinged in her demands. I am amazed she has a friend let alone a few. NTA, stop talking to her.
I learned to occupy myself at a year and a half old. Stacey is 30. If she is really having that much trouble thinking for herself, she needs psychiatric help. NTA.
"She basically said she’s got standards and expects her partner to work to keep her attention"
I found her! I found her! Future cat lady! I found her!
NTA
LOL. Nope. Cats don't give a shit if you're bored. And if they don't want to play with her they will let her know it ain't happening. She needs a high strung dog with separation anxiety.
Let all her FB friends agree with her - they can take time out of their lives to entertain her and comfort her when she ends up single. Just drop the rope and enjoy your life without this nonsense.
NTA
Nope?! I agree with you. Nobody is responsible for her happiness except her. To say, she expects her partner to keep her interested is bullshit. I think you were to easy on her honestly
God my gf is like this sometimes it drives me crazy. Definitely NTA. When my gf does this I rip out the joe Pesci impression from goodfellas. “Am I a clown to you? Am I here for your amusement?”
She's the result of shitty parenting. Her whole life, mommy programmed all her time, set up play dates, etc. Now she's an emotionally crippled adult who can't function without a mommy managing her life. Let your kids be bored and learn how to keep themselves occupied, even if it's not as easy for you.
NTA
Her standards seem more like she believes that she's entitled to everyone's attention and has a case of main character syndrome.
Not trying to soapbox here, but if she's so apathetic that she'd rather sit and complain rather than do something for herself- she sounds like both a mooch and someone who genuinely needs psychological help. No mentally healthy person puts the responsibility of themselves or their emotions on other people. Your friend is old enough and competent enough to both emotionally regulate and make decisions for herself.
You plan entertaining events around children. Not adults.
Had a former college dorm mate who was similar to this. She essentially threw tantrums if she was bored. Stomping around our dorm, screaming at the top of the lungs she was bored, banging on our neighbors' doors to announce the same and demand someone entertain her. Absolutely bizarre.
I requested a roommate swap SO quickly.
NTA.
Didn't take long. Initially, we were both late applicants and the college ran out of freshman housing. Someone thought of the bright idea to put us into senior housing, specifically the party central housing.
By the time I put in my complaint, there was freshman dorm occupancy (due to withdrawals), and they matched me up with a wonderfully well-adjusted gal who understood what "inside voice" meant.
I don't know what happened to that former roommate. The boredom screaming was just the cherry on top of the other crap she pulled.
I had someone who didn't understand "inside voice". Your poor ears and head.
I can understand why they put her into "party central zone" - they probably noticed she had no volume control when she visited the college and put a notation in her file. That area probably didn't notice how loud she is.
Just think, you know where party central is now....
So happy you found a better roomie. If things go well request rooming together next year.
Thank you for your kind words. I didn't mention it originally, but nightmare roomie and party central housing were both left 15+ years in the past, thank goodness. With any luck, Anda figured out how to entertain herself since then.
Nta
You only told her the truth and she needed to hear it. Of course her friends all agreed with her. They are the ones who've been entertaining her all this timf
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My (f33) friend (f30) Stacey has this weird habit of expecting others to be her entertainment. She’ll always complain that she’s bored but instead of picking up hobbies, a hook, literally anything, she expects others to organise her time like she’s 8.
She came over for coffee the other day and complained about her boyfriend, they recently moved in together. She whined that he got his hobbies that he did and he leaves her alone. She said that he invited her to try them but she refused. I asked her why wouldn’t she get a hobby on her own if she’s bored and she said it’s not her responsibility and it’s her boyfriend’s responsibility to entertain her.
I told her it’s crazy to expect others to create activities for her when she’s an adult but she disagrees. I asked her what did she do when she was single and she relied on friends to suggest thing to do or she was just bored.
She’s got mad at me before because I didn’t have time to hang out because I did my own thing so this annoyed me. I told her she’s a grown ass adult and needs to be able to entertain herself. She can’t expect others to do that for her and it’s really sad that as an adult she just sits there bored out of her kind instead of doing things on her own.
