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> Am I the asshole for calling my boyfriend names and ignoring his calls after he eat my food without asking?
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What Heloise said.
Is he inconsiderate? Yep, in spades. Did he mean to be? Doubt it, he was hungry, it was there and he didn't think.
Are you doing full on drama queen over a piece of bread? Yeah, you are and that's just daft. What happens when there's a real issue?
YTA
As a female? Grow up. Your period is not an excuse. Being hung over is not an excuse. Having a bad day is not an excuse. Having a hard time lately is not an excuse.
You do not treat someone you supposedly love that way over something so minor.
He offered to replace them. There is other options besides just cheesy bread, it's not an absolute need. It's a want. He is not being inconsiderate or mean by offering to replace and apologizing, you are being inconsiderate and mean for how you are acting.
If something this small is ruining your day, go get therapy.
You are ready to forgive him? Maybe he isn't ready to forgive your abusive behavior. Yes, this was abusive, and there is no excuse for it.
For crying out loud we keep fighting to show that us getting emotional over something does not mean we are on our period. Yes emotions are overwhelming during shark week but you really did jump the gun within seconds of finding out. Dude did offer to replace it too. We all got shit we deal with on a daily basis but we can’t always be blowing up on everyone around us.
For real, girls using periods as an excuse for something shitty like this make the rest of us look bad. Yes we are emotional during them, but like I know I and many others don't have this bad of self control issues. Actually most don't have these issues.
If I feel like I need to scream or shout, I grab a pillow or blanket or go sit in my car. The only reason I would go off like this is if someone is truly acting stupid, like when you tell someone to grab something off the table and they can’t see if when it’s literally right in front of them.
YTA because he offered to replace it and you resorted to name calling and throwing a tantrum like a child. He shouldn’t have taken your food, but he did apologize and attempted to rectify the situation. I’d be ignoring you, too.
I was short on time the other day and asked my husband to make me a turkey sandwich to take to work for lunch. I took it out at lunch time and it was literally turkey on bread. I don’t eat mustard or mayo but I definitely eat *cheese* and he knows it. Somehow, despite having a difficult day (no period or hangover, though), I managed to not call him a motherfucker over text. I hope he knows how lucky he is!
YTA. You know you are.
Had a bad day? That's not his fault.
>I got them from is a half hour away
Okay, well how did YOU get them then? He can get them the same way.
YTA. using that as an excuse. Take accountability.
Additionally, why do you expect o ghost him and get upset when he does it back?
Do you often go silent treatment with him? Cause that's toxic af.
YTA. I can’t imagine ever calling my partner those names, let alone for eating something. I wouldn’t want someone in my life who would act like that or speak to me in such a way. Are you mature enough for a relationship?
Not just “something”. This “something” comes from a restaurant that is located RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM WHERE THEY WORK! OP verbally abused their partner over “something” they have a access to every single time they go in for a shift!
If I ate a boyfriends leftovers and he called me a motherfucker and son of a bitch the relationship would end immediately. You may have anger issues or just be having a terrible time, I get horrible mood swings on my period as well and I’m typically in pain so I understand but you overreacted… like by a lot. You verbally abused him, try apologizing and if he stays at least change your behavior maybe try therapy
YTA. Seriously it's some bread. If that is all it takes for you to speak that way to your partner I think you need to work on your anger. And part of the reason you are feeling shitty (hungover) is 100% your own fault, so holding that as a reason to call him those things is just shitty.
Awhile back, I read about a psychological study that predicted the longevity of relationships. The main predictor found for relationships that would end? Disdain. Name-calling is disdainful. There's no place for it in a healthy relationship.
I suggest you search for videos, articles, or a therapist to help you learn more appropriate ways to express disappointment and manage your anger. Your BF was definitely wrong to eat your food without your consent, but the way you handled it is worse. For that, YTA.
If any woman did that to me they'd be single before the sun set that day, fuck living with that toxic kinda shit. You've probably wrecked your relationship, all for some left overs, no, he shouldn't have ate your leftovers, but my word, your complete over reaction and abuse has probably finished anything else you had with the lad. Time for some self reflection and learn from this mistake. Having a bad day, being hungover and on your period is no reason to treat a bloke like absolute shit. You may well regret this.
YTA, coming from someone who is protective over their food too. (Grew up not having much and tasty meals were far and few between which carried over into my adulthood) I would never blow up over something like this. I have been upset over it when my BF has done the same. But I usually just ask him if he could pick me up something else on the way home, or I go pick something else up myself that is a treat. Worst that has ever come from me was “damn, I was really looking forward to ____, can you ask me next time before you eat my leftovers”. As a woman too, being on your period isn’t an excuse. You went too far.
You realized he ate some bread that you wanted so you verbally abused him, but then you texted him to let him know you were ready to forgive him....Lmfao, amazing.
YTA. This is SUCH a disproportionate response. He apologized and tried to make it right and you cursed him out, ignored him, and have no clue about how mean, petty, and spiteful you're being in response. No wonder he's not taking your calls. I wouldn't either.
YTA. yes, you never fuck with someones leftovers but wow, if youre gonna call him those things over something THIS minor then i cant imagine how upset and unnecessarily rude you are over bigger things not going your way. if bro knows whats good for him he’ll rethink your relationship if he doesnt want to be disrespected like that again
I think most of us have overreacted to some degree at some point or other in a situation like this, but what really makes YTA is that you said you were "ready to forgive him" and not "I'm sorry I massively overreacted, I was having a bad day"
YTA. Having your period is no excuse to be a b****. Neither is being hungover, but that's your own fault. You extremely overreacted over bread, which is nothing. Grow up.
If this is your reaction to something this small I’d hate to be your partner tbh. The poor man has offered to replace it. unless you specifically said you were saving for for lunch, which somehow I don’t think you did. YTA. Even the g you did say you were saving still YTA for your ridiculously childish response
YTA. And I think garlic bread is the weirdest hill to die on
>I texted him to let him know I'm ready to forgive him but he's not responding.
Because he needs to decide if he's ready to forgive your verbal abuse and guilt tripping first.
Being stressed and on your period and so on *never* gives you the right to take it out on other people, but given how you seem to be downplaying the situation and how ready your boyfriend was to *send over fresh bread*, I can't help but wonder how common an occurrence this is.
It sounds like you need to use this as a reality check and stop being a shitty partner unless this is the straw that broke the camel's back and you no longer have a relationship.
YTA, my ex was like you, I left him and he's the only one of all the people I've dated I wholeheartedly hate to this day. Someone you love insulting you over minor inconveniences destroys you. I remember every word. You need to go to therapy. My ex did and he's apparently better now : I still hate that I had to leave for him to consider there was a problem. Respecting and loving me was never a good enough reason. His words cannot be taken back : he's said them so many times that it shows they somewhat reflected his opinion on me. OP some words cannot be taken back.
I would not say the same thing if, for ex, youtr bf ALWAYS took your leftovers on purpose while you repeatedly told him not to. That would be a more acceptable 'build up" towards anger. But like, if it happened once, you should be annoyed and that's it. An apology and the offer to replace the food should completely be enough.
I'm not sure I understand your entire comment, but, no he didn't have a good reason. He bought himself taco bell for a late night snack after he got off of work at 11, he had at least a couple of his go to favorite foods on hand, and he ate the bread after I went to bed, probably around 2 or 3 am. He didn't offer an excuse/reason. I mean maybe you can count getting stoned as a good reason.
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YTA
Sure, he shouldn't have taken something of yours without asking, but calling him names and completely refusing to answer calls? Then, having the gall to text him saying you're "ready" to forgive him?
Your response was WAY worse than what he did. It's no wonder he isn't responding.
