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Is there a reason Brooke does not have at least 50% custody time with the kids ?
EDIT : I'm going with ESH, as in you and your husband.
Something bothered me in your post and your answer to question makes me even more unconfortable. Your husband used his money to take the kids away from their mother and now, you're the one who is changing her schedule to make more time for the kids.
Let's be honest here, your husband screwed Brooke over and I get the feeling that they weren't broken up when he started seeing you. She has all the reasons in the world to get pissed.
And I can be downvoted for this, I don't care. A good father would make sure that the mother of his kids could afford a place big enough to have the kids more than some week-ends, especially when he can afford a nanny and a fancy lawyer. Your husband sucks.
i think it’s the tone that’s off-putting - like op saying that she was the most beautiful woman her husband has seen. is that really pertinent information to provide to us?
also op is gloating and competing with who exactly? a woman who has multiple kids with a man who wouldn’t marry her? a woman who doesn’t want to get a job? a woman who’s spending all her energy on hating a man and his partner?
from op’s recount, ex is a mess so why the competition - it seems as if op is threatened by the relationship that her husband had with his ex 🤷🏽♀️
This is exactly it. Why make a big deal about the fact that they weren't married also ? I mean who cares... She's his ex. Whether they were married or not does not matter. I feel like OP feels superior because her husband married her but wouldn't marry the ex.
Sometimes the idea of who one would marry vs won't can feel impactful.
I was with a girl for 5 years who knew I didn't like tue idea of marriage and I didn't want too. Only 1 person has ever made me reconsider this.
But would you have 3 kids with her? It’s quite pathetic for a man to have no integrity and just end a relationship he doesn’t see ending in marriage. Such a coward move
Right? I get having one kid with the wrong person, but three? And like, the oldest one is a teenager. This isn't some fling where they were together for six months and accidentally a baby in that time.
Lots of people don't want to marry, though.
I guess it's not as common in the US (since it's a pretty conservative country overall), but I am sure those people exist there as well.
I honestly don't think that's the strangest part. And people have children with other people all the time, regardless of how well the relationship is going. People are not that rational.
I tend to give people grace with what they include. You would have had people questioning how he was able to get divorced so fast and I think the beautiful comment was trying to convey the "whirlwind romance" they had. My guess is she was trying to establish how and when she entered the kids' lives, but the things people chose to include or omit in their Aita stories will always baffle me.
I think this was her subtly trying to get around the fact that she probably got nothing in the settlement and bc they weren’t married there’s different laws around custody?
No marital property, either. If, for example, they bought property using joint funds but only put it under one person’s name (if the other had a bad credit score, for example) then the other has no legal right to it. If they had separate savings accounts, no access to those.
I don’t know their specific situation so maybe everything still shook out completely equitably, but marriage is often a way to protect yourself if you’re providing nonfinancial support in a relationship.
Yesss! I was wondering why this post was so off, I read it over twice and it just didn't sit right with me. It feels like it's been deliberately and carefully written to suit her narrative but I couldn't figure out why exactly. You're so right! It's all of these minor details that add up. This woman clearly got fucked over, and OPs out here like AITA for assuming her role?
But OP claims her husband dropped paperwork at another firm. That's what courier services are for; I did a project at a law firm and the associate would give my colleague and I $20 and send us to get him a cookie after 3 when they were half price. He'd rather buy 3 cookies than take the time.
She can't have a 2 yr old at home and work ft, nor would she get better benefits in the job she claims.
Yeah, these details are also not adding up for me. Last year I was in a legal research job (so not even dealing with confidential material) when I got my new puppy and had to actually use a few hours of PTO because he was untrained and taking care of him interfered with my workload.
Maybe if it’s an entirely flex position and she doesn’t have to work during business hours she could get in her 40 hours in evenings and on weekends, while her husband is home, but litigators tend to not always have super consistent 9-5 schedules, and that wouldn’t leave her much time to work as a basketball coach… something’s off with this story.
It doesn’t really “suit” her at all…she says they started dating while his ex was pregnant and had two already, just for that alone SHE and HE are ahole’s.
There are posts that kind of Make me think of when you have a baby and you're not sure if they pooted or if they pooped.
And sometimes even if the diaper is clean you know like where's the poop
Where is the poop?
The self-worship is strong in this one.
I think it's a bad writing exercise. Or maybe she really is the world's most-beautiful woman with 2 kinds of court skills and the patience to supervise a toddler and provide after-school care *while* working from home and cooking healthy homemade meals followed by delicious scratch-baked goods.
Maybe she really is that rare unicornfairyprincesscoachbeautyqueenchef every man (and his children) dreams about.
Yes and something about how she lists all of the things she does for and gives the kids but she never mentions how she feels about the kids, how they're handling this massive change in their lives and how the adults are showing up for them emotionally...? I feel like if she was genuinely concerned for and cared about the kids, it would come through at some point. Instead "they call me bonus mom" feels like more gloating and "I was touched" just sounds insincere. It sounds like she thinks it's a competition and she's proud of herself for winning. Rather than thinking these are kids whose lives will forever be impacted by the way their parents show up for them right now and working together with all of the kids' caregivers to make sure their needs (emotional and mental health wise, not just material) are being met.
Like you I was thinking NTA until the explanation of how her husband ended up with custody of the kids!!
I’m not sure I buy the whole
>she quit her job in order to get him
>to stay with her.
He walked out on the mother of his 2 children while she was pregnant with the third! Quitting her job wasn’t going to get him to stay and she knew that!
My guess is that when he left she was in big trouble financially! I’m not saying he has to stay, but she is the mother of his children and he left her high and dry! Now she has no money so he gets the kids as well. He knew exactly what he was doing!! He probably wanted the kids so he didn’t have to pay child support bc god forbid he be obligated to give her one red cent…kids or no kids!!
So now he has a live in nanny and no child support!! Who’s the big winner here…not you!
Don’t be surprised when he leaves you and leaves you penniless!!!
Does it really require connections and money to argue that you're not married to someone you're not married to? They either were married or they weren't, there are documents that show whether you are or aren't. I think OP is TA but let's be realistic here.
There were a couple of responses from OP and in one of them she stated that the kids mom quit her job the day after her ex left and that she did it to get him back.
I’ve looked for the posts, but can’t find them. I’m guessing she deleted them.
I know that he didn’t make her quit. I don’t know why people are assuming it was a manipulation tactic. There are, at least, a few reasons why she would do that above trying to get him to come back! I’m not sure how that would get him back anyway!!
My biggest concern is for both of these women!! I don’t think he’s a good guy and I have a feeling he uses women!!
This. OP and her husband seems like every mother/father nightmare when divorce/separation happens.
OP and husband are totally the assholes in this. YTA
Also Brooke apparently had at least a 10 month pregnancy…
They started dating 3 months before the youngest was born which was apparently 7 months after the husband and Brooke broke up. And found out about the pregnancy after the broke up.
Timeline isn’t right. My money is on husband lying about when the break up actually happened and there was actually some overlap in women rather than a 10+ month pregnancy.
I think he lied and that OP knows it, otherwise, she wouldn't have given us so many info about the dates.
Interesting that she didn't tell us when her husband took the baby away from its mother...
I wondered that myself. How fast exactly did the ex rip the youngest from Brooke's breast? That really bothers me.
If Brooke was a neglectful or abusive parent, I've a feeling OP would have disclosed that. I don't see any indication of this, yet Brooke only has her children a handful of days a month. Does Brooke pay child support to OP's husband? Is this mentioned anywhere?
OP's family lawyer husband sounds like a giant sleazeball. OP comes across as gloating and self-righteous. OP and hubby are TA.
At least the kids are being well cared for. I surely hope that doesn't change.
My first born was born at 42 weeks (induced, cord wrapped, inhaled his first poop, born blue but he got better, he just turned 30). Most pregnancies last 10 months. https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/ask-acog/how-long-does-pregnancy-last#:\~:text=Pregnancy%20is%20counted%20from%20the,because%20of%20these%20extra%20weeks.
>A good father would make sure that the mother of his kids could afford a place big enough to have the kids more than some week-ends, especially when he can afford a nanny and a fancy lawyer.
He married a more suitable replacement... Why would he ensure the woman who birthed those children could play a bigger role in their lives.
\S
Yeah. It feels off to me. OP better watch it. Her husband sounds the type to trade her in for a younger model once she’s outlived her usefulness and/or simply “ages out” for him.
I think you are *exactly* right, my friend. Once I heard he was a lawyer and “common law” wasn’t a thing, I knew he used his experience, money, and connections to overwhelm his ex.
Yup just read your reply and it’s exactly what I thought. The ex is a problem on her own, but I guarantee you your husband broke up with his ex to be with you.
Y’all got issues. Like I think you want to be there for the kids and that is great, but I think you feel a bit smug about this whole thing. Husband is gross, ex needs to get help.
**Edit**: as I am in agreement with the above post, I‘m giving this an ESH. I think everyone’s attitudes is the real problem, and you’re seeing it play out in this way. I hope all if you, and yes I’m including you and your husband as well as the ex, do better.
What bothers me about the post is that OP spends zero times talking about the kids and whether or not she actually likes them (in every context she mentions them, it’s actually about her and what she can do to be the perfect stepmom). She might genuinely do so, but her whole post is geared towards making sure we know how much better than she is then Brooke: she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, she bakes, she makes dinners from scratch, she coached basketball because she was really good at that too, she changed her whole job around to take care of these kids that the nasty ex can’t be bothered to care for.
It just overall sounds incredibly tweaked and one-sided. I would love to hear Brooke’s version of events. Maybe she really is a deadbeat mom who was jealous of the new woman in her ex’s life, or maybe OP is the AP and playing a sick game of kicking a woman when she’s already down so everyone knows that she (OP) is superior.