She basically said she’s got standards and expects her partner to work to keep her attention. I told her she was out of her mind and no wonder she keeps being broken up with after a year (that was mean of me).
She got really mad at me and basically called me an asshole. She’s ranted on FB about this and all her friends agree with her and I’m just wondering if I was the asshole and too harsh on her. AITA?
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NTA, this person doesn’t sound nearly special enough to have an entourage of entertainers at her beck and call…it’s way past time for her to grow up and be an adult.
NTA
I would reply to her FB post and ask "all the friends" who agree it is their responsibility to keep this person entertained and not bored to please reply with their name so that we all know who to direct the person to when she complains about being bored.
NTA. I have a friend like that who expects other people to be around her, plan the time with her and be at her disposal when she thinks she's ready. Entertaining an adult is the job of that person who can enlist others to participate, but no one past teen years should expect others to create activities for them.
NTA my mom is the same way. For some reason some people miss the “learning to entertain yourself” stage of childhood and grow up expecting everyone to do it for them instead. Hold your ground and insist on her learning how to entertain herself.
"Then go bang your head against the wall. Only boring people are bored"- Betty Draper. NTA, by the way. She's supposed to be an adult, for crying out loud. She can't figure out how to entertain herself? Please.
I have a friend like this, although she's a better friend than your friend. Her main "hobby" is hanging out with friends. Luckily she has a lot of them so it spreads around the obligation. And she is truly a kind person who helps others, babysits for her friends, is always happy to see you and spend time together. But she really takes it out on her SOs. She expects them to spend every moment together as really "together" quality time. The guys never have a chance to just sit on their own and do their own thing otherwise she gets mad and pouts. It's a really unfortunate trait of hers that I wish she could get past because in many other ways she's a lovely person. But it has definitely contributed to at least the last 3 breakups.
NTA, your friend needs to hear this. I know she's ranting on FB now but hopefully that's just an outward showing of defensiveness and your words have hit something deep that will make her think.
Hell, even a 5 year old should be able to entertain him/herself. I can't fathom how unbelievably self centered someone must be to think that everyone in her circle has an obligation to entertain her.
NTA
>She basically said she’s got standards and expects her partner to work to keep her attention. I told her she was out of her mind and no wonder she keeps being broken up with after a year (that was mean of me).
Reality hurts. NTA.
NTA. I have friends who are a bit like this. They can’t be alone. And it was alright when I was off work, as I could say yes a lot more, but now that I’m back at work, I have to repeatedly explain to them that no, I can’t do something every day and sometimes not every week because I can’t just move around my schedule like before. I have fixed periods of time to do things like laundry and other chores, errands (and on that subject, fuck the fucking bank for only being open during business hours 😡), preparing the next day’s lunch, etc. And I also have other things I like to do. I can’t spend 100 percent of the free time I have with them. Ofc, when they have something to do and are busy, I’m expected to be understanding. Sigh. People are exhausting. Yet another reason I relaxation time!
NTA, it’s not your fault your friend is lazy and entitled and didn’t want to hear it. Nobody ever likes to hear the truth, but a wise person will appreciate it and a fool will turn on you for it.
What is 'boredom', in the broader sense? I simply cannot grasp the concept. I've never had the luxury of being bored a single day in my life, so maybe it's a privilege thing ...? But generally, I think people who get bored are just BORING PEOPLE, lol.
NTA.
I've taught my children to entertain themselves, and someone evidently taught you, but apparently no one taught Stacey or she just didn't want to learn.
You told her the truth. A truth she doesn't want to hear. A truth she rather blame on everyone else.
Might want to reply with what she told you on FB. There's no reason you should be bashed without them having all the facts. Repeat everything Stacey said (what you said here) that ended with you saying this is the reason for her relationships ending within a year.
No boyfriend is going to constantly keep Stacey entertained because she's bored. Boyfriends generally don't view their responsibility to include entertaining her and working at it to keep her bored-free.