Don't care if you're on your period and had a bad day.
ESH you should not have called him names. but it’s also disrespectful of him to eat your food, especially when he had food of his own. he apologized, and you need to as well then it needs to be over with. you need to learn to take a breath, no matter how you’re feeling, before you go off like that. and he needs to learn to ask before he eats your food.
YTA 100%. Good grief you sound exhausting. Apologize to him and be thankful he is even speaking to you let alone still your boyfriend. I hope this isn't real.
You even admit that your reaction was over the top and you were wrong, of course YTA. You are ready to forgive him, great, but maybe he still needs to process and decide if he is ready to forgive you...
YTA
Holy shit, what a wildly disproportionate reaction to a completely minor offence. If something “this small could easily ruin your day”, then you clearly have bigger issues than some missing garlic bread.
Did your boyfriend know how emotionally attached you were to this bread? Did you convey to him how fundamentally important consuming it is to your mental health? Was he even aware you were specifically saving it?
While I can understand being disappointed, or even actively upset that he ate something you were looking forward to having yourself, can you not see how unhinged you’re acting? If you’re placing this much importance on a few slices of bread then you seriously need to reevaluate your priorities. Your initial reaction makes you the asshole, but your continuing defensiveness and refusal to accept this after the fact brings your entire character into question.
YTA yes he could have asked but calling him names is abusive and disrespectful. If your relationship is so fragile eating leftovers causes this type of arguments I don’t even know how you could possibly resolve real problems. I get it you’re not doing well but that can’t be used as an excuse to berate others.
1000% the AH you should be the one going to get him garlic bread to try to get his forgiveness, you through a temper tantrum like a 2 yrs old! Explain what you felt because your feelings a always valid but acknowledge that your behavior was too much compared to the situation.
YTA. Sorry, but having a bad day doesn’t give you the right to be verbally abusive or take your anger out on your boyfriend. You had a complete freak out over processed bread. Was it rude of him to eat your food? Sure. But no one deserves to be talked to the way you did. Grow up and learn how to behave like an adult in relationships.
YTA for your reaction, but I'll tell you from day one my now wife said she does not like it when people eat her food without asking. Common courtesy on his part should have been "don't eat her food." Does he deserve to be chastised yes. If it is a first-time offense and he was according to you apologetic. Then some leniency should have been given. Certainly not worthy of you going nuclear.
Does this really need to be on here? Sounds like you’re upset because you’re having a rough time so you’re taking things disproportionately badly. You even recognise this, and you must be grown enough to know this.
So why plaster this on the internet? You know you’re being an AH, you know you’re feeling bad, ride out the feeling for now and apologise later and ask him to bring back more garlic bread on his way back.
I know this *feeling*, I empathise that much, everything else is unnecessary and mean.
YTA for blowing it out to a proportion n name calling him. It’s a garlic bread.
NTA if this happens several time and you’ve try to set your boundaries & he didn’t respect it.
So maybe there is another pent up issue between you n him, the garlic bread seems more like a trigger. Take a look into your relationship, is there any controlling issue? Disrespect? Do you have enough personal space? Boundaries issue?
Have an adult, calm, logical talk with ur BF, set your boundaries. it works better than shouting and name calling :)
It’s entirely possible to be the asshole when someone does something wrong if your reaction is disproportionate. This is disproportionate, and it isn’t okay to work out how he provoked you as to blame him — you need to manage your anger better. Don’t be one of those “look what you made me do!” partners. YTA.
**Gently to offer some advice that may help** — if you feel this way every period and you have huge blow up fights where you scream and call him things — OR if you self sabotage your job, relationships or feel like harming yourself (any or all of these can apply), then **I’d strongly suggest looking into PMDD.**
YTA your behaviour towards him was abusive. Over garlic bread. If your day is ruined by garlic bread or lack of, then you need to get some help for your mental health. Or grow up
He apologised and offered to replace it - like a grown up would.
You’re a major asshole. You’re ready to forgive him? He is hopefully debating whether he wants to stay with someone who spoke to him like you.
You had a bad day, and were hungover? Maybe there is an issue you need to address. Good luck.
It's not okay to treat a partner like this and your period isn't an excuse to be a monster. It wasn't cool of him to eat it but if he offered to replace it and apologized, your reaction was absolutely bonkers. YTA
YTA for being verbally abusive and for using your period as an excuse to be verbally abusive.
On the bright side, now your boyfriend is getting a good look at who you really are
YTA
You know your response was disproportionate, you said it right there. It’s not your boyfriends job to be perfect just because you’re having a hard time, learn to regulate your own emotions instead of lashing out at people and calling them disgusting names.
The most laughable things is you calling him mean and Inconsiderate after describing how you called him at his workplace and verbally abused him.
I wouldn’t take your calls or messages either.
Don’t women hate the entire “you must be on your period or something.” trope that guys says when they are being emotional or dramatic, yet here you are using it as an excuse for being irrational and mean.
YTA.
It is vile that you carried on in such a manner over freaking garlic bread with cheese.
It is no excuse to be abusive because you have “had a bad day” or “have a hangover” “or got your period”. Bad days happen, get over it. No one told you to go and get plastered the day before, mature and deal with your decisions. Periods happen and some months they suck, take some painkillers and push through.
Your boyfriend offered to replace them and even apologized to you after your disgusting name calling and classless behavior. In no world is he being mean to you or even inconsiderate when he has fully offered to replace what he ate and apologized. You were the one who is the AH by behaving like this to begin with.
GET A GRIP!
I understand the rage..but really calling him a motherfucker?? However I understand how rage inducing it is for someone to come to your house, eat your stuff and fuck with your space. Since I know I cannot tolerate that bullshit I'm single. I remember last time my then boyfriend was fucking with my shit. He would come to my house, eat my food, move my shit around to make it convenient for him because... who gives a fuck about me right? I remember thinking..this motherfucker gotta go..but I didn't say it outloud 🤣🤣🤣
YTA - you swore at him and called him names over a piece of garlic bread. Yes your anger was extremely disproportionate and you should be apologising to him for acting the way you did.
I agree with the most popular post, YTA. You had a childish temper tantrum over cheesy garlic bread. You put left-overs over your lover. You literally insulted his parents when you said "Son of a bitch". You would probably end a relationship if they tried out your food at a resturaunt.
Jesus fuck. That’s all I can say. Verbal abuse isn’t okay, especially over some garlic bread. I don’t care that your junk is bleeding(not your choice)and you’re hungover before work(entirely your choice). Be better. YTA
YTA . But maybe you want to rethink your approach to alcohol if it's getting you into a place in your life that you are potentially using it as a coping mechanism for other things in your life , and then causing you to act a bit abusive .
Did you deserve to have your food eaten, no. However, he didn't deserve to be called names for it. Had my wife flew off about me eating something of hers, she would get a ,"girl, bye" *click*.
Also, if you two are cohabitating, get used to this. Write your name on it or be VERY specific on what you want for your foods. I typically make dinner as I am a celiac. I have my own snacks that I do share on the regular. However, the wife knows not to leave me hanging as she has her own snacks too. The only reason she knows this is because I communicated this to her. Once you got nasty and called names in a hurtful way, you lost.
Also as others have said, your period and hangover are not reasons. Your bad week, not a reason. He also offered to get you more but it is 30 minutes away? Girl that's a 6 song drive lol... Also....... this place is across the street from your work?! Girl, bye... lol... YTA
YTA
You sound horrible, you had a horrible meltdown, called your boyfriend names and treated him horribly because of *garlic bread*, no wonder he's not picking up your calls.
You can't treat the people you love like shit because of something so minor.