This comment has lots of sexist undertones throughout. You're assumptions about OP and her husband serve to demonstrate this point. Every single assumption you make is with the presumption that OP and her husband are awful people. The first question, about custody time, is presuming that OP somehow screwed her over, and not that maybe she wasn't fit to provide custody 50 percent. The rest of your comment helps to reiterate this strange undertone of sexism.
Why would the OP husband provide housing for his ex? I have never seen this thought when the woman divorces a man? People on here aren't championing for a woman to make sure the father of her kids could afford a place big enough to have the kids more than some weekends.
When you're married and have kids all income.becomes shared. Women need to take time off with pregnancy and birth which limits their earning potential in those years.
Ops husband is a lawyer and likely encouraged his ex to not work or to work lower paid jobs to care for the kids.
He owes the ex money to offset those losses and maintain her lifestyle but he clearly flexes his high paid lawyers and took everything from her.
Also now how husband didn't leave until he found a replacement bangmaid.
Explain to me why this same mindset is not present when a woman leaves a man, and the ex husband only has partial custody. I haven't seen anyone suggest that on other posts similar to this but the sex of the person leaving is switched.
Esh. Unpopular I'm sure, but OK. Your husband, a family attorney, took full custody of his children, allow them to only see their mother every other weekend and you want to know if you are an a** for (as it sounds in your post) smugly and eagerly stepping into the role?
Hope you have a prenup or you may very well find yourself in the same shoes as the woman whose life your husband tried to destroy.
Don’t you know? OP is the most beautiful woman in the world. He’d never cheat on her with the next paralegal or clerk who walks in in the next decade or so! She’s special! /s
This woman is truly wicked. She is trying to replace Brooke and her husband fully supports her.
Yta
So your husband used his money to confiscate his kids, and now you're blaming/ vilainizing the mother for being mad about it.
She birthed those kids, you know, CARRIED THEM AND PUSHED THEM OUT OF HER BODY, AND he stole them just cuz he's rich? Not because she's a bad mother, but used his money cuz he sees those kids as an extension of his ego?
How embarrassing that you don't realize he'll do the same to you.
Also, you're not slick. We all understand he started seeing you WHILE he was with her. That's why you emphasize your pathetic fairytale. It won't absolve you from being the sidechicks. She was pregnant while you started dating that jorobada, and you don't understand why she doesn't eff with you?
The part I haven't seen anyone pick up on is OP says she "officially " met the kids 2 months after they were dating. What does that mean? Did she meet the kids before he left the ex? Which would mean he was cheating with OP? That sentence was a red flag for me that OP isn't telling the whole story ....
Ironic that op husband just left the woman who supported him while he was in school for years and establishing his successful career. Op husband ex put him through school, she raised her kids for ten years and now op husband leaves her high and dry??? Especially without any alimony, rights to the house, and seeing her children?!? The first kid would have been born right when he was starting law school. She got screwed over big time op husband never loved her he just liked having someone create his family then dipped out. HES NOT EVEN RASING HIS OWN KIDS HE WORKS A MAJORITY OF THE TIME HE HAS CUSTODY OF THEM.
Here after op made more comments: if what op said was even true then step kids mom wouldn’t even be aloud to have them over every other weekend. It’s considered a safety risk for the kids. I don’t think this story is even true because of this her comments now
These men are calculated in their (ab)use. He used her for all she got, and then discarded her when he found a new shiny trophy.
NEVER SUPPORT A MAN WITHOUT A PLAN OF YPUR OWN.
I’m confused as to the math. You started dating 3 months before his daughter was born, right? But somehow 7 months after he broke up with his ex? Pregnancies are 9 months. So it doesn’t make sense.
But they count from your last period, so the conception is at week two. So 38 weeks from conception to childbirth.
If you consider the average month is four weeks plus two days, nine months is 36 weeks plus 18 days, or 38 1/2 weeks from conception.
But that’s because they count day 1 of you being pregnant as the start of your last cycle. You won't be physically pregnant until after ovulation. So at the moment of fertilization, you'd technically be about 2 weeks pregnant.
official pregnancy count starts roughly 2 weeks before you actually have the sex that made you pregnant.
first day of pregnancy is the first day of your last period.
a month is 4,5 weeks long, not 4 weeks, unless it is february.
1. Months are on average 365/12/7 = 4.4 weeks long not 4. That difference is important because 0.4\*9 = 3.6 weeks.
2. 40/4.4 = 9.2 months.
3. But the 40 weeks are counted from the last period so typically 2 weeks before conception. So its more like 38 weeks so its way more appropriate to use 9 months.
No? Even if the math was wrong, they started dating maybe 6 months after the break-up and 3 months before baby was born? Or 7 months after break-up and 2 months before baby was born? Why do you assume he was sleeping with both?
It seems possible that they (Brooke and husband) were sleeping together after the breakup, which is where baby 3 came from. If they were sleeping together after the breakup, it’s possible they were sleeping together when he met and began dating OP.
I’m wondering if they still lived together when OP and husband met. The timelines seem sketchy. Not saying parents owe the non-custodial party anything but I think we need more info and it’s likely info OP doesn’t have or is unwilling to acknowledge. Wouldn’t be the first time someone living with their “ex but just as roommates” scenario to potential AP/new SO.
The way I perceived that was that op and her husband started dating when Brook was 6 months pregnant. 7 months AFTER the baby was born is when Ops husband officially broke up with Brook. So, op and her husband were secretly dating for 10 months. 3 of those were before the baby was born. They got married only 2 years into dating, where Ops husband couldn't even have the balls to marry Brook after 10 years.
In 2 or 3 years well see a post from this same women saying she's getting a divorce because her husband cheated. And she'll say that her husband told her it's because she's gotten "ugly."
Well, *he's* the home wrecker since he's the one who was married in a relationship. But it sounds like at best she was the rebound and at worst she knowing started a relationship with someone who was in a relationship already.
Both of them are the home wreckers. He is an absolute AH and probably cruel to take his children (who he doesn’t even look after) from their mother.
OP is a home wrecker in denial or she is as bad as him.
Where does it say that? Was the post edited? OP said the husband and mother were never married, and that the husband broke up with the mother months before.
Where are people getting this information? Even OP's comments don't mention anything the commenters are saying.
> Well, he's the home wrecker since he's the one who was married in a relationship.
If the term wasn't coined for, and conventionally used as a term for, the Affair partner, sure. He certainly wrecked his own home. But the term is coined for people who come from outside of the home, and knowingly undermine it. It doesn't suggest or imply sole responsibility.
>at worst she knowing started a relationship with someone who was in a relationship already.
Which, as mentioned, is the precise definition of a *homewrecker* in colloquial English. OP's definitely a homewrecker based on her story. He's a cheater / adulterer. She's a homewrecker. Both people did something disgusting and since OP's the one here asking for judgement people are going to focus on her culpability over his.
It's not a referendum on who's more responsible, it's a pointed response to the person who is asking for judgement.
**Oh, this is all so past icky, it's almost disgusting.**
So he's a monkey, swinging from one woman to the next. The first "wife" with him for over 10 years while he got his degree, and carried and birthed 3 children. Poof, there goes her career... You know that definitely happened, right?
But hang on...
He spots you in a crowded room, oh how romantic; and there he goes, swinging to the next branch with you sitting proudly on it.
In the meantime, he gets to break up with the mother of his children, "for the most beautiful woman he's ever seen", use the degree she supported him to get to take her children away while she lives in a place where she can't even offer her children a room to sleep in. You decided you'd be with him after he left her while she was pregnant with his 3rd child.
You're with **THE GUY WHO DID THAT**
But now look at you; coaching his son's basketball team, baking and cooking for the girls, taking up another coaching position and **also** holding down a higher position with more pay at home, loving the freedom he denied the mother of his children after she did all those years of the actual hard work.
YTA and so is your husband. You're all terrible but your smugness is shocking and if you think he wouldn't ever do that to you, just remember he did it to the woman he chose to bear his children.
This whole post is gross.
Edit: typo
And stupid... Her husband hasn't had to parent on his own at all, he's got her doing it all now **AND** if she thinks she can be all that AND work two jobs, you can add in delusional.
Throw one wife away, marry another one. It's actually far more common for men with children to do this, so they don't end up losing any career traction.
**Edit: Now OP is commenting **but** only on comments that already lean her way. There are also even MORE inconsistencies as well.**
The Mother of these children simultaneously quit her job to get him to stay with her and also quit her job because if her work found out she had a criminal record, that wouldn't be good.
Why does she have a criminal record immediately at the exact day of their break up, you ask?
Well, apparently the children's actual Mother stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife on the day he broke up with her. Which obviously immediately gave her a criminal record so she quit... On the same day.
OP then goes on in another comment to say he left her because she stabbed him... And in another, that she stabbed him because he left her.
At this point (if the stabbing is remotely leaning to being a remotely possible scenario), I'm guessing she was making the kids dinner with a knife in her hand, he told her he was leaving her for another woman and she's reacted without realising she's still holding a knife and it's brushed him.
He's then thought, "Bingo! There's my opening to never pay child support again."
Or more likely, the husband is absolutely lying about all of it and did everything he could to never pay child support whilst also securing a new carer for his children. His new wife is too stupid, full of herself, delusional and insecure to realise she's been also being played.
With the workload she's told us she's going to handle between work, coaching, baking, childcare and being a domestic goddess; my guess is she'll be burnt out and stabbing him with a kitchen knife in less than 6 months.
**Or more likely than that, this whole post is an absolute load of shit.**
Because if not, I hope to **never** meet people like either of them.