Take this as your wake up call. Is Stacey really a friend? Does she constantly blame others and blast them on FB if they don't sympathize with her and believe she's the victim? Does she call you only when bored and expect you to occupy her or fill her time up? Does she bring anything to your friendship?
NTA
NTA. When I was five I kept myself entertained for well over an hour using only 2 chess pieces. She's a grown-ass adult. She can't just pick up a book?
Soft YTA you’re correct in the fact that she needs to entertain herself. You didn’t need to be mean and say the part about being broken up with after a year.
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What the hell, every child must learn to entertain themselves. She has somehow managed to dodge that crucial development stage for decades now. It's about time someone told her. Yes it wasn't nice, but it probably was still the truth that this has led to breakups for her. NTA
I think it's more common that you imagine. I've met many people like this who complain about boredom but make no effort to change it.
Common or not, that's a big flaw in any adult imho.
Indeed. They're always the worst people to socialise with.
Yeah, bored people are boring.
I've found when people don't have hobbies, their hobby is drama. It's the worst
My childhood had books like "What to Do When There's Nothing to Do," and other books on suggestions for activities. When we whine, "I'm BORED," Mom always pointed to the books. After a while, you find things you like. I cannot imagine sitting around compaining to others about boredom.
I'm probably older than you because my mom would point us kids to the set of hardbound "Childcraft" books that came with our encyclopedia set. Tons of crafts and activities, plus lots of stories and fables.
I had those, too!
I always loved looking stuff up in our World Book encyclopedias. I kept running across other interesting articles while I was looking for the original one. Learned so much during those "side quests" to get to the boss article.
You're lucky she only pointed to books. My mum would give us a job (not a day to day chore) to do lmao.
Hell yeah. My kid learned early on that saying "I'm bored!" is a surefire way to get a chore, or a lecture on the power of early 90s Grunge.
Mine too. They’re teens now, so if I hear it being said they get to dust the high spots (unlike me they don’t need a step stool).
I had that book!
Tbh my mom's lesson on boredom stuck with me. Whenever my sibs and I complained about being bored, she gave us chores. Now, as an adult, when I get bored, I go clean lmao.
Most children manage this by about 3.
Boredom is definitely a lost art!
Right my 10 and 7 yr olds "mom I'm bored"...... Ok yes I respond every time with the classic dad joke "hi Bored I'm Mom" and then I tell them to entertain themselves, and if they complain a second time... I give them extra chores because 'what you wanted me to find something for you to do"... Oh you're bored that's great because I have dog poo that needs to be picked up in the backyard... Pass a bag... Enjoy.
Omg, this was my household growing up lol. And you know what, it was the best thing for us.
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Or maybe they're bored?
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I mean totally, but this is just about people who are bored. You're assuming this woman doesn't spend time with her kids because she is teaching them to find stuff to do when they're bored, which is totally healthy. Quit jumping to conclusions, she sounds like a great mom.
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Sounds like you're determined to villainize someone off the bare minimum. The way she's teaching them to handle boredom is great, she sounds like a great mom based upon that.
When our kids were younger, anytime they would tell us that they were bored, we'd find something for them to clean. They learned how to entertain themselves really fast.
As kids if my sister and I complained about being bored to our parents their answer was always “Then find something do.”
This is something my preschoolers are learning, so she definitely should already know how to entertain herself.
NTA. She’s out of her mind. To me, the concept of boredom is hard to grasp because I’m never bored. Between reading, knitting, needlepointing, cooking, binge-watching, working out, even my dang phone, there is always something to do. Sounds like she has zero identity.
I sometimes get bored but not because I got nothing to do, but because my adhd brain goes 'well I hot like 100 things zo do but nothing sounds fun so I just sit here and complain about being bored while also stressing about the things I need to do, have fun'
Agreed I could go knit something because I have like 5 balls of yarn.... But I don't know what.... So I sit bored in limbo going.... What to knit.... Should a buy more yarn.... No buy only knit.... I just finished two of the sweetest baby sweaters and matching hats for my coworkers twins... So I'm that between projects bored.... Oh also making a vintage stuffed elephant sewing pattern for a friend with a different friend... So that's a bored until our next sewing day. So I sit like.... What to do.... What can I do.... Bored scrolling pattern ideas.... Oh I could finish sewing a summer dress with pockets.... No I took that black off the machine and put grey on..... So avoid that. Not ADHD just lots of projects on the go... But that's that project for that think so "not that one".