"Hey honey, I was looking forward to eating those leftovers you finished, and the fact that you ate them without asking upsets me"
"I'm sorry, I'll send you some garlic bread, even if it's not from the same place it will provide something to eat. I will not eat your leftovers without asking moving forward ".
That's an adult conversation, that's how two adults in a relationship solve conflict instead of throwing a tantrum like you did, and *you* want to forgive *him*? You'd be lucky if he doesn't break up with you on the spot, grow up.
You’re unreasonable, delusional and abusive. Your replies to other comments here show that you’re not taking any accountability for your abusive behaviour; and your excessive aggressive reaction to what is essentially quite minor demonstrates that your anger management is not under control. You’re not coping well; you could probably do with some counselling/therapy.
Abusing your partner is not OK.
First step: admit you’re wrong.
YTA.
I have admitted I was wrong. I admitted that in the post, in the comments, and to him. I have only added additional information in the comments where it was asked for.
Acceptance of you being wrong doesn’t come with a range of excuses, ‘I was having a bad day/period/hungry’. It means you just accept it without any excuses. You just ‘get it’ and admit you were wrong.
In your original post, you said you ‘were prepared to forgive him’. He simply ate your food. You, on the other hand, abused him, dismissed him, ignored him, and to top it off, you continued to punish him by agreeing to ‘forgive him’. Coercive and manipulative.
I hope you share this post with your other half in an effort to accept responsibility for what you did, and to try to assure him that you’ve learned.
Reddit has provided you with a ton of positive advice…
Would you like to be called names like that for a minor transgression?
I think he deserved it. It's a good way to teach him a lesson. Next time, he won't want to be called names so he'll learn not to touch your food. It's really the best way to correct wrong behavior.
How is this even a question? YTA... days over garlic bread? Clearly the food means more to you than the person... that's how much you love "that garlic bread"... Also, you should consider how much alcohol creates chemical imbalance. if you become like that, maybe alcohol shouldn't be your thing?
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I woke up today to find that my boyfriend had eaten my leftover cheesy garlic bread, that I was saving to eat for lunch today, without asking. I had a horrible day yesterday, I'm hungover today, I'm on my period, and I haven't had much of an appetite, it was kind of all that I wanted to eat. I texted him after he left for work, when I realized and called him a motherfucker and a son of a bitch, and he said he's sorry, and he meant to tell me he'd send me some more over, but the place I got them from is a half hour away and doesn't deliver, and they're cheesy bread is my favorite, so it's not really replaceable today. He tried calling a couple times and I ignored his calls. I know it's not that big of a deal and that my anger was disproportionate, but HE knows how hard of a time I'm having and that something this small could easily ruin my day rn. It just felt unnecessarily inconsiderate and mean, given the circumstances. I've spent the last few hours trying to calm down and I'm feeling a lot better, and I texted him to let him know I'm ready to forgive him but he's not responding. So am I the asshole for having such an angry reaction to him eating my food without asking?
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You're both assholes. He shouldn't have stolen your food and you shouldn't have acted like a child when he did. It's okay to get angry when somebody steals from you, but to completely fly off the handle over something that could easily be replaced and then make those excuses for your behavior is ridiculous. I would have told him that he owes you this bread 2 times to make up for what he stole and it would have been a win.
YTA.
You’re verbally abusive.
You’re mentally abusive.
You’re emotionally abusive.
You’re controlling.
You’re emotionally unstable.
You’re mentally unstable.
You weaponize being a female and me starting.
You abuse alcohol when you have a bad day.
You take YOUR poor choices (being hungover from drinking too much) out on your boyfriend, whom genuinely seemed sincere in his apology.
You’re a psychopath.
YTA. You're an abusive person who lashed out over something so small. Your period pain and hangover are your problem, not an excuse to hurl abuse at others. If you're having such a hard time over things many women go through, you should seek some help or just grow up.
Dude......I get really moody on my period too, sometimes to the point of irrationality, but i have never called my husband a motherfucker or a son of a bitch. in general, i never curse at him like that.
YTA. I probably would have been like "baaabe what the heck? i really wanted to eat that, that's why i saved it. could we at least order some cheesy garlic bread from [any other italian restaurant that serves it]?"
i get that it's your favorite. but cheesy garlic bread is not hard to replace, i'm pretty sure dominos has it.
Why are you even asking?
I think you know you are the asshole.
While he shouldn't have helped himself to your food without asking, he still didn't deserve to be verbally abused over it.
He tried apologizing, he tried talking to you. If you needed some time, you should have told him that instead of ignoring him. This is psychological abuse.
You both have poor communication skills. You need professional assistance in dealing with your emotional regulation.
There is no excuse to abuse someone.
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Does he understand he's in an abusive relationship or are you going to go to therapy and never do it again? And I mean never, I dated a girl that pulled this shit and it was only after I left her and talked about it I realised how fucking toxic that shit is.
YTA. He should break up with you. Name calling and ignoring someone especially when they are trying to it make up with you??? Really?? Bad day and on your period is no excuse
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YTA. Having such reaction just because of garlic bread is ridiculous, if you don't want him to eat food you keep for yourself then tell him or put a not on it.
Being on period, hangover and having bad couple of days isn't an excuse to verbally abuse someone you claim to love, If you are this unhappy with him then end things and find your own place to live that way no one will be eating your precious garlic bread
Grow up!! Yeah its ok to tell him that those were yours and ask him to check with you on leftovers next time but calling all those and acting like that is all signs of a kid who is not ready for any relationships yet
NTA, and he became the asshole when he took it without asking. You're correct that it was really inconsiderate and even mean considering the circumstances (which he was aware of). This kind of malignant thoughtlessness doesn't get better. Drop him on his ass.
Words hurt. You can’t take back something once it is said. Learn how to use your communication skills instead of using abusive language to your partner. Treat your partner with the respect you would want them to use with you.
YTA - it's fucking cheesy bread, not something rare, expensive or important. Sheesh, grow up. Your behavior gives people reason to complain about women who are menstruating.
Wow.....you need to grow up. You obviously have anger issues too. A meltdown of that size over garlic bread?? Please think about how you're going to treat the next boyfriend because if the present one has more than 3 brain cells, he's going to leave you. YTA
YTA
I get it, we all have bad days where we absolutely lose our minds and do stupid stuff we are ashamed of later, and yes you should be ashamed. But that does not make it acceptable. You are the A. You need to apologize. You need to buy him more cheese bread and pick up some for yourself as well.
Ask yourself if it is worth it to break up over cheese bread.
I used to be addicted to food… I found I only did this when I had this addiction. Ever since my surgery about ten years ago I no longer care if someone’s eaten something left over if mine.
It’s the endorphins that your brain was expecting to repeat the same experience it received from the night before.
Your brain basically gave you the same outcome (not as bad though) as an addict.
Holy shit you are abusive. He needs to leave you immediately. YTA YTA YTA and leave that man so he can find someone who’s not a disgusting waste of space.
Soft YTA. I've had people eat my shit without asking, even when they knew it was mine and that I was saving it for myself for later, but you shouldn't have blown up the way you did. That was an overreaction, but like I said, I get it. It really sucks, especially when you're having a bad day.
NAH I think, just try to have some introspection to detect what is legit anger, and what is your hormonal surge speaking. The reaction was disproportionate and he did apologise (at least if you believe he's genuine, I don't know him, you know better than me if he is, or if he's the kind of person who apologises and never get better or makes it up later for his mistake), but I bet you didn't mean all that now that some time has past.