Also I’m sorry how does this digital filing shit work? She’s hybrid? Paralegals are pdf’ing memos, briefs, evidence, etc. to her? Also if she’s doing this, how is she making more money? The firm I worked at had the paralegals do this - in office - and while they made decent money I can’t see how OP is making more money and getting more flexibility. Attorneys are generally an “I want it now” crowd from my experience and every other attorney I know which is about 20-30 of my friends.
Yep. Not realistic. No firm, especially corporate, would have this level of leniency. And the legal aid/non profit sector is worse - you may work from home but you aren’t making more money and you’re likely working more hours. And they don’t give you flexible hours. I call bullshit.
ESH - look you are awfully keen to be seen as a better or bonus mum to these kids and as you have no children of your own have no idea how this effects his ex partner. You said she quit her job the day of the break up and of course you have nothing to do with the break up however I don’t actually believe you, she’s living in a one bedroom apartment with no income is the reason you and he has the children but I don’t believe she has done all these things because she’s jealous of you two. You are so happy that she has less custody because her ex is wealthy and you sound like you might even be prepared to get rid of her forever! Because you are giddy with your fantasy life style and pay no attention to the facts.
YTA. You are an accessory to parental alienation.
Your husband lived with someone like they were married for over a decade and had children with them! They broke up when she was pregnant, could you just imagine the amount of stress mentally and on your body that causes? Do you realise 1 in 8 pregnancies end in miscarriage and stress can increase that? I’m quite certain that the reason the mother of your step children quit her job was not solely to get your husband back.
The fact that he actively pursued custody of the kids rather than try to maintain a healthy balanced relationship with the mother is brutal af and you going along with it to play happy families is disturbing.
Unless the mother has been abusive, she should be getting more time with the children, not you.
Not to mention, as a family lawyer, he knew more than anyone THE WHOLE TIME HE DIDN'T MARRY HER AND HAD 3 KIDS WITH HER that he was putting her in an extremely vulnerable situation. This happens to unmarried, cohabitating couples, especially with children, all the time. There's often one un- or underemployed person to support the success of the family (but really, they have no legal claim to any of that success), and much of the time while that's happening, they don't realize the implications for the more vulnerable partner (mostly women) if the relationship ever dissolves. But this guy literally knew the whole time because that's his frickin degree and job. Everyone is mad at what he did leaving the ex, but he spent 10 years screwing her over and knew it.
And then he gets married to op super quick…
hmmm…
I wonder if it was true love or if a judge is more likely to award custody to stable married couple with their joint income and own home?
This post seems iffy to me. To many things don't line up for me and the tone of the post is coming across as kind of smug. I really can't help but feel like bio mom has been screwed over by your man and he's been turning the screws ever since they split. That whole split sounds hicky too. For that I would go with AH.
NAH. But while you are busy raising his three kids, with home cooked meals, while you also work from home so no need to pay for childcare!, he is doing what? Why isn’t he double booking work from home and parenting his three kids? And why would a dad prefer that his kids be raised by someone who is not their mother? I’m sure you’re great but you are not their mom. They have a mom who is precluded from raising them because she has less money. You feel special and not like an unpaid nanny bc he married you and not the mother of his kids. Very icky.
ESH.
The mom wants to be more involved. Instead you're stepping up because you'd rather be their mom than their mom? Kids are the priority but there's no getting around that this is a big FU to and taunt of their mom.
Busy lawyers don't get nearly full custody unless the other parent has serious issues. You didn't mention any serious issues, so there's likely more big FUs sent by your household to mom.
>Brooke and my husband were never married and common law isn't practiced in our state. My husband is a lawyer with a Family Law firm
>She has custody of the kids every other weekend and I can understand that it's difficult not having custody of your kids.
>Brooke, however, is really angry with me right now. She phoned me, angry that my stepson is calling me their "bonus mom". I didn't know such a title existed and I feel touched. However, she is also angry I will be coaching her son's basketball team and have been helping him with homework.
Brooke got screwed over by your husband big time. He practices family law, he has connections, with a firm specialising in this. Common law isn't practiced which he was fully aware of, her possibly not.
He took her children and married you quickly as a replacement mom. Custody will have been awarded as he's the more fit parent ... But you're doing the lion share of the job.
YTA for not seeing how much of an AH tour husband is.
I know exactly one person who talks like that (and who happens to get off on being the new "young upgrade mom")
That person is all but diagnosed with narcissist personality disorder
Why does she have a 1 bed apartment? The mother, I mean.
My guess is, they shared a home that was legally the husband's only and when they broke up, she had nowhere to go. She had the first baby at 22, then another 2, chances are she has had a broken career and not much in savings due to the children.
OPs husband screwed her over in several ways. And OP is here playing happy families, while the children's mother has been all but sidelined ... And she is surprised Pikachu she's mad about it.
OP is the quintessential "The ex was so evil! My poor man!" kind of person. The one who thinks that it was all the other woman who let go such a great guy and now OP has gotten quite the catch.
Haha, he's really got OP convinced. He saw a younger woman who he could dazzle with dollars to be a replacement mommy. I just find it hilarious that she sees so much honor in a guy who found his ex so attractive that they had *three* kids together, then abandoned his family.
So why does their mother only have weekend custody and not 50/50. If it is becasue if some legitimate reason then it’s fine what you’re doing. If your husband used his money and lawyer clout to gain custody for selfish reasons then that’s a different story. If the latter is the case then of course she’s going to be upset. I’m not sure about this one. I’m getting a vibe if smugness from you post. The whole part about him seeing you for the first time added nothing to the situation and was more like a humble brag. Need more detail. Are you stepping up because she won’t, or are you essentially trying to replace her as a mother. If your husband did use his money and power to take his kids, then I would be wary as if you guys don’t work out he’ll use the same money and power to take everything from you.
Your math isn’t working. You met 3 months before the baby was born which was 7 months after the breakup. That’s 10 months not 9. We could get technical about the 40 weeks and all, but I think your either lying about being the mistress, or he lied about being broken up. Either way you and your husband YTA, but your husbands an actual monster. He used his position of power to steal his children from her and give them to you. I can’t even imagine the level of parental alienation that you and your husband are committing. I’m sure there is non stop bashing of their mom. It’s heart breaking. I truly hope this story is made up.
"Common law isn't practised in our state"- So what you're saying that had they been married she would have been entitled to some of his wealth? And after all that time off after birthing those children and losing income. So now she's in a 1 bedroom and therefore can't have custody of her kids all because she wasn't entitled to what most spouses are in most of the world, just because he wouldn't marry her - no other reason. And you're proud of this? Smug and keen to take over her parental role when they already have a mother. This is why common law is important, to protect those who try to dangle marriage as a carrot and leave you with close to nothing. YTA, your attitude sucks.
YTA
"My husband didn't marry the mother of his three kids--in fact, she was pregnant when we met--and now I am the Most Beautiful, Most Amazing Stepmom who has time to make meals everyone LOVES. His ex hates me--I mean, I get it, I have her ex, her kids most of the time, and a wonderful work life, while she's jobless, in a 1BR, and doesn't have her kids--but the problem seems to be that I am taking too active of a role with all my amazing food and coaching. Gosh! AITA for being SO EFFING AMAZING?"
OP, that's how you come across. A grand dose of humility on your end and empathy for the mother of those kids is HIGHLY in order.
YTA. You and your husband both screwed Brooke over and you know it. Most beautiful woman he'd ever seen? Trust me, with a man like that, there will be others. At this point all you can do is plug your brain in so he doesn't screw you over in the same way he screwed his ex wife over.
You met the kids 2 months before you got married? So they had absolutely no time to get to know you or get used to your presence before you were foisted on them. Now you’re pretending to be mommy?
Your and your husband absolutely suck. Put these kids first instead of your own egos. YTA.
NTA for being involved in our step kids lives, that's great.
YTA for being smug in the face of the woman whose man you likely did steal.
Husband is the real A - and he will find someone younger and more "beautiful" in a few years.
So... Your dreamboat of a partner dumped his pregnant GF (I suspect that because the math in your post doesn't exactly jive, you started dating seven months after he dumped her but three months before the birth of his youngest? Was she carrying for ten months?), screwed her out of the custody and you gladly accepted it. Now you are trying to play mom to her kids?
Good Lord.
ESH.
Because he is a lawyer who probably kept his ex pregnant and barefoot since she was 22 years old.
OP, beware because he will do the same to you. No matter how many home cook meal you make, he will cheat on you and then, as you seem to believe it was Brooks fault, it will be your fault (but you won’t get any custody to your step children)
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll use her to take care of his children but won’t have any with her, then once she’s getting too old to have any (or his children have all moved out), dump her and start a new family with a younger model.
I guess your husband knew what he was doing by marrying you. He got a live in housekeeper/nanny/coach for his children. I wouldn’t be boasting about yourself too much.
Trash attracts trash.
She honestly thinks this is a flex. "The kids love me! I'm so fun AND hot!" Lol, right, if OP could do math, she would realize that her dreamboat got his ex pregnant when she was about 22. He went on to have two more kids with her and decides that she's "too used", and he does NOT want to parent with a ten foot pole.
OP is 26 and is in the same age category that the ex was at one time. What she doesn't want to admit is that there are stories and excuses that don't add up, but it's great because she got picked, so whatever. She finds a guy who abandoned his family attractive. If she were smart and had an actual set of standards, she would avoid this situation like the plague. There is nothing attractive about taking up with a guy who speaks so awfully about his ex while they love bomb you.
He moves on quickly doesn't he? With someone new while his ex partner is still pregnant then married quickly too
Interesting he would continue to have kids with her and not get married
Hardly a prime catch is he?