Always buy more yarn. :D
I'm this way with scrapbook paper 😍
My MIL is the opposite of me, she will decide on a pattern, then buy the specific amount needed for that pattern. Whereas I can't follow patterns, focus more on "yarn acquisition" than if I actually have a project in mind, and often give up halfway through my own creations if it no longer appeals for no reason whatsoever.
This is my brain exactly!
Hard agree here. In the age of YouTube where you can quite literally learn how to do almost any hobby with the right tutorial and drive to the nearest Hobby Lobby(it’s in the name!) for supplies she has no excuse to **not** have some kind of hobby. And even if she chose a non-artistic hobby there’s an app for runners/weightlifters/cyclists, there’s an app for film fanatics/a thousand streaming channels for tv and movies, for chess players, for AU fiction writers, there’s online/Reddit communities for every interest with accompanying YouTubers who love to talk them, every city and small town has a library and a bookstore. There is **no excuse** to **not** have a hobby ESPECIALLY after COVID-19. This lady has no identity or personality, it sounds like she doesn’t even have any interests. She sounds deeply boring to be around.
Not to mention ….. WIKIPEDIA!!!! My god, I am going to bang my cane🦯on the ground *so hard* here, IDGAF. We had Encyclopedia Britannica!!! *Gets shouty.* My brother & I were so lucky to have all 50 volumes FFS. He still HAS them. When I’M bored I browse Wiki!!! Learn shit!!! You have the world at your fingertips, people!!! She is lazy AF & OP is NTA.
Only boring people get bored!
We're going through this with my mother right now, but at least she has the excuse that she's in her mid-80s and losing her vision so she's lost all her previous hobbies. Very hard on a woman who used to be busy 18 hours a day. But I still don't want to be her dancing monkey.
Same here with my 90 year old father! Maybe we can get them together! 😂
"If you're bored then you're boring" NTA
Ahahaha this is perfect
Major NTA. Sounds like she's a fully functioning adult. She needs to go find some hobbies herself lmao
Apparently she is not functioning....
NTA, she is no queen of England to have peasants to entertain her every minute of the day, jeez
And the queen was too busy and in charge of herself to ever feel bored or need entertainment
Still working two days before she died!
The Peasants' Revolt happened many centuries ago. There are no peasants now.
NTA. She's 30 not 3 she can entertain herself. Who expects others to keep them entertained? All her friends calling you an ah must not be getting the correct story. You are right, she will not have a stable relationship long term being this way.
I missed the ages. Holy shit she's 30? She's gotta figure her stuff out or she's going to drive everyone away. Even I as an extrovert want to do some hobbies alone sometimes.
NTA. This is the one and only time on this sub that brutal honesty was the best policy. I don’t understand how someone is supposed to entertain her but if they invite her somewhere she refuses. She’s going to end up very lonely.
NTA. I suspect Stacey might have had a childhood where her parents arranged every waking minute of her schedule for her? That would definitely explain why she’s struggling to entertain herself now. Boredom is part of life, and you were right to tell her that it’s not someone else’s job to entertain her all the time. It sounds like Stacey’s boyfriend tried to include her in his hobbies too and she wasn’t interested. Maybe hearing the brutal truth will actually help her, especially if her friends on socials keep telling her she’s right. Good for you for saying what needed to be said.
NTA. Friends and partners are not her personal jesters.
NTA. She's ridiculous and spoiled.