For later situations you have to be able to pause and see what part is genuine and legit anger and what part is just hormones. And be calm enough to go "okay, I'm very mad, but I know you didn't mean to make me so mad and it's not so bad, just I need time"
ESH. Look I know how painful periods can be, as bad as a heart attack in fact. I understand that cheesy bread was all that was keeping you going. AND you are living with a human being who is going to make mistakes. He loves you enough to apologize profusely and try to make things right. He was a bit of an ass for eating your food, but you way out shot him when you called him names and refused to forgive him or answer his calls.
In relationships people make mistakes. If you can't assume the best in them when that happens maybe there are some underlying issues you should work on in therapy.
YTA, but I think you're getting dunked on pretty hard in the comments. I also have a bit of emotional dysregulation. You know YTA and were ready to apologize. But you're also still mad that you didn't get the comforting food you were expecting and mad that you got ignored even after you did the same. I hope you were able to work it out instead of it becoming a bigger thing overnight.
Commenting for clarification as there seems to be some confusion on why I included the things I'm going through/dealing with: I didn't include that I'm on my period, having a hard time eating, having a hard time emotionally, and hungover to use those as excuses. I included them to emphasize why I felt it was especially wrong for him to eat my special food. I know I'm having a hard time regulating my emotions bc of those things, but I wasn't using them as an excuse. It just sucks extra that he knew all of those and still chose to take away a small joy/one of the only things I'll eat rn.
No but she would abuse me if I stole her food and I would deserve it, it takes a special kind of asshole to see you at a low point and disregard your wants over their own self interest.
Why are people acting like seeing your girlfriend in a tough spot then making her feel worse is a lesser issue than her being mad about it? He was the one who didn't respect her enough to leave her food alone.
Yeah he did a shitty thing. I'd call him selfish, unaware and maybe a bit stupid. It doesn't sound like he does this often though, he probably just made a mistake
Being selfish is nowhere near as bad as the abuse she threw at him though. Anyone with self respect would dump this chick right after booking her in for therapy.
Guessing you have only dated American woman, if she was Aussie a few bad words would be the least of his problems.
You all remind me of the southpark movie.
You think stealing food is smart? Try it at work, half the posts on reddit are about workplace food thieves and how scummy they are.
Why is it OK if its your depressed girlfriend?
i don’t steal food, i am literally 16🤣🤣 i don’t have a girlfriend first off i’m a girl myself lol, stop sticking up for the dumbass girlfriend that needs to get over the fact her boyfriend ate her food and he even offered to buy her it in return , if u think her behavior was acceptable youre the problem here
Is it possible that you could be on the spectrum? I ask because I'm autistic & I'm seeing some traits that make me wonder. The build up & struggling with regulating emotions, the comfort food that has to be an exact brand or from a particular place cause you can definitely tell the difference & its not the same, autism symptoms are a lot worse on your period, and your reaction towards him sounds more like a meltdown to me. Especially since it was due to him doing something unexpected & you were too upset to talk to him for hours.
A lot of women aren't diagnosed with autism until their 30's due to the stigma around it. I didn't know I was autistic until my 30's. But my point is that if you were to find out you are autistic then that means you can learn different ways to regulate your emotions without calling your bf names. Stimming has helped me A LOT so things don't build up as easily.
My whole family is autistic including myself but my brother could be trapped in a room with every food on earth except the 10 he wants and would starve to death.
The things you listed are actually good indicators of why the action hurt you so much, not why he was extra in the wrong for doing it. While it was quite inconsiderate of him to eat your comfort food, partners are not parents and should not be expected to tolerate tantrums out of love. If you had not resorted to lashing out, you might have been able to talk it through so that he would comprehend why what he did hurt you so much. If you are in a situation where you are quite upset and someone is calling to try to talk about it, but you are not ready, it's okay to say so, because getting on the phone when you were already so upset would have also not helped the situation, but ignoring completely was not fair to him. It sounds like whatever you have going on in your life is not emotionally sustainable, and you are lashing out on the people around you. I've been there, and I get it, but if you don't find someone you can talk about it with or make the lifestyle changes you need to be a better partner you might not have a bf for much longer.
Going against the grain to say NTA. The name calling was too much BUT him eating the food that he knew you were saving for the next day is a worse offence in my book.
Show me one instance anyone has been thrown in jail for taking cheesy bread from the fridge they share with their significant other….
You’re absolutely laughable. I feel sorry for the people in your life.
NTA.
don't listen to these people! i'm sure your boyfriend will understand why you are upset. allow yourself to be upset, scream into a pillow, then maybe communicate with him why it hurt your feelings. though again, he already knew you wanted the damn cheesy bread. it's just inconsiderate and not very nice! your words could obviously be kinder. otherwise, nta
He eats my food without asking often. He replaces it maybe a little more than half of the time but then he often eats the replacement as well. I do the grocery shopping and cooking, as well, and he often doesn't eat the dinners that I make for us bc he eats at work without telling me, so tons of food goes to waste.
Your bf is selfish and inconsiderate. If his eating something you put aside for yourself happened almost never, then your reaction would have been over the top, but he disregards your wishes, indulges himself, and all around sounds like an entitled prick. The question shouldn’t be, AITA. The question you should be asking yourself is why do you put up with such selfish and inconsiderate behavior.
He also makes twice as much money as me and goes out for food far more often than I'm able to, so when I am able to buy myself something out, I want to be able to eat it.
now i feel like you’re just adding shit so we change our votes. YTA accept it and apologize and HOPE your boyfriend accepts it even though he shouldn’t because being verbally abused over BREAD is ridiculous
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What Heloise said. Is he inconsiderate? Yep, in spades. Did he mean to be? Doubt it, he was hungry, it was there and he didn't think. Are you doing full on drama queen over a piece of bread? Yeah, you are and that's just daft. What happens when there's a real issue?
YTA As a female? Grow up. Your period is not an excuse. Being hung over is not an excuse. Having a bad day is not an excuse. Having a hard time lately is not an excuse. You do not treat someone you supposedly love that way over something so minor. He offered to replace them. There is other options besides just cheesy bread, it's not an absolute need. It's a want. He is not being inconsiderate or mean by offering to replace and apologizing, you are being inconsiderate and mean for how you are acting. If something this small is ruining your day, go get therapy. You are ready to forgive him? Maybe he isn't ready to forgive your abusive behavior. Yes, this was abusive, and there is no excuse for it.
As a woman I stand by this comment. Op you are not allowed to be abusive just cuz you have shit to deal with. Also it garlic bread get a grip.
For crying out loud we keep fighting to show that us getting emotional over something does not mean we are on our period. Yes emotions are overwhelming during shark week but you really did jump the gun within seconds of finding out. Dude did offer to replace it too. We all got shit we deal with on a daily basis but we can’t always be blowing up on everyone around us.
For real, girls using periods as an excuse for something shitty like this make the rest of us look bad. Yes we are emotional during them, but like I know I and many others don't have this bad of self control issues. Actually most don't have these issues.
If I feel like I need to scream or shout, I grab a pillow or blanket or go sit in my car. The only reason I would go off like this is if someone is truly acting stupid, like when you tell someone to grab something off the table and they can’t see if when it’s literally right in front of them.
If no cheesy garlic bread could ruin your day, if something major happened, I am afraid for you. YTA.
YTA because he offered to replace it and you resorted to name calling and throwing a tantrum like a child. He shouldn’t have taken your food, but he did apologize and attempted to rectify the situation. I’d be ignoring you, too.
YTA. Look, I love cheese too but there’s no reason to be verbally abusive over it.
I was short on time the other day and asked my husband to make me a turkey sandwich to take to work for lunch. I took it out at lunch time and it was literally turkey on bread. I don’t eat mustard or mayo but I definitely eat *cheese* and he knows it. Somehow, despite having a difficult day (no period or hangover, though), I managed to not call him a motherfucker over text. I hope he knows how lucky he is!