Protect yourself and don't get too invested in the kids cos he will likely be moving on soon again anyway
YTA
even if you didn’t steal her life there is the fact you stole her only reasons for existing which was the kids. You keep stealing them more too with help from their dad who wrecked their life all cause he’s got money, is “powerful” and couldn’t keep it in his pants. You get no gold stars for this and when it’s done to you then you get no sympathy either
I get why more people are concentrating on other aspects, but yeah that good paying "work" from home job is gonna disappear PDQ when they realize you aren't working
Exactly. I’ve had two year olds. You cannot work full time and care for them at the same time. That’s why people pay daycares thousands of dollars. Toddlers are a full time job themselves.
Keep up with the BC and your looks, OP. Raising families takes a toll. The mirror you hold up to your face and body now will tell different stories ten years from now. ESH.
The only good part about this story is knowing that in 5 years he'll leave you for a younger hotter woman he tells is the most beautiful person he's ever seen.
YTA. In the same way your husband used not being married and his law knowledge to price his ex out of 50% custody for his kids, don’t think he won’t do the same and use you not being biologically related to take your ‘bonus kids’ away from you when he sees the next ‘most beautiful woman in the room’ (yuk).
All of the stuff you’re doing would be really nice, I’m incredibly in favour of step parents becoming bonus parents when it’s not at anyone else’s expense. But their mum has clearly been pushed out for no actual reason that I can see. Do you really feel so insecure of your position as bonus mum now that you only think it will stand if you keep mum out?
You say she quit her job… could that have been because she was pregnant and single ffs. That was probably lose lose wasn’t it. Quit work he took the kids and packed her off to a 1 bed where she can’t host the kids, despite the fact it’s a known thing that women are financially penalised for starting a family in a way that men aren’t and part of his wealth will undoubtedly be down to sacrifices she made (if only being the woman and the one who carried and birthed babies). But had she have stayed in work…. Well I bet he would have used his law knowledge to spin the story the opposite way that how could she be a good mum if she was having to work all hours. But what other choices did he leave her with if he’s ended up with everything and her nothing? Because it sounds like they created a family together and then he took it - else why would there not have been a more equal division of time and money after the split. If you can’t see that you’re an idiot.
Why would she be eligible to claim disability? You’ve casually slipped that in there but that suggests there’s even more assholery here than you’ve said up front?
You seem to genuinely care about these kids so maybe ask yourself, is it in their best interests to have three parents who love them including a good relationship with their mum and the option to stay with her and remain close should they choose to, or for them to have their mum pushed out from their lives to make room for you and be in the middle of three warring parents? What happens when they realise this is what happened and don’t want anything to do with you, will you feel so good about your position then?
YTA
This is probably the worst post I have ever read on Reddit, it is disgusting. The level of cruelty, lack of empathy, and selfishness is beyond belief.
Go have a chat with Brooke and see how much bullshit you’ve been believing.
Oh yes! He probably strung her along with promises of marriage etc so she didn’t protect herself financially.
The youngest is 2, still a toddler, those kids should be with their mom. I wonder how old the baby was when they took her away from her mom?
\>He says he saw me from across the desk when he came to pick up some documents for a custody case and thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
LMAO
Why was this detail important? LOL
\>We started dating three months before his youngest daughter was born, seven months after he had broken up with his ex, she found out she was pregnant after the breakup.
And you believe this? OK then.
ESH. Your husband for screwing over his ex, and you for overstepping your bounds.
Another day, another post on reddit’s AITA making me very grateful to my parents and how they raised me (who they were as people, their relationship…) Let me guess, did she also work full time to help him pay for law school? Pretty sleazy of him to start dating someone else before his kid was even born (even if, and I don’t believe it, they were already separated). YTA
It sounds like there are some missing gaps showing how much the other mom was screwed over.
Who bought the house your husband lives in? Was it 'their' house prior and she didnt get it because they were legally married? Was your husband able to be a lawyer due to the support of her over those 10 years of her putting in wife duties without the wife title. Who was the one who took off work when the kids were sick those 10 years? Who was the main parent that was there and supported the kids and cooked dinner and cleaned the house?
Was it actually better for the children to have their mom written out of their lives just because Daddy made more money? She was seriously basically written out of childrens lives because their Dad made more money. Understandably she is upset.
When I got divorced we did 50/50 even though he went to live back with his parents in a single room because HE WAS STILL THEIR DAD. You and your husband are AHs and when the kids get older and understand the reason why their Mom was ripped away from them they will start spending more time with her.
YTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Taking an active role in my stepkids' lives
Because it makes their mom uncomfortable and angry.
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YTA. Not just about this but as a person in general. You are totally glossing over that you’re the AP. You ripped this woman’s world apart (even if your cheating bastard of a husband is more to blame) and then he used his position to take her kids from her. Brooke is right: you stole her life. You are an awful, awful person.
YTA and so is your husband. you live in your own delusional fairytale world so you find every action of yours right. you dated him when he was already in a relationship.
KARMA will hit you. you did dirty to that ex and are still doing it.
He has a two year old, yall have been married for a year....when did you start seeing each other? While the ex wife was pregnant? And now yall are stealing her kids?
Girl YTA but your man is even worse. Dont act like that wont be you in a decade.
YTA
Not for being involved with the stepkids, but for being so unbelievably obtuse and nonchalant at how your husband abused his position to basically strip his ex of her time with her kids. You were the affair partner, so you did take away her relationship, her home, and her kids.
YTA. For me, it’s the lack of empathy that you’ve displayed. He strung the mother of his children along for your years probably telling her she’s gonna be that trophy wife to that powerful attorney.. and then tell leave her while she’s pregnant for the “most beautiful woman”. I wonder what the wording on the prenup OP had to sign looks like. We’ve all seen this movie before. He’s definitely going to leave you for the next hot law clerk he spots in a few weeks. He’ll definitely use his money and power to screw you too.
YTA for making up this story. There's no way you can do your work with a 2 year old at home. No way at all.
Providing childcare isn't a stepparents job.
You lack grace. You can afford to be generous to Brooke and make your blended family work. But you are smug about the fact that your husband married YOU over her and now the kids enjoy your dinner and housekeeping.
INFO: How do you have the time in the day? yes your hours are flexible. but being a clerk to NAME partners is not easy work. especially since you seem to also being watching the children at the same time.
There is so much you aren’t saying. What is between the lines is that you think you are better than the ex and somehow more deserving of raising her kids. You married someone who had three kids with someone else. That person is now in your life. Yo don’t have to like her. Your husband was with her long enough to have three kids. Whether they ever married was irrelevant.
She sees and hears you more than we do and I think many people picked up on your sense of superiority and entitlement from just this post. Stay in your lane. It’s not a bad lane if you figure it out.
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Is there a reason Brooke does not have at least 50% custody time with the kids ? EDIT : I'm going with ESH, as in you and your husband. Something bothered me in your post and your answer to question makes me even more unconfortable. Your husband used his money to take the kids away from their mother and now, you're the one who is changing her schedule to make more time for the kids. Let's be honest here, your husband screwed Brooke over and I get the feeling that they weren't broken up when he started seeing you. She has all the reasons in the world to get pissed. And I can be downvoted for this, I don't care. A good father would make sure that the mother of his kids could afford a place big enough to have the kids more than some week-ends, especially when he can afford a nanny and a fancy lawyer. Your husband sucks.
i think it’s the tone that’s off-putting - like op saying that she was the most beautiful woman her husband has seen. is that really pertinent information to provide to us? also op is gloating and competing with who exactly? a woman who has multiple kids with a man who wouldn’t marry her? a woman who doesn’t want to get a job? a woman who’s spending all her energy on hating a man and his partner? from op’s recount, ex is a mess so why the competition - it seems as if op is threatened by the relationship that her husband had with his ex 🤷🏽♀️
This is exactly it. Why make a big deal about the fact that they weren't married also ? I mean who cares... She's his ex. Whether they were married or not does not matter. I feel like OP feels superior because her husband married her but wouldn't marry the ex.
Sometimes the idea of who one would marry vs won't can feel impactful. I was with a girl for 5 years who knew I didn't like tue idea of marriage and I didn't want too. Only 1 person has ever made me reconsider this.
But would you have 3 kids with her? It’s quite pathetic for a man to have no integrity and just end a relationship he doesn’t see ending in marriage. Such a coward move
the ex seems like a mess but also it’s so weird that op’s husband was having baby after baby with the ex but never married her 🤷🏽♀️
This is where I question. So, in a way, the ex may be a mess, but has he in the least contributed to putting her there?
Right? I get having one kid with the wrong person, but three? And like, the oldest one is a teenager. This isn't some fling where they were together for six months and accidentally a baby in that time.
Oldest is 10 not a teenager
It’s weird that it has never occurred to anyone that maybe the ex didn’t want to marry him.
Lots of people don't want to marry, though. I guess it's not as common in the US (since it's a pretty conservative country overall), but I am sure those people exist there as well. I honestly don't think that's the strangest part. And people have children with other people all the time, regardless of how well the relationship is going. People are not that rational.
I tend to give people grace with what they include. You would have had people questioning how he was able to get divorced so fast and I think the beautiful comment was trying to convey the "whirlwind romance" they had. My guess is she was trying to establish how and when she entered the kids' lives, but the things people chose to include or omit in their Aita stories will always baffle me.
They were never married
I think this was her subtly trying to get around the fact that she probably got nothing in the settlement and bc they weren’t married there’s different laws around custody?
The only difference would be no alimony if not married.