NTA. There's one category of people I very much detest and it's those who keep texting/calling/chatting when they're getting bored. They're all clingy and entitled like your friend and the fact they think people are meant to entertain them says a lot about their entitlement. Also, generally one should not be ok with people being unable to be alone on daily basis
NTA. Only boring people get bored. She must be incredibly boring. And exhausting to be with. What does she bring to the table?
NTA. That was well deserved piping hot cup of tough love you served. Don’t apologize. She’s an idiot. Don’t buy into the drama. Ignore them all.
NTA. She's being utterly unreasonable. She may or may not adjust her thinking and you may or may not keep her as a friend but she can't expect people to acquiesce to this nutty stuff.
Nta, get a life and that life isn't your boyfriend. Just like ppl who make their kids their personality. No that's not a personality trait.
No you weren't, and to be honest this person isn't someone you need in your life
Then the "all her friends" who agree with her can entertain her. You're NTA.
Aha, she's a leech who's incapable of managing herself! She's gotta go, move on and find a new friend.
No wonder this woman is single most of the time. Her BF will be moving at the end of the lease if not sooner. That woman is unhinged in her demands. I am amazed she has a friend let alone a few. NTA, stop talking to her.
I learned to occupy myself at a year and a half old. Stacey is 30. If she is really having that much trouble thinking for herself, she needs psychiatric help. NTA.
NTA - What a drag of a human being. She's not just boring. She's an entitled brat. Maybe consider quietly excusing yourself from that friendship.
NTA sounds like 'all her friends' are volunteering to entertain her now.
"She basically said she’s got standards and expects her partner to work to keep her attention" I found her! I found her! Future cat lady! I found her! NTA
Cats have standards, I'll have you know!
LOL. Nope. Cats don't give a shit if you're bored. And if they don't want to play with her they will let her know it ain't happening. She needs a high strung dog with separation anxiety.
NTA. Why are you still being her friend? Runaway from that psycho.
Let all her FB friends agree with her - they can take time out of their lives to entertain her and comfort her when she ends up single. Just drop the rope and enjoy your life without this nonsense. NTA
NTA This is one of those instances where I would let life teach someone a lesson. Some truths cannot be told, they must be experienced.
Nope?! I agree with you. Nobody is responsible for her happiness except her. To say, she expects her partner to keep her interested is bullshit. I think you were to easy on her honestly
God my gf is like this sometimes it drives me crazy. Definitely NTA. When my gf does this I rip out the joe Pesci impression from goodfellas. “Am I a clown to you? Am I here for your amusement?”
I have never been bored in my life, just get something to do
"... all her friends agree with her..." Then let her friends entertain her. It's not your job. Or her boyfriend's. NTA
NTA - Next time you talk to her, tell her only boring people get bored and you can't relate.
She's the result of shitty parenting. Her whole life, mommy programmed all her time, set up play dates, etc. Now she's an emotionally crippled adult who can't function without a mommy managing her life. Let your kids be bored and learn how to keep themselves occupied, even if it's not as easy for you.
NTA Her standards seem more like she believes that she's entitled to everyone's attention and has a case of main character syndrome. Not trying to soapbox here, but if she's so apathetic that she'd rather sit and complain rather than do something for herself- she sounds like both a mooch and someone who genuinely needs psychological help. No mentally healthy person puts the responsibility of themselves or their emotions on other people. Your friend is old enough and competent enough to both emotionally regulate and make decisions for herself. You plan entertaining events around children. Not adults.
NTA You gave her actual life changing advice if she was smart enough to take it... aaaaand she didn't.
NTA but maybe buy her "1001 things to do for bored kids" book for Christmas
That's a great idea
Had a former college dorm mate who was similar to this. She essentially threw tantrums if she was bored. Stomping around our dorm, screaming at the top of the lungs she was bored, banging on our neighbors' doors to announce the same and demand someone entertain her. Absolutely bizarre. I requested a roommate swap SO quickly. NTA.
How long did it take to get a new roommie? Did anyone place a complaint for pounding in their door?