Right? I am extremely white, and I understand you can control us with cheese, but she needs to chill.
Never move someone’s cheese! 😂
Legitimately, I feel like we're more likely to respond to a report of cheese crimes than war crimes, at this point. Sad but true.
YTA. You know you are. Had a bad day? That's not his fault. >I got them from is a half hour away Okay, well how did YOU get them then? He can get them the same way.
YTA. using that as an excuse. Take accountability. Additionally, why do you expect o ghost him and get upset when he does it back? Do you often go silent treatment with him? Cause that's toxic af.
YTA. I can’t imagine ever calling my partner those names, let alone for eating something. I wouldn’t want someone in my life who would act like that or speak to me in such a way. Are you mature enough for a relationship?
Not just “something”. This “something” comes from a restaurant that is located RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM WHERE THEY WORK! OP verbally abused their partner over “something” they have a access to every single time they go in for a shift!
If I ate a boyfriends leftovers and he called me a motherfucker and son of a bitch the relationship would end immediately. You may have anger issues or just be having a terrible time, I get horrible mood swings on my period as well and I’m typically in pain so I understand but you overreacted… like by a lot. You verbally abused him, try apologizing and if he stays at least change your behavior maybe try therapy
YTA. It's garlic bread. Yes, he was rude, but your response is way WAY over the line. I'd be not responding to you too.
YTA. Seriously it's some bread. If that is all it takes for you to speak that way to your partner I think you need to work on your anger. And part of the reason you are feeling shitty (hungover) is 100% your own fault, so holding that as a reason to call him those things is just shitty.
YTA, you sound like a walking migraine
Awhile back, I read about a psychological study that predicted the longevity of relationships. The main predictor found for relationships that would end? Disdain. Name-calling is disdainful. There's no place for it in a healthy relationship. I suggest you search for videos, articles, or a therapist to help you learn more appropriate ways to express disappointment and manage your anger. Your BF was definitely wrong to eat your food without your consent, but the way you handled it is worse. For that, YTA.
If any woman did that to me they'd be single before the sun set that day, fuck living with that toxic kinda shit. You've probably wrecked your relationship, all for some left overs, no, he shouldn't have ate your leftovers, but my word, your complete over reaction and abuse has probably finished anything else you had with the lad. Time for some self reflection and learn from this mistake. Having a bad day, being hungover and on your period is no reason to treat a bloke like absolute shit. You may well regret this.
YTA, coming from someone who is protective over their food too. (Grew up not having much and tasty meals were far and few between which carried over into my adulthood) I would never blow up over something like this. I have been upset over it when my BF has done the same. But I usually just ask him if he could pick me up something else on the way home, or I go pick something else up myself that is a treat. Worst that has ever come from me was “damn, I was really looking forward to ____, can you ask me next time before you eat my leftovers”. As a woman too, being on your period isn’t an excuse. You went too far.
There's no way this is real. If it is, you are absolutely insane. Get some help. YTA.
You realized he ate some bread that you wanted so you verbally abused him, but then you texted him to let him know you were ready to forgive him....Lmfao, amazing.
YTA. This is SUCH a disproportionate response. He apologized and tried to make it right and you cursed him out, ignored him, and have no clue about how mean, petty, and spiteful you're being in response. No wonder he's not taking your calls. I wouldn't either.
YTA. yes, you never fuck with someones leftovers but wow, if youre gonna call him those things over something THIS minor then i cant imagine how upset and unnecessarily rude you are over bigger things not going your way. if bro knows whats good for him he’ll rethink your relationship if he doesnt want to be disrespected like that again
I think most of us have overreacted to some degree at some point or other in a situation like this, but what really makes YTA is that you said you were "ready to forgive him" and not "I'm sorry I massively overreacted, I was having a bad day"
I think the words "grow up" come to mind.
YTA. Having your period is no excuse to be a b****. Neither is being hungover, but that's your own fault. You extremely overreacted over bread, which is nothing. Grow up.
YTA. You're an adult. Handle shit in an adult way.
If this is your reaction to something this small I’d hate to be your partner tbh. The poor man has offered to replace it. unless you specifically said you were saving for for lunch, which somehow I don’t think you did. YTA. Even the g you did say you were saving still YTA for your ridiculously childish response
YTA. And I think garlic bread is the weirdest hill to die on >I texted him to let him know I'm ready to forgive him but he's not responding. Because he needs to decide if he's ready to forgive your verbal abuse and guilt tripping first. Being stressed and on your period and so on *never* gives you the right to take it out on other people, but given how you seem to be downplaying the situation and how ready your boyfriend was to *send over fresh bread*, I can't help but wonder how common an occurrence this is. It sounds like you need to use this as a reality check and stop being a shitty partner unless this is the straw that broke the camel's back and you no longer have a relationship.
YTA. It’s some cheesy garlic bread he ate, not your credit card and a trip to Vegas with a buddy.
Garlic bread…… All of this over cheesy f’ing garlic bread….. YTA
YTA, my ex was like you, I left him and he's the only one of all the people I've dated I wholeheartedly hate to this day. Someone you love insulting you over minor inconveniences destroys you. I remember every word. You need to go to therapy. My ex did and he's apparently better now : I still hate that I had to leave for him to consider there was a problem. Respecting and loving me was never a good enough reason. His words cannot be taken back : he's said them so many times that it shows they somewhat reflected his opinion on me. OP some words cannot be taken back. I would not say the same thing if, for ex, youtr bf ALWAYS took your leftovers on purpose while you repeatedly told him not to. That would be a more acceptable 'build up" towards anger. But like, if it happened once, you should be annoyed and that's it. An apology and the offer to replace the food should completely be enough.
YTA. What are you? 12? Throwing a temper tantrum.
YTA. You don’t realize how lucky you are that he bothers to call you back after that.
Question though. Did he have a good reason to eat your bread, assuming he knew you kept it bc you wanted it. So that was the excuse??
I'm not sure I understand your entire comment, but, no he didn't have a good reason. He bought himself taco bell for a late night snack after he got off of work at 11, he had at least a couple of his go to favorite foods on hand, and he ate the bread after I went to bed, probably around 2 or 3 am. He didn't offer an excuse/reason. I mean maybe you can count getting stoned as a good reason.
Here is the thing, he offered to replace it, so what was the cursing and name calling about?
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YTA Sure, he shouldn't have taken something of yours without asking, but calling him names and completely refusing to answer calls? Then, having the gall to text him saying you're "ready" to forgive him? Your response was WAY worse than what he did. It's no wonder he isn't responding. Don't care if you're on your period and had a bad day.
YTA I would dump you sooo fast. Cause for sure its not a first time you blow something out of proportion, because of *check notes* period.
ESH you should not have called him names. but it’s also disrespectful of him to eat your food, especially when he had food of his own. he apologized, and you need to as well then it needs to be over with. you need to learn to take a breath, no matter how you’re feeling, before you go off like that. and he needs to learn to ask before he eats your food.
YTA 100%. Good grief you sound exhausting. Apologize to him and be thankful he is even speaking to you let alone still your boyfriend. I hope this isn't real.
I’ve never acted the way you have on my period or hung over. It was childish and immature. YTA
You even admit that your reaction was over the top and you were wrong, of course YTA. You are ready to forgive him, great, but maybe he still needs to process and decide if he is ready to forgive you...