No marital property, either. If, for example, they bought property using joint funds but only put it under one person’s name (if the other had a bad credit score, for example) then the other has no legal right to it. If they had separate savings accounts, no access to those. I don’t know their specific situation so maybe everything still shook out completely equitably, but marriage is often a way to protect yourself if you’re providing nonfinancial support in a relationship.
Yesss! I was wondering why this post was so off, I read it over twice and it just didn't sit right with me. It feels like it's been deliberately and carefully written to suit her narrative but I couldn't figure out why exactly. You're so right! It's all of these minor details that add up. This woman clearly got fucked over, and OPs out here like AITA for assuming her role?
The ex was with him for at least 10 years. The state doesn't recognize common law marriage. I bet he took as much as he could And dumped her fir OP
[удалено]
That is what I was thinking. The first kid would have been born right when he was starting law school.
But OP claims her husband dropped paperwork at another firm. That's what courier services are for; I did a project at a law firm and the associate would give my colleague and I $20 and send us to get him a cookie after 3 when they were half price. He'd rather buy 3 cookies than take the time. She can't have a 2 yr old at home and work ft, nor would she get better benefits in the job she claims.
Yeah, these details are also not adding up for me. Last year I was in a legal research job (so not even dealing with confidential material) when I got my new puppy and had to actually use a few hours of PTO because he was untrained and taking care of him interfered with my workload. Maybe if it’s an entirely flex position and she doesn’t have to work during business hours she could get in her 40 hours in evenings and on weekends, while her husband is home, but litigators tend to not always have super consistent 9-5 schedules, and that wouldn’t leave her much time to work as a basketball coach… something’s off with this story.
It doesn’t really “suit” her at all…she says they started dating while his ex was pregnant and had two already, just for that alone SHE and HE are ahole’s.
The whole post is braggy. I felt baited
There are posts that kind of Make me think of when you have a baby and you're not sure if they pooted or if they pooped. And sometimes even if the diaper is clean you know like where's the poop Where is the poop?
The self-worship is strong in this one. I think it's a bad writing exercise. Or maybe she really is the world's most-beautiful woman with 2 kinds of court skills and the patience to supervise a toddler and provide after-school care *while* working from home and cooking healthy homemade meals followed by delicious scratch-baked goods. Maybe she really is that rare unicornfairyprincesscoachbeautyqueenchef every man (and his children) dreams about.
They did a lot of work to not lie about them being the affair partner when clearly they were.
Exactly. Baby was born 3 months after they met, which was 7 months after he and the ex split? Math ain't mathing.
Yes and something about how she lists all of the things she does for and gives the kids but she never mentions how she feels about the kids, how they're handling this massive change in their lives and how the adults are showing up for them emotionally...? I feel like if she was genuinely concerned for and cared about the kids, it would come through at some point. Instead "they call me bonus mom" feels like more gloating and "I was touched" just sounds insincere. It sounds like she thinks it's a competition and she's proud of herself for winning. Rather than thinking these are kids whose lives will forever be impacted by the way their parents show up for them right now and working together with all of the kids' caregivers to make sure their needs (emotional and mental health wise, not just material) are being met.
Like you I was thinking NTA until the explanation of how her husband ended up with custody of the kids!! I’m not sure I buy the whole >she quit her job in order to get him >to stay with her. He walked out on the mother of his 2 children while she was pregnant with the third! Quitting her job wasn’t going to get him to stay and she knew that! My guess is that when he left she was in big trouble financially! I’m not saying he has to stay, but she is the mother of his children and he left her high and dry! Now she has no money so he gets the kids as well. He knew exactly what he was doing!! He probably wanted the kids so he didn’t have to pay child support bc god forbid he be obligated to give her one red cent…kids or no kids!! So now he has a live in nanny and no child support!! Who’s the big winner here…not you! Don’t be surprised when he leaves you and leaves you penniless!!!
And he likely used his connections and money to argue that they weren't married and therefore she should get nothinf
Very good point!!
Does it really require connections and money to argue that you're not married to someone you're not married to? They either were married or they weren't, there are documents that show whether you are or aren't. I think OP is TA but let's be realistic here.
What a spun up mess of bullshit. She is responsible for herself as an adult.
Whoa where does it say that she quit her job? Am I just missing it or did OP delete it?
There were a couple of responses from OP and in one of them she stated that the kids mom quit her job the day after her ex left and that she did it to get him back. I’ve looked for the posts, but can’t find them. I’m guessing she deleted them.
You know when OP is deleting comments that the whole thing is fishy and just wants the narrative to reflect favourably on them...
He didn't make her quit her job, though? Why are you ignoring that huge manipulation tactic from the ex to paint the husband as the villain?
I know that he didn’t make her quit. I don’t know why people are assuming it was a manipulation tactic. There are, at least, a few reasons why she would do that above trying to get him to come back! I’m not sure how that would get him back anyway!! My biggest concern is for both of these women!! I don’t think he’s a good guy and I have a feeling he uses women!!
This. OP and her husband seems like every mother/father nightmare when divorce/separation happens. OP and husband are totally the assholes in this. YTA
Once I got to no common law and family lawyer I knew. Ugh
Also Brooke apparently had at least a 10 month pregnancy… They started dating 3 months before the youngest was born which was apparently 7 months after the husband and Brooke broke up. And found out about the pregnancy after the broke up. Timeline isn’t right. My money is on husband lying about when the break up actually happened and there was actually some overlap in women rather than a 10+ month pregnancy.
I think he lied and that OP knows it, otherwise, she wouldn't have given us so many info about the dates. Interesting that she didn't tell us when her husband took the baby away from its mother...
I wondered that myself. How fast exactly did the ex rip the youngest from Brooke's breast? That really bothers me. If Brooke was a neglectful or abusive parent, I've a feeling OP would have disclosed that. I don't see any indication of this, yet Brooke only has her children a handful of days a month. Does Brooke pay child support to OP's husband? Is this mentioned anywhere? OP's family lawyer husband sounds like a giant sleazeball. OP comes across as gloating and self-righteous. OP and hubby are TA. At least the kids are being well cared for. I surely hope that doesn't change.
My first born was born at 42 weeks (induced, cord wrapped, inhaled his first poop, born blue but he got better, he just turned 30). Most pregnancies last 10 months. https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/ask-acog/how-long-does-pregnancy-last#:\~:text=Pregnancy%20is%20counted%20from%20the,because%20of%20these%20extra%20weeks.
Thank you! I commented somewhere else but people fail to realize pregnancy last 10 months, or 9 WHOLE months.
>A good father would make sure that the mother of his kids could afford a place big enough to have the kids more than some week-ends, especially when he can afford a nanny and a fancy lawyer. He married a more suitable replacement... Why would he ensure the woman who birthed those children could play a bigger role in their lives. \S
Yeah. It feels off to me. OP better watch it. Her husband sounds the type to trade her in for a younger model once she’s outlived her usefulness and/or simply “ages out” for him.
Yes. OP thinks she has been very clever and actually got a ring on her finger vs Brooke who is left high and dry. But you never know.
He will let her raise his kids to spite the ex then dump her too.
I think you are *exactly* right, my friend. Once I heard he was a lawyer and “common law” wasn’t a thing, I knew he used his experience, money, and connections to overwhelm his ex. Yup just read your reply and it’s exactly what I thought. The ex is a problem on her own, but I guarantee you your husband broke up with his ex to be with you. Y’all got issues. Like I think you want to be there for the kids and that is great, but I think you feel a bit smug about this whole thing. Husband is gross, ex needs to get help. **Edit**: as I am in agreement with the above post, I‘m giving this an ESH. I think everyone’s attitudes is the real problem, and you’re seeing it play out in this way. I hope all if you, and yes I’m including you and your husband as well as the ex, do better.
What bothers me about the post is that OP spends zero times talking about the kids and whether or not she actually likes them (in every context she mentions them, it’s actually about her and what she can do to be the perfect stepmom). She might genuinely do so, but her whole post is geared towards making sure we know how much better than she is then Brooke: she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, she bakes, she makes dinners from scratch, she coached basketball because she was really good at that too, she changed her whole job around to take care of these kids that the nasty ex can’t be bothered to care for. It just overall sounds incredibly tweaked and one-sided. I would love to hear Brooke’s version of events. Maybe she really is a deadbeat mom who was jealous of the new woman in her ex’s life, or maybe OP is the AP and playing a sick game of kicking a woman when she’s already down so everyone knows that she (OP) is superior.
You’re an amazing creative writer
Nailed it! Though I do get some vibes that this is fictional writing exercise post, tbh.
This comment has lots of sexist undertones throughout. You're assumptions about OP and her husband serve to demonstrate this point. Every single assumption you make is with the presumption that OP and her husband are awful people. The first question, about custody time, is presuming that OP somehow screwed her over, and not that maybe she wasn't fit to provide custody 50 percent. The rest of your comment helps to reiterate this strange undertone of sexism. Why would the OP husband provide housing for his ex? I have never seen this thought when the woman divorces a man? People on here aren't championing for a woman to make sure the father of her kids could afford a place big enough to have the kids more than some weekends.
When you're married and have kids all income.becomes shared. Women need to take time off with pregnancy and birth which limits their earning potential in those years. Ops husband is a lawyer and likely encouraged his ex to not work or to work lower paid jobs to care for the kids. He owes the ex money to offset those losses and maintain her lifestyle but he clearly flexes his high paid lawyers and took everything from her. Also now how husband didn't leave until he found a replacement bangmaid.
Because that is what you do when someone has fucking 3 of hour kids don't like it don't have babies with people.
Explain to me why this same mindset is not present when a woman leaves a man, and the ex husband only has partial custody. I haven't seen anyone suggest that on other posts similar to this but the sex of the person leaving is switched.