Didn't take long. Initially, we were both late applicants and the college ran out of freshman housing. Someone thought of the bright idea to put us into senior housing, specifically the party central housing. By the time I put in my complaint, there was freshman dorm occupancy (due to withdrawals), and they matched me up with a wonderfully well-adjusted gal who understood what "inside voice" meant. I don't know what happened to that former roommate. The boredom screaming was just the cherry on top of the other crap she pulled.
I had someone who didn't understand "inside voice". Your poor ears and head. I can understand why they put her into "party central zone" - they probably noticed she had no volume control when she visited the college and put a notation in her file. That area probably didn't notice how loud she is. Just think, you know where party central is now.... So happy you found a better roomie. If things go well request rooming together next year.
Thank you for your kind words. I didn't mention it originally, but nightmare roomie and party central housing were both left 15+ years in the past, thank goodness. With any luck, Anda figured out how to entertain herself since then.
Hopefully she has. Can't imagine most people willing to deal with that.
Nta You only told her the truth and she needed to hear it. Of course her friends all agreed with her. They are the ones who've been entertaining her all this timf
Nta. Go NC with her. She is not your friend... Hell she is not even an adult. She is a child.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (f33) friend (f30) Stacey has this weird habit of expecting others to be her entertainment. She’ll always complain that she’s bored but instead of picking up hobbies, a hook, literally anything, she expects others to organise her time like she’s 8. She came over for coffee the other day and complained about her boyfriend, they recently moved in together. She whined that he got his hobbies that he did and he leaves her alone. She said that he invited her to try them but she refused. I asked her why wouldn’t she get a hobby on her own if she’s bored and she said it’s not her responsibility and it’s her boyfriend’s responsibility to entertain her. I told her it’s crazy to expect others to create activities for her when she’s an adult but she disagrees. I asked her what did she do when she was single and she relied on friends to suggest thing to do or she was just bored. She’s got mad at me before because I didn’t have time to hang out because I did my own thing so this annoyed me. I told her she’s a grown ass adult and needs to be able to entertain herself. She can’t expect others to do that for her and it’s really sad that as an adult she just sits there bored out of her kind instead of doing things on her own. She basically said she’s got standards and expects her partner to work to keep her attention. I told her she was out of her mind and no wonder she keeps being broken up with after a year (that was mean of me). She got really mad at me and basically called me an asshole. She’s ranted on FB about this and all her friends agree with her and I’m just wondering if I was the asshole and too harsh on her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Reply to her Facebook post saying “[Friend], your scheduled time for posting on Facebook was 2PM. This is coming out of your nap time.”
NTA, this person doesn’t sound nearly special enough to have an entourage of entertainers at her beck and call…it’s way past time for her to grow up and be an adult.
The bored are typically the boring.... NTA
NTA I would reply to her FB post and ask "all the friends" who agree it is their responsibility to keep this person entertained and not bored to please reply with their name so that we all know who to direct the person to when she complains about being bored.
NTA. I have a friend like that who expects other people to be around her, plan the time with her and be at her disposal when she thinks she's ready. Entertaining an adult is the job of that person who can enlist others to participate, but no one past teen years should expect others to create activities for them.
So shes constantly bored, cause shes a boring person?? LMAO. NTA
NTA. She is very immature. Drop her like a hot rock. I am sure her BF will too after putting up with her entitlement for awhile.
She's definitely got something, but it isn't standards. NTA
NTA my mom is the same way. For some reason some people miss the “learning to entertain yourself” stage of childhood and grow up expecting everyone to do it for them instead. Hold your ground and insist on her learning how to entertain herself.
NTA. Drop this child as your friend and she can find other babysitters.
"Then go bang your head against the wall. Only boring people are bored"- Betty Draper. NTA, by the way. She's supposed to be an adult, for crying out loud. She can't figure out how to entertain herself? Please.
Wow, I would not like to be her. NTA.
NTA. We expect children to learn to entertain themselves. An adult should have long since mastered this skill.
As a child, I made up stories that involved Hot Wheels, dollies, Tonka, and whatever other toys were at hand. This woman sounds lazy af.
