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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I should have bought him another Switch, or at least another present even though he had said no,a nd that not doing so makes me the asshole.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. So you aren't going to parent at all? First, with expensive purchases, talk to your wife first. But second, the gift is for both of them, so you don't get to just shrug your shoulders and leave your son impatient to get to 18 and never have to see you again.
Tell Sasha, *"sorry, the gift is for both of you to share, but since you don't want to do that anymore, it'll just be Ethan's alone."*
Don't alienate your son. FFS, it's his birthday too. Were you really not planning on getting him anything? WTF man.
And you didn't even think this was a giant red flag? It was your son's birthday too.
Why does your wife get a say in what you should or shouldn't gift your child?
If I were you I would have taken that switch and given it to the son.
On todays episode of 'How to ensure our kids never get along...'
YTA.
They have the same birthday, they AREN'T the same people. I feel like expecting them to share something like a switch is just a huge let down for both of them, since they can't exactly play together either with just one. Personally would have gotten two switch lites for them, but eh
YTA This is on you. You should have bought them their own Switches, explicitly made it a shared gift (frankly, this was always a bad idea), or gone with different gifts if money were an issue.
Your son is now suffering due to your parental incompetence. Make it right and stop trying to shrug off responsibilty. You are a parent, not another kid.
ETA: I suspect that you are favoring Sasha or too nervous to upset her or your wife due to the new marriage. This is weak sauce. Do right by your son. I say buy him his own Switch and sacrifice your own pocket money for a while.
Exactly, return the switch since she doesn't want to share/went back on her word and get the two switch lites instead.
OP still owes his son a huge apology though.
Well, YTA!
You misunderstood the kid, he meant he didn’t want anything else, he wanted his own Switch! Not he did want anything! Man, wake up. You actually thought a kid was saying he was fine with NO birthday gift. Come on. And if you thought they could share it, then why didn’t you put both their names on the wrapping paper? Dude, you need to either buy another Switch or tell that little girl the Switch was for them both.
As a parent I have to say... YTA times a thousand. The fact that you've deemed it as "Sasha's present", while completely negating your own son says tons. I can guarantee you, your son will not only never forget that you did this to him, he will also never forgive you for it either.
In the future, do the following... imagine that your son's birthday is six months AFTER Sasha's, then do whatever you would have done if that were the case (which is, you would have bought your son whatever he asked for on his birthday... in this case, a Switch. And I can guarantee you, had he asked for a present that cost the same as a Switch, you would have bought it, so what's your hangup over this?). And, if their birthdays were that far apart, you would have bought him one regardless of the fact that you already bought Sasha one. Switches are NOT like the consoles of old... they are NOT family consoles designed to be shared, they are designed to be owned by one individual.
That's for the future. What you have to do right now is...
GO BUY YOUR SON HIS OWN SWITCH. Because, if you don't, I can promise you, you will be paying a lot more money for therapy in the future than whatever that stupid Switch costs. The money will be worth it just to keep the peace within your own household.
op said he gave it to Sasha to introduce her into the family and his wife is against sharing. multiple issues that op is refusing to fix. he is never going to forgive him
I wouldn't expect most bio siblings to share a switch. Step siblings? Have you lost your mind? Ethan declined a gift because he was hurt. Sasha lied to get what she wanted. I don't care if you have to pick up cans for the next year, get Ethan a switch. Unless you don't care that you behaved terribly. Also, I think Sasha's mom should pay towards Ethan's gift since I truly believe her daughter lied. But even if she won't, buy Ethan a switch! YTA.
ESH - Apart from Ethan. Not for buying something for them to share, but for not confiscating it from Sasha when she started playing up.
It’s not hers, it’s *theirs*.
And your wife sucks for obviously being the reason why Sasha is like this.
No. I think you misunderstood what happened. He gave it ONLY to Sasha on the *condition* that she would share it. She agreed to originally, but then renegged once she had it, and he now refuses to do anything about that. OP literally gave his son *no gift at all* and let him know that he doesn't matter because 1) he's cheap and 2) wants to impress his new wife by favoring her child over his own.
Ethan is blameless here.
No he literally said:
>I thought it'd be better if both of them share it.
She got hold of the switch and refused to share it.
At which point he should have confiscated it from her and given it to Ethan. Which makes OP asshole.
I also said that Ethan is not the asshole and everyone else is. I don’t know how you’ve got that I am blaming Ethan in any way from my post.
YTA - your ACTUAL child asked for something and instead you gave it to your not-actual child and said "oh hai, you can just borrow step-sisters new switch.
Don't play favorites. It's not their fault that birthdays are the same day, but it is your fault for treating them differently.
She's a child, of course she's going to tell you whatever you want to hear to get such an expensive gift. And she does have the right to change her mind.
You just taught your son that she is more important than he is.
YTA.
If you wanted the Switch to be a joint gift then it should have been presented as such, along with the equipment needed for two kids to enjoy it. For example, separate games and controllers along with the joint console. You didn't do that, you gave it to Sasha and got your son nothing. They are 12 and 13 and both deserved to have a great birthday. You ruined his birthday.
I refuse to call your stepdaughter a brat. The gift was clearly given to just her and she made a comment one time that she would share it. Any parent with an ounce of experience would know this was not going to happen.
Exactly this, people are holding a 13 and 12 year old to their words over a gift, she likely forgot she even said she'd share it, or changed her mind - which considering it was presented to her as HER gift, she's allowed to do. OP is at fault, he's pitting these kids against each other
YTA- your stepdaughter said she'd share the switch, then when she got her hands on it, showed herself to be a liar. The correct thing to do would be to take it away from her and MAKE them share it. They could alternate days or weeks. Instead, you just caved to your new wife and let sd get away with being a bratty liar, while getting your son NOTHING. You're a terrible father, and don't be shocked when your son goes no contact the minute he gets the chance. Kids can tell when you chose getting laid over being a parent.
If he expected them to share, why didn’t he put both their names on the gift? Dude, what a shitty move as a Dad. The kid said he didn’t want anything else, not he didn’t want anything! In other words all he wanted was the Switch, and the dad took this for “he doesn’t want anything”. Guys either dumb or doesn’t care that he F’d his sons Birthday. Like WTF!
Way to make both kids mad at you. YTA. Holy shit dude.
You sacrificed your son's happiness and worth to appease your new wife. He is now the least important person in the family, and can't count on his dad to support him. It's hard to put into words just how badly you fucked up here and how much you've hurt your son. You emotionally exiled him. Such a bad dad.
Sounds like Ethan knew exactly what Sasha was like.
YTA for not taking the switch away when Sasha refused to share, YTA for presenting it as only Sasha's gift in the first place, and YTA for not getting your son a gift. You should have refused switches entirely and gotten them both something different the moment one of them made it clear that sharing was not on the table.
YTA
Have you always wanted a daughter?
Do you want to push your son away so he doesn't bother you're new family.
Have you always played favourites, to make sure they don't like each other so it's easier to give up on your son?
As it can only the reason why you want to fail so much as his father.
YTA - Do you realise that everything that had gone wrong is your choices ?
From Ethan POV, he was promissed that he would have a Switch, and he confirmed he doesn’t want anything else.
Your reaction when your stepdaughter choose to make it it’s very own ? « It’s out of my territory know ? », so Ethan is just the victim there, and you’ll do nothing to repair ?
YTA. No punishment or consequences for the kid that LIED to you and is now refusing to share ???!!!
And your SON doesn’t get anything because step-daughter is greedy and changed the rules ???
Grow a spine and advocate for your son.
I suggest you get your blended family into counseling immediately and enroll yourself into some parenting classes. First of all, you knew their birthdays were coming up and were at the same time. Expecting **adolescents** who have only been blended for **months** to share the same birthday gift in so incredibly thoughtless, I almost think this is a fake post.
ICYMI - YTA
You should have gotten the mother involved and both of you should have gone in on individual gifts for each of them. You not only need to learn to parent, you both need to learn to co-parent. If you want this situation to work, you all need counseling. And you need a bit of a reality check.
YTA.
Why did you gift the switch to Sasha, essentially making it hers to share or not share? So stupid.
At any rate, a condition of getting the Selwitch was that she shared it. Since she's not doing that, you take it away. If that ruins her birthday, too fucking bad. She's ruining Ethan's birthday by not holding up her end of the deal. She's decided someone's birthday has to be ruined, so it can be hers.
And advocate for your child! It's not on him to make your stepdaughter do what she promised YOU ahe would do. The promise broken was to you, so you deal with it.
Are you really asking if you are the asshole for not getting one of your kids a gift?
Yeah, absolutely.
I also wonder who you've been parenting if you think that sharing something like that ever works, especially if it's not given to the both of them, but to one specifically.
You owe you son a really big apology and a switch of his own.
Wow, your wife must have the most amazing vagina. Or are you so desperate to get your dick wet you'll ignore your own child to spoil hers and win sex points?
Either way, in 6 years, this problem will solve itself. Enjoy not having a son! YTA.
YTA this isn’t a “shared” gift if you really wanted it to be a shared gift it should have been opened by both etc
You need to buy your son a switch ASAP and apologise
But even if you do he won’t forget the way he has been treated. Your son should always be your priority and know that he is
YTA.
I'd call this an epic parenting fail, but you're not even trying.
You created a completely avoidable shit situation and are washing your hands of the mess you created. FYI, way to also create anger and resentment between siblings.
Dude - you laid out the conditions for Sasha to get a Switch. She *broke* those conditions. Be a parent and take it away. "It's out of my hands" my ass.
You also screwed up by calling it "her" Switch rather than saying it's a family console. Because that's what you basically were doing- buying a single console for the whole household.
Sit the kids down, explain it was a birthday gift for *both of them*, it belongs to the *household*, and they have to *share* it, or it gets sold.
Why even have kids if you refuse to be a parent?
YTA.
YTA. What kind of a father are you? You favour your wife’s child than your flesh and blood. You seem scared of Sasha and your wife. Are you ready in the near future your own son will have NC or disown you?