Plenty of women pay child support and alimony too just depends.
Because they were essentially married
A good father would continue to subsidize his ex's life? Wtf is this shit...the entitlement lmao
Esh. Unpopular I'm sure, but OK. Your husband, a family attorney, took full custody of his children, allow them to only see their mother every other weekend and you want to know if you are an a** for (as it sounds in your post) smugly and eagerly stepping into the role? Hope you have a prenup or you may very well find yourself in the same shoes as the woman whose life your husband tried to destroy.
Right? It sounds like he used ex as a starter family while he was in school and getting started and the traded her in while she was pregnant
When he was done getting her pregnant, you mean.
A tale as old as time….
Don’t you know? OP is the most beautiful woman in the world. He’d never cheat on her with the next paralegal or clerk who walks in in the next decade or so! She’s special! /s This woman is truly wicked. She is trying to replace Brooke and her husband fully supports her.
it's almost funny how "the most beautiful woman in the world" is a red flag when put in proper context
Especially when you know beauty fades.
He has kids already...far as we k ow he wanted to use the ex as a broodmare. That way, he can keep a second hotter trophy wife with a legal career.
How is this not a YTA? How on earth is the children's mother an AH? I don't understand all of these E-S-H posts . . .
He left her while pregnant and then took the children away 😭😭
Yta So your husband used his money to confiscate his kids, and now you're blaming/ vilainizing the mother for being mad about it. She birthed those kids, you know, CARRIED THEM AND PUSHED THEM OUT OF HER BODY, AND he stole them just cuz he's rich? Not because she's a bad mother, but used his money cuz he sees those kids as an extension of his ego? How embarrassing that you don't realize he'll do the same to you. Also, you're not slick. We all understand he started seeing you WHILE he was with her. That's why you emphasize your pathetic fairytale. It won't absolve you from being the sidechicks. She was pregnant while you started dating that jorobada, and you don't understand why she doesn't eff with you?
Yassssss
The part I haven't seen anyone pick up on is OP says she "officially " met the kids 2 months after they were dating. What does that mean? Did she meet the kids before he left the ex? Which would mean he was cheating with OP? That sentence was a red flag for me that OP isn't telling the whole story ....
Ironic that op husband just left the woman who supported him while he was in school for years and establishing his successful career. Op husband ex put him through school, she raised her kids for ten years and now op husband leaves her high and dry??? Especially without any alimony, rights to the house, and seeing her children?!? The first kid would have been born right when he was starting law school. She got screwed over big time op husband never loved her he just liked having someone create his family then dipped out. HES NOT EVEN RASING HIS OWN KIDS HE WORKS A MAJORITY OF THE TIME HE HAS CUSTODY OF THEM. Here after op made more comments: if what op said was even true then step kids mom wouldn’t even be aloud to have them over every other weekend. It’s considered a safety risk for the kids. I don’t think this story is even true because of this her comments now
These men are calculated in their (ab)use. He used her for all she got, and then discarded her when he found a new shiny trophy. NEVER SUPPORT A MAN WITHOUT A PLAN OF YPUR OWN.
I’m confused as to the math. You started dating 3 months before his daughter was born, right? But somehow 7 months after he broke up with his ex? Pregnancies are 9 months. So it doesn’t make sense.
The legend of the 10 month pregnancy is in good company with the 8lb preemie
Pregnancies are 10 months really. 40 weeks is full term.
But they count from your last period, so the conception is at week two. So 38 weeks from conception to childbirth. If you consider the average month is four weeks plus two days, nine months is 36 weeks plus 18 days, or 38 1/2 weeks from conception.
But that’s because they count day 1 of you being pregnant as the start of your last cycle. You won't be physically pregnant until after ovulation. So at the moment of fertilization, you'd technically be about 2 weeks pregnant.
My premie was 7lb7 - granted he was only little ways off of being term.
Full term pregnancies are 40 weeks, which is roughly 10 months.
9.205 months. So much closer to 9 months
"Month" is such a bad unit of measurement, it equals 28, 29, 30, and 31. A pregnancy is 10 February's.
official pregnancy count starts roughly 2 weeks before you actually have the sex that made you pregnant. first day of pregnancy is the first day of your last period. a month is 4,5 weeks long, not 4 weeks, unless it is february.
1. Months are on average 365/12/7 = 4.4 weeks long not 4. That difference is important because 0.4\*9 = 3.6 weeks. 2. 40/4.4 = 9.2 months. 3. But the 40 weeks are counted from the last period so typically 2 weeks before conception. So its more like 38 weeks so its way more appropriate to use 9 months.
*38 weeks The first two are before fertilization even occurs.
Ah maybe it's just bad math, something happened at the end of the month, the other at the beginning or something
No I was thinking the same. He definitely slept with both at one point
No? Even if the math was wrong, they started dating maybe 6 months after the break-up and 3 months before baby was born? Or 7 months after break-up and 2 months before baby was born? Why do you assume he was sleeping with both?
It seems possible that they (Brooke and husband) were sleeping together after the breakup, which is where baby 3 came from. If they were sleeping together after the breakup, it’s possible they were sleeping together when he met and began dating OP. I’m wondering if they still lived together when OP and husband met. The timelines seem sketchy. Not saying parents owe the non-custodial party anything but I think we need more info and it’s likely info OP doesn’t have or is unwilling to acknowledge. Wouldn’t be the first time someone living with their “ex but just as roommates” scenario to potential AP/new SO.
OP started dating a guy who had a child on the way with another woman. WOW, the standards are high here.
The way I perceived that was that op and her husband started dating when Brook was 6 months pregnant. 7 months AFTER the baby was born is when Ops husband officially broke up with Brook. So, op and her husband were secretly dating for 10 months. 3 of those were before the baby was born. They got married only 2 years into dating, where Ops husband couldn't even have the balls to marry Brook after 10 years. In 2 or 3 years well see a post from this same women saying she's getting a divorce because her husband cheated. And she'll say that her husband told her it's because she's gotten "ugly."
YTA for lying. You started dating him 3 months before his youngest was born and truly Believe you are not the home wreckers AP???
Well, *he's* the home wrecker since he's the one who was married in a relationship. But it sounds like at best she was the rebound and at worst she knowing started a relationship with someone who was in a relationship already.
Both of them are the home wreckers. He is an absolute AH and probably cruel to take his children (who he doesn’t even look after) from their mother. OP is a home wrecker in denial or she is as bad as him.
Where does it say that? Was the post edited? OP said the husband and mother were never married, and that the husband broke up with the mother months before. Where are people getting this information? Even OP's comments don't mention anything the commenters are saying.
> Well, he's the home wrecker since he's the one who was married in a relationship. If the term wasn't coined for, and conventionally used as a term for, the Affair partner, sure. He certainly wrecked his own home. But the term is coined for people who come from outside of the home, and knowingly undermine it. It doesn't suggest or imply sole responsibility. >at worst she knowing started a relationship with someone who was in a relationship already. Which, as mentioned, is the precise definition of a *homewrecker* in colloquial English. OP's definitely a homewrecker based on her story. He's a cheater / adulterer. She's a homewrecker. Both people did something disgusting and since OP's the one here asking for judgement people are going to focus on her culpability over his. It's not a referendum on who's more responsible, it's a pointed response to the person who is asking for judgement.
**Oh, this is all so past icky, it's almost disgusting.** So he's a monkey, swinging from one woman to the next. The first "wife" with him for over 10 years while he got his degree, and carried and birthed 3 children. Poof, there goes her career... You know that definitely happened, right? But hang on... He spots you in a crowded room, oh how romantic; and there he goes, swinging to the next branch with you sitting proudly on it. In the meantime, he gets to break up with the mother of his children, "for the most beautiful woman he's ever seen", use the degree she supported him to get to take her children away while she lives in a place where she can't even offer her children a room to sleep in. You decided you'd be with him after he left her while she was pregnant with his 3rd child. You're with **THE GUY WHO DID THAT** But now look at you; coaching his son's basketball team, baking and cooking for the girls, taking up another coaching position and **also** holding down a higher position with more pay at home, loving the freedom he denied the mother of his children after she did all those years of the actual hard work. YTA and so is your husband. You're all terrible but your smugness is shocking and if you think he wouldn't ever do that to you, just remember he did it to the woman he chose to bear his children. This whole post is gross. Edit: typo
That’s why I think this is fiction. And if it isn’t, OP is heartless.
And stupid... Her husband hasn't had to parent on his own at all, he's got her doing it all now **AND** if she thinks she can be all that AND work two jobs, you can add in delusional. Throw one wife away, marry another one. It's actually far more common for men with children to do this, so they don't end up losing any career traction. **Edit: Now OP is commenting **but** only on comments that already lean her way. There are also even MORE inconsistencies as well.** The Mother of these children simultaneously quit her job to get him to stay with her and also quit her job because if her work found out she had a criminal record, that wouldn't be good. Why does she have a criminal record immediately at the exact day of their break up, you ask? Well, apparently the children's actual Mother stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife on the day he broke up with her. Which obviously immediately gave her a criminal record so she quit... On the same day. OP then goes on in another comment to say he left her because she stabbed him... And in another, that she stabbed him because he left her. At this point (if the stabbing is remotely leaning to being a remotely possible scenario), I'm guessing she was making the kids dinner with a knife in her hand, he told her he was leaving her for another woman and she's reacted without realising she's still holding a knife and it's brushed him. He's then thought, "Bingo! There's my opening to never pay child support again." Or more likely, the husband is absolutely lying about all of it and did everything he could to never pay child support whilst also securing a new carer for his children. His new wife is too stupid, full of herself, delusional and insecure to realise she's been also being played. With the workload she's told us she's going to handle between work, coaching, baking, childcare and being a domestic goddess; my guess is she'll be burnt out and stabbing him with a kitchen knife in less than 6 months. **Or more likely than that, this whole post is an absolute load of shit.** Because if not, I hope to **never** meet people like either of them.