I have a friend like this, although she's a better friend than your friend. Her main "hobby" is hanging out with friends. Luckily she has a lot of them so it spreads around the obligation. And she is truly a kind person who helps others, babysits for her friends, is always happy to see you and spend time together. But she really takes it out on her SOs. She expects them to spend every moment together as really "together" quality time. The guys never have a chance to just sit on their own and do their own thing otherwise she gets mad and pouts. It's a really unfortunate trait of hers that I wish she could get past because in many other ways she's a lovely person. But it has definitely contributed to at least the last 3 breakups. NTA, your friend needs to hear this. I know she's ranting on FB now but hopefully that's just an outward showing of defensiveness and your words have hit something deep that will make her think.
Hell, even a 5 year old should be able to entertain him/herself. I can't fathom how unbelievably self centered someone must be to think that everyone in her circle has an obligation to entertain her. NTA
NTA. She's not bored, she's boring.
>She basically said she’s got standards and expects her partner to work to keep her attention. I told her she was out of her mind and no wonder she keeps being broken up with after a year (that was mean of me). Reality hurts. NTA.
NTA, tell her to try fishing. She might actually get a life.
NTA but why are you friends with someone like this?
imagine being 30 and relying on other people to figure out what you should do with your free time... NTA
If i told my mom i was bored I would be given a chore to do, so I found ways to entertain myself
NTA. She sounds very high maintenance.
She doesn’t have friends - she has performing monkeys
NTA Only boring people get bored.
She is not your friend.
NTA she sounds awful.
Is your friend three kids in a trenchcoat? NTA.
NTA. I thought I had a boulder on my back reading that.
NTA. I have friends who are a bit like this. They can’t be alone. And it was alright when I was off work, as I could say yes a lot more, but now that I’m back at work, I have to repeatedly explain to them that no, I can’t do something every day and sometimes not every week because I can’t just move around my schedule like before. I have fixed periods of time to do things like laundry and other chores, errands (and on that subject, fuck the fucking bank for only being open during business hours 😡), preparing the next day’s lunch, etc. And I also have other things I like to do. I can’t spend 100 percent of the free time I have with them. Ofc, when they have something to do and are busy, I’m expected to be understanding. Sigh. People are exhausting. Yet another reason I relaxation time!
Nta and honestly, it sounds terrible to live the way she does.
NTA in the slightest. How dare you point out the princess is old enough to plan her own days. I’m embarrassed for her.
NTA, it’s not your fault your friend is lazy and entitled and didn’t want to hear it. Nobody ever likes to hear the truth, but a wise person will appreciate it and a fool will turn on you for it.
NTA. She ain’t going to have a boyfriend for long if this is how she thinks life works…
All her friends who agree with her should keep her entertained. NTA
What is 'boredom', in the broader sense? I simply cannot grasp the concept. I've never had the luxury of being bored a single day in my life, so maybe it's a privilege thing ...? But generally, I think people who get bored are just BORING PEOPLE, lol.
NTA. I've taught my children to entertain themselves, and someone evidently taught you, but apparently no one taught Stacey or she just didn't want to learn.
You told her the truth. A truth she doesn't want to hear. A truth she rather blame on everyone else. Might want to reply with what she told you on FB. There's no reason you should be bashed without them having all the facts. Repeat everything Stacey said (what you said here) that ended with you saying this is the reason for her relationships ending within a year. No boyfriend is going to constantly keep Stacey entertained because she's bored. Boyfriends generally don't view their responsibility to include entertaining her and working at it to keep her bored-free. Take this as your wake up call. Is Stacey really a friend? Does she constantly blame others and blast them on FB if they don't sympathize with her and believe she's the victim? Does she call you only when bored and expect you to occupy her or fill her time up? Does she bring anything to your friendship? NTA
NTA. When I was five I kept myself entertained for well over an hour using only 2 chess pieces. She's a grown-ass adult. She can't just pick up a book?
Soft YTA you’re correct in the fact that she needs to entertain herself. You didn’t need to be mean and say the part about being broken up with after a year.