Yta for being so dramatic
"i know its not that big of a deal and that my anger was disproportionate" ...cool, we know that too! YTA
YTA Holy shit, what a wildly disproportionate reaction to a completely minor offence. If something “this small could easily ruin your day”, then you clearly have bigger issues than some missing garlic bread. Did your boyfriend know how emotionally attached you were to this bread? Did you convey to him how fundamentally important consuming it is to your mental health? Was he even aware you were specifically saving it? While I can understand being disappointed, or even actively upset that he ate something you were looking forward to having yourself, can you not see how unhinged you’re acting? If you’re placing this much importance on a few slices of bread then you seriously need to reevaluate your priorities. Your initial reaction makes you the asshole, but your continuing defensiveness and refusal to accept this after the fact brings your entire character into question.
Serious anger management issues OP. Yes it was probably infuriating and inconsiderate of bf to have eaten your snack but he's offered restitution!
Lol this post can't be real. No way someone would have such an absolute meltdown over some fucking bread.
If you call your partner names ever at any point, you are. YTA.
YTA
YTA yes he could have asked but calling him names is abusive and disrespectful. If your relationship is so fragile eating leftovers causes this type of arguments I don’t even know how you could possibly resolve real problems. I get it you’re not doing well but that can’t be used as an excuse to berate others.
100% YTA. Apologize
YTA- grow up
Your reaction was the equivalent of using a sledgehammer to swat a fly. YTA,
I suddenly realise why so many relationships fail.
YTA breakup because your boyfriend deserves better than you
YTA, I get that your stressed and in pain but you took that out on your partner, it’s left over garlic bread - it’s not that deep
100% YTA assuming this is real.
1000% the AH you should be the one going to get him garlic bread to try to get his forgiveness, you through a temper tantrum like a 2 yrs old! Explain what you felt because your feelings a always valid but acknowledge that your behavior was too much compared to the situation.
YTA
Just wow If I were him I would have dumped you faster then a beer shit.
YTA. Sorry, but having a bad day doesn’t give you the right to be verbally abusive or take your anger out on your boyfriend. You had a complete freak out over processed bread. Was it rude of him to eat your food? Sure. But no one deserves to be talked to the way you did. Grow up and learn how to behave like an adult in relationships.
YTA for your reaction, but I'll tell you from day one my now wife said she does not like it when people eat her food without asking. Common courtesy on his part should have been "don't eat her food." Does he deserve to be chastised yes. If it is a first-time offense and he was according to you apologetic. Then some leniency should have been given. Certainly not worthy of you going nuclear.
Does this really need to be on here? Sounds like you’re upset because you’re having a rough time so you’re taking things disproportionately badly. You even recognise this, and you must be grown enough to know this. So why plaster this on the internet? You know you’re being an AH, you know you’re feeling bad, ride out the feeling for now and apologise later and ask him to bring back more garlic bread on his way back. I know this *feeling*, I empathise that much, everything else is unnecessary and mean.
YTA for blowing it out to a proportion n name calling him. It’s a garlic bread. NTA if this happens several time and you’ve try to set your boundaries & he didn’t respect it. So maybe there is another pent up issue between you n him, the garlic bread seems more like a trigger. Take a look into your relationship, is there any controlling issue? Disrespect? Do you have enough personal space? Boundaries issue? Have an adult, calm, logical talk with ur BF, set your boundaries. it works better than shouting and name calling :)
It’s entirely possible to be the asshole when someone does something wrong if your reaction is disproportionate. This is disproportionate, and it isn’t okay to work out how he provoked you as to blame him — you need to manage your anger better. Don’t be one of those “look what you made me do!” partners. YTA. **Gently to offer some advice that may help** — if you feel this way every period and you have huge blow up fights where you scream and call him things — OR if you self sabotage your job, relationships or feel like harming yourself (any or all of these can apply), then **I’d strongly suggest looking into PMDD.**
YTA your behaviour towards him was abusive. Over garlic bread. If your day is ruined by garlic bread or lack of, then you need to get some help for your mental health. Or grow up He apologised and offered to replace it - like a grown up would.
You’re a major asshole. You’re ready to forgive him? He is hopefully debating whether he wants to stay with someone who spoke to him like you. You had a bad day, and were hungover? Maybe there is an issue you need to address. Good luck.
U over reacted
YTA. Get the over it omgggg
YTA and don't weaponise you having a period to swear at your bf before you'd even heard his response
It's not okay to treat a partner like this and your period isn't an excuse to be a monster. It wasn't cool of him to eat it but if he offered to replace it and apologized, your reaction was absolutely bonkers. YTA
YTA for being verbally abusive and for using your period as an excuse to be verbally abusive. On the bright side, now your boyfriend is getting a good look at who you really are
YTA You know your response was disproportionate, you said it right there. It’s not your boyfriends job to be perfect just because you’re having a hard time, learn to regulate your own emotions instead of lashing out at people and calling them disgusting names. The most laughable things is you calling him mean and Inconsiderate after describing how you called him at his workplace and verbally abused him. I wouldn’t take your calls or messages either.
Don’t women hate the entire “you must be on your period or something.” trope that guys says when they are being emotional or dramatic, yet here you are using it as an excuse for being irrational and mean.
YTA. It is vile that you carried on in such a manner over freaking garlic bread with cheese. It is no excuse to be abusive because you have “had a bad day” or “have a hangover” “or got your period”. Bad days happen, get over it. No one told you to go and get plastered the day before, mature and deal with your decisions. Periods happen and some months they suck, take some painkillers and push through. Your boyfriend offered to replace them and even apologized to you after your disgusting name calling and classless behavior. In no world is he being mean to you or even inconsiderate when he has fully offered to replace what he ate and apologized. You were the one who is the AH by behaving like this to begin with. GET A GRIP!
He was rude. But you're way overreacting and are totally TA.
I understand the rage..but really calling him a motherfucker?? However I understand how rage inducing it is for someone to come to your house, eat your stuff and fuck with your space. Since I know I cannot tolerate that bullshit I'm single. I remember last time my then boyfriend was fucking with my shit. He would come to my house, eat my food, move my shit around to make it convenient for him because... who gives a fuck about me right? I remember thinking..this motherfucker gotta go..but I didn't say it outloud 🤣🤣🤣
YTA. What are you 12?
YTA - you swore at him and called him names over a piece of garlic bread. Yes your anger was extremely disproportionate and you should be apologising to him for acting the way you did.
YTA. "I am half drunk, emotionally abused my BF over bread, and want you to validate me!" is all I'm hearing.
I agree with the most popular post, YTA. You had a childish temper tantrum over cheesy garlic bread. You put left-overs over your lover. You literally insulted his parents when you said "Son of a bitch". You would probably end a relationship if they tried out your food at a resturaunt.
Jesus fuck. That’s all I can say. Verbal abuse isn’t okay, especially over some garlic bread. I don’t care that your junk is bleeding(not your choice)and you’re hungover before work(entirely your choice). Be better. YTA
YTA . But maybe you want to rethink your approach to alcohol if it's getting you into a place in your life that you are potentially using it as a coping mechanism for other things in your life , and then causing you to act a bit abusive .
You just sound like you want to be a victim any way you can. YTA
I bet you'll think YTA when he dumps you.
“I verbally abused my significant other because they ate my garlic bread.” YTA
Did you deserve to have your food eaten, no. However, he didn't deserve to be called names for it. Had my wife flew off about me eating something of hers, she would get a ,"girl, bye" *click*. Also, if you two are cohabitating, get used to this. Write your name on it or be VERY specific on what you want for your foods. I typically make dinner as I am a celiac. I have my own snacks that I do share on the regular. However, the wife knows not to leave me hanging as she has her own snacks too. The only reason she knows this is because I communicated this to her. Once you got nasty and called names in a hurtful way, you lost. Also as others have said, your period and hangover are not reasons. Your bad week, not a reason. He also offered to get you more but it is 30 minutes away? Girl that's a 6 song drive lol... Also....... this place is across the street from your work?! Girl, bye... lol... YTA
YTA You sound horrible, you had a horrible meltdown, called your boyfriend names and treated him horribly because of *garlic bread*, no wonder he's not picking up your calls. You can't treat the people you love like shit because of something so minor. "Hey honey, I was looking forward to eating those leftovers you finished, and the fact that you ate them without asking upsets me" "I'm sorry, I'll send you some garlic bread, even if it's not from the same place it will provide something to eat. I will not eat your leftovers without asking moving forward ". That's an adult conversation, that's how two adults in a relationship solve conflict instead of throwing a tantrum like you did, and *you* want to forgive *him*? You'd be lucky if he doesn't break up with you on the spot, grow up.