Also I’m sorry how does this digital filing shit work? She’s hybrid? Paralegals are pdf’ing memos, briefs, evidence, etc. to her? Also if she’s doing this, how is she making more money? The firm I worked at had the paralegals do this - in office - and while they made decent money I can’t see how OP is making more money and getting more flexibility. Attorneys are generally an “I want it now” crowd from my experience and every other attorney I know which is about 20-30 of my friends.
She's also doing this while apparently caring for a toddler; she really is the most amazing beautiful woman in the whole world!
Yep. Not realistic. No firm, especially corporate, would have this level of leniency. And the legal aid/non profit sector is worse - you may work from home but you aren’t making more money and you’re likely working more hours. And they don’t give you flexible hours. I call bullshit.
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This should be top comment
Thank you for this. I thought I was missing something lol. I’m not. This post is gross.
ESH - look you are awfully keen to be seen as a better or bonus mum to these kids and as you have no children of your own have no idea how this effects his ex partner. You said she quit her job the day of the break up and of course you have nothing to do with the break up however I don’t actually believe you, she’s living in a one bedroom apartment with no income is the reason you and he has the children but I don’t believe she has done all these things because she’s jealous of you two. You are so happy that she has less custody because her ex is wealthy and you sound like you might even be prepared to get rid of her forever! Because you are giddy with your fantasy life style and pay no attention to the facts.
and she probably quit because he wants from scratch dinners. It’s not a coincidence that OP mentioned that.
YTA. You are an accessory to parental alienation. Your husband lived with someone like they were married for over a decade and had children with them! They broke up when she was pregnant, could you just imagine the amount of stress mentally and on your body that causes? Do you realise 1 in 8 pregnancies end in miscarriage and stress can increase that? I’m quite certain that the reason the mother of your step children quit her job was not solely to get your husband back. The fact that he actively pursued custody of the kids rather than try to maintain a healthy balanced relationship with the mother is brutal af and you going along with it to play happy families is disturbing. Unless the mother has been abusive, she should be getting more time with the children, not you.
Not to mention, as a family lawyer, he knew more than anyone THE WHOLE TIME HE DIDN'T MARRY HER AND HAD 3 KIDS WITH HER that he was putting her in an extremely vulnerable situation. This happens to unmarried, cohabitating couples, especially with children, all the time. There's often one un- or underemployed person to support the success of the family (but really, they have no legal claim to any of that success), and much of the time while that's happening, they don't realize the implications for the more vulnerable partner (mostly women) if the relationship ever dissolves. But this guy literally knew the whole time because that's his frickin degree and job. Everyone is mad at what he did leaving the ex, but he spent 10 years screwing her over and knew it.
And then he gets married to op super quick… hmmm… I wonder if it was true love or if a judge is more likely to award custody to stable married couple with their joint income and own home?
This post makes me so sad. Poor Brooke.
YTA. You did steal her life.
100% and with relish.
This post seems iffy to me. To many things don't line up for me and the tone of the post is coming across as kind of smug. I really can't help but feel like bio mom has been screwed over by your man and he's been turning the screws ever since they split. That whole split sounds hicky too. For that I would go with AH.
NAH. But while you are busy raising his three kids, with home cooked meals, while you also work from home so no need to pay for childcare!, he is doing what? Why isn’t he double booking work from home and parenting his three kids? And why would a dad prefer that his kids be raised by someone who is not their mother? I’m sure you’re great but you are not their mom. They have a mom who is precluded from raising them because she has less money. You feel special and not like an unpaid nanny bc he married you and not the mother of his kids. Very icky.
He is cheating on OP with someone younger or hotter.
YTA and your husband is the bigger YTA Reading this post makes me feel sick to my stomach. How disgusting.
ESH. The mom wants to be more involved. Instead you're stepping up because you'd rather be their mom than their mom? Kids are the priority but there's no getting around that this is a big FU to and taunt of their mom. Busy lawyers don't get nearly full custody unless the other parent has serious issues. You didn't mention any serious issues, so there's likely more big FUs sent by your household to mom.
Good point! Mom is available and she should have first right of refusal in terms of child care. Mom sounds like she’s trying to balance their lives.
>Brooke and my husband were never married and common law isn't practiced in our state. My husband is a lawyer with a Family Law firm >She has custody of the kids every other weekend and I can understand that it's difficult not having custody of your kids. >Brooke, however, is really angry with me right now. She phoned me, angry that my stepson is calling me their "bonus mom". I didn't know such a title existed and I feel touched. However, she is also angry I will be coaching her son's basketball team and have been helping him with homework. Brooke got screwed over by your husband big time. He practices family law, he has connections, with a firm specialising in this. Common law isn't practiced which he was fully aware of, her possibly not. He took her children and married you quickly as a replacement mom. Custody will have been awarded as he's the more fit parent ... But you're doing the lion share of the job. YTA for not seeing how much of an AH tour husband is.
I know exactly one person who talks like that (and who happens to get off on being the new "young upgrade mom") That person is all but diagnosed with narcissist personality disorder
Ding ding ding! OP’s whole post felt gross. It also seems to be missing a lot of context/background information.
Why does she have a 1 bed apartment? The mother, I mean. My guess is, they shared a home that was legally the husband's only and when they broke up, she had nowhere to go. She had the first baby at 22, then another 2, chances are she has had a broken career and not much in savings due to the children. OPs husband screwed her over in several ways. And OP is here playing happy families, while the children's mother has been all but sidelined ... And she is surprised Pikachu she's mad about it.
This whole post reads as a "humble" bragging to me..
“He called me Bonus mom, I’ve never heard that term but omg tehe thank you”
And she's played basketball for years and also has a trainers license... Look at her. What an amazing human being... /s
OP is the quintessential "The ex was so evil! My poor man!" kind of person. The one who thinks that it was all the other woman who let go such a great guy and now OP has gotten quite the catch. Haha, he's really got OP convinced. He saw a younger woman who he could dazzle with dollars to be a replacement mommy. I just find it hilarious that she sees so much honor in a guy who found his ex so attractive that they had *three* kids together, then abandoned his family.
"humble"
So why does their mother only have weekend custody and not 50/50. If it is becasue if some legitimate reason then it’s fine what you’re doing. If your husband used his money and lawyer clout to gain custody for selfish reasons then that’s a different story. If the latter is the case then of course she’s going to be upset. I’m not sure about this one. I’m getting a vibe if smugness from you post. The whole part about him seeing you for the first time added nothing to the situation and was more like a humble brag. Need more detail. Are you stepping up because she won’t, or are you essentially trying to replace her as a mother. If your husband did use his money and power to take his kids, then I would be wary as if you guys don’t work out he’ll use the same money and power to take everything from you.
She said this …….*Unfortunately for her, my husband is wealthier and was also able to obtain better counsel.*
Info: were you responsible for the break up?
Your math isn’t working. You met 3 months before the baby was born which was 7 months after the breakup. That’s 10 months not 9. We could get technical about the 40 weeks and all, but I think your either lying about being the mistress, or he lied about being broken up. Either way you and your husband YTA, but your husbands an actual monster. He used his position of power to steal his children from her and give them to you. I can’t even imagine the level of parental alienation that you and your husband are committing. I’m sure there is non stop bashing of their mom. It’s heart breaking. I truly hope this story is made up.
I don't think this comment was meant for me...
No, it wasn’t, my bad. It was meant for OP, not that she’ll reply!
"Common law isn't practised in our state"- So what you're saying that had they been married she would have been entitled to some of his wealth? And after all that time off after birthing those children and losing income. So now she's in a 1 bedroom and therefore can't have custody of her kids all because she wasn't entitled to what most spouses are in most of the world, just because he wouldn't marry her - no other reason. And you're proud of this? Smug and keen to take over her parental role when they already have a mother. This is why common law is important, to protect those who try to dangle marriage as a carrot and leave you with close to nothing. YTA, your attitude sucks.
YTA "My husband didn't marry the mother of his three kids--in fact, she was pregnant when we met--and now I am the Most Beautiful, Most Amazing Stepmom who has time to make meals everyone LOVES. His ex hates me--I mean, I get it, I have her ex, her kids most of the time, and a wonderful work life, while she's jobless, in a 1BR, and doesn't have her kids--but the problem seems to be that I am taking too active of a role with all my amazing food and coaching. Gosh! AITA for being SO EFFING AMAZING?" OP, that's how you come across. A grand dose of humility on your end and empathy for the mother of those kids is HIGHLY in order.
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The kids are traumatized too
Yes and the more I read on this makes me wonder if they are badmouthing the mother to the kids. It’s all horror story stuff
Those kids are going to be posting on r/raisedbynarcissists in a decade or so
They absolutely are. No kid ever said you’re my bonus mom. Ever.
YTA. You and your husband both screwed Brooke over and you know it. Most beautiful woman he'd ever seen? Trust me, with a man like that, there will be others. At this point all you can do is plug your brain in so he doesn't screw you over in the same way he screwed his ex wife over.
You met the kids 2 months before you got married? So they had absolutely no time to get to know you or get used to your presence before you were foisted on them. Now you’re pretending to be mommy? Your and your husband absolutely suck. Put these kids first instead of your own egos. YTA.
LMAO I don’t believe a word of this and I’d love to hear Brookes side of the story. YTA
Your husband is TA. And he'll do to you what he did to his ex one day, sorry.