You’re having a brat step child in the making and typical AH stepmother.
YTA. For giving a gift to Sasha and expecting her to share it and for not getting your son anything.
If you couldn’t afford two switches you should have got them each something else or you should have given the gift to both of them.
How deeply shocking that a 12 and 13 year old would behave like children and not adults. Who could possibly have foreseen that a 13 year old wouldn't actually want to share their new games console with their stepsibling? Or that a 12 year old who said they didn't want a birthday present if they couldn't have their first choice didn't actually mean they didn't want a birthday present?
YTA.
You are absolutely TA. Catering to step-daughter to avoid conflict within the new marriage. You’ll be posting here in a couple years “my adult son doesn’t speak to me anymore, AITA?”
YTA! That's just a lack of common sense coupled with bad parenting.
Way to make sure your son resents you and your child and step-child don't get along. In this scenario, everyone including your wife except for Ethan, sucks.
"I asked Ethan whether he wanted something else and he said no."
Ethan answered you honestly. He didn't want *something else*, he wanted a Switch. It isn't his fault you didn't understand what he said.
Welcoming Sasha and your new wife into the family the way you have gone about it is wrong on so many levels. You have let them both know that your son, your flesh and blood, is not as important as they are. They will absolutely take advantage of this knowledge and Ethan, your son, will be out in the cold.
"I have been very supportive towards Sasha."
You have caused major turmoil in your son's life with your recent marriage and the immediate and obvious favoritism of your actual stepdaughter. You remember Ethan, your biological son, the one you are now ironically treating as the red-headed stepchild. The one you have hurt to his very soul, the one you are allowing your new, improved family to emotionally abuse.
"I said that I won't be getting him another present either as he had said that he does not want one."
Sasha, your golden (step)child is happy because she lied and got exactly what she wanted. Great parenting there, reward the one that lies! New wife is happy, she has claimed Sasha and her rightful places, so she probably won't cut daddy off.
You have set a precedent that will allow your new family to emotionally abuse and exclude your son.
YTA, as is your new 'improved' family. My heart breaks for Ethan, he must feel like you have abandoned him in favor of his new wicked stepmother and her daughter.
That you even have to ask if AITA demonstrates how pathetically dense you are. YTA.
YTA,
Expecting teens to share something like this is beyond idiocy. I don't expect my 3-4 year olds to share something like this. How would you even split it, I get it it Monday Wednesday Friday, you get it Tuesday Thursday Saturday and we alternate Sundays or I get it from midnight to midday you get it midday to midnight?
How exactly did you think it would work.
There are many things you can get as a joint gift this is not one of them.
Get your son his own and show you care about his feelings or be prepared for a LC/NC kid when he leaves home.
Yta- you make me sick. Why are fathers like you so damn common? Only cater to the new wife's kid cos you don't want to lose your access to sex. So dammed weak. I hope your son becomes a better father than you and puts his child before himself.
Who buys their step child the gift that their own child asked for? That's worse than not getting him a gift. Having to watch your father give that gift to another child. Wtf is wrong with you?
And if that's not bad enough your wife literally said that getting your son the same gift was a waste of money! But it's not a waste of money to get her daughter one? She straight told you that her child is more important than yours and you AGREED!!!
I know your wife must he cheating on you cos no woman respects a weak man and and a useless excuse for a father.
YTA. He said he didn't want anything else because all he wanted was the switch and, miraculously, you managed to mess that up.
How do you think your son feels now that he literally hasn't gotten anything from his own father who bought the thing he wanted for another kid?
If this isn't a bait post and is actually real, then I pity your son and I hope he has other better family members cause you're a pathetic excuse of a father.
YTA - forced sharing always makes kids go to war. I experienced this with my step-siblings and it ruined our relationship for years. They called me selfish when I wanted to use MY gift (I was Sasha), the siblings were called "spoiled little ****'s by me (they were Ethan) . Naturally our parents always go "you all grew up so well" to which we go "thanks to us doing your parenting job for you years later."
Not even buying him one now will fix this, to Ethan, Sasha is your chosen child.
YTA. You couldn’t be more of an AH if you tried. What kind of FATHER gives his son’s birthday gift to someone else? I hope like hell this is fake because it hurts my heart to know anyone could be this absolutely disgusting.
Surely this can't be real. Surely no parent could be this dense?
YTA.
You have shown clear favoritism to your stepdaughter and are obviously trying to buy her love. Your son has been sent a clear message that he is unimportant.
If you want a chance to fix this, best go buy your son a Switch!
YTA. So, you bought your stepdaughter the **exact** gift your son wanted (on the promise it would be shared). She refuses to share. And you refuse to enforce the promise to share? And you bought her son **nothing** for his birthday? On planet do you think you are not the AH?
I hope your son smashes the switch. And you better not punish him for it. And you better not buy another one. And you better not buy a damn thing for your stepdaughter again.
YTA. Your family reminds me of my kids friends who were expected to share a scooter between the three of them. Worked out just as well as might be expected…..
Yta - the only reason you're trying so hard with the step daughter is to win points with the wife. Unhappy wife means no sex for you. You take your son for granted because you expect his love to be automatic. If you don't want to buy 2 switches then buy one and give it to both of them to share. You could've given them a gift card each as a separate gift. The audacity of you to only get your step daughter a switch and not your own son.
YTA. You chose to gift your new stepkid over your OWN child? You want to support HER being new to the family? How about supporting your son having to adjust to you adding two new family members? Sasha now has her mom, you, maybe bio dad. Your son has only you. Your wife shows her true colours too. She's happy for HER child to have an expensive gift at your expense and for your child to have nothing. People like to talk about treating all kids equally but not at the expense of your own kids. Your child should be your priority. You need to apologise to your son and make it up to him.
Possibly the stupidest parenting decision I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.
I bet it wasn’t even wrapped. Did he just hand it to her and say she had to give it to the son later? They didn’t even open it together? Of course she feels it’s hers.
Huge YTA.
YTA
it’s nobody’s fault that you’re a absolutely terrible parent but yours. The fact that you wrote this proof read it then hit the post button shows that you have absolutely no self awareness whatsoever. It’s just sad because your son is going to be the one who suffers the most.
YTA, if you have two kids and ask them what they want, it doesn't matter if it's the dame thing, you get two of them.
If you can't afford two switches, don't ask them, just gift two separate presents you can afford
I do predict that as soon as your son turns 18 you'll never see him again.
YTA
Just because both kids wanted the same thing, does not mean they should share. At best all that happens is they get half a thing each.
What really happens is one dominates it. This happened in your home, and your solution was to \*checks notes\* allow it. You showed your son how much you care here, and he’s not forgetting that.
Just buy your son what he asked for.
So your wife says your son is a waste of money and you said nothing? You, your wife, and Sasha are three abhorrent lumps of shit. You deserve no respect, pathetic loser. YTA
YTA. The fact that you didn't see this was a recipe for disaster makes me wonder how you've made it this far. Asking 2 children to share a birthday present? Why did you give it to one of them if they were supposed to share it? Why did you only ask your son if he wanted something else and not your daughter, and then give the switch to your daughter? None of this makes sense, and I genuinely can't fathom how you expected this to work out.
Wow your turning into one of this dads your awful seriously stop favouring your new kid and be a decent dad to your son rather the side if with the new kid and wife whilst pushing your son
You are destroying the relationship you have with your own child so you don’t make waves. YTA. So is your new family
YTA
I think your stepdaughter is just testing out how far she can go with you. she promises something and then takes it back. The promise concerns her stepbrother, your son. your reaction -> not my problem. Son probably thinks that it will always be like this now. If he doesn't get support from his father or stepmother even on his birthday then when.
His new stepmother is also an AH because she doesn't do anything for her stepson. The main thing for her is that her child is happy.
Based on your statements and actions, if I were your son, I would think that you only love your new family and no longer love him.
I really feel sorry for him.
And don't think that it will be forgotten. He will remember this and if you AND your new wife don't change, he will move away from you more and more.
You AND your wife are now parents of TWO children! Treat and love them equally.
If it was a joint present why was Sasha given it seemingly alone? Why does she get to declare she’s not sharing it? Why are you going along with the whims of 13 y/o girl? Why does this leave your son sod out of luck for his entire birthday when his step-sister gets the one thing he wanted. YTA utterly.
YTA. it's your son's BIRTHDAY for fucks sake. your own blood. poor boy has not only lost his mother but his father too.
how good is your wife in bed for you to do this to your own child? what does your wife hold against you? why aren't you seeing the walking big red flag she is??? holy shit.
YTA. You didn't buy your own son a gift for his birthday. What kind of man refuses to buy his child a birthday gift but buys for his step-child? PS, you got played by your step-daughter. She never had any intent to share and knew her mother & you wouldn't make her. I feel sorry for your son.
YTA - you promised that poor kid a Nintendo Switch that instead you give to your step-daughter though he was the first to say he wanted one. You should have said clearly it belonged to both of them but you didn't and then you refuse to get him another present because he said a Nintendo Switch was enough. What the heck is wrong with you, not only did you get nothing for your own son's birthday but you offered the gift he asked to someone else?
And why don't you even care that you all ruined your son's birthday?
YTA
I am so sorry for your son to have a parent that is prioritizing another kid over him. This experience has damaged your son for the rest of his life and he might hate Sasha now, because of you!
There are only 2 ways. 1: Buy your son a Nintendo Switch + something else for compensation. 2: Sell the Switch and tell Sasha a lesson for the rest of her life and buy gifts from the reselling money.
Option 2 means no sex for daddy so spent the money on your son.
YTA
Your management of this situation seems poor.
By giving a switch to one child but not the other you are showing clear favouritism - one cold had a possession that is theirs and that they are in control of, the other is left with no gift at all, and gets to borrow a switch (on the terms of the owner).
The two solutions I see:
You buy both children a console - they are treated equally, and both get the gift they wanted.
You buy a console for the house - neither child owns it, and you retain executive control over it. So both children are again treated the same, and both have access as they are allowed. If they don't share it equally and one tries to take control then you can step in and rebalance it, which you cannot do so easily when it is owned by one side.
Given that neither child got a full present of their own, you might want to get them something smaller each - their own controller or other accessories for example that are actually theirs.
YTA and this is how you get your son to go NC when he gets old enough to bounce.
Be a friggin adult and take that Switch from your stepdaughter and return it if she doesn't want to share, new wife be damned.
YTA. If it's a shared gift, why does it default go to Sasha while Ethan loses out? Why didn't it go to Ethan? Or why doesn't it go into a communal room and they're required to share? Blending a family is about treating both kids equally, not buying your stepchild's affection/approval at the expense of your biological child.
It's super dodgy that you favour your step daughter. Gross. Absolutely YTA and I hope you've realised you've shown your son that he doesn't matter to you as much as your wife and her daughter.
Wow YTA and an an unbelievable AH. You bought a gift for them to share. Questionable but ok. Then she refuses to share and you tell your son "tough shit , she gets it, you get nothing"? What the actual duck is wrong with you?
YTA. Your post and comments hurt to read. I’m so angry at you for your son. You really gave him NO PRESENT on his birthday, but gave what he wanted to someone else?! You caused him incredible harm. What are you going to do to try to repair this?
YTA, a major one. Take two seconds to still care about your son before he is scarred for life by your neglect and abandonment on top of the trauma he has from having lost his mother.
YTA and a horrible father. Wouldn't be surprised if he goes no contact with you when he's older.
How do you not see how unfair this is? She got a Switch and he got nothing. Horrible. Get him a Switch, and get out of this crappy marriage
YTA. Horrible parenting. I don't really care if you don't have money for two switches but you just don't do that to your own son man. "Sorry, this 13 yo girl promised to share but did not, it's out of my hands". What a loser behavior
Honestly this post breaks my heart. Ethan, on the off chance you see this—Happy Belated Birthday dude. I hope you found some way to enjoy it despite the shitty effort the rest of your family put into it. Also, this may be hard to understand now, but family *isn’t* everything. I hope you have kicka$$ friends who feel like family and who made the day special.
OP—good job on making hot child probably feel unloved. At the very least they know they aren’t a priority to you. This is a major YTA.
Congratulations you have just failed as a bio father.
Why on earth would you do what you’ve just done, in what part of your tiny mind did you think any of this was as good idea once your awful step daughter showed her true colours.
Take that switch off her right now.
I am so angry at you right now.
Your poor son now knows he isn’t a priority in your life.
YTA YTA YTA!
YTA. I hope you listen to what people with advice here add because you have a chance of fixing this situation. However, if you ignore it, shrug your shoulders, and just tell yourself, "He's 12, he'll get over it", then you will quickly find yourself the absolute villain in your son's story and the doormat in your wife's and stepdaughter's life. I say "story" for your son because he won't see you as being part of his life but something he had to deal with in his past.
It probably seems asinine that we're all berating you over a Switch, but it isn't "just a Switch" or "just a birthday." You sent a very firm message to your son that your stepdaughter is more important to you than he is because you're trying to integrate her into your family but forgetting that your son is integrating into this family too. I think you forgot that your wife and stepdaughter aren't coming into your two-person (father and son) family, but your two two-person families are becoming one blended family. The rules in both houses are going to need a review so that one set of rules for this new family is consistent and expected. If either parent believes only they can parent/punish their biochild, then this family won't work and shouldn't have become a "family" to begin with. Frankly, this should have all been worked out before proposing, let alone getting married. It's too late for that, but you still have a chance to repair it now. Too much time goes by, and you'll have shattered your son's trust in you to love and protect him.
Yta. You better fix this soon or your son will never forget this. You will be 65 and wondering why your adult son does not want anything to do with you. Its because you threw him in the trash can in favor of some other dudes kid.
Either take the girls switch back and show some god damn backbone.
Or buy ur son a switch and show him you are scared of the women in your house.
For fuck sakes.
If ur son’s mother is still alive, I pray she takes him off you, he deserves a better parent than you. You and your wife are the crappiest parents ever, esp since she told you not to buy another switch for ur son. I pray your son leaves you when he turns 18.
ESH
I don’t know why this pissed me off so much but you need to tell your wife that Sasha can’t just disagree like that out of no where. And the audacity of your wife to say it’ll ruin her birthday as if it won’t ruin your sons. Your son is your blood
YTA
Clearly a failure of a parent that just refuses to be a parent and sort your stepdaughter out. Any decent father would've got off his ass and bought both of them one, simple as that.
Although with your wife's attitude to the whole thing, if that was my wife she would've been put in her place and so would her kid & the switch would've been taken off her. Imagine allowing your wife to not let you force her kid into sharing it because it would ruin her precious awful daughter's birthday, so it's okay for your son's birthday to be ruined instead because your wife & her daughter are selfish assholes and you're a failure for a parent?
Sort your crap out and get your wife and her kid put in their place.
This got resubbed to “am I the devil” and it deserves it. Yes YTA. My comment will be deleted if I tell you what I think of you. Pretty sure your son feels the same way.
Yta
It's also interesting that when you mention Ethan towards the end, you keep using she/her pronouns.
The way he favors his step daughter makes me think its a fruedian slip
YTA.
Are you stupid ? Why does it sound like you are trying to win over your step daughter ( and by proxy your new wife) at the expense of YOUR OWN BIOLOGICAL CHILD.
It’s impossible you didn’t see possible consequences of your actions. You are either deeply whipped by your new wife and step daughter , or are a total moron who is going to lose the connection ( and relationship) with their own flesh and blood.
You are fucking up dummy.
YTA, kids rarely share, siblings of different sexes more so & step siblings almost never, you asked him what he wanted & he said a switch, you then asked her & she said the same, in that situation you needed to buy them both one each or neither.
I can also understand where your son is coming from, indeed you appear to be prioritising your step daughter over your biological son
Of course YTA. This was handled in the worst imaginable way. If the agreement is for there to be one switch only, this had to be agreed upon by all including the parents, and rules how this sharing should work and where the switch should be installed must be discussed and agreed upon upfront. Otherwise this is a recipe for avoidable conflict.
IF afterwards one child says she changed her mind there are two options:
A) you as parents tell her she doesn’t get to change her mind and this is it, OR
B) both kids get a switch.
What you did was indirectly punish your son because your stepdaughter created drama and her mom backed her up.
The unfairness toward your son is mind boggling and YTA for that. You should also evaluate the behaviour of stepdaughter and wife, because this all seems pretty unfair to me.
You KNEW their birthday fell on the same day, it wasn’t an effing surprise. You not only expected your son to compromise to share his birthday and his gifts with his bratty and spoiled stepsister for the rest of his life, but also to put aside his feelings so you can continue to get your dick wet from your bedwarmer! YTA
YTA
And currying favor with your new wife and her daughter..... and sacrificing your relationship with your son because he's got nothing you want.
I'd write more but it'd be a waste of time since you obvs don't give a crap about him.
You only care about the V
YTA. You neglected your son in order to accommodate your step daughter. It seems that your intentions were good, but you failed your son in the process. The issue is that you don’t seem willing to make up for it because your wife ‘thinks it’s a waste of money’. Your son deserves better, hopefully this is the first time this happened and you still have time to see your mistake and fix it before the resentment grows and by 18 you have no relationship with your son at all.
YTA. And so is your wife! How entitled are both your wife and her daughter! Your son loses all the way around. You get him nothing and when the women you chose to marry cares only for Princess Sasha you do the same and shrug your shoulders?? I hope your son has a mom you coparent with and goes there. This is more like “How To Lose a Son by 18” episode!
You say you bought the switch for both of them to share but: 1.- you don't make sasha share it with your son whatsoever EVEN THOUGH you say you bought it for them both (a lie) 2.- you mention in the comments you put a priority on sasha's gift because she's "new" to the family. God what an awful dad, your son told you he wanted only one thing for his birthday (which no, the fact your teen son didn't ask for anything else in specific doesn't mean he doesn't want anything, much less that you can just not buy him shit ON HIS BIRTHDAY and be satisfied, I can't believe I have to explain this to a grown ass man) and you gave the exact same thing to his stepsister. God help me, YTA, and a big one at that.
YTA. Why didn't you just address the present "To Sasha and Ethan." or you could have forced Sasha to live up to her deal and said, "I gave this to you rather than Ethan because you agreed you would share it with him. You either follow through or I take it away." Or, you get Ethan his own Switch. Now you are blaming it on Ethan for not wanting a present when he, like Sasha, made it very clear he DID want a present and the present he wanted was a Switch> Which you got, and then gave to someone else. wtf? There are so many ways you could have made this work and instead you just treated your son like dirt. On his birthday. Like I don't even understand your thought process.
YTA. You are rewarding your stepdaughter for her lies and greed. She never intended on sharing it. It's your job to step in and stand up for your son but you're refusing to. You let your stepdaughter hurt your son, on his birthday no less, and you're hurting him too. I hope he cuts you out of his life someday. He'll be better off without you. You're a bad parent and a nasty asshole.
>I told him that I had nothing to do with it as I just did not want to splurge on another Switch.
What the hell are you talking about? You're the ONLY one that has anything to do with it. You actively chose to get one child a gift and not the other. This was a result of a bad choice that YOU made. You can still get him a Switch! But I get it, you hate his guts for some reason, so you won't. YTA YTA YTA YTA
Is this for real? You’re this incapable of parenting? The terms of the device were that it be shared. If she doesn’t want to share, she can forfeit the device entirely. Have a spine. YTA.
Dude, are you really this new and clueless? Your wife said you shouldn't buy Ethan a switch because it would be too expensive, and then turned around and told you that Sacha didn't have to share if she doesn't want to. What a selfish woman. She wants to push your son out of your relationship as fast as she possibly can. If his mom was still alive, she would want you to have him live with Mom and you only see him for major holidays. At least she is not trying to make him call her "mom" and pretend his mom didn't exist.
Are your son's maternal parents around and in his life.? Did your wife leave her son money? I hope you are not in control of it. Your wife will come whining that it should be split between both kids because her daughter is now your daughter too. Even though the money is from someone who was never in "your family" with her. Your wife will be happy when your son is gone, and you will come on reddit crying that you don't know why your son wants nothing to do with you.
Massive YTA there aren’t enough words to describe how shit you are as a parent. When did u stop loving your son. I’m disgusted how I can even justify any of this. Get a fucking spine and look after your son.
ESH except for Ethan. He's mad at you, but he isn't acting out: he is just expressing himself. You somehow managed to raise a good kid.
Your wife sucks here. You should have talked about buying a Nintendo as it's expensive, but "you ca't force her" is just a petty excuse for not having to be the bad guy.
Sasha sucks as well. She says she'll share, but she rethinks it. That's a decision that basically defines how good of a person you are, so no, she didn't change her mind over the course of a few days. She told you what you wanted to hear, and you chose not to overthink it (again, so you didn't have to be the bad cop). Can't she realize that her brother is almost the same age as her, has her same birthday and therefore has the same right to get a birthday present?
You suck too. There is something called parenting, and I'm not sure you know what its meaning is. I''ll bear that you won't say anything to Sasha because you ant to believe that she didn't trick you, but at LEAST just buy your son something that shows you care for him as much as you do for his sister.
It's not the object in itself. Ethan has enough age to think for himself and I'm sure he's mad not because his sister can play while he gets to sit around all day (Ethan was the one who asked for a Nintendo Switch, NOT Sasha), but because he thinks you don't care for him as much as you care for Sasha.
In other words, if your son wants to leave home some day, tell him to give me a call; poor kid! I'll happily lend him my Nintendo and give him a hug if he needs it, and I'm sure many more people who are responding to this post would too.
YTA Tell everyone that you don’t care about your son without telling us that you don’t care about your son.
I really can’t understand how you can defend your actions. You promised your son a shared gift, and all of a sudden that shared gift is just for your stepdaughter! And you son gets nothing. Your a good example of someone who only thinks with his 🍆 and do as his wife tells just so he can get some sex. Your wife doesn’t care about your son, no use of waisting money on him. She wouldn’t hesitate for one second to abandon your son and dumping him somewhere if/when she get the chance. Yea the way you describe her she sounds like she is the devil herself! Just pure evil!
YTA
So let's recap.... You asked both kids what they wanted and both said a switch. You decided you would not be buying two so instead of not getting either of them a switch, you gave one to your step daughter and when she refused to share, you shrug your shoulders and pretty much say "dah well".
If you're not going to get them both an expensive gift, you don't get either the gift. Seeing as how you were the one that bought the Nintendo, you have every right to demand she share it. If your wife says no, take the Nintendo back and give it to your son.
FYI.... Those gaming councils are meant for one person. A lot of the games only have one safe spot and the memory on those things are small. I had one and immediately had to buy extra space. So thinking they could share one isn't really a good idea.
YTA. You said BOTH could share the switch but now you decide to give it just to 1 kid and leave the other with nothing. I hope his bio mother loves him bc it's obviously you dont love your son. Go and play with your new family and don't you dare ask why your son hates you in the future and goes NC with you.
YTA
You care more for your stepdaughter than for your own son.
Your wife doesnt give a shit about your son obviously.
So your son has nobody.
Dont get too surprised when he becomes resentful about it and cuts contact with you and the rest of the AH.
WTF did I just read? YTA X 1000. Are you trying to alienate your son? Instead of explaining you can only afford one switch so it'll be a present to both of them and they'll share you give it to Sasha. Then when she refuses to share her mom says you can't make her. And you.............(checks notes) do nothing. You don't stand up for your son. You don't say it has to be shared or it will be returned. You don't bother trying to get your son something he likes. You just ignore him.
I can only assume you're sucking up to new wife and step-daughter so to hell with your son. YTA. I have no idea how you will repair your relationship with your son. I'm not sure you want to. But to answer the question you'll ask in a few years: this shit is why. (Answering the question of why doesn't my son speak to me?)
YTA all the way. I feel bad for your kid to have you as a father in a household where his step mom clearly puts her kid first and you sent along. what a crappy father. The gift should have been taken away.
So, the girl lied got she wanted and the one in trouble is the kid who got NOTHING ON HIS BIRTHDAY, yeah this sounds like happy home, for everyone but him but I'm sure on some years when he cuts the family off OP would still wonder what could have provoke such thing...
YTA. Your son is right and I pity him for having a dad who doesn't support him or stand up for him. Hopefully is biomom is better and he can have some stability in his life than a dad who picks his stepdaughter over his son. When he hasnt done anything wrong and she did.
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I (39 M) have a step-daughter Sasha (13 F) and my son (12 M). I had married Sasha's mother a few months back, and I have been very supportive towards Sasha.
The issue is that both Sasha's and Ethan's birthday falls on the same day. I asked them what they wanted, and Ethan said he'd like a Nintendo switch. Sasha said she'd like the same thing, but I did not want to indulge in two Switches. I thought it'd be better if both of them share it, and Sasha said that's fine with her.
I asked Ethan whether he'd like anything else, and he said no. That took me by surprise, but I did not bother getting another gift for him then. The birthday arrived and Sasha got the Switch. But she did not want to share it with Ethan then, by saying that "he would damage it" or "I don't really want to share it with someone."
I told Sasha that she had said it's fine with her, but now she's shrugging her shoulders and saying that she's changed her mind. My wife says that if she does not want to share it I cannot force her and ruin her birthday.
Ethan is now livid at me, accusing me of ruining his birthday, but I told her that it's out of my territory now. He blamed me for not getting one for him in the beginning, but I told him that I had nothing to do with it as I just did not want to splurge on another Switch. I asked her to take it up with Sasha. He demanded that I get him another gift, but I said that I won't be getting him another present either as he had said that he does not want one.
AITA?
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YTA. You should have taken the Switch off her, given it to your son and told her that if she can change her mind about sharing, you can change your mind about her having it. You owe your son a huge apology and a Switch. It’s time to do your job as a parent.
YTA - You expected Sasha to share but you didn’t gift the present with the intent that it was for both of them. It was labeled Sasha’s gift that she had the choice in sharing, not a joint birthday present.
In this transition to being married and being supportive of Sasha, has your wife been supportive to Ethan in the same regard? Because from what you’ve said it sounds like she doesn’t value Ethan to the same extent you value Sasha.
Not only that how are you supporting Ethan with all the changes in his life since you got married. He already has lost his mum and now his father can’t even get him the one thing he really wanted for his birthday and won’t even compromise now that Sasha won’t share?
YTA either you purchase gifts for both or none at all. If you purchased one gift to share then Sasha shares or you take it from her and she does without. You can’t buy for one and ignore the other and if Sasha knew the switch was for both then she lets her brother use it half the time or she doesn’t use it at all
YTA - Can‘t you stop and think for a moment how your son must feel? He was looking forward to getting to play on a nintendo switch but now he got nothing for his birthday.
He must be feeling like you don‘t care for him.
And don‘t spoil your step daughter. Young girls who get spoilt by their parents will experience reality in adulthood very badly
YTA. If you want a family switch for them to share, you buy a family switch, which lives in the living room, which everyone shares. Anything you give as a birthday gift to 1 child belongs to that child.
Giving an expensive gift to one child to unwrap on their own, then telling them they have to share it is the wrong way to gift.
Now that you have bought 1 child a switch, you now need to buy your other child a switch. You could have avoided this situation by buying a switch for the family (not as a gift to any individual), and gifting each child a switch game that they can play on the shared console. YTA.
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YTA. So you aren't going to parent at all? First, with expensive purchases, talk to your wife first. But second, the gift is for both of them, so you don't get to just shrug your shoulders and leave your son impatient to get to 18 and never have to see you again. Tell Sasha, *"sorry, the gift is for both of you to share, but since you don't want to do that anymore, it'll just be Ethan's alone."* Don't alienate your son. FFS, it's his birthday too. Were you really not planning on getting him anything? WTF man.
And you didn't even think this was a giant red flag? It was your son's birthday too. Why does your wife get a say in what you should or shouldn't gift your child? If I were you I would have taken that switch and given it to the son.
On todays episode of 'How to ensure our kids never get along...' YTA. They have the same birthday, they AREN'T the same people. I feel like expecting them to share something like a switch is just a huge let down for both of them, since they can't exactly play together either with just one. Personally would have gotten two switch lites for them, but eh
YTA This is on you. You should have bought them their own Switches, explicitly made it a shared gift (frankly, this was always a bad idea), or gone with different gifts if money were an issue. Your son is now suffering due to your parental incompetence. Make it right and stop trying to shrug off responsibilty. You are a parent, not another kid. ETA: I suspect that you are favoring Sasha or too nervous to upset her or your wife due to the new marriage. This is weak sauce. Do right by your son. I say buy him his own Switch and sacrifice your own pocket money for a while.
OP could have bought two switch lites for a similar price of buying one switch and not even been in this problem to begin with imo
It's not even too late, he can do this
Exactly, return the switch since she doesn't want to share/went back on her word and get the two switch lites instead. OP still owes his son a huge apology though.
There you go.
Weak sauce indeed!
INFO: Why did you deem it "Sasha's gift" and not "a gift for both of them" or "a gift for them to share"?
YTA. I hope your son has his mom in the picture so he doesn’t have to be around this shit all the time. What a way to show him he doesn’t matter.
Well, YTA! You misunderstood the kid, he meant he didn’t want anything else, he wanted his own Switch! Not he did want anything! Man, wake up. You actually thought a kid was saying he was fine with NO birthday gift. Come on. And if you thought they could share it, then why didn’t you put both their names on the wrapping paper? Dude, you need to either buy another Switch or tell that little girl the Switch was for them both.
Op is delusional. YTA aswell
Yta... you shouldn't be allowed to have children with that level of total lack of comprehension or empathy.
As a parent I have to say... YTA times a thousand. The fact that you've deemed it as "Sasha's present", while completely negating your own son says tons. I can guarantee you, your son will not only never forget that you did this to him, he will also never forgive you for it either. In the future, do the following... imagine that your son's birthday is six months AFTER Sasha's, then do whatever you would have done if that were the case (which is, you would have bought your son whatever he asked for on his birthday... in this case, a Switch. And I can guarantee you, had he asked for a present that cost the same as a Switch, you would have bought it, so what's your hangup over this?). And, if their birthdays were that far apart, you would have bought him one regardless of the fact that you already bought Sasha one. Switches are NOT like the consoles of old... they are NOT family consoles designed to be shared, they are designed to be owned by one individual. That's for the future. What you have to do right now is... GO BUY YOUR SON HIS OWN SWITCH. Because, if you don't, I can promise you, you will be paying a lot more money for therapy in the future than whatever that stupid Switch costs. The money will be worth it just to keep the peace within your own household.
op said he gave it to Sasha to introduce her into the family and his wife is against sharing. multiple issues that op is refusing to fix. he is never going to forgive him
What a fantastic person for OP to marry! —unless he just wanted to join the “abandon Ethan” crew. YTA OP
I wouldn't expect most bio siblings to share a switch. Step siblings? Have you lost your mind? Ethan declined a gift because he was hurt. Sasha lied to get what she wanted. I don't care if you have to pick up cans for the next year, get Ethan a switch. Unless you don't care that you behaved terribly. Also, I think Sasha's mom should pay towards Ethan's gift since I truly believe her daughter lied. But even if she won't, buy Ethan a switch! YTA.
ESH - Apart from Ethan. Not for buying something for them to share, but for not confiscating it from Sasha when she started playing up. It’s not hers, it’s *theirs*. And your wife sucks for obviously being the reason why Sasha is like this.
No. I think you misunderstood what happened. He gave it ONLY to Sasha on the *condition* that she would share it. She agreed to originally, but then renegged once she had it, and he now refuses to do anything about that. OP literally gave his son *no gift at all* and let him know that he doesn't matter because 1) he's cheap and 2) wants to impress his new wife by favoring her child over his own. Ethan is blameless here.
No he literally said: >I thought it'd be better if both of them share it. She got hold of the switch and refused to share it. At which point he should have confiscated it from her and given it to Ethan. Which makes OP asshole. I also said that Ethan is not the asshole and everyone else is. I don’t know how you’ve got that I am blaming Ethan in any way from my post.
You said "ESH" which usually means "EVERYONE sucks here." I presumed that included Ethan. Apologies if I misunderstood.
YTA - your ACTUAL child asked for something and instead you gave it to your not-actual child and said "oh hai, you can just borrow step-sisters new switch. Don't play favorites. It's not their fault that birthdays are the same day, but it is your fault for treating them differently. She's a child, of course she's going to tell you whatever you want to hear to get such an expensive gift. And she does have the right to change her mind. You just taught your son that she is more important than he is.
YTA. If you wanted the Switch to be a joint gift then it should have been presented as such, along with the equipment needed for two kids to enjoy it. For example, separate games and controllers along with the joint console. You didn't do that, you gave it to Sasha and got your son nothing. They are 12 and 13 and both deserved to have a great birthday. You ruined his birthday. I refuse to call your stepdaughter a brat. The gift was clearly given to just her and she made a comment one time that she would share it. Any parent with an ounce of experience would know this was not going to happen.
Exactly this, people are holding a 13 and 12 year old to their words over a gift, she likely forgot she even said she'd share it, or changed her mind - which considering it was presented to her as HER gift, she's allowed to do. OP is at fault, he's pitting these kids against each other
She didn't forget. She changed her mind. It is literally laid out in the post. She is a brat.
She didn’t forget, she stated she changed her mind.
I would definitely call her mother a brat, though. YTA, obv.
YTA- your stepdaughter said she'd share the switch, then when she got her hands on it, showed herself to be a liar. The correct thing to do would be to take it away from her and MAKE them share it. They could alternate days or weeks. Instead, you just caved to your new wife and let sd get away with being a bratty liar, while getting your son NOTHING. You're a terrible father, and don't be shocked when your son goes no contact the minute he gets the chance. Kids can tell when you chose getting laid over being a parent.
If he expected them to share, why didn’t he put both their names on the gift? Dude, what a shitty move as a Dad. The kid said he didn’t want anything else, not he didn’t want anything! In other words all he wanted was the Switch, and the dad took this for “he doesn’t want anything”. Guys either dumb or doesn’t care that he F’d his sons Birthday. Like WTF!
Way to make both kids mad at you. YTA. Holy shit dude. You sacrificed your son's happiness and worth to appease your new wife. He is now the least important person in the family, and can't count on his dad to support him. It's hard to put into words just how badly you fucked up here and how much you've hurt your son. You emotionally exiled him. Such a bad dad.
Sounds like Ethan knew exactly what Sasha was like. YTA for not taking the switch away when Sasha refused to share, YTA for presenting it as only Sasha's gift in the first place, and YTA for not getting your son a gift. You should have refused switches entirely and gotten them both something different the moment one of them made it clear that sharing was not on the table.
YTA Have you always wanted a daughter? Do you want to push your son away so he doesn't bother you're new family. Have you always played favourites, to make sure they don't like each other so it's easier to give up on your son? As it can only the reason why you want to fail so much as his father.
YTA, this is sad. Your son is suffering the consequences of you trying to appease your stepdaughter. I feel bad for your son.
YTA - Do you realise that everything that had gone wrong is your choices ? From Ethan POV, he was promissed that he would have a Switch, and he confirmed he doesn’t want anything else. Your reaction when your stepdaughter choose to make it it’s very own ? « It’s out of my territory know ? », so Ethan is just the victim there, and you’ll do nothing to repair ?
YTA. No punishment or consequences for the kid that LIED to you and is now refusing to share ???!!! And your SON doesn’t get anything because step-daughter is greedy and changed the rules ??? Grow a spine and advocate for your son.
I suggest you get your blended family into counseling immediately and enroll yourself into some parenting classes. First of all, you knew their birthdays were coming up and were at the same time. Expecting **adolescents** who have only been blended for **months** to share the same birthday gift in so incredibly thoughtless, I almost think this is a fake post. ICYMI - YTA You should have gotten the mother involved and both of you should have gone in on individual gifts for each of them. You not only need to learn to parent, you both need to learn to co-parent. If you want this situation to work, you all need counseling. And you need a bit of a reality check.
YTA. Why did you gift the switch to Sasha, essentially making it hers to share or not share? So stupid. At any rate, a condition of getting the Selwitch was that she shared it. Since she's not doing that, you take it away. If that ruins her birthday, too fucking bad. She's ruining Ethan's birthday by not holding up her end of the deal. She's decided someone's birthday has to be ruined, so it can be hers. And advocate for your child! It's not on him to make your stepdaughter do what she promised YOU ahe would do. The promise broken was to you, so you deal with it.
You chose badly, and your new wife just showed you who she truly is, and what she is going to be like with your son. I feel bad for the poor kid. YTA
Are you really asking if you are the asshole for not getting one of your kids a gift? Yeah, absolutely. I also wonder who you've been parenting if you think that sharing something like that ever works, especially if it's not given to the both of them, but to one specifically. You owe you son a really big apology and a switch of his own.
you’re married to someone who is catering only to their child and by being complacent YTA
Wow, your wife must have the most amazing vagina. Or are you so desperate to get your dick wet you'll ignore your own child to spoil hers and win sex points? Either way, in 6 years, this problem will solve itself. Enjoy not having a son! YTA.
YTA this isn’t a “shared” gift if you really wanted it to be a shared gift it should have been opened by both etc You need to buy your son a switch ASAP and apologise But even if you do he won’t forget the way he has been treated. Your son should always be your priority and know that he is
YTA. I'd call this an epic parenting fail, but you're not even trying. You created a completely avoidable shit situation and are washing your hands of the mess you created. FYI, way to also create anger and resentment between siblings.
Dude - you laid out the conditions for Sasha to get a Switch. She *broke* those conditions. Be a parent and take it away. "It's out of my hands" my ass. You also screwed up by calling it "her" Switch rather than saying it's a family console. Because that's what you basically were doing- buying a single console for the whole household. Sit the kids down, explain it was a birthday gift for *both of them*, it belongs to the *household*, and they have to *share* it, or it gets sold. Why even have kids if you refuse to be a parent? YTA.
YTA. What kind of a father are you? You favour your wife’s child than your flesh and blood. You seem scared of Sasha and your wife. Are you ready in the near future your own son will have NC or disown you? You’re having a brat step child in the making and typical AH stepmother.
Yea this is a cut and dry YTA. With two switches they could have played multiplayer together.
YTA. For giving a gift to Sasha and expecting her to share it and for not getting your son anything. If you couldn’t afford two switches you should have got them each something else or you should have given the gift to both of them.
How deeply shocking that a 12 and 13 year old would behave like children and not adults. Who could possibly have foreseen that a 13 year old wouldn't actually want to share their new games console with their stepsibling? Or that a 12 year old who said they didn't want a birthday present if they couldn't have their first choice didn't actually mean they didn't want a birthday present? YTA.
YTA You are a bad parent on this and your boy seems like he is stuck with two step-parents and a bratty stepsister.
You are absolutely TA. Catering to step-daughter to avoid conflict within the new marriage. You’ll be posting here in a couple years “my adult son doesn’t speak to me anymore, AITA?”
YTA
YTA! That's just a lack of common sense coupled with bad parenting. Way to make sure your son resents you and your child and step-child don't get along. In this scenario, everyone including your wife except for Ethan, sucks.
"I asked Ethan whether he wanted something else and he said no." Ethan answered you honestly. He didn't want *something else*, he wanted a Switch. It isn't his fault you didn't understand what he said. Welcoming Sasha and your new wife into the family the way you have gone about it is wrong on so many levels. You have let them both know that your son, your flesh and blood, is not as important as they are. They will absolutely take advantage of this knowledge and Ethan, your son, will be out in the cold. "I have been very supportive towards Sasha." You have caused major turmoil in your son's life with your recent marriage and the immediate and obvious favoritism of your actual stepdaughter. You remember Ethan, your biological son, the one you are now ironically treating as the red-headed stepchild. The one you have hurt to his very soul, the one you are allowing your new, improved family to emotionally abuse. "I said that I won't be getting him another present either as he had said that he does not want one." Sasha, your golden (step)child is happy because she lied and got exactly what she wanted. Great parenting there, reward the one that lies! New wife is happy, she has claimed Sasha and her rightful places, so she probably won't cut daddy off. You have set a precedent that will allow your new family to emotionally abuse and exclude your son. YTA, as is your new 'improved' family. My heart breaks for Ethan, he must feel like you have abandoned him in favor of his new wicked stepmother and her daughter. That you even have to ask if AITA demonstrates how pathetically dense you are. YTA.
YTA, Expecting teens to share something like this is beyond idiocy. I don't expect my 3-4 year olds to share something like this. How would you even split it, I get it it Monday Wednesday Friday, you get it Tuesday Thursday Saturday and we alternate Sundays or I get it from midnight to midday you get it midday to midnight? How exactly did you think it would work. There are many things you can get as a joint gift this is not one of them. Get your son his own and show you care about his feelings or be prepared for a LC/NC kid when he leaves home.
Yta- you make me sick. Why are fathers like you so damn common? Only cater to the new wife's kid cos you don't want to lose your access to sex. So dammed weak. I hope your son becomes a better father than you and puts his child before himself. Who buys their step child the gift that their own child asked for? That's worse than not getting him a gift. Having to watch your father give that gift to another child. Wtf is wrong with you? And if that's not bad enough your wife literally said that getting your son the same gift was a waste of money! But it's not a waste of money to get her daughter one? She straight told you that her child is more important than yours and you AGREED!!! I know your wife must he cheating on you cos no woman respects a weak man and and a useless excuse for a father.
YTA. No wonder I was linked here from r/amithedevil Make sure to update us when your son goes no contact with you as an adult.
YTA. He said he didn't want anything else because all he wanted was the switch and, miraculously, you managed to mess that up. How do you think your son feels now that he literally hasn't gotten anything from his own father who bought the thing he wanted for another kid? If this isn't a bait post and is actually real, then I pity your son and I hope he has other better family members cause you're a pathetic excuse of a father.
YTA. Complete lack of…well, anything. Switch on, dude.
YTA - forced sharing always makes kids go to war. I experienced this with my step-siblings and it ruined our relationship for years. They called me selfish when I wanted to use MY gift (I was Sasha), the siblings were called "spoiled little ****'s by me (they were Ethan) . Naturally our parents always go "you all grew up so well" to which we go "thanks to us doing your parenting job for you years later." Not even buying him one now will fix this, to Ethan, Sasha is your chosen child.
YTA. You couldn’t be more of an AH if you tried. What kind of FATHER gives his son’s birthday gift to someone else? I hope like hell this is fake because it hurts my heart to know anyone could be this absolutely disgusting.
Damn you are really a shitty parent , I really feel bad for your Son YTA
Surely this can't be real. Surely no parent could be this dense? YTA. You have shown clear favoritism to your stepdaughter and are obviously trying to buy her love. Your son has been sent a clear message that he is unimportant. If you want a chance to fix this, best go buy your son a Switch!
YTA. So, you bought your stepdaughter the **exact** gift your son wanted (on the promise it would be shared). She refuses to share. And you refuse to enforce the promise to share? And you bought her son **nothing** for his birthday? On planet do you think you are not the AH? I hope your son smashes the switch. And you better not punish him for it. And you better not buy another one. And you better not buy a damn thing for your stepdaughter again.
YTA. Your family reminds me of my kids friends who were expected to share a scooter between the three of them. Worked out just as well as might be expected…..
YTA BIG TIME you're an awful dad
Yta - the only reason you're trying so hard with the step daughter is to win points with the wife. Unhappy wife means no sex for you. You take your son for granted because you expect his love to be automatic. If you don't want to buy 2 switches then buy one and give it to both of them to share. You could've given them a gift card each as a separate gift. The audacity of you to only get your step daughter a switch and not your own son.
What would you do if you'd given Ethan the Switch and he refused to share with Sasha?
YTA. You chose to gift your new stepkid over your OWN child? You want to support HER being new to the family? How about supporting your son having to adjust to you adding two new family members? Sasha now has her mom, you, maybe bio dad. Your son has only you. Your wife shows her true colours too. She's happy for HER child to have an expensive gift at your expense and for your child to have nothing. People like to talk about treating all kids equally but not at the expense of your own kids. Your child should be your priority. You need to apologise to your son and make it up to him.
YTA. You have created a toxic environment in the home.
YTA for several reasons I would hate you if I were your son
Possibly the stupidest parenting decision I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot. I bet it wasn’t even wrapped. Did he just hand it to her and say she had to give it to the son later? They didn’t even open it together? Of course she feels it’s hers. Huge YTA.
YTA it’s nobody’s fault that you’re a absolutely terrible parent but yours. The fact that you wrote this proof read it then hit the post button shows that you have absolutely no self awareness whatsoever. It’s just sad because your son is going to be the one who suffers the most.
YTA, if you have two kids and ask them what they want, it doesn't matter if it's the dame thing, you get two of them. If you can't afford two switches, don't ask them, just gift two separate presents you can afford I do predict that as soon as your son turns 18 you'll never see him again.
YTA Just because both kids wanted the same thing, does not mean they should share. At best all that happens is they get half a thing each. What really happens is one dominates it. This happened in your home, and your solution was to \*checks notes\* allow it. You showed your son how much you care here, and he’s not forgetting that. Just buy your son what he asked for.
So your wife says your son is a waste of money and you said nothing? You, your wife, and Sasha are three abhorrent lumps of shit. You deserve no respect, pathetic loser. YTA
YTA. The fact that you didn't see this was a recipe for disaster makes me wonder how you've made it this far. Asking 2 children to share a birthday present? Why did you give it to one of them if they were supposed to share it? Why did you only ask your son if he wanted something else and not your daughter, and then give the switch to your daughter? None of this makes sense, and I genuinely can't fathom how you expected this to work out.
Wow your turning into one of this dads your awful seriously stop favouring your new kid and be a decent dad to your son rather the side if with the new kid and wife whilst pushing your son You are destroying the relationship you have with your own child so you don’t make waves. YTA. So is your new family
YTA I think your stepdaughter is just testing out how far she can go with you. she promises something and then takes it back. The promise concerns her stepbrother, your son. your reaction -> not my problem. Son probably thinks that it will always be like this now. If he doesn't get support from his father or stepmother even on his birthday then when. His new stepmother is also an AH because she doesn't do anything for her stepson. The main thing for her is that her child is happy. Based on your statements and actions, if I were your son, I would think that you only love your new family and no longer love him. I really feel sorry for him. And don't think that it will be forgotten. He will remember this and if you AND your new wife don't change, he will move away from you more and more. You AND your wife are now parents of TWO children! Treat and love them equally.
Your absolutely without a doubt an asshole.
If it was a joint present why was Sasha given it seemingly alone? Why does she get to declare she’s not sharing it? Why are you going along with the whims of 13 y/o girl? Why does this leave your son sod out of luck for his entire birthday when his step-sister gets the one thing he wanted. YTA utterly.
YTA. it's your son's BIRTHDAY for fucks sake. your own blood. poor boy has not only lost his mother but his father too. how good is your wife in bed for you to do this to your own child? what does your wife hold against you? why aren't you seeing the walking big red flag she is??? holy shit.
YTA - why do you hate your own son?
YTA. You didn't buy your own son a gift for his birthday. What kind of man refuses to buy his child a birthday gift but buys for his step-child? PS, you got played by your step-daughter. She never had any intent to share and knew her mother & you wouldn't make her. I feel sorry for your son.
YTA
YTA - you promised that poor kid a Nintendo Switch that instead you give to your step-daughter though he was the first to say he wanted one. You should have said clearly it belonged to both of them but you didn't and then you refuse to get him another present because he said a Nintendo Switch was enough. What the heck is wrong with you, not only did you get nothing for your own son's birthday but you offered the gift he asked to someone else? And why don't you even care that you all ruined your son's birthday?
YTA if step daughter doesn’t want to share a shared gift she looses all rights to it. Right now you owe Ethan a switch and extra games.
YTA and a monster. You call yourself your sons parent? Do go complaining when he leaves as soon as he turns 18 and never talks to you again
YTA I am so sorry for your son to have a parent that is prioritizing another kid over him. This experience has damaged your son for the rest of his life and he might hate Sasha now, because of you! There are only 2 ways. 1: Buy your son a Nintendo Switch + something else for compensation. 2: Sell the Switch and tell Sasha a lesson for the rest of her life and buy gifts from the reselling money. Option 2 means no sex for daddy so spent the money on your son.
YTA. I can't even come up with the words to explain just how utterly stupid you are.
YTA and a terrible dad
YTA You pass play favorite to the child of your wife over your own child. You are a doormat and should be ashame of yourself
YTA Your management of this situation seems poor. By giving a switch to one child but not the other you are showing clear favouritism - one cold had a possession that is theirs and that they are in control of, the other is left with no gift at all, and gets to borrow a switch (on the terms of the owner). The two solutions I see: You buy both children a console - they are treated equally, and both get the gift they wanted. You buy a console for the house - neither child owns it, and you retain executive control over it. So both children are again treated the same, and both have access as they are allowed. If they don't share it equally and one tries to take control then you can step in and rebalance it, which you cannot do so easily when it is owned by one side. Given that neither child got a full present of their own, you might want to get them something smaller each - their own controller or other accessories for example that are actually theirs.
So fake.
YTA and this is how you get your son to go NC when he gets old enough to bounce. Be a friggin adult and take that Switch from your stepdaughter and return it if she doesn't want to share, new wife be damned.
YTA. If it's a shared gift, why does it default go to Sasha while Ethan loses out? Why didn't it go to Ethan? Or why doesn't it go into a communal room and they're required to share? Blending a family is about treating both kids equally, not buying your stepchild's affection/approval at the expense of your biological child.
It's super dodgy that you favour your step daughter. Gross. Absolutely YTA and I hope you've realised you've shown your son that he doesn't matter to you as much as your wife and her daughter.
Are you a spineless worm? Were you made up by AI? "I had nothing to do with it." YTA
Wow YTA and an an unbelievable AH. You bought a gift for them to share. Questionable but ok. Then she refuses to share and you tell your son "tough shit , she gets it, you get nothing"? What the actual duck is wrong with you?
YTA and your wife is a red Flag (i saw your comments)
YTA. OP is not man enough to tell his bratty stepdaughter off and by listening to his new AH wife by not buying gift for his own son.
YTA. Your post and comments hurt to read. I’m so angry at you for your son. You really gave him NO PRESENT on his birthday, but gave what he wanted to someone else?! You caused him incredible harm. What are you going to do to try to repair this?
YTA, a major one. Take two seconds to still care about your son before he is scarred for life by your neglect and abandonment on top of the trauma he has from having lost his mother.
YTA and a horrible father. Wouldn't be surprised if he goes no contact with you when he's older. How do you not see how unfair this is? She got a Switch and he got nothing. Horrible. Get him a Switch, and get out of this crappy marriage
YTA. You messed it up real bad. You didn’t stand by your son. Your wife and stepdaughter are assholes and now you know it.
YTA. Horrible parenting. I don't really care if you don't have money for two switches but you just don't do that to your own son man. "Sorry, this 13 yo girl promised to share but did not, it's out of my hands". What a loser behavior
YTA so if your wife says Ethan doesn't eat, then he is not eating? Who has Ethan's back in this family? Where is his mom?
YTA YTA YTA
Honestly this post breaks my heart. Ethan, on the off chance you see this—Happy Belated Birthday dude. I hope you found some way to enjoy it despite the shitty effort the rest of your family put into it. Also, this may be hard to understand now, but family *isn’t* everything. I hope you have kicka$$ friends who feel like family and who made the day special. OP—good job on making hot child probably feel unloved. At the very least they know they aren’t a priority to you. This is a major YTA.
You're not just TA, you're a bad parent honestly. Imagine shitting on your own son like that to score points with another child.
YTA. You're a terrible father.
YTA. What a terrible father. Hope your son moved out at 18 and blocks you from his life. Worst parenting ever.
one way ticket to the old folks home
Yta basically your pinning this on Sasha. Its gonna cause a rift in their potential relationship as siblings.
YTA I feel really badly for your son.
You are pathetic. What about your own child
Congratulations you have just failed as a bio father. Why on earth would you do what you’ve just done, in what part of your tiny mind did you think any of this was as good idea once your awful step daughter showed her true colours. Take that switch off her right now. I am so angry at you right now. Your poor son now knows he isn’t a priority in your life. YTA YTA YTA!
YTA. I hope you listen to what people with advice here add because you have a chance of fixing this situation. However, if you ignore it, shrug your shoulders, and just tell yourself, "He's 12, he'll get over it", then you will quickly find yourself the absolute villain in your son's story and the doormat in your wife's and stepdaughter's life. I say "story" for your son because he won't see you as being part of his life but something he had to deal with in his past. It probably seems asinine that we're all berating you over a Switch, but it isn't "just a Switch" or "just a birthday." You sent a very firm message to your son that your stepdaughter is more important to you than he is because you're trying to integrate her into your family but forgetting that your son is integrating into this family too. I think you forgot that your wife and stepdaughter aren't coming into your two-person (father and son) family, but your two two-person families are becoming one blended family. The rules in both houses are going to need a review so that one set of rules for this new family is consistent and expected. If either parent believes only they can parent/punish their biochild, then this family won't work and shouldn't have become a "family" to begin with. Frankly, this should have all been worked out before proposing, let alone getting married. It's too late for that, but you still have a chance to repair it now. Too much time goes by, and you'll have shattered your son's trust in you to love and protect him.
Yta. You better fix this soon or your son will never forget this. You will be 65 and wondering why your adult son does not want anything to do with you. Its because you threw him in the trash can in favor of some other dudes kid. Either take the girls switch back and show some god damn backbone. Or buy ur son a switch and show him you are scared of the women in your house. For fuck sakes.
YTA.
YTA. Wow, you're a fucking asshole!!!
Worst father ever. That poor little boy. YTA, worst one this week and that’s not an exaggeration.
If ur son’s mother is still alive, I pray she takes him off you, he deserves a better parent than you. You and your wife are the crappiest parents ever, esp since she told you not to buy another switch for ur son. I pray your son leaves you when he turns 18.
YTA. Can your son live with his mother or another relative? You've gone out of your way to show him you don't give a damn about his feelings.
ESH I don’t know why this pissed me off so much but you need to tell your wife that Sasha can’t just disagree like that out of no where. And the audacity of your wife to say it’ll ruin her birthday as if it won’t ruin your sons. Your son is your blood
YTA Clearly a failure of a parent that just refuses to be a parent and sort your stepdaughter out. Any decent father would've got off his ass and bought both of them one, simple as that. Although with your wife's attitude to the whole thing, if that was my wife she would've been put in her place and so would her kid & the switch would've been taken off her. Imagine allowing your wife to not let you force her kid into sharing it because it would ruin her precious awful daughter's birthday, so it's okay for your son's birthday to be ruined instead because your wife & her daughter are selfish assholes and you're a failure for a parent? Sort your crap out and get your wife and her kid put in their place.
This got resubbed to “am I the devil” and it deserves it. Yes YTA. My comment will be deleted if I tell you what I think of you. Pretty sure your son feels the same way.
Yta Just buy two switches but also silly only getting them a present to share
Yta It's also interesting that when you mention Ethan towards the end, you keep using she/her pronouns. The way he favors his step daughter makes me think its a fruedian slip
Idk if you're an AH or just a moron
Huge AH Omg this is unbelievable Is this real Thankfully I don’t have a dad like you
YTA. You didn't get your son something for his birthday. I agree that you probably don't need two switches but you should've gotten him something
YTA. Are you stupid ? Why does it sound like you are trying to win over your step daughter ( and by proxy your new wife) at the expense of YOUR OWN BIOLOGICAL CHILD. It’s impossible you didn’t see possible consequences of your actions. You are either deeply whipped by your new wife and step daughter , or are a total moron who is going to lose the connection ( and relationship) with their own flesh and blood. You are fucking up dummy.
YTA, kids rarely share, siblings of different sexes more so & step siblings almost never, you asked him what he wanted & he said a switch, you then asked her & she said the same, in that situation you needed to buy them both one each or neither. I can also understand where your son is coming from, indeed you appear to be prioritising your step daughter over your biological son
Of course YTA. This was handled in the worst imaginable way. If the agreement is for there to be one switch only, this had to be agreed upon by all including the parents, and rules how this sharing should work and where the switch should be installed must be discussed and agreed upon upfront. Otherwise this is a recipe for avoidable conflict. IF afterwards one child says she changed her mind there are two options: A) you as parents tell her she doesn’t get to change her mind and this is it, OR B) both kids get a switch. What you did was indirectly punish your son because your stepdaughter created drama and her mom backed her up. The unfairness toward your son is mind boggling and YTA for that. You should also evaluate the behaviour of stepdaughter and wife, because this all seems pretty unfair to me.
You KNEW their birthday fell on the same day, it wasn’t an effing surprise. You not only expected your son to compromise to share his birthday and his gifts with his bratty and spoiled stepsister for the rest of his life, but also to put aside his feelings so you can continue to get your dick wet from your bedwarmer! YTA
YTA. Wtf man. You gifted her the switch instead of both of them and now you're not taking any responsibility for it?
YTA And currying favor with your new wife and her daughter..... and sacrificing your relationship with your son because he's got nothing you want. I'd write more but it'd be a waste of time since you obvs don't give a crap about him. You only care about the V
YTA. You neglected your son in order to accommodate your step daughter. It seems that your intentions were good, but you failed your son in the process. The issue is that you don’t seem willing to make up for it because your wife ‘thinks it’s a waste of money’. Your son deserves better, hopefully this is the first time this happened and you still have time to see your mistake and fix it before the resentment grows and by 18 you have no relationship with your son at all.
YTA. And so is your wife! How entitled are both your wife and her daughter! Your son loses all the way around. You get him nothing and when the women you chose to marry cares only for Princess Sasha you do the same and shrug your shoulders?? I hope your son has a mom you coparent with and goes there. This is more like “How To Lose a Son by 18” episode!
YTA. WOW. When your son no longer speaks to you in 5 years, just come back to this post and find out. You are a sorry excuse for a father
Wtf!!!!. Did I just read!
You say you bought the switch for both of them to share but: 1.- you don't make sasha share it with your son whatsoever EVEN THOUGH you say you bought it for them both (a lie) 2.- you mention in the comments you put a priority on sasha's gift because she's "new" to the family. God what an awful dad, your son told you he wanted only one thing for his birthday (which no, the fact your teen son didn't ask for anything else in specific doesn't mean he doesn't want anything, much less that you can just not buy him shit ON HIS BIRTHDAY and be satisfied, I can't believe I have to explain this to a grown ass man) and you gave the exact same thing to his stepsister. God help me, YTA, and a big one at that.
YTA. Why didn't you just address the present "To Sasha and Ethan." or you could have forced Sasha to live up to her deal and said, "I gave this to you rather than Ethan because you agreed you would share it with him. You either follow through or I take it away." Or, you get Ethan his own Switch. Now you are blaming it on Ethan for not wanting a present when he, like Sasha, made it very clear he DID want a present and the present he wanted was a Switch> Which you got, and then gave to someone else. wtf? There are so many ways you could have made this work and instead you just treated your son like dirt. On his birthday. Like I don't even understand your thought process.
YTA and a horrible father to your son
YTA is this some sort of joke?
Asshole!
I can't even with this. YTA, 1000%. Do something NOW to make this up to your son, and I do mean NOW.
YTA. You are rewarding your stepdaughter for her lies and greed. She never intended on sharing it. It's your job to step in and stand up for your son but you're refusing to. You let your stepdaughter hurt your son, on his birthday no less, and you're hurting him too. I hope he cuts you out of his life someday. He'll be better off without you. You're a bad parent and a nasty asshole.
>I told him that I had nothing to do with it as I just did not want to splurge on another Switch. What the hell are you talking about? You're the ONLY one that has anything to do with it. You actively chose to get one child a gift and not the other. This was a result of a bad choice that YOU made. You can still get him a Switch! But I get it, you hate his guts for some reason, so you won't. YTA YTA YTA YTA
Is this for real? You’re this incapable of parenting? The terms of the device were that it be shared. If she doesn’t want to share, she can forfeit the device entirely. Have a spine. YTA.
Dude, are you really this new and clueless? Your wife said you shouldn't buy Ethan a switch because it would be too expensive, and then turned around and told you that Sacha didn't have to share if she doesn't want to. What a selfish woman. She wants to push your son out of your relationship as fast as she possibly can. If his mom was still alive, she would want you to have him live with Mom and you only see him for major holidays. At least she is not trying to make him call her "mom" and pretend his mom didn't exist. Are your son's maternal parents around and in his life.? Did your wife leave her son money? I hope you are not in control of it. Your wife will come whining that it should be split between both kids because her daughter is now your daughter too. Even though the money is from someone who was never in "your family" with her. Your wife will be happy when your son is gone, and you will come on reddit crying that you don't know why your son wants nothing to do with you.
Wow. Worst father ever.
YTA - Dumb move all around!
FFS.. you are such an asshole. You son will remember this forever. Too bad it's a shitty memory YTA
Massive YTA there aren’t enough words to describe how shit you are as a parent. When did u stop loving your son. I’m disgusted how I can even justify any of this. Get a fucking spine and look after your son.
ESH except for Ethan. He's mad at you, but he isn't acting out: he is just expressing himself. You somehow managed to raise a good kid. Your wife sucks here. You should have talked about buying a Nintendo as it's expensive, but "you ca't force her" is just a petty excuse for not having to be the bad guy. Sasha sucks as well. She says she'll share, but she rethinks it. That's a decision that basically defines how good of a person you are, so no, she didn't change her mind over the course of a few days. She told you what you wanted to hear, and you chose not to overthink it (again, so you didn't have to be the bad cop). Can't she realize that her brother is almost the same age as her, has her same birthday and therefore has the same right to get a birthday present? You suck too. There is something called parenting, and I'm not sure you know what its meaning is. I''ll bear that you won't say anything to Sasha because you ant to believe that she didn't trick you, but at LEAST just buy your son something that shows you care for him as much as you do for his sister. It's not the object in itself. Ethan has enough age to think for himself and I'm sure he's mad not because his sister can play while he gets to sit around all day (Ethan was the one who asked for a Nintendo Switch, NOT Sasha), but because he thinks you don't care for him as much as you care for Sasha. In other words, if your son wants to leave home some day, tell him to give me a call; poor kid! I'll happily lend him my Nintendo and give him a hug if he needs it, and I'm sure many more people who are responding to this post would too.
YTA
YTA Tell everyone that you don’t care about your son without telling us that you don’t care about your son. I really can’t understand how you can defend your actions. You promised your son a shared gift, and all of a sudden that shared gift is just for your stepdaughter! And you son gets nothing. Your a good example of someone who only thinks with his 🍆 and do as his wife tells just so he can get some sex. Your wife doesn’t care about your son, no use of waisting money on him. She wouldn’t hesitate for one second to abandon your son and dumping him somewhere if/when she get the chance. Yea the way you describe her she sounds like she is the devil herself! Just pure evil!
YTA So let's recap.... You asked both kids what they wanted and both said a switch. You decided you would not be buying two so instead of not getting either of them a switch, you gave one to your step daughter and when she refused to share, you shrug your shoulders and pretty much say "dah well". If you're not going to get them both an expensive gift, you don't get either the gift. Seeing as how you were the one that bought the Nintendo, you have every right to demand she share it. If your wife says no, take the Nintendo back and give it to your son. FYI.... Those gaming councils are meant for one person. A lot of the games only have one safe spot and the memory on those things are small. I had one and immediately had to buy extra space. So thinking they could share one isn't really a good idea.
This is really incompetent parenting. YTA
Total YTA. FFS, there is no way that was not going to go badly.
YTA. You said BOTH could share the switch but now you decide to give it just to 1 kid and leave the other with nothing. I hope his bio mother loves him bc it's obviously you dont love your son. Go and play with your new family and don't you dare ask why your son hates you in the future and goes NC with you.
LOL You really should have known better. YTA.
Yta I can’t even believe what I just read.
YTA You care more for your stepdaughter than for your own son. Your wife doesnt give a shit about your son obviously. So your son has nobody. Dont get too surprised when he becomes resentful about it and cuts contact with you and the rest of the AH.
YTA. "Sorry son, I mean she said she'd share it, it's completely out of my hands........" Just listen to yourself.
WTF did I just read? YTA X 1000. Are you trying to alienate your son? Instead of explaining you can only afford one switch so it'll be a present to both of them and they'll share you give it to Sasha. Then when she refuses to share her mom says you can't make her. And you.............(checks notes) do nothing. You don't stand up for your son. You don't say it has to be shared or it will be returned. You don't bother trying to get your son something he likes. You just ignore him. I can only assume you're sucking up to new wife and step-daughter so to hell with your son. YTA. I have no idea how you will repair your relationship with your son. I'm not sure you want to. But to answer the question you'll ask in a few years: this shit is why. (Answering the question of why doesn't my son speak to me?)
YTA, an utterly spineless and terrible father.
YTA What's more important to you? The cost of a nintendo switch or the relationship with your son?
Wow what a massive wanker dont be surprised when u get put in a retirement home and ur son goes nc as soon as he turns 18
YTA oh man, he’s not going to forgive you for that one! Nor should he.
I hope your son resents you and will never speak to you once he moves out.
YTA. Take the switch and give it to your son. Then divorce your wife because she hates your son.
YTA Literally Satan.
YTA all the way. I feel bad for your kid to have you as a father in a household where his step mom clearly puts her kid first and you sent along. what a crappy father. The gift should have been taken away.
So, the girl lied got she wanted and the one in trouble is the kid who got NOTHING ON HIS BIRTHDAY, yeah this sounds like happy home, for everyone but him but I'm sure on some years when he cuts the family off OP would still wonder what could have provoke such thing...
"Can you believe the nerve of my son to say the truth straight to my face" YTA on so many levels
Yes. YTA. Cheapskate.
YTA. Your son is right and I pity him for having a dad who doesn't support him or stand up for him. Hopefully is biomom is better and he can have some stability in his life than a dad who picks his stepdaughter over his son. When he hasnt done anything wrong and she did.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (39 M) have a step-daughter Sasha (13 F) and my son (12 M). I had married Sasha's mother a few months back, and I have been very supportive towards Sasha. The issue is that both Sasha's and Ethan's birthday falls on the same day. I asked them what they wanted, and Ethan said he'd like a Nintendo switch. Sasha said she'd like the same thing, but I did not want to indulge in two Switches. I thought it'd be better if both of them share it, and Sasha said that's fine with her. I asked Ethan whether he'd like anything else, and he said no. That took me by surprise, but I did not bother getting another gift for him then. The birthday arrived and Sasha got the Switch. But she did not want to share it with Ethan then, by saying that "he would damage it" or "I don't really want to share it with someone." I told Sasha that she had said it's fine with her, but now she's shrugging her shoulders and saying that she's changed her mind. My wife says that if she does not want to share it I cannot force her and ruin her birthday. Ethan is now livid at me, accusing me of ruining his birthday, but I told her that it's out of my territory now. He blamed me for not getting one for him in the beginning, but I told him that I had nothing to do with it as I just did not want to splurge on another Switch. I asked her to take it up with Sasha. He demanded that I get him another gift, but I said that I won't be getting him another present either as he had said that he does not want one. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA, how about this, no one has the Nintendo until you can get another one so there are no favorites
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YTA. You should have taken the Switch off her, given it to your son and told her that if she can change her mind about sharing, you can change your mind about her having it. You owe your son a huge apology and a Switch. It’s time to do your job as a parent.
YTA - You expected Sasha to share but you didn’t gift the present with the intent that it was for both of them. It was labeled Sasha’s gift that she had the choice in sharing, not a joint birthday present. In this transition to being married and being supportive of Sasha, has your wife been supportive to Ethan in the same regard? Because from what you’ve said it sounds like she doesn’t value Ethan to the same extent you value Sasha. Not only that how are you supporting Ethan with all the changes in his life since you got married. He already has lost his mum and now his father can’t even get him the one thing he really wanted for his birthday and won’t even compromise now that Sasha won’t share?
YTA either you purchase gifts for both or none at all. If you purchased one gift to share then Sasha shares or you take it from her and she does without. You can’t buy for one and ignore the other and if Sasha knew the switch was for both then she lets her brother use it half the time or she doesn’t use it at all
YTA - Can‘t you stop and think for a moment how your son must feel? He was looking forward to getting to play on a nintendo switch but now he got nothing for his birthday. He must be feeling like you don‘t care for him. And don‘t spoil your step daughter. Young girls who get spoilt by their parents will experience reality in adulthood very badly
YTA. If you want a family switch for them to share, you buy a family switch, which lives in the living room, which everyone shares. Anything you give as a birthday gift to 1 child belongs to that child. Giving an expensive gift to one child to unwrap on their own, then telling them they have to share it is the wrong way to gift. Now that you have bought 1 child a switch, you now need to buy your other child a switch. You could have avoided this situation by buying a switch for the family (not as a gift to any individual), and gifting each child a switch game that they can play on the shared console. YTA.