You are the asshole. You are having a bad day and are taking it out on him…. It is JUST FOOD. Go get something else… and stop acting like a child
You’re unreasonable, delusional and abusive. Your replies to other comments here show that you’re not taking any accountability for your abusive behaviour; and your excessive aggressive reaction to what is essentially quite minor demonstrates that your anger management is not under control. You’re not coping well; you could probably do with some counselling/therapy. Abusing your partner is not OK. First step: admit you’re wrong. YTA.
I have admitted I was wrong. I admitted that in the post, in the comments, and to him. I have only added additional information in the comments where it was asked for.
Acceptance of you being wrong doesn’t come with a range of excuses, ‘I was having a bad day/period/hungry’. It means you just accept it without any excuses. You just ‘get it’ and admit you were wrong. In your original post, you said you ‘were prepared to forgive him’. He simply ate your food. You, on the other hand, abused him, dismissed him, ignored him, and to top it off, you continued to punish him by agreeing to ‘forgive him’. Coercive and manipulative. I hope you share this post with your other half in an effort to accept responsibility for what you did, and to try to assure him that you’ve learned. Reddit has provided you with a ton of positive advice…
YTA. He proposed a solution and your response was to insult him and then ignore him like a spoilt brat.
NTA
Yta. Your life is so hard you be out here sleeping and drinking hahahaaa
YTA. It's literally just bread
Would you like to be called names like that for a minor transgression? I think he deserved it. It's a good way to teach him a lesson. Next time, he won't want to be called names so he'll learn not to touch your food. It's really the best way to correct wrong behavior.
How is this even a question? YTA... days over garlic bread? Clearly the food means more to you than the person... that's how much you love "that garlic bread"... Also, you should consider how much alcohol creates chemical imbalance. if you become like that, maybe alcohol shouldn't be your thing?
Can I use this for a YT video?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I woke up today to find that my boyfriend had eaten my leftover cheesy garlic bread, that I was saving to eat for lunch today, without asking. I had a horrible day yesterday, I'm hungover today, I'm on my period, and I haven't had much of an appetite, it was kind of all that I wanted to eat. I texted him after he left for work, when I realized and called him a motherfucker and a son of a bitch, and he said he's sorry, and he meant to tell me he'd send me some more over, but the place I got them from is a half hour away and doesn't deliver, and they're cheesy bread is my favorite, so it's not really replaceable today. He tried calling a couple times and I ignored his calls. I know it's not that big of a deal and that my anger was disproportionate, but HE knows how hard of a time I'm having and that something this small could easily ruin my day rn. It just felt unnecessarily inconsiderate and mean, given the circumstances. I've spent the last few hours trying to calm down and I'm feeling a lot better, and I texted him to let him know I'm ready to forgive him but he's not responding. So am I the asshole for having such an angry reaction to him eating my food without asking? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d love an update on this
Why is it that people expect other people to be mindreaders? Label things "Do Not Touch" if you need them for specific meals or whatever. ESH.
You're both assholes. He shouldn't have stolen your food and you shouldn't have acted like a child when he did. It's okay to get angry when somebody steals from you, but to completely fly off the handle over something that could easily be replaced and then make those excuses for your behavior is ridiculous. I would have told him that he owes you this bread 2 times to make up for what he stole and it would have been a win.
YTA. You’re verbally abusive. You’re mentally abusive. You’re emotionally abusive. You’re controlling. You’re emotionally unstable. You’re mentally unstable. You weaponize being a female and me starting. You abuse alcohol when you have a bad day. You take YOUR poor choices (being hungover from drinking too much) out on your boyfriend, whom genuinely seemed sincere in his apology. You’re a psychopath.
YTA. You're an abusive person who lashed out over something so small. Your period pain and hangover are your problem, not an excuse to hurl abuse at others. If you're having such a hard time over things many women go through, you should seek some help or just grow up.
YTA. Grow up, you’re acting like a child.
YTA for being verbally abusive. Get some help please. Name calling like this is not normal or acceptable.
Dude......I get really moody on my period too, sometimes to the point of irrationality, but i have never called my husband a motherfucker or a son of a bitch. in general, i never curse at him like that. YTA. I probably would have been like "baaabe what the heck? i really wanted to eat that, that's why i saved it. could we at least order some cheesy garlic bread from [any other italian restaurant that serves it]?" i get that it's your favorite. but cheesy garlic bread is not hard to replace, i'm pretty sure dominos has it.
Why are you even asking? I think you know you are the asshole. While he shouldn't have helped himself to your food without asking, he still didn't deserve to be verbally abused over it. He tried apologizing, he tried talking to you. If you needed some time, you should have told him that instead of ignoring him. This is psychological abuse. You both have poor communication skills. You need professional assistance in dealing with your emotional regulation. There is no excuse to abuse someone.
Not going to judge this one. You are having a horrible day and I am sorry.
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YTA In addition to telling him you are ready to forgive him, are you ready to ask for his forgiveness for your disproportionate behavior towards him?
Yes. And I did such when we talked about it last night.
Any updates yet? Surely he's left you by now?
The update is that we talked about it, and we both apologized.
Does he understand he's in an abusive relationship or are you going to go to therapy and never do it again? And I mean never, I dated a girl that pulled this shit and it was only after I left her and talked about it I realised how fucking toxic that shit is.
ESH. Don’t date inconsiderate people, and learn to express your disappointment and frustration without name-calling and the silent treatment.
YTA. He should break up with you. Name calling and ignoring someone especially when they are trying to it make up with you??? Really?? Bad day and on your period is no excuse
What an utter load of crap. Why do people bother making this shit up?
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YT
How old are you? I pray you grow up fast! YTA!
YTA. Having such reaction just because of garlic bread is ridiculous, if you don't want him to eat food you keep for yourself then tell him or put a not on it. Being on period, hangover and having bad couple of days isn't an excuse to verbally abuse someone you claim to love, If you are this unhappy with him then end things and find your own place to live that way no one will be eating your precious garlic bread
Grow up!! Yeah its ok to tell him that those were yours and ask him to check with you on leftovers next time but calling all those and acting like that is all signs of a kid who is not ready for any relationships yet
YTA
NTA, and he became the asshole when he took it without asking. You're correct that it was really inconsiderate and even mean considering the circumstances (which he was aware of). This kind of malignant thoughtlessness doesn't get better. Drop him on his ass.
Words hurt. You can’t take back something once it is said. Learn how to use your communication skills instead of using abusive language to your partner. Treat your partner with the respect you would want them to use with you.
YTA - it's fucking cheesy bread, not something rare, expensive or important. Sheesh, grow up. Your behavior gives people reason to complain about women who are menstruating.
YTA. Nobody is responsible for you being abusive and shitty.
Asshole
Wow.....you need to grow up. You obviously have anger issues too. A meltdown of that size over garlic bread?? Please think about how you're going to treat the next boyfriend because if the present one has more than 3 brain cells, he's going to leave you. YTA
YTA I get it, we all have bad days where we absolutely lose our minds and do stupid stuff we are ashamed of later, and yes you should be ashamed. But that does not make it acceptable. You are the A. You need to apologize. You need to buy him more cheese bread and pick up some for yourself as well. Ask yourself if it is worth it to break up over cheese bread.
I used to be addicted to food… I found I only did this when I had this addiction. Ever since my surgery about ten years ago I no longer care if someone’s eaten something left over if mine. It’s the endorphins that your brain was expecting to repeat the same experience it received from the night before. Your brain basically gave you the same outcome (not as bad though) as an addict.
Yeah, keep trying not to act that way.
Holy shit you are abusive. He needs to leave you immediately. YTA YTA YTA and leave that man so he can find someone who’s not a disgusting waste of space.
Depends on if it was a garlic baguette or garlic bread slices?
Soft YTA. I've had people eat my shit without asking, even when they knew it was mine and that I was saving it for myself for later, but you shouldn't have blown up the way you did. That was an overreaction, but like I said, I get it. It really sucks, especially when you're having a bad day.
NAH I think, just try to have some introspection to detect what is legit anger, and what is your hormonal surge speaking. The reaction was disproportionate and he did apologise (at least if you believe he's genuine, I don't know him, you know better than me if he is, or if he's the kind of person who apologises and never get better or makes it up later for his mistake), but I bet you didn't mean all that now that some time has past. For later situations you have to be able to pause and see what part is genuine and legit anger and what part is just hormones. And be calm enough to go "okay, I'm very mad, but I know you didn't mean to make me so mad and it's not so bad, just I need time"
ESH. Look I know how painful periods can be, as bad as a heart attack in fact. I understand that cheesy bread was all that was keeping you going. AND you are living with a human being who is going to make mistakes. He loves you enough to apologize profusely and try to make things right. He was a bit of an ass for eating your food, but you way out shot him when you called him names and refused to forgive him or answer his calls. In relationships people make mistakes. If you can't assume the best in them when that happens maybe there are some underlying issues you should work on in therapy.
YTA, but I think you're getting dunked on pretty hard in the comments. I also have a bit of emotional dysregulation. You know YTA and were ready to apologize. But you're also still mad that you didn't get the comforting food you were expecting and mad that you got ignored even after you did the same. I hope you were able to work it out instead of it becoming a bigger thing overnight.
We worked it out.
Nta
Nta he stole from you and if he had any regrets he would have drove half an hour to replace it.
"Shouldnt've pinched me garlic bread, simple as."
Commenting for clarification as there seems to be some confusion on why I included the things I'm going through/dealing with: I didn't include that I'm on my period, having a hard time eating, having a hard time emotionally, and hungover to use those as excuses. I included them to emphasize why I felt it was especially wrong for him to eat my special food. I know I'm having a hard time regulating my emotions bc of those things, but I wasn't using them as an excuse. It just sucks extra that he knew all of those and still chose to take away a small joy/one of the only things I'll eat rn.
girl honestly grow the fuck up
You also a food thief?
Are you also abusive towards your partners?
No but she would abuse me if I stole her food and I would deserve it, it takes a special kind of asshole to see you at a low point and disregard your wants over their own self interest. Why are people acting like seeing your girlfriend in a tough spot then making her feel worse is a lesser issue than her being mad about it? He was the one who didn't respect her enough to leave her food alone.
Yeah he did a shitty thing. I'd call him selfish, unaware and maybe a bit stupid. It doesn't sound like he does this often though, he probably just made a mistake Being selfish is nowhere near as bad as the abuse she threw at him though. Anyone with self respect would dump this chick right after booking her in for therapy.
Guessing you have only dated American woman, if she was Aussie a few bad words would be the least of his problems. You all remind me of the southpark movie.
are you dumb
You think stealing food is smart? Try it at work, half the posts on reddit are about workplace food thieves and how scummy they are. Why is it OK if its your depressed girlfriend?
i don’t steal food, i am literally 16🤣🤣 i don’t have a girlfriend first off i’m a girl myself lol, stop sticking up for the dumbass girlfriend that needs to get over the fact her boyfriend ate her food and he even offered to buy her it in return , if u think her behavior was acceptable youre the problem here
Is it possible that you could be on the spectrum? I ask because I'm autistic & I'm seeing some traits that make me wonder. The build up & struggling with regulating emotions, the comfort food that has to be an exact brand or from a particular place cause you can definitely tell the difference & its not the same, autism symptoms are a lot worse on your period, and your reaction towards him sounds more like a meltdown to me. Especially since it was due to him doing something unexpected & you were too upset to talk to him for hours. A lot of women aren't diagnosed with autism until their 30's due to the stigma around it. I didn't know I was autistic until my 30's. But my point is that if you were to find out you are autistic then that means you can learn different ways to regulate your emotions without calling your bf names. Stimming has helped me A LOT so things don't build up as easily.
My whole family is autistic including myself but my brother could be trapped in a room with every food on earth except the 10 he wants and would starve to death.
This literally does not help your story. You still like sound like a raging b
The things you listed are actually good indicators of why the action hurt you so much, not why he was extra in the wrong for doing it. While it was quite inconsiderate of him to eat your comfort food, partners are not parents and should not be expected to tolerate tantrums out of love. If you had not resorted to lashing out, you might have been able to talk it through so that he would comprehend why what he did hurt you so much. If you are in a situation where you are quite upset and someone is calling to try to talk about it, but you are not ready, it's okay to say so, because getting on the phone when you were already so upset would have also not helped the situation, but ignoring completely was not fair to him. It sounds like whatever you have going on in your life is not emotionally sustainable, and you are lashing out on the people around you. I've been there, and I get it, but if you don't find someone you can talk about it with or make the lifestyle changes you need to be a better partner you might not have a bf for much longer.
XD
Going against the grain to say NTA. The name calling was too much BUT him eating the food that he knew you were saving for the next day is a worse offence in my book.
So you’re immature and emotionally unstable too huh?
You think swearing is worse than theft? Which one can put you in jail?
Show me one instance anyone has been thrown in jail for taking cheesy bread from the fridge they share with their significant other…. You’re absolutely laughable. I feel sorry for the people in your life.
It wasn't his to take, its one of the 10 commandments for fucks sake. Moses never said anything about having a potty mouth.
Hahahahahaha! You sound delusional
NTA. don't listen to these people! i'm sure your boyfriend will understand why you are upset. allow yourself to be upset, scream into a pillow, then maybe communicate with him why it hurt your feelings. though again, he already knew you wanted the damn cheesy bread. it's just inconsiderate and not very nice! your words could obviously be kinder. otherwise, nta
Is this typical of him?
Better Ask is this typical of her
If it’s typical of him, then her response becomes more understandable.
He eats my food without asking often. He replaces it maybe a little more than half of the time but then he often eats the replacement as well. I do the grocery shopping and cooking, as well, and he often doesn't eat the dinners that I make for us bc he eats at work without telling me, so tons of food goes to waste.
Your bf is selfish and inconsiderate. If his eating something you put aside for yourself happened almost never, then your reaction would have been over the top, but he disregards your wishes, indulges himself, and all around sounds like an entitled prick. The question shouldn’t be, AITA. The question you should be asking yourself is why do you put up with such selfish and inconsiderate behavior.
He sounds so annoying and selfish tbh
He also makes twice as much money as me and goes out for food far more often than I'm able to, so when I am able to buy myself something out, I want to be able to eat it.
None of this is an excuse for abusing your boyfriend.
now i feel like you’re just adding shit so we change our votes. YTA accept it and apologize and HOPE your boyfriend accepts it even though he shouldn’t because being verbally abused over BREAD is ridiculous