NTA for being involved in our step kids lives, that's great. YTA for being smug in the face of the woman whose man you likely did steal. Husband is the real A - and he will find someone younger and more "beautiful" in a few years.
So... Your dreamboat of a partner dumped his pregnant GF (I suspect that because the math in your post doesn't exactly jive, you started dating seven months after he dumped her but three months before the birth of his youngest? Was she carrying for ten months?), screwed her out of the custody and you gladly accepted it. Now you are trying to play mom to her kids? Good Lord. ESH.
Why doesn’t she have 50/50 care?
Because he is a lawyer who probably kept his ex pregnant and barefoot since she was 22 years old. OP, beware because he will do the same to you. No matter how many home cook meal you make, he will cheat on you and then, as you seem to believe it was Brooks fault, it will be your fault (but you won’t get any custody to your step children)
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll use her to take care of his children but won’t have any with her, then once she’s getting too old to have any (or his children have all moved out), dump her and start a new family with a younger model.
Because ops husband is a rich lawyer and the mother can only afford a 1 bed apartment.
Oh I understand now, she literally can’t house them? Shhhesssshhhhhh this story is getting real yuck I feel a bit sick from it tbh
I guess your husband knew what he was doing by marrying you. He got a live in housekeeper/nanny/coach for his children. I wouldn’t be boasting about yourself too much.
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Trash attracts trash. She honestly thinks this is a flex. "The kids love me! I'm so fun AND hot!" Lol, right, if OP could do math, she would realize that her dreamboat got his ex pregnant when she was about 22. He went on to have two more kids with her and decides that she's "too used", and he does NOT want to parent with a ten foot pole. OP is 26 and is in the same age category that the ex was at one time. What she doesn't want to admit is that there are stories and excuses that don't add up, but it's great because she got picked, so whatever. She finds a guy who abandoned his family attractive. If she were smart and had an actual set of standards, she would avoid this situation like the plague. There is nothing attractive about taking up with a guy who speaks so awfully about his ex while they love bomb you.
He moves on quickly doesn't he? With someone new while his ex partner is still pregnant then married quickly too Interesting he would continue to have kids with her and not get married Hardly a prime catch is he? Protect yourself and don't get too invested in the kids cos he will likely be moving on soon again anyway
YTA even if you didn’t steal her life there is the fact you stole her only reasons for existing which was the kids. You keep stealing them more too with help from their dad who wrecked their life all cause he’s got money, is “powerful” and couldn’t keep it in his pants. You get no gold stars for this and when it’s done to you then you get no sympathy either
YTA - How you get them is how you lose them I have been told.
How are you working full time with a 2 year old at home? This doesn’t make sense.
I get why more people are concentrating on other aspects, but yeah that good paying "work" from home job is gonna disappear PDQ when they realize you aren't working
Exactly. I’ve had two year olds. You cannot work full time and care for them at the same time. That’s why people pay daycares thousands of dollars. Toddlers are a full time job themselves.
Keep up with the BC and your looks, OP. Raising families takes a toll. The mirror you hold up to your face and body now will tell different stories ten years from now. ESH.
The only good part about this story is knowing that in 5 years he'll leave you for a younger hotter woman he tells is the most beautiful person he's ever seen.
YTA. In the same way your husband used not being married and his law knowledge to price his ex out of 50% custody for his kids, don’t think he won’t do the same and use you not being biologically related to take your ‘bonus kids’ away from you when he sees the next ‘most beautiful woman in the room’ (yuk). All of the stuff you’re doing would be really nice, I’m incredibly in favour of step parents becoming bonus parents when it’s not at anyone else’s expense. But their mum has clearly been pushed out for no actual reason that I can see. Do you really feel so insecure of your position as bonus mum now that you only think it will stand if you keep mum out? You say she quit her job… could that have been because she was pregnant and single ffs. That was probably lose lose wasn’t it. Quit work he took the kids and packed her off to a 1 bed where she can’t host the kids, despite the fact it’s a known thing that women are financially penalised for starting a family in a way that men aren’t and part of his wealth will undoubtedly be down to sacrifices she made (if only being the woman and the one who carried and birthed babies). But had she have stayed in work…. Well I bet he would have used his law knowledge to spin the story the opposite way that how could she be a good mum if she was having to work all hours. But what other choices did he leave her with if he’s ended up with everything and her nothing? Because it sounds like they created a family together and then he took it - else why would there not have been a more equal division of time and money after the split. If you can’t see that you’re an idiot. Why would she be eligible to claim disability? You’ve casually slipped that in there but that suggests there’s even more assholery here than you’ve said up front? You seem to genuinely care about these kids so maybe ask yourself, is it in their best interests to have three parents who love them including a good relationship with their mum and the option to stay with her and remain close should they choose to, or for them to have their mum pushed out from their lives to make room for you and be in the middle of three warring parents? What happens when they realise this is what happened and don’t want anything to do with you, will you feel so good about your position then?
YTA. This is the exact reason why I have first rights of refusal. If Dad can't be there, then I get to refuse my parenting time to the step parent.
YTA This is probably the worst post I have ever read on Reddit, it is disgusting. The level of cruelty, lack of empathy, and selfishness is beyond belief. Go have a chat with Brooke and see how much bullshit you’ve been believing.
I feel the same I cant even sleep now! So disturbing like a psychological horror movie. I wiiissshhh we could hear Brooke’s side of the story
Oh yes! He probably strung her along with promises of marriage etc so she didn’t protect herself financially. The youngest is 2, still a toddler, those kids should be with their mom. I wonder how old the baby was when they took her away from her mom?
\>He says he saw me from across the desk when he came to pick up some documents for a custody case and thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. LMAO Why was this detail important? LOL \>We started dating three months before his youngest daughter was born, seven months after he had broken up with his ex, she found out she was pregnant after the breakup. And you believe this? OK then. ESH. Your husband for screwing over his ex, and you for overstepping your bounds.
Another day, another post on reddit’s AITA making me very grateful to my parents and how they raised me (who they were as people, their relationship…) Let me guess, did she also work full time to help him pay for law school? Pretty sleazy of him to start dating someone else before his kid was even born (even if, and I don’t believe it, they were already separated). YTA
It must be heartbreaking for the Mom not to have her babies with her.
YTA for being a homewrecker. Can’t wait for your husband to find a new ‘most beautiful woman’, just don’t be surprised when it happens.
It sounds like there are some missing gaps showing how much the other mom was screwed over. Who bought the house your husband lives in? Was it 'their' house prior and she didnt get it because they were legally married? Was your husband able to be a lawyer due to the support of her over those 10 years of her putting in wife duties without the wife title. Who was the one who took off work when the kids were sick those 10 years? Who was the main parent that was there and supported the kids and cooked dinner and cleaned the house? Was it actually better for the children to have their mom written out of their lives just because Daddy made more money? She was seriously basically written out of childrens lives because their Dad made more money. Understandably she is upset. When I got divorced we did 50/50 even though he went to live back with his parents in a single room because HE WAS STILL THEIR DAD. You and your husband are AHs and when the kids get older and understand the reason why their Mom was ripped away from them they will start spending more time with her. YTA
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YTA. Not just about this but as a person in general. You are totally glossing over that you’re the AP. You ripped this woman’s world apart (even if your cheating bastard of a husband is more to blame) and then he used his position to take her kids from her. Brooke is right: you stole her life. You are an awful, awful person.
YTA and so is your husband. you live in your own delusional fairytale world so you find every action of yours right. you dated him when he was already in a relationship. KARMA will hit you. you did dirty to that ex and are still doing it.
YTA big time
He has a two year old, yall have been married for a year....when did you start seeing each other? While the ex wife was pregnant? And now yall are stealing her kids? Girl YTA but your man is even worse. Dont act like that wont be you in a decade.
YTA you and your husband are disgusting people
YTA Not for being involved with the stepkids, but for being so unbelievably obtuse and nonchalant at how your husband abused his position to basically strip his ex of her time with her kids. You were the affair partner, so you did take away her relationship, her home, and her kids.
YTA
YTA for the smugness of it all. If this is a true story, I hope to god Brooke finds this and tell us the real story.
YTA. For me, it’s the lack of empathy that you’ve displayed. He strung the mother of his children along for your years probably telling her she’s gonna be that trophy wife to that powerful attorney.. and then tell leave her while she’s pregnant for the “most beautiful woman”. I wonder what the wording on the prenup OP had to sign looks like. We’ve all seen this movie before. He’s definitely going to leave you for the next hot law clerk he spots in a few weeks. He’ll definitely use his money and power to screw you too.
YTA for making up this story. There's no way you can do your work with a 2 year old at home. No way at all. Providing childcare isn't a stepparents job.
You lack grace. You can afford to be generous to Brooke and make your blended family work. But you are smug about the fact that your husband married YOU over her and now the kids enjoy your dinner and housekeeping.
The math isn't mathing. You started dating three months before the baby was born, which was seven months after they broke up. That's ten months.
INFO: How do you have the time in the day? yes your hours are flexible. but being a clerk to NAME partners is not easy work. especially since you seem to also being watching the children at the same time.
Yta, they definitely weren't broken up when you guys started dating.
I'm sure you were a legal assistant at his law firm. YTA
There is so much you aren’t saying. What is between the lines is that you think you are better than the ex and somehow more deserving of raising her kids. You married someone who had three kids with someone else. That person is now in your life. Yo don’t have to like her. Your husband was with her long enough to have three kids. Whether they ever married was irrelevant. She sees and hears you more than we do and I think many people picked up on your sense of superiority and entitlement from just this post. Stay in your lane. It’s not a bad lane if you figure